Lord of the Rings TV series gets multi-season order at Amazon

[Zigûr]

In all seriousness, I daresay it will be called "The Lord of the Rings: <Insert Subtitle Here>" to get as many people as possible to watch it.

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Zigûr

In all seriousness, I daresay it will be called "The Lord of the Rings: <Insert Subtitle Here>" to get as many people as possible to watch it.

If Truth In Advertising was a law, it'd be called Lord of the Rings: Quest for the Silver Pennies.

[Michael Murry]

Not "Lord" of the "Rings" (as in "onion"), but "Lard" of the "Fries" (as in "French"). Anything to convey the image of congealed grease at the bottom of the pan after deep frying left-over vegetables.

[Michael Murry]

If I may, I'd like to take off on Item #3 of Morthoron's "No-Wish" list for the forthcoming LOTR television series and possible spin-offs:

Boromir is the love child of Finduilas and Aragorn (in his guise as Thorongil while he fought for Gondor under the steward Echtelion II). Because the new show needs a Jon Snow moment.

Confessing my own age, ignorance, and indifference to what passes for "culture" in the "English speaking world" today, I had no idea what a "Jon Snow" moment might mean, so I did a little Internet research and discovered [source: Wikipedia] that "Jon is introduced in 1996's A Game of Thrones as the illegitimate son of Ned Stark, the honorable lord of Winterfell, an ancient fortress in the North of the fictional continent of Westeros." Since I haven't read the Song of Ice and Fire series of fantasy novels by George R. R. Martin, nor have I seen a single episode of its television adaptation Game of Thrones, I immediately thought of Mordred, the illegitimate son of King Arthur and Morgan Le Fay in T. H. White's novel The Once and Future King (based on Thomas Mallory's Le Morte d'Arthur), and subsequently adapted into the musical production and motion picture Camelot, among many other interpretations of the Arthurian legend.

Apropos of the typical "prequel" conundrum, where the audience already knows that the hero will survive every dire predicament and eventually (1) become King, (2) get the girl, and (3) live happily until he decides to depart Middle Earth when he gets damn good and ready, the proposed "LOTR" television series and spin-offs may have to take a page (or several pages) from Star Trek, The Once and Future King, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, about which Wikipedia says:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a 2008 American romantic fantasy drama film directed by David Fincher. The storyline by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord is loosely based on the 1922 short story of the same name by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The film stars Brad Pitt as a man who ages in reverse and Cate Blanchett as the love interest throughout his life.

As most sentient carbon-based life forms on Planet Earth know by now, in the most recent reboot of the half-century-old Star Trek television-and-movie franchise, Mr Spock comes back from the future through a black hole and thus disrupts the time continuum, altering the fates of the U. S. S. Enterprise crew who then get to live different lives than those they already lived in previous films and television programs. In The Once and Future King, the "wizard" Merlyn lives through time backwards, as does Benjamin Button. The Actress Cate Blanchette, of course, played the Ultimate Elf-female, Galadriel, in the Peter Jackon LOTR and Hobbit films. Not to put too fine a point on the possibilities here: with the whole gang of "wizards" -- i.e., "Istari" -- coming back from the future (or somewhere "in the West") through a black hole in the universe, every character and situation conceived by J. R. R. Tolkien can now undergo an "evolution" towards an unknown and ever-expanding "future." Prequel problem solved. Thank you T. H. White, David Fincher, and J. J. Abrams.

In the new, alternate timeline, not only will Aragorn get it on with Finduilas (producing the illegitimate Boromir) while her much-older husband Denethor sits drooling up in his tower in front of his Palantir, but Gimli the Dwarf and Galadriel will manage to cuckold both Celeborn and Legolas at the same time. I think I begin to see how this will work ...

[William Cloud Hicklin]

The key thing about the "Jon Snow moment" is that it's sort of a Turin/Oedipus/Kullervo moment. You see, Jon's alleged father and everyone else has been lying, or duped, about his parentage since his birth*, and only a handful of people know who his parents really were (not including his girlfriend...)


*Jon's mother died in childbirth and her brother claimed the baby boy as his own bastard got on some wench, to spare her memory the taint of immorality. **

**And to protect the kid's life, since given who the real father was there were lots of people who would consider infanticide an option.

[Michael Murry]

**And to protect the kid's life, since given who the real father was there were lots of people who would consider infanticide an option."

