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04-21-2006, 06:15 AM | #10441 |
Everlasting Whiteness
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Billy/Dom/Sean: Aaaaaaaaaargh!
Elijah: Um . . . line?
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If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. |
04-21-2006, 09:21 AM | #10442 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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When Sam said he'd kill for a lettuce, he meant it.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
04-21-2006, 11:30 AM | #10443 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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PJ: "Okay, now all four of you look right. Elijah, look right. Head up a bit more. Hello? Elijah! *exasperated sigh* Has he been smoking again?"
OR The smash hit horror flick Hobbits of the Corn. (Children of the Corn)
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
04-21-2006, 02:19 PM | #10444 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Survivor: Hobbiton
Merry & Pippin (from the Pranksters Tribe) distract Sam (from the Gullible Tribe) so they can steal their dinner while Frodo (from the Clueless Tribe) stares on...
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04-21-2006, 04:10 PM | #10445 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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The Hobbits had been making a new crop circle to confuse the locals when Merry spotted someone coming. "Quick, here comes Mel Gibson! He'll be getting his daughter to chuck glasses of water over us! Run!"
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Gordon's alive!
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04-21-2006, 04:51 PM | #10446 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Loudspeaker coming from Maggots Manufacturing Plant: "ALERT!!! We are missing a massive timebomb cleverly disguised as a head of lettuce! The bomb is set to go off in five seconds..."
Hobbits: |
04-22-2006, 01:04 AM | #10447 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Sam: Wow! A Four Leafed Clover!
Merry: Yeah, thats really good... *pick pockets Sam*
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
04-22-2006, 02:01 AM | #10448 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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Who???????????
Merry: Quick! run it's Farmer Maggot.
Sam: Give over, next you'll be telling us you've seen Tom Bombadil and Glorfindel Frodo thinks: I wonder if dogs can find me if I put on the Ring to escape, but who will carry the heavy stuff if I leave Sam behind.
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
04-22-2006, 02:29 AM | #10449 | |
Dead Serious
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Quote:
Frodo: "Does this mean that we can't eat it..."
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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04-22-2006, 05:56 AM | #10450 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Frodo was unfortunately standing in the breeze, and caught a whiff of Farmer Maggot's manure pile.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
04-22-2006, 07:56 AM | #10451 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Frodo: For Eru's sake! It's a scare"crow" not a scare"hobbit"!
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilps, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
04-23-2006, 07:50 AM | #10452 |
Wight
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Green Hill Country
Posts: 196
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It's an Entling
"SOOOOORRRYYY, Treebeard! We didn't know it was your son! We'll find something else for dinner!"
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Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends. |
04-23-2006, 07:53 AM | #10453 |
Wight
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Green Hill Country
Posts: 196
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Nice Surname
"Your name is Maggot? And you want us to have dinner with you?!?!? Sorry, even a Hobbit has to draw the line somewhere."
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Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends. |
04-23-2006, 07:59 AM | #10454 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Frodo: Oh no!
Merry: What is it? Frodo: A new picture... Frodo and Sam fell asleep waiting for Bilbo to remember where he put his boat ticket. OR Gandalf: Hurry up, lads, this horse just ate my hat!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
04-23-2006, 08:01 AM | #10455 |
Regal Dwarven Shade
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,589
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One thing Frodo was not going to miss was the Hobbit ritual head-bonking ceremony of farewell.
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...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no... |
04-23-2006, 09:36 AM | #10456 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,636
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The three hobbits get together to make their plans of revenge on that nasty blighter of a gull that took Sam's churro.
or Frodo: Sam remember that you are married to Rosie now, and on top of that I don't really think Galadriel ever had a crush on you.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke |
04-23-2006, 10:10 AM | #10457 |
Illustrious Ulair
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties
Posts: 4,240
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Frodo: 'Don't be too sad, Sam! I know it was good for your roses, but Gandalf can't leave Shadowfax here.
