The Stewards

[gandalf85]

Yeah, you're right, it is a pretty vague "call-forward". OK, I agree to keep it.

[gandalf85]

There is a footnote mentioning Balin in the "Hunt for the Ring" chapter, and I figured we should include Balin's expedition to Moria in the main text. The Tale of Years only contains for the entry 2989: "Balin leaves Erebor and enters Moria." However, Return of the Shadow contains a lengthier description which is not in the final published FotR. I propose we place it in "Of the Finding of the Ring" before TS-SL-07b. TS-FR-03 describes Bilbo returning home, so it has to come after that. Here is the text:

Orcs were mustering ... given thought to them.>
TS-FR-05 <Return of the Shadow; In the House of Elrond {'}Balin took to travelling again{,' he answered. 'You may have heard that h}. He visited Bilbo in Hobbiton {many years ago: well,}, and not very long after that he went away for two or three years. Then he returned to the Mountain with a great number of dwarves that he discovered wandering masterless in the South and East. He wanted Dain to go back to Moria - or at least to allow him to found a colony there and reopen the great mines. {As you probably know, }Moria was the ancestral home of the dwarves of the race of Durin, and the forefathers of Thorin and Dain dwelt there, until they were driven by the goblin invasions far into the North. Now Balin reported that Moria was again wholly deserted, since the great defeat of the goblins, but the mines were still rich, especially in silver. Dain was not willing to leave the Mountain and the tomb of Thorin, but he allowed Balin to go, and he took with him many of the folk of the Mountain as well as his own following; and Ori and Oin went with him. For many years things went well, and the colony throve; there was traffic once more between Moria and the Mountain, and many gifts of silver were sent to Dain. Then fortune changed. {Our messengers}The messengers of the Dwarves of the Mountain were attacked and robbed by cruel Men, well-armed. No messengers came from Moria; but rumour reached {us}the Mountain that the mines and dwarf-city were again deserted. For long {we}they could not learn what had become of Balin and his people - but {now we have}then they had news, and it {is}was evil. {It is to tell these tidings and to ask for the counsel of - of those that dwell in Rivendell that I have come. But to-night let us speak of merrier things!}>

TS-SL-07b <Appendix A Fengel {He} was ...

I'm unsure if we should keep the bit at the end about the news being evil. It doesn't explicitly say that the "evil news" is the death of Balin, which Gimli is obviously surprised about in FotR. I think this works here as ambiguous foreshadowing.

I think we should also include the fate of Balin later on, possibly in the "Treason of Isengard" chapter when the company arrives at Moria. I will look for something to add when I post my comments on that chapter.

[ArcusCalion]

I like this very much! Have we mentioned Balin at all before this? If not we may need to.

[gandalf85]

"Of Durin's Folk" has two mentions of Balin, and Balin is there when Gandalf has a discussion with Thorin about the Quest for Erebor (he even has a few speaking lines in our text).

[ArcusCalion]

Perfect!

[Findegil]

TS-FR-05: Very nice find! I would only edit t in one place a bit differently:

... Then fortune changed. {Our}The messengers of the Dwarves of the Mountain were attacked and robbed by cruel Men, well-armed. No messengers came from Moria; but rumour reached {us}the Mountain that the mines and dwarf-city were again deserted. For long {we}the Dwarves could not learn what had become of Balin and his people - but {now we have}then they had news, and it {is}was evil. ...

I exchanged one ‘they’ for the more general ‘the Dwarves’ to avoid to mauch ‘they’s.
I am as well a bit unsure about the evil news at the end. In the original context it would be made clear in the next chapter that this evil news did not come form Moria, but from Mordor. But in our case it is just an evil forshadowing. For the time being I would let it stand.

Respectfully
Findegil

[gandalf85]

That change looks good to me, Fin.