The Hunt for the Ring

[Findegil]

I have few remarks about this chapter. Everything I don’t comment on I agree to.

HR-SL-02: The addition itself is okay but after it I think we should change the following:

When he had learned what he could from {him}Gollum Sauron released him ...

A tipo found here (marked broad)

… But all that you need to know on the mission that he has given you is where 'the Shire' lies. That says Mithrandir, is northwest from here some six hundred miles, …

HR-SL-12: I think you removed too much. Later when they approach Sarn Ford our text says ‘Night was waning on the twenty-second day of September when drawing together again they came to Sarn Ford …’. So they must have been split. I would edit as follows below.
HR-SL-14: I think we can be sure that readers of our work know LotR and Hobbit. So we should be glad of these ‘bridges’, and not remove them.
And another three typos brqad printed in the middle and last give paragraph.

… sent out into Eriador all the spies, spy-birds, and agents that he could muster.>
HR-SL-12b{Two days after Gandalf had departed from Orthanc, …
…
…
…
… Sauron's vengeance could wait.}
Now he divided his company into four pairs, and they rode separately, but he himself went ahead with the swiftest pair, Thus they passed west out of Rohan, and explored the desolation of Enedwaith HR-SL-13b{, and came at last to Tharbad}.<HR text C When the Black Riders were far across Enedwaith and drawing near at last to Tharbad, …
…
…
…
Saruman had long taken an interest in the Shire – because Gandalf did, and he was suspicious of him; … When Gandalf had refused to treat with him Saruman had redoubled his efforts. …
…
…
…
… He put therefore the Shadow of Fear on the Dunlending, and sent him on to Bree as an agent. HR-SL-14 He was the squint-eyed southerner at the Inn.> Thence they rode through Minhiriath, and even though they were not yet assembled a rumor of dread spread about them, and the creatures of the wild hid themselves, and lonely men fled away. HR-SL-14.5{But some fugitives on the road they captured; and to the delight of the Captain two proved to be spies and servants of Saruman. One of them had been used much in the traffic between Isengard and the Shire, and though he had not himself been beyond the Southfarthing he had charts prepared by Saruman which clearly depicted and described the Shire. These the Nazgûl took, and then sent him on to Bree to continue spying; but warned him that he was now in the service of Mordor, and that if ever he tried to return to Isengard they would slay him with torture.}
Night was waning on the twenty-second day of September …

HR-SL-15: In the text A that we used, the Stoors have been died out long before the Hunt for the Ring. So must remove the attack here in text B. I do nit agree that we should end the Hunt here, but we might discuss this issue after you posted the draft of the next chapter.

HR-SL-16: This at least we have in the words of JRR Tolkien:

HR-SL-15<HR text B{In version B it is noted that the}The Black Captain did not know whether the Ring was still in the Shire; that he had to find out. The Shire was too large for a violent onslaught HR-SL-15.2{ such as he had made on the Stoors}; he must use as much stealth and as little terror as he could, and yet also guard the eastern borders. Therefore he sent HR-SL-15.4{some}<The Lord of the Rings Companion; Three is Company five> of the Riders into the Shire, with orders to disperse while traversing it; and of these Khamûl was to find Hobbiton, where ‘Baggins’ lived, according to Saruman's papers. HR-SL-15.4<The Lord of the Rings Companion; Three is Company {[}One{]} keeps to the east, passing northwards, towards the Marish, and the Bridge. {[}One{]} takes road leading northwest to Michel Delving, and {[}another{]} goes with him, but there [?]fares on and traverses the North Farthing. {[}The other tow{]} go through the central Shire, until they reach the East Road, probably near the Three-Farthing Stone. ({[}These{]} were probably Khamûl and his companion, from Dol Guldur; and {[}Khamûl{]} {[}is{]} the most ready of all (save {[}the Witch-King{]}) to perceive the presence of the Ring, but also the one whose power was most confused and diminished by sunlight). Drawn by the Ring {[}Khamûl{]} goes to Hobbiton which he reaches at evening on {Fri. Sept.}Friday September 23rd. {[}His companion{]} keeps an eye on the East Road and Stock Road, lurking probably between the two, just south of Whitefurrows. {[}Khamûl{]} just misses Frodo, and misled by the {Gaffers [sic]}Gaffer starts out east again.
{[}On 24 September he{]} picks up the stock Road, and overtakes Frodo at approaches to Woody End – probably by accident; he becomes uneasily aware of the Ring but is hesitant and uncertain because of the bright sun. He turns into the woods and waits for night.
>HR-SL-16b<The Lord of the Rings Companion; Fog on the Barrow-Downs {In Marquette MSS 4/2/36 (The Hunt for the Ring) it is said that after}After the Black Riders had overcome the Rangers guarding Sarn Ford, four of the Riders{
} pursue the Rangers along Greenway, and having slain them or driven them off Eastwards, make a camp at Andrath (where the road passes between the Barrowdowns and the South Downs){ [cf. note for p.177]}. {[}The Witch-king{]} now visits the Barrowdowns and stops there for some days (probably until late on 27th). This proves a main error, though in fact it was nearly successful, since the Barrowwights {are}were roused, and all things of evil spirit, hostile to Elves and Men, {are}were on the watch with malice in the Old Forest and on the Barrowdowns. {[}The other three Black Riders{]} are left to guard the eastern borders, to watch Greenway, and guard against Elves or Dúnedain coming from eastwards.>

