Qs and As about FOTR (the movie)... but I only want WRONG answers

[Lómelindi]

Whoops…Gimli and I posted our answers to the same question at the exact same time!

So, um…I guess pick a question and go.

[Nevfeniel]

What was the mission of the Fellowship of the Ring?
They all had to find Mt. Doom and throw Ralph Bakshi's version of LotR into it to stop the evil. smilies/biggrin.gif

Why does Aragorn have so many different names?
He has multiple personalities. Duh. smilies/wink.gif
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Why doesn't Gollum like the sunlight or moonlight?

[ElanorGamgee]

The sun and moon provide light for Gollum's groupies to find him. Whenever they see him they shriek and attack him, stealing everything he happens to be carrying or wearing at the time and forcing him to wear a loincloth and live in a smelly old mountain to hide. It was one of these groupies, an attractive hobbit named Bilba, who stole his Precious. "Nasssty fans, we hates them!"

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What was Smeágol's relation to Deágol?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

In the first grade, there was this girl he really liked. He was sneaking around her house trying to steal her diary to see if she liked him too. He accidentally sneezed, so quikly he hid in a bush. The girl wouldn't have caught him and he wouldn't have been greatly embaressed if it hadn't been for the sun reflecting of the unpowdered nose of a bird, right into the shadow where he was hiding, thus being caught. That is why he hates sunlight.
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What was gollum before he was brainwashed by the One Ring?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

In the first grade, there was this girl he really liked. He was sneaking around her house trying to steal her diary to see if she liked him too. He accidentally sneezed, so quikly he hid in a bush. The girl wouldn't have caught him and he wouldn't have been greatly embaressed if it hadn't been for the sun reflecting of the unpowdered nose of a bird, right into the shadow where he was hiding, thus being caught. That is why he hates sunlight.
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What was gollum before he was brainwashed by the One Ring?

[Cimmerian]

There were two question to go.
Here are the answers then -

What was gollum before he was brainwashed by the One Ring?
A tea taster for Galadriel.


What was Smeágol's relation to Deágol?
They were brothers, a part of the RingLing circus before they were expelled for calling each other precioussss.

Question : Of what merit did each member of the fellowship get chosen?


PS- Gimli, Elanor Gamgee's answer was way cooler smilies/tongue.gif

[ May 04, 2002: Message edited by: Cimmerian ]

[Nevtalathiel]

Let's not get nasty!

Legolas was chosen because of his camouflage hair ability, which it was hoped he would teach the other members of the fellowship, Aragorn was chosen cos you can just tell by his looks that you need him on your quest, and also because Elrond wanted to keep him away from Arwen, Frodo went because he wouldn't let anyone else touch the ring. Sam had to go because he started crying and wouldn't let go of Frodo's trouser leg. Gandalf was just generally bossy, so no one dared tell him he couldn't go and Gimli, Merry, Pippin and Boromir were taken in case the rest of the fellowship ever ran out of food!

What was special about Bilbo's party?

[Nevfeniel]

What was special about Bilbo's party?

*singsong voice* Frodo got drunk! Heeheehee. smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif
What happened to Treebeard after everyone left? Was he lonely? Did he find an entwife?

[Lómelindi]

What happened to Treebeard?
Although he never found an Entwife, Treebeard became a major figure in Middle-earth's environmental scene, and went on to become the main political leader on the Middle-earth Green Party ticket.
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How did Aragorn first meet Arwen?

[Nevtalathiel]

He bumped into her at the beauty salon, while he was having his hair and beard trimmed and a manicure and pedicure. she complimented him on huis highlights and the rest is history.

What happened at the battle of the Pelennor Fields?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

At the battle of Pelenor Fields, Suron sent a bunch of bots to knock the tar out of Gondor. Unfortunetly, electricity hadn't been discovered yet, so his robots didn't work.
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Whom did Sam's eldest daughter's son marry?

[Susan Delgado]

Goldberry. She finally got tired of Tom's senseless rhymes and when she came acrossthis hobbit lad walking in the woods one day, she just up and left him!
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Who is Goldberry, anyway?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Goldberry is a dragon is disguise.
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What was the orgin of Gandalf?

[SuadnaTheGreen]

Gandalf was sent to Middle Earth as a spokesperson for OMFWWU (old men for the wearing of women's underwear)but because of his silky robes everyone thought he was wizard except the elves, mithrandir means "cross dresser" not " Grey Prilgrim"
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What are Barrow Wights?

[ElanorGamgee]

The Barrow-Wights are fuzzy little critters that live in holes on the Barrow-Downs. They greet visitors with squeals of joy and nuzzle at their feet. Upon meeting them, Pippin begged Frodo to let him keep one, but the older Hobbit refused, saying that he'd end up taking care of it as soon as Pippin lost interest. The poor, heartbroken tween pouted all the way to Bree.

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How did Pippin almost give away Frodo's identity at the Prancing Pony?

[Lómelindi]

Pippin yelled out Frodo's name while he and Merry were fighting over who would get dibs on sharing the room (and bed) with him.
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What did Pippin see in the Palantír?

[Dimwilwareniel]

...Its hard to say actually...Pippin saw Frodo being hypnotized by Sam.

Sam has just told frodo that his belt from Lothlorien is a snake and now Frodo has grabbed onto it 'Steve the Crocodile Hunter Style' smilies/biggrin.gif and he is saying: "Don't worry Sam! I've seen this once before on TV! All you have to do is grabb the snake and break its neck...before it bites you." But the problem is Frodo has just come out of his trace and realized that the belt is still on Sam. smilies/eek.gif

--------------------------------------------How did The Watcher in fornt of the Mines of Moria wake up?

[Susan Delgado]

Aragorn got bored watching Gandalf try to figure out the password and wandered off, as he is wont to do, and accidentally tripped on a little critter lying on the path. The little creature was so annoyed at this that it magically tranformed itself into an orc 17 feet tall (its second form). In terror, Aragorn started blubbering and begging it not to eat him. Disgusted at the pathetic show this "valiant" man was putting on, the giant orc told him the password and threw him back toward his companions. It then transformed back to the little furry creature and swam off into the lake. Aragorn told the password to Merry, the first person he came across, and Merry in turn suggested it to Gandalf. Aragorn never told anyone about his run-in with the furry orc-creature, but Merry often wondered why Aragorn had told him the password instead of just telling it directly to Gandalf.
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Who was Sauron's original master?


btw, welcome to the Downs, Dimwilwareniel smilies/smile.gif

[ May 05, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[Cimmerian]

Gobo Fraggle!

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What were the Nazgul?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

The Nazgûl are the nine founders of Naughty and Zany Unicorn Lodge.
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Who's was the mother of Elrond?

[Nevtalathiel]

Elrond's mother was a balrog, but she left when he was very young. He was scarred for life by this event, but everything was solved when Gandalf discovered the Moria balrog was Elrond's mother and got them to reunite.

What happened to Beren and Luthien?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Beren and Luthien were best friends. Once they were going joy riding, the car crashed and they both died.
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What was the mission of the party of dwarves, Gandalf, and Bilbo in the Hobbit?

[Dimwilwareniel]

Their task is to travel into the world of monster rancher and find the pheonix with Holly and Genke. smilies/rolleyes.gif
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Why does Gollum like fish so much? Why doesn't he like little carrotses instead? They're supposed to give you better night vision!

[ElanorGamgee]

Gollum's granny always made him eat all his vegetables and he developed a hatred for them, especially carrots. When he wouldn't eat them, she would give little Smeágol's fish to Deágol, who would gobble it down right in front of him (Hey, you didn't think that Gollum only strangled Deágol for the Ring, do you? There was definately some resentment there). In the cave Gollum ate fish all the time without his carrots or any other vegetable in rebellion, although there was no one around to actually witness it.

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What did Bilbo say to Smaug that made the dragon so angry?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

You're so stupid you got hit by a parked car(lame, I know...)!
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Whom did Farmir marry?

