Crazy Captions - Page 259 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Morsul the Dark · 04-12-2006, 08:22 AM

Bombadil loved splashing in puddles so much no one had the heart to tell him it wasn't raining

narfforc · 04-12-2006, 09:58 AM

Loo Loo skip to the Loo
Loo Loo skip to the Loo

Loo Loo skip to the Loo
And take that toilet roll to.

Meela · 04-12-2006, 11:19 AM

As a Monty Python fan, Bombadil just loved to start the day with his own Silly Walk.

davem · 04-12-2006, 12:11 PM

(Tom: 'Ho there, Frodo lad,
Did you forget Tom's warning?
Putting on the shiny Ring,
Vanishing in the morning
Out in the Forest Old,
Under the Willows,
Old Tom will show you now
Warnings are for heeding,
I'll just grab your curly head
& slam it into this sapling!'

Frodo: 'Gnn, gnn, gnn!! Its not a sapling, its a bloody tree! And your poetry doesn't even scan!'

Tom: 'Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam!
Ring a dong dillo!
Old Tom Bombadil
And the sound of Hobbit on Willow....'

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-12-2006, 12:21 PM

Tom really has no idea what he is doing or where he is.

Mithalwen · 04-12-2006, 12:56 PM

"Father Abraham, seven sons he had, seven sons had father abraham, and they never laughed and they never cried all they did was go like this"

or

Tom could never get the hang of patting his head and rubbing his tummy at the same time.

or

The dangers of Prozac

Maeggaladiel · 04-12-2006, 01:31 PM

Tom discovers that these boots were made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do.

OR

Tom loved his pet giant caterpillar. Every day, he'd take it for a leaf-ride through the forest. Nobody had the heart to tell him that it had died three weeks ago.

davem · 04-12-2006, 01:34 PM

Pallando shows why he & Alatar were dispatched into the East by the Valar - a very long way into the East.

The Only Real Estel · 04-12-2006, 02:26 PM

Bombadil preforms his world-famous "Skipping On A Scroll" act.

Lalwendë · 04-12-2006, 02:37 PM

Here comes jolly Tom Bombadillo, bearing aloft the dead swan he found floating on the Withywindle. Oh dear, he has not heard of the DEFRA bird flu helpline.

The Only Real Estel · 04-12-2006, 02:48 PM

Playing off of narfforc...

Bombadil just loved going tping...

"Hey doll, merry roll, wrap it in the trees! Wind it, wind it, wind it, wind it, or toss it to the breeze!"

Balin999 · 04-12-2006, 03:12 PM

Tom Bombadil to the creator of this picture:
"Very good. Almost like a mirror. And now you'll repaint it so that it doesn't look as if I was junkie-version of Santa Clause. Seriously, yellow boots? Look at them, this is ocre!"

Oddwen · 04-12-2006, 04:58 PM

Middle-earth's first pizza delivery service:

TB: Hi-ho, domin-O, who ordered our Water Lily Lover?

Or...

Some addresses are just so hard to find...this will be the third time he's passed the fungus steps to R. Squirrel's house, 1420 Withywindle Path.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-13-2006, 03:41 AM

The only reason Tom had to 'hop along' all the time was because he'd broken his leg.

OR

Bombadill: That Old Man Willow! I'll sing his roots off! Wait! He's got wheels?

Holbytlass · 04-13-2006, 05:13 AM

Tom Cruise, the later years: I'm in love!!

Gurthang · 04-13-2006, 08:34 AM

What most people don't realize is that this man doesn't have a beard. That's chest hair sticking out of his shirt.

The Only Real Estel · 04-13-2006, 10:38 AM

The lily vendor at the Mt. Zoom Challenge cheers on his favorite racers.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-13-2006, 10:45 AM

Tom: Get your Stuffed Hedgehogs here! Only £4.50!

Lalwendë · 04-13-2006, 03:52 PM

Tom: "Hey dol! Goldberry! Sniff my boot, would you, my flower?"

Goldberry: "Hmm, it smells quite bad, Tom my dear. What is it?"

Tom: "I think I've stepped in something Huan the Hound left behind."

Morsul the Dark · 04-13-2006, 05:29 PM

"Just tell your parents you were skipping around they' understand: Responsibility the anti-song"

Or

Bombadil finally beats old man willow at poker

narfforc · 04-13-2006, 07:11 PM

Old Tom moans like a very old man
His Jackets to tight, and his boots are tan
He can't skip far now, since he's got fatter
His boots don't fit, and he's mad as a hatter.

