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06-28-2008, 12:52 AM | #41 | |
Wisest of the Noldor
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Quote:
EDIT: Suddenly I really, really want to mod a WW game based on the disastrous, murder-ridden filming of "Jewel Wars: Episode 1".
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"Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo. Last edited by Nerwen; 06-28-2008 at 12:58 AM. |
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06-28-2008, 01:18 AM | #42 | |
Blithe Spirit
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Quote:
Aure enteluva!
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Out went the candle, and we were left darkling |
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06-28-2008, 01:37 AM | #43 |
Wisest of the Noldor
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Casting doesn't get much more inspired than that.
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"Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo. |
06-28-2008, 10:34 AM | #44 |
shadow of a doubt
Join Date: Jan 2008
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I'd like to suggest Rob Schneider as Mim the Petty Dwarf.
Dolph Lundgren can play Turin. Melian would be the perfect role for Julia Roberts to ruin, being perhaps the most overrated actress in history. Oh and the idea of Sean Connery as Glaurung send shudders down my spine.
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06-28-2008, 10:49 AM | #45 |
Blithe Spirit
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Andie MacDowell as Luthien.
Mary-Sue - bring it on!
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Out went the candle, and we were left darkling |
06-28-2008, 10:53 AM | #46 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
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Then you can have Hugh Grant as Beren, and they can reprise their roles in Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Nick Frost and Simon Pegg as Elrond and Elros.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
06-28-2008, 10:23 PM | #47 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Maybe Nathan Lane and Lee Evans for I don't know, Maglor and Maedhros or Elrond and Elros. No, wait, Maglor and Maedhros, it'll be perfect during the scene where they'll decide on attacking Eonwe's camp!
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06-29-2008, 10:50 AM | #48 | |
Blithe Spirit
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Quote:
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Out went the candle, and we were left darkling |
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06-29-2008, 08:42 PM | #49 |
Wisest of the Noldor
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Oh, nice choice, Lalaith! I was just wondering who would make a good Curufin.
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"Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo. |
06-30-2008, 01:49 AM | #50 |
Fair and Cold
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The immortal genius of Charlie Sheen cannot be overlooked. Excellent suggestions have been made for Beren (Keanu "Whoa" Reeves is truly priceless), but Charlie must make at least a cameo somewhere (Barahir? Hmmm). I actually have a soft spot for Sheen, but he would be spectacularly awful in such a film.
There is also Madonna to consider. I can't imagine any movie being complete without her... skillz. I think she's Queen of Pop and all, but the acting, dear God, the acting. She'd do well as a matriarchal Melian type. *dum dum dum*
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~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~ Last edited by Lush; 06-30-2008 at 01:55 AM. |
06-30-2008, 10:26 AM | #51 |
Wisest of the Noldor
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So much talent, so few roles...
What parts haven't we cast yet? I'd hate to think of any of these gifted actors missing out.
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"Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo. |
06-30-2008, 06:54 PM | #52 | |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
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Oh dear, but which Rowan Atkinson? The Blackadder? Mr. Bean? Perhaps we could double cast him where Tolkien has mirror characters, such as Turin/Tuor or Hurin/Huor or Elwing and Elros.
Quote:
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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06-30-2008, 07:58 PM | #53 |
Mighty Quill
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How about Rowan Atkinson as Ulmo? Just think, Mr. Bean one of the Valar!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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07-01-2008, 06:34 AM | #54 | |
Odinic Wanderer
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It is all about making the silmarillion with bad casting, not turning the silmarillion into a comedy. |
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07-01-2008, 11:00 AM | #55 | |
Pilgrim Soul
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How about James Fleet as Maeglin? And though I liked her in Notting Hill, Gina McKee was sooooooooooo leaden and passionless as Irene in The Forsyte Saga that she would be a possibility for Aredhel in this ..inspired production... How about Madonna as Miriel?
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
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07-01-2008, 04:56 PM | #56 |
A Shade of Westernesse
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Narration would have to be done by Morgan Freeman, as Eru reflecting on the whole divine drama. "At the time the possibilities seemed endless..."
Lush was definitely onto something when she suggested casting Charlie Sheen. I say you have to have Emilio Estevez as Manwe, Sheen as a somewhat resentful Aule, and the cast of the Breakfast Club filling in other Valar/Valier roles. Four must-casts for me: Willem Dafoe as a young Sauron; Christopher Walken as Glaurung...for sure; Jon Voigt as the leader of the wandering men whom Turin befriends in the woods; Kevin Sorbo as Turin.
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07-01-2008, 05:37 PM | #57 |
Alive without breath
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Brian Blessed should be Dearon!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
07-01-2008, 06:02 PM | #58 | |
Cryptic Aura
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(Of course, come to think of it, he does have talent.) Has anyone cast William Shatner yet?
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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07-01-2008, 06:26 PM | #59 |
Shade of Carn Dűm
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Oh he should definitely be Morgoth
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07-01-2008, 06:36 PM | #60 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Then he can have a spoken-word album covering all the 'greatest hits' of the valar. That sounds evil enough to me.
