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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
09-30-2005, 12:58 PM
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#7641 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf: I demand-eth a new picture!
 Bilbo shows Gandalf the Crazy Captions thread. Gandalf: I do not uncloak that often! Bilbo: *cough* yeah, *cough* OR Gandalf: And if I put my hand in this magic box of mystery I'll find the Ring of power? Not a mouse trap like last time! Bilbo: Oh, why would you think that? 
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-30-2005, 01:21 PM
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#7642 |
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Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,449
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Sweet, innocent girl that I am (not)
this is what I thought was obvious for the previous one....
On refelction it had been a mistake to entrust the restoration of the Sistine Chapel to a Tolkien fan.... |
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09-30-2005, 01:29 PM
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#7643 |
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Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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Gandalf was unimpressed by Bilbo's "smokin' head" party trick.
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
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09-30-2005, 01:45 PM
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#7644 |
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Spectre of Decay
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Bar-en-Danwedh
Posts: 2,178
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Another tired old smoking gag
Since Bogart wouldn't be born for several thousand years, Gandalf was forced to resort to frowning meaningfully.
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Man kenuva métim' andúne? |
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09-30-2005, 01:58 PM
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#7645 |
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Energetic Essence
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew
Posts: 3,285
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Gandalf: So, you told the Wraiths how to use MapQuest and that's how they got to Rivendell!?!?!?
Bilbo: Yep!! Gandalf: You know what, I finally figured something out. I don't hate MapQuest, I hate you!!!! 
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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09-30-2005, 02:00 PM
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#7646 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf is not impressed with Bilbo's five-mile long pipe.
OR Bilbo: I know you must get this all the time, but, do Balrogs have wings? Gandalf: I'm not sure. It may have been a shadow, or wings, I wasn't concentrating.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-30-2005, 04:07 PM
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#7647 |
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Everlasting Whiteness
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams
Posts: 4,533
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Gandalf wonders whether to tell Bilbo that his head is on fire.
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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09-30-2005, 06:48 PM
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#7648 |
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Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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Bilbo: (through gritted teeth): Hlllp mm Gnndlff!
Gandalf: My dear Mr Baggins, if you choose to put live electrical wires in your mouth, then you really only have yourself to blame.
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
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09-30-2005, 06:52 PM
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#7649 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn?
Posts: 1,031
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Bilbo looks to see if Gandalf is enjoying the evenings performance of "Chorus Girls" by the Hobbiton Girls Glee Club. (complete with high kicks...as high as a little hobbit leg can kick anyway!)
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York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best! |
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09-30-2005, 08:09 PM
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#7650 |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,126
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Where be you a-goin' to, puffing like a bellows?
Bilbo*elbowing Gandalf*: Lookit that Only Real Estel, 'e's got three hundred posts in this thread. Bet you can't say as much.
Gandalf: Let him keep his infamy. I am the subject of a thousand topics, a thousand thoughts, and a thousand... Bilbo: ...Captions. But only one joke. Gandalf: *harrumph* Or... Bilbo: I should have another drink. It makes you so witty. Or... Bilbo: The Old Ones were right..."Stairway to Heaven" makes perfect sense if you're stoned!
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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09-30-2005, 08:14 PM
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#7651 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Virginia.
Posts: 952
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Bilbo: "You know Gandalf, it really isn't fair for a Maia to compete in a smoke ring contest with a Hobbit."
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
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09-30-2005, 08:22 PM
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#7652 |
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Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,637
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Bilbo: (in a taunting singing voice) I found the ring--You didn't!!! Neener neener neener!
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke |
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10-01-2005, 12:57 AM
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#7653 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf isn't convinced that tiddlywinks is the 'exciting and indescribably fantastic' game that Bilbo had led him to believe.
OR Bilbo’s annual staring competition with a fly had lost the massive audiences it once pulled in.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-01-2005, 04:24 AM
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#7654 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Gandalf: You know, Bilbo, you could really use a trim.
Bilbo: Hmm?
