The Hobbit Survivor

[Glirdan]

Welcome one and all to the third season (game) of Survivor!!! This game will have almost all the characters that were in or were named in The Hobbit (I think there were only one or two name I left out). I've been asked by a few people that I return to how the game was run by Boro and I will do exactly that.

Rules

1) Can't vote for more than one person. Retractable votes will be allowed until the final five.

2) You have to come up with a funny excuse for you reason to vote that person out. It can be an inside joke or something that everyone will get. It doesn't matter as long as it's comedic.

3) Lastly (and most importantly I might add), HAVE FUN!!!!!

The tribes are as follows:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Bungo Bagins
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bofur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Durin (The first King under the Mountain)
Dwalin
Fili
Fundin
Gloin
Kili
Nain (father of Dain)
Nori
Oin
Ori
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others

Gandalf
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Well, it's Day 1. Vote away!!! :D

Ps: I added Necromancer and Gollum to the Other tribe to even it out, or try to anyway. :rolleyes:

Pss: Just to let everyone know that end voting time will be at around 10pm Est time, -5GMT (if that's wrong Wilwa, correct me, or anyone else who is in my time zone)

[mormegil]

++Bilbo

He's a liar and a thief. His most heinous crime is of course stealing the ring from Gollum and lying to Gandalf about it then stealing the Arkenstone.

We need no such miscreant on this island.

[Holbytlass]

++Bombur

He's a fat sluggard, rather useless, eats more than his alotted rations. Must I remind everyone of his dismal performances at the challenges?! He's a disgrace to his tribe!!

[Farael]

His tribe needed to make fire yet he wouldn't even sneeze for them

[Gurthang]

Well, the Hobbit team seems a little up against the ropes for the start of the game, so I'll leave them alone.

Keep all the Dwarves for now, cause they're gonna win.

Let's get rid of The Master. He's just gonna end up swaying everyone in the wrong direciton later on. Better to get rid of him now.

++The Master

[Kitanna]

++Galion
For being a terrible butler, to a terrible elf.

[Celuien]

Too many Dwarves in this game. Let's even things out a bit...

++BOMBUR ...
...for sleeping through challenges, thereby forcing the rest of his team to pick up his tasks, stealing food from Bilbo, and generally whining far too much to be in a Survivor contest.

[Eonwe]

I say, let the axe fall on Thorin. He is vain, pompous, arrogent, and sullen most of the time. All he does is brood about bygone misdeeds done to his ancestors.

++Thorin

[Meneltarmacil]

I say

++Bombur,

as we really need to conserve food around here and he'll just be hogging it all. Plus, he's absolutely useless...unless everybody's really starving and desperately needs some extra meat. ;)

[Glirdan]

I will be voting and my votes will be biast, for the most part. :p So, my first vote will be towards

++Thorin

He's such a pompous arrogant little... GRR!!! Everytime they have a challenge, all he thinks about is himself!! He wants to win it, but he forgets that he has to work as a team with the other Dwarves to do it!!

[Anguirel]

With Thorin gone, the Dwarves will have no right to Smaug's treasure. Besides, he's essentially a decent type. He appreciates Bilbo when the burglar shows his quality, and he fights valiantly in the Battle of Five Armies.

I quite like Bombur, too, with his amusing dreams, so I shall vote for

++BOFUR

because he sounds like something out of Disney.

[Formendacil]

I'm all for being contrary, as usual.

I recommend thinning out that Dwarven tribe: it's far too large to be fair.

And no, by "thinning", I do not mean Bombur (although that would be an appropriate choice). Nay, I be thinking of Thrain, son of Thror, Last Keeper of the Ring of Durin.

Seriously, if Thorin was an arrogant old dwarf, then Thrain was worse. Where do you think Thorin got it from? Really, old Thrain was crazy. I mean, leading an attack on Azog et al simply for revenge? For YEARS? Not to mention stupidly falling into the Necromancer's hands...

Finally, we have Gandalf's word that he was nuts. Not just nots, but blitheringly, stupidly, insane.

It can only be:

++Thrain son of Thror

[The Saucepan Man]

Unquestionably, a Dwarf should go. There are too many of them by half. But let's keep in mind what this show is about - entertainment.

Bombur may be hopeless at the tasks, but he is great entertainment value. The way he huffs and puffs and grumbles his way through tasks. The way he falls asleep at amusing times and then has to be carried everywhere, giving rise to resentment and precipitating arguments. The way he surreptitiously scoffs all the food when no one else is looking (and we surely all know how much better these shows are when the food runs low). He is undoubtedly one of the large characters on the show, in every sense of the word, and should not go yet.

Thorin and Thrain are admittedly stubborn, obstinate and argumentative but the situations that these characteristics provoke, particularly with the Elves and Goblins, have given rise to some great viewing and will do so time after time. Again, they have character and should both stay for that reason.

Of course, most of the Dwarves are characters, to one degree or another. But there are two who have almost no character whatsoever. I don't think that I have even heard them speak, let alone say or do anything remotely entertaining. Indeed, I would be hard pressed to recall their names had Glirdan not kindly listed them above. I speak of none other than Bifur and Bofur. What is the point of these guys? Does anyone know anything about them at all?

It's difficult to choose between them, but since Bifur has the slightly more amusing name and because Bofur already has one vote against him, Bofur edges it for me.

++ BOFUR

[Tuor of Gondolin]

+ + The Bullroarer

Is there a more stupid game around then golf?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

++Golfimbul (that creep)

He is a "great" Orc who gets killed by a Hobbit.

Is there anything more imbarissing than get killed by a hobbit in a very silly way?

[Lalaith]

Thorin is a honey. Bombur's dreams are indeed amusing and his size actually disadvantages the dwarf team rather than the opposite so I see no point turfing him out yet.

++BOFUR

[Holbytlass]

I don't think Bombur should get anywhere near the final five, however, on further thoughts placed by others it is fun to have him about for entertainment value.

Did you see the looks on their faces when Bombur was describing his fanciful dreams of feasts and there is no more food won from the reward challenge because he ate the rest while the others were gathering wood?! (Of course, the only reason the dwarves won the challenge at all is because they made him sit out on account of uneven numbers).

So I change...

--Bombur

++Bofur

I still think we need to thin out the dwarves.

[Gurthang]

Very interesting Saucy, I am swayed.

--The Master
++Bofur

But mark my words: The Master will wreak havoc before the end!

[Celuien]

Hmm, quite interesting arguments have been presented for Bofur. I too am convinced.

--BOMBUR
++BOFUR

[Formendacil]

I still think that Thrain is more worthy of death than the others, being certifiably mad, but I do so want to see the Dwarven tribe thinned that I will recast my vote for that nameless menace, the dreaded Bofur... Who knows what he actually does in the story? Is he along for any good purpose, or is he a nefarious criminal, the real burglar of the expedition, intent on restoring the fortunes of Belegost and the renewal of his house with the gold Erebor?

-- Thrain ++Bofur

[Anguirel]

In addition, Bofur is the brother of Bombur. Perhaps his disappearance will transform Bombur into a vengeful warrior...

[Tuor in Gondolin]

As Mr. Spock would say:
"Anguirel, your logic is impeccable". So...
- - Bullroarer
+ + Bofur

[Glirdan]

Well, just because of Saucy's awsome point on how useless those two are...

--Thorin
++Bofur

[mormegil]

I see you all being stewed in SpM's Webs of deceit. I have no opinion on Bofur myself but come on let's think about what else Bilbo did. I really didn't want to pull out this weapon this early but I am now forced to soas we can get discussion about Bilbo underway.

He is the blasted person that wrote about Elves singing Tra-la-la-lally. Is this the kind of person we want on our Island here? He's obviously a slanderer and bigot. Then after this debasing writing he goes and lives with those whom he defaces, he's got a lot of nerve. He won't hesitate to back stab anyone to get to the top.

[Kath]

++BOFUR

I want to join in but had little time to formulate an argument, so I'll go with the crowd today. Saucepan 'brainwasher' man made some good points, and we need to get rid of some Dwarves straight off anyway.

[The Saucepan Man]

But mark my words: The Master will wreak havoc before the end!Oh, I do hope so. All the more reason for him to stay for now. :D

I can see that mormegil and I are going to cross swords on this thread before very long. Such slander ... :rolleyes: ;)

[Glirdan]

Well, it's the end of Day one and everyone decided to thin out the tribe of Dwarves. The first Dwarf to suffer the onslaught of the voters was Bofur the Untalkative. Here is some things said be the Swarven tribe: "I say, he is too quiet! We need someone who contributes positively to the tribe with ideas!! Not some quiet old fool who does nothing!!" one said. "Agreed!! Sure he helps out with the camp and the challenges, but that's it!! We need stratagey here people!! He doesn't contribute like that. Plus, his name sounds like it comes from Disney!!" (and this is where the other Dwarves look around confused and say "What in Eru's name are you talking about!?") It was an almost unanimous vote. Here's exactly the amount of votes:

Bilbo - 1
Bombut - 1
Smaug - 1
Galion - 1
Thorin - 1
Bofur - 10
Golfumbul - 1

As you see, he was quite unnumbered. Then, they all got a shock. Bofur actually spoke!! And this is what he had to say: "Good night!!" That's it!! Oh well, at least he spoke! :rolleyes:

Contestants voted out:
Bofur

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Bungo Bagins
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Durin (The first King under the Mountain)
Dwalin
Fili
Fundin
Gloin
Kili
Nain (father of Dain)
Nori
Oin
Ori
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Gandalf
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Vote away!!!

[Farael]

I'll have to go with Bert. He will not participate on the challenges during the day because "The doctor said he might be petrified :rolleyes: "

Hope I'm not making a fool of myself, Bert is the Troll, right?

[Anguirel]

I say we keep Dwarf mangling for a while. And I certainly wouldn't hurt one of the endangered Trolls.

Down with Fundin! He wasn't even on the Quest and is only shakily mentioned in genealogies! Nobody will miss him; Balin's much too old to have some ancient repressive father watching his every move...

