View Full Version : Ask a stupid question
Q - What is the best way to stop Aragorn in a battle?[/QUOTE]
A: Offer him a lollypop, he's always been fond of them...
Q: How many teeth did Glaurung have?
Macalaure
10-06-2006, 06:18 AM
Q: How many teeth did Glaurung have?
A: None. He had to stare at his prey until it liquified.
Q: Do Balrogs have fins?
Brinniel
10-06-2006, 09:04 AM
Q: How many teeth did Glaurung have?
A: Of course. How else could they swim? :p
Q: What is the story of Beren and Luthien about?
ninja91
10-06-2006, 10:32 AM
Q: What is the story of Beren and Luthien about?
Kind of like Romeo and Juliet... they both die eventually.
Why does Shelob like to eat people?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-06-2006, 10:45 AM
Why does Shelob like to eat people?
A - On the contrary! She hates it! But, due to racial stereotyping everyone assumes she does. When she chased Frodo she merely wanted to give him a potato. But did Frodo believe her? NO! He made an assumption based only on appearances! She accidentally knocked him out and, to stop him from hurting himself, she wrapped him in a nice warm blanket of her own making. She thought Sam was after her new guest! :eek:
Q - Why did Saruman use the Palantir?
Q - Why did Saruman use the Palantir?
A: He tried to watch Monty Python's Flying Circus, but accidentally put on the wrong channel.
Q: Why did Sam call Bill the pony Bill?
Farael
10-07-2006, 06:26 PM
Q: Why did Sam call Bill the pony Bill?
A: To always remember his first love, none other than the (in)famous Bill Ferny
Q: Aragorn is given the name Estel and also Elessar and a plethora of nicknames. Didn't he ever get confused with everyone calling him a different thing?
Q: Aragorn is given the name Estel and also Elessar and a plethora of nicknames. Didn't he ever get confused with everyone calling him a different thing?
A: Yes. That's why it took him so long to remember he was the king of Gondor.
Q: Why did Gollum call the Ring his 'preciousss'?
doom_hammer
10-08-2006, 03:42 PM
[B]Q: Why did Gollum call the Ring his 'preciousss'?
A: because he was stuck in that cave all alone with the ring he fell in love with it.
Q:HOW MANY FELL BEASTS ARE THERE LEFT
frodo1021
10-08-2006, 03:43 PM
Thirteen. They are feasting on the shire.
Why did Frodo not join Sauron? (he should have)
Farael
10-08-2006, 04:54 PM
Why did Frodo not join Sauron? (he should have)
He would have, but on his way to Sauron's little home he stopped by Mt. Doom and accidentally tossed that little ring of his on to the fires. Needless to say that Sauron wasn't impressed, he was so dissapointed he left Middle Earth for good.
Q: were the spiders in Mirkwodd under the command of The Necromancer (aka Sauron) when Bilbo and the dwarves were there?
High King Fingolfin
10-08-2006, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by Farael
Q: were the spiders in Mirkwodd under the command of The Necromancer (aka Sauron) when Bilbo and the dwarves were there?
A: Yes. Sauron paid them per traveler eaten.
Q: Why didn't Eru just smite Melkor down where he stood?
Gil-Galad
10-08-2006, 06:00 PM
Q: Why didn't Eru just smite Melkor down where he stood?
A: Because he lost his Smiting-Banjo-of-Smiting-ness somewhere in the Void.
Q: Why do elves like archery?
The Sixth Wizard
10-09-2006, 12:11 AM
Q: Why do elves like archery?
Because they can make fun of dwarves for getting splinters.
How come everyone likes Legolas?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-09-2006, 01:27 AM
How come everyone likes Legolas?
A - He has a good PR manager.
Q - How long did it take to build Barad-Dur?
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh
10-09-2006, 04:25 AM
A: Three days. It was constructed in prefabricated sections built by Messrs Bodgit and Leggit, engineers to the evil and mysterious. Aside from selecting the appallingly constructed Five Minute Fortress (since withdrawn from sale on safety grounds), Sauron's mistake was to entrust the final assembly to those Orcs deemed unfit for other duties. Since 'other duties' meant anything from raiding into Eriador to sewing buttons onto the Mouth of Sauron's third-best tunic, the modules were assembled in the wrong order and not properly secured. What caused the collapse described in The Return of the King was not the destruction of the One Ring, but an ill-advised scouring of the guttering. This removed centuries of moss and weeds that had been doing rather an effective job of holding the entire structure together.
Q: Who was the tallest ever hobbit until SR 1419 and the inventor of golf?
Rikae
10-09-2006, 05:42 PM
Q: Who was the tallest ever hobbit until SR 1419 and the inventor of golf?
Well, that would clearly have to be Deagol, of the River Folk;
who was approximately four foot three. He did, however, have delicate little hands, which may explain his inability to strangle his shorter, but larger-handed cousin.
Did hobbits ever crossbreed with humans, elves or dwarves?
Brinniel
10-09-2006, 06:01 PM
Did hobbits ever crossbreed with humans, elves or dwarves?
A: Of course. How else do you think Santa's elves were created? Or better yet the Keebler elves?
Q: Why did Arwen give up her immortality for Aragorn? Did she really love him?
doom_hammer
10-10-2006, 01:15 PM
Q: Why did Arwen give up her immortality for Aragorn? Did she really love him?
A: no she wanted his money
Q: can hobits die ???
Hookbill the Goomba
10-10-2006, 01:33 PM
Q: can hobits die ???
A - This is a common misconception. There was, in the early third age, a competition held by the Bree landers to see which race could make the most colourful clothing. The Hobbits lost and so the term flew around Middle Earth, "Hobbits cannot dye".
This has been mistranslated some times as Hobbits cannot Die. Which they can.
Q - How heavy was Tom the Troll?
doom_hammer
10-10-2006, 10:09 PM
Q - How heavy was Tom the Troll?
A: He was as heavy as bom the troll.
Q:HAVE DWARVES EVER CROSSBREED WITH MEN
Kitanna
10-11-2006, 07:20 AM
Q:HAVE DWARVES EVER CROSSBREED WITH MEN
A: Of course, what do you think Hobbits are?
Q: Why wasn't Celeborn given a Ring of Power?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-11-2006, 08:12 AM
Q: Why wasn't Celeborn given a Ring of Power?
A- He was, but he dropped it and broke it. :(
Q - Why did Smaug travel to the Lonely Mountain anyway?
Kitanna
10-11-2006, 09:34 AM
Q - Why did Smaug travel to the Lonely Mountain anyway?
A: He heard it was a really nice vacation spot.
Q: What were Frodo's parents out boating for anyway?
Rikae
10-11-2006, 01:18 PM
Q: What were Frodo's parents out boating for anyway?
A: They were trying to reach the Undying Lands by rowboat - and they did!
Q: Why did Aragorn and his buddies bother to protect Bree?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-11-2006, 01:39 PM
Q: Why did Aragorn and his buddies bother to protect Bree?
A - Because they were the only ones that knew that underneath Bree was an abundance of Gold beyond the dreams of men! :eek:
Q - What's 'Taters'?
elronds_daughter
10-11-2006, 03:05 PM
Q - What's 'Taters'?
A: Taterss, preciousss, nassty, nassty things that that nassty hobbit likess to eatses. Even threatened us with them once, he did.
Q: Why can't dead orcs move?
doom_hammer
10-11-2006, 11:29 PM
Q: Why can't dead orcs move?
A: because it hurts too much
Q: WHAT IS AN ORC??
Q: WHAT IS AN ORC??
A: 21st century (of our age) angsting young people that have been doing strange rituals and somehow got themselves into the past. The prosess had a side-effect that turned them into Orcs.
Q: How do Dragons manage to fly?
Brinniel
10-12-2006, 01:34 AM
Q: How do Dragons manage to fly?
A: Using fairy dust, of course (yes, it does exist). :p
Q: Where can fairy dust be found in Middle-earth?
doom_hammer
10-12-2006, 01:50 AM
Q: Where can fairy dust be found in Middle-earth?
