Middle Earth Idol

[Valesse]

The world as we know it today was created by the music of the Ainur which the elves believe is still echoed in Ulmo's domain. Its an ever changing sound which reflects our lives under the will of mighty Iluvatar. But, with the Valar in Valanor, we are left with the trilling of Elves, the ballads of Men, the marches of Dwarves, the jingles of Halflings, and perhaps even a few lymmerics from wayward Uruk Hai. We are now in search for the next great music of all Arda. Who will be the next Middle Earth Idol?

To help us with our search, three judges have been brought in to vote off, give insight, and to push our contestants to new lengths. They are (in no certain order) Sleepy Cowell, Wilwa Abdul, and Glirdy Jackson. As your host, "Vala Seacrest", I will be in charge of giving interviews and moving the competition along through narration. The rules reflect the same guidelines exhibited in the television show, however that does not give me any reason NOT to post them along with this fabulous introduction.

RULES:
- As many members may enter the competition at the beginning of the season, but after the semi-finals begin there may be no more entries until the next competition at which point anyone can enter once more.
- The preliminary competition will be controlled soully on the judge's opinions.
- Only 24 contestants will be allowed into the semi-finals. This is when "Middle Earth" can start voting for their favorite preformers under the direction of the host.
- Only 12 will advance in the finals.
- Preformances during this stage will be under the direction of certain themes which will be decided upon by the panel. The preformers will have a set amount of time to decide what song (lyrics) to preform in accordance to this new obligation.
- One attempt (I don't like using that word in this context, but its the only one I can think of to fit) per person per round, please.

HOW TO ENTER:
- Post the lyrics of a song of your choice during the preliminaries. Please make it relavent to the Tolkien world. (This my be done in many ways such as referances, original songs*, or similar situations, or parodying, twisting lines and such.) *From Tolkien. Please name the real band and the real song and also note how you plan to sing the song (you can sing a pop song with a rocky tune, its your call). And also name a Tolkien character in whose voice you will sing the song.
- Please bold your name in your entry post for clarity.
- You will be informed if you have advanced to the next round... so there is nothing more that you have to worry about until that time.

Originally Posted by Entry Example

My name is Sleepy Ranger and I'm from Corellia, I'll be singing Mr. Brightside by The Killers. (Soft rock; Pippin Voice)

I'm coming out of my hole
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a ring
How did it end up like this
It was only a ring, it was only a ring
Now I’m falling to twilight
And she’s calling a dragon
While he’s having smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his-chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let us go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning elves into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Baggins

I'm coming out of my hole
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a ring
How did it end up like this
It was only a ring, it was only a ring
Now I’m falling to twilight
And she’s calling a dragon
While he’s having smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his-chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let us go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning elves into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Baggins

To Mordor...
To Mordor...
To Mordor...

VOTING:
- Since there will be no voting at the beginning of the competition, the directions for sending votes will come later with the change of the round.

[Valesse]

So that you might better be able to understand our judges, provided are some brief profiles of their illustrious accomplishments in the Middle Earth music industry:

Sleepy Cowell's honesty on Middle-Earth Idol has made him a household name in Middle-Earth. Cowell’s UL-based production company, AMCO, has just finished production of Season 2 of the No. 1 entertainment show in the UL, “The Silmaril-Factor,” which began airing in the UL in the Third Age, with Cowell executive-producing and starring. In the Third Age, Cowell’s book “I Don’t Mean to Be Rude, But....” hit the stands, detailing behind-the-scenes information about Middle-Earth Idol.

A 20-year veteran of the music industry, Cowell is an executive with BMG (Bilbo’s Music Group) Records. He has helped to shape the modern pop music industry. Over the last 15 years his acts have achieved sales of more than 100 million albums, and he has had over 50 No. 1 records. His most recent discovery is the pop-opera quartet Il Elven, whose debut album has sold over 5 million copies around the world and has entered into the top 5 in 23 countries. The UL version of Middle-Earth Idol, “Immortal Idol,” is where Cowell became a celebrity in his own right.