[ May 05, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Lómelindi]

LIV TYLER!!!! (Because she decided Faramir was oh so much cuter than her grungy still-not-King-yet Ranger dude boyfriend.)
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What happened to Merry and Pippin after drinking Treebeard's Ent-draught?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Thet started to shrink, their hair started to fall out, and they got really weak.
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How did Frodo escape from Cirith Ungol?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

With the help of his best friend... Superhobbit! And his trusted sidekick Bilbo the Pony, Frodo turned invisible by stealing the Dark Lord's Dark Makeup (he was going through this goth phase at the time) and applying some, (alledgedly trying to get ready for a date, he wouldn't say who with, though) and Superhobbit carried Frodo out whilst riding on Bilbo the Pony. When they got out, they broke into a rendition of their hit single, "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" in honour of the help of the simple young pony.

Why do the Ents hate Saruman?

[Cimmerian]

Saruman gave the Ent-wives day jobs at Orthanc.


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What was the Last Alliance and how did it fare?

[Nevtalathiel]

The last alliance was the last mission ever undertaken by superhobbit and bilbo the pony. Unfortunately, bilbo the pony was by this time rather old and could no longer fly, so the two saviours of the universe ended up plunging to their deaths in the large blanchmange they were supposed to be defeating.


What did Pippin see in the Palantir?

[Dimwilwareniel]

Didn't someone already ask that question? smilies/redface.gif Oh, well, what the heck! I'll answer it any way! smilies/rolleyes.gif
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Pippin looked into the planatir and saw a whole garden of delicous looking carrots and mushrooms! While he does this he wonders if the Plantir is anything like the mirror of Galadriel. He goes into a glazed dreamy like expression and starts to drool...until Gandalf hits him over the head with his staff and says,"Fool of a Took" smilies/biggrin.gif
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Was that better than my old answer? feed back pls!

[Dimwilwareniel]

Oops I forgot my question!!
--Whay didn't Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas go after Frodo and Sam instead of Pippin and Merry?

[Lanniae of the Axe]

Aragorn and co. went after Merry and Pippin because they were cuter, and anyways Legolas needed to stop by Walgreens to get some shampoo (it was on the way!). :P

Okay, I don't know if anyone has asked this but:

How did Gandalf die? smilies/wink.gif

--Lanniae

[Dimwilwareniel]

Gandalf died because the love of his life(Saruman)betrayed him. He died of a broken heart smilies/frown.gif

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What was down in the smelly passage that Gandalf decided not to take?

[Nevfeniel]

Steven Spielberg, who kept asking Gandalf if he could make a movie of his (Gandalf's) travels. Gandalf said, "No, my wanderings are top-secret; I'd fall into an abyss with a firey demon before I'd let the public know what goes on in my private, wandering life!"

How long did it take for Frodo and Sam to reach Mt. Doom?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

It never said, but I figured it out. I went to Bag End and I walked to Mt. Doom taking the exact same route. It took me 250 days of actual walking, so I added 10 days because of all the fighting Frodo went through. So lets say 260 days.
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How did Frodo's mother die?(I'll give you a hint http://www.plauder-smilies.de/rough/awm2.gif )

[Cimmerian]

Primula curiously followed the fellowship, suspicious of what an old man needed with her young son and she fell down the abyss following the old wizard, thinking that Gandalf had taken Frodo with him.
Her last words were, "I am so proud that my son grew up to be so big and powerful."

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What was Legolas' reacion when Gimli was included into the fellowship?

[ May 07, 2002: Message edited by: Cimmerian ]

[Nevtalathiel]

Legolas's immediate reaction was "Wow, it'll be like a sleepover! But then Gimli refused to let Legolas plait (braid if you're American) his beard or tell him scary stories. Legolas went off crying and the only way Aragorn could donvince him to cone wa that at the end of their journey, they would play dwarf-tossing.

What happened to the Silmarils?

[The Half-Hobbit]

The silmarils were sold to a pawnshop in Mirkwood. Some years later, Galadriel visited the pawnshop while on one of her many many wanderings. Thinking they were novelty golf balls, she gave them to Celeborn. Celeborn was delighted with his present, because he could play golf in the dark wihtout fear of losing his balls. Celeborn is not very good at golf, however, and eventually he hit them into a water hazard, where they remain to this day.

Why did the orcs kidnap Merry and Pippin?

[Tigerlily Gamgee]

Because they thought they were cute and wanted them as pets!

Why did Pippin get a pint at the Prancing Pony???

[Dimwilwareniel]

Pippin got a pint at the Prancing Pony bease Strider theatened him and he was scarred.

->How long did the Entmoot last?

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Sorry to ask but does anyone know if you can change your publicity name? If you can how do you do it? I'd really appriciate it if someone told me how! smilies/smile.gif

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

3 hours, Ents are very hasty.
How did Frodo and Sam get out of Mordor after they destroyed the ring?

[Susan Delgado]

They crawled through the gopher tunnels until they were finally able to come out in the middle of Fangorn.
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How did Merry and Pippin escape the orcs?

[Cimmerian]

They gave all the Orcs wedgies, being so short and all, it was easier for them to pull it off (The stunt I mean) and they ran off while the Orcs danced around.

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What was Boromeer's reaction upon being introduced to Aragorn at Elrond's Council?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

"Crud!, now the ladies have to choose!"
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Why did the dwarves leave Moria?

[Nevfeniel]

"You are obviously royalty, so I will stop talking as soon as this sentence is over and let you speak, my king" *bows courteously*
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Why did Gandalf the Grey turn into Gandalf the White?

*whoops, I posted at almost the same time as Gimli son of Gloin! Quite unintentional. Just answer whichever one you want*

[ May 09, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Lómelindi]

When Gandalf visited Saruman and saw his groovy new tie-dye getup (as Saruman of Many Swirling Funkadelic Phantasmagoric Colors), Saruman gave him the number of his incredible tailor and dry-cleaner, who bleached Gandalf's dingy grey cloaks back to their original dazzling White-Knight-ness.
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How did Merry and Eowyn kill the Witch-king?

[Cimmerian]

They accidently served him ketchup with the burger he ordered from their all nite diner.
Now we all know that ketchup is bad for the avarage Nazgul, but being the king of them and all, he was affected fatally.

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How did the Cave Troll treat Frodo in the cave Tomb at Moria?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Like a prince! Frodo was welcomed to the Moria Hotel by the Cave Troll, who is also known as the manager. Frodo was very pleased with his stay, although other members of the fellowship complained about darkness and rotting corpses.
Who is Pippin?

[Cimmerian]

Pippin is the Handsome Prince in shining armour, saddled on a dazzling white horse that every elf princess dreams about.
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How was Lurtz created?

[Lanniae of the Axe]

A. Saruman draws a picture of Lurtz on a biiiiiiiiig piece of paper, cuts it out, and sprinkles pixy dust on it to make him real!


Q. How did everyone react towards Gandalf's death?

[Lómelindi]

"Well, at least we won't have to wonder how we keep keep running out of pipe-weed and shampoo anymore."
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What happened to Merry and Pippin when they were carried off by the Orcs?

[The Half-Hobbit]

They got into a three way staring contest with Grishnak. Eventually, Merry won, though it was a close call...Grishnak's beady little eyes don't need to blink very often.

What happened to the hobbits at the barrow downs?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Their clothes were stolen. The Wight kept insisting, "But I haven't had anything stylish to wear for ages!". Sam sued, for abuse, theft, and trauma, and won. He was awarded milllions of dollars worth in pipeweed, and became a sucsessfull businessman (businesshobbit?). This, not Frodo's measly little inheritance, is why he became Mayor.
Q: What did Arwen do to help in the War of the Ring?

[Nevfeniel]

She was a cheerleader!!! smilies/eek.gif
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What was Gandalf famous for in the land of the hobbits?

[ElanorGamgee]

He kept them supplied with weed.

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Who was Fatty Bolger?

[ May 10, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Don't you mean what is a Fat Bouger? A fat bouger is a big green thing that comes out of your nose.
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Who took over the Shire and how did the hobbits regain control?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Don't you mean what is a Fat Bouger? A fat bouger is a big green thing that comes out of your nose.
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Who took over the Shire and how did the hobbits regain control?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

The Elves of Lothlorien took over the Shire. They said they were tired of their flets and wanted something new. The hobbits tricked them by intoxicating them with large quantities of pipe weed, come from the personal supplies of Meriadoc and Peregrin, and they were commended as heroes, because of their immense sacrifice.
Why didn't Saruman like Gandalf?