++FUNDIN

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Have Thorin and Company left Bagend yet? if not,
you don't want to eliminate too many dwarves
since that would make Bilbo much less agitated
(less pillaging of his pantry- especially his cakes :( )
and hence less easily persuaded to go on the quest.

And shouldn't Galadriel and Saruman be in the game?
They presumably participated on the attack on the
Necromancer. Not to mention the nazgul.

I'll say + + William
He seems too nice, he doesn't even like to eat burrahobbits!

[Eonwe]

lets go with ++Gloin.

while his name does not sound quite Disneyish, it is arguably worse than Bofur's (which i quite liked, by the way :mad: ).

[Anguirel]

Only if you pronounce it incorrectly!

News just in-Fundin stands for Fund in Nurn. This Dwarven blackguard is clearly accepting subsidies in a dark pact with the Necromancer himself!

[Gurthang]

Oh, com'on! Bert is like the most loveable bag guy ever! You can't vote him out yet! ;)


I still say The Master should go, but I don't think my campaign has enough steam to go the distance.

But another dwarf will go, so let's see what we've got:

Balin - sounds like a crybaby. (<-----bad puns abound.)
Bifur - a bumbling baffoon.
Bombur - an ever-hungry bumbling baffoon.
Dain - who is this guy? Some town-maker or what?
Dori - put him on hinges in a doorway. (<------bad pun again.)
Durin - could endure to the end. (<------oh, another groaner.)
Dwalin - talks funny.
Fili - a 76er's fan, no doubt.
Fundin - I bet he's fun. (<-----bad, bad pun.)
Gloin - makes me think of groin....?
Kili - he's a killer, let him stay.
Nain - ????...?
Nori - blameshifter. [nor I] (<-----bad puns abound.)
Oin - just got hit in the groin. (<-----still abounding.)
Ori - what kind of name is Ori anyway
Thrain - well, he might have sthrain for victory. (<-----okay, that's the last one.)
Thorin - pompus windbag
Thror - what a boar. (<-----sorry, couldn't resist.)

So after that 'in depth analysis', I will go kick out the most fun/friendly/caring/peaceful dwarf and leave the bloodthirsty/offensive/deadly/egotistical/grumpy/stupid(/entertaining). With that in mind, I narrow it down to three.

Dain
Nain
Ori

That's tough, but I think I'll go with

++Ori

because he loves himself too much.

[mormegil]

++Durin

Though they call him the deathless his corpse is stinking rather badly and is distracting all.

Though I will be going for Bilbo soon!

[Formendacil]

Nain....

A homonym of "neighin' ", which clearly suggests that his name means "Old Horse Face" in Khuzdul. Clearly, an unsavoury character, and we have too many Dwarves as it is. And he ought to be dead by the time of The Hobbit anyway. Let's help him fulfill his destiny!

++Nain, son of Gror

[Glirdan]

And shouldn't Galadriel and Saruman be in the game?
They presumably participated on the attack on the
Necromancer. Not to mention the nazgul.

I guess, but were they mentioned in The Hobbit?


Hmmm. Who to go for. There's a long list gathering up here.

I think I'll go for

++Great Goblin

If he's so great, why did he go and get killed by a measely wizard?

[Meneltarmacil]

++Ori

Was there even a point to bringing him along? He contributed absolutely nothing to the Quest, as did quite a few other Dwarves on it. Come on, we need to get rid of some of these redundant characters!

[WaynetheGoblin]

I dont know why I didnt notice this was here but I will vote for a random.
++william
I picked a random villain I want the villains to lose.

[Anguirel]

To save William I will join Gurthang's campaign against the fairly nondescript Dwarf

++ORI

[Celuien]

I feel rather sorry for William myself. Poor little blighter. I suspect he's really not such a villain after all, just misunderstood and lonely.

++ORI

[Glirdan]

On second thought, I'm going to go after another useless Dwarf

--Great Goblin
++ Ori

I know I might be joining the bandwagon but I have another reason for voting for him. What kind of recorder ( I think) goes and gets himself killed by orcs in Moria. I mean come on!!

[The Saucepan Man]

I picked a random villain I want the villains to lose.Oh really? Why's that? As is traditional, I would rather the villains won. :smokin:

I most certainly agree that the Trolls are a class act, and therefore that none should be evicted just yet. They are, as it happens, rather accomplished chefs (speciality mutton garnished with Hobbits' toes), and so fulfil a useful function within the camp.

I also agree that we should continue to thin out the Dwarves. But I would question the today's bandwagon choice of Ori. Why single out one of those who accompanied Balin on his noble, though ill-fated, Quest to reclaim Mordor? Moreover, as Glirdan points out, he was a contributor to the celebrated Book of Mazarbul. Unlike Glirdan, however,I see that as a point in his favour. As a talented writer he will no doubt publish a behind-the-scenes expose of all the goings-on on the island, which will most likely prove to be sensational - provided he stays in, that is.

So I would rather vote for his decidedly dull and stay-at-home brother who is contributing little either to the camp or in entertainment value. I mean, out of the two brothers, who would you rather see go? The adventurous one who bravely stood in vain defence of Moria and left us the account of its last days or the dull one who just stayed at home to enjoy the rewards of the Quest of Erebor (to which he contributed little) and the accompanying prestige?

So my vote goes to:

++ NORI

[Meneltarmacil]

The Saucepan Man does have a point here. I forgot Ori was on the trip to Moria. And I was actually going to vote for Nori until the Ori bandwagon started rolling, so...

--Ori
++Nori

[Glirdan]

Stop voting. I will have the cast out post in a few minutes.

[Glirdan]

As was decided on the first Day, the Dwarf tribe was continually picked on. Ori more so than the rest. "Well what am I supossed to do?" he said when he was confronted by the rest of his tribe about his lack of helping around the camp, helping out with the challenges and plotting and stratagizing. "Well, you could start helping out more" was the response. "Well you could be looking towards Nori as well. He doesn't do a whole lot either!" This idea had thought brought to it, but it was mostly all about getting at Ori for his uselessness. That night, the voting turned out like this

Bert - 1
Fundin - 1
William - 2
Gloin - 1
Ori - 4
Durin - 1
Nain - 1
Nori - 2

With the final vote, Ori grabbed his things and left with a last parting shot at Balin: " Fine!! I guess you don't want all of this recorded now do you? And even if you did, I'm not doing it for you Balin! I quit!!!"

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Bungo Bagins
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Durin (The first King under the Mountain)
Dwalin
Fili
Fundin
Gloin
Kili
Nain (father of Dain)
Nori
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Gandalf
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Well everyone, it's Day 3. Have at it!!!

[mormegil]

++Durin again

Because I really don't know why he's hear, plus he stinks!

[Anguirel]

Let's finish what we started. Ori should have company from his family...

++NORI

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Ori, having been shockingly voted out, has apparently
been doing some research for a "tell-all" book and
has come up with some shocking revelations about
the true nature of William which may unsettle
his defenders above. Ori has uncovered some correspondence
by an Oxford professor with the opinion that the only
reason he didn't want to immediately eat the burrahobbit
was that he wasn't hungry!

Now, considering that Thorin and Company were close to
ditching Bombur when he woke up, it seems that he would
have been voted off sometime in the forest (with Bilbo
probably abstaining). So:
+ + Bombur

[Lalaith]

I think there's been enough dwarf-evicting for the time being.

++The Master

A most unappealing character.

[Anguirel]

I like him. I tend to like human rogues...alright, I tend to like rogues...I'll relinquish him when the time is right, but for now I must defend him, and Bombur and William, by a spot of bandwagonning...

--NORI, ++DURIN

[Kitanna]

++ Thorin

He gets on my nerves. And he thinks he is so superior to everyone else. No need for someone like that here. He does not play well with others.

[Eonwe]

Well, as my Thorin bandwagoning tactics have not seemed to be working, i will must look for an alliance.

++The Master

There is nothing so unsavory as a bad good guy!

[Lalaith]

Exactly. The Master is no glamorous dashing rogue, he is weak-willed, cowardly and sleazy.

[Anguirel]

I embrace them too; because no one else will.

Besides, the Master's one of the most representative human figures in Tolkien, and the sole representative of the merchant bourgeousie, a class from which half of me springs, the sharper, cannier half (not saying that much...) I want the Master to stay for the sake of political satire if nothing else...

[Eonwe]

merchant bourgeousie, huh? more like thieving rouge if you ask me.

[Anguirel]

Many indeed have equated those terms! Ah, Marx, what damage though hast wrought (pace Rune)...

[Lalaith]

Thieving rouge, was he? That's more grist to the mill.... ;)

[Anguirel]

Eonwe, you're, groan, mixing him up with Legolas...

[Meneltarmacil]

I stick to what I said earlier. These redundant dwarves have got to go, and fast with While Thrain, Fundin and the other ancestors probably have some insight to offer and several of the dwarves on the Quest contributed a lot, there are still some who are downright useless (Ori was one of these then, but he did redeem himself by going to Moria later).

In order from most helpful/important to "useless guy just along for the ride" in my opinion, the thirteen Dwarves from the Quest (Moria factored in):

Thorin
Balin
Gloin
Dori
Oin
Ori (voted off)
Fili
Bombur
Dwalin
Kili
Bifur
Bofur (voted off)
Nori

As Nori is dead last in terms of usefulness, having very few lines and contributing pretty much nothing,

++Nori

[The Saucepan Man]

++ NORI

Same reasons as yesterday. It is a scandal that his more adventurous brother was voted out before him.

Once he's gone, I might consider looking to tribes other than the Dwarves. But I'll not stand by idly while the wonderfully comedic Stone Trolls are victimised (the show needs as much humour as it can get). And, as far as the Master is concerned, I'm with Anguirel. He built Esgaroth up to be a place of great prosperity, in which all of its citizens shared. And, even if he did share in it to a greater degree than others, he had earned the right to do so by virtue of his contribution to creating the wealth in the first place. His entrepreneurship should be applauded, not castigated. Bilbo, while a noble fellow and a talented teller of tales did make the unfortunate mistake of portraying only one side of the Master's persona.