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
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10-01-2005, 11:59 AM
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#7655 | |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,126
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Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Bilbo: Hey Gandalf, would you help me with my pickup lines?
Gandalf: Um, sure. Bilbo: 'kay, here goes... Quote:
(Sorry...I've been waiting to use those...and no, I've never experienced any of them.)
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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10-01-2005, 02:48 PM
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#7656 |
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Blithe Spirit
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,779
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When summoned before the White Council, Gandalf claimed that while he had tried Longbottom Leaf in his youth in the west that is forgotten, he had never inhaled.
Bilbo knew different, and what's more - as he reminded his old friend - he had the pictures to prove it.
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Out went the candle, and we were left darkling |
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10-01-2005, 03:02 PM
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#7657 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf: I don't understand!
Bilbo: oh come on now! It's not that hard! Just push the clutch down before changing gear. Then there won’t be so much smoke.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-01-2005, 03:16 PM
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#7658 |
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Maniacal Mage
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side!
Posts: 3,297
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Bilbo: Look at me! I'm Perky, the pipe weed pusher!
Gandalf: Hush now! We'll have no more of that until WWXII or Gandalf: Do you realize that your pipe is bigger than your stunt double? or simply, Bilbo:
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.' |
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10-01-2005, 03:34 PM
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#7659 |
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Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Gandalf had to admit that Bilbo's moustache was, at least, an original style.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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10-01-2005, 03:52 PM
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#7660 |
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Laconic Loreman
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 7,507
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Bilbo boasts he has the longest pipe in all Middle-earth.
Gandalf: Mine's bigger
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Fenris Penguin
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10-01-2005, 04:02 PM
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#7661 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: As with the flygja
Posts: 1,403
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Gandalf begins to wonder no more as Bilbo's 'new' pipe begins to look more and more like his...
Or... Bilbo: Say it... Gandalf: I am Gandalf the cloa... Bilbo: Say it! Gandalf: Fine! I am Gandalf the Un-Cloaked! Bilbo: You know, all these self-confidence seminars are going to pay off one day... Gandalf: Yes, and you'll still owe me two crates of pipeweed... ~ Aesthete
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
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10-01-2005, 04:20 PM
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#7662 |
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Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Gandalf keeps Bilbo distracted while someone pushes a stick towards his exposed nose.
OR Bilbo: "Oh, Santa, I want a barrel of Old Winyards, and I want to see the Lonely Mountain again, and I want a barrel of pipeweed... no TWO barrels... No, a field of pipeweed!... NO! All the pipeweed fields in the Shire!  Gandalf: "I think you've had a bit much..." OR Gandalf finds it difficult to stay awake as Bilbo tells him about his experiments with mushrooms and wine. Bilbo: "And then I planted some of Maggot's 'shrooms and watered them with my father's 1296. They turned into this peculiar pinkish-purple plant. It really wasn't that great, but looks good on the table... I think next I'll try..."
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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10-01-2005, 07:43 PM
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#7663 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Gandalf: "Pssst! Bilbo! What's your WW role?"
Bilbo: "Now, that is the question of the hour, isn't it?" |
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10-02-2005, 12:03 AM
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#7664 |
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Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,637
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Bilbo: (snickering) I can't tell if it's the pipe-weed or the Hobbit in my, but MAN I've got the munchies.
Gandalf: Good grief.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke |
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10-02-2005, 01:56 AM
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#7665 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Bilbo: You know, if you died your beard green and laid down on the grass, you'd be invisible.
Gandalf: I think you've had too much pipe weed. OR Gandalf didn't know how to react to the news that Tom Bombadill was, in fact, Bilbo in disguise. Gandalf: And I bet you’re really proud of yourself. All that stuff about 'before the dark Lord came form outside' stuff was just nonsense.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-02-2005, 06:35 AM
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#7666 |
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Laconic Loreman
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 7,507
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Bilbo talks about giving all the hobbit children pipe weed.
Gandalf: You're the drug-lord of Hobbiton? I never knew! How could I let this go under my very nose for such a long time?
