Crazy Captions - Page 285 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Gurthang · 08-14-2006, 05:20 PM

Little orc: "Oh, yeah! Well can you do this!" *opens and closes nostrils*

The Only Real Estel · 08-14-2006, 07:47 PM

Middle Earth's version of The Bachelorette...

Female Orc*: "Hmmm, you're not too bad..."

*No discussion on this topic please

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-16-2006, 07:11 AM

Orc: This mirror isn't working very well.

The Only Real Estel · 08-16-2006, 07:18 AM

Middle Earth's version of American Idol

Simon Cowell: "You call that talent? My cat sounds better when it's hacking furballs!"

Lalwendë · 08-16-2006, 04:32 PM

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie compare the results of their cut-price trip to the Scunthorpe botox clinic.

Gil-Galad · 08-16-2006, 09:30 PM

Orc: i never wanted to help make Uruks... i always wanted to be a Lumberjack!

Brinniel · 08-17-2006, 12:29 AM

Orc: Wait a minute, something's not right..... Did you take a bath?

Orc 2: Ummmm......

Orc: You know the rules! 1) no jewelry 2) no whining 3) NO BATHING.....

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-17-2006, 09:08 AM

This Orc is simply baffled at how long it's been since an uncloaking joke!

Holbytlass · 08-18-2006, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gurthang

Little orc: "Oh, yeah! Well can you do this!" *opens and closes nostrils*

big orc: No, but I can do this.*licks own eye*

Lalwendë · 08-18-2006, 09:57 AM

Secrets of Middle-earth part 32.

Here we see proof that Orcs are just peeled Elves.

mormegil · 08-18-2006, 10:03 AM

Orc: And don't you be using that dry British wit on me!

Uruk: Oh I wouldn't dream of it.

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-18-2006, 10:09 AM

The Orc stares intently at the new picture...

The Shelob's lair tourist department sent out their best mime to meet Sam.

OR

The Sam Gamgee waxwork model needed a little adjusting before the public could see it.

mormegil · 08-18-2006, 10:14 AM

PJ: Then after I told Charlie Sheen he wasn't going to be Frodo he wanted to get into a fist fight so I said okay let's dance.

or

PJ: Okay to win this tug-o-war I will be the anchor and I will have stage hand# 5 tape your wrists so as to strenghten them up a bit.

Boromir88 · 08-18-2006, 10:56 AM

Sam: (thinks) Oh where I want to shove this Light of Earendil right now.

THE Ka · 08-18-2006, 12:40 PM

PJ could demonstrate all he wanted, he wasn't selling his new Shelob-Aid Exercise Routine to Sam...

~ Ka

Lalwendë · 08-18-2006, 12:41 PM

PJ: "Just pump your arms like...this...a few times a day and you'll end up with a decent bust. See."

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-18-2006, 12:45 PM

PJ: Row, Row, row your boat, gently down the stream...

OR

PJ tries to war Sam about the new gang of vicious pickpockets.

Valesse · 08-18-2006, 02:46 PM

PJ: Now that Boromir has been killed off, think I can be Disco King?

OR

Samwises Gamgee made the wrong turn in Cirith Ungol, and some how managed to wander into a Tae Bo lesson.

Gil-Galad · 08-18-2006, 02:56 PM

PJ: no no no! its side-step, side-step pivot, left, right, left, pivot, do you want to make the Volcano God mad!

mormegil · 08-18-2006, 03:13 PM

Sam: I came all the way to the top of the mountain in search of the guru of knowlege and I get this?

High King Fingolfin · 08-18-2006, 05:06 PM

Sam: Sorry, but I don't really share your enthusiasm for calisthenics.

The Only Real Estel · 08-18-2006, 06:35 PM

Peter Jackson was not heavily favored to make it to the Finals of Middle Earth's Dancing With the Stars...

The Elf-warrior · 08-18-2006, 08:52 PM

PJ: "And if boxing doesn't work bite off his ear like Mike Tyson did."

Maeggaladiel · 08-18-2006, 11:42 PM

A scene from the film Crouching Hobbit, Hidden Director.

OR

PJ: Check out this sweet new cloak of invisibility I've got in my hands.