[Cimmerian]

Gandalf was the teacher's favourite at Smaugwart's wizard school, and he always captained the winning Fidget teams much to Saruman's chagrin.
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Why did Gimli wish to take the fellowship to Moria?

[Nevtalathiel]

It was dark, he could claim there were bats, so he could caress Legolas's hair and no one would know it was him. he really wanted to know if Legolas's golden locks were as soft and shiny as they looked.

Where did the ring end up?

[ElanorGamgee]

On a bathroom stop at a gas station in Mordor Frodo was washing his hands and the Ring slipped off his finger and went down the drain. They never could get it out and decided it was as good a hiding place as any, since only a very desperate person would use such a disgusting bathroom.

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What is the Mathom House?

[Lanniae of the Axe]

A. The Mathom House is the Shire's finest dance hall. Booze, music, girls, anything a single male hobbit coudl ask for. Frodo never told anyone where he went Saturday nights!

Q. Who does the theme music for LOTR: FOTR???

[Nevtalathiel]

The music for the film of LOTR was written and performed by Gandalf and his yodelling chipmunks!

What was the seige of Gondor?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

All the ducks in the world got together and souronded Gondor.
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What was the wizards council?

[Lady Death]

OMG, these posts are so funny.

The wizards council is where they get together every year and polish Excalibur.


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What is a Hobbit?

[Daniel Telcontar]

The hobbit is a small creature, which loves adventures. They are famous dragonkillers, and even wizards ask for their council. The last of these famous hobbitheroes was Lobelia, who singlehandedly destroyed the Green Dragon (that is, the inn that lies i Hobbiton)

Why do Aragorn always keeps his sword with him

[Nevtalathiel]

Aragorn uses his sword to subtely cut people's belts and make their trousers fall down at amusing moments, so he'd be very bored if he was without it! The only member of the Fellowship not to recieve this treatment was Gimli, since his belt was made of metal and broke Aragorn's sword!

Where did orcs come from?

[Daniel Telcontar]

orcs origin from Acme Lab, where they are the result of Worchester sauce mixed with nitroglycerin. They are good businessorcs and due to their small stature, a very peaceful people. They are mostly settled around Oblivion.

Why did Gimli have a beard?

[Nevtalathiel]

Gimli had a beard becuasee it was a useful place to keep supplies hidden away from the rest of the Fellowship. He carried food, pipeweed and even a small zoo inside his beard, which was later discovered to be the entire world of a race of very small, razor fearing people.

Where did the Fellowship get their boats from?

[Daniel Telcontar]

They took the train to Cirdan in Falas, and purchased some from him. Then they send the boats back to Anduin by airmail.

Why did Legolas have pointy ears?

[Nevtalathiel]

It was the result of a childhood accident with a mincer, he was climbing on the table in the kitchen, when he slipped and his ear got caught in the mincer. Fortunately, his ears were quite small, so only a little bit was cut off. He couldn't stand the idea of having uneven ears, so he minced the other one as well! It was so bad though, as at the time his Dad had been trying out his new camcorder and had caught the whole thing on tape. They sent it off to the television company and won a trip to Disneyland!

Who or what was the balrog?

[Daniel Telcontar]

balrogs are a rabbitlike race, that is being bred and sold as pets. They are especially popular, since they're meat is good, so if your childs pet dies, you just have it for dinner!

Why does Elrond never wear sunglasses?

[Nevtalathiel]

Elrond never wears sunglasses, but all the other elves of Rivendell do becuase of the glare from his oh-so-white teeth! Consequently, they always bump into everything and are rather bruised. Elrond, beign vain like all good elves, would never want his beautiful face to be damaged in any way, so he never wears sunglasses. even in the dark, the glow of his teeth is bright enough to stop him hitting anything!

Who is Ted Sandyman?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Ted Sandyman is the unionleader of the businessorcs. He handles all negotiations about wages, transport, distribution and so on. But due to a case of corruption it is uncertain wether if he stays.

Why is Galadriel so protective of her mirror?

[Nevtalathiel]

Well, as Blackadder once said "Talking to myself is the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation". Similarly, Galadriel's mirror is the only way she can see what she considers to be true beauty.

How did Bilbo leave Bag End in The hobbit?

[Daniel Telcontar]

He took the plane to Bree, and from there on the train to Rivendell. But then there was not many options left, so he hard to use mountainbike to get to the Lonely Mountain.

Why are Pippin always hungry?

[Susan Delgado]

Pippens are small furry creatures commonly used as pets. They are always hungry because if their owners give them enough food, they go wild with too much energy and are very hard to control. If they're hungry, on the other hand, they are quite docile and loving, believing that if they are nice enough, they'll get something to eat. It rarely works that way, however.
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Why did the Balrog attack the Fellowship?

[Cimmerian]

The Balrog had finally got clear reception of his favourite palatir show 'the lifestyles of the regal and deranged' when those pesky fellowshippers dismantled his receptor antennae on Darrowdelf.
He had waited for years to watch this show and his wrath at being denied was immesurable, it literally set him on fire.

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How did the fellowship sans Gandalf find thier way out of Moria and to Lorien?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Luckily, Aragorn had just bought a GPS-wayfinder. When he got connected to the satellite, it showed them the quickest way to Loth-Lorien.

WHy did Galadriel give Frodo a phial?

[Nevtalathiel]

The phial of Galadriel was really a misspelling on Tolkein's patr and should have been a file. The present was actually a nail-file which should have been given to Legolas, in case he broke a nail fighting orcs!

Who did Sauron give rings to?

[Daniel Telcontar]

he gave 9 to the businessorc, as a seal of their deal, which is to transport flowers for Sauron's flowershop. He also gave seven to the hobbits as a bribe, so they would stop attacking his flower caravans. Three were given to his pet balrogs, since he liked to see the gold against their fur.¨
The last one he gave to his old buddy, gandalf, as a sign of friendship.

Where does Saruon live?

[Nevtalathiel]

Sauron lives in a retirement home for old "baddies" and tyrants. They go no day-trips to Tortureland and at the weekends, they get to eat real flesh puree.

How did Bilbo steal the treasure from Smaug's horde?

[Daniel Telcontar]

He presented himself as a salesman for a dwarf-cleaning firm. The dragon, admitting that the place was dusty, agreed to let the dwarves clean his house while he went out for a short flight. But when Smaug returned, the dwarves had taken it all.

What is a nazgûl?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

A nazgul is the finest delicacy available on Middle Earth. I have not had the pleasure of tasting it, but I have heard that it tastes like strawberries pureed with whipped cream, vanilla, caramel, and white chocolate. As a result, it is slight pinkish. But this treat is rare, being hard to make plus it must be refridgerated. Since there are no refridgerators in Middle Earth, the only nine nazguls ever made went bad, and started to chase short people on horses and stab them.
Nazgul1: Short guy!
Nazgul2: Chase him!
nazgul3: Yay!
*later*
Nazgul5: With our cool special effects, we will stab you!
Frodo: Ouch! I'm being attacked by my desert! I knew there was something gone terribly wrong with the school lunch ladies' experiment!

What relation is Sauron to Sam?

[Susan Delgado]

Sauron is Sam's landlord. He owns Bagshot Row, Michael Delving, and about half of Buckland. One day Sam decided his rent was too high. He heard about this trip someone was putting together to get rid of the crabby owner, and, well, you know the rest...
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Who or what is Michael Delving?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

He's Elvis
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Who killed Sauron or how was he killed?

[Lómelindi]

A giant foot came out of the sky and crushed him a la Monty Python. http://www.plauder-smilies.de/pyth.gif
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What is mithril?

[Manwe]

Mithril is a special materila that is only created by hobbits. It's under their feet, makes 'em real tough.

How did Gollum die?

[Cimmerian]

Gollum was eaten by a large slug eating fish when he fell into the Bruinen.

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What happened to the five individual Istari that made Middle Earth their home?

[Lanniae of the Axe]

A: After the WotR, Aragorn, who's power had gotten to his head, sent all five of them off to Senior Citizen's Homes where they got sponge baths and played bingo for the rest of their lives.

How sad. smilies/frown.gif *Dang, I just made myself cry*

:*(

Q: How old was Frodo Baggins at the age of the WotR and how did it effect the outcome of his Ringbearership?? (huh??)

