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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
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10-20-2005, 01:53 PM
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#1 |
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Gibbering Gibbet
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Beyond cloud nine
Posts: 1,844
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Ground control to Sauron
Ground control to Sauron: Take your protein pills and put your spiky helmet on Ground control to Sauron: Commencing countdown engine's on Check ignition and may Morgoth be with you This is ground control to Sauron, you've really made the grade! And the papers want to know whose skirts you wear, Now it's time to leave the Black Gate if you dare. This is Sauron to ground control, I'm stepping through the door And I'm floating in the most peculiar way And I look very different today For here am I floating in evening wear, far above the world MIddle Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles, I'm feeling very still And I think my army knows which way to go, Tell Morgoth I love him very much he knows. Ground control to Sauron: Your circuit's dead, there's something wong. Can you hear me Sauron? Can you hear me Sauron? Can you hear me Sauron? Can you… Here am I floating round my land, far above Mount Doom Middle Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do (With profound and deepest apologies to the King of Glam, His Highness and Majesty of Glitz, Sir David Bowie.) |
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10-20-2005, 02:27 PM
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#2 |
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Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Nobody knew there were light-sockets in ME until this guy put his finger in one.
OR Sauron decides to create a new terror: Elves cross-bred with electric eels! OR Legolas... as he sees himslef. OR Elf: "Take the next right it says... Rivendel is right there it says... Tgh! It didn't say I'd be going through a toxic waste drainpipe to get in! I hate MapQuest!"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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10-24-2005, 01:14 PM
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#3 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Yup, you guessed it! Rats, in the pipe!
Denethor: I demand a new picture! This is getting far too silly!
 Aragorn: Not now Gandalf! OR Aragorn Begins to think that chopping off his own arm might be more pleasurable than talking to Legolas about hair care.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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10-24-2005, 01:25 PM
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#4 |
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Everlasting Whiteness
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams
Posts: 4,533
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Aragorn realises too late that gesturing wildly with a sword while talking is not always the best idea.
OR The guy at the back is controlling Aragorn via telepathy!
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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10-24-2005, 01:39 PM
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#5 |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 413
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Aragorn just got done re-enacting Boromir's death. However, he was too wimpy to let them shoot him with arrows, and so had a stunt double die in his place.
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10-24-2005, 01:59 PM
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#6 |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Where I lay my head is home
Posts: 421
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Aragorn couldn't let go of the feeling that everwhere he looked he saw the same longhaired old man wearing brown...
OR Aragorn tried the role as Black Knight in the ME version of Monty Python's Holy Grail. Somehow they didn't manage to chop of his arms though... OR Aragorn to Pippin: One word...just try me! One single word! OR Aragorns attempts to make his shirt to a t-shirt never really succeeded,
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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10-24-2005, 02:07 PM
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#7 |
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Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Several days later, when Legolas still isn't talking to him, it occurs to Aragorn that maybe, just occasionally, he should put his sword away. For instance, when helpfully re-braiding Legolas' hair.
Or Aragorn falls victim to one of Merry and Pippin's superglueing pranks.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
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10-24-2005, 02:11 PM
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#9 |
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Gibbering Gibbet
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Beyond cloud nine
Posts: 1,844
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Aragorn:
On the floor of Edoras Or down in Gondor to go, go With the record selection With the mirror reflection I'm dancing with myself When there's no-one else in sight In the crowded lonely night Well I wait so long For my love vibration And I'm dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Well there's nothing to lose And there's nothing to prove I'll be dancing with myself If I looked all over the world And there's every type of girl But your empty eyes Seem to pass me by Leave me dancing with myself So let's sink another drink 'Cause it'll give me time to think If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance And I'll be dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Well there's nothing to lose And there's nothing to prove I'll be dancing with myself If I looked all over the world And there's every type of girl But your empty eyes Seem to pass me by Leave me dancing with myself So let's sink another drink 'Cause it'll give me time to think If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance And I'll be dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance Dancing with myself Dancing with myself Dancing with myself Dancing with myself If I looked all over the world And there's every type of girl But your empty eyes Seem to pass me by Leave me dancing with myself So let's sink another drink 'Cause it'll give me time to think If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance And I'll be dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance *Without any kind of apologies of any sort to Billy Idol
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Scribbling scrabbling. |
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10-24-2005, 01:51 PM
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#10 |
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Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Aragorn's a little spaced-out. Not a good idea while holding a sword.
OR Man (not pictured): "Forsooth, thoust must recant ye bloodlust! Thoust art encoursed unto the uttermost depths' of Satan's shrine! Repent foul varlet, or the Devil hast thee!" Aragorn contemplates whether he should try to understand or just kill the man. OR Viggo: "PJ. No." PJ: "Oh, com'n. I'll give you a bonus!" Viggo: "PJ. No." PJ: "Really, I'm your boss!" Viggo: "I don't care, I have morals. I'm not stripping!"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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10-26-2005, 03:52 AM
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#11 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Théoden has become a fan of an Entish soap opera. "Tree and leaf street."
