LOTR parents! - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Vanwatholiel · 04-22-2004, 08:24 PM

Okay, pretend they are still in middle earth, and the Fellowship is there and everything, but, they have kids!

I can see Legolas saying, "*gasp* a microscopic germ! Hegolas, go take a shower immediately!" What do you guys think? Can't wait to see your funny ideas! Would Treebeard call me hasty?

Sirithheruwen · 04-23-2004, 07:36 PM

Frodo: *seeing his child proposing to his honey* EEK! What have I told you about jewlery?!

(THis is supposing Frodo had children...I know he didn't)

Morai · 04-24-2004, 09:36 AM

Here's my bit.
One day in Fangorn, Treebeards son finds a rusted ork axe on the ground. He picks it up and brings it to his daddy.
Bushbeard: (lousy name I know) "Daddy, what's this?"
Treebeard: PUT...THAT...DOWN...THIS...INSTANT! Or...as fast...as...your...entish...arms...can.

Amariden Ravenhill · 04-24-2004, 12:25 PM

*A loud crash is heard in the White Citadel*

Arwen: ELDARION!!! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE VASE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THAT BOW IN THE HOUSE?!?!

Eldarion: B-but mother, Legolas said the only way I'll get better at archery is if I practice! Dad said the same thing about using my sword! *fingers the pommel in a Gollum-like manner*

Arwen: AHHHHHHH!!!! YOU'RE BECOMING JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER, UNCLES AND YOUR GRANDFATHER!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Eldarion: Eh.......speaking of Uncle Elrohir and Uncle Elladan, today they're going to take me orc-hunting with Dad!!!! *runs out of the room cackling*

Arwen: ........ Eldarion may LOOK like an elf, but he has a human's brain.....

Amariden Ravenhill · 04-24-2004, 12:37 PM

One day in Tuckburough, six year old Faramir Took made an interesting discovery.....

Faramir: HEY DADDY! I'M REALLY SMART!!! Wanna hear me? Please? Please? Please?

Pippen: Oh alright.....

Faramir: Yay! Ok.....um..... Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.

Pippen: Wow…..that’s “You do not know the power of the Dark Side.”

Faramir: Yep! *sees Frodo Gamgee playing with marbles* FRODO!!!!

Frodo: Yeah?

Faramir: Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! = I just said “May barbarians invade your personal space!"

Frodo: THAT’S MEAN!!! *pouts and starts playing with the little gold ring he found*

Yes, it is Latin that little Faramir Took is speaking!

Vanwatholiel · 04-26-2004, 10:57 AM

Alright guys, the responses have been hilarious so far. Thanks. I have another one.

Gimli is brushing his looooooong beard, and he hits a snag (nap). "Ahhhhhhh!" Little Gimlion comes running.
"Ada, what's wrong?" "What have I told you about that word? You are not Elvish." says Gimli.
"But Ada, Uncle Leggy says I have an Elvish spirit." "So?" says Gimli. "Ahhhhhhhh!" (Giant ripping sound) "There. Got it out." "B-but dad, there is a huge bald spot on your chin!" "So? Go shoot some arrows or something. Learn some Elvish lessons. Just get out of my hair!" "But dad, what hair?" "Arrrgh!"

Olorin_TLA · 04-26-2004, 03:25 PM

"Daddy Púrin, can I see our family tree?"

"Of ocurse you can, Dúrin! First, there's Húrin, then Túrin, then Múrin, then Lúrin, then Cúrin, then Júrin, then Búrin, then Fúrin, then Súrin, then Zúrin, then Vúrin, then Núrin, then Uúrin, then Púrin, Dúrin...Ú-c-rin?"

And don;t get me started on Húor's descendants...

Olorin_TLA · 04-26-2004, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morai

Here's my bit.
One day in Fangorn, Treebeards son finds a rusted ork axe on the ground. He picks it up and brings it to his daddy.
Bushbeard: (lousy name I know) "Daddy, what's this?"
Treebeard: PUT...THAT...DOWN...THIS...INSTANT! Or...as fast...as...your...entish...arms...can.

I guess a 3 year debate about haste follows?