OR

Peter Jackson demonstrates the choreography for the now-famous "Hokey Pokey Scene" of The Return of the Disco King.

narfforc · 08-19-2006, 12:20 AM

Right Sam this is the awkward bit, when you put on the ring you will become invisible, so I am going to have to show you how this invisible bow works, oh and by the way I've changed this bit of the story also, the ring turns you ivisible but not your clothes, how are you at uncloaking really fast?............

Gandalf_the _white · 08-19-2006, 12:45 PM

PJ:Right this is your bow... wait a minute, wheres it gone???
(Tolkien pureists sneaking off the side):hahahaha we will stop you ruining LOTR!!!! Sam had no bow!!!
PJ:

I'm the director here!!!

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-19-2006, 01:07 PM

PJ: ... so then I took him by the arm and said, "you'd better get back here you" and then-

Guy: Erm, Peter, you've been talking for 5 hours now... and I cant' find Sean's pulse.

The Only Real Estel · 08-20-2006, 11:19 PM

PJ: "Maybe if we built this giant wooden badger..."

Brinniel · 08-21-2006, 01:24 AM

Peter Jackson (on his encounter with the weta): ....so I grabbed that bug off my leg and shook him real hard. And then I said to him, "Crawl up my shorts again and I'll be sure to squish you and your entire family!" And then-

Sam: Enough with the story, Pete. Dom already told me you screamed like a little girl.

Crew member: Not only screamed- he also ran away like one too...

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-21-2006, 03:15 AM

PJ: Yeah, I needed both hands to carry all of those complaints letter after what I did to Tom Bombadill. Just wait until they see Shelob's dance routine.

Sam:

OR

PJ: I've got a shiny sixpence for the clever chap who can tell me which hand it's in.

Lalwendë · 08-21-2006, 06:15 AM

Just as PJ is about to step into action he notices Sam's not playing.

PJ: "What's up with you? If you accuse me of tampering with the ball again, I'm going back to the pavilion!"

Rune Son of Bjarne · 08-21-2006, 06:22 AM

PJ tells about a prank he just made with Cate Blanchett

PJ:. . . and then I pulled her pants, like this. . . .

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-21-2006, 06:44 AM

PJ demonstrates how he wil operate the giant Shelob robot.

Boromir88 · 08-21-2006, 07:18 AM

PJ: Ok, Round 4 now, you're not doing bad, just hang in there. Stay fast and stay alert for that stinger...jab and move, quick, jab and move.

narfforc · 08-21-2006, 08:57 AM

PJ tells of his forays in the square ring, when as a youth he was slightly slimmer and a bit fitter

PJ: I went to the centre of the ring and threw a left then a right, followed by a swift uppercut. Then this other bloke got in the ring and I thought, what the hell does he want. Well he hit me so hard I had to pay to get back in. My manager pushed me back into the ring, and this other bloke hit me again, well that made me so angry I lost my temper along with my two front teeth and a pint of blood, I proceeded to hit his fist as hard as could with my face, and at the end I was so glad I did'nt have to walk back to the dressing room.

Sean: What was your record?

PJ: Ten fights, lost two, chickened out of eight.

Lalwendë · 08-21-2006, 11:24 AM

PJ: "Look, the studio has decided they want a bigger audience for this film, so we're aiming for a U certificate. Rather than all this stabbing and violence, we thought we'd have a nice, domesticated spider, and this will be The Farm of Cirith Ungol. You'll be milking Shelob instead. Like this. Whaddya reckon?"

The Only Real Estel · 08-21-2006, 07:05 PM

PJ: "I think it'd be cool if we went kind've Jackie Chan with this spider-battling scene, maybe strike one of his poses - something like this? In fact, it probably wouldn't hurt you to throw in a bit of a Chinese accent - if you think you can."

Sean: "You're a nut."

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-22-2006, 01:16 AM

PJ: Have you seen the NEWs?

Barrow Wight: Please help me! I need a shave!

Frodo:

OR

B-W: Psst! Want some cheap DVDs?

OR yet!

Frodo: Sorry, Lobelia! You still can't have Bag End! I don't care if you've gone on a shaving strike.

Kitanna · 08-22-2006, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

B-W: Psst! Want some cheap DVDs?

