Crazy Captions - Page 316 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Holbytlass · 06-13-2007, 06:18 AM

Chef Frodo's Hell's Kitchen:

You donkey! I said I wanted al dente Spagetti O's!

Lalwendë · 06-14-2007, 04:31 AM

Frodo Sugar: "You mean you wasted my investment of 500 groats on this toot? Celebrimbor, you're fired!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-14-2007, 04:37 AM

For hours, Frodo had been trying to melt ants with the magnifying glass, only to be told by Sam that the 'glass' bit had been removed.

Elmo · 06-20-2007, 01:36 PM

Aha! So you weren't please to see me, it really was a ring in your pocket.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-21-2007, 05:55 AM

It was only seconds later that Frodo realised that Smeagol had swapped the Ring for a hula-hoop.

The Only Real Estel · 06-21-2007, 08:28 AM

Frodo: "It was Professor Plum, in the Kitchen...with the lead pipe!"

Sam: "Uh, that's not a lead pipe."

Frodo: "I know. Gollum bent it when he lost the last game so we recycled it."

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-29-2007, 10:17 AM

Frodo is so ocupied by the Ring that he dosen't notice the fly on his head.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 06-29-2007, 10:46 AM

It was in that moment Frodo realised the second and less known way to destroy the one ring! Squishing it between two fingers.

The Elf-warrior · 06-29-2007, 06:07 PM

Frodo: "Yes, Sam, this Ring is the keystone of my evil plan, which I don't mind explaining to you since you will die anyway. Gollum, show him the first slide."

Beren: "I have a bad feeling about this!"
"
Luthien: "Chin up, Beren! Dark lord fortresses always have a weakness or two somewhere."

Rune Son of Bjarne · 06-29-2007, 06:17 PM

A little known tale of Beren and Luthien is that on their way to Angban they got into a fierce argument about whether or not Luthien looked fat as a bat.

Bêthberry · 06-29-2007, 07:43 PM

davem and Lalwende try on their new costumes for this year's Oxenmoot.

THE Ka · 06-29-2007, 08:44 PM

Luthien: Don't loose heart! I can see the dark fortress already!

Beren: Not to be of disappointment, but how can you actually see where you're going?

Luthien: ...You mean to say I'm blind as a bat? Well that's rather bland, y'know...

~ Just nature Ka

The Sixth Wizard · 06-30-2007, 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

A little known tale of Beren and Luthien is that on their way to Angban they got into a fierce argument about whether or not Luthien looked fat as a bat.

Does my tail look big in this?

mormegil · 06-30-2007, 04:41 PM

Luthien had no idea what a chauvinist Beren was until he transformed into a wolf and began marking his property....chase ensued.

Lalwendë · 07-01-2007, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

davem and Lalwende try on their new costumes for this year's Oxenmoot.

Who's the dog?

***

Across the fair meads of an Oxford college lawn fled the frightened, costumed Oxonmooters as accountants from Southampton and woodwork teachers from Wrexham donned foot merkins and began to dance the Springle Ring...

Oddwen · 07-01-2007, 08:00 AM

In the future, WW games will still take place - though because of time restraints and lack of original plots, there will be only two people playing.

SPM: Wait...you're the WereBat??

tp: What, we're both Gifteds? Modperson!!!!!

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-01-2007, 08:04 AM

It wasn't for another twelve minutes that Luthien would realise that it wasn't Beren she was trying to give a hug to, but an ordinary wolf.

OR

Luthien: I swear! The fish was THIS big!

Baeren: Pfft. Yeah, whatever you say.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 07-01-2007, 08:08 AM

Luthien: What do you mean "this is not how a vampire is supposed to look" ?

Lalwendë · 07-01-2007, 09:09 AM

Luthien: "Call me a daft old bat again if you dare! Dogbreath!"

Brinniel · 07-01-2007, 04:10 PM

Beren and Luthien did not realise glowing blue eye sockets would be a side effect of the transformation until too late...

Gil-Galad · 07-01-2007, 08:46 PM

Luthien: We are going to miss the Transformers opening! i told you we should have asked directions when we were in Tol-In-Guaroth...

Beren: ...

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-02-2007, 01:26 AM

It was only a few minutes later that Beren realised that the only reason Luthien followed him into deepest peril was that he had a piece of delicious cheese stuck to his leg.

OR

Beren and Luthien demand a refund for their make-over.

Legate of Amon Lanc · 07-02-2007, 01:27 AM

In the Lay of Leithian there was no mention that Beren and Lúthien read too often Franz Kafka.

Lalwendë · 07-02-2007, 05:19 AM

Luthien angrily chases Beren out of the local park after noticing he did not 'scoop'.

Elmo · 07-02-2007, 06:19 AM

"When you said you wanted to dress up Luthien, this isn't what I had in mind!"

