Tolkien Translated... into Googlese

[LadyBrooke]

“Bless us and splash us, my precioussss! I guess it’s a choice feast; at least a tasty morsel it’d make us, gollum!”

quickly descends into Gollum becoming Conan. Highlights from 56 translations.

To bless us and the beginning for us, precioussss my country! I think it was in the party elections, at least a large part of that will make us, Conan! "

Not sure what party elections have to do with becoming a different person, Gollum.

To bless us in the beginning for us, precioussss my country! I think that elections in the country, at least most of them will allow us, Conan!

Allow you Conan how Are you a celebrity stalker waiting to kidnap and murder them?

Let's start with a greeting precioussss home! I think the electoral situation, but at least we give Conan! '

Make up your mind. First you are him, then you want the government to allow you to do something to him, now you're giving him away.

we go! I think the elections, we Conan the situation, at least!

How do you Conan a situation?

I think our election Canon status, at least!

What election? Who got elected?? Aragorn held elections??? WHAT??????????

I think our position options for the Canon, at least!

What position? You and Smeagul can't agree on a thing.

I think our options for our attitudes, Canon, at least!

Well, yes, the fact that you have multiple personalities and they can't agree with each other is canon.

I think our options for our relationship, Canon, at least!

There aren't options in canon. You two are never going to be anything but arguing with each other.

I think our choice for our relationship, Canon, at least!

You don't have a choice. You're a fictional character. You do what the author says.

I think our choice for our relationship, cannon, at least!

HEY! Why are you aiming a cannon at me? Wait what are you *bang*