[Susan Delgado]

Frodo was a doddering old fool of 400 or so. See, that's why he had to have help getting rid of the ring; he was so old that when he got to the brink of the chasm, he fell asleep! Someone had to do it, so Gollum and Sam flipped a coin and Gollum lost.
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What heirloom did Boromir carry around with himself?

[ElanorGamgee]

Boromir carried around his mother's old rhinestone necklace. He also wore her imitation pearl earrings. Odd one, that Boromir.

-----

Why did Bilbo throw a huge party before leaving and who was invited?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

He wanted an excuse to get drunk and he invited the Italian Ambassador and a dog.

What is the standard currency in ME(being serious now, does anyone have any sort of money?)

[Cimmerian]

The standard currency on ME was the Mordorian Flapjack from the mints of mount doom.

----------------

What kind of elf was Legolas?

[The Laurenendorian]

Legolas wasn't actually an elf - he was a hobbit who had been disinherited by his family, the Proudfeet, because he had a beard. He managed to turn this beard invisible, but the treatment had the unforseen side-effect of making him grow to well over 6 feet. He was welcomed back into his family until they discovered that the beard was still there (when he caught it on some ceiling rafters), at which they banished him forever.

---

How many times is the definite article ("the") used in the film?

[Nevtalathiel]

(On the money thing, there is a thread about it somewhere, I'll have a look and see what I can come up with)

Actually, the word "the" is not used at all in the films, as no words were allowed in which contained the letter "e" to make it more of a challenge for the script-writers.

Who owns the inn in Bree?

[Lanniae of the Axe]

Gimli! He and his father happen to own a chain of them all throughout northern ME from Erebor to the Shire. This guy knows his ale!

---

What was Sam's first impression of Aragorn?

[Merry]

Sam's first impression was that Strider was a pesky CNN reporter following them around covering their whole quest.

Q:Whole is Celebrian?

[ElanorGamgee]

Celebrain is a well-known Elvish pop star who performs all over Middle-earth. The Fellowship got front row seats to her concert before setting out from Rivendell.

-----

Why is Gollum so afraid of the Elves?

[ May 14, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[Lómelindi]

Because when Gollum was a little kid they beat him up and stole his marbles, baseball cap, and lunch money.
-----------------------------
Who or what is the Lord of the Nazgûl? (Oh the possibilities…)

[ May 16, 2002: Message edited by: Lómelindi ]

[Cimmerian]

The Nazgul is a million acres of lush, grey land dotted with tall spruce and pine trees.
The real estate values of this paradise are astounding and the man in charge, Gill Bates, is fondly referred to as The Lord of the Nazgul.


--------


How did the first meeting of Strider and Lurtz go?

[Thinhyandoiel]

Heh..I've never been here before..I'm laughing so hard!!

