2 Of Valinor and the Two Trees

[ArcusCalion]

I agree with all of these, except for d) as I think the correct geography is more important than the south = heat general rule. The entirety of the south was not hot, as the AMbarkanta tells us that the Helcaraxe was only 1 of 4 such locations, 2 of which were in the south. I say stick with Avathar

[Aiwendil]

c) I think 'Araman and Avathar' is right. 'Aman' doesn't really work because I don't think it's meant to be implied that they cleared rocks out of the whole continent, just out of the regions east of the Pelori.
d) Like gondowe and ArcusCalion, I would go with 'Avathar' here. Mists aren't necessarily cold, and the far south is not necessarily warm.
e) I agree that it must be Taniquetil and the neighbouring mountains that are referred to. Since the point of view of this sentence is from the north, it makes sense to describe those mountains as 'nigh Avathar' - i.e. down south. So I agree on 'Avathar'.
j) If Taniquetil is on the southern side of the Bay of Eldamar, I think we can edit this a little less obtrusively: 'looking across {Arvalin}[Avathar] half south and half north across that mighty Bay of Faery'.
l) Since 'twixt Erumani and the sea' refers to Valinor, we could change it to 'twixt the Pelori and the sea' or even just 'twixt the mountains and the sea'. However, 'twixt Araman and the sea' seems fine as well.

Otherwise, I agree with Findegil's suggestions.

[Aiwendil]

One other thought - I wonder if in VT-LT-05 we should introduce the name 'Ilmarin' (from LotR and the unfinished LotR index) for Manwe's halls?

[Findegil]

c) I agree that ‘Aman’ does not work. It is the coast lands that were flattened by the Valar Valinor itself was already a plain, as we are told.
d) Okay, if all of you are fine with ‘Avarthar’ containing some mist, we will go with that.
j) Aiwendil’s suggestion sound good to me, but is 'Faery' okay in our version?
l) The reference is strictly speaking to Valinor and Eldamar. Therefore 'the Pelóri' or 'the Mountains' does not work so well for me, even so I agree that 'Avathar' is also not perfect that is nearer to Tolkien's own (imperfect) phrase.

Ilmarin: Good catch! But isn’t that a bit like opening the box of Pandora? If we take ‘Ilmarin’, what then about ‘Luvailin’ ‘a mere in Eldamar under the shadow of Oiolossë’? I am inclined to take both. Luvailin belongs to a later chapter, when we speak about the building of Tirion, but Ilamrin should be inserted here:

But Manwë Súlimo, highest and holiest of the Valar, sat upon the borders of the West, forsaking not in his thought the Outer Lands. For his throne was set in majesty upon the pinnacle of Taniquetil, which was the highest of the mountains of the world, standing upon the margin of the Seas. VT-LT-05<LT That house was builded of marbles white and blue and stood amid the fields of snow, and its roofs were made of a web of that blue air called {ilwë}ilmen that is above the white and grey. This web did Aulë and his wife contrive, but Varda spangled it with stars, and Manwë dwelt thereunder.> VT-EX-37.3 <LotR A Reader’s Companion, Many Meetings, 235 (I:247). Ilmarin For this dwelling of Manwë, Lord of the Valar (the Elder King) upon Oiolossë was used in verse VT-EX-37.4{for}[u]about[/b] Valinor> the name VT-EX-37.3 <LotR A Reader’s Companion, Many Meetings, 235 (I:247). Ilmarin Ilmarin {as ‘},”mansion of the high airs”>. Spirits in the shape of hawks and eagles flew ever to and from his halls; …

Respectfully
Findegil

[ArcusCalion]

I think these are all good. But I would change "Bay of Faery" to "Bay of Eldamar"

[ArcusCalion]

Another addition from MT note on the stars:

..... for the very stones and waters were hallowed.
VT-EX-04.25 <MT {Later, when the Valar took refuge from Melkor, and the imminent ruin of Arda, and built and fortified Valinor in Aman, it} It was Varda who made the great dome above Valinor, to keep out any spirits or spies of Melkor. It was made as a simulacrum of the true firmament (Tar-menel), and the patterns were therein repeated, but with apparent stars (or 'sparks': tinwi) of greater relative size to the total visible area. So that the lesser firmament of Valinor (Nur-menel) was very brilliant.
From this work (chiefly: but also her original demiurgic labors [and later Star-making] were included) she was called ‘Star-kindler'. [Footnote: {elen}[Elen] properly referred to the real stars of Eä (but could also naturally be transferred to their imagines). The words tinwë, ñillë’ (tin ‘spark', ngil ‘silver glint’) and Sindarin tim, gil referred properly to the Valinorian imagines. Hence Quenya Tintallë from tinta cause to sparkle, but also Elentári Queen of Stars'; Sindarin Elbereth, but also Gilthoniel.]>
Therefore the Valar and ......

I know Aiwendil expressed some reservations about the Dome of Varda, so this addition might be somewhat contested.

[Elvellon]

Hey everybody. The work here is so much deeper and more impressive than I could have imagined! I hope I'm not intruding by resurrecting a finished thread for a few tiny things I found, but I want to be helpful all the same. I'm new to participating in this project, so apologies if I don't have the procedure quite down yet...

In VT-EX-36b and VT-EX-36.5 there are two instances of "Iluvatar" instead of "Ilúvatar".

Also in VT-EX-36.5, there is "Yavanna Palúrien" where it should be "Yavanna Kementári".

In VT-EX-38 "elves and men" is used. As far as I know, Elves is always capitalized. Lowercase "men" is used sometimes in the Silmarillion, but I would probably capitalize it here.

In VT-LT-06 "Avarthar" should be Avathar.

In VT-LT-14 "labored" should be "laboured" and "humors" should be "humours".

In general VT-LT-14 seems to be largely a repetition of Vala-04.2 in the Valaquenta - specifically "she dwells alone," and "her halls are west of West, nigh to the borders of the World".

Edit: I somehow missed the discussion of VT-LT-14 on page 1, so my last comment can probably be ignored. However, I did want to address one other thing in VT-LT-13c which is the changing tenses in the paragraph. Here is what I would suggest if it is actually a problem:

Thither came the sons of Men to hear their doom, and thither {are}[were] they brought by all the multitude of ills that {Melko}[Melkor]'s evil music set within the world. Slaughters and fires, hungers and mishaps, diseases and blows dealt in the dark, cruelty and bitter cold and anguish and their own folly {bring}[brought] them here; and {Fui}[Námo] {reads}[read] their hearts.