-

Wilwa Abdul’s music career encompasses ardawide album sales exceeding 30 million records, two No. 1 albums, six No. 1 singles, a Gimli Award, seven MEV(Middle Earth Vidoes) Awards, two Elfy Awards, two Elves' Choice Awards and two Hobbits’ Choice Awards. She has also been honored with a star on Minas Tirith Boulevard and inducted into Hobbiton's Hobbits’ Choice Hall of Fame.

Contestants and viewers alike praise Abdul’s positive feedback on MIDDLE-EARTH IDOL. She has even designed inspirational good-luck jewelry for the IDOL contestants. Abdul designs a jewelry collection called “Innergy,” consisting of handmade gold and silver pendants and rings. She also has designed a line of cheerleading attire and dancewear for young hobbit girls and she-elves called “Skirtz,” inspired by her own dance and cheer career.

-

Glirdy Jackson is a Doriath Award-winning producer and a 20-year music industry veteran. He started his music career at the age of 1300 playing the saxophone, which led to playing with the band Journey Home. For eight years, he was the vice president of A&R at Gondolin Records, followed by four years as senior vice president of A&R at MT(Minas Tirith) Records. Jackson has recorded, toured and performed with the likes of Luthien Tinuviel, Daeron, Maglor and many more unpopular groups.

Jackson has worked on over 1,000 gold and multi-platinum albums. His contributions have helped to sell over 200 million albums worldwide. With his talent, immense studio knowledge and performing, touring and record company experience, he is one of today’s most highly regarded music industry experts.

[Mithalwen]

"Flowers in the Window", travis, Eowyn in the (vocal) style of Mama Cass - ie folksy but in tune

When I first held you I was cold
A broken ice queen I was told
But there was no-one there to hold
Before I swore that I would be alone forever more
Wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It’s such a lovely day
And I’m glad that you feel the same
’cos to stand up I’m in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so let’s watch the flowers grow
There is no reason to feel bad
But there are many seasons to feel glad, sad, mad
It’s just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold
But I am here to help you with the load
Wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It’s such a lovely day
And I’m glad that you feel the same
’cos to stand up I’m in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so let’s watch the flowers grow
So now we’re here and now is fine
So far away from there
And there is time, time, time
To plant new seeds and watch them grow
So there’ll be flowers in the window when we go
Wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It’s such a lovely day
And I’m glad that you feel the same
’cos to stand up I’m in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so let’s watch the flowers grow
Wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It’s such a lovely day
And I’m glad that you feel the same
’cos to stand up I’m in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so let’s watch the flowers grow
Let’s watch the flowers grow

[JennyHallu]

I'm Jen from Georgia, and I'll be singing "Eye in the Sky" by the Alan Parsons Project, in Sauron's voice (smoldering temptor Arratar-mode, no less)

Don’t think sorry’s easily said
Don’t try turning tables instead
You’ve taken lots of chances before
But I’m not gonna give anymore
Don’t ask me
That’s how it goes
Cause part of me knows what you’re thinkin’

Don’t say words you’re gonna regret
Don’t let the fire rush to your head
I’ve heard the accusation before
And I ain’t gonna take any more
Believe me
The sun in my eyes
Made some of my lies worth believing


I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don’t need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, I can read your mind

Don’t leave false illusions behind
Don’t cry cause I ain’t changing my mind
I'll find another fool like before
Cause you ain’t gonna live anymore believing
Some of the lies while all of the signs are deceiving


I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don’t need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, I can read your mind

[Sleepy Ranger]

Mithalwen

Mithalwen, first I'll say that though that was nowhere near as good as the original it was however, a brilliant way to start off this competition. Now I don't want to fool you into thinking you have what it takes to go all the way but with a bit of work I think you may actually give the other contestants something to worry about.

Its a reluctant yes from me but a yes none the less.

JennyHallu

What was that? Weren't you informed that this is a singing competition not a screaming one? Now don't get me wrong, you have a good voice and you can definately hit those hight notes but I don't think thats the right kind of voice for this competition. However, since I like your voice I'll ask you to give us thirty seconds of something else before I give you my judgement.

[JennyHallu]

Off-topic: Sleepy, have you ever listened to APP? Tuneful balladeers...

Something else?