[The Saucepan Man]

Ai! Just realised my vote could result in the Master being evicted on a tie.

-- NORI
++ DURIN

In an attempt to save the Master - for the reasons stated above.

[Formendacil]

As much as I despise the Master, he's good for the ratings, and the Dwarves still need some culling.

What's more, their is, in fact, good reason for evicting Nori.

As everybody interested in Dwarves knows, the names of the Dwarves as we know them are not their true, secret names in Khuzdul, but rather, they are names adopted in the fashion of the surrounding Mannish languages (in this case, Old Norse) for the purposes of identification in the greater world.

I wish to point out to you the great similarity in sounds be "Nori" and "Snori". One could easily say that "Nori" is a shortening of "Snori", which is this Dwarf's actual outer name. Now, the reason for the adoption of "Snori" as this Dwarf's outer name has to do with his abrasive-sounding breathing when at sleep, but even more because of his fondness for sleep itself.

Clearly, this is a most lazy and annoying Dwarf, and should really be removed.

++(s)Nori

[arcticstorm]

I would have to vote for ++ Bungo Baggins as he is not adventurous at all,a nd is trying to supress his son

[mormegil]

To those troll fans I am interested in keeping them around too. I will aid that cause when needed.

[The Saucepan Man]

What's more, their is, in fact, good reason for evicting Nori.Hmm. With that vote, I could change mine back. But I think that I'll stick with Durin for now. He really has no business in the Hobbit Survivor. If Nori is a peripheral character, Durin is a practically non-existant one.

And, as mormegil pointed out, he stinks. :D

[Glirdan]

Well, I think a few of you will be happy with this vote

++Nori

Because we need to get rid of the usless people and get rid of some Dwarves. So as of now, voting stops. I will have the cast out post in a few minutes.

[Glirdan]

The third Day was quite eventful. The tirade to get rid of the Dwarves continued and they managed to get rid of two of them in one go! Not that it's really surprising. The first was Durin. "You're supposed to be dead!!" one said. "And you stink!" said another. "Well, what about Nori? What about the usless Dwarves?" he replied to the questions posed. That created some conflict. Some wanted Nori out because of his uselessness (he's more useless than his brother!) and some wanted to get rid of Durin because of the fact that he's supposed to be dead. " I have an idea!" one yelled. "Let's do a double lynch!!... I mean a double cast off!!" This was met with imediate applause and approval. The voting went as thus:

Durin - 3
Nori - 3
Bombur - 1
The Master - 2
Thorin - 1
Bungo - 1

"Well, I have never seen a more idiotic group of people!!" yelled and outraged Durin. "I will leave of my own free will!!" With that, he crumbled into dust and sank back into the ground where he belonged. As for Nori, he quietly picked up his things and left, saying nothing to know one. He then wandered into Middle-Earth searching for his brother Ori (who unfortunately got killed by orcs before he even made it to Moria).

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Bungo Bagins
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Fundin
Gloin
Kili
Nain (father of Dain)
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Gandalf
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Day 3 had a little turn of events that I hope you are pleased with. Day 4 starts. Vote away!!! :D

[Anguirel]

Now to have at Fundin, another uninteresting corpse, and proven to be in the Necromancer's pay...

++FUNDIN

[WaynetheGoblin]

Gandalf already got his chanc in lotr suviver it isnt fare.
++gandalf, the white.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

And Gandalf left without warning Thorin and Company of the
change in the Forest Path, with no mention of the Giant
Spiders, how to kiss up to Legolas's daddy,etc. :mad: So:

+ + Gandalf (The Grey, actually)

[Farael]

As you don't want to have Gandalf getting mad at you, I wouldn't vote him out... and therefore I'll help his cause by voting

++Fundin

He's useless anyway.

[The Saucepan Man]

As you don't want to have Gandalf getting mad at you, I wouldn't vote him out ..On the contrary, it always amuses me to see Gandalf go early. :D

And, as Tuor in Gondolin points out, he keeps mysteriously disappearing at the most inopportune of times. Which means that he's really not contributing much to the show at all.

++ GANDALF

[Eonwe]

yes, but he always returns in the nick of time. not to mention that he "disappeared" after telling the dwarves repeatedly it was going to happen. and not to mention the fact taht he was never beholden to go on the journey anyway; he was just helping out some friends.

i gotta run, but if anyone wants to join me in voting for thorin or the master...

[Lalaith]

Oh, I'll be delighted to vote for the Master with you, Eonwe, as long as you leave poor misunderstood Thorin alone.
++The Master

[Gurthang]

Yes! People finally want the master gone!

++The Master

Rally to the bandwagon! :D

[Formendacil]

"Rally to the bandwaggon!" you say...

Very well, I shall.

I, not unlike the Man of Saucepans, am easily amused by the early eviction of the normal favourites, and after a few days of Dwarf-bashing, I feel enough in the mood for a break from that, and being desirous of keeping the Master in the competition, I shall make a case against Gandalf (the Grey).

First of all, this "conjurer of cheap tricks", completely apart from chronically abandoning heroic quests, is living under several assumed names. I have it under the highest authority that "Gandalf the Grey" is, in fact, one alias among many. He is also known to run scams under the names of "Mithrandir", "Tharkun", and "Incanus". Digging through the registry shows that he is, in fact, one "Olorin of Valinor", who was exiled from that land by King Manwe Sulimo himself, in the company of several other reprobates, including a would-be Dark Lord.

Furthermore, many have attested to the digusting "uncloaking" habit of 'Gandalf the Grey', a habit that seems to be prompted by the foulness of his aged attire.

He is a known druggie, highly fond of the Hobbit "weed".

He's also an arsonist, with several fire-related charges to his (various) name(s).

Let's get rid of this blight on society:

++ Gandalf the Grey

[Meneltarmacil]

I am not going to let Gandalf be evicted. He's the best chance at making fire anyone has, and his wise advice is definitely worth listening to.

++Fundin

[Anguirel]

Normally I must say I'd happily join the Gandalf bandwagon, but I'm rather flattered to have (accidentally) triggered its rival. And most of the Dwarves, Thorin's line excepted, bore me...

So. Fundin. What's wrong with him?

Well, using the logic of Formendacil's linguistics, he clearly either possesses funds or raises them. Who knows what seditious cause he is lending his financial aid to? (I have my suspicions.) This is naturally why he likes to keep in the shadows and remain enigmatic, like all the best financial backers.

His son Balin seems to think that the Ring of Thrain is in Moria somewhere. Who could have misled him in this serious way, sending him chasing after a fictional goal and awaking a Balrog? Why not his sly father...

Fundin, besides, is at least rumoured to be dead, and yet along with several other historical anomalies he is still contesting. Hmmm, who in this competition is capable of raising the dead? I wonder. A clear link to the darkest of powers from this malicious, avaricious Dwarf!

His son's quite decent. Best to remove the father before he becomes a bad influence.

[Glirdan]

I'd rather see Gandalf and The Master in it and get rid of another Dwarf, whoever it may be. The Dwarf list is a little long (my fault, I know, I just wanted to make the game a little longer) and I rather enjoy having most of those Dwarves, except for Fundin and Nain. So, to join the cause of saving Gandalf, for the time being, i will vote

++Fundin

Just a little more information for everyone. I will be doing an after Survivor Party, just as Ang did, where you will learn the fate of everyone. So far, you know what's happened to three of them. I'll let you know what happened to Bofur, eventually. :p :D

[Eonwe]

i really must protest teh outrageous charges leveled at Olorin of Valinor. great rehtoric, but like most, is, at best, sadly misguided, and, at worse, quite blatantly malevelent.

'exiled' is hardly the term to be used for one sent on so secret a mission. 'chronically abandoning heroic quests' you say? and for what perpose, i might inquire? to do battle with darker powers, for the good of all. 'arsonist', eh? how do you figure? gandalf was happily providing that needed fire for teh good of the tribe.

i hope you can see taht these charges are grossly inflated, if not completely groundless.

but if you will turn you attention to more worthy business, im sure you will find that misdeeds and bad character abound in our Master. this is supposed to be a team game. who wants some high-handed leader directing us into what is obviously for our detriment, but his gain? awhile back, i heard someone mention something about 'enjoying the fruits of his honest labor'. hardly. more like opening pilfering teh honest labor of others.

as for ratings, who wants to see the dark depths of some corrupted character audaciously ripping off his comrades? much better the shining hero uniteing his tribe and leading them toward victory.

++The Master must go!

[WaynetheGoblin]

--gandalf, the GREY
++themaster
I much as I want gandalf gone I have to vote for the person that is getting all the votes.

[Glirdan]

Wayne, that is not a good excuse for changing your vote. I will not accept an excuse like that for your vote. So, your vote is still for Gandalf.

On that note, I'd have to disagree with all the Gandalf voters. If they didn't have Gandalf, the Dwarves never would have made it to Rivendell, they would have been squashed by William, Bert and Tom. I say we keep him and once again, get rid of the usless. Of course I am talking about none other than Fundin and Nain. Yes they're old and might provide some good insight, but the bring nothing to the game. They're both old and dry!! They have no excitment in them. I say we send them to be with Durin, in the ground!!!

[Boromir88]

I disagree with the voting off of The Master. So what the guy is a pompous, greedy, jerk. The biggest thing about losing The Master is the Man Tribe is in total disarray because of the constant bickering between The Master and Bard, you know how high ratings for Survivor has increased since these two have gone at eachother's throats? A bunch! No, The Master must stay, he's far too good for the ratings, and that's the only reason you keep people around, is how they appeal to the public. If you keep on the jerks, more people will watch just to see him lose in the end. :p

So, I must vote for ++Fundin, there's still too many dwarves. :D

[Holbytlass]

++Fundin

I don't want to add a new name at this point and I like watching Gandalf get out of chores by boring people with his full of wisdom speeches, and The Master get out of chores by sneaking off (we have a running bet of how long it takes his tribe to notice he's gone again)

[arcticstorm]

Once again, I am going to vote for ++Bungo as he is trying to stifle the entire hobbit tribe

[Glirdan]

Ok, everyone stop voting. I'll have today's cast out post ina few minutes.