Lalwendë · 07-02-2007, 08:51 AM

Luthien: "You might be wearing a wolf-hame but it does not give you any excuse to cock your leg on my prize hemlocks!"

Valesse · 07-03-2007, 01:45 AM

Luthien: You remembered to turn off the oven, didn't you? And the stove, right? You checked the stove..? What about the coffee maker? Hm? The water heater? I seriously hope you didn't leave that running somehow... OH! The toaster! Eru there'll be nothing left!!
Beren: ...I want you to stop talking until you realize exactly what you look like.

OR

And somewhere far in the distance "Eye of the Tiger" was starting to play...

Lalwendë · 07-03-2007, 02:50 AM

Secrets of Middle-earth #765

Christopher Tolkien didn't decipher his dad's handwriting correctly. He thought he was writing about the fea. In fact he was writing about the terrible infestation of fleas that Beren and Luthien carried across Beleriand.

Oddwen · 07-03-2007, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tra-la-la Lally

Luthien: "You might be wearing a wolf-hame...

Luthien: Wolf hame? More like wolf lame!

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-04-2007, 06:02 AM

Middle Earth's first Crime Fighting Duo!

The Only Real Estel · 07-06-2007, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

A little known tale of Beren and Luthien is that on their way to Angban they got into a fierce argument about whether or not Luthien looked fat as a bat.

Luthien: "Yes I do look fat!"

Beren: "No you don't - you don't even have a shadow!"

Kath · 07-06-2007, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Luthien: "Yes I do look fat!"

Beren: "No you don't - you don't even have a shadow!"

Luthien: "Oh, so now you're saying I'm too thin?!"

Beren: Wha-?

Lalwendë · 07-06-2007, 01:53 PM

Instead of playing that old favourite childhood game of "Dinner dinner dinner dinner, dinner dinner dinner dinner, Batman!" Beren and Luthien decided to play "Dinner supper luncheon brekkie, dinner supper luncheon brekkie, Batelf!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-08-2007, 03:22 PM

Beren: Look, if we just turn left up here, I'm sure Angband is just over the next ridge!

Luthien: Oh for goodness sake! Let's have a new picture!

Tolkien: "In a tower block in London there lived a Hobbit." What do you think?

Edith: Erm... Do you think 'In a hole in the ground' would be better?

OR

Tolkien: What are you doing in my house?

Oddwen · 07-08-2007, 07:08 PM

Professor: You wish to caption me? Well, I am flattered, but isn't your time better spent doing something more constructive?

Rune Son of Bjarne · 07-08-2007, 11:28 PM

Tolkien's thoughts as this photo was taken just after LotR was released: If I pretend to care about this rubbish then maybe somebody will buy it. . .

Brinniel · 07-09-2007, 01:08 AM

Tolkien never did like the paparazzi...

Tolkien: Come any closer and I'll stab you with this pen!

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-09-2007, 01:41 AM

The Professor quickly checks around the room before slipping to the bookcase and pulling the special book that opens the gateway to his secret pipe weed store.

Lalwendë · 07-09-2007, 02:15 AM

Would you dare to tell this man that the dog ate your homework?

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-09-2007, 02:16 AM

Would you dare to tell this man that the Balrog ate your homework?

06-13-2007, 06:18 AM	#12601
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Chef Frodo's Hell's Kitchen: You donkey! I said I wanted al dente Spagetti O's! __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

06-14-2007, 04:31 AM	#12602
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Frodo Sugar: "You mean you wasted my investment of 500 groats on this toot? Celebrimbor, you're fired!" __________________ Gordon's alive!

06-14-2007, 04:37 AM	#12603
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	For hours, Frodo had been trying to melt ants with the magnifying glass, only to be told by Sam that the 'glass' bit had been removed. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-20-2007, 01:36 PM	#12604
Elmo Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again Posts: 633	Aha! So you weren't please to see me, it really was a ring in your pocket. __________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.

06-21-2007, 05:55 AM	#12605
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	It was only seconds later that Frodo realised that Smeagol had swapped the Ring for a hula-hoop. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-21-2007, 08:28 AM	#12606
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	shameless recycling plug ;-) Frodo: "It was Professor Plum, in the Kitchen...with the lead pipe!" Sam: "Uh, that's not a lead pipe." Frodo: "I know. Gollum bent it when he lost the last game so we recycled it."