BW: Or maybe a Rolex?

or

BW: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees!

mormegil · 08-22-2006, 06:47 AM

B-W: Listen to me little boy! I do not want to buy a magazine subscription to help out your school, now go away!

08-14-2006, 05:20 PM	#11361
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,507	Little orc: "Oh, yeah! Well can you do this!" opens and closes nostrils __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

08-16-2006, 07:11 AM	#11363
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Orc: This mirror isn't working very well. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

08-16-2006, 04:32 PM	#11365
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie compare the results of their cut-price trip to the Scunthorpe botox clinic. __________________ Gordon's alive!

08-16-2006, 09:30 PM	#11366
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 5,054	Orc: i never wanted to help make Uruks... i always wanted to be a Lumberjack! __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

08-17-2006, 12:29 AM	#11367
Brinniel Reflection of Darkness Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull. Posts: 3,027	Orc: Wait a minute, something's not right..... Did you take a bath? Orc 2: Ummmm...... Orc: You know the rules! 1) no jewelry 2) no whining 3) NO BATHING..... __________________ Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

08-14-2006, 07:47 PM	#11362
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	*Middle Earth's version of The Bachelorette...* Female Orc: "Hmmm, you're not too* bad..." *No discussion on this topic please

08-16-2006, 07:18 AM	#11364
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Middle Earth's version of American Idol Simon Cowell: "You call that talent? My cat sounds better when it's hacking furballs!"

08-17-2006, 09:08 AM	#11368
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	This Orc is simply baffled at how long it's been since an uncloaking joke! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

08-18-2006, 09:57 AM	#11370
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	Secrets of Middle-earth part 32. Here we see proof that Orcs are just peeled Elves. __________________ Gordon's alive!

08-18-2006, 10:03 AM	#11371
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	Orc: And don't you be using that dry British wit on me! Uruk: Oh I wouldn't dream of it. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

08-18-2006, 10:09 AM	#11372
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	The Orc stares intently at the new picture... The Shelob's lair tourist department sent out their best mime to meet Sam. OR The Sam Gamgee waxwork model needed a little adjusting before the public could see it. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

08-18-2006, 10:14 AM	#11373
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	PJ: Then after I told Charlie Sheen he wasn't going to be Frodo he wanted to get into a fist fight so I said okay let's dance. or PJ: Okay to win this tug-o-war I will be the anchor and I will have stage hand# 5 tape your wrists so as to strenghten them up a bit. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

08-18-2006, 10:56 AM	#11374
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,559	Sam: (thinks) Oh where I want to shove this Light of Earendil right now. __________________ Fenris Penguin

08-18-2006, 12:40 PM	#11375
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,612	PJ could demonstrate all he wanted, he wasn't selling his new Shelob-Aid Exercise Routine to Sam... ~ Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

08-18-2006, 12:41 PM	#11376
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	PJ: "Just pump your arms like...this...a few times a day and you'll end up with a decent bust. See." __________________ Gordon's alive!

08-18-2006, 12:45 PM	#11377
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	PJ: Row, Row, row your boat, gently down the stream... OR PJ tries to war Sam about the new gang of vicious pickpockets. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

08-18-2006, 02:46 PM	#11378
Valesse Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: \|Away Posts: 654	PJ: Now that Boromir has been killed off, think I can be Disco King? OR Samwises Gamgee made the wrong turn in Cirith Ungol, and some how managed to wander into a Tae Bo lesson. __________________ "Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos

08-18-2006, 02:56 PM	#11379
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 5,054	PJ: no no no! its side-step, side-step pivot, left, right, left, pivot, do you want to make the Volcano God mad! __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

08-18-2006, 03:13 PM	#11380
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	Sam: I came all the way to the top of the mountain in search of the guru of knowlege and I get this? __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

08-18-2006, 05:06 PM	#11381
High King Fingolfin Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Where the Wargs thrive, a.k.a. Madison, WI Posts: 439	Sam: Sorry, but I don't really share your enthusiasm for calisthenics. __________________ "Outside of a Warg, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a Warg, it's too dark to read." - Wargo Marx

08-18-2006, 06:35 PM	#11382
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Peter Jackson was not heavily favored to make it to the Finals of Middle Earth's Dancing With the Stars...