A: why, mordor of course.
Q: where can dragons be found in middle-earth?
elronds_daughter
10-12-2006, 11:01 AM
Q: where can dragons be found in middle-earth?
A: Well, listen. The hobbits don't know it, but the Shire is really a dragon's back.
Q: How extensive is hobbits' knowledge of smoking?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-12-2006, 11:11 AM
Q: How extensive is hobbits' knowledge of smoking?
A - Their knowledge is - like - totally far out, man! :smokin:
Q - When did Saurman decide to become the many coloured?
Macalaure
10-12-2006, 11:19 AM
Q - When did Saurman decide to become the many coloured?
A: After Gríma forgot his collection of crayons in his robes when he did the laundry.
Q: Why did Elfhelm trip over Merry?
@elronds_daughter: :p
elronds_daughter
10-12-2006, 11:19 AM
Q - When did Saurman decide to become the many coloured?
A: When he decided that he supported gay rights.
Q: (staying on topic) Why did Saruman feel he needed to create the Uruk-Hai?
Naria
10-13-2006, 09:51 PM
Q: Why did Elfhelm trip over Merry?
A: Because he didn't see the lil' guy :(
Why did Saruman feel he needed to create the Uruk-Hai?
A: Because he wanted to have other 'people' around to make himself look more attractive, afterall he wasn't a real looker if ya know what I mean.
Q: Do you think that Wargs could have ever been tamed/trained to be used as house pets?
The Elf-warrior
10-14-2006, 09:20 PM
Q: Do you think that Wargs could have ever been tamed/trained to be used as house pets?
A: Yes they have in the nation of Sharkey Shire and possibly others.
Q: Who was Frodo?
elronds_daughter
10-15-2006, 07:01 AM
Q: Who was Frodo?
A: Frodo was a figment of Sam's imagination.
Q: Did Ents eat anything besides Ent-draught?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-15-2006, 09:09 AM
Q: Did Ents eat anything besides Ent-draught?
A - Yes... Entwives.
Q - Why didn't the Hobbits have their own language?
Rikae
10-15-2006, 12:51 PM
Q - Why didn't the Hobbits have their own language?
Because Tolkien knew Elijah Wood wouldn't be able to speak it.
Q - Is Sauron really evil?
Brinniel
10-15-2006, 04:29 PM
Q - Is Sauron really evil?
A: No, he is simply misunderstood.
Q: Do hobbits celebrate Christmas?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-16-2006, 01:25 AM
Q: Do hobbits celebrate Christmas?
A - No, they can't afford it, what with all the giving of presents on every other day.
Q - When did Gandalf start smoking?
Q: When did Gandalf start smoking?
A: Around the time he started dieting.
Q: How long is Gandalf's nose?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-16-2006, 05:27 AM
Q: How long is Gandalf's nose?
A - About as long as Frodo's foot.
Q - What did the Mouth of Sauron do when he wasn't harassing Gondorians?
The Elf-warrior
10-21-2006, 11:25 PM
Q - What did the Mouth of Sauron do when he wasn't harassing Gondorians?
A: He mouthed off.
Q: Is Pippin stupid?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-22-2006, 01:52 AM
Q: Is Pippin stupid?
A - No. In his own words: "I'm not stupid! I'm just big boned!"
Q - Who was taller, Sauron or The Witch King?
Rikae
10-22-2006, 11:06 AM
Q - Who was taller, Sauron or The Witch King?
The Witch King. Sauron was actually two hobbits, one standing on the other's shoulders.
Q -Why didn't Smeagol's grandmother already know how to suck eggses?
The Elf-warrior
10-26-2006, 03:34 PM
Q -Why didn't Smeagol's grandmother already know how to suck eggses?
A: Because she thought raw eggs were disgusting.
Q: Why did the Witch-King have eyes at Pelennor Fields even though the rest of him was invisible?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-26-2006, 03:58 PM
Q: Why did the Witch-King have eyes at Pelennor Fields even though the rest of him was invisible?
He'd just had Laser eye surgery.
Q - What did Gandalf hope to do by standing on the Bridge of Kazad Dum?
Rikae
11-02-2006, 10:15 PM
Q - What did Gandalf hope to do by standing on the Bridge of Kazad Dum?
A - Take advantage of a great photo op for the "Wizards of the Fourth Age" yearbook.
Q -Why did Sauron do his jewelry-making in a volcano?
High King Fingolfin
11-02-2006, 10:34 PM
Originally posted by Rikae
Q -Why did Sauron do his jewelry-making in a volcano?
A: Because the jewelry-making class at his high school was full.
Q: Why couldn't Saruman make a real ring?
The Elf-warrior
11-03-2006, 08:41 PM
Q: Why couldn't Saruman make a real ring?
A: Because he was always interrupted by phone calls.
Q: Did Sauron think Pippin had the Ring?
Meneltarmacil
11-03-2006, 09:35 PM
Q: Did Sauron think Pippin had the Ring?
A: No. Telling Pippin that "I wil send for it at once" and ordering him to "tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him" was really Sauron's rather odd way of ordering a pizza.
Q: Why did Denethor try to burn Faramir alive?
The Elf-warrior
11-03-2006, 10:57 PM
Q: Why did Denethor try to burn Faramir alive?
A: Because Faramir was always turning up the thermostat.
Q: How many elves died at Helm's Deep?
Brinniel
11-03-2006, 11:21 PM
Q: How many elves died at Helm's Deep?
A: All of them that showed up with Haldir to fight. You see, little do people know, but PJ's interpretation of Helms Deep was quite accurate. Tolkien simply didn't mention in The Two Towers that there were elves at Helms Deep because it's slightly embarrassing that not a single one of them survived the battle...
Q: Why don't we ever see any female orcs in LotR?
The Elf-warrior
11-04-2006, 09:39 PM
Q: Why don't we ever see any female orcs in LotR?
A: Because they stayed home and baked manflesh.
Q: What was Gimli's secret name?
Farael
11-04-2006, 10:19 PM
Q: What was Gimli's secret name?
A: Cinderella
Q: How do you bake manflesh?
High King Fingolfin
11-04-2006, 10:30 PM
Originally posted by Farael
Q: How do you bake manflesh?
A: With the correct kind of baking pan and special Orcish seasonings too horrible to mention.
Q: Could Fingolfin have killed Morgoth?
The Elf-warrior
11-04-2006, 10:37 PM
Q: Could Fingolfin have killed Morgoth?
A: He could, if he had some anachronistic technology, such as a machine gun or a phaser.
Q: Who was Ondoher?
Rikae
11-05-2006, 02:19 PM
Q: Who was Ondoher?
A: Doher's pet parrot.
Q: Who is the Witch King's mother?
Farael
11-06-2006, 02:59 PM
Q: Who is the Witch King's mother?
Lobellia S-B. No wonder the attitude problems!
Q: Why did Saruman mess with The Shire? why didn't he try to loot something better, like Rivendell?
Damrod
11-06-2006, 03:59 PM
A:Saruman, like many modern corporations, wanted to be in a far-off country, where he could get away with employing small people to do menial work for five cents an hour.
Q:Why does Gollum hate elves?
Rikae
11-06-2006, 04:39 PM
Q:Why does Gollum hate elves?
Because they overreact to having their wigs pulled off.
Q: Why don't Shire hobbits like boats?
Erunámo Séreturion
11-06-2006, 08:38 PM
Q: Why Don't Shire Hobbits Like Boats?
A: Because they can't cook anything on them.
Q: What kind of wine does Tom Bombadil Drink?
The Elf-warrior
11-23-2006, 10:16 PM
Q: What kind of wine does Tom Bombadil Drink?
A: Young Toby.
Q: Why did Gandalf want to go through the Mines of Moria?
Meneltarmacil
11-23-2006, 11:38 PM
Q: What did Saruman's ring actually do?