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 10-26-2005 at 05:10 AM. |
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10-26-2005, 10:07 AM
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#12 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Is it just me or are Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes getting a little old? And I'm not talking "old," I'm talking this old! (see pic)
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10-26-2005, 12:28 PM
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#13 |
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Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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That's not Theoden: that's Eomer of the Rohirrim during a particularly stressful bout of Werewolf.
(Perhaps exaggerated.  )
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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10-26-2005, 12:39 PM
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#14 |
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Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,637
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Borrowing from Eomer
Mormegil sits pondering "how did it all go wrong...all I did was declare myself as the Hunter...where did I loose them?"
(sorry to bring that up again  but it's how I truly felt.) While the hobbits fought on, Boromir alway thought that a refreshing drink of Miruvor was needed before battle. History doesn't tell us, but the truth of the matter is that Boromir was simply too drunk to be effective or Pippin never quite discerned between orcs and trees so while Merry attacked an orc he was busy stabbing the nearby tree Pippin: "This one is for the shire...die you evil fiend"
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke Last edited by mormegil; 10-26-2005 at 12:42 PM. |
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10-26-2005, 12:44 PM
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#15 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Pippin: Watch out for the archers, Boromir!
Boromir: Don't be stupid! There's no such thing as archers! OR Boromir drinks some magic growing juice while Legolas and Aragorn fight the Orcs!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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11-01-2005, 12:58 AM
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#16 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Oh good grief!
Pippin: Look! I may be a fool of a Took, but I think it's time for a new picture!
 No matter how famous your band is, the mysterious microphone thief will always strike! OR W-k: Look, it's quite simple! Blade + Stomach = Death! OR, as we always need one; W-K: If that Gandalf thinks he can uncloak again, he' got another thing coming!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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11-01-2005, 06:52 AM
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#17 |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Where I lay my head is home
Posts: 421
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The nazgul took a wrong turn and ended up in the ruins of Colosseum
OR The jawas from Star Wars entered the wrong door in the studio... OR RW on the left: Does anyone know why we have to wear these hoods? I can't see! The others: Oh, come on. Your such a whiner! If my hand didn't go straight through you I'd hit you! The first one: Ok, fine by me. Don't blame me when I miss his heart. OR Suddenly the light from a car soaring up the hill hit the Nazgul. They hesitated one moment but after realizing it was Gandalf in his Mustang, Shadowfax edition, they fled.
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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11-01-2005, 07:05 AM
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#18 |
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Laconic Loreman
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 7,507
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Closest Nazgul: (hereafter called the Witch-King) Hey Where's Nazgul #2's sword?
Nazgul in the Middle: (hereafter called Nazgul #1) I don't know, hey Nazgul #2 where's your sword? Nazgul #2: You can't see it because it's an invisible sword. Witch-King: Don't tell me you lost your sword again! Nazgul #2:....no, It's invisible! OR Witch-King: Ok, here's what we do. You'll flank around them and cut off their escapt to the back. I'll hold them in the front, and #2, you'll triangulate. Nazgul #2: Isosceles or Equilateral? W-k: Just do it! Nazgul #1: Ummm, we have a problem. W-K: What now! Nazgul #1: They escaped.
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Fenris Penguin
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11-01-2005, 07:15 AM
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#19 |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In the warm bosom of a Warg
Posts: 378
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As another pub empties when the Ringwraiths enter they begin to wonder if they're ever going to get that pint.
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-- Well, I'm back. |
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11-01-2005, 07:23 AM
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#20 |
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A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Little children all across Mordor wait with baited black breath as Brian, Derek and Floella Nazgul prepare to announce whether it will be the round, square or arched window today.
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Gordon's alive!
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11-02-2005, 12:32 PM
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#21 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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This better, folks?
Try THIS
Sam wonders if Galadriel is going to step in that dog dirt. OR Pippin: Instructions, "point blade 'a' at Orc 'b' and stab." Hmm, I did wonder.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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11-02-2005, 01:00 PM
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#22 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Space Rings
The Nazgul Pic
Sauron: "Take those hoods off! How am I supposed to know if you're making faces at me or not!?" |
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11-02-2005, 01:13 PM
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#23 |
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Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,449
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It was almost too much for Sam: at school he had always been the last to be picked for teams and now he didn't get a present...
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
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11-02-2005, 01:31 PM
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#24 |
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Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,979
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Galadriel pic
Three hobbits mumbling together: "No ma'am. We won't do it again, ma'am. It was a very wrong thing to do, ma'am. Yes ma'am, you are right."
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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11-02-2005, 01:32 PM
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#25 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Samwise is relieved to note that Galadriel has FINALLY stopped glowing.
OR Pippin: "Um, hey, this says 'Celeborn' on the--" Galadriel: "Shh!" Pippin: "But don't you think it's going to be too bi--" Galadriel: *stern look* Pippin: *gulp* OR Merry and Sam's attention quickly became diverted to Galadriel's questionalbe choice in elven foot-wear: go-go boots.