Vanwatholiel · 04-26-2004, 07:51 PM

Looky here. (no, it's not a typo) Of course the members didn't have kids until after the War of the Ring. Hey, did Legolas or Gimli ever have kids? Dooes anybody know? Tell me!

Saraphim · 04-26-2004, 08:28 PM

Merry, Pippin and Gimli's kids would be the naughty type.

They would sit around in a circle in the basement and smoke pipe-weed (true That 70's Show style) and convince little Legolas Jr to get them into the wine-cellar, because he is the only one of the offspring anyone trusts.

Faramir's kids would be pyromaniacs because it skips a generation, and because of Eowyn's energetic DNA. But they would also be shy. Quite an odd mix.

Morgoth's child would catch bugs and corrupt them. Where do you think mosquitos come from?

I can imagine Sauron's kid being able to change forms, but he would end up as a little everything: a werewolf puppy, a vampire fledgling, a little fiery eye...

Little Krima Wormtongue would throw things, valuable or not.

nynnd1 · 04-27-2004, 04:50 AM

I could see Legolas and Gimli adopting a child together, Legolas would dress him as an Elf and Gimli would feed him up on Miracle Beard Grow.

tar-ancalime · 04-27-2004, 11:37 PM

Gandalf, to his children:

"Back in my day we knew what walking was. How do you think we got to school? That's right--we walked. Uphill both ways. In the snow. Barefoot. We didn't have fancy waggons or carriages. And that was after we did our chores."

children:

"But Dad, didn't you always get rides from Eagles and Mearas?"

Gandalf:

"Who told you that? That's not the point!"

Morai · 04-30-2004, 10:29 AM

Quote:

I can imagine Sauron's kid being able to change forms, but he would end up as a little everything: a werewolf puppy, a vampire fledgling, a little fiery eye...

That is an interesting point.
One ugly day in Mordor:
Sauron: How many times do I have to tell you not to put the Ring on without my permission?
Sauron Jr.: It didn't hurt me. *turns into an eye and glares*
Sauron: DON'T GIVE ME THAT EYE YOUNG MAN! That's it, you're going to bed up the tower of Baradur without your dinner.
Sauron Jr. : But dad! We're having human royalty stew!
Sauron: No buts young man.
Sauron Jr. *under his breath* I'm a ghastly specter not a man....

Nimrothiel · 04-30-2004, 12:42 PM

"...a little fiery eye..." Rofl!

Hmmm, now whose kid(s) should I do?

*a ten-year old Elfwine can be seen riding a horse in the great hall; Faramir suddenly appears from a side door; Elfwine misses him but crashes into a statuette which shatters*

Faramir: "Elfwine! What have I told you about riding indoors?!"

Elfwine: "Ummm, to always wear a helmet?"

Faramir: "So why aren't you wearing one?"

Elfwine: "Uhhh...."

Faramir: "You had better hope that you're mother doesn't see this; she'll be furious."

Eowyn: "See what, and why would I be furious?"

*Faramir turns around to see Eowyn standing with her arms crossed and a dangerous expression on her face*

Faramir: "Er....umm..."

*Eowyn spots Elfwine*

Eowyn: "Elfwine!! Did you leave your helmet at Eldarion's again?! That's the fifth time this month! Why can't you remember your things?!"

*Elfwine is turning red and slouching in his saddle; Eowyn spots the broken statuette*

Eowyn: "You broke my mother's favorite sculpture! How can you be so clumsy; you're a son of the House of Eorl for Helm's sake!"

*Elfwine looks for a convenient hole to crawl into; but Eowyn is far from finished*

Eowyn: "I suppose you forgot to polish your sword too, and your boots are absolutely filthy! No riding for a month, and you can't go to Eldarion's for twice that. When I think of all the trouble your father and I went through..."

Note: Do not **** off your mom if she happens to be a princess/shieldmaiden; things could get ugly.

Hama Of The Riddermark · 04-30-2004, 01:52 PM

*Eldarion is playing with a sword, hacking at a marble pillar, Arwen walks in, rushs over and snatches the sword out of his hands."

Arwen: Now what did I tell you about playing with Anduril?

Eldarion: Don't hit it against anything hard?

A: And why's that?