When Aragorn and Lurtz first met, they had a nice little tea party and invited all the woodland creatures for tea and crumpets. Afterwards, they played Monopoly.

~~~~~~~

What happened when Bilbo first found the ring?

[Nevtalathiel]

When Biblo first found the ring, he used it as an attractive belly button ring, as it was so shiny and bikini season was just around the corner! However, a magpie pecked out the ring while Bilbo was sun-bathing in the garden and dropped it on Sam's head.

Why did the balrog make Gandalf fall into he chasm as well?

[ May 17, 2002: Message edited by: Nevtalathiel ]

[ElanorGamgee]

The Balrog happened to know that the dwarves had built a spectacular theme park at the bottom, and he didn't want to ride "The Dragon," Middle-earth's scariest roller coaster, all by himself.

-----

Why did Bilbo never marry?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

He was a woman in disguise.

Who exactly was the Witch King?

[ May 17, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Lindolirian]

The Witch King was actually Bilbo when he got bored and felt like scaring lil hobbit lads and lasses. When he got drunk he took it a little far and killed a few people not to mention destroyed Arnor. That Mad Baggins, ya gotta watch out for him.

What is Gandalf's middle name?

[ May 17, 2002: Message edited by: Lindolirian ]

[Susan Delgado]

Howard The Duck
-------------------------------------
What is Aragorn's birthright?

[Nevtalathiel]

Aragorn's birthright was the right to remain silent, which he occasionally did. He was also granted the right to free speech, but chose to give it to Pippin, so that he could endanger the lives of the hobbits in Bree.

Who did Araorn marry?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Aragorn was always trying to expand his kingdom, so he married Sauron's daughter, Cruella De Vil. This way he got the power of Mordor, since he soon after made a plot that got rid of Sauron.

Why has Sam so hairy feet?

[ElanorGamgee]

Sam always accidentaly spilled Rogain on his feet when he put in on his head (he had a receding hairline and bald spot).

-----

Why did the Gaffer call Sam names?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Sam had a split personality, so in order for the Gaffer to make Sam pay attention, he had to call Sam 3-4 different names until Sam reacted, depending on which character he wanted to be that day.

Why does Sauron live in Mordor?

[Lindolirian]

He's actually a representative of the USGS (United Staes Geological Survey) he was sent there to see about the strange volcanic activity there. He found that he could make really cool little rings in the local volcano and decided to retire in the jolly ole land or Mordor cause it was such a nice place.....

[Lindolirian]

o right... a question

Why did frodo like mushrooms soooo much?

[The Viking Thunder]

They made him high, he saw many pretty colours.

---

Why is Gandalf called Gandalf the Grey?

[Nevtalathiel]

Well, he wanted to be called Gandalf the Great, but always got interupted while introducing himself and only ever got as far as "Hi, I'm Gandalf the Grea". People thought he was saying, "Hi, I'm Gandalf the Grey" and the name stuck.

What is special about the horn of Boromir?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Boromir keeps it a secret, but it is great for making cream with. You just have to remember to wash it properly, or it is very hard to make a tune on it if it still has cream on the inside.

Why does Gimli dislike elves?

[Melephelwen]

The Ent-wifes got kinda bored in the Fangorn-forest, so they went to The Lonely Mountain, because they had heard, that there would be an opportunity to watch the World Championship in Orc-creation on tv. Unfortunately, they couldn't get to the tv, because the room was already filled with green cheese-eaters...

How did Gollum get the Ring?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Gollum was very good at rifle shooting, and one day at a fair, he saw the ring as a first prize in the shooting tent. He won, and was so thrilled that he decided always to be near it.

Why is Galadriel so fond of water?

[Nevfeniel]

Since Celeborn can't swim, Galadriel needs to be somewhere near the water in case he falls in, so she can save him.
Who is Merry?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Merry was the inkeeper of the Prancing Pony. He hated humans and denied them acces to his inn. In the end, King Elessar executed him as a warning to all non-humans.

How did Sam become the Mayor?

[Nevtalathiel]

The voting rules of the Shire are much like those in America, where the person with the least votes wins. Sam didn't find it hard to get the least votes, as he'd been rather grouchy since Frodo left. He won with the lowest ever total of 5 votes.

What did Pippin do after the War of the Ring?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Pippin, always busy, wanted the job as a mayor instead of Sam. So he began to annoy everyone until he felt so sure that everyone hated him. Unfortunately, the hobbits hired an assasin and got rid of him before the election because they hated him so much. To bad, Pippin.

What did Saruman do before the War of the Ring?

[Nevtalathiel]

Before the war of the ring, Saruman was a door to door insurance sales man. He also sold dusters and double glazing and occasionaly delivered pizzas to make a little extra money. After the war, he diversified and began selling rings of power as souvenirs of the scenic holiday village of Mordor.

What was Leglolas's skill?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Legolas was an expert at boring people. Whenever necessary, he would talk to someone until they fell alseep. This was great at getting past guards and other unwanted persons.

Why does Sauron like rings?

[Nevtalathiel]

Well, Sauron has an octopus somewhere in his ancestry and as a result, has lots of fingers! In order to distinguish between his different hands, he wears different rings on each hand, so one has blue rings, one red and so on.

Why do hobbits like beer?

[Daniel Telcontar]

The first hobbits were in adesert, and nearly dying of thirst. Then they found a deserted inn, and survived by drinking all the beer inside. Now they celebrate this day by drinking at least one barrel of beer per family.

Why does Boromir use such big boots?

[Nevtalathiel]

Boromir is a talented tap dancer, and has to have big boots in order to make the best tapping noise.

What did Arwen do after Aragorn did?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Arwen became a disco dancer, since it was her wishdream. Unfortunately she broke her ancle soon after and died of grief.

Why is the bow Legolas' favorite weapon?

[Nevtalathiel]

Many people think that the bow and arrows was Legolas's favourite weapon, but actually, it was the bow and ribbon. He could tie a bow faster than anyone who had ever walked in ME and could lasoo orcs with them easily.

What happened to Celebrian?

[Daniel Telcontar]

She was Rivendell's best tap dancer until Arwen took her place. Celebrian became so sad, that she left Rivendell and swore to become the queen of tap dance. She is still looking for a partner, so if you tap dance, she is ready!!

Why does dwarves live in caves?

[Nevfeniel]

A long time ago, the dwarves came across a magician who asked them (very politely) to do a few things for him since he was so tired. The dwarves refused, making the magician very angry. He put a spell on all of them that made ugly boils spring up all over their faces, making the dwarves cry at their ugliness. Ever since then, the dwarves have hidden in caves and only come out if they absolutely have to.
Whatever happened to Elrond?

[Daniel Telcontar]

After the war of the ring, Elrond went into pipeweed business. He bought some hobbit farms, and ended up owning the Shire. Now, he lives on his ranch in northern Eriador, enjoying his retirement.

Why did Boromir want the Ring?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Boromir wanted the ring because he was broke. His father cast him out of the house and threatened Boromir to never come back again. Put him out on the streets you could say. Boromir had to get the ring because it was up for bids so high on e-bay, and Boromir really needed the money.

Why did Aragorn marry Arwen?

[ May 19, 2002: Message edited by: Lothiriel Silmarien ]

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Hope I'm welcome here, I have to go to the first page and see if there are any rules. I don't want to be interrupting. Sorry if I am smilies/smile.gif

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Lothiriel, your perfectly welcome, this thread is kind of different.

Aragorn married Arwen because he loved her and Arwen married Aragorn beacause Aragorn was a rich king and she was greedy.

Who was Saruman?

[ May 20, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Daniel Telcontar]

Saruman was a pipeweed distributor. He made some money and lived fairly guiet until the pipeweed harvest was destroyed, thus ruining him. Today, he's the king's jester in Minas Tirith.

Who is Wormtongue?

[Susan Delgado]

Wormtongue is the blight which caused Saruman's pipeweed business to go under. Because of this, Saruman became a wanderer, forever looking for pipeweed with no Wormtongue on it. So far, no luck.
------------------------------------
What feat was Feanor famous for?

[Lossenavariel]

He was the first being in Middle Earth to fly around the world in a hot air balloon.


Who did Sam marry?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

*Whom did Sam marry*

Sam married Arwen after shee divorced Aragorn.

What was Bilbo's first real adventure in The Hobbit?

[ElanorGamgee]

Bilbo's first real adventure was tying the pair of boots that the dwarves insisted that he wear. He tied himself up a couple times before he got the boots laced up properly, as Thorin refused to help him, saying that any burglar worth his weight in mushrooms ought to know how to tie his own shoes. (By the way, Gimli, your picture of the canibalistic smiley face is hilarious!)

-----

Why do Hobbits eat so much?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

By the way, thanks Gimli smilies/smile.gif

Hobbits eat so much because they were addicted to crack. They have to get off that addiction by eating as much food as they can hoping that it will take their minds off crack.

Why did Sauron want Ar-Pharazon to revolt against the Valar?

[ May 21, 2002: Message edited by: Lothiriel Silmarien ]

[Thinhyandoiel]

Because the Valar owned him money and he needed some people to join his "posse."
------
How did Isildur die?

[Nevfeniel]

He died when he realized he chopped the wrong ring off of Sauron's hand.
"That ring belonged to my mother! Off with his head!"
You can guess what happened next. . .

How old was Frodo when Bilbo dissapeared?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Frodo was exactly 256, but he tried to hide his age by taking pills. That way he was able to live to go on his own quest.

Why was Morgoth evil?

[Nevtalathiel]

His mother dropped him on his head as a baby, killing the part of his brain which should have controlled his conscience. As a result, he didn't have one and had no feeling of remorse or ways of telling right from wrong.

How did Feanor get back to Middle Earth?

[Elven-Maiden]