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-02-2005, 01:45 PM
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#26 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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The following is an excerpt from the Blue Book of Westermarch or, by some accounts, Unfinished Tales of Merry, Pippin, & Samwise:
Pippin's face fell. "You mean you won't take a dagger instead?" "Of course not! When I ask for a shrubbery I want a shrubbery," replied the Elf that said Ni. Merry thought of the long journey to the nearest village that sold shrubberies. Pippin thought of the little food that they had left. As for Sam, he thought every colorful curse word he'd ever heard his dear Gaffer use. |
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11-04-2005, 05:22 PM
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#27 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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I nearly forgot...
It seems that Frodo has seen Gandalf the grey... uncloaked. *Groan* this joke WILL die one day...
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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11-04-2005, 05:26 PM
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#28 |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 413
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The hobbits mingled, muttering to each other about that night's chosen topic for discussion. How, they wondered, could the Cult of Bombadil the Black, conceal their presence in Imladris...without resorting to killing Legolas.
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11-04-2005, 05:26 PM
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#29 | |
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Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,637
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Sam: So Rosie and I were on a date last night.
Pippin: Well what happened? Sam: Well Master Peregrin I'm not one to give all the juicy details as it not being proper. Merry: Oh come now you must tell us what you did, you were alone for hours. Sam: *blushing* Okay but you mustn't tell anyone.... All: Okay Sam *still blushing* we held hands...can you believe it! It was pure magic. Quote:
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke |
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11-04-2005, 06:54 PM
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#30 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn?
Posts: 1,031
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Sam, "OK, dudes, I found out what it's all about...so listen up now, cuz I only wanna say this once...You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out...
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York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best! |
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11-04-2005, 08:42 PM
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#31 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
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Following a bit after what Beanamir of Gondor was implying:
Hobbits: With our powers combind we are....! Sam: ...still hobbits. Pippin: Why to ruin the magic, Sam! Frodo: Yeah, Samwise, nice going... Sam: ...  OR Staring contests weren't just big in the Shire-- they were fashion. Boromir found these four in the same place three weeks later and decided to end it all by moodily tucking Frodo between his arm and hip and carrying him off.
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"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
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11-05-2005, 08:57 AM
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#32 | ||
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Quote:
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
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11-05-2005, 09:31 AM
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#33 |
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A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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The Hobbits do their best "Simplicity Sewing Patterns # 134 - Waistcoats and Pants Set" poses.
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Gordon's alive!
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11-05-2005, 09:44 AM
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#34 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Virginia.
Posts: 952
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The Hobbits discuss how to best frighten their new governess.
Sam: "I think we should put a frog in her pocket."
All: "Yeah!" Pippin: "You know, for once you had a brilliant idea, Sam!"
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
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11-05-2005, 10:29 AM
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#35 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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ever had this happen to you?
Here we witness the monthly meeting of the Dieting Support Group Club:
Frodo: "Well, lets compare our results, shall we? After two months of strict dieting I lost five pounds." (*insert polite clapping) Merry: "I lost six (*insert slightly louder polite clapping). How many did you lose, Pip?" Pippin: "Four." (*insert subdued polite clapping) Frodo: "Well, Sam? You look rather pleased with yourself. How many did you lose?" Sam: "I ate bacon, sausages, steaks, & whatever else I wanted to for two months and lost ten! Guess you guys lost out..." (*insert a smug face from Sam & threatening faces from the others) |
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11-05-2005, 01:38 PM
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#36 |
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Laconic Loreman
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 7,507
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Frodo: Hey look, a new pic....
 Gollum: Why shouldn't we eatsss you precious, eh? You're good sourcesss of protien. Frodo: I think I'm going to be sick.
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Fenris Penguin
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11-05-2005, 01:42 PM
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#37 |
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Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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city creature
Gollum: "Cow pies? What's cow pies, precious, eh, what's cow pies?"
Frodo: "Dude, put it down, you're making me sick." |
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11-05-2005, 03:13 PM
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#38 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gollum is worried about the latest pandemic: Worm flue. *groan*
OR This is all Gollum had left after his game of poker with Sam. Frodo: I did warn you.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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11-05-2005, 03:25 PM
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#39 |
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Laconic Loreman
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 7,507
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Gollum: A balrog doesn't have wings sillies
or... Tribute to Gurthang Frodo: We're lost again. Gollum: Go East you say?...Yes, wormses, it'ss stupid mapquest!
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Fenris Penguin
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11-05-2005, 05:02 PM
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#40 |
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A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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While taking a break for lunch at the Dead Marshes branch of Greggs, Gollum is puzzled to find a strand of real meat in his steak pasty. Frodo only has gravy in his and feels jealous.
OR Gollum: "Massster! Dirty Wraiths! The fell beast pooped and the wraith did not scoop!"
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Gordon's alive!
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Hybrid Mode
