The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-18-2007, 02:10 AM

And this week there is a special story that will both shock and annoy everyone...

The Phantom and Alien continue their adventures, though...

As a special for the 50th week, here are the horoscopes for The Barrow Downs (definitely not made up rubbish) ... (honest):

Tortoise:
Moving slowly? You will get lots of good luck if you buy one of the Downer Newspaper sponsored magic scooters. Seriously, if you do, your day will be better.

Cancer:
If you find yourself faced with a difficult choice, always go with the more expensive brand of high quality Downer brand Cheese. It will make your day much better.

Leprosy:
If an arm or a leg falls off today, don't worry, now you can buy all those expensive things you wanted.

Pikes:
You're sharp wit and pointy head will come in useful today as you have to head but your way out of a crowd of Scorpions. Make sure you knock their heads off.

Papertearious:
Write down what you think will be your greatest achievement and then leave it in a small box outside your door. By morning it will be gone and you will be left very happy...

Scorpion:
Make sure to get close to someone who is a Pike. Bring all your friends that you know to be Scorpions and have a party for your Pike friend. I assure you, nothing will go wrong if you keep your head.

Skindisease:
Go around to a Papertearious' house tonight and you will find a box with their hopes and dreams in it. Use this to blackmail and ridicule them.

Aquarium:
You are fat and wear a stupid hat and should be ashamed of yourself. Go and jump off a bridge.

Diamondineye:
Stay away from bridges. If you have to go near a bridge, wear a hard hat.

06-18-2007, 02:10 AM	#11
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	It's The Downer's 50th edition! And this week there is a special story that will both shock and annoy everyone... The Phantom and Alien continue their adventures, though... As a special for the 50th week, here are the horoscopes for The Barrow Downs (definitely not made up rubbish) ... (honest): Tortoise: Moving slowly? You will get lots of good luck if you buy one of the Downer Newspaper sponsored magic scooters. Seriously, if you do, your day will be better. Cancer: If you find yourself faced with a difficult choice, always go with the more expensive brand of high quality Downer brand Cheese. It will make your day much better. Leprosy: If an arm or a leg falls off today, don't worry, now you can buy all those expensive things you wanted. Pikes: You're sharp wit and pointy head will come in useful today as you have to head but your way out of a crowd of Scorpions. Make sure you knock their heads off. Papertearious: Write down what you think will be your greatest achievement and then leave it in a small box outside your door. By morning it will be gone and you will be left very happy... Scorpion: Make sure to get close to someone who is a Pike. Bring all your friends that you know to be Scorpions and have a party for your Pike friend. I assure you, nothing will go wrong if you keep your head. Skindisease: Go around to a Papertearious' house tonight and you will find a box with their hopes and dreams in it. Use this to blackmail and ridicule them. Aquarium: You are fat and wear a stupid hat and should be ashamed of yourself. Go and jump off a bridge. Diamondineye: Stay away from bridges. If you have to go near a bridge, wear a hard hat. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 06-25-2007 at 07:36 AM.