First he hitched a ride on the Starship Enterprise, pretending to be Q, and then, when he got in orbit of Middle Earth, he decided to practice his swan dive, and landed in an ocean. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Elven-Maiden]

A question... oops!

If Gollum had an answering machine, what would the message sound like?

[ElanorGamgee]

"We isn't home, my precioussss, but if you leave poor Smeágol your numberses, we will call you back on the nasssty phone in a bitsy. Talk when you hear the wicked, cruel beep. It hurts our ears, it does!"

*beep*

-----

Why did Gollum live in a cave?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Well, befoe he was living in a cave, he was living with the wolves. He thought they were very nassty, yes cruel, and so he wanted to get back at them. He stole the head wolves' LotR trading card starter pack and sold it on e-bay. The wolf got so mad and he chased Gollum in a cave and Gollum liked the cave so much so he stayed.

How did Finrod Felagund and all the sons of Feanor die? (I had to throw in Finrod, I like him smilies/smile.gif )

[Susan Delgado]

They all caught the sniffles when they crossed the northern expanse of ice and cold on their journey back to middle earth and som eyears later, all their colds turned into pneumonia. Medicine being less advanced then, there was nothing the healers could do.
-----------------------------------------
What effect does athelas have on people when steeped and inhaled?

[Cimmerian]

They recite poetry the fashion of one Jim Morrison, a hobbit of questionable repute.

-----------

Why were the five Istari sent to Middle Eath for?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

To plant pipeweed, giving this as a gift to the hobbits.
Who/What is Fatty Lumpkin, and what relation is he to Fatty Bolger?

[Elven-Maiden]

Fatty Lumkpin and Fatty Bolger are actually the same person. Fatty's parents always embarassed him by calling him Lumpkin, so he decided one day to dress up. Unfortunately, he didn't fit in his disguise.... and people called him Bolger.

---

What was so precious about Gollum's ring?

[Thinhyandoiel]

It was a one-of-a-kind special 24 k gold ring forged by the best jeweller in the Elven Realms that had the ability to turn every outfit into a lovely ensemble. Gollum, who had always been teased and picked on as a child, loved the ring because it gave him the appearance of a chic fashionable hobbit.

---

Why did Boromir want the ring so badly?

[Susan Delgado]

He wasn't satisfied to be only the beloved elder son and also wanted to be chic and fashionable. Fortunately, Frodo saw something he didn't, that is, that it would clash terribly with his outfit, and prevented him from taking it. He was rather disappointed about that at first, but he got over it. Eventually.
---------------------------------
To continue the mini-theme going, why did Sauron want the ring?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Sauron was never a really secure guy... when he had the ring he noticed that people were nice to him, like they actually waged war against him and took him seriously as an evil dude and all. Sauron never thought this was because he was actually a very sucessful villian; the others had ignored him at first because he did not believe in himself, and so they didn't believe in him. But then Sauron got the ring and is all, "oh yeah, I'm go- I mean, I'm bad," so gondor and surrounding area take him seriously. Then he loses the ring, and of course he's a whimpering pile of blubber without it, so he's all, 'but mummy, I wanna wage war NOW, and NOT have to wait two ages...' but Isildur took it, trying to get started on his own bad boy career, but we all know how THAT turned out, now don't we...

[Nevtalathiel]

Well, since Aosama didn't post a question, here goes: What did Isildur do with the ring?

[ElanorGamgee]

When Isildur lost all his money when he went bankrupt he pawned off the Ring. A little guy named Gollum got it at a bargain price since gold was so not in fashion that age.

-----

How did Gollum carry the Ring?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

He wore the ring around his big toe. He hated his toes and was all "I'm so depressed. My feet are ugly. Especially that huge, ugly big toe." So he wanted to make it beautiful and he put it on his big toe.

Why did Aragorn have so many names?

[GreatWarg]

Aragorn had so many names because he ALWAYS forgot them! So, when he first came to RIvendell, Elrond asked what his name was. He didn't know what it was, so ELrond just gave him a name "Elesser" which sounds like a girl's name because Elrond didn't know any good names for an idiot who forgot their name. Anyways, Butterbur and the inhabitents of Bree also asked for his name, and by then he had forgotten already, so they anme dhim Strider. Got it? And Glorfindel totally was confused at Aragorn, so Glrofindel called him Dunedain in Elvish, but to him it really meant done man of the west. Got it? Good.

Why did Smeagol want the Ring so badly?

[Samwise]

When Aragorn was born, they couldn't decide which relative to name him after. This part of the family wanted this name, and the other wanted that--so, his parents made out different birth certificates with the names that pleased each relative, and told them, "His name is....." When he grew up, Aragorn got sick of all the names and started just calling himself "Strider", since he had become a ranger and walked around alot. He introduced himself to people as "Strider" so no one would get confused.
---------------------------------------------
What was Hamfast Gamgee's occupation?

[ElanorGamgee]

Hamfest Gamgee was a foot masseur. The only one in the Shire, in fact. He made lots of money because Hobbits don't wear shoes, and that makes their feet very sore. Bilbo was his best customer because he was one of the only Hobbits who could afford the outrageous fees more than twice a month. He also experimented with hair styling, but that didn't go over so well. He always experimented on Sam, who's head started to resemble a beehive before Hamfest decided to move on to pedicures and manicures.

-----

What are taters, eh, Precious?

[ May 24, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[Susan Delgado]

Why did Smeagol want the Ring so badly?

What are taters, eh, Precious?

Taters are special little boxes to put small items in, usually presents. Smeagol had his girl on his mind at the time Deagol found the ring, so he asked really nicely if he could have it to give it to her to propose with. Deagol, being the easygoing guy he was, never thought twice and handed it on over. Smeagol put it in a tater and proposed, but the girl said no. He was so despondent that he ran away to a cave to hide and only there discovered the magic properties of the ring.
------------------------
HA! Two answers in one!
------------------------
How did Deagol respond to finding the ring?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Deagol responded to the ring with a girly scream, slightly gayish. He just thought it was so beautiful.....and Smeagol wanted the ring and he was all up in his face u know what i'm sayin??? ok sorry...but they started a hissy fit with each other and Deagol ended up dying for being so stubborn, which sounds a lot like my sister....I think I need to call Smeagol on her smilies/smile.gif

Why do the elves always look so fanciful and so pretty, and they guys just look so hot. And why do they always just look ever so young???

[Nevfeniel]

Face lifts. What is Middle Earth coming to? smilies/rolleyes.gif (that wasn't my question, by the way)
*****************
Going with the ring theme, why did Gollum call it his "precious" all the time?

[Elven-Maiden]

Gollum grew up in total isolation. He never even looked in a mirror. When he found the ring, he instantly fell in love with the reflection of his face (not realizing it was his own). One day he was walking by the lake, and he saw the whole reflection of himself. Thinking it was drowning, he dove after it, but couldn't save it. Realizing that had lost his true love (his reflection), he stole away into a dark cave. He kept the ring because it reminded him of his reflection, and his true love, and forever after called it "My Preciouss".

---

Why do Hobbits eat so much?

[Nevtalathiel]

Hobbits are like humming birds and have such a high metabolism and are so active, they must eat 6 times thier own body weight in food everyday just to stay alive. It's one of the mysteries of creation!

What did Tom Bombadil wear?

[Lómelindi]

A chic little ensemble consisting of a botanical-printed embroidered silk shirt by Gucci, retro flared-leg polyester pants, patent leather riding boots by Prada, and a vintage designer fedora.
----------------------------------------
This one I absolutely positively could not resist…
Who is Figwit? smilies/wink.gif

[Susan Delgado]

Figwit is a Numenorian insult meaning approximately "dimwitted lunatic"
--------------------
Who is Figwit, really? I've never heard the name.


-------------------------------------
How did the ring come into being?

[Nevtalathiel]

Go to Figwit Lives! (http://www.figwitlives.net), it explains it all, I hope! I found it so amusing, I had to have Figwit as my picture (yep, that's Figwit!)

The ring was created by aliens as their first attempt at making intelligent life. Unfortunately, it tried to take over their planet and after many long battles, they managed to capture it, though half their population was wiped out as a result. The craftsman who had made the ring had forgotten to add the self-destruct button, so the aliens had no way of destroying the ring and instead threw it into space. After many long adventures, the ring hurtled to Middle Earth and was picked up by Sauron, who was a keen astronomer and wanted to study it.

What was the ring made of?

[The Viking Thunder]

Dough, as in croissant, sprinkled with sesame.

----

How did Gimli join the fellowship?

[Nevfeniel]

Gimli was very short on cash, and when he saw the ad in a newspaper for a loyal companion, he jumped at the opportunity for some money. When he found out more about the job (that he had to go on a quest with eight others and only so much food), he was a bit reluctant, but took the job in the end.

[Nevfeniel]

Oops, forgot the question.
Who is Galadriel and what connection does she have with Denethor?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Galadriel is a pizza girl. She delivers pizza to Denethor every so often. He liked her and kept ordering pizza but when he found out that she was 1/134 part glosapotataurus, and that she was married, he burned himself. Alive.

(I'll do this for Figwit)
What is the relationship between Legolas and Figwit. How do they know each other?

[Elven-Maiden]

Legolas and Figwit are best friends. At least, they were until they bother fell in love with me. Now they're bitter rivals! :P

---

Why did Gollum have a lisp?

[piosenniel]

Because he got a tongue piercing at the Mordor piercing parlor.

What is Amon Sul?

[ May 26, 2002: Message edited by: piosenniel ]

[Naaramare]

Amon Sul is an expensive escort service frequented by the hight of Gondorian society. Blondes, brunettes, redheads and orcettes, call them today!