A: It played an extremely annoying melody over and over again that could only be heard by whomever Saruman was aiming his ring at. This kept up until the target either giave in to Saruman's demands or his/her head exploded from sheer annoyance.
Q: Where can I find a duck-billed platypus in Middle-Earth?
Hookbill the Goomba
11-24-2006, 01:57 AM
Q: Where can I find a duck-billed platypus in Middle-Earth?
They were once rather popular around Middle Earth in the First Age. They liked to hang around Doriath and Lake Helevorn but could be found wherever there was a good supply of water. Yet in later years, Sauron loved them and became jealous of the rest of the world and so brought them all to Mordor. They were an endangered species until the fall of Sauron.
Q - How did they manage to keep Gondolin hidden for all those years?
Rikae
11-24-2006, 10:13 AM
Q - How did they manage to keep Gondolin hidden for all those years?
They hid it inside the walls of Bag End (which wasn't built yet, and therefore, impossible to find!)
Q- What was Gothmog, anyway?
Meneltarmacil
11-24-2006, 10:28 AM
Q- What was Gothmog, anyway?
A: A cute pink bunny that the Witch King had as a pet.
Q: What made Morgoth become evil in the first place?
The Elf-warrior
11-24-2006, 08:09 PM
Q: What made Morgoth become evil in the first place?
A: He had bad musical tastes.
Q: Who was Farmer Giles of Ham?
Folwren
11-24-2006, 08:22 PM
Q: Who was Farmer Giles of Ham?
A: The King, of course.
Q. Why did Sauron only have one eye?
Kitanna
11-26-2006, 02:47 PM
Q. Why did Sauron only have one eye?
A: He used to run with scissors.
Q: Do wizards ever jig?
Nilpaurion Felagund
11-27-2006, 03:19 AM
Q: Do wizards ever jig? (Kitanna)
A: No, but they can breakdance pretty well.
Q: If Melkor, Tar-Eléndil, and Gollum met in a room, what would probably happen?
Hookbill the Goomba
11-27-2006, 03:47 AM
Q: If Melkor, Tar-Eléndil, and Gollum met in a room, what would probably happen?
A - Little known fact: They are all the same person. If they met in a room at the same time it would cause a Time Space paradox and probably destroy the universe.
Q - What laws are in place to stop the war of the ring happening again?
Farael
11-27-2006, 01:22 PM
Q - What laws are in place to stop the war of the ring happening again?
A: That is a very interesting question. This issue was dealt with by the Gondorian Parlament on year 5 Fourth Age and presided by the honouralbe Faramir. They were mired by a legal-terminology issue. They wanted to prevent another war of the ring, but they did not want to stop wars, as Gondor was erm... let just say they were 'expanding'.
Finally, King Eleassar suggested that they made a law against Rings of Power, thus solving two problems in one. Sadly, that is what caused Galadriel, Elrond and Gandalf to have to leave Middle Earth. Missing Valinor? no way, they were persecuted by mindless Gondorian rabble.
Q: Howcome Cirdan could grow a beard?
Hookbill the Goomba
11-27-2006, 02:24 PM
Q: Howcome Cirdan could grow a beard?
A - He took evening classes in Beard growing.
Q - Was The Barrow Wight trying to kill the Hobbits, or was he just the worlds worse pick pocket?
The Elf-warrior
12-02-2006, 10:56 PM
Q - Was The Barrow Wight trying to kill the Hobbits, or was he just the worlds worse pick pocket?
A: Actually, he was going to transplant their brains into his pet gorillas.
Q: Did Captain Kirk ever visit Middle-earth?
ninja91
12-05-2006, 10:55 AM
Q: Did Captain Kirk ever visit Middle-earth?
Of course! He is the guy in the Sauron suit.
Why in the heck does Sauron like rings?
Brinniel
12-06-2006, 11:05 PM
Why in the heck does Sauron like rings?
A: He's fascinated by their circular shape...
Q: Who exactly is the Mouth of Sauron?
Valier
12-07-2006, 03:00 PM
Who exactly is the Mouth of Sauron?
A=Why Sauron's dentist of course. ;)
Q=Why do all the men have long hair?
Hookbill the Goomba
12-07-2006, 03:22 PM
Q=Why do all the men have long hair?
A - Because the hairdressers charge ridiculous prices. Namely, Five gold coins per hair strand.
Q - Why did Denethor really hate Gandalf?
Boromir88
12-07-2006, 03:47 PM
Q - Why did Denethor really hate Gandalf?
A: Because Denethor placed Gandalf in charge of entertainment for his 12th birthday party Bonanaza...and it wasn't as good as the party Gandalf threw for Aragorn.
Why did Saruman get involved in a drug cartel?
Naria
12-14-2006, 12:40 PM
Why did Saruman get involved in a drug cartel?
A: He had to, for he was Don Saruman!!
Q: Who taught the Ents to speak?
Farael
12-14-2006, 02:16 PM
Q: Who taught the Ents to speak?
The elves, who now regret it because they haven't shut-up since!!
Why was Cahadras so mean?
Gothmog
12-14-2006, 03:03 PM
Why was Cahadras so mean?
A: Caradhras means "Red horn".
Caradhras is also a mean mountain as it is situated in the middle of the Misty Mountains and if you make some calculations, you will find that it's actually of mean height if you compare it with all other mountains in Middle Earth!
Q: What was the first words of the first orc?
Hookbill the Goomba
12-14-2006, 03:07 PM
Q: What was the first words of the first orc?
A - "Blimey!"
Q - What on Middle Earth was Tom Bombadil singing about?
The Elf-warrior
12-14-2006, 07:26 PM
Q - What on Middle Earth was Tom Bombadil singing about?
A: His true identity, Meriadoc Brandybuck, AKA Merry.
Q: What species of spider was Ungoliant?
elronds_daughter
12-15-2006, 07:47 AM
Q: What species of spider was Ungoliant?
A: A relation to the spider that turned Peter Parker into Spider Man.
Q: If Elves were immortal, why were they so reclusive?
Valier
12-18-2006, 10:53 PM
Q: If Elves were immortal, why were they so reclusive?
A: They secretly have low self esteems and think themselves to be ugly. So they do not like to be seen out in the open.
Q: What do you think the Istari wear under their robes?
Kitanna
12-19-2006, 05:13 PM
Q: What do you think the Istari wear under their robes?
A: Princess Leia style metal bikinis, of course.
Q: Where are the Ent wives anyway?
The Elf-warrior
12-21-2006, 07:15 PM
Q: Where are the Ent wives anyway?
A: In the woods of England cleverly disguised as trees.
Q: What is the meaning of haste?
Naria
01-02-2007, 02:21 AM
Q: What is the meaning of haste?
A: To act like you are doing something quickly; while really doing nothing at all.
Q: Why did Rosie and Sam have so many kids?
Hookbill the Goomba
01-02-2007, 03:33 AM
Q: Why did Rosie and Sam have so many kids?
A - They were plotting an uprising and needed disposable troops. Incidentally, they got the idea from Sauron, always breeding hundreds of Orcs who, because they die rather quickly, needed to be in ridiculously high numbers. Unfortunately, for Sam, his plans never reached their full and he eventually gave up because he ran out of names. You don't know about the nine other children he had who were called, "Hobbit lad 14", "Hobbit lass 25", "Hobbit Lad 16", "Hobbit lass 34" and so on.
Q - What was Saruman's reaction to the Ent attack?
Istari
01-02-2007, 10:48 AM
A - They were plotting an uprising and needed disposable troops. Incidentally, they got the idea from Sauron, always breeding hundreds of Orcs who, because they die rather quickly, needed to be in ridiculously high numbers. Unfortunately, for Sam, his plans never reached their full and he eventually gave up because he ran out of names. You don't know about the nine other children he had who were called, "Hobbit lad 14", "Hobbit lass 25", "Hobbit Lad 16", "Hobbit lass 34" and so on.
Q - What was Saruman's reaction to the Ent attack?
uh oh.....retreat to the tower!
Why are hobbits good at throwing parties?