Tom's off home to his pretty Goldigger
She's very nice, with a really good figure
Down by a pond, that's where he caught her
Happy Old Tom, and The Glibber-woman's Daughter.

Old Tom smiles, but he's not happy
Goldigger's broody, so he has to wear a nappy (Diaper)
That's why his walk is so very funny
He skips along like the Easter Bunny.

The Only Real Estel · 04-14-2006, 09:01 AM

Hitch (in the background): "Don't ever...do that again, Tom."

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-14-2006, 09:27 AM

Tom: Hay come merry dol! Ring a ding Dillo

Sam: Quick! A new picture before we all go insane!

Continuing the theme at the moment...

Gothmog: Give me my wings back!

Fingon: I thought it was just a shadow!

Gothmog: Don't start that again!

The Only Real Estel · 04-14-2006, 09:32 AM

Fingon: "Dude, your backhair is on fire. Not only is that dangerous, it's disgusting."

Gothmog: "Yeah right, you expect me to fall for that one?"

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-14-2006, 09:45 AM

The Obvious:

Its Gandalf the Grey uncloaked!

OR

Gothmog: Give me my trousers back!

davem · 04-14-2006, 12:30 PM

The real reason for the rebellion of Ainur who became Morgoth's most terrible servants - Eru had demanded some Castrati to sing in the Ainulindale. This explains the bad temper of the Balrogs, their high pitched voices, lack of facial hair & their odd warcry:

'O! for the wings, for the wings of a dove....'

(Hence the later confusion over Balrog 'wings')

EDIT

I owe the inspiration for this caption to Lalwende - of course, the first thing she noticed about the Balrog.....

Holbytlass · 04-14-2006, 01:54 PM

I'll get you for killing and discoloring the man with the yellow hat (Curious George)!

*look beneath Fingon*

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 04-14-2006, 02:07 PM

Fingon's boast about "easily killing that beast" centred around the assumption that Balrogs were man-high. "I'm sure I read that somewhere!" he wailed.

Meela · 04-14-2006, 04:06 PM

Yet another dissatisfied customer at the salon...

"A blow-dry has nothing to do with a blow torch!"

Farael · 04-14-2006, 04:17 PM

(Inspired by the balrog's tail)

When Minas Tirith had to be evacuated because of a "big and mean rats" invasion, the Rohirrim laughed. Now that they have seen how big and mean those rats really are, they wish they had listened.

narfforc · 04-14-2006, 04:31 PM

It's no good losing your temper and getting hot under the collar with me, I was was just sent to give you this toothpick, because you've got a bit of my friend stuck in your fangs, he's not been feeling to good since you bit off both his arms.

narfforc · 04-14-2006, 04:38 PM

The latest B movie to be released is Monsters of Middle-Earth meet The Coneheads.

Or

Conehead The Barber and The Difficult Customer.

Lalwendë · 04-14-2006, 04:59 PM

The new sport in Middle-earth. Extreme Marshmallow Toasting. Many would die.

davem · 04-14-2006, 05:12 PM

Among the tragic tales of hapless courage which have come down to us from those days was Fingon's leading of the Noldor into battle in woollen armour...

The Only Real Estel · 04-14-2006, 07:54 PM

Not only was Gothmog big, mean, and scary - he also was in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest fingernail ever.

Holbytlass · 04-15-2006, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davem

Among the tragic tales of hapless courage which have come down to us from those days was Fingon's leading of the Noldor into battle in woollen armour...

for those industrial sized crochet needles on the top of the balrog's head.

The Only Real Estel · 04-15-2006, 08:36 AM

Fingon: "Hello, my name is Fingon. You killed my father's half-brother [Feanor]. Prepare to die."

Anguirel · 04-15-2006, 08:52 AM

ANGRY ANGLO-SAXON PROFESSOR: Begone foul Norman-helmeted anachronism! 1066 was the greatest cultural disaster ever to befall Britain! Grr!

Rune Son of Bjarne · 04-15-2006, 09:11 AM

Clearly shows how the Noldor was unable to accept the fact that they lost on the battle-field.

King Fingon stood by the lofty beast
in mist and smoke;
His sword was hammering so fast,
thru Gothmogs Helm and Brain it passed;
Then died each hostile beast and scamp,
in mist and smoke.
"Fly" shouted they, "for shelter fly!
of the Noldor's Fingon who can defy,
of the Noldor's Fingon who can defy,
the power?"