Hmm...Well I did have this prepared...By Tom T. Hall, in a cheerful, thoughtful, Pippin voice.

In some of my songs I have casually mentioned,
The fact that I like to drink beer.
Now this little song is more to the point.
Roll out the barrel and lend me your ears.

• I like beer. It makes me a jolly good fellow.
  I like beer. It helps me unwind,
  Sometimes it makes me feel mellow.
  (Makes him feel mellow.)
  Whiskey's too rough, elf-wine costs too much,
  An' that ent draught puts my mouth in gear.
  This little refrain should help me explain,
  As a matter of fact I like beer.
  (He likes beer.)
  

My wife often frowns when we're out on the town,
An' I'm wearing a waistcoat and tie.
She's sipping vermouth and she thinks I'm uncouth,
When I yell as the waiter goes by.

• Hey, I like beer. It makes me a jolly good fellow.
  I like beer. It helps me unwind,
  Sometimes it makes me feel mellow.
  (Makes him feel mellow.)
  Whiskey's too rough, elf-wine costs too much,
  An' that ent-draught puts my mouth in gear.
  This little refrain should help me explain,
  As a matter of fact I like beer.
  (He likes beer.)
  

Now, last night I dreamed that I passed from the scene,
I went to a place so sublime.
The water was clear and it tasted like beer.
They turned it all into wine.

• Hey, I like beer. It makes me a jolly good fellow.
  I like beer. It helps me unwind,
  Sometimes it makes me feel mellow.
  (Makes him feel mellow.)
  Whiskey's too rough, elf-wine costs too much,
  An' that ent-draught puts my mouth in gear.
  This little refrain should help me explain,
  As a matter of fact I like beer.
  
  Yes we like beer.
  Yes we like beer.
  

[littlemanpoet]

My name is Elempí and I'm from the Edge of Faerie. I got this invitation, you see, and well, it's like this: I think this song belongs to Bilbo. I'll be singing Life's Been Good by Bilbo Walsh. (Pop rock; Joe Walsh voice)

I earned a Dwarf's wealth, forget its price
Didn't never get it, they tell me it's nice
I live in Rivendell, stare at the walls
I have a minstrel play all my songs

They think I'm crazy but I have a good time
I'm just looking for words so I can make a good rhyme
Life's been good to me so far

My pricey waistcoat cost one-eighty-five
I lost my Ring which barely left me alive
I have a pony, ride on its back
I live with Elves in case I'm attacked

I write some poetry, Strider can't wait
He helps me with parts, tells me I'm great
So I got me an old chair, to sit in the Fire Hall
But I end up sleeping here by the wall

Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through
(I'm just an old fool......”He's no fool”)
I can't complain but sometimes I still do
Life's been good to me so far

I go to luncheons, sometimes until four
It's hard to leave when you can't find the door
It's tough to handle good fortune and fame
All these Elves are so different, I haven't changed

They say I'm aging; and it takes all my time
(Everybody say “Bilbo”..... “Baggins”)
I keep on rhyming till the day I die
Life's been good to me so far

yeah, yeah, yeah

[Valesse]

Eleven people had been choosen to advance to the Hall of Fire by the time the judges moved on to Annúminas. There they came to the understanding that the city had been abandoned for at least two thousand years. Disturbed about how geographically out of date they were, all three made a "long" -but, stunningly, brief- journey to Edoras where many musical suprises awaited.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Legolas In Spandex

You don't need to sing again yet.

Elempi

You certainly bring some much needed maturity to this contest. You have a steady voice and though it may not be the best voice, you definately show talent in age. I like the voice and I think you've got a look to match it. Its a yes from me.

[Lhunardawen]

Hi, I'm Lhuna from the nearby Grey Havens. I'll be singing a song by some person named Kelly Clarkson, called Breakaway. Slightly marr- er, mutila- er, changed to fit the voice of Bill the Balrog, who, surprisingly, does NOT have a scary gruff voice.