06-29-2007, 10:17 AM	#12607
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Frodo is so ocupied by the Ring that he dosen't notice the fly on his head. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-29-2007, 06:07 PM	#12609
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Frodo: "Yes, Sam, this Ring is the keystone of my evil plan, which I don't mind explaining to you since you will die anyway. Gollum, show him the first slide." Beren: "I have a bad feeling about this!" " Luthien: "Chin up, Beren! Dark lord fortresses always have a weakness or two somewhere." __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

06-29-2007, 07:43 PM	#12611
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,979	davem and Lalwende try on their new costumes for this year's Oxenmoot. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

06-29-2007, 08:44 PM	#12612
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	Luthien: Don't loose heart! I can see the dark fortress already! Beren: Not to be of disappointment, but how can you actually see where you're going? Luthien: ...You mean to say I'm blind as a bat? Well that's rather bland, y'know... ~ Just nature Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

06-30-2007, 04:41 PM	#12614
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,637	Luthien had no idea what a chauvinist Beren was until he transformed into a wolf and began marking his property....chase ensued. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

07-01-2007, 08:00 AM	#12616
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,126	In the future, WW games will still take place - though because of time restraints and lack of original plots, there will be only two people playing. SPM: Wait...you're the WereBat?? tp: What, we're both Gifteds? Modperson!!!!! __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

07-01-2007, 08:04 AM	#12617
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	It wasn't for another twelve minutes that Luthien would realise that it wasn't Beren she was trying to give a hug to, but an ordinary wolf. OR Luthien: I swear! The fish was THIS big! Baeren: Pfft. Yeah, whatever you say. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-01-2007, 09:09 AM	#12619
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Luthien: "Call me a daft old bat again if you dare! Dogbreath!" __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-01-2007, 04:10 PM	#12620
Brinniel Reflection of Darkness Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull. Posts: 2,983	Beren and Luthien did not realise glowing blue eye sockets would be a side effect of the transformation until too late... __________________ Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

07-01-2007, 08:46 PM	#12621
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,733	Luthien: We are going to miss the Transformers opening! i told you we should have asked directions when we were in Tol-In-Guaroth... Beren: ... __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

07-02-2007, 01:26 AM	#12622
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	It was only a few minutes later that Beren realised that the only reason Luthien followed him into deepest peril was that he had a piece of delicious cheese stuck to his leg. OR Beren and Luthien demand a refund for their make-over. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-02-2007, 01:27 AM	#12623
Legate of Amon Lanc A Voice That Gainsayeth Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In that far land beyond the Sea Posts: 7,431	In the Lay of Leithian there was no mention that Beren and Lúthien read too often Franz Kafka. __________________ "Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories

07-02-2007, 05:19 AM	#12624
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Luthien angrily chases Beren out of the local park after noticing he did not 'scoop'. __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-02-2007, 06:19 AM	#12625
Elmo Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again Posts: 633	"When you said you wanted to dress up Luthien, this isn't what I had in mind!" __________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.

07-02-2007, 08:51 AM	#12626
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Luthien: "You might be wearing a wolf-hame but it does not give you any excuse to cock your leg on my prize hemlocks!" __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-03-2007, 01:45 AM	#12627
Valesse Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: \|Away Posts: 614	Luthien: You remembered to turn off the oven, didn't you? And the stove, right? You checked the stove..? What about the coffee maker? Hm? The water heater? I seriously hope you didn't leave that running somehow... OH! The toaster! Eru there'll be nothing left!! Beren: ...I want you to stop talking until you realize exactly what you look like. OR And somewhere far in the distance "Eye of the Tiger" was starting to play... __________________ "Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos

07-03-2007, 02:50 AM	#12628
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Secrets of Middle-earth #765 Christopher Tolkien didn't decipher his dad's handwriting correctly. He thought he was writing about the fea. In fact he was writing about the terrible infestation of fleas that Beren and Luthien carried across Beleriand. __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-04-2007, 06:02 AM	#12630
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Middle Earth's first Crime Fighting Duo! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-06-2007, 01:53 PM	#12633
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Instead of playing that old favourite childhood game of "Dinner dinner dinner dinner, dinner dinner dinner dinner, Batman!" Beren and Luthien decided to play "Dinner supper luncheon brekkie, dinner supper luncheon brekkie, Batelf!" __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-08-2007, 03:22 PM	#12634
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Beren: Look, if we just turn left up here, I'm sure Angband is just over the next ridge! Luthien: Oh for goodness sake! Let's have a new picture! Tolkien: "In a tower block in London there lived a Hobbit." What do you think? Edith: Erm... Do you think 'In a hole in the ground' would be better? OR Tolkien: What are you doing in my house? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-08-2007, 07:08 PM	#12635
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,126	Professor: You wish to caption me? Well, I am flattered, but isn't your time better spent doing something more constructive? __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

07-09-2007, 01:08 AM	#12637
Brinniel Reflection of Darkness Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull. Posts: 2,983	Tolkien never did like the paparazzi... Tolkien: Come any closer and I'll stab you with this pen! __________________ Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

07-09-2007, 01:41 AM	#12638
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	The Professor quickly checks around the room before slipping to the bookcase and pulling the special book that opens the gateway to his secret pipe weed store. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-09-2007, 02:15 AM	#12639
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Would you dare to tell this man that the dog ate your homework? __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-09-2007, 02:16 AM	#12640
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Would you dare to tell this man that the Balrog ate your homework? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...