[Glirdan]

The onslaught against the Dwarves progressed through to Day 4. There was, however, lots of talk about stopping the onslaught and continuing onto the other tribes. The two victims of this onslaught were Gandalf and The Master. However, Fundin was the one whom everyone wanted to see leave. "He's so old and dry" one said. "He's so uninteresting!!" said another. "But what about Gandalf and The Master?" Fundin said, attempting to shift the votes. "Gandalf left the Dwarves and Bilbo so many times!" "Yes, but he did warn them. And he's the only one who can make fire." one said in response. "What about the The Master? He's keeps sneaking off and only cares about himself!" Fundin cried, once again trying to shift the votes. "True, but we'd rather keep him to the finals. We'd have a better chance at winning agaisnt someone no one likes." another responded. The voting of day 4 went as thus:

Fundin - 6
Gandalf - 4
The Master - 3
Bungo - 1

Even though he did manage to change a few minds, Fundin was the next cast out. "Fine!! I shall go, yet this is not the last you have heard of me!!" With that, he sank into the ground, not alive yet not quite dead. He still had revenge to fufill on those who voted him out...

Contestants voted out:
ut:Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Bungo Bagins
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Nain (father of Dain)
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Gandalf
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Day 4 has come to an end. Day 5 starts. Start voting!!!

[mormegil]

What Gandalf isn't here to defend himself again?

++Gandalf

[arcticstorm]

And again, I am going to try to get rid of the only person who is holding Bilbo back, ++Bungo. As long as he is there, Bilbo will be a big bore. Once he is gone, Bilbo's tookishness can start to come out, especially under the influence of his anscestor who invented golf using an orc's head.

[Anguirel]

++BALIN

Stupid smug Father Christmas/Snow White hybrid. He must be dispatched!

[The Saucepan Man]

Once I get an idea in my head, it's diffcult to shake it.

++ GANDALF

For all the reasons already stated by those who voted for him yesterday. And not only does he mysteriously sneak off at critical moments. When he is participating he is holding the other contestants back. They simply rely on his magic, and so their ingenuity and skills are not being tested. It's all very well magically kindling the firewood, but I'd like to see them try lighting a fire in the rain without Gandalf to help them. And his tricksy way with words is displaying itself in very sly behaviour. He has already tricked the Trolls into giving him all their mutton rations, and he had Beorn completely confused about the number of contestants left. He is a dangerous fellow and needs to be removed in order that other, more worthy, contestant may shine.

[Glirdan]

I'm going to go after the last useless Dwarf.

++Nain

With Nain around, we'll never get to see Dain do anything. He's being held back by his stupid (dead), dry old father. I say out with him.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

+ + Gandalf

As SpM points out, Gandalf is really tricksey, precious.
And there is an ethical question which Smeagol the
Half-Wise, granted with perhaps an ax (get it- dwarves! :D )
to grind is going to point out in a future Oprah
interview telling the "real story" of The Ring:

Gandalf unethically dragged an inoffensive hobbit into
a frighteningly dangerous quest against the hobbit's
wishes. And who's to say Bilbo couldn't have handled
three strong (but remarkably dim) stone trolls?
Not only that, it was undoubtedly sly Gandalf who
convinced Bilbo to rewrite the tale of getting the
Ring away from poor Smeagol, who actually apologized
to Bilbo and showed him the way out of the caves!

Perhaps some wise maia, oh, say, Saruman, could lead
the defense against The Necromancer.

[Boromir88]

Hmmm, I like the case that's being made against Gandalf, and I like arctic's argument against Bungo. But for right now I'm going to go with...

++Gandalf

[Formendacil]

I've already voted for the old druggie, criminal of many aliases, and uncloaking hazard, but that was yesterday, so I'll do it again today...

++Gandalf the Grey

[Glirdan]

Wow, it's been very silent today. And I see that my vote for Nain was pretty much usless.

--Nain
++Gandalf

His uncloaking is getting rather annoying. Besides, I'd like to see what's going to happen with the Necromancer. Gandalf was the only one who could kind of control him.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I can't see how your vote becomes more usefull by useing it on Gandalf. . . It changes nothing!

Before you made a statement about who you found should be sendt home, now it seems like your just going with whats popular. (maybe it is just me who thinks so)

As Glirdan statet before he is useless and has got to go.

++Nain

I can't remember what time the voting stops, hope I am not to late.

[Glirdan]

YAY!!! SOMEONE WHO WILL JOIN ME!!!

--Gandalf
++Nain

I was just doing that because my case was hopeless. But now, someone joined me!! Together, we will bring him down!!!

[Meneltarmacil]

I can't resist attempting to get rid of yet another redundant dwarf, plus I think Gandalf really should stick around.

++Nain

[Glirdan]

Well, voting is over. Cast out post in a few minutes.

[Glirdan]

Today was a very subdued day. Not a whole lot of talking went on, yet almost everyone was thinking the same thing. "Let's get rid of Gandalf" This, of course was met with a quite a bit of enthusiasm. They were getting sick and tired of voting out the Dwarves anyway. "But why me?" Gandalf asked. 'What about Nain? He's such a dry, old, usless, not to mention, dead. Why not get rid of him?" he asked. "Well, because, we could use his insight and experience for a few days. Besides, you keep disappering when we need you. No one in the tribe does anything because they rely on your magic and we want ratings to go up because you're subduing the Necromancer!!" everyone responded. That night, the voting went like this:

Gandalf - 5
Bungo - 1
Balin - 1
Nain - 3

Some people were persuaded in voting for Nain, yet Gandalf go the over-all votes. He was the next cast away. "You'll all regret the day you- AHHHHH!!!!" He didn't get to finish his scentence as he fell into the darkness, with a Balrog falling after him.

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Bungo Bagins
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Nain (father of Dain)
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Day 5 comes to a close and Day 6 begins. Vote away!!

[arcticstorm]

As I can see I am living in a lonely little world where no one else even seems to pay attention to hobbits, I will move off of them for a while and look to another person who is undesirable on the island. A person who keeps getting drunk on wine, he is vulnerable to the drink. This is none other than the infamous butler to Thranduil. He has been lowering ratings because whenever we get a hot of him, he is either drinking or in a drunken stupor.
++Galion

[The Saucepan Man]

There are still too many of them.

And, if previous days' voting is anything to go by, the most likely to go is

++NAIN

Another contestant who contributes little, has nothing useful to say for himself and should never have been in the show in the first place. There are a number of worthy contestants in the Dwarvish tribe, but the preponderance of those who add little is holding them back. By getting rid of the useless Dwarfs, we can allow the more intersting ones to shine.

[Celuien]

++NAIN

I agree that he is entirely useless. Worse than useless, in fact. With nothing to do, he's decided to make himself a nuisance by pulling such silly pranks as leaving tacks on Bombur's seat, attempting to pick Bilbo's pockets in an out-burgle-the-burglar contest and writing insulting notes to the Trolls. While everyone is distracted by Nain's nonsense, the important business of working on the challenges is being ignored. He has to go.

[Glirdan]

I'm going to vote for the same person as yesterday. The usless, old, dry and not mention dead, Nain.

++Nain

His insight and experience is no longer needed.

[Holbytlass]

The dwarves still need thinning out, and I'm sure Nain will go today. I want to draw everyone's attention to Dain.

He is very powerful and a good dwarve, I would consider him to be in the top 5 for he does deserve it but unfortunately, he has allied himself with Thorin whom I don't see deserving to win.

Dain is persuasive and holds to his promise, so I see him getting Thorin to the end. I say vote out Dain and then Thorin will be much weaker so he should go next.

++Dain

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

If you like Dain that much why not vote for Thorin ?

++Nain

He is not crunchy enough. . .

:rolleyes:

[Kitanna]

++ Thorin
All I see is a self-centered leader, who would rather bring down and threaten those who try to help him, when he should be commending them.

[Boromir88]

I can go for another dwarf...

++Nain

[WaynetheGoblin]

Bandwagganing Time!!!
++nain

[mormegil]

I say it's time the little hobbit got his comeuppance

++Bilbo

Little heartless thief...taking from Gollum the only thing the poor wretch cared about.

[Glirdan]

Ok, voting is over. Cast out vote in a few minutes.

[Glirdan]

After yesterdays turn around vote for Gandalf, the Dwarf purging continued. The one to suffer this time was Nain, who was victim to a few votes yesterday due to Gandalf. Today, everyone thought it best to get rid of him for his uslessness. "Gandalf was right, you really are a dry, old, useless, not to mention dead, Dwarf!" one cried. "It's definetly your turn to go." The voting that night was not at all surprising:

Galion - 1
Nain - 6
Dain - 1
Thorin - 1
Bilbo - 1

To no one's surprise, Nain was the one to go. "Fine!" he cried. " You will lose all the insight and knowledge that I hold!" "Who cares?" they responded. "We got rid of Dain, didn't we?" With that last insult, Nain turned away and started walking away. Then, a strange gust of wind came and he was gone, never to be seen again.

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Bungo Bagins
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Day 7 starts...As soon as you reach the end of this post!! :D :p

PS: If you guys don't mind, I'd like a little feedback on what you think of the way I'm doing this. Is there anything you want me to add? Anything need to be taken out? Just let me know by posting it or PMing me. Don't worry, I don't bite!! ;)

[Holbytlass]

++Dain

He needs to be gotten rid of first, because even if Thorin goes (I would be happy) Dain will just allign himself with some other undeserving player!

[The Saucepan Man]

What about that Chief of Guards? Has he made any useful contribution so far? We don't even know his name, for goodness sake. All he seems to have done so far is criticise Bard for being dour and serious. Well, at least Bard is getting on with his camp duties and contributing to the tasks. He made an excellent showing in the archery task. I think that this nameless Chief of Guards is someone who we can happily do without.