E: Because it'll break again, and then Sauron will come back and rule the world again, and then dad'll get killed.

A: That's right, now go play with all the other nice children.

E: Don't want to.

A: Now don't ge tinto a sulk just because I don't let you play with Anduril, go and play.

*Eldarion walks off in a huff*

*Aragorn walks in, sees Arwen scowling, holding Anduril and standing next to the mangled marble pillar*

Aragorn: Jesus!

*Aragorn runs out*

Olorin_TLA · 04-30-2004, 03:01 PM

"Stewards of Gondor: The Early Years"

This week...Denethor...

Ecthelion: Bye bye now, Thorongil, see you soon! WHat's that? Yes, of course I love you! Yes, better than my own brats! See you real soon! Mwa mwa!

Oh; Denethor. What a surprise! Hey! What have I told you about playing with tinder boxes, young man? Have you been skulking in Rath Dinen again? I told you to stay away from there! It's meant to be Silent! That's it, I'm sending you to the secret top room at the top of my Tower, without dinner! ANd don't try and play marbles again with the big ball!

Vanwatholiel · 05-03-2004, 11:07 AM

Weeeee! Completely awesome responses guys and girls. Well, I take back what I said about Leggy being too clean and stuff, microscopic germ and everything. Forgive me my fellow LOTR obsessers. I have one! Soooo, as punishment, Aragorn goes and puts his kid at Helms Deep, and makes him spend the night there. Soooooo lame. I'm having brain blocks, that's why. Fare thee well!

May the Grace of the Valar
Be with you always, even until the
Ending of the World.

Amen. Namarie.

Olorin_TLA · 05-05-2004, 08:17 AM

Aragorn's kids, in order to get their inheritance when their dad dies, have to spend one night...in a Haunted Paths of the Dead...*scary!!!*

04-22-2004, 08:24 PM	#1
Vanwatholiel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a dark corner of my mind. Don't look at me like that! I never liked you anyway. Stop staring! Posts: 40	LOTR parents! Okay, pretend they are still in middle earth, and the Fellowship is there and everything, but, they have kids! I can see Legolas saying, "gasp a microscopic germ! Hegolas, go take a shower immediately!" What do you guys think? Can't wait to see your funny ideas! Would Treebeard call me hasty?

04-23-2004, 07:36 PM	#2
Sirithheruwen Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wind's Road Posts: 467	Frodo: seeing his child proposing to his honey EEK! What have I told you about jewlery?! (THis is supposing Frodo had children...I know he didn't) __________________ "My name is Mallard, but you can call me Duck." ~Random Saying, compliments of Sirith and her best friend, concerning a book.

04-24-2004, 09:36 AM	#3
Morai Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2002 Location: Where young people go to retire Posts: 709	A Day in Fangorn Here's my bit. One day in Fangorn, Treebeards son finds a rusted ork axe on the ground. He picks it up and brings it to his daddy. Bushbeard: (lousy name I know) "Daddy, what's this?" Treebeard: PUT...THAT...DOWN...THIS...INSTANT! Or...as fast...as...your...entish...arms...can. __________________ "So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com

04-24-2004, 12:25 PM	#4
Amariden Ravenhill Wight Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In Mordor where the Shadows lie Posts: 113	A loud crash is heard in the White Citadel Arwen: ELDARION!!! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE VASE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THAT BOW IN THE HOUSE?!?! Eldarion: B-but mother, Legolas said the only way I'll get better at archery is if I practice! Dad said the same thing about using my sword! fingers the pommel in a Gollum-like manner Arwen: AHHHHHHH!!!! YOU'RE BECOMING JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER, UNCLES AND YOUR GRANDFATHER!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!! Eldarion: Eh.......speaking of Uncle Elrohir and Uncle Elladan, today they're going to take me orc-hunting with Dad!!!! runs out of the room cackling Arwen: ........ Eldarion may LOOK like an elf, but he has a human's brain..... __________________ Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.= I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head Utúlie'n aurë! Aiya Eldalië ar Atanatári, utúlie'n aurë!