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Fenris Penguin
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10-02-2005, 06:40 AM
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#7667 |
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Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 17
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THE PRICE OF WEED IS INCREASING
Gandalf: Bilbo please can I smoke some weed? Bilbo: No my weed go away Gandalf: Please Bilbo: You kow how expensive weed is getting? I can hardly afford it now. (That explains gandalf's sad face). Bilbo: Why don't you try cotton candy? Gandalf: Bilbo:
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The riders of rohaan are random |
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10-02-2005, 06:56 AM
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#7668 |
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Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Gandalf senses that Bilbo is about to make him an offer he can't refuse.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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10-02-2005, 07:38 AM
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#7669 |
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Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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(Oddwen, if only you have seen how much I shivered as I read through that caption of yours...
)Bilbo comes up with a new way to make his hair grow like Gandalf's. |
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10-02-2005, 07:48 AM
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#7670 |
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Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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Bilbo fell for it.
Gandalf: I'm actually a spy for Sauron, y'know? Now, tell me where the Ring is, or I'll stick this up your nose.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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10-02-2005, 08:22 AM
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#7671 |
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Mischievous Candle
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam.
Posts: 1,234
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A huge real life Werewolf game wasn't exactly what Gandalf had had in mind when Bilbo spoke of "a night to remember"...
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Fenris Wolf
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10-02-2005, 09:16 AM
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#7672 |
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Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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Not this again.
Bilbo: Hey, look over there.
Gandalf: Please, not another badger. I'm scared of badgers.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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10-02-2005, 10:39 AM
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#7673 |
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Energetic Essence
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew
Posts: 3,285
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Bilbo: Look!!! An obvious distraction!!!
Gandalf: Where!?!?
__________________
I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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10-02-2005, 07:49 PM
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#7674 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Bilbo: "Don't play innocent with me Gandalf! I know you were watching her dance tonight...nice girl. Hair as blue as cold tea and eyes as blonde as a three-day-old muffin..."
Gandalf: "I think it's time to put down the pipe, Bilbo." |
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10-03-2005, 07:36 AM
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#7675 |
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Deadnight Chanter
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,244
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Bilbo: I tell you!
Gandalf: Hm-m? Bilbo: Come on, Gandalf, I tell you the oliphaunt Gollum promised to give me if I won in the riddle game had a tusk this long! Or maybe even longer! He said his granny gave him that oliphaunt! Gandalf (thinking): He thinks I'll buy it, like If I don't know what Gollum may have had on his lake! He thinks I'm slow or what?. Heh, I know it was a boar, not an oliphaunt!
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Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time! Last edited by HerenIstarion; 10-03-2005 at 07:40 AM. |
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10-03-2005, 09:01 AM
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#7676 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Bilbo: "Ah, yes, Gandalf. If there's one thing I've learned it's that nothing ever comes easy. I told Frodo he'd have to work for everything he wanted, that's the way it should be. By the way, how's your lottery ticket looking?"
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10-03-2005, 09:55 AM
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#7677 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Bilbo: I have to tell you Gandalf! I think you need to grow a beard.
Gandalf: I think we need a new picture.  The Witch King... ... uncloaked? OR Gollum sees a rather unflattering statue of himself and has to restrain himself from leaping out in protest.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-03-2005, 10:14 AM
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#7678 | |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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a combo...
Quote:
Frodo, Gollum, & Sam comes across hundreds of Orcs breakdancing. Gollum: “Stupid Mapquest! This was supposed to be the Green Day concert!” |
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10-03-2005, 10:19 AM
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#7679 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
Anyway, A new starbucks opens in Minas Morgul. Gollum is annoyed, as it was where his favourite bookshop once was. 
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-03-2005, 11:13 AM
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#7680 |
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Mischievous Candle
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam.
Posts: 1,234
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Behold the cave of Caerbannog!
Gollum: There he is!
Frodo: Where? Gollum: There! Sam: What? Behind the rabbit? Gollum: It is the rabbit! or The wolves had agreed. Gothmog would die toNIGHT.
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Fenris Wolf
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Linear Mode
