Qs and As about FOTR (the movie)... but I only want WRONG answers

[pippin_took0]

I hope the title says it all. Still I'll explain how the game goes anyway.

Okay, I will ask a question about FOTR, the movie and the next person will have to give me a WRONG answer for it. The answer can be ridiculous, or funny as long as it's WRONG. Then this person will pose another question and the third person will continue on... get it? You always have to answer the question posed by the person above you and then come up with a question of your own for the next person.

Simple enough?

I'll start:

How did Frodo get to Rivendell?

[Starbreeze]

Hover-craft! He took the hover-craft from the landing point at Mordor! smilies/biggrin.gif

[pippin_took0]

What happened at the council of Elrond?

[The Half-Hobbit]

At the council of Elrond they all played with Barbie dolls untill it was WAY past bed-time. Merry and Arwen got into a fight because she said that he stole her Ken Doll, but that's not true. Aragorn threw Ken in a toilet and she was covering for him because she knew Elrond would be mad when he found that he needed to call a plumber.

[The Half-Hobbit]

What did the company find in the mines of Moria?

[Sam Gamgee]

A kitten. Sam went wandering off, cos he heard a soft noise, and found a little kitten. Gandalf got embarrassed cos he had thought that there was actually something dangerous in the mines. Sam got to keep the kitty, and Bill wandered in after them, so Sam then had a pony, and a kitten.

[Sam Gamgee]

What does Aragorn use to fight off the Nazgûl with on Weathertop?

[The Half-Hobbit]

Windex.....it really stings your eyes you know.

[The Half-Hobbit]

What is the name of Sam's pony friend?

[Dior]

The Necromancer. Called so because of his superb flying abilities.

[Dior]

What are the men of Rohan called?

[Wool12]

Rohanians! Duh

[Wool12]

Where is Frodo from?

[Dior]

Frankfurtemburg, but it was called Frankfurtemburg in Hobbitish.

[Dior]

What do Hobbits eat?

[Watcher in the Water]

Tree Bark - The tannins provide healthy doses of anti-oxidants, preventing aging. It also is an ideal source of fibre...

[Watcher in the Water]

How exactly did Smaug die?

[Nuquernathonien]

...Bilbo threw a rock and it hit him(Smaug) between the eyes!

[Nevtalathiel]

Whoever answered last doesn't seem to have asked a question,so I hope you don't mind me jumping in here

Who (or what) was Gandalf?

[Menewilwarin of Mirkwood]

Little does anyone know but Gandalf actually owned and ran a cloak shop in lorien... smilies/biggrin.gif

[Menewilwarin of Mirkwood]

How did Gandalf 'defeat' the balrog in Moria?

[pippin_took0]

He offered to sell him a cloak, made with only the finest lorien-cloth, the cheapest you'll find, willing to negotiate...

[pippin_took0]

Who was Frodo's 'loyal companion'?

[pippin_took0]

Sauron, who loved Frodo so much he gave him a special ring so he could always remember their time together.

Who did the hobbits meet in Bree?

[Eowyn of Ithilien]

an evil Smurf by the name of Gobbledegook

[Nevtalathiel]

Ok, since Eowyn hasn't posted a question, here's one;

What did Galadriel give to Frodo when he left Lothlorien?

[Dolenthangiel]

an invisibility cloak and a firebolt (obviously she had been watching too much harry potter)

Who and what is Legolas?

[Nevtalathiel]

A Legolas is a type of evil, dangerous monster, which can freeze people using its laser eyes. The one in the fellowship was kidnapped by Celeborn and hypnotised to make him good.

Other than the one ring, were they any more, who were they given to and what did they do?

[Nefwathiel Teleri]

You guy are seriously wacked.

[Lostgaeriel]

There were 5 Olympic Rings given to the 5 Istari (Athletes). These rings gave the athletes corporate sponsorship power but corrupted them each according to his personality and ability. Saruman whined and whined until he was given a gold medal that matched Gandalf's. Radagast threw the bronze-medal game - he was bought off with a pair of running shoes and a case of cola. It was believed but never proved that Gandalf cheated. Rumours of his steroid use and blood-doping are still circulating in Middle-earth.

What colour is Galadriel's hair?