(Dedicated to non-wingers everywhere )

*ehem*

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And break(dance) away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
And I will forget all the Orcs that I loathe
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And break(dance) away

Dwellings with a hundred floors
Entering Dwarf-fashioned doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, grooving on
Fly away, break(dance) away

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to prove - but I'll try
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And break(dance) away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
And I will forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And break(dance) away, break(dance) away, break(dance) away

[Sleepy Ranger]

Lhuna

Doing a song of such a level is a tough and challenging task but you pulled it off some-what-ish. It wasn't too bad a performance but it wasn't anything spectacular or something to remember either. Go home, brush up and then we'll see you in the next round. Its a yes.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

"Well," said the surprisingly still alive Hookbill, "Good evening. Welcome to the Barrow Downs... that’s a silly thing to say, I suppose you live here, anyway... Here is a song about a man they called Harold the Baggins, a Hobbit restaurant owner."

***

News:

A well-known Hobbit restaurant-owner
disappeared early this morning.
Last seen in a mouse-brown Elven cloak
suitably camouflaged,
they saw him on a horse.

Man-in-the-street:

"Father of three its disgusting"
"Such a horrible thing to do"
Harold the Baggins cut off his toes
and he served them all for tea
"Can't go far", "He can't go far".
"Hasn't got a leg to stand on"
"He can't go far".

Hobbit-on-the-spot:

I'm standing in a doorway in By-water
tension is mounting
There's a restless crowd of angry Shire folk

Hobbit-on-the-council:

"More than we've ever seen.
- had to tighten up security"

Over to the scene at Michel Delving
The Shire Mayor's ready to speak

Mayor:

"Man of suspicion, you can't last long,
The Public is on our side"

Public:

"Can't last long", "You can't last long".
"Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"
"You can't last long".

Harold:

If I was many miles from here,
I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
Instead I'm on this window ledge,
With the whole world below
Up at the window
Look at the window...

Mr.Plod:

"We can help you
We can help you
We're all your friends, if you come on down
And talk to us son"

Harold:

You must be joking
Take a running jump

The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold
getting weaker;
Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side
Fearing the very worst
They called his mother to the sight
Upon the ledge beside him
His mother made a last request.

67-yr-old Mrs Baggins:

"Come off the ledge
if your father were alive he'd be very,
very, very upset.
"Just can't jump, you just can't jump"
"Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from
the B.B.C.*"
"You just can't jump"

Mr. Plod:

"We can help you"
"We can help you"
"We're all your friends, if you come on down
and talk to us Harry"

Harold:

You must be joking.
Take a running jump......

* The Barrow Broadcasting Co-operation.


And Hookbill did take a running jump... out of the window as bottles and other things flew onto the stage.

[Anguirel]

Are we no longer getting Cowell critiques?

Oh well. I like so many ballads it was hard to choose, but I will be performing the traditional Banks of the Bann (retitled Doriath Glade) in the tenor voice of Beren.

When first unto this forest as a stranger I came
I placed my affections on a maid (yet not young)
Her being fair and tender, her waist small and slender
Kind Fortune had formed her for my overthrow.

In that Doriath glade, it was there I first met her
She appeared like fair Varda, Valinor's bright queen,
Her eyes shone like Sil-maaa-rils, or like stars in the heavens
Her cheeks were like roses, or like blood drops in snow.

It was her cruel parents that first caused our variance
Because she is rich and above my degree
But I'll do my endeavour to gain my love's favour
Though her father demands one of Feee-anor's gems.

My name's son of Barahir, a name that Orcs fear
And if I had companions I'd have never have roamed
But scouting and thieving, night raiding and reaving
Were the cause of my ruin and the loss o' my home.

O, had I the riches that's in the West Havens
I'd put rings on her fingers and gold at her feet
And there in the midst of that Doriath glade
In innocent splendour I'd live with my love.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Cowell has exams hence Cowell shall not be active for a while. Apologies to all those who have been benifiting from his precise judgements.

[The Only Real Estel]

Well as usual I’m Estel and, since I am not as well versed in ballads as Anguirel , I had very few to choose from.

So I went with one of Valesse's examples: "The Highwayman" by Alfred Noyes. This is a play on that one entitled "The Bolsterman" (yes, the same bolsterman that Nob fashioned as a sacrifice for Frodo in the Prancing Pony ), sung in the voice of Aragorn, because he knew all the songs didn't he?