++ CHIEF OF GUARDS

[Tuor in Gondolin]

While Galion is deserving (via incompetence,
inebriation, and drinking the king's wine) of
going, what about the Elvenking? Greedy
and probably so much of a control freak that
he'll drive his son to leave Mirkwood for
Rivendell (and start wearing blond wigs).
So:

+ + The Elvenking

[arcticstorm]

I will once again get back to my original fight to get rid of the most boring character on the island, none other than the bad old Bungo Baggins
++Bungo

[Eonwe]

hmmmm. i believe you have a point tehre arcticstorm. with bungo gone, bilbo will lose much of his timidity and retisence.

++Bungo Baggins

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Well, it's hard to argue that Bungo Baggins
is not boring, and with a really irritating
name. So:

- - The Elvenking

and

+ + Bungo Baggins

[mormegil]

Well since my Bilbo wagon doesn't seem to picking up much steam I will try

++Beorn

Untrusty and dim-witted. I mean he's a shapeshifter living among these others and we haven't gotten rid of him. You know what happens to shape shifters on other games...they are lynched and yet he continues to become a bear and we all sit around smiliing about it.

Also, the dumb characters are fun for a day or two but soon their incompentence begins to get annoying and pull down ratings so it's time for this nincompoop to leave.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

wow thats odd!

I actually agree with Sauce Pan in a survivor thread.

++ CHIEF OF GUARDS

He wont tell his name and don't do anything at all. Death by cudgel is what he deserves. :mad:

[WaynetheGoblin]

I dont like hobbits.
++bungo baggins
A hobbit won lotr survovor a bad guy or dwarf should win.

[Glirdan]

Well, I'm not going to vote because my vote would be useless. So, voting will be stopping now. And I'm surprised that I got no feedback at all! But I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Oh well... (This is not a pity card I'm pulling, it's the "oh my! i didn't get anything!" card).

[Glirdan]

Day seven was a very wierd day. The votes were cast out and were very spaced apart. However, a Hobbit was the victim of that day's criticisim. "You're holding me back dad!" Bilbo yelled at Bungo. "But son, I'm just trying to keep you form getting hurt!" "You need to stop sheltering him from the world, dear." Belladonna told her husband. "You need to let him go." That night, the votes went as follows:

Dain - 1
Chief of Guards - 2
Bungo - 4
Beorn - 1

Bungo Baggins was the one to get the boot. "He's holding me back!" Bilbo cried. " He's boring!" others cried. "And he's a Hobbit! I mean, come on!" some crazy person yelled. "Fine, be like that!" Bungo yelled. With that, he left and boarded the boat. Unfortunately, the boat tipped over and he fell in the water, and as we all know, Hobbits can't swim.

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Day 7 has come to a close. Day 8 begins.

[arcticstorm]

Now that we haev evicted one thorn in the side and Bilbo now has the opportunity to become the adventurer he needs, we still have a hoodlum on the island who never does anything but spend his days at the bottle. I am talking about the butler Galion. For the reason that he is always in a drunkon stupor, I vote to evict
++Galion

[The Saucepan Man]

At least Galion, with his drunken escapades, is amusing. Unlike the

++ CHIEF OF GUARDS

... for whom I am voting for the same reasons as stated yesterday. So dull, they didn't even bother telling us his name.

[Anguirel]

I say Roac. His attempted scavenging of contestants as they sleep, under the impression that they're dead, is neither seemly nor desirable.

++ROAC

(Incidentally-my connection has been dead for a few days. But I have returned, mightier than ever before...)

[Boromir88]

I'll follow along with Sauce. If they don't give a guy a name, he's got to die, hasn't anyone seen Star Trek?

++Chief of Guards

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

++Chief of Guards

I told why yesterday, the only thing I will repeat is: Use a cudgel

[Eonwe]

'Chief of Guards' my foot! I see no guarding being done. In fact, all I see is perecious food being 'imporperly distributed' (aka eaten by the Chief of Guards, and probably The Master). This cannot be tolerated!

++Chief of Guards.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

++ CHIEF OF GUARDS

... for whom I am voting for the same reasons as stated yesterday. So dull, they didn't even bother telling us his name.

Sort of like Guy in Galaxy Quest, who in the original series was
(guard # 3?) and didn't make it to the first commercial. :D

So: + + Chief Of Guards

[Kath]

If they don't give a guy a name, he's got to die, hasn't anyone seen Star Trek?
Is he dressed in red as well? :p

++Chief of Guards
To go along with the crowd.

[mormegil]

++Beorn

The shape-shifter must die....I mean go

[WaynetheGoblin]

No name no game.
++chief of guerds
He dosent stand a chanch.

[Anguirel]

I'm swayed by morm.

Beorn is an obnoxious, violent, hooligan with an antitolerant attitude.

He's a vegetarian.

He runs a vegan farm looked after by talking animals.

I imagine he has an irritating Hagrid-like yeaarrrgh voice.

A mere furrier! Do away with the insufferable Middle-earth Dr Dolittle!

--ROAC, ++BEORN

[Celuien]

Hmm. I'm torn. Do I vote for the nameless, red-shirted security officer who's bound to die at some point in the show anyway (how did he survive this long?), or for the shape-shifter, who's probably going to cause trouble by changing form into another contestant, the Chief Warg, perhaps?

I think that just decided it. Shape-shifters are interesting to have around for their unpredictablity, but the Chief of Guards is nothing more than a glorified extra.

++CHIEF OF GUARDS

[Kitanna]

++ Thorin

I still think we should get rid of this stubborn leader of the dwarves.

[Glirdan]

Ok, voting is closed. Cast out vote in a few minutes.

[Glirdan]

Day turned out to prove, once again, that people were over the Dwarf purgery. Today's victim: The Chief of Thranduil's guards. "He is such a drunkard!" The Galion, Thranduil's Butler, stated. "You're one to talk!" The Chief retorted. "Well, you let little thieves come in and steal food! Not to mention you're the one responsible for the keys of the cells. Who's fault is it that the Dwarves were able to escape?" Bilbo stated. That night, the votes were pretty much all the same:

Galion (Thranduil's butler) - 1
Chief of Guards - 8
Beorn - 2
Thorin - 1

Of course, the namless Chief of Guards was the one cast out. In addition to his cast out, Thranduil had one last punishment to give: " My Chief of Guards (what is your name anyway? :confused: )! For letting prisoners escape (and being a drunkard), you are hereby banished from the realm of the Wood Elves of Mirkwood along with all other Elven kingdoms and tribes!! Go!" With that, the namless Chief left in shame.

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Day 8 has ended. Day 9 begins.......................NOW!!! :p :D

[mormegil]

++Beorn

Again!

[Kitanna]

Once again:
++ Thorin

[mormegil]

--Beorn

++Thorin

In hopes of a mutual friendship

[Tuor of Gondolin]

+ + Thror

Isn't he dead already? So it shouldn't be
too painful for him.

[Celuien]

+ + Thror

Isn't he dead already? So it shouldn't be
too painful for him.

I believe he is. Or should be, unless the Necromancer has been at work. :eek:

++THROR

No more excuses for Bilbo to say "I see dead people."

[Anguirel]

The Chief of Guards was condemned for being nameless despite his amusing drunken frolics. How much worse is it to be provided with a name but still refuse to do anything?

++BIFUR

[The Saucepan Man]

Failed to protect Erebor against a Draconian invasion and ended up having his head autographed by a Goblin. How ignominious is that?

His efforts on the island have been characterised by equally appalling incompetence. He's an embarassment to his son and grandson, neither of whom wants to be associated with him, and so he's holding the Dwarf tribe back. He should go now without further ado.

++ THROR

He won't be missed.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Failed to protect Erebor against a Draconian invasion and ended up having his head autographed by a Goblin.


Given that golf was invented by a hobbit, could it be that
tattooing was invented by an orc?

[Eonwe]

yay, another one joins our loose confederation!

++Thorin

you know why...

ps. i can't say as i can condone any eviction order sent to Beorn. I find you charges against him quite unsatasfactory, morm. though i do appreciate the support agianst thorin...

[Anguirel]

To save poor Thorin, I shall reluctantly join the persecution of his luckless ancestor, though why you lot are leaving the talentless cretins like Bifur or Dwalin alone is beyond me...

--BIFUR, ++THROR

[Celuien]

To save poor Thorin, I shall reluctantly join the persecution of his luckless ancestor, though why you lot are leaving the talentless cretins like Bifur or Dwalin alone is beyond me...

--BIFUR, ++THROR

Patience, Ang, patience. Before long, Bifur will be gone, I'm sure. I just think that dead dwarves should be evicted before Bifur. And Bifur's name is more fun than Thror's.

[Lalaith]

Thror was a great casus belli, I don't want to vote for him.
But I will if Thorin is in danger. When does voting close.

[mormegil]

Well at a minimum my vote for Thorin has ruffled some feathers. :p

[WaynetheGoblin]

Thorin is already a king what else does he need a million dollers give it to somebody else.
++thorin

[arcticstorm]

I have to go with Sauce today. Thror needs to go he is very greedy and proud. He tried to attack the moria tribe single-handadly. And why? for a bunch of gold all for himself!!!!
++Thror

[mormegil]

Well Articstorm then Thorin decided to take on a dragon for his own selfish desire. Then what does he do? Let the town get attacked and let them handle his dragon.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

++Thorin

Come on Oakenshield ! ! ! Why not somthing cool like Bonsai-Helmet ?

[Glirdan]

sorry I'm so late with this. I didn't have access to the computer until now (We were watching Elf). I'll have the post up as soon as I tally the votes.

Well, it looks like I have a tie to break. So, I will do a toin coss. Heads is Thorin, tails is Thror.