(i know scamp does not really work, but I don't have time to think of something else)

Morsul the Dark · 04-15-2006, 09:16 AM

Frodo had warned everyone they wouldn't like him when he was angry, but they listen? of course not

04-12-2006, 08:22 AM	#10321
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,492	Bombadil loved splashing in puddles so much no one had the heart to tell him it wasn't raining __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

04-12-2006, 09:58 AM	#10322
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Those damn puppies have had the toilet roll again Goldberry. Loo Loo skip to the Loo Loo Loo skip to the Loo Loo Loo skip to the Loo And take that toilet roll to. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

04-12-2006, 11:19 AM	#10323
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,070	As a Monty Python fan, Bombadil just loved to start the day with his own Silly Walk. __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

04-12-2006, 12:11 PM	#10324
davem Illustrious Ulair Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties Posts: 4,240	(Tom: 'Ho there, Frodo lad, Did you forget Tom's warning? Putting on the shiny Ring, Vanishing in the morning Out in the Forest Old, Under the Willows, Old Tom will show you now Warnings are for heeding, I'll just grab your curly head & slam it into this sapling!' Frodo: 'Gnn, gnn, gnn!! Its not a sapling, its a bloody tree! And your poetry doesn't even scan!' Tom: 'Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Ring a dong dillo! Old Tom Bombadil And the sound of Hobbit on Willow....' __________________ “Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects."

04-12-2006, 12:21 PM	#10325
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,015	... Tom really has no idea what he is doing or where he is. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-12-2006, 12:56 PM	#10326
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,530	"Father Abraham, seven sons he had, seven sons had father abraham, and they never laughed and they never cried all they did was go like this" or Tom could never get the hang of patting his head and rubbing his tummy at the same time. or The dangers of Prozac __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

04-12-2006, 01:31 PM	#10327
Maeggaladiel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally. Posts: 508	Tom discovers that these boots were made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do. OR Tom loved his pet giant caterpillar. Every day, he'd take it for a leaf-ride through the forest. Nobody had the heart to tell him that it had died three weeks ago. __________________ "Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.

04-12-2006, 01:34 PM	#10328
davem Illustrious Ulair Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties Posts: 4,240	Pallando shows why he & Alatar were dispatched into the East by the Valar - a very long way into the East. __________________ “Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects."

04-12-2006, 02:26 PM	#10329
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,917	You think walking a tightrope is hard? Bombadil preforms his world-famous "Skipping On A Scroll" act.

04-12-2006, 02:37 PM	#10330
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,750	Here comes jolly Tom Bombadillo, bearing aloft the dead swan he found floating on the Withywindle. Oh dear, he has not heard of the DEFRA bird flu helpline. __________________ Gordon's alive!

04-12-2006, 02:48 PM	#10331
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,917	Playing off of narfforc... Bombadil just loved going tping... "Hey doll, merry roll, wrap it in the trees! Wind it, wind it, wind it, wind it, or toss it to the breeze!"

04-12-2006, 03:12 PM	#10332
Balin999 Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2000 Location: East of the Sun, West of the Moon Posts: 493	Tom Bombadil to the creator of this picture: "Very good. Almost like a mirror. And now you'll repaint it so that it doesn't look as if I was junkie-version of Santa Clause. Seriously, yellow boots? Look at them, this is ocre!" __________________ ...Nichts ist gelber als Gelb selber... ...The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, but conformity... ...Everything is possible, except to ski through a revolving door...

04-12-2006, 04:58 PM	#10333
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,166	Hey, I think I photoshopped this a while back... Middle-earth's first pizza delivery service: TB: Hi-ho, domin-O, who ordered our Water Lily Lover? Or... Some addresses are just so hard to find...this will be the third time he's passed the fungus steps to R. Squirrel's house, 1420 Withywindle Path. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

04-13-2006, 03:41 AM	#10334
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,015	Hum... The only reason Tom had to 'hop along' all the time was because he'd broken his leg. OR Bombadill: That Old Man Willow! I'll sing his roots off! Wait! He's got wheels? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-13-2006, 05:13 AM	#10335
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,056	Tom Cruise, the later years: I'm in love!! __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

04-13-2006, 08:34 AM	#10336
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,435	What most people don't realize is that this man doesn't have a beard. That's chest hair sticking out of his shirt. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

04-13-2006, 10:38 AM	#10337
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,917	The lily vendor at the Mt. Zoom Challenge cheers on his favorite racers.

