Silmarillion Parody - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Urwen · 05-15-2019, 01:59 PM

Guide to Successful Relationship by Phary, Eol, Maeglin and Turin Turambar

It's recommended that you follow these guidelines

1. Your love interest must be a relative, preferably a close one, but a distant one will do the trick too.
2. She must be unwilling to a large degree
3. She must be of nobility
4. She must have a child that you can slay (optional)
5. If you ever beget a child with her, it is necessary that you should slay him/her when he/she comes of age
6. If she is espoused to another, kill them too.
7. If there is someone else who shows an interest in your girl, you must at least try to kill them in the most painful manner possible. Succeeding is recommended, but not necessary.
8. If the rival for your girl's affections is stronger than you, then you will undoubtedly die, but you must throw in one last act of defiance before this happens.
9. You must perform a highly elaborate suicide (optional)

05-15-2019, 01:59 PM	#36
Urwen Spirit of Nen Lalaith Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Meneltarma Posts: 5,408	Here's another one Guide to Successful Relationship by Phary, Eol, Maeglin and Turin Turambar It's recommended that you follow these guidelines 1. Your love interest must be a relative, preferably a close one, but a distant one will do the trick too. 2. She must be unwilling to a large degree 3. She must be of nobility 4. She must have a child that you can slay (optional) 5. If you ever beget a child with her, it is necessary that you should slay him/her when he/she comes of age 6. If she is espoused to another, kill them too. 7. If there is someone else who shows an interest in your girl, you must at least try to kill them in the most painful manner possible. Succeeding is recommended, but not necessary. 8. If the rival for your girl's affections is stronger than you, then you will undoubtedly die, but you must throw in one last act of defiance before this happens. 9. You must perform a highly elaborate suicide (optional) __________________ Tuor: Yeah, it was me who broke [Morleg's] arm. With a wrench. Specifically, this wrench. I am suffering from Maeglinomaniacal Maeglinophilia.