And it was heads. So,

++Thorin

[Glirdan]

That night, the Dwarves were the victims of toment. Thror and his grandson Thorin to be more specific. "Thror, you're supposed to be dead! Why are you alive?" one asked. "Well, why is my son alive? Why were Nain and Dain alive? Answer me that!" Thror responded. "Good point. I say we pick on Thorin instead!" That night, cast out and it was down to a tie, until the last person came in (rather late I must add (SORRY!!!)) and the votes were as thus by the end:

Thorin - 6
Thror - 5

Thorin was the one to be evicted that night. "But why?" he asked. "Because you're a selfish, greedy and ignorant Dwarf!" they responded. "Fine!! If you want to evict me, I'll take this announcer with me!!" With that, he leapt up and grabbed the announcer and held a dagger to his throat and backed up slowly. As soon as he reached the fringe of the woods, he pushed the announcer away and began to run. However, he didn't get very far. As soon as he pushed the announcer away, and launched spears at his back and he fell, dead.

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Day 10 begins.

[Anguirel]

Tempted as I am to immediately gun for Bilbo in revenge for the fallen King under the Mountain, I ought to stick to my indictments and pursue the mediocre ++BOFUR.

Still, if anyone's up for Hobbit bashing I'm ready and willing...fat little elephantiasised sentimental bumpkin Middle England Daily Mail reading scum...

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Still, if anyone's up for Hobbit bashing I'm ready and willing...fat little elephantiasised sentimental bumpkin Middle England Daily Mail reading scum...
Well, Anguirel shouldn't believe everything the S.-B.'s say.
But then again, if an eagle should "slip" and make mashed
hobbit it would be interesting to see just how far the eight
dwarves would get. So hasta la vista

+ + Bilbo Baggins

[mormegil]

++Bilbo

Thief and sneak it is.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

And let's not forget how Thief Baggins slandered poor
Smeagol, who only wants to help, claiming nice Smeagol
didn't apologize and helped him find the way out, how
Baggins took the precious after cheating at the riddle game. :mad:

[mormegil]

Don't forget stealing the Arkenstone, the one possesion that Thorin desired, yet he callously and knowningly took it and didn't disclose it. Then he uses it as leverage against him, the dwarf who helped him get rich and famous.

[Anguirel]

Believe me, my disdain covers all Hobbit kind-Tooks occasionally excepted. Actually, Bilbo's better than most, but I can't think of a better way to irritate the taseless band of guano-eaters who evicted Thorin Oakenshield...

--BIFUR, ++BILBO BAGGINS

(I notice I confued Bifur and Bofur before. That rather proves my point about his mediocrity...)

[Eonwe]

I am certialy agast at the horrible anit-hobbit sentiments that seem to abound on a tolkien-related fourm, considering how close hobbits are related to tolkien!

as far as i can make out, bilbo is accused of:

Thief and sneak it is.
slandered
cheating at the riddle game
stealing the Arkenstone

Let me attempt to set the record straight. As for thief, how can you be accused of 'stealing' something, when you didn't even know you had it? Cheating at the riddle game, eh? Well, i believe if you seach the records, you will find a blatnat attemp on behafe of Gollum to, yes, EAT (that would be canabolize!) Bilbo! Now, would you cheat at a riddle game to save yourself from dismemberment and consumption by a subterrainian creep? Stealing the Arkenstone? yes he did that. but look deeper at his motives and you will find a good natured, pipe loving, comfortable living hobbit. no more and no less. though when called apon, he could display a vast vat (he, he!) of inner strength and fortitude. it seems we need more of these types of people on teh island to help with the difficult challenges.

Now if you will turn your attention to The Master (of greed, manipulation and deciet) i think you will find a more worthy target of teh aformentioned accusations.

++The Master

[Kitanna]

++ The Master
For such disregard and cowardice when it comes to his citzens.

[Celuien]

++BIFUR

Strictly due to his usual lackluster performances on the program. Does he do anything around here other than inspire bad puns about his name?

All of this talk about the criminal Baggins intrigues me. I might join the bandwagon should he fall behind in the tally. However, I will admit that my current goal is a triple eviction, hoping that all three current candidates will earn enough support to be sent packing.

[WaynetheGoblin]

++BILBOBAGGINS
I never like the stars of thing and he is the star of the hobbit.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

++The Citzens

For having an awfull Master.

[mormegil]

Eonwe, you speak of somebody who is so wonderful and displayed I quote

inner strength and fortitude

and yet you said

Cheating at the riddle game, eh? Well, i believe if you seach the records, you will find a blatnat attemp on behafe of Gollum to, yes, EAT (that would be canabolize!) Bilbo! Now, would you cheat at a riddle game to save yourself from dismemberment and consumption by a subterrainian creep?

No if it were me, and I pride myself on inner strenght and fortitude, I would be upright and avoid cheating. Honesty knows no exeptions.

Now let's look further at his character. What does he leave as an heirloom? A ring of power that is bound to doom Frodo. What does this sweet old man do? He leaves him and his problems behind with young Master Frodo and hides out with the elves. The problem with Bilbo is he causes more problems then he is worth and never resolves his own problems. As is seen with the many relations that he had some hidden quarrel with. All of those 'gifts' he gave with their sarcastic and snide remarks. He causes the tension and yet didn't do anything to resolve it while still at Bag-End.

[Glirdan]

Please stop voting. I'll have the cast out vote up shortly.

[Glirdan]

Today was another very laid back, uninteresting day. Bilbo was the one to be victimised and critisised. "He's a thief and sneak!! Yess preciouss, he is!!" Gollum said. "He tricked uss when we were playing a riddle gae,. He asked uss what it has in its poketsses!!" "I preferably would like to see how far we get without him, thank you very much!" Balin said. "This is payback for our dear uncle Thorin!!" Fili and Kili cried together. "No one likes stars, Bilbo!" his mother scolded. That night, no one was surprised at the way voting went:

Bilbo - 4
The Master - 2
Bifur - 1

Of course, Bilbo was the one to be evicted. "Well, fine. It's been nice to live amongst, but now, it's time for me to DISAPPEAR!!!" With that, he slipped the Ring on and disappereared, literally.

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Old Took

Day 10 is over, Day 11 starts. I added the three remaining Hobbits to the Others tribe because having three people for one tribe is usless.

[Holbytlass]

++Girion
He's lame and useless. Tries to boss the other tribemembers, but cries in a corner when it's his turn to do fire duties or if fire is part of the challenges!

[Tuor in Gondolin]

+ + Dain

Like father, like son.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

++Golfimbul

He Is killed by a Hobbit! Greater humiliation I cannot think of.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Rune has a point! Unless, of course, the hobbit is really tricksey, preciouss.
Then he might strangle the nassty orcsy.

- - Dain

+ + Golfimbul

[Eonwe]

We'll try the last tactic in the field manual.

++The Master

[WaynetheGoblin]

++themaster
He has been here to long time to get rid of him.

[The Saucepan Man]

I am still mourning the loss of Bilbo. How could you, those of you that voted for him? My childhood favourite and the contestant with whom I most identify. Heartless brutes ... :(

++Golfimbul

Because his only contribution was to to originate the game of golf. Can't say that golf inspires me particularly, and it is a dreadful dull game to watch. And he didn't even invent it - he merely inspired it via his decapitation. What a loser!

[mormegil]

I got Saucie upset? How delightful :p and since there is no Samwise to take out no revenge is possible.

But if it's any consolation

++Golfimbul

[The Saucepan Man]

I got Saucie upset? How delightful and since there is no Samwise to take out no revenge is possible.Well, I just hope that you can live with yourself for voting out one of the best heroes to ever walk out of the page. :mad:

And I shall be watching to see who you might be minded to protect. Probably some dullard do-gooder like Bard. :p ;)

[Glirdan]

Soory (again) for the lateness of this. My parents were watching "The Exorcist" when I came in from outside. Very creepy, disturbing and (if you didn't watch the entire thing) confusing movie. Anyway, I'll go tally the votes and have the cast out post up in a few minutes.

[Glirdan]

Once again, things were very dull during the day. Now that people got their revenge for Thorin by voting off Bilbo, no one had anyone particular in mind. So, they went through the list and all were caught by surprise that Golfimbul still happened to be there. "What is he doing here?" they all asked. "I say we vote him out. I mean, come on!! His name was part of the inspiration to invent the game of golf!! And golf is such a dreadfully boring game!! I say we blame him for it!!" Bullroarer stated. "And he was killed by a Hobbit!!" Bolg said. "That is the hugest humiliation in all the lives of orcs!!!" That night, the voting went as thus:

Girion - 1
Golfimbul - 4
The Master - 2

"So, you want to get rid of Golfimbul, the greatest Orc leader that ever lived!?" asked an outraged Golfimbul. " All because I was the inspiration for the game of Golf!? How is that fair!?!? Tell me how that is fair!! Tell me, right now!! Tel-" he was cut short because at that precise moment, Bullroarer (who was sick and tired of him and his ranting) came up behind him and decapetated(sp?) him. "Well, now we have another inspiration for the game of golf!"

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Old Took

Day 12 starts now.

[Holbytlass]

++The Master

I'm sick of The Master, "Master" my *beep*

[The Saucepan Man]

Do we really need two ravens? Let's get rid of the dead one. He's starting to smell.

++CARC

[Anguirel]

Makes sense to me. Bleeding scavengers, I'd like to roast the both of them...

++CARC

[WaynetheGoblin]

++THEMASTER
Just get rid of him.

[mormegil]

++The Master

There's been far too many days where he has been in second place now he will be first.

[Eonwe]

Finally, it looks like we might have the support we need!

++The Master

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Decisions! Decisions! While The Master has all the
charisma of Dick Cheney, while driving I'm listening
to a tape of The Hobbit with a rather irritating
voice for Carc. So:

+ + Carc

[Meneltarmacil]

I really think the dead bird needs to go, too.

++Carc

[Celuien]

Do we really need two ravens? Let's get rid of the dead one. He's starting to smell.

Sauce has a point there. There's only so much odor a Glade Plug-In can handle.

++CARC

[WaynetheGoblin]

--the master
++carc
Panman does have a good point and what is wrong with the master.

[Glirdan]

Again!!! GRRR!! My parents really have to stop watching movies!!! :rolleyes: I'll get the post up in a few minutes.