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04-23-2006, 10:51 AM | #10458 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Cirdan's apprentice had been set the task of standing at the end of the quay and reciting a suitable verse to see the travellers off. It began well at least...
"I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky, I left my vest and pants down there, I wonder if they're dry?"
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Gordon's alive!
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04-23-2006, 11:01 AM | #10459 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Frodo: How many times do I have to tell you, Sam? Hair gel in the left cabinet, glue in the right!
Sam: Sorry Mr Frodo. OR Gandalf: So I said to him, You cannot pass. I am a servant of the secret fire! Wielder of the flame of... Frodo and Sam: *Snore* Gandalf: Damn Hobbits. Or even... Merry: Should I tell Frodo he still owes me Five Pounds?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 04-23-2006 at 11:04 AM. |
04-23-2006, 11:05 AM | #10460 |
Illustrious Ulair
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties
Posts: 4,240
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One of the things Gildor looked forward to on reaching the Undying Lands was being able to eat a bag of chips without getting mobbed by sea-gulls....
Elrond: 'In this at least he will know a lightening of his heart in Valinor. The Long Defeat we have all fought has been hardest on Gildor. He has never been able to eat his chips on the long grey shores of Middle-earth without being harrassed in this way.' Galadriel: 'Nay Elrond! Though I had not the heart to tell him of them, the gulls of Ulmo at the havens of Alqualonde are thrice as vicious as their kindred here in Endor.' Elrond: 'Then it would seem, Lady of the Galadhrim, that mayhap Feanor's rash vow pursues the Noldor still, even in the Land of the Valar. Alas! Galadriel: 'Even so!' (Exeunt sadly.....) |
04-23-2006, 11:12 AM | #10461 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Frodo tries to console Sam, who is in floods of disappointed tears after the ship draws up to the quay. He was expecting it to be crewed by kittens in Viking helmets, singing Led Zeppelin.
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Gordon's alive!
Last edited by Lalwendė; 04-23-2006 at 11:15 AM. |
04-23-2006, 11:14 AM | #10462 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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Bilbo's Last Pub-crawl
I sit beside the ship and think
Of toilets I have seen Of pints of beer and french-fries And on those toilets I should have been. Of a headache pill and a Hangover The illness that will come Of sea-sickness and rolling seas And a head that feels so numb.
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
04-23-2006, 11:16 AM | #10463 |
Illustrious Ulair
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties
Posts: 4,240
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Merry: 'I know Pippin - but he's getting on a bit. If he wants to take his own beer & toilet facilities with him they'll just have to humour him.''
EDIT: cross-posted with Narfforc |
04-23-2006, 11:41 AM | #10464 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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I'm stuck on you
Merry to Pippin: He-he-he, I told you Sam wouldn't see you with that SuperGlue.
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
04-23-2006, 03:02 PM | #10465 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,636
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In this alternate ending Tolkien had scripted Pippin to take up becoming a Catholic Priest.
(look at the collar)
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke |
04-23-2006, 06:44 PM | #10466 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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While Frodo and Sam were getting to ride up on the deck for the trip, it appears that Bilbo, Pippin, and Merry are going to be stowed away with the cargo.
OR No one notices the invisible man as he starts to pull up the back of Cirdan's cloak. OR Frodo: "When I said I wanted to go camping, this was not what I had in mind..."
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
04-23-2006, 07:12 PM | #10467 |
Shade of Carn Dūm
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(Elf In Back With Pot): Hey Cirdan, there's no way these guys are gonna get in to Valinor. Two Hobbits, another on the way, A wizard who should be dead, and That Galadriel chick who was exiled-Manwe's gonna go nuts. However, I have made some home-made chili from an old Teleri family recipie! That will convince him!
________ JUAN MANUEL FANGIO Last edited by Elu Ancalime; 03-03-2011 at 11:55 PM. |
04-23-2006, 07:44 PM | #10468 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,125
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Alas, too long they took in farewell, for even now the elves begin to cast off...