Respectfully
Findegil

[ArcusCalion]

I agree with everything except HR-SL-15.4 for two reasons. The first and smaller one is that there remain a good many verbs that are in the present tense, when they should be in past tense, which I have changed (this problem also exists in 16b, but I agree to that change, and I corrected them on my draft). The larger issue with this insert, which is related to why I did not put it in, is that ir is very spefiic with its description of events of LotR, far more so than any text we can hope to create. In fact, if we keep this addition at all, I think we must move it to next chapter, since it takes place so clearly after Frodo has left Hobbiton. Therefore, I think if we decide to keep this addition, we should move it to the next chapter, and if we do not keep this change, we can leave it here. As you say, either way, it requires review of the next chapter's draft, so I will post that as soon as possible. Once I post that draft, we may discuss there how best to incorporate these lines.

[ArcusCalion]

Actually, reviewing the draft for the next chapter, I think it is best to take the entire addition of HR-SL-15 through the end of HR-SL-15.4 and move it to the next chapter. It fits into that draft quite smoothly. I will place it there in my post for that chapter. I also added in the rest of the Hunt for the Ring narrative given in A Reader's Companion.

[ArcusCalion]

Sorry to triple post, but I found this addition for the chapter only just now. Right after HR-SL-11 finishes and the part I removed (HR-SL-12) begins, I propose we add this in given in A Reader's Companion from the Hunt for the Ring manuscripts:

HR-SL-11.5 <Lord of the Rings Companion; The Council of Elrond Gandalf {escapes}escaped on the night of 17/18. {Full}It was a Full Moon 6 days waned, but bright because the weather after long cloud {has}had become clear. Gandalf {cannot}could not descend on an Eagle before the Gates of Edoras, and in any case {has}had to avoid the pursuit of Saruman. He {is}was set down therefore by Gwaihir in the foothills of the White {Mts.}Mountains at dawn on September 18 (west of Edoras), and {does}did not come to Edoras until Sept 19 - in a beggarly guise on foot. He {cannot}could not get an audience with Théoden, {[}the king{]}, and {is}was treated as a beggar at the doors. It {is}was not until {Sept}September 20 that his persistence (and growing anger which {alarms}alarmed the doorwards) {gains}gained him entrance to Théoden, warning him against Saruman. Wormtongue (secretly in Saruman's service, and with great influence over the king) {is}was absent HR-SL-11.7 {for some reason} and Théodred, {[}the king's son{]}, {is}was more favorable to Gandalf; so Théoden {is}was troubled but {will}would not make up his mind. He {says}said he {will}would speak of it again next day. But on the next day, the 21 of September, Wormtongue {reappears}reappeared. It was really for him that Théoden waited (since he {has}had become enthralled by his counsel).
Wormtongue {now opposes}then opposed Gandalf as Théoden {bids}bade him begone next morning: it then being late in the day. ({W'tongue}[Wormtongue] (as {G.}[Gandalf] {guesses}guessed or {knows}knew) {sends}sent off a messenger to Isengard that night. But the messenger even with utmost haste {does}did not reach Saruman until late on the 24 of {[}September{]}. It {is}was about 250 miles from Edoras to Isengard.)
Gandalf {says}said that this {is}was ill-treatment which Théoden {will}would rue. He {does}did not understand the urgency of the times. He {mentions}mentioned the dreadful rumors of the passage of the Black Riders which have terrified all Rohan. ‘Now,’ said Gandalf, ‘if no one else dare oppose these evil things, I dare. But not on foot. One might look for aid in such business from a great king, lord of horses.’ Then Théoden rashly {exclaims}exclaimed: {why}’Why, take any horse you wish - and begone!’ This {is}was much to dislike of {W'tongue}[Wormtongue] but Théoden {is}was reluctant to take back his word, and Théodred {opposes W'tongue}opposed Wormtongue, saying that a king {cannot}could not do so even to a beggar, but that for his part he {thinks}thought more honor and heed should be paid to Gandalf Greyhame.
So on 22 {[}September{]} Gandalf {leaves}left Edoras and {goes}went to the horse-sheds. (They {are}were some way from Edoras. Gandalf {does}did not get there until evening{?}) There he {sees}saw Shadowfax, and {decides}decided to have him alone. {S'fax}[Shadowfax] {is}was wild wary and unwilling, and {walks}walked away whenever Gandalf {approaches}approached. It {is}was not till late on the 22 that {S'fax will}Shadowfax would allow Gandalf to come up and speak to him; and not until Sept 23rd that he {is}was tamed and {will}would allow Gandalf to ride off. Gandalf {sets}set off 6 pm 23rd of September.>

HR-SL-11.7: I removed this because in the narrative before this addition, it says that Wormtongue was still on his way back to Rohan from Isengard at the time of Gandalf's escape, so we don't need to say 'for some reason,' as we have already given the reason.

[Findegil]

HR-SL-11.5: Godd find! I agree, so I think we should edit it in on place a bit different:

Gandalf {says}said that this {is}was ill-treatment which Théoden {will}would rue{. He does}, and that Theoden did not understand the urgency of the times. He {mentions}mentioned the dreadful rumors of the passage of the Black Riders which have terrified all Rohan. ...

To the issue with the structure I will come back, when I have analysed the next chapter in more detail.

Respectfully
Findegil

[ArcusCalion]

Agreed to the editing change, and I await your restructuring proposal.