[Glirdan]

Day 12, there were only two people who everyone truly wanted gone. The Master, and Carc. "They're both useless!" everyone stated. "Well, I think Carc would be the better choice. He's really starting to stink!!!" someone said. "Besides, we only really need one raven! And his voice is really annoying me!!!" That night, the voting process went as follows:

The Master - 3
Carc - 6

"Fine be that way. But I can't leave. This is my island!!" Carc retaliated. "Well then, I have and idea!" Dwalin said. "What's that?" everyone asked. "Who wants roast raven for suppper!?!?" :D

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Gollum
Necromancer
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Old Took

Day 12 is over. Comence voting for Day 13 now.

[arcticstorm]

I will now proceed in attacking the drunken butler againa nd hope that some shall listen to me. He may provide entertainment, but was has he really contributed to the tribe? Not a thing, he just drinks all their good wine, He needs to go.

++Galion

[WaynetheGoblin]

++gullom
He had his chanch in lotr survovor get rid of him.My two hundreth post :D.

[The Saucepan Man]

I'm with arcticstorm on this. It was funny for a while, but the drunken butler act is now beginning to seriously grate with me. Things are starting to get serious and they cannot afford to carry this loose (uncanonic?) cannon.

++GALION

[Anguirel]

The Elvish Buffoon is entirely canonical. I cite Salgant, Lord of Harps at Gondolin, who was rumoured to have become Morgoth's jester, as my evidence.

Now Gollum I'm willing to take down. A schizophrenic hard drug addict; he'll cause harm to himself or others sooner or later. And he isn't funny.

++GOLLUM

[Eonwe]

++The Master

come on! all we need to do is meet together and push the guy over the cliffs on the east end of the island. He continues to garner a decent portion every day. we need to just make an end of it.

[Anguirel]

You gun for the maligned merchant, boy, and more Dwarf heads will roll. Forward the oligarchic merchant prince! Machiavelli's darling!

[Eonwe]

eh. wot's this?!

Machiavelli's darling, eh? hardly. i see no weeling or dealing, no backstabbing, treachery, pragmatic calculations, nor a brutal hold on power. all i see is some guy wandering off with everyone's gold to die a miserable, shivering death in the wild. Hardly the glorious example of high-handed dealings which make Machiavellian rulers so illustrious.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

++Gollum

The First Creep Under the Mountain

[mormegil]

++The Master

Let the dwarf head roll.

[The Saucepan Man]

The Elvish Buffoon is entirely canonical. I cite Salgant, Lord of Harps at Gondolin, who was rumoured to have become Morgoth's jester, as my evidence.Fair 'nuff. And, in any event, that hard-working entrepreneur, the Master of Laketown, needs saving. His work ethic is an example to us all. But, more importantly, it will annoy all those who are trying so hard to be rid of him (among whom number that heartless fellow that done for Bilbo, I see). :D

-- GALION
++GOLLUM

As Wayne said, he had his chance.

[Celuien]

++GOLLUM

Indeed, The Master did well in Laketown until that charlatan and Shakespeare imitator Bard usurped his position.

At any rate, The Master is more desirable to have on the program than a sneaking scoundrel like Gollum.

[arcticstorm]

Are you guys really going to get rid of our best fisher on the island, one who provides enough food for his tribe and surplus to sell to the others? come on, without GOllum, everyone will starve!!!!!
--Galion ++The Master

[Glirdan]

Please stop voting. Post will come up, eventually! :p (I'm in the middle of watching the season finale of Survivor :D )

[Glirdan]

Today, everyone wanted the useless gone (not that I blame them), yet, the person who was getting the most criticisim, really wasn't all that useless. Gollum was the on trial that day. "He's a sneak and a drug adict!! Not to mention he's already had his chance at the prize!! Why should we keep him any longer?" Elrond stated. This was met with great enthusiasm. That night, the voting went a little something like this:

Gollum: 5
The Master - 3

"Why do you wants uss gone preciousss?? What have we done to you!?" Gollum asked. "Oh, we have done lotss to them, preciouss. Like stealing the fissh from under their filthy little nosess. Oh yes preciouss, yess." With that he turned away and went invisible, never able to return to the world of "reality" again.

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Necromancer
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Old Took

Day 14 starts now.

[mormegil]

But, more importantly, it will annoy all those who are trying so hard to be rid of him (among whom number that heartless fellow that done for Bilbo, I see). :D


Ah I see that you are still carrying your petty grudges, however I care not whether the Master stay or go merely I'm trying to incite Ang to attack more dwarves :D .

Now something that does need to go is Beorn. His stupidity has long outstayed its welcome. He's a rather slow-witted and dull individual and the bear mauling can only be blamed on one person.

++Beorn

[Anguirel]

Ah I see that you are still carrying your petty grudges, however I care not whether the Master stay or go merely I'm trying to incite Ang to attack more dwarves :D .


I endeavour to give satisfaction:

Balin-irritating chummy Father Christmas-like Hobbit lover. Gets shot by a goblin after wild goose pursuing a non-existent ring. Take him away, gentlemen of the jury!

Bifur-mediocre and silent. One distinction is to have a name resembling the most unfunny cartoon ever published in the Beano, Biffo the Bear.

Dain-Such a damned goody-goody, but has proved adept at stealing thrones. Evil royal usurper who acts on his own account...

Dori-witless ox

Dwalin-unmemorable insect

Fili-all well and good, but do we really need two chirpy young Dwarves with orange beards? It's like keeping Merry and Pippin, or Amrod and Amras...

Gloin-snobbish git, down on grocers. You'd get rid of him if it wasn't for his son, admit it...

Oin-only claim to fame is being eaten by a squid. We should let him get on and do that in the world outside.

You'll notice I didn't attack a few. The ones I like...

Out of that list, ++DWALIN seems most tedious to me, purely because of the Biffo the Bear factor.

[WaynetheGoblin]

++THEMASTER
He is useless he does nothing around camp vote him out.

[arcticstorm]

I will make yet another case forthe drunk! His constant hangovers cause him to lash out at everyone and he does not contribute in the leas t to the tribe when he has them.
++Galion

[The Saucepan Man]

Whether canonical or not, the spectacle of a drunken Elf grows tiresome after a while. He's past his best and it's all getting rather embarasssing now. It's painful to watch.

++ GALION

[Anguirel]

An Elf with a personality beats a Dwarf without one any day.

[Eonwe]

if you vote for Fili, Kili might cut your hand off. and i might take you head...

sigh...back at it boys!

++The Master

[Anguirel]

Rather disingenuous as Fili is not my target today; Dwalin is. Can anyone give me a single solid reason why Dwalin should stay? His very name is merely generic "Dwarf". He might as well be called Dwarf No. 11. In action and in nomenclature he is entirely without interest.

As for the Master;

eh. wot's this?!

Machiavelli's darling, eh? hardly. i see no weeling or dealing, no backstabbing, treachery, pragmatic calculations, nor a brutal hold on power. all i see is some guy wandering off with everyone's gold to die a miserable, shivering death in the wild. Hardly the glorious example of high-handed dealings which make Machiavellian rulers so illustrious.

Like Cesare Borgia, Il Duce Valentino dalla Romagna, the Master of Esgaroth was much maligned by those jealous of his great achievements, who took care to conceal the truth.

In fact, the Master (whose name was probably Don Fortunato da Esgarovino) rose from a childhood as the unwanted illegitimate son of a shipping clerk to be the greatest entrepreneur and politician of his time. His fall was quite different from its depiction in the Red Book.

Fortunato sold out nineteen lesser rivals and opened up a whole new market by exploiting the Dorwinese natives and the light-headed Silvan Elves, unused to strong wine and so captivated by it. He consistently commercially outwitted the Elvenking to receive as much commission as possible.

Fortunato used the gold he had purloined from Laketown to buy his way into the hierarchy of Rhun, and became Potentate of the East. His power and territory was prudently and gradually built up. He died from a surfeit of caviar at the grand old age of ninety-three. His descendants, the Esgarovini Potentates of Rhun, did not forget their heritage and wiped out Dale in a savage invasion early in the Fourth Age, having played a neutral game during the War of the Ring...

[The Saucepan Man]

Is there any suggestion that the people of Laketown were downtrodden or poverty-stricken? Were they subject to any great suffering prior to the arrival of Bilbo and the Dwarves? Were they unhappy in any way with their lot in life? I think not. Rather it seems to me that they were quite a contented and well-off bunch, at least until a certain Dragon landed upon their homes. And the latter, I think, cannot be attributed to the Master of Laketown, but to a certain bunch of Dwarves accompanied by a certain (somewhat reluctant) burglar.

Now, why would the people of Laketown be contented and well-off? Could it be that the Master, through his own mercantile skills, had built the place up into quite an affluent little community, to the benefit of all? I believe so. And, if he paid himself commissions out of the town's revenue, well this only reflected due reward for his honest efforts in creating such an affluent society. Wealth creation is an important skill, which is to the benefit of all honest members of a society, and therefore deserves just reward.

Being an entrepreneur, is it any wonder that he was rather at a loss when the town was demolished by a downed Dragon? What skills did he have to help out at that time? His skills lay not in reconstruction and the relief of suffering, but in trade. Yet, despite all having benefitted from his efforts in the past, they cruelly throw him out simply because his skills were not what was required at that time.

While on the island, he has set up a decent system of barter, which has benefitted all those who are willing to pitch in and do an honest day's work. He has also been instrumental in setting up a counsel to resolve disputes between the contestants and meet out just reward or punishment, as appropriate. The commissions which he is taking by way of compensation for his efforts in this regard are entirely fair and in line with the salary that a man of his skill and ability might expect.

His contributions may not be showing in the more active tasks faced by the contestants, but he has nevertheless earned a right to stay by virtue of the contributions that he has made based on the skills that he is able to offer.

He should not be voted off.

[mormegil]

--Beorn

++The Master

As SpM so eloquently pointed out he is wealthy and can fend for himself...therefore he need no monetary reward.