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
04-24-2006, 05:20 AM | #10469 |
Wight
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Green Hill Country
Posts: 196
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Two Ways to Tell
"Look, Bilbo, it's easy to tell Gandalf and Galadriel apart . . . even though Gandalf has a pocketbook. He's the one with the beard! OK?"
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Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends. |
04-24-2006, 08:31 AM | #10470 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Sam consoles Frodo* after getting his hair shaved at Cirdan's Cut & Curl (by "request" of Galadriel, of course ).
Galadriel: "All right, which of you hobbits is next?" *Or vise versa, not quite sure who's who in the pic... |
04-24-2006, 09:43 AM | #10471 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Sam: Well, there are just a few things to sort our before you go. Gandalf owes me quite a lot of mon-
Gandalf: Erm, well, my work here is done... *Vanishes* OR Cirdan: How many times do I have to tell you? You can't bring your house on the boat, Galadriel!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
04-24-2006, 10:50 AM | #10472 |
Illustrious Ulair
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties
Posts: 4,240
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Sam: 'Do you think it'd be ok to move yet Mr Frodo. only my arms gone to sleep.'
Frodo: 'Sorry Sam, I did tell Gandalf to get Alan Lee to do the 'Farewell Portrait', but he insisted on Naismith. Merry: 'I wanted John Howe - he was going to paint me being attacked by a Nazgul.' Pippin: 'But they're all... Merry: 'Its called artistic licence, Pip!' Pippin: 'Ooh - can I get one? I want to do a Mural for the back bedroom!' Elrond: 'I hope he doesn't paint my creased cloak - Arwen forgot to iron it. I hope that son-in law of mine takes her in hand.' Or Galadriel: 'At least I managed to shake off Celeborn - I've just read Boorman's script & Frodo is looking pretty hot....' OR Gandalf always insisted on fresh meat on long journeys. Shadowfax would never see the Undying Lands... |
04-24-2006, 04:16 PM | #10473 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 3,448
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Gandalf suddenly relized he had to go...really really bad
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Morsul the Resurrected |
04-24-2006, 04:36 PM | #10474 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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The Polar Express...Middle Earth style.
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04-24-2006, 04:43 PM | #10475 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Everyone stood there feeling embarrassed and not knowing what to say as Frodo and Sam came to blows over who was going to steer the new pedalo on the boating lake.
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Gordon's alive!
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04-24-2006, 05:43 PM | #10476 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Galadriel: Psst... Gandalf, what are they doing? Is this some hobbit parting ritual...?
Gandalf: Pfff! Like I should know! Pulls out hand-crafted hobbit pipe and begins smoking... ~ Aesthete
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Vinur, vinur skilur tś meg? Veitst tś ongan loyniveg? Hevur tś reikaš lķka sum eg, ķ endaleysu tokuni? |
04-24-2006, 06:11 PM | #10477 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,297
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The Homecoming of Sam
Frodo: Don't be sad Sam, this is not so bad, wait until you get home and find out why your kids look like Ted Sandyman.
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[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
04-24-2006, 11:43 PM | #10478 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf: Come on, we better get back to Valinor soon! I think I left the iron on when I left!
OR Gandalf: Hay, Galadriel, you should see my house in Valinor, its full of Tolkien posters! Or yet! Gandalf: Hay, Galadriel, you should see my house in Valinor, its full of Geese.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
04-25-2006, 04:10 AM | #10479 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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Surgery.
Gandalf decides to bring the Hobbit head-conjoined twins to Valinor Hospital to have them separated.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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04-25-2006, 05:23 AM | #10480 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Gandalf: Bilbo, I thought you said we had to be here for the 21st.
Bilbo: Yes... Gandalf: So why are they still building the darn boat? Elves on boat: *splosh paint* Elrond: Hurry up, I'm getting cold! Bilbo: *checks ticket* Oh, it's the 27th! Will you look at that... Gandalf/Elrond: *grooaaan* Hobbits: zzzzz....
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
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