The Might
01-02-2007, 10:58 AM
Because they have enough food, drinks and pipeweed for everyone
Would Tom Bombadil ever fall in love with the Barrow-wight ?
Rikae
01-02-2007, 11:01 AM
Why are hobbits good at throwing parties?
They've had lots of practice, since they have a birthday party for the day of the week, rather than the year. This also explains their "long lifespans".)
cross posted
Would Tom Bombadil ever fall in love with the Barrow-wight ?
Actually, he was already in love with her. The lady who had worn the jewel he took from the barrow became the Barrow Wight.
Why did it take Sauron so long to get the Nine new "horses"?
The Might
01-02-2007, 11:45 AM
Because the Rohirrim weren't making any discounts until 3019 and he didn't want to pay more.
Why doesn't Saruman ever get a girlfriend ?
Farael
01-02-2007, 11:55 AM
Why doesn't Saruman ever get a girlfriend ?
Because girls laughed at him wearing tighty-whiteys.
It also explains why he changed from "Saruman the White" to "Saruman the multicolour"
Why didn't Sauron even have a girlfriend?
Hookbill the Goomba
01-02-2007, 12:01 PM
Why didn't Sauron even have a girlfriend?
Because all the female Miar he saw had Gandalf posters in their bedrooms. Needless to say, it was off putting. Besides which, no elf, human, Dwarf or hobbit would stay in his presence for more than 14 seconds. And Sauron refused to take an Orc wife. Mainly because he didn't know which ones were male and which ones were female.
Q - Why was Saruman's symbol the White hand?
High King Fingolfin
01-02-2007, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by Hookbill the Goomba
Q - Why was Saruman's symbol the White hand?
A - Because he didn't get very much sun, and he knew all symbols for villains have to be body parts.
Q - Why didn't Saruman ever learn to tapdance?
The Might
01-02-2007, 12:53 PM
Because the floor of Orthanc made too much noise and Grima might have heard the noise and laughed at him
Naria
01-02-2007, 02:37 PM
Ehhm, would you have a question to follow your answer? :D
The Might
01-02-2007, 02:52 PM
Sorry I totally forgot...
Anyway, since we have to ask stupid question, I thought of making a mix of the two greatest questions in the ME universe:
Did Tom Bombadil have wings ?
Macalaure
01-03-2007, 03:03 AM
Q: Did Tom Bombadil have wings ?
A: No, but Fatty Lumpkin did.
Q: Why did Celebrían really leave Middle-earth?
Hookbill the Goomba
01-03-2007, 04:20 AM
Q: Why did Celebrían really leave Middle-earth?
A - He'd left the iron on.
Q - If Melkor liked the dark so much, why did he steal the Silmarills?
The Might
01-03-2007, 09:19 AM
Because he needed them to complete his Silmarilli pie recipe he had gotten from Thuringwethil
Do Gondorian women find the Woses attractive ?
High King Fingolfin
01-03-2007, 12:39 PM
Originally posted by The Might
Do Gondorian women find the Woses attractive ?
A - Only when they've had a very bad day.
Q - What is Gimli's favorite movie?
The Might
01-03-2007, 01:44 PM
The Moria Chainsaw Massacre
Why didn't Elrond go to battle during the War of the Ring ?
Q: Why didn't Elrond go to battle during the War of the Ring ?
A: Actually he did, you can even see him riding a Winged Beast in the movie. And it was in fact Elrond who had the real One Ring with him. Do you really think that Elrond could trust Frodo enough to deal with such a mission, while he, Agent 700, was alive and well?
Q: How did Agent 700 succeed in his mission?
The Might
01-03-2007, 04:50 PM
He didn't really need the winged beast to succeed, I saw him in another movie, he could fly...
So he flew to Barad-dur with the Ring, went to Sauron and told him...
It was inevitable, Mister Gorthaur. You will now return to the Source. So as Gollum fell to his Doom with the fake Ring, Elrond threw the other one in as well...and BOOM !!!
How long would Rosie Cotton survive in the wild alone ?
Rikae
01-04-2007, 10:39 AM
How long would Rosie Cotton survive in the wild alone ?
Forever. Zimzalazing (thank you Rune), the all-powerful dark fox lord, made her immortal because he and his minions liked her chicken soup so much.
How long would Aragorn survive in Hobbiton?
The Might
01-04-2007, 04:25 PM
As long as there is enough pipeweed
Why would Aragorn want to live in Hobbiton anyway ?
Hookbill the Goomba
01-04-2007, 04:33 PM
Why would Aragorn want to live in Hobbiton anyway ?
Because there is always enough Pipe weed.
Q - What did Fingolfin think just before he fought Melkor?
The Might
01-04-2007, 04:42 PM
Man, this guy really needs a bath
Why didn't the balrog ever take a vacation away from Moria ?
High King Fingolfin
01-04-2007, 05:51 PM
Originally posted by The Might
Why didn't the balrog ever take a vacation away from Moria ?
A - Because the roaming charge on his cell phone would be too high.
Q - How long will the Barrow-Downs last?
The Might
01-04-2007, 06:06 PM
Till death do as part...and beyond
Why weren't there any Elves at Helm's Deep ? ;)
Farael
01-04-2007, 06:14 PM
Why weren't there any Elves at Helm's Deep ? ;)
Because Elrond was too stubborn to ask for directions when they got lost somewhere South of Fangorn Forest.
What if Eowyn had gone with Aragorn to the paths of the death?
FeRaL sHaDoW
01-04-2007, 10:20 PM
What if Eowyn had gone with Aragorn to the paths of the death?
they would be newly decorated.
WHY DOESNT BILBO EGT SINGING LESSONS?
Gil-Galad
01-05-2007, 10:44 AM
WHY DOESNT BILBO GET SINGING LESSONS?
because Bilbo is cheap when it comes to money.
Why were the Wainriders using Chariots?
The Elf-warrior
02-03-2007, 01:34 PM
Why were the Wainriders using Chariots?
A: They didn't want to be late for the massacre.
Q: Did Tolkien ever watch Star Trek?
Hookbill the Goomba
02-03-2007, 02:32 PM
Q: Did Tolkien ever watch Star Trek?
Yes... and No. He once watched a star take a trek across the sky and provide the inspiration for, you guessed it, Pipe weed.
Why in Middle Earth did Alatar and Pallando think that blue was a good colour for Wizards?
The Elf-warrior
02-03-2007, 03:29 PM
Why in Middle Earth did Alatar and Pallando think that blue was a good colour for Wizards?
A: They were UN peacekeepers.
Q: Why did Míriel want to die?
Macalaure
02-03-2007, 04:41 PM
Originally Asked by The Elf-warrior
Why did Míriel want to die?
A: Because Finwe snored. And after ages have passed, she just didn't see another way out. :(
Q: Just why didn't Galadriel give Feanor those three strands of her hair?
elronds_daughter
02-03-2007, 09:25 PM
Q: Just why didn't Galadriel give Feanor those three strands of her hair?
A: Because then a sample of her DNA would have been on file.
Q: As a corollary, why didn't Galadriel give Gimli more than three strands of her hair?
Rikae
02-04-2007, 12:13 PM
She was saving the rest of it to make a hair shirt for the penitent Smeagol.
Why was Caradhras so cranky?
Why was Caradhras so cranky?
A: He had a cold. :(
Q: Will Tolkien ever write a sequel to LotR?
ninja91
02-04-2007, 03:05 PM
Q: Will Tolkien ever write a sequel to LotR?
Yes, if he ever leaves Valinor.
Why does Aragorn have a beard?
Hookbill the Goomba
02-04-2007, 03:21 PM
Why does Aragorn have a beard?
To hide things in. Gandalf has one for the same reason.
How long did it take to build the Argonath?
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh
02-08-2007, 08:55 AM
Three million years. This was due to a decision to carve them using water erosion instead of more conventional tools.
Rikae
02-14-2007, 10:06 AM
Since TSOAR didn't ask a question, I will!
