Narn I Chîn Húrin 1: Túrins Fostering

[Findegil]

Oh yes, these lines were a bit rough edited.

696: I do not like your solution over much what about:

saw {Blodrin Bor's son}[Mîm the betrayer] __ by a beech standing

700: I tried 'the brotherhood' instead of 'his brothers' but that is probably to long. What about:

He bargained the blood __ of {his brothers}[the band] for gold:

701: I believe you mean 701 does not scan well. And I understand your concerns. But I can not find any fitting featur of geographie or soruonding which seemed better. Probably we should change the half line completly:

this his meed meted - __ in the {mirk at random}[meeting with Húrin];

702: Not that easy either. But probably this is a good try:

by an {orc-}[cruel ]arrow __ {his oath}[Andróg's curse] came home.>

to have a probably smoother read, hear a cleared version of complete add from the Lay:

the dawn over Narog __ dimly kindled
saw Mîm the betrayer __ by a beech standing
with throat thriléd __ by a thrusting arrow,
whose shaven shaft, __ shod with iron,
and feather-wingéd, __ was fast in the tree.
He bargained the blood __ of the band for gold:
this his meed meted - __ in the meeting with Húrin;
by an cruel arrow __ Andróg's curse came home.

Respectfully
Findegil