04-24-2004, 12:37 PM	#5
Amariden Ravenhill Wight Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In Mordor where the Shadows lie Posts: 113	One day in Tuckburough, six year old Faramir Took made an interesting discovery..... Faramir: HEY DADDY! I'M REALLY SMART!!! Wanna hear me? Please? Please? Please? Pippen: Oh alright..... Faramir: Yay! Ok.....um..... Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis. Pippen: Wow…..that’s “You do not know the power of the Dark Side.” Faramir: Yep! sees Frodo Gamgee playing with marbles FRODO!!!! Frodo: Yeah? Faramir: Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! = I just said “May barbarians invade your personal space!" Frodo: THAT’S MEAN!!! pouts and starts playing with the little gold ring he found Yes, it is Latin that little Faramir Took is speaking! __________________ Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.= I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head Utúlie'n aurë! Aiya Eldalië ar Atanatári, utúlie'n aurë!

04-26-2004, 10:57 AM	#6
Vanwatholiel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a dark corner of my mind. Don't look at me like that! I never liked you anyway. Stop staring! Posts: 40	cool Alright guys, the responses have been hilarious so far. Thanks. I have another one. Gimli is brushing his looooooong beard, and he hits a snag (nap). "Ahhhhhhh!" Little Gimlion comes running. "Ada, what's wrong?" "What have I told you about that word? You are not Elvish." says Gimli. "But Ada, Uncle Leggy says I have an Elvish spirit." "So?" says Gimli. "Ahhhhhhhh!" (Giant ripping sound) "There. Got it out." "B-but dad, there is a huge bald spot on your chin!" "So? Go shoot some arrows or something. Learn some Elvish lessons. Just get out of my hair!" "But dad, what hair?" "Arrrgh!"

04-26-2004, 03:25 PM	#7
Olorin_TLA Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Gardens of Lórien, Valinor. Posts: 420	"Daddy Púrin, can I see our family tree?" "Of ocurse you can, Dúrin! First, there's Húrin, then Túrin, then Múrin, then Lúrin, then Cúrin, then Júrin, then Búrin, then Fúrin, then Súrin, then Zúrin, then Vúrin, then Núrin, then Uúrin, then Púrin, Dúrin...Ú-c-rin?" And don;t get me started on Húor's descendants... __________________ "For I am Olórin! And Olórin means me!" ELENDIL! - Join "Forth Tolkiengas!"

04-26-2004, 07:51 PM	#9
Vanwatholiel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a dark corner of my mind. Don't look at me like that! I never liked you anyway. Stop staring! Posts: 40	Looky here. (no, it's not a typo) Of course the members didn't have kids until after the War of the Ring. Hey, did Legolas or Gimli ever have kids? Dooes anybody know? Tell me!

04-26-2004, 08:28 PM	#10
Saraphim Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The other side of freezing. Posts: 404	Merry, Pippin and Gimli's kids would be the naughty type. They would sit around in a circle in the basement and smoke pipe-weed (true That 70's Show style) and convince little Legolas Jr to get them into the wine-cellar, because he is the only one of the offspring anyone trusts. Faramir's kids would be pyromaniacs because it skips a generation, and because of Eowyn's energetic DNA. But they would also be shy. Quite an odd mix. Morgoth's child would catch bugs and corrupt them. Where do you think mosquitos come from? I can imagine Sauron's kid being able to change forms, but he would end up as a little everything: a werewolf puppy, a vampire fledgling, a little fiery eye... Little Krima Wormtongue would throw things, valuable or not. __________________ I drink Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters! ~ Always remember: pillage BEFORE you burn.

04-27-2004, 04:50 AM	#11
nynnd1 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: england Posts: 64	I could see Legolas and Gimli adopting a child together, Legolas would dress him as an Elf and Gimli would feed him up on Miracle Beard Grow. __________________ I use my sword, narcatic, to uphold peace. Never for vengance.

04-27-2004, 11:37 PM	#12
tar-ancalime Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: abaft the beam Posts: 303	Gandalf, to his children: "Back in my day we knew what walking was. How do you think we got to school? That's right--we walked. Uphill both ways. In the snow. Barefoot. We didn't have fancy waggons or carriages. And that was after we did our chores." children: "But Dad, didn't you always get rides from Eagles and Mearas?" Gandalf: "Who told you that? That's not the point!"