In honor of this thread (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=13676) (I'm not saying it's a stupid question, I just couldn't resist.)
Q: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen Balrog?
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh
02-20-2007, 12:10 PM
It varies depending on wind speed, size of Balrog and the number of Monty Python references in the conversation so far.
Q: Given that x=94, q=30 and z=-107, roughly how many calories are there in a wafer of Lembas?
Sorry I forgot the question last time.
Farael
02-20-2007, 04:19 PM
Q: Given that x=94, q=30 and z=-107, roughly how many calories are there in a wafer of Lembas?
Since they say that a wafer of lembas can get a man through a hard day of work, and it is estimated that an active adult may burn up to 3600 calories in a day of hard work, I'd say that a wafer of lembas has about 2000 calories.
The deficit between caloric intake and output explains why elves are so thin... they are all anorexic!!
Q: What's the deal with Fangorn? I mean, it's unnatural to be THAT unhasty
Macalaure
03-27-2007, 04:26 AM
A: Well, seeing that it took over a month for somebody to answer this, it's safe to say it isn't. :p
Q: What were the fates of Elladan and Elrohir?
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh
03-27-2007, 05:09 AM
Elladan joined a progressive rock band, but too much rock n' roll excess soon took its toll and he left for Tol Eressea a broken half-elf.
Elrohir hung around for a while, but soon grew tired of the shallow hangers-on that trailed in his brother's wake. He relinquished his possessions and left to travel the strange lands to the East and South, where it is said he found either enlightenment or some potent narcotic, possibly both. He was never heard of again.
Can fleas travel to the Blessed Realm?
Morwen
04-16-2007, 10:00 AM
Can fleas travel to the Blessed Realm?
Though previously prohibited from doing so, once Gandalf insisted on taking Shadowfax to Aman many fleas took the opportunity to go along for the ride.
Why did Feanor dislike his half brothers so much?
Kitanna
04-16-2007, 03:55 PM
Why did Feanor dislike his half brothers so much?
As children Feanor's half brothers stole and broke his train set.
Was there a disco located anywhere in Middle Earth?
xyzzy
04-16-2007, 04:29 PM
Yes, but it was private-membership, available to hobbits only.
How many giant floating eyes does it take to change a lgihtbulb?
Morwen
04-16-2007, 07:08 PM
How many giant floating eyes does it take to change a lgihtbulb?
None. Recent studies show that exposure to lightbulbs can have negative effects on giant floating eyes, causing them to have delusions of grandeur and seek to take over the world. They should avoid lightbulbs.
What ever happened to Indis?
Meneltarmacil
04-16-2007, 07:14 PM
I'm not sure you really want to know what happened to Indis. The incident involved about 50 gallons of glue, a lawn mower, and a box of firecrackers, and trust me, it really was not a pretty sight.
Why didn't Tolkien ever tell his readers whether Balrogs had wings?
Morwen
04-16-2007, 09:37 PM
Why didn't Tolkien ever tell his readers whether Balrogs had wings?Well, ... in an unpublished essay entitled "Balrogs - A History" JRR Tolkien does in fact address this very question. Unfortunately, person permitted to read said essay are contractually bound not to reveal any information concerning Balrog anatomy.
Did Elrond charge Bilbo for room and board at Rivendell?
Finduilas
04-17-2007, 07:01 PM
Did Elrond charge Bilbo for room and board at Rivendell?
Well he did, but there was a misunderstanding, so Bilbo just went bull hunting instead.
Why did Gollum dislike Aragorn?
xyzzy
04-17-2007, 07:56 PM
It was because of a senior prank from way to long ago; he really shows a grudge, doesn't he?
What is an elf's favorite party game?
The Elf-warrior
04-20-2007, 09:01 PM
What is an elf's favorite party game?
Pin the blame on the Dwarves.
What are taters?
Rikae
04-20-2007, 09:29 PM
What are taters?
That's the word for hobbits in the Troll dialect.
Q: Why didn't Ilúvatar just tell Melkor to 'shut up'?
Morwen
04-21-2007, 10:36 AM
Why didn't Ilúvatar just tell Melkor to 'shut up'?
Well, he was always Ilúvatar's favourite. The All Father just figured Melkor needed some time to work on his issues.
Why didn't Aragorn and Arwen just elope?
Finduilas
04-21-2007, 11:06 AM
Why didn't Aragorn and Arwen just elope?
Because society frowned upon such actions. Well, to admit the truth, Aragorn was afraid to.
Why don't Hobbits wear shoes?
Q: Why don't Hobbits wear shoes?
A: Because if they did, they wouldn't be able to massage each other's shoulders with their toes.
Q: Who from Middle-earth liked spaghetti the most?
Kitanna
05-24-2007, 02:54 PM
Q: Who from Middle-earth liked spaghetti the most?
A: Balrogs were quite fond of spaghetti, but when it came right down to it Radagast the Brown was Middle-Earth's biggest fan.
Q: What's the real reason Gandalf was sent back?
Legate of Amon Lanc
05-24-2007, 03:05 PM
Q: What's the real reason Gandalf was sent back?
His wife told him: "You dare to return home in such dirty gray clothes, you think I'm gonna wash them for you?" So he had to return and get new clean clothes...
What rock group was most popular among ME inhabitants?
Farael
05-24-2007, 03:15 PM
What rock group was most popular among ME inhabitants?
Elven Floyd... a band that was actually started by Feanor, who had to leave the band for... the reasons we all know. Some of their hits were:
Shine on your crazy Silmaril
Wish you were here (and not in Valinor... lazy elf)
Comfortably Numb in the halls of Mandos (dedicated to Feanor)
The Wall... of Angband
And their greatest hit "Another rant in Valinor" with the killer chorus "We don't need no trees of light... we don't need no Tanquetil. No happy trallaly down at Tirion... Valar leave the Elves alone! .... HEY VALAR!! LEAVE THE ELVES ALONE!"
What kind of music was favoured by hobbits?
Q: What kind of music was favoured by hobbits?
A: After Saruman's Shire tour, the hobbits decided they liked political Industrial Metal the most. It is amusing how other much advanced races like the Dwarves, didn't like such music. Now that you think about it, the answer is probably that the Dwarves took industry much too seriously. As the hobbits's industry was a joke to begin with, they made the joke go over the top and by that they became enlightened.
Q: What was the biggest inn chain in Middle-earth?
Beregond
05-25-2007, 12:14 PM
Q: What was the biggest inn chain in Middle-earth?
A: The Broken Hilton Hideout Chain, owned by Aragorn II's cousins during the time of the War of the Ring.
Q: We've all heard of the Doom of Mandos, but what was Mandos's Doom?
Q: We've all heard of the Doom of Mandos, but what was Mandos's Doom?
"Mandos's Doom" was the first version of the first-person shooter game "Doom". It is completely for MS-DOS. The game became rather popular between, funnily enough, the friends of Albert Mity, the real designer, who was a Tolkien fan himself. Unlike in the latter versions, the goal of the original was to break into the Halls of Mandos and fight your way through the dead Elves and eventually battle Mandos himself.
Q: What is the most popular video-game in Middle-earth?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-14-2007, 07:33 AM
Q: What is the most popular video-game in Middle-earth?
A: Pack-Mandos
Q: What exactly is a Ring of Power supposed to do?
Kitanna
10-15-2007, 07:37 AM
Q: What exactly is a Ring of Power supposed to do?
A: It's really just a super powered mood ring.
Q:Why did Saruman want the one Ring so bad?
Q:Why did Saruman want the one Ring so bad?
A: It would have went well with his multicolourness, as Saruman is known for his altering moods.
Q: What was Saruman's favourite TV program?
Alonna
01-02-2008, 01:29 PM
Q: What was Saruman's favourite TV program?