~ Ka
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07-01-2008, 06:53 PM | #61 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
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Chuck Norris as Old Hurin. Even after spending decades imprisoned by Morgoth, you don't **** with Chuck.
Then we add Steven Segal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sly Stallone, Milla Jovovich, Dolph Lundgren (already mentioned), The Rock (already mentioned), Kevin Sorbo (already mentioned), Arnold Schwarzenegger, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Marc Singer (Dar of Beastmaster) and Lou Ferrigno (what part each plays is inconsequential, isn't it?), and have the B-Grade action movie of the century: 'The Silmarillion: Armageddon in Middle-earth'. Perhaps even add Jet Li and Jackie Chan as Easterlings. P.S. And a cameo by Val Kilmer as Fingolfin, who will smile in defiance of Morgoth and say, "I'll be your huckleberry." P.P.S. In the extended version feature section (Disc Four), Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sly Stallone practicing their English accents together.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. Last edited by Morthoron; 07-01-2008 at 09:07 PM. |
07-01-2008, 08:47 PM | #62 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Perhaps Shatner and Sorbo might manage to pull off the Two Trees...
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07-07-2008, 06:45 AM | #63 |
Fair and Cold
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We could potentially just cast William Shatner as everyone, methinks.
There's also David Hasselhoff to consider, though. For an intellectual role. Finrod Felagund comes to mind.
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~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~ |
07-08-2008, 09:34 AM | #64 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
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Well, if we are seeking actors on a more intellectual level, Rob Schneider and Will Ferrell come to mind. Perhaps Adam Sandler as Beren and Drew Barrymore as Luthien.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
07-08-2008, 10:23 AM | #65 | ||
Cryptic Aura
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Quote:
Quote:
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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07-08-2008, 11:57 AM | #66 | |
Pilgrim Soul
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So it has to be seriously bad?
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
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07-08-2008, 03:30 PM | #67 |
Cryptic Aura
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"hideous travesty" is what the rules on Nerwen's first post say. Like Beauty, I think the meaning of that lies in the eye of the beholder--and poster.
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
07-10-2008, 04:33 AM | #68 |
Leaf-clad Lady
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For sure, Keira Knightley must be Lúthien - there never was an actress whose looks and skills were more overrated. So why not cast Orlando Bloom as Beren and have them repeat their - ah, so credible - romance from Pirates of the Carribbean?
Schwartzenegger is a must - but for what role? It's long since I last read the Sil.. Is there some silent, rather grim hero who could do with a few short lines? Oh, and Pierce Brosnan as Túrin. "My name is Turambar, Túrin Turambar."
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07-10-2008, 05:24 AM | #69 | |
Shady She-Penguin
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Continuing on the same lines, I can see Hugh Grant as Brandir... eurgh... He's too old to play anything too heroic and in my opinion he has always been too soft for those, but can't you all see him blinking his puppy eyes as gentle Brandir who loves the wrong woman... *is disgusted*
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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07-11-2008, 10:15 PM | #70 |
Scion of The Faithful
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Aulë - Bob the Builder
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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07-13-2008, 03:22 PM | #71 |
Fading Fëanorion
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What about Seann William Scott as Tuor and Diane Kruger as Idril? That should be close enough to a worst case scenario.
Oh, and Nerwen... she who steals the threads of the Noldor and mocks them without leave does not... umm... well, I’ll think about something. |
07-14-2008, 06:20 AM | #72 |
Wisest of the Noldor
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What are you talking about, cousin Mac? By definition this is a thread of the Noldor!
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"Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo. |
07-14-2008, 07:12 AM | #73 |
Fading Fëanorion
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I think I'll let you get away with it - this time.
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07-14-2008, 04:10 PM | #74 |
Flame Imperishable
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It shendsh shuddersh down your shpine, doesh it?
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Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place
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07-15-2008, 01:40 PM | #75 | ||
Drummer in the Deep
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07-15-2008, 01:55 PM | #76 | |
Flame Imperishable
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Quote:
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Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place
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07-16-2008, 03:23 AM | #77 |
Delver in the Deep
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Ben Stiller as Manwë. That way, instead of the War of Wrath, he could just give Morgoth a blast of "blue steel".
Lucy Lawless (Xena) as Melian.
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07-16-2008, 10:58 AM | #78 |
Shady She-Penguin
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Wouldn't Haleth be even worse?
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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07-17-2008, 02:45 PM | #79 |
Spectre of Capitalism
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Gotta be a part for Joaquin Phoenix in there somewhere...
Also, in my opinion worse than Connery, Gilbert Gottfried has got to be the very worst possible voice for a mega-dragon. (For those that don't know, the voice is that of the parrot Iago in the Disney-animated Aladdin movies, among many other voice credits.)
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11-17-2008, 07:16 PM | #80 | |
Drummer in the Deep
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
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