04-30-2004, 12:42 PM	#14
Nimrothiel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Imladris Posts: 288	"...a little fiery eye..." Rofl! Hmmm, now whose kid(s) should I do? a ten-year old Elfwine can be seen riding a horse in the great hall; Faramir suddenly appears from a side door; Elfwine misses him but crashes into a statuette which shatters Faramir: "Elfwine! What have I told you about riding indoors?!" Elfwine: "Ummm, to always wear a helmet?" Faramir: "So why aren't you wearing one?" Elfwine: "Uhhh...." Faramir: "You had better hope that you're mother doesn't see this; she'll be furious." Eowyn: "See what, and why would I be furious?" Faramir turns around to see Eowyn standing with her arms crossed and a dangerous expression on her face Faramir: "Er....umm..." Eowyn spots Elfwine Eowyn: "Elfwine!! Did you leave your helmet at Eldarion's again?! That's the fifth time this month! Why can't you remember your things?!" Elfwine is turning red and slouching in his saddle; Eowyn spots the broken statuette Eowyn: "You broke my mother's favorite sculpture! How can you be so clumsy; you're a son of the House of Eorl for Helm's sake!" Elfwine looks for a convenient hole to crawl into; but Eowyn is far from finished Eowyn: "I suppose you forgot to polish your sword too, and your boots are absolutely filthy! No riding for a month, and you can't go to Eldarion's for twice that. When I think of all the trouble your father and I went through..." Note: Do not **** off your mom if she happens to be a princess/shieldmaiden; things could get ugly. __________________ "Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue

04-30-2004, 01:52 PM	#15
Hama Of The Riddermark Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 282	Eldarion is playing with a sword, hacking at a marble pillar, Arwen walks in, rushs over and snatches the sword out of his hands." Arwen: Now what did I tell you about playing with Anduril? Eldarion: Don't hit it against anything hard? A: And why's that? E: Because it'll break again, and then Sauron will come back and rule the world again, and then dad'll get killed. A: That's right, now go play with all the other nice children. E: Don't want to. A: Now don't ge tinto a sulk just because I don't let you play with Anduril, go and play. Eldarion walks off in a huff* Aragorn walks in, sees Arwen scowling, holding Anduril and standing next to the mangled marble pillar Aragorn: Jesus! Aragorn runs out

04-30-2004, 03:01 PM	#16
Olorin_TLA Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Gardens of Lórien, Valinor. Posts: 420	"Stewards of Gondor: The Early Years" This week...Denethor... Ecthelion: Bye bye now, Thorongil, see you soon! WHat's that? Yes, of course I love you! Yes, better than my own brats! See you real soon! Mwa mwa! Oh; Denethor. What a surprise! Hey! What have I told you about playing with tinder boxes, young man? Have you been skulking in Rath Dinen again? I told you to stay away from there! It's meant to be Silent! That's it, I'm sending you to the secret top room at the top of my Tower, without dinner! ANd don't try and play marbles again with the big ball! __________________ "For I am Olórin! And Olórin means me!" ELENDIL! - Join "Forth Tolkiengas!"

05-03-2004, 11:07 AM	#17
Vanwatholiel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a dark corner of my mind. Don't look at me like that! I never liked you anyway. Stop staring! Posts: 40	coolness Weeeee! Completely awesome responses guys and girls. Well, I take back what I said about Leggy being too clean and stuff, microscopic germ and everything. Forgive me my fellow LOTR obsessers. I have one! Soooo, as punishment, Aragorn goes and puts his kid at Helms Deep, and makes him spend the night there. Soooooo lame. I'm having brain blocks, that's why. Fare thee well! May the Grace of the Valar Be with you always, even until the Ending of the World. Amen. Namarie.

05-05-2004, 08:17 AM	#18
Olorin_TLA Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Gardens of Lórien, Valinor. Posts: 420	Aragorn's kids, in order to get their inheritance when their dad dies, have to spend one night...in a Haunted Paths of the Dead...scary!!! __________________ "For I am Olórin! And Olórin means me!" ELENDIL! - Join "Forth Tolkiengas!" Last edited by Olorin_TLA; 05-05-2004 at 08:26 AM.