Do you mean, like Elrond taking in Aragorn and adopting him as a foster son after the two-year-old baby's father, Arathorn II, met a violent death; naming the kid "Estel" to conceal his identity because of all the people who would want to kill him if they knew his true lineage? That G. R. R. Martin sure does know how to write "original" fantasy. But thanks for explaining the "Jon Snow moment." Now I know whatever it means to know something like that.

Still, I prefer Mordred as the quintessential bastard son of an English king cuckolded by his favorite knight. I loved that line of his from Camelot: "It's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt." Can't beat that for pithy dialog.

[Michael Murry]

Hey! That title-line I thought up a few postings ago gives me an idea for some vericose versification. Like:

Fast-Food Fulminations on televised Fan Fiction

Not Lord of the "Rings" (as in “onion”)
But Lard of the "Fries" (as in “French”),
Where the grease on the tongue counts as “flavor”
If the nose can put up with the stench.

Once again the “Istari,” or, “wizards”
Will return just in time for the feast,
Being “sent back” by "someone" to “fix things”
Just when everyone thought them deceased.

Their appearance, though, causes some problems,
For a Cause must precede its Effect.
So if Future comes back to the Present
Doesn't that leave the both of them wrecked?

Anyway, getting back to the re-make,
Or the re-boot of Middle Earth time,
Nothing has to make sense on the TV;
Not for any known reason or rhyme.

Like some boys left alone on an island
After all the adults disappear
Would they think up refined entertainment
Or descend to cheap killing and fear?

Stick around for this week's exploitation:
Every shop-worn cliché in the book
Which our next episodes will continue,
Feeding you both the worm and the hook.

Michael Murry, "The Misfortune Teller," Copyright 2017

That will have to do for the present -- just in time before The Vikings, Season Five resumes tomorrow night, November 29 at 9:00 pm on The History Channel.

[William Cloud Hicklin]

Originally Posted by Michael Murry

Do you mean, like Elrond taking in Aragorn and adopting him as a foster son after the two-year-old baby's father, Arathorn II, met a violent death; naming the kid "Estel" to conceal his identity because of all the people who would want to kill him if they knew his true lineage? That G. R. R. Martin sure does know how to write "original" fantasy. But thanks for explaining the "Jon Snow moment." Now I know whatever it means to know something like that.

That only works if Elrond lied to Aragorn and everyone else about his parentage, and saddled him with the undeserved taint of bastardy ("Yeah, I knocked up some tavern trollop in Bree."). Oh, and then "Estel" hooked up with a girl way, way more closely related to him than Arwen (unwittingly, of course).

And if Tolkien had kept the reveal of all these facts from the reader until somewhere in Book VI; Strider the Bastard fights his way down to Gondor having no idea he has any claim to the throne.


----------------

"You'll never find a virtue un-statusing my quo,
Or making my Beelzebubble burst.
You can take the high road, and I'll take the low;
I cannot wait to rush in where angels fear to go."

--Mordred

(Never be another lyricist like Fritz Loew).

[Rhun charioteer]

Originally Posted by Michael Murry

Do you mean, like Elrond taking in Aragorn and adopting him as a foster son after the two-year-old baby's father, Arathorn II, met a violent death; naming the kid "Estel" to conceal his identity because of all the people who would want to kill him if they knew his true lineage? That G. R. R. Martin sure does know how to write "original" fantasy. But thanks for explaining the "Jon Snow moment." Now I know whatever it means to know something like that.

Still, I prefer Mordred as the quintessential bastard son of an English king cuckolded by his favorite knight. I loved that line of his from Camelot: "It's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt." Can't beat that for pithy dialog.

Jon Snow is somewhat like Aragorn in that is real father was the crown prince(hence being the true king) you see who ran off with Eddard Stark's sister, this created a chain of events that resulted in Jon'a real father dying in a rebellion at the hands of Ned Stark's sisters betrothed who by the way passionately hated the family of the crown prince whom he believed stole away and raped his betrothed. Hence Eddard Stark lying about Jon's actual parentage and defaming his own honor and reputation because said betrothed hated the family of crown prince even though Eddard Stark and his sister's betrothed were close friends who were fostered together. Despite this Eddard's sister's betrothed hated that family and would have had no compunctions about killing the child if he knew who the real father was hence Eddard claiming the boy as his own bastard son.

It's hinted in the books and basically confirmed in the TV show Jon is the rightful king and the "Azor Ahai" a sort of prophesied savior figure at the same time.

It's very convoluted but still follows fantasy tropes in the end whether Martin admits it or not.