What does Arwen see in that Aragorn guy, anyway?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Well, she fell in love with Snagar-kutha, the orc. But he died and she was so sad, and a little crazy, and she thought that Snagar was reincarnated to be Aragorn. She sees her orc love in Aragorn. So she doesn't even love him, and he feels pretty much the same way cuz he's in love with me.....ok, but seriously he's only marrying her so that he can feel special. Since he's gonna be king, he wants to build himself up more by marrying an elf.

Why do the Nazguls serve Sauron?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Because Sauron was the only guy who included free monthly and emergency manicures, pedicures, makeovers and hairstyling in their benefits package. Nazgul gotta keep stylin', y'know.
Question: What part did the Pilsbury Doughboy play in the War of the Ring?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

The Pilsbury Doughboy proved his loyalty by being one of the best captains. He fought hard, but his companions almost starved so they ate him.

Why do the Nazguls have flying friends. The ones they fly on?

[Susan Delgado]

Go to Figwit Lives!, it explains it all, I hope! I found it so amusing, I had to have Figwit as my picture (yep, that's Figwit!)

That's very entertaining smilies/smile.gif

[Samwise]

Why do the Nazguls have flying friends. The ones they fly on?
Because their black horses were made of ash, from the fires of Mount Doom. They'll dissolve in water, so the Nazgul needed friends that fly to get over the water with.
---------------------------------------------
What were the names of the nine members of the Fellowship?
Sam sat down, blushing and muttering.
"A nice pickle we have landed ourselves in, Mr. Frodo! he said, shaking his head.

[Elrian]

Virl, Tom, Alan, Wayne, Merrill, Jay, Donny, Marie, and Jimmy Osmond. smilies/biggrin.gif

How did Sauron really get off the Island of Numenor?

[Frodo Baggins]

This is off the subject, but Lomelindi, That quote by Elijah Wood in you signature, about being against the grain of society, has been my philosophy for years. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that thinks that way.

[Nevfeniel]

His private jet, of course! smilies/biggrin.gif

Who are the Sackville-Bagginses?

[Naaramare]

A small religious group from the coast of Managongo, which itself is off the coast of Berlin. They believe that God is a mango in disguise and thus eating fruit is heresy punishable by death.

Where did Gollum live?

By the way, Nevfeniel, I love your quote about the prince.

[ May 26, 2002: Message edited by: Naaramare ]

[Nevfeniel]

Thanks, Naaramare. I got it at www.hotquotes.com (http://www.hotquotes.com)

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Gollum lived in a cave behind the Kremlin.

----------------------------------

How do you spell "The Silmarrilian"?

[Samwise]

Sill-my-really-an
A combination of what folks have said about the book
Sill: "Boy, some of these names are Silly!"

My:"Yes, I know, my tounge hurts after trying to say some of them. "

Really: "Really? Take two aspirin, "

An: "An' call me in the morning. "
---------------------------------------------
Why were hobbits afraid of water?
"Of all the confounded nuisiances you are the worst, Sam! "
~Frodo Baggins

[Susan Delgado]

They all mistakenly believe they're made of spun sugar and think that if they get wet, they'll melt away to nothing.
-----------------------------------------
Why do hobbits like beer so much?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Who doesn't?
---------------------------------
How did Frodo learn about the evilness of the ring?

[Nevfeniel]

Gandalf sent him an IM reading:
hey frodo. how u doing? im doing good, but u know that ring? its evil. ill call u later wit details. peace, gandalf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What kind of movies do the members of the Fellowship like to watch? (Die Hard, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, just to name a few for you) Actually, Die Hard is my fave movie, after LotR, of course.

[ May 27, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Elrian]

Dracula movies smilies/evil.gif

What do Elves eat for breakfast?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Elves diet on cat tails. They like 'em burnt to a crisp also.

Who was Aragorn's companion while he was a ranger? Or did he wander alone. (Name why he wandered alone if that is your choice.)

[Daniel Telcontar]

Aragorn wandered alone like any real ranger. The secret behind this is that they have great hairgrowth and don't want anyone to see them when they shave.

Why does Boromir come from?

[piosenniel]

Boromir came from the void. He really was Melkor in disguise.

If Sam could swim, what would be his favorite stroke?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Butterfly, because he likes to fly with American Airways and because he eats so much butter.

Why keeps Aragorn from using a shield?

[Elrian]

His deodorant is effective enough smilies/biggrin.gif
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Where did the Fellowship really go?

[Nevtalathiel]

Aragorn used his shield as a sled, bith on Caradrhas and to go down the falls of the Rauros. It was so fun, he didn't want to risk breaking his shield in a fight.

What was special about Boromir's shield?

[Nevtalathiel]

Aaah, foiled!

They went to Macdonalds, where the happy-meal toy was FOTR action figures.

Question as above!

[piosenniel]

The Green Dragon - it was known for accomodating large parties.

Who reforged Narsil?

[Elrian]

What was special about Boromir's shield? It was made out of tin cans! Who reforged Narsil?



Sauron! smilies/evil.gif smilies/eek.gif smilies/evil.gif
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What were the real names of the Valar?
smilies/frown.gif

[ May 27, 2002: Message edited by: Elrian ]

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

My cat. His name at the time was Meow-Mix Sundernan, but he thought the appropriate name for reforging a sword for a king would be Viggo Mortenstern. (I had to take that from Christina Ricci. I love how she named her cat that!!)

Why do the Valar never come to Middle-Earth? (anymore)

[piosenniel]

What were the real names of the Valar?


Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Bashful, Doc, Happy, Snow White, & the Evil Stepmother.

Why do the Valar never come to Middle-Earth?

Melkor set up a Club Med in the Void. It's much more fun!

What is Amon Hen?

[ May 27, 2002: Message edited by: piosenniel ]

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Damn I'm too slow!!!! Isn't that funny how we both used the Valar though? Ok, I'll answer your question:

The real names of the Valar are:
Pinky, Dorry, Bwishka, Viggo Mortenstern, Heiniken, Calamari, The Real Slim Shady (not the fake one), Meow Man, Shmorgulsborg, Liberaci, Calahan, Billy Boyd, Scotch, and Nessie (also known as Lochy by some people)

Since I like the name thing, how about:
What are the names of the children of Finarfin?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Piosenniel, you beat me to it! I'm really slow today! Ok, but I'll answer your question:

Amon Hen is a resort for the dead. When they die, they go there and hang out with all the other dead, smelly, rotten people.

And, since it's my turn for a question, just use the one on top, my last post!

[GreatWarg]

The names are Finarfin Jr. the 1st, Finarfin Jr. the 2nd, Lil. Ms. GaladFinarfin, and Finarfin Jr. the 3rd!
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Who really threw Morgoth into the void?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

My cat threw Morgoth into the void.

nice names by the way smilies/smile.gif

Who is the ruler of Barad-dur?

[Nevfeniel]

Elves diet on cat tails
You mean the plant, right?
Who is the ruler of Barad-dur?
My uncle Tom!
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If Aragorn had a German sheapherd, Arwen had a chow, and Merry had a shar-pei, what's an entwife?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Stalin
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What was Aragorn's father's name?

[Samwise]

Thorn. He was so named because his mother had him in the rose garden.

What was the reason for hobbits naming their girls for flowers and jewels? Sam passed a hand over his eyes, brushing away the tears. "Steady, Gamgee!" he said, "Think, if you can! He can't fly across rivers, and he can't jump waterfalls. He's got no gear. So he's got to get back to the boats. Back to the boats! Back to the boats, Sam! Like lightning! "

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Nevfeniel, I know it sounds mean, but I was staring at my cat when I read that question so.....don't get me wrong I love my kitty though!!

Hobbits name their children after flowers and such because they think that that's how they'll get their kids to smell nice and pretty.

Why do some elves live in forests?

[Nevfeniel]

It's okay, Lothiriel. It's not that mean, in fact, it kinda made me laugh.
Anyways, some elves lived in forests because they were too cheap to get a house or apartment.
this might have been asked before, but what happened to the ring on Mt. Doom?

[Susan Delgado]

Having a little trouble with toes here, weren't we? smilies/smile.gif

Being psychic, the ring knew why they were all going to Mt Doom, and when Frodo got to the brink, it was doing its best to convince him not to throw it in (since it didn't want to die) and it would have succeeded until it espied Gollum coming up behind Frodo. At that point, it figured if it did nothing it was doomed (um...no pun intended), so it unfurled its wings and flew away. It was never seen again by anyone in Middle Earth, but I happen to know it "lived happily ever after to the end of its days"
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Where did Bilbo go when he left the Shire?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

The Kremlin.
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Who was J.R.R. Tolkien?

[Cimmerian]

The owner of the Wacky World theme park and TookBrandybuck Burgers in Numenor.


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How many times did Frodo wear the ring and what happened each time he did? (stick to the movie for this one please)

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

I'll try to stick to the movie. smilies/smile.gif

Frodo wore the ring 3 times.
The first time he was at the Prancing Pony. He put the ring on and Aragorn liked his dance so much, he went to go congratulate him but he couldn't find him. He went back to the room to go cry, but he found Frodo there. That's also why Aragorn became their companion.

The second time was on Weathertop when Frodo saw the Nazguls. He wanted to surprise them, but failed to do so. He ended up with chipping a nail and was very unsatisfied. He cried.

The third time was when Frodo was on Amon Hen. He put the ring on while playing a game with Boromir. They were playing hide and seek, and well, Boromir got TOO into the game you could say, it was his turn to get Frodo,and Frodo doesn't row his boat that way, so Frodo got scared and dove into the water which forced him to wash up on the other side. Sam was there waiting for him because of his pshycic powers, he was able to know that that would happen to Frodo.

(I purposely know that he put the ring on more times though. I hoped I stuck to the book, I tried. smilies/biggrin.gif )

How did Luthien meet Beren?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

They met at a Communist rally.