A. The Clone Wars animated series because Count Dooku looks so much like him.
Q. What stuffed toy does Denethor like to sleep with at night?
McCaber
01-02-2008, 01:58 PM
Q. What stuffed toy does Denethor like to sleep with at night?
A. A plushy mumak named Oliphaunt Steve.
Q. What does Pippin play in in the Shire's rock band?
Hookbill the Goomba
01-02-2008, 03:28 PM
Q. What does Pippin play in in the Shire's rock band?
A. Electric shirt collar.
Q. Where did Sauron get all those Orcs?
Alonna
01-02-2008, 03:40 PM
Q. Where did Sauron get all those Orcs?
A. From Wal-Mart. There was a fifty percent off sale.
Q. Why do none of the hobbits have lung cancer from smoking so much pipeweed?
TheGreatElvenWarrior
01-08-2008, 10:59 PM
Because of this (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=14468&highlight=lung+cancer)
How many hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?
Finduilas
01-09-2008, 11:44 AM
How many hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. By the time lightbulbs were invented, Hobbits had retired from the outside world, and so they have no lightbulbs.
What was the Hobbits favorite food?
TheGreatElvenWarrior
01-10-2008, 11:59 PM
The Pierogies of course!
What kind of orc does ballet?
Gwathagor
01-11-2008, 12:39 AM
Just about all of them, after the War of the Ring. Having been thoroughly defeated in battle, the orcs decided that they would have to drastically alter to direction of their race, and achieve greatness through cultural and technological pursuits, rather than through the martial spirit. Ballet, poetry cafes, sculpture, and the art of grilling fine steaks were all characteristics of the post-war orcish culture, ironically rejuvenated and even reborn by crushing defeat. The War of the Ring was the greatest thing ever to happen to the orcs. Orc scholars and politicians have called it "The Great Gift".
Where and when did Gandalf get his hair cut?
Farael
01-11-2008, 02:30 AM
Where and when did Gandalf get his hair cut?
When he ALMOST moved out of the way of an orc's sword too late
If most hobbits did not give Frodo as much recognition as they should have, since he kept mostly to himself and avoided fighting during the battle of Bywater, how did he manage to get elected as mayor?
Kitanna
01-11-2008, 11:00 AM
If most hobbits did not give Frodo as much recognition as they should have, since he kept mostly to himself and avoided fighting during the battle of Bywater, how did he manage to get elected as mayor?
Most people don't know this, but Frodo had secret dealing with the black market, which kept many Hobbits happy.
What were Smaug's dying thoughts as he fell into the lake?
Hookbill the Goomba
01-11-2008, 12:11 PM
What were Smaug's dying thoughts as he fell into the lake?
A: "I think I left the stove on!"
Q: Where do Dwarves wash their beards?
Laurinquë
01-13-2008, 06:51 PM
In the mirror of Galadriel
How many times can Gollum make Sam angry before Sam kills him?
Alonna
01-14-2008, 10:42 AM
How many times can Gollum make Sam angry before Sam kills him?
A. An infinite number of times. Sam is a pacifist and would never harm another living creature.
Q. What are the people of Middle Earth doing to combat global warming?
Laurinquë
01-18-2008, 03:19 AM
A. An infinite number of times. Sam is a pacifist and would never harm another living creature.
Q. What are the people of Middle Earth doing to combat global warming?
That's very easy to answer Alonna! They brought down Sauron and Saruman! The two men with the biggest carbon foot prints on earth!
As I have always said, Mordor is just a bunch of air pollution, what with all of their warring, manufacturing, and forging.
Finduilas
01-18-2008, 09:27 AM
That's very easy to answer Alonna! They brought down Sauron and Saruman! The two men with the biggest carbon foot prints on earth!
As I have always said, Mordor is just a bunch of air pollution, what with all of their warring, manufacturing, and forging.
You forgot a question.
TheGreatElvenWarrior
01-27-2008, 07:32 PM
Lauri wants to know if she can marry Pippin!:cool: Don't worry she'll kill me later!
Galadriel55
06-21-2012, 10:14 AM
Since Lauri didn't come back...
Q. What are the people of Middle Earth doing to combat global warming?
They turned off some heat sources, such as Mount Doom.
Q: Why did Denethor look in the palantir?
MCRmyGirl4eva
06-24-2012, 07:20 PM
Q: Why did Denethor look in the palantir?
Because he mistook it for his shaving-mirror
Q: Why did Gandalf threaten to uncloak in front of Bilbo?
Galadriel55
06-24-2012, 07:46 PM
Q: Why did Gandalf threaten to uncloak in front of Bilbo?
A: Well, you see, Bilbo was running an experiment about how many cloaks Gandalf can wear in warm weather, in a room with a roaring fire in the hearth. Gandalf uncloaking would have messed up all the data!
Q: Why was Saruman called Saruman of Many Colours?
MCRmyGirl4eva
06-28-2012, 02:33 PM
A: Because of all the streaks of brow, grey, and the slight green that he got on his cloak from breeding uruk-hai
Q: Why do we never learn what Legolas looks like?
Galadriel55
06-28-2012, 03:18 PM
A: because half the world would fall dead in their spots if they would find out about his gorgon-like ugliness!!!
Q: why are the Nazgul afraid of water?
MCRmyGirl4eva
06-29-2012, 06:39 AM
Q: why are the Nazgul afraid of water?
Because they never bathe, so Sauron is forced to wash them in lava to sterilize the Nine. That's eighteen armpits stinking up Minas Morgul!
Why does Sam fight with a frying pan (in the movie) when he has a sword?
Galadriel55
07-04-2012, 07:20 PM
Why does Sam fight with a frying pan (in the movie) when he has a sword?
A: Because death by a sword is too quick a death for anyone, according to Sam. He luuuurrrrves torturing people with frying pan beatings. Sometimes he makes the pans red hot, to make it more painful.
Q: What is Tom Bombadil?
Don't kill me. ^.^
MCRmyGirl4eva
07-05-2012, 10:44 AM
Q: What is Tom Bombadil?
Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow. Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow ;)
Why do we never learn Legolas's age?
Galadriel55
07-05-2012, 12:28 PM
Why do we never learn Legolas's age?
Because the number of his years is too long for anyone to remember.
Why is Shadowfax the fastest of the mearas?
Morthoron
07-06-2012, 05:25 PM
Why is Shadowfax the fastest of the mearas?
Because, unfortunately, the other 99.9% of the Mearas have been gelded.
Why are female Hobbits all named after plants and flowers?
MCRmyGirl4eva
07-07-2012, 09:03 AM
Why are female Hobbits all named after plants and flowers?
Because they are all so stupid that they need a name that is easy to remember, and plants and flowers are comon enough that upon seeing them, they get constant reminders of their names.
Why did Denethor really want to burn himself and Faramir alive?
Galadriel55
07-07-2012, 07:23 PM
Why did Denethor really want to burn himself and Faramir alive?
Denethor, poor guy, had an idee fixe that he had phoenix blood in him. He wanted to test it out. No wonder Gandalf kept assuring everyone and all that he's cracked.
Why did Aule make the Dwarves?
MCRmyGirl4eva
07-08-2012, 08:31 AM
Why did Aule make the Dwarves?
Aule made the dwarves in order to have a secret language, because he was too lazy to come up with one..
Why did Elrond send Arwen to live in Lorien instead of staying in Rivendell?
dreeness
07-09-2012, 06:17 AM
Why did Elrond send Arwen to live in Lorien instead of staying in Rivendell?
Because Arwen kept singing Lady Gaga songs in a high-pitched chipmunk-ish voice, and it was weirding everyone out.
How do hobbits trim their toenails?
MCRmyGirl4eva
07-10-2012, 02:39 PM
How do hobbits trim their toenails?
Hobbits don't trim their toenails. When they laze around on their porches smoking pipes, the stems of the pipes are so long that they burn the toenails down to a reasonable length. It's a good system, but occasionally, the hair on their feet catch fire. :rolleyes:
Why does Gandalf like to make his smoke-rings change shape and color while they float around the room?
Galadriel55
07-10-2012, 06:04 PM
Why does Gandalf like to make his smoke-rings change shape and color while they float around the room?
