Legolas and the Balrog

[urbanhiker]

Originally Posted by William Cloud Hicklin

That as well as understanding what dreadful will had contested the door of Mazarbul with him: it all was clear to him now.

Yes, well said! An incompletely perceived but powerful will contests the door of Mazarbul with Gandalf, and later after sparking into fire is revealed to be a Valaraukar, a Flame of Udun, and it all makes sense: a Balrog survived the War of Wrath and is now within one jump of the One Ring, and Gandalf is going to have to lay his body down to protect the Company. Fantastic storytelling.

[Morthoron]

Actually there is a rewrite that was discarded before the original mauscript was sent in to the publisher. Tolkien did have an alternative storyline:

"Oy! Oy!" wailed Legolas. "Balwog! A Balwog has come! Good gwacious!"

Gimli quivered and wet his hauberk. "Durin's Bane!" he shrieked while covering his face.

The burning behemoth stepped from the shadows and a coruscating flame licked and sputtered over its monstrous hide like a sun's corona. Then slowly it unfurled its great black bat wings, which spanned the entire cavern, and it unleashed a deafening roar.

"Oh my," Frodo said in awe, "so Balrogs do have wings!"

"Over the bridge!" cried Gandalf. "This foe is beyond you all, fly! I shall hold the bridge. Fly!"

The rest of the Fellowship needed no further encouragement, and they bravely rushed across the bridge, leaving Gandalf, small and alone, in the middle of the great span. The Balrog stepped forward, each pace crushing rubble beneath its ponderous footfalls. It stopped at the head of the bridge and glared down at its pitiful foe.

"You shall not pass!" Gandalf said firmly. He then uttered a memorable phrase about being the servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor, and then another basically stating that dark fire would not avail the flame of Udûn; unfortunately, these are copyrighted statements and lawyers are more tenacious than a Balrog could ever be. "You shall not pass!" he shouted again defiantly.

The Balrog at first did not answer. It took a few tentative steps onto the bridge, then cocked its head like a puppy looking intently at the wizard. "Olórin?" it said in a confused, rumbling growl.

Gandalf shifted uneasily on the bridge. "You…you shall not pass," he repeated, but hesitantly. Gazing up at the fiery Balrog, he then murmured, "Roger?"

"Ollie!"

"Rog!"

To the amazement of the Fellowship on the far side of the bridge, and the dismay of the Orcs scratching and biting themselves in irritation on the other side, the Balrog and the wizard started laughing. "It's quite all right!" Gandalf shouted back to his comrades, tears of joy streaming down his face. "I thought the presence at the top of the stairs was familiar," he continued. "This is Rog, or Roger, if you will. He is an old choir chum of mine from back during the Ainulindalë, the Music of the Ainur in the deeps of time. I had the first seat in the baritone section, and he sat right below me in the bass section."

"Good times, good times!" Roger boomed.

"They've gone funny," Samwise whispered to Frodo.

"How long has it been, Rog? Thousands of years, certainly," Gandalf said.

"Before the sun and moon!" Roger snickered, and they both started laughing again.

"Remember that time when you burned down that sacred copse of oak trees? Yavanna was furious!"

"Or the time you made Nienna cry?"

Oh, she was always crying about one thing or another!"

As they laughed and joked and reminisced, Aragorn inched his way toward Gandalf on the bridge. "Gandalf," the dismayed ranger whispered, "shouldn't we be going?"

Gandalf frowned but then sighed. "Rog, we must be going – quest and all. Do you mind?"

"Not at all, dear Ollie," Roger replied.

They gazed into each other's eyes and then smiled warmly. They moved toward each other for one final embrace, but the Balrog's immense weight was too much for the ancient bridge. It collapsed under them and the Balrog went careening off into the darkness. Gandalf had managed to grab a crumbling handhold, but he, too, was slipping. He gazed up wide-eyed at the fellowship and muttered, in what seemed to be relief, "Thank Eru, my role in this fiasco is over!" Then, as if in afterthought, he said, "Fly, you fools!" He then let go and plummeted into the depths.

"They're not going to believe this back in Rivendell," Aragorn said in disbelief.

"Well, I can't go telling this tale in Gondor," Boromir added. "It's just terrible propaganda. The soldiers will start slitting their wrists."

"Ve åre døømed," Gimli grunted as he slumped to the ground.

Frodo reflected for a moment. "What if…we rewrote the scene?" he said slowly, rolling the thought over in his head.

"Did what?" Aragorn asked.

"What if…we just rewrote the scene?" the Hobbit repeated. "You know, Gandalf fights valiantly against the evil Balrog, and they both topple from the bridge - thus saving the Fellowship!"

"You…you think it could work?" Boromir said hopefully.

"It's better than the truth," Frodo replied.

"Bloody well right," Samwise said with a wink.

[Mithalwen]

Oh Morth.. I can't rep you again yet but I chortled..