Arda Cup Football 2011

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

13/16 for the second round! Getting there! (But TTN got all but one of their predictions correct. Blast. Ah, well, that's now just a +2 difference between journalistic integrity and biased sportswriting! )

Group stage round 3 predictions:

GROUP A
Doriath vs Shire-Bree United
Tirion vs Himring

YOU CANNOT DENY THE RIGHTFUL HIGH-KING!!! ALL HAIL FINWË!!!

Oh, who am I kidding? I hated them back in 2008, when they eliminated the team of a certain someone. I'm rooting for them now cos that certain someone's with them. Go, blond Noldorin Cave-Elf!

GROUP B
Wilderland vs Misty Mts
Anduin vs Esgaroth

So yeah, on one hand you have two dragons and a Maia on the attack, but on the other hand you have a mountain between the goalposts. The only Maia attested to have defeated a land feature was Eönwë, when he pwned (accidentally) the continent of Beleriand. Sadly (or, rather, happily), Sauron is no Eönwë. Well, it's not like Misty Mts can score either; before the Balrog and the Wizard and the Orc meet the son of a bear-man manning the Wilderland goal, they have to go through a Warg first. A Warg. Tough luck, mates.

GROUP C
Angband vs Anfauglith
Hithlum vs The Downer

His hopeless challenge dauntless cried
Fingolfin there: 'Come, open wide,
dark king, your ghastly brazen doors!
Come forth, whom earth and heaven abhors!
Come forth, O monstruous craven lord,
and fight with thine own hand and sword,
thou wielder of hosts of banded thralls,
thou tyrant leaguered with strong walls,
thou foe of Gods and elvish race!
I wait thee here. Come! Show thy face!'

Perhaps one of the most awaited rematches in the history of Ea. Actually, it's a re-rematch: Morgoth barely won round 1, way back in the FA (First Age) cup, before football became an organised sport (swords and maces were legal back then, and nobody bothered with a formation, or indeed the ball); and Fingolfin won round 2 just last year. Once again, it's gonna be epic (and Fingolfin is gonna win again.) The only cloudy lining in this silvery match-up is that both are defenders, so we won't get to see much action between them.

GROUP D
Eregion vs Eriador
Barad-dûr vs Gondor

It's no secret why Eregion is also known as Hollin, the land of Holly. I've heard, 'Holly ****, how did Elrond save that?' too many times already. And we're bound to hear it some more.

GROUP E
Tol-in-Gaurhoth vs Mordor
The Forest vs Nargothrond

Bombadil sighting in the second round! Will we see him again? And again?? (If you know what I mean.)

GROUP F
Westernesse vs Númenor
Tol Eressëa vs Mithrim

Ar-Pharazôn! If you eliminate Numenor I'll dip you in gold and sell you as a piñata! And don't you test me!

GROUP G
Valinor vs Pelóri
Gondolin vs Beleriand

'Arien! Sign this photo--oh, no! It's burning!!! Okay, let me take a picture of you instead--argh, my eyes! I'm blind!!!'

GROUP H
Lothlórien vs Dunharrow
Minas Morgul vs Minas Tirith

C'mon, Minas Tirith! You've beat these guys before. Oh, wait--you had the help of the rest of Gondor back then. Plus Rohan. Blast.