PART ONE
I (I)

The wind was a stormy gale among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly white, unchanged by the forceful breeze,,
The inn was as quite as a mouse, with hardly even a snore,,
And the bolsterman was lying—
Lying—lying—
The bolsterman was lying, as they came up to the old inn door.

II (II)

He'd a woolen brown mat for his "head," a bunch of blanket at his "chin,"
A comforter of the greatest comfort, and a bit bunched up at the end;
In the sky was nary a twinkle: it seemed a good night to die.
He lay without causing a wrinkle,
The stars still held back their twinkle,
As the wraiths began to slink(le?)*, under the veiled sky.

III (III)

Over the cobbles they cautiously crept in the dark inn-yard,
And they tapped with their fists on the windows, but all was locked and barred;
They glared darkly at the window, and what should happen then
But a single blow to the window,
Just a single blow to the window,
A stealthy blow to the window and then, the window was now forced in.

IV (V)

"All right, my fellow servants. We're after a prize tonight,,
But we shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
Yet, if they press us sharply, and harry us, causing a fray,
Then look for It by moonlight,
Watch for It by moonlight,
We'll come to It by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."

PART TWO

I (II)


They said no word to the landlord, they just climbed in instead,
But they saw the helpless hobbit - looking fast asleep in his bed;
Two of them knelt at the casement, with drawn swords at their side!
There was death at every window;
And hell at one dark window;
For the bolsterman could see, that now turning was the tide.

II (III)

They had circled the bed with intention, with many a sniggering jest;
They had found a jacket beside the bed, with a 'Baggins' sewed on the breast!
"Now, keep it secret!" they hissed to him.
He heard the dead men say—
Look for It by moonlight;
Watch for It by moonlight;
We'll come to It by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!

III (VII)

Clink-clink, in the frosty silence! Clink-clink, in the echoing night!
Nearer they crept and nearer! Their swords were a pale light!
His eyes grew wide for a moment; he drew one last deep breath,
Then the figures moved in the moonlight,
Their sword thrusts shattered the moonlight,
Shattered the bolster in the moonlight and slashed him—intending death.

IV (VIII)

They turned; they looked upon the bed; they knew it was not Baggins who lay
Still, with his "head" upon the pillow, slashed with their own dark swords!
Not till the light shown in, their faces turned on his form
And saw the bolsterman they'd "slaughtered,"
The bolsterman they'd thought they'd slaughtered,
He'd taken Baggin's place in the moonlight, and "died" in the darkness there.

IX

Now, they screeched like madmen, shrieking a curse to the sky,
With the bolsterman lying before them, and moonlight to see him by!
They climbed from the room in the waning night; denied their chance to gloat,
And they shot down the lane on their way,
Down like lightening on the lane,
And he lay in his bed in the inn, with tatters of blanket at his throat.

* * * * * *

X

And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly white, unchanged by the forceful breeze,
When the inn is quite as a mouse, with hardly even a snore,
A bolsterman is lying—
Lying—lying—
A bolsterman is lying, playing his role evermore.

XI

Over the cobbles they may cautiously creep, in the dark inn-yard,
They tap with their fists on the windows, but all is locked and barred;
A dark glare at the window, and what should happen then
But a single blow to the window,
Just a single blow to the window,
A stealthy blow to the window and then, the window is forced in.

And the bolsterman lies within.

*Yes, I am aware that there is no such word as "slinkle."

[Celuien]

This is a ballad sung by Finduilas as Turin is deaf to her cries for help. It's based on a traditional ballad out of Kentucky that has become somewhat more famous in recent years...

I am a maid of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble all my days.
I bid farewell to old Nargothrond
The place where I dwelt many days.
(The place where she dwelt many days.)

For many long years I've been in trouble
No love from you have I found
Now comes Glaurung, and you've been spellbound
I have no friends to help me now.

(chorus) She has no friends to help her now

It's fare thee well my own true love
I never expect to see you again
For I'm bound to end in curséd Angband
I'll die before you come again.

(chorus) She'll die before you come again.

You can bury me in some green mound
For many years where I may lay
Then you may learn to love another
While I am sleeping in my grave.

(chorus) While she is sleeping in her grave.