[The Saucepan Man]

How predictable ... :p

[mormegil]

How predictable ... :p

Petty grudges can be long lasting can they not. I'm still avenging poor Samwise from LOTR survivor. Which reminds me Ang, seems to like Thror and Thrain.

[Anguirel]

Blessed Maglor, you need to get over your pet peasant, Morm...

Saucie, we're natural allies really, face it. Please join me in nabbing Dwalin the Dull.

[The Saucepan Man]

Saucie, we're natural allies really, face it. Please join me in nabbing Dwalin the Dull.As far as this particular show is concerned, that appears to be the case.

I will join with you tomorrow in your campaign to evict Dwalin if you will vote for whichever option would seem to stand the best chance of preserving the Master's dignity today. At the moment that would appear to be Galion (although that might, of course, change).

[mormegil]

Of course I would be willing to remove my vote for the Mater if it seemed that my Beorn campaign was picking up speed.

[Anguirel]

Supporting Galion is a concession towards the loss of the Master, as they're on the same Tribe. We need to get things back onto a Dwarf-evicting jag!

EDIT: Offer gladly accepted morm; I'm no fan of Beorn, an uncouth lump in the Sam mould...

--DWALIN, ++BEORN

EDIT AGAIN: What a hypocrite I've proved myself. The truth is, Saucie, I like Galion...

[The Saucepan Man]

Of course I would be willing to remove my vote for the Mater if it seemed that my Beorn campaign was picking up speed.I can live without Beorn, so you may have a deal if you agree to forego voting for the Master for the remainder of the show. In return, I will hold myself sympathetic to any candidates you propose, provided that my favoured contestants are not among them.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

++The Master

Help, help I am beeing repressed.

[mormegil]

--The Master

++Beorn

I'll do my best.

[Eonwe]

Help, help I am beeing repressed.

aye, that we are! it seems as if The Master is not the only oligarchical power broker we have! vote 'The Master', if not for his sake, than for your own!

[Anguirel]

You have my effeminate quill!

Beorn. Pah. What a cop out. Now if he were spelt Bjuyrnye, I might give him some respect-but...Beorn? Gross anglicisation!

Besides, he plays tough, but in fact, he's a ghastly hippy. He mass-murders sentient beings happily while refusing to harm fluffy ickle bunny rabbits. Reminds me of animal rights activists and hunt saboteurs. He's an outre Seventies drip. Away with him!

Besides, he forms a genetic anomaly. He is clearly described as dark; his folk are related to the Rohirrim; but the Rohirrim are blonde.

The answer to the puzzle? He's dying his hair black out of vanity, and applying fake tan! Probably hypocritically produced with animal testing!

Down with this turnabout veggie psychopath before he hurts his fellow humans.

[Formendacil]

Anyone who employs killer bees is bad in my books... and he keeps making trouble with the orks: squabbling over land and mashing them up.

++Beorn

[Kitanna]

++The Master

[Anguirel]

Pah! Without a reason?

Saucie, we are hard pressed. Join us at this breach...

[Celuien]

I will join the campaign against the shape-shifting hippie known as Beorn to keep The Master from being evicted unjustly.

++BEORN

[Kitanna]

Pah! Without a reason?
I have given a reason before, and I was hard pressed for time when I voted so I wasn't going to bother with a reason.

If you must know why I voted for the Master it's because he is selfish and would rather save his own skin than protect the people of Laketown when they need him the most.

[The Saucepan Man]

I'll do my best.We have a deal. :)

Help, help I am beeing repressed.If anyone's doing any repressing around here it's that dull unelected aristo, Bard. Some thrush talks to him and the next minute, he's claiming to be descended from the Lord of Dale. What's that all about? Talking to animals is no basis for choosing the head of state. Whatever next? Dr Dolittle for President?

aye, that we are! it seems as if The Master is not the only oligarchical power broker we have!Better a just and democratically elected ruler than the unruly lynch mob that calls for his head.

Saucie, we are hard pressed. Join us at this breach...I'm right on it.

-- GALION
++ BEORN

Another nut who talks to animals. But only those that he deems worthy. He happily slaughters Wolves and hangs their pelts up for all to see.

Plus he is guilty of the heinous crime of spawning Middle-earth's only Abba tribute band, Beorn Again.

Plus, he's snaffled the camp's entire honey rations.

Plus I don't trust Werebears.

[Eonwe]

If anyone's doing any repressing around here it's that dull unelected aristo, Bard. Some thrush talks to him and the next minute, he's claiming to be descended from the Lord of Dale. What's that all about? Talking to animals is no basis for choosing the head of state.

if you will recall, being decented from teh Lord of Dale has nothing to do with Esgaroth (as teh Master points out to the people of Esgaroth). yet he is still voted in.

last time i checked, the story runs like this:

'If only he had not been killed,' they all said, 'we would make him a king. Bard the Dragon-shooter of the line of Girion! Alass that he is lost!.'

then later:

'King Bard! King Bard!" they shouted. 'we will have King Bard! we have had enough of old men and teh money-counters! Up the Bowman, and down the Moneybags", till the clamour echoed along shore.

sounds as if 'the Bowman' won in a landslide victory over "Moneybags". and it does sound like a pretty democratic election, instead of teh 'unrully lynch-mob', as you put it.

i think you have turned the whole thing quite on its head, oh Master of Sausepans. The real 'dull unelected aristo' is the Master, not the courageous, stout-hearted, democratically ellected King Bard.

ps. the only argument agianst Beorn that holds any water is that of the Beorn Again thing. and that's only cuz its funny! ;)

[The Saucepan Man]

i think you have turned the whole thing quite on its head, oh Master of Sausepans. The real 'dull unelected aristo' is the Master, not the courageous, stout-hearted, democratically ellected King Bard.Hmm, let me think. Did they elect a new King when Bard died? Erm, no. His son succeeded him. Democracy, huh? :p ;)

The Master achieved his position on merit, rather than succession or the inherited ability to understand birds. :smokin:

[Eonwe]

if that's how the people want it, then its democratic, isn't it? and i never heard any complaining, other than that directed against the one they so flateringly refer to as 'the Moneybags'. :D :p

aside from that, bard's son isn't on teh list, last time i checked. :p

[Lalaith]

I like Beorn the berserker. I concede that the vegetarianism is a bit poncy, but other than that, he's all man.
I don't like the Master. And I'm still sulking about Thorin and those who led the charge against him (oh yes, I'm looking at you, Morm.)
So
++THE MASTER

[Anguirel]

All man? There's at least an element of teddy bear in there, surely...

[Tuor in Gondolin]

"Oin-only claim to fame is being eaten by a squid. We should let him get on and do that in the world outside."
========

And the island may be surrounded by giant squids!

+ + Oin

[Nonnacedak]

++Beorn

He's a shape-shifter and must go before there are more maulings.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Why The Master should go. . .

When we look upon The Master as a representative for the bourgeoisie who since the fall of Dale has taken controle over it’s people(now in Laketown). What picture do we get of these people? Well. . . .

The bourgeoisie, has in the history of laketown (+ Dale), played a most revolutionary part. The bourgeoisie, wherever it has got the upper hand, has put an end to all feudal, patriarchal, idyllic relations. It has pitilessly torn asunder the motley feudal ties that bound man to his "natural superiors", and has left no other nexus between man and man than naked self-interest, than callous "cash payment". It has drowned out the most heavenly ecstasies of religious fervour, of chivalrous enthusiasm, of philistine sentimentalism, in the icy water of egotistical calculation. It has resolved personal worth into exchange value, and in place of the numberless indefeasible chartered freedoms, has set up that single, unconscionable freedom - Free Trade. In one word, for exploitation, veiled by religious and political illusions, it has substituted naked, shameless, direct, brutal exploitation.

The bourgeoisie, has converted the physician, the lawyer, the priest, the poet, the man of science, into its paid wage labourers. The bourgeoisie has torn away from the family its sentimental veil, and has reduced the family relation into a mere money relation.

Lets restore Laketown (Dale) to it’s former glory, remove The Master.



(I found this on the net and I thought I was fitting as a reply on this thread)

[arcticstorm]

I am all for saving beorn as he was the best characte rin the hobbit. And now that Bilbo is gone, he is the best cook on the island, they need a break and some good food.

--Galion ++The Master

[Eonwe]

not to mention keeping watch into the night against the underhanded sabatage of the Chief Goblin & Co.

[The Saucepan Man]

Er, is this day ever going to end?

It would appear that a rather excessive daylight saving adjustment has severly prejudiced the Master's chances.

Typical of the proletarian masses to exploit such circumstances to do away with those who have served them so well in the past. :rolleyes: ;)

[Glirdan]

I AM SOOOOO SORRRY!!!! I had no time to get on the computer until now. I will have Day 14's cast out as soon as I tally the votes. Next time, if no one mind's and I don't seem to have it up by an hour after the nomal time, someon go ahead and take over. And once again, the deciding vote is up to me. Heads, Beorn. Tails, Master.

And the loser is....

Tails. The Master is gone.

++The Master

[Glirdan]

After a lengthy day of scheming and concipirating, the host finally returned after being "ill" for almost twenty four hours. The Master and Beorn were the ones who were greatly considered. However, everyone (except for a few) wanted the cheap, usless Master gone. "He's lazy and steals everyone else's gold and runs off with it!!!" an outraged Bard yelled. "I say out with him!!" That night, the way the accusations flew, no one was surprised at the end result:

Beorn - 6
The Master - 7
Oin - 1

"Fine!! I'm leaving!! You backstabbing scumbags!!!" With that, the others bellowed in rage and jumped on the Master. They tied his hands and feet together, blinded him and brought him to the other side of the island where they threw him off a cliff, where there were sharp, pointy rocks at the bottom.

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum
The Master

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Dwalin
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Oin
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Eagle Lord
Roac
Necromancer
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Old Took

After a two day period (terribly sorry!! :( ) Day 15 starts. VOTE!!!

[mormegil]

++Beorn

He should have been gone already!