Let's not cast the Silmarillion

[Archaic Elf]

Sorry for reviving, but this thread is hilarious. Found it while searching for something completely unrelated.

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Only problem is that I hate Beren and Luthien so much that I really think Keanu would be perfect .... with some irritating and stupid brunette as the canary....

How can this be??? Has your opinion changed on Beren and Luthien?

Originally Posted by Morthoron

How about an all-Italian dwarvish contingent: Al Pacino, Joe Pesci and Danny Devito? The Brooklyn accents would heighten the drama.

Thingol: Give me back the Silmaril and the Nauglamir.

Dwarf (played by De Niro): Are you talking to me?

Originally Posted by Oddwen

I wish to nominate Hayden Christiansen for the part of Feanor - and as his seven sons, all of them should be played by James Franco.

LOL. That sums it up.

Originally Posted by Diamond18

Hayden Christiensen really needs to play Turin Turambar. Not Feanor. Come on, think about it! It would be "perfect."

Agreed. That's what I thought as soon as I saw his name pop up.

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Morwen would have to be played by someone irredeemably upbeat and perky.

I suggest Reece Witherspoon.

That would be hilarious.

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

Hasselhoff surely will bring the fullest elements to the crucial aspect of elven hair. Maybe the colour isn't exactly right, but his casting could ensure that his elven character would never have a bad hair day.

Hasselhoff should play the elf that always taunted Turin and told him to comb his hair. Sadly, that elf dies...


Completely Hollywood Version of Silmarillion

Director - Wes Anderson (I haven't seen any of his films, but they seem quirky enough.)

Actually, "Hollywood" would probably film this like they film every horrible reality show. Up close sit down interviews with the characters filmed in a studio spliced into the storyline every ten seconds for whatever dumb reason the characters need to explain the storyline and what's going on.

Feanor - James Franco

His Two Sons (Hollywood has a budget).
Maedros - Robert Twilight Pattinson
Maglor - Justin Timberlake

Beren - Tom Cruise
Luthien - Katie Holmes

Thingol - Brad Pitt
Melian - Angelina Jolie

Turin - Hayden Darth Vader Christiansen
Nienor - Natalie Portman
Beleg Strongbow - Johnny Depp (that would be cool, but he would be killed off early)
Hurin - Joe Pesci

Tuor - Will Smith
Turgon - Sean Connory
Maeglin - Robert Downey Jr.
Glorfindel - Orlando Bloom

Earendil - Mickey Rourke
Elwing - Miley Cyrus

Isildur - Jack Black

Galadriel - Meghan Fox
Celeborn - Leonardo DiCaprio
Cirdan - Chuck Norris
Elrond - Morgan Freeman
Elros - Bill Murray

Gandalf - Justin Bieber (he's a young, hip Gandalf that the kids can relate to)
Saruman - Crispin Glover

Manwe - Will Ferrell
Varda - Lindsey Lohan
Aule - Michael Clarke Duncan
Ulmo - Michael Phelps
Mandos - Jet Li
Yavanna - Jennifer Aniston

Morgoth - Agent Smith, Hugo Weaving
Sauron - Russel Brand
Glaurong - James Earl Jones
Gothmog - Jim Carrey

Smeagol - Charlie Sheen