He fancies himself as Lord of the Smoke-Rings. This is his way of exercizing power.
Why did Luthien take Thuringwethil's form?
MCRmyGirl4eva
07-12-2012, 02:45 PM
Why did Luthien take Thuringwethil's form?
Because, even though Luthien was supposedly the most beautiful elven maiden to walk the world, she decided to kick it up a notch to look even more fabulous.
Why did Saruman use the symbol of the White Hand even though he was Saruman of Many Colors?
Galadriel55
07-12-2012, 03:04 PM
Why did Saruman use the symbol of the White Hand even though he was Saruman of Many Colors?
The origin of this ambiguous symbol is quite obscure. When Saruman created the first Uruk, the orc enraged him, so Saruman gave him a shove to the head. As it happened, his hand was covered in chalk. The orc took the print for a badge of honour, and so, the hand stuck, whether Saruman liked it or not.
What was Bandobras Bluroarer Took's favourite sport before golf came about?
MCRmyGirl4eva
07-12-2012, 05:15 PM
What was Bandobras Bullroarer Took's favourite sport before golf came about?
Foxy boxing. Few people know this, but part of the reason for such large hobbit families is that many male hobbits go to underground foxy boxing matches and come home very aroused.
Why did Legolas speak to Gimli of his "love of the lord of the white tree"?
Galadriel55
07-12-2012, 07:17 PM
Why did Legolas speak to Gimli of his "love of the lord of the white tree"?
Legolas loved himself very much. And he wanted to show it. But society encourages modesty and discourages arrogance. Little is it known that Lord of the White Tree is one of Legolas' titles.
Why did Melian marry Thingol?
crescendo.
07-12-2012, 07:26 PM
Why did Melian marry Thingol?
Little is it know that he actually got paid to marry her. In all actuality it was a good sum of cash becuase no one else wanted to deal with her.
Why is Gloin still sour about King Thranduil, even though they patched everything up about the imprisionment?
Galadriel55
07-12-2012, 07:56 PM
Why is Gloin still sour about King Thranduil, even though they patched everything up about the imprisionment?
12 Dwarves got good meals 3 times a day, but all Gloin ever got was piles of sour grapes.
^.^
What is Lembas made out of?
crescendo.
07-12-2012, 08:00 PM
What is Lembas made out of?
You know... stuff. Such as rainbows and unicorn and Gay Sharks also known as Dolphins. Oh and we can't forget the secret ingredient that is sunshine.
Why did Elrond choose to become an Elf
Galadriel55
07-12-2012, 08:08 PM
Why did Elrond choose to become an Elf
When it was time to choose, Elros put a gun to Elrond's head and told him to choose Elf. "I don't want to stay forever in this world", he said, "and I don't want you following me outside of it." So Elrond chose Elf.
Who is Ulmo?
crescendo.
07-12-2012, 08:13 PM
Who is Ulmo?
Posiedon in diguise of course... how did you not connect that?
Why is going across Rohan known as going across the Riddermark?
dreeness
07-13-2012, 03:37 AM
Why is going across Rohan known as going across the Riddermark?
Oh, because in the middle of Rohan there is a mark, that they just couldn't get ridder.
(And if that seems lame, bear in mind that you easily might've had a "Rindsay Rohan" gag instead, and nobody wants that.)
Why was the Arkenstone highly prized?
MCRmyGirl4eva
07-13-2012, 04:33 AM
Why was the Arkenstone highly prized?
Not because it was of any real monetary value, but because all dwarves share a passion for things that are sparkly. Unfortunately, as no one has yet found a way to steal the Arkenstone from iddle-Earth and rid our world of Edward Cullen by giving him to the dwarves, we are still plauged by strange sparkling creaturs thjat are deluded that they are vampires, and the dwarves prize the Arkenstone as the epitome of all things sparkly.
Why did the Balrog run to the top of Zirak-Zigil during his fight with Gandalf?
crescendo.
07-14-2012, 04:53 PM
Why did the Balrog run to the top of Zirak-Zigil during his fight with Gandalf?
Because it just wanted to be loved and noticed. (Though of course it didn't seem to realize that cruelty wasn't the right way to go about this voyage)
Why did the ring betray Isildur?
MCRmyGirl4eva
07-14-2012, 06:44 PM
Why did the ring betray Isildur?
The ring betrayed Isildur because it was already in a love affair with Smeagol.
Why did Galadriel allow Elrond to marry Celebrian?
Galadriel55
07-24-2012, 04:36 AM
Umm, what about the previous question?
Why did Galadriel allow Elrond to marry Celebrian?
He was a rich man.
Q. Who is prettier; Arwen or Eowyn
Neither. They were both quite ugly. But also rich.
Q: Who is the strongest being in Middle-Earth?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-05-2012, 02:59 PM
Who is the strongest being in Middle-Earth?
Grima Wormtounge. Perhaps not physically, but emotionally.
Why did the Balrog come after the Company?
Galadriel55
08-08-2012, 08:43 AM
Why did the Balrog come after the Company?
He wanted to ask them if they knew where he put his hearing aid. The poor old chap lost it somewhere in his large dwelling and was hoping that the strangers saw it on their way. Unfortunately, without the hearing aid, the Balrog could not hear Gandalf's "you cannot pass".
When and where did Sauron lose his finger?
crescendo.
08-08-2012, 02:07 PM
When and where did Sauron lose his finger?
How is he suppose to know. As long as he could remember he never saw it.
Why was the Balrog not allowed to pass?
Galadriel55
08-08-2012, 02:35 PM
Why was the Balrog not allowed to pass?
He didn't have a passport and lost his driver's licence - his last ID - somewhere on the way.
(I hope Boro and Fea are reading ;) *evil grin*)
How old is Treebeard?
crescendo.
08-08-2012, 04:00 PM
How old is Treebeard?
Who said he was old? Maybe he is really young, a reincarnation that remembers his past lives.
Why does Elrond remember 3,000 years ago and then some?
Galadriel55
08-08-2012, 05:02 PM
Why does Elrond remember 3,000 years ago and then some?
After about 100,000 years of life it's understandable that his memory begins to falter, so he only remembers the last three thousand of them or so.
Who were Queen Beruthiel and her cats?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-10-2012, 01:38 PM
Who were Queen Beruthiel and her cats?
Catwoman and her feline minions, of course! What else could they possibly be?
Why did Elladan and Elrohir save their mother, rather than Elrond saving his wife?
Galadriel55
08-11-2012, 12:20 PM
Why did Elladan and Elrohir save their mother, rather than Elrond saving his wife?
Oh but you see, Elrond actually didn't have a wife. He had a love affair with Celebrian that was hidden from common knowledge. It would not look well for him to go to her rescue, but it would be ok for the twins.
How are Arwen and Aragorn related?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-11-2012, 04:22 PM
How are Arwen and Aragorn related?
They are first cousins. Though a first-cousin marriage is legal in the ME equivalent of Massachusetts (which would be Rivendell), it is frowned upon and considered disgusting. Therefore, that is why they wedded in the ME equivalent of Mississippi(Gondor), where it is technically illegal, but nobody cares and so they lived happily incestuous.
Why did Bilbo and Frodo never wed?
Lollipop010900
08-14-2012, 12:21 AM
Q. Why did Bilbo and Frodo never wed?
A. Because Frodo was already in love with Sam
Q. What does Tuniviel mean in Elvish (or whatever language it is in)
Galadriel55
08-14-2012, 08:10 PM
Q. What does Tuniviel mean in Elvish (or whatever language it is in)
It means "begone" in Berengonemad language.
How many languages does Gandalf know?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-15-2012, 11:53 AM
How many languages does Gandalf know?
He knows Entish, Sindirian Quenya, the speech of Gondor, the speech of Rohan, Valinorian, the Common Tounge, and every obscure language known to Man, Elf, or Ent. The only languages he doesn't know are Dwarvish and Klangon.
How did Bard the Bowman die?
Galadriel55
08-15-2012, 06:29 PM
How did Bard the Bowman die?