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What was Beorn?

[Cimmerian]

Beorn was the king of Gondor after the fall of Aragorn. He was a noble and peace loving king and brought much prosperity to Gondor and it's allies. He ruled for 3 ages.

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Why did Boromir attend the council of Elrond?

[ElanorGamgee]

*Aside to Gimli: Have you been studying the Communist takeover of Russia by any chance? smilies/biggrin.gif

Boromir attended the Council of Elrond because of the cool freebies that the Elves were giving out. He got a pen and pencil from Lothlórien National Bank, free Lemba samples, and watched a miruvor tasting demonstration.

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What are the Hobbits' favorite pasttimes?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Ahh, tis a very nice chance that I got to answer this one. If someone doesn't before me! Hmmmm, ok let's see. Hobbits are delightful creatures, taking pleasure in hunting games, such as find-the-lost-arm-of-the-hobbit-that-you-"accidently"-sliced-off-with-a-razor-sharp-implement-of-destruction. They love that one. And sometimes they find more than an arm! And they also love getting drunk and throwing fits. Sometimes they just may wake up and find their friend or relative lying dead next to them. Hey they can't help it when their drunk! And there's a big population of hobbits anyway, they have lots of kids. Like take Sam Gamgee for example.....

Why did Faramir marry Eowyn?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Because Faramir really was Lenin in disguise and his wife wasn't really his wife, but a man that escaped from prison and had a very sizable sum of money hidden away and since Lenin got him out of jail he financed Faramir's nuclear missle project.
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Who created the Ents?

(My brother is studying Communism and I have learned a lot about it lately)

[ May 29, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[ May 29, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

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[ May 29, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Ronald McDonald created the Ents as attractions at his McFunWorld. Unfortunately for Ronnie, the Ents rebelled against his leadership because he forced them to entertain the kiddies by threatening to take away their hair curlers and nail polish. The terrified Ents managed to escape with the help of a certain Minillium Dresspeter, but he was more controlling than Ronnie, making the Ents work in his circus to 'pay off' their debt that they incurred when he rescued them. The Ents escaped from him, too, and are now living on reserves in Middle-Earth. The reserves are much too small, but they console themselves by saying that it is better than waking up to the smell of BigMacs.

Question: Does Frodo eat the red ones last? (Ever heard of Smarties?)


And yes, I am studying the French revolution in history. How did you guess?

[Thinhyandoiel]

No. Frodo always ate the yellow ones last cuz they reminded him of a certain golden trinket he used to carry around with him. He'd carry the yellow smarties around instead, but they always melted in his pocket, so he ended up eating them anyways.
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Why was Sam so fond of Bill the pony?

[The Half-Hobbit]

Sam was fond of Bill because Bill gave great massages. It's not commonly known, but Bill was a crossbreed pony: his sire was a Welsh mountain pony and his dam was a chiropracter. Bill's uncanny ability to relieve muscle tension and increase energy flow through the chakra points made him very dear to Sam and the rest of the fellowship. they were very sad to leave him at the entrance to Moria, but the tentacle-monster was willing to double Bill's salary, and that was an offer Bill could not refuse.

Who fought the Balrog, and what happened during and after the battle?

[Susan Delgado]

The Moria goblins fought the Balrog because they were tired of being dicated to by someone who doesn't even have a real body for crying out loud! The Fellowship all thought the goblins were shooting at them, but they were actually shooting at the Balrog and were simply very bad shots. After the Fellowship got across the bridge, someone finally managed to land a hit, breaking one of the Balrog's fingernails. It had just had a manicure, so this made it angry, but it was still willing to let the goblins go until another arrow landed in its hair and stuck there. The Balrog was ridiculously proud of its "do" and having an arrow sticking out of it was simply the last straw. It found and slaughtered every goblin in the place. After that was finished, it looked around for the nassty creatures that had woken it up originally, but they had all managed to escape. The Balrog was very disappointed, but all it could do was shrug and go back to sleep.
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Why did the Balrog attack the Fellowship?

[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

The Balrog was an avid doll collector. It saw the Hobbits, thought they were dolls, and instantly wanted them. The hobbits were very annoyed by this, and kept insisting, "I'm NOT a doll! I'm a hobbit, thank you, and I don't take kindly to being dressed up and going on 'dates' with a plastic man named Ken!"
Who gave up her/his immortality?

[Cimmerian]

Tom Bombadil, when he was chosen to captain the Mighty Ducks hockey team.

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Why did Gimli and not Gloin join the fellowship?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Gloin was too busy running his health spa, where the Fellowship stayed for a few weeks before leaving Rivendell.

What/who is/was/will be a Warg, and are Wargs usually named Fluffy?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Wargs were the secret creations of Herr Kartoffelkoph(Mr. Potatohead during World War II.
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Was the ring made in China or Japan?

[ May 31, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Nevtalathiel]

The ring was actually made in Taiwan, in a sweatshop where thousands of evil rings are churned ou every day.

(Herr Kartoffelkopf! smilies/biggrin.gif )

Who, or what was Goldberry, and what did she do after Tom Bombadil gave up his immortality?

[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: Nevtalathiel ]

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Goldberry was the One Ring's first name, and she dumped Tom Bombadil after he gave up immortality. This was because Rings can't live with mortals, and now Tom was mortal. Tom did not see the logic in this, and died of a broken heart and broken leg several years later. To this day, if in Middle-Earth one is called a "Goldberry", it is synonomous with our 'maneater'.
Who is Imrahil? (no really, who is he?)

[Nevtalathiel]

(Really, I think he was some relation of Boromir and a powerful dude in Gondor.)

Imrahil means "one who has been recorded" and the name is used to refer to influential people in Minas Tirith, as their names are written down in large book, along with their great deeds, such as "poked an orc in the eye" and "walked along the city walls naked".

Why do the Rohirrim like horses so much?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Because cars hadn't been invented, and they were safer than broomsticks.
What does the name "Figwit" mean?

[Nevtalathiel]

Figwit is an abberviation of something said by Elrond after Isildur refused to climb the cracks of doom and throw in the ring. Elrond, in his rage, shouted out, "Forget it Isildur, Go Where I Tell (you)"

Who ate the last slice of mushroom pie?

[piosenniel]

Barliman Butterbur as he was cleaning up the common room.

Who sews the vests that Bilbo wears?

[Daniel Telcontar]

Bilbo only wears clothes made by the famous tailor Gollum. Once, though, Gollum thought Bilbo cheated him of his payment and his believed him to be a thief ever since.

What is Boromir's relation with Gondor?

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Boromir was the cheese-eater inspector. His eccessive eating of poison-infested cheese partially contributed to his death.

What made Turin marry Nienor (or Niniel)?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

Turin married Nienor because her father was a major producer of chocolate easter bunnies, and he was loaded and turin needed money for his troops. Marrying her thus made it so Turin would inheirit the easter bunny empire and a lot of money would come his way.

What was illuvatar's other name?

[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: Anarya SilverBranch ]

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Although he managed to conceal it from the Ainur, Illuvatar's other name was Galadriel. The Galadriel in the Lord of the Rings was his first and only fan, and she named herself after him.
What was Celebrian's relation to Arwen?

[Nevfeniel]

She was her hairdresser, who was very nosy. She always pressed Arwen for details about her relationship with Aragorn, then gave her (unwanted) opinion. Arwen eventually went to a different hairdresser after Celebrian started to ask her questions about her father. . .

Who was Nienna? (yes, I finally found the Silmarillion. Yay!)

[Samwise]

Nienna was the nice old lady who showed you what aisle the Silmarillion was on in her bookstore.
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What is a neekerbreeker (really?)
It was Sam's turn that day to take the first watch, but Aragorn joined him. The silence grew until even Sam felt it. The occasional movements of his feet became loud noises. Sam could hear his own joints creaking, if he stirred.

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

A neekerbreek is an accronym of North Eastern Ent Killing, Eating, Running, Burning, Rolling, Etching, Extracting Klub

(seriously though I have no idea what one is)

Whom are all the wizards in the Wizards' Council?

[Susan Delgado]

Merlyn, Erasmus, Harry Houdini, Erana, Aziza, and one that has too many names to be able to put just one down here.
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For what purpose did the council meet?

[Kettle of fish]

To exchange recipes and cooking tips.

What was the one ring made of?

[Nevtalathiel]

The one ring was made by the wizard's club, and was actually the world's smallest donut.

(Neekerbreekers were the gnat-like things which bit Sam, Frodo and Gollum on the Emyn Muil, I think)

How was the one ring made?

[Daniel Telcontar]

By using lots of baking powder and sugar. Then it was baked at 5000000000 degree celsius and then they put the inscription by using cream.

Who was the creator of the One RIng, and why did he create it?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Aragorn created the One Ring as a present for Arwen. Celebrian, Arwen's hairstlyist, unfortunately got hold of the ring and decided to rule the world!
Who was Tuor?
(Neekerbreekers are the insects in the Midgewater Marshes, after Bree but before Weathertop. It's Sam name for them because of the sound they make)

[Daniel Telcontar]

Tuor was a man of trade, who sold swords to orcs in Beleriand. Unfortunately the Valar destroyed his business when they destroyed the orcs in Beleriand, so to compensate him they gave some land in Aman.

Why was Gimli allowed into Aman?