04-13-2006, 10:45 AM	#10338
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,015	Tom: Get your Stuffed Hedgehogs here! Only £4.50! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-13-2006, 03:52 PM	#10339
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,750	Tom: "Hey dol! Goldberry! Sniff my boot, would you, my flower?" Goldberry: "Hmm, it smells quite bad, Tom my dear. What is it?" Tom: "I think I've stepped in something Huan the Hound left behind." __________________ Gordon's alive!

04-13-2006, 05:29 PM	#10340
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,492	"Just tell your parents you were skipping around they' understand: Responsibility the anti-song" Or Bombadil finally beats old man willow at poker __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

04-13-2006, 07:11 PM	#10341
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Old Tom moans like a very old man His Jackets to tight, and his boots are tan He can't skip far now, since he's got fatter His boots don't fit, and he's mad as a hatter. Tom's off home to his pretty Goldigger She's very nice, with a really good figure Down by a pond, that's where he caught her Happy Old Tom, and The Glibber-woman's Daughter. Old Tom smiles, but he's not happy Goldigger's broody, so he has to wear a nappy (Diaper) That's why his walk is so very funny He skips along like the Easter Bunny. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. Last edited by narfforc; 04-14-2006 at 05:19 AM.

04-14-2006, 09:01 AM	#10342
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,917	ever seen the movie 'Hitch?' Hitch (in the background): "Don't ever...do that again, Tom."

04-14-2006, 09:27 AM	#10343
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,015	Hum de hum Tom: Hay come merry dol! Ring a ding Dillo Sam: Quick! A new picture before we all go insane! Continuing the theme at the moment... Gothmog: Give me my wings back! Fingon: I thought it was just a shadow! Gothmog: Don't start that again! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-14-2006, 09:32 AM	#10344
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,917	Fingon: "Dude, your backhair is on fire. Not only is that dangerous, it's disgusting." Gothmog: "Yeah right, you expect me to fall for that one?"

04-14-2006, 09:45 AM	#10345
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,015	The Obvious: Its Gandalf the Grey uncloaked! OR Gothmog: Give me my trousers back! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-14-2006, 12:30 PM	#10346
davem Illustrious Ulair Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties Posts: 4,240	The real reason for the rebellion of Ainur who became Morgoth's most terrible servants - Eru had demanded some Castrati to sing in the Ainulindale. This explains the bad temper of the Balrogs, their high pitched voices, lack of facial hair & their odd warcry: 'O! for the wings, for the wings of a dove....' (Hence the later confusion over Balrog 'wings') EDIT I owe the inspiration for this caption to Lalwende - of course, the first thing she noticed about the Balrog..... __________________ “Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects." Last edited by davem; 04-14-2006 at 12:39 PM.

04-14-2006, 01:54 PM	#10347
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,056	I'll get you for killing and discoloring the man with the yellow hat (Curious George)! look beneath Fingon __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII Last edited by Holbytlass; 04-14-2006 at 01:58 PM. Reason: spelling

04-14-2006, 02:07 PM	#10348
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,916	Fingon's boast about "easily killing that beast" centred around the assumption that Balrogs were man-high. "I'm sure I read that somewhere!" he wailed. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

04-14-2006, 04:06 PM	#10349
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,070	Yet another dissatisfied customer at the salon... "A blow-dry has nothing to do with a blow torch!" __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

04-14-2006, 04:17 PM	#10350
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,541	(Inspired by the balrog's tail) When Minas Tirith had to be evacuated because of a "big and mean rats" invasion, the Rohirrim laughed. Now that they have seen how big and mean those rats really are, they wish they had listened. __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

04-14-2006, 04:31 PM	#10351
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Mr Angry from Angband It's no good losing your temper and getting hot under the collar with me, I was was just sent to give you this toothpick, because you've got a bit of my friend stuck in your fangs, he's not been feeling to good since you bit off both his arms. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

04-14-2006, 04:38 PM	#10352
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	B nasty The latest B movie to be released is Monsters of Middle-Earth meet The Coneheads. Or Conehead The Barber and The Difficult Customer. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. Last edited by narfforc; 04-14-2006 at 04:44 PM.

04-14-2006, 04:59 PM	#10353
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,750	The new sport in Middle-earth. Extreme Marshmallow Toasting. Many would die. __________________ Gordon's alive!

04-14-2006, 05:12 PM	#10354
davem Illustrious Ulair Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties Posts: 4,240	Among the tragic tales of hapless courage which have come down to us from those days was Fingon's leading of the Noldor into battle in woollen armour... __________________ “Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects."

04-14-2006, 07:54 PM	#10355
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,917	left hand, pointer finger... Not only was Gothmog big, mean, and scary - he also was in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest fingernail ever.