Slowly and painfully.
Where did the Elves awake?
Lollipop010900
08-16-2012, 12:13 AM
Q. Where did the elves awake?
A. Somewhere
Q. How old is Eowyn?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-16-2012, 09:03 AM
How old is Eowyn?
This is a little-known fact, but Eowyn is an Entwife in disguise. She is actually the daughter of Fangorn, and thus she is many tens of thousands of years old.
How did Elros die? (Other than slowly and painfully, G55, you dang sadist):eek:
Galadriel55
08-16-2012, 02:18 PM
How did Elros die? (Other than slowly and painfully, G55, you dang sadist):eek:
Quickly and painlessly? :p
Alright, alright. He, ahh, he thought he would try parachuting off Meneltarma. But while he was flying in the air, an Eagle of Manwe took him for, well, someone other than Elros...
What is the tallest mountain in the legendarium?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-21-2012, 11:12 AM
What is the tallest mountain in the legendarium?
Mount Taco
(Sorry, I'm hungry. Anyone got a taco with mushrooms?)
Why did Galadriel dress Gandalf and Aragorn in white?
Galadriel55
08-21-2012, 12:05 PM
Why did Galadriel dress Gandalf and Aragorn in white?
She mistook them for to-be-wed maidens. Gave them bridal dresses, you know.
Why do hobbits have hairy feet?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-22-2012, 09:23 AM
Why do hobbits have hairy feet?
They actually don't. The thing is, since they don't have brains enough to wear shoes, they have wigs for their feet to keep them warm. They glue them on, then can't take them off in summer when their feet are too hot.
Why did Beren address Luthien as Tunivel?
Galadriel55
08-23-2012, 07:55 AM
Why did Beren address Luthien as Tunivel?
He was actually about to practice a spell he recently learned of how to turn people into birds. He wanted to try it on his first victim and turn her into a Nightingale.
Q: How did Boromir find Imladris?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-25-2012, 03:52 PM
How did Boromir find Imladris?
He's old-school. Everyone uses Google Maps now, but he used Mapquest.
Why did Gilraen bring Aragorn to Imladris?
Galadriel55
08-25-2012, 03:57 PM
Why did Gilraen bring Aragorn to Imladris?
So that he could find it and place its location on Mapquest, so that Boromir would eventually find it too.
"Hey, ho! To the bottle I go" - which bottle is that?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-26-2012, 05:05 PM
"Hey, ho! To the bottle I go" - which bottle is that?
Jack Sparrow's bottle of rum, which was taken to Isengard.
What else besides the hobbits was (being) taken to Isengard?
Galadriel55
08-26-2012, 05:16 PM
What else besides the hobbits was (being) taken to Isengard?
Something that Legolas was clearly nearsighted enough not to see.
What did Pippin see in the palantir?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-27-2012, 12:14 PM
What did Pippin see in the palantir?
What every little hobbit dreams about: A lifetime supply of Mushrooms. He was devastated because he could not tell where the mushrooms were.
Why did Ralph Bakshi neglect to put pants on Aragorn?
Galadriel55
08-27-2012, 12:54 PM
Why did Ralph Bakshi neglect to put pants on Aragorn?
Ranger has no pants. Ranger needs no pants.
Where did Faramir learn all his lore?
MCRmyGirl4eva
08-28-2012, 04:35 PM
Where did Faramir learn all his lore?
Bazooka bubblegum wrapper
Why did Eowyn turn into a happy little angel when she had Faramir's love?
Galadriel55
09-06-2012, 05:37 PM
Why did Eowyn turn into a happy little angel when she had Faramir's love?
The whole trick is that Faramir's love has a few side effects; for example, whenever someone has it they are drowsy, may have an upset stomach, and always turn into a happy little angel.
What did Arwen wear for her weding?
MCRmyGirl4eva
09-07-2012, 04:20 PM
What did Arwen wear for her weding?
An incy wincy teeney weeney yellow polka dot bikini :)
Why did Thranduil send Legolas to Imladris in time for the Councl?
Galadriel55
09-08-2012, 12:28 PM
Why did Thranduil send Legolas to Imladris in time for the Council?
He didn't want Legolas to be late.
What colour is Gandalf's hat?
MCRmyGirl4eva
09-11-2012, 02:45 PM
What colour is Gandalf's hat?
The books claim that it was blue, but that was just Tolkien lying. It was a pointy rainbow hat. You see, Tolkien was Catholic, and therefore did not want people to know that Gandalf was gay, and so was Saruman. (Saruman of Many Colors = Rainbow)
Why did Elrond REALLY sail for the Valinor?
Galadriel55
09-11-2012, 04:11 PM
Why did Elrond REALLY sail for the Valinor?
Someone told him that the Valar are giving out free candy.
Where is Mordor?
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh
09-12-2012, 06:17 AM
Where is Mordor?
Just outside Taunton, near Creech St Michael on the A358. Follow the brown tourist signs for the Lugbúrz, Morgul and Sammath Railway Museum.
What is a flet?
Morthoron
09-12-2012, 06:38 AM
What is a flet?
A flet is a dried bit of mucus that sticks to your nostril hair and flails about as you breathe in and out.
Why is the Máhanaxar called the "ring of doom"?
MCRmyGirl4eva
09-13-2012, 03:21 PM
Why is the Máhanaxar called the "ring of doom"?
Becayse when you hit it with a tuning fork, it makes a sound like "doom" instead of "ding"
How often does Pippin wash his furry feet?
Lollipop010900
09-25-2012, 12:37 AM
How often does Pippin wash his furry feet?
Pippin? Never. Merry does it for him!
MCRmyGirl4eva
09-25-2012, 10:35 AM
How often does Pippin wash his furry feet?
Pippin? Never. Merry does it for him!
Please post a stupid question. Thank you.
Lollipop010900
09-26-2012, 11:58 PM
Oh sorry about that :(
Why is Sauron evil?
MCRmyGirl4eva
09-27-2012, 08:51 AM
Why is Sauron evil?
Just like Hitler, he's bitter because he didn't get into art school.
How did Arathorn II really die?
Lollipop010900
09-30-2012, 07:03 PM
How did Arathorn II really die?
He died of shame because his son fell in love with Elrond's daughter (Arathorn thought Elrond was a stuck up, idiotic, annoying little- you get my drift)
Q. Why was Gimli allowed to go to Valinor?
Galadriel55
09-30-2012, 07:41 PM
Q. Why was Gimli allowed to go to Valinor?
He bribed the Valar.
Why did Arwen give Frodo her necklace?
Meneltarmacil
09-30-2012, 09:17 PM
Why did Arwen give Frodo her necklace?
She found out it was radioactive and would rather Frodo get cancer than her.
How did Gandalf survive falling to such a depth in Moria?
Galadriel55
10-01-2012, 07:47 AM
How did Gandalf survive falling to such a depth in Moria?
Parachutes.
Why do the Dwarves dream about returning to Moria?
MCRmyGirl4eva
10-01-2012, 03:42 PM
Why do the Dwarves dream about returning to Moria?
Because it's the only place they can go where Elves won't follow then to tease them about their beards and height.
Why do Balrogs have firy whips?
(I can answer this one myself, but it's not very family-friendly ;) )
Galadriel55
10-01-2012, 05:57 PM
Why do Balrogs have firy whips?
Because watery whips are not half as intimidating.
Why is Aredhel called "the White Lady of the Noldor"?
Lollipop010900
10-01-2012, 11:47 PM
Because she is always fainting and those particualr elves had no-doors (Nol-door No-door get it)
Q. Who is the hottest guy in Lord of the Rings
Urwen
10-02-2012, 03:24 AM
Ghan-Buri-Ghan. Everybody knows this.
What was Feanor REALLY hoping to accomplish by going to Middle Earth?
Galadriel55
10-02-2012, 07:36 AM
What was Feanor REALLY hoping to accomplish by going to Middle Earth?
He wanted to save some money. Real Estate was cheaper there.
What happened to Beleriand?
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