08-18-2006, 08:52 PM	#11383
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	PJ: "And if boxing doesn't work bite off his ear like Mike Tyson did." __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

08-18-2006, 11:42 PM	#11384
Maeggaladiel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally. Posts: 512	A scene from the film Crouching Hobbit, Hidden Director. OR PJ: Check out this sweet new cloak of invisibility I've got in my hands. OR Peter Jackson demonstrates the choreography for the now-famous "Hokey Pokey Scene" of The Return of the Disco King. __________________ "Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.

08-19-2006, 12:20 AM	#11385
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	Right Sam this is the awkward bit, when you put on the ring you will become invisible, so I am going to have to show you how this invisible bow works, oh and by the way I've changed this bit of the story also, the ring turns you ivisible but not your clothes, how are you at uncloaking really fast?............ __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

08-19-2006, 12:45 PM	#11386
Gandalf_the _white Wight Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In crazy captions waving an angry fist at the outside world Posts: 155	PJ:Right this is your bow... wait a minute, wheres it gone??? (Tolkien pureists sneaking off the side):hahahaha we will stop you ruining LOTR!!!! Sam had no bow!!! PJ: I'm the director here!!!

08-19-2006, 01:07 PM	#11387
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	PJ: ... so then I took him by the arm and said, "you'd better get back here you" and then- Guy: Erm, Peter, you've been talking for 5 hours now... and I cant' find Sean's pulse. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

08-20-2006, 11:19 PM	#11388
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	PJ: "Maybe if we built this giant wooden badger..."

08-21-2006, 01:24 AM	#11389
Brinniel Reflection of Darkness Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull. Posts: 3,027	Peter Jackson (on his encounter with the weta): ....so I grabbed that bug off my leg and shook him real hard. And then I said to him, "Crawl up my shorts again and I'll be sure to squish you and your entire family!" And then- Sam: Enough with the story, Pete. Dom already told me you screamed like a little girl. Crew member: Not only screamed- he also ran away like one too... __________________ Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

08-21-2006, 03:15 AM	#11390
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	PJ: Yeah, I needed both hands to carry all of those complaints letter after what I did to Tom Bombadill. Just wait until they see Shelob's dance routine. Sam: OR PJ: I've got a shiny sixpence for the clever chap who can tell me which hand it's in. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

08-21-2006, 06:15 AM	#11391
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	Just as PJ is about to step into action he notices Sam's not playing. PJ: "What's up with you? If you accuse me of tampering with the ball again, I'm going back to the pavilion!" __________________ Gordon's alive!

08-21-2006, 06:44 AM	#11393
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	PJ demonstrates how he wil operate the giant Shelob robot. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

08-21-2006, 07:18 AM	#11394
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,559	PJ: Ok, Round 4 now, you're not doing bad, just hang in there. Stay fast and stay alert for that stinger...jab and move, quick, jab and move. __________________ Fenris Penguin

08-21-2006, 08:57 AM	#11395
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	PJ tells of his forays in the square ring, when as a youth he was slightly slimmer and a bit fitter PJ: I went to the centre of the ring and threw a left then a right, followed by a swift uppercut. Then this other bloke got in the ring and I thought, what the hell does he want. Well he hit me so hard I had to pay to get back in. My manager pushed me back into the ring, and this other bloke hit me again, well that made me so angry I lost my temper along with my two front teeth and a pint of blood, I proceeded to hit his fist as hard as could with my face, and at the end I was so glad I did'nt have to walk back to the dressing room. Sean: What was your record? PJ: Ten fights, lost two, chickened out of eight. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

08-21-2006, 11:24 AM	#11396
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	PJ: "Look, the studio has decided they want a bigger audience for this film, so we're aiming for a U certificate. Rather than all this stabbing and violence, we thought we'd have a nice, domesticated spider, and this will be The Farm of Cirith Ungol. You'll be milking Shelob instead. Like this. Whaddya reckon?" __________________ Gordon's alive!

08-21-2006, 07:05 PM	#11397
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	PJ's getting carried away again... PJ: "I think it'd be cool if we went kind've Jackie Chan with this spider-battling scene, maybe strike one of his poses - something like this? In fact, it probably wouldn't hurt you to throw in a bit of a Chinese accent - if you think you can." Sean: "You're a nut."