[ April 05, 2002: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]

[Alcarinque]

It's hard to say... depending on the age you are talking about, at first she wanted to be rebel so she dyed it pink, but she didn't like it and she ended up with green hair, , then she went through her "goth phase" and dyed it black (alongside her clothes). Nowadays she went from blonde to redhead several times, and still can't decide which one suits her best.

Q: Which races are represented by the fellowship?

[ April 05, 2002: Message edited by: Alcarinque ]

[The Half-Hobbit]

Legolas was a Vulcan....the ears give it away. Gimli is a VERY small klingon. Merry and Pippin are munchkins from Munchkin Land...they dance for the Lollipop Guild. Gandalf is the second cousin once removed of the Energizer Bunny. Aragorn is a pony...Bill is his brother. Sam, Frodo and Boromir are all a kind of large salamander.

Why are the Hobbits' feet so tough?

[Birdland]

When hobbits are born their feet are just like everyone elses. But the mother hobbit lovingly holds her child's feet to a belt sander every night. This eventually builds up tough callouses on the soles. (If the mother hobbit is good at it. It takes practice.)

As they grow, the children will do other things to get the perfect Halfling look; such as running on cinder tracks, stomping playfully on the feet of friends and siblings, and wading in lye.

Also Hobbits sleep suspended upside down in special "toe slings" so they can get the requisite length.

It sounds like alot, but it's all worth it. After all, who's going to marry a Hobbit with little, soft, naked feet?

Question:

How did dwarves mine mithril?

[Nevfeniel]

They don't really. That's just a myth. Actually, the dwarves have nothing to do with it. They take credit for the Elves who own a factory making mass-produced mithril swords, chain mail, etc.

[ April 06, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Lady Galadriel]

The dwarves use rather intelligent, and blind, earthworms, which wear exquisitly marked pink hard-hats, to feel for the mithril, after which the dwarves pour green-tea icecream over the spots indicated by the worms, which melts away the rock, and the mithril remains
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
How do elves make lembas?

[Nevfeniel]

Lady Galadriel, your answer was better than mine! Anyways, the Elves make lembas by calling up their good friends in the land of Keebler to get the recipe. Then, their good friend Martha Stewart comes over and makes the lembas according to the recipe, since the Keebler Elves can't write in anything except their own native language, and Martha is the only one who can translate.
Sorry, I know that's pretty stupid, but I'm not quite as funny as most of the people in here. Here's my question: What was the name of the town the hobbits met Strider in?

[ April 06, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Lady Galadriel]

I like your answer!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kracow, Kansas, in Lothlorien, and the hobbits reached there via a rather large tsunami. Strider got there because he won the figure skating competition, won the lotto, and decided to take a tropical vacation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How did middle earth get its current shape?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
BTW you can just post the question once you answer, because I need to leave

[ April 06, 2002: Message edited by: Lady Galadriel ]

[Alcarinque]

There once was a boy who liked baking cookies, one day, he was really bored ans started mixing the dough... he then shaped it as mountains, lakes, rivers...and so he created... MIDDLE EARTH...

(that's not funny... is it? sorry)

Q: What are the Argonath?

[ April 06, 2002: Message edited by: Alcarinque ]

[Lostgaeriel]

The Argonath are a CFL (Canadian Football League) team based in Toronto the Good, or the Clean or Hogtown. In the 50's, I think - well, sometime in the Second Age - they made famous the "Argo bounce", which is when the ball carryer fumbles the ball and it miraculously bounces back into his hands.

Who was Gil-galad?

[Bramblerose Gamgee-Took]

Gil-galad is the founder and creator of Tupperware. He also tried to steal the secret 11 herbs and spices from the Kernal (sp?) Sanders.

This is fun! smilies/biggrin.gif

Where did the Ent-wives go?

[Neferchoirwen]

How did dwarves mine mithril?

My answer would be that yes, no one really knows. But after Snow White left her Prince Charming, the cave they were mining was already unsafe for them to work in. So there. They moved to mithril.

Who was Gil-galad?


He's actually Sauron's long lost twin.

My question: Who is Gollum?

[Nice-Smeagol]

Gollum is Frodos Uncle.

Q: Who is Aragorn?

[Alcarinque]

The Argonath are a CFL (Canadian Football League) team based in Toronto the Good, or the Clean or Hogtown.

He's a sadly famous captains of the Argonath. He went crazy and started dreaming about being a king, and something about a ring.He fell in love with a woman while at the mental hospital and they lived together the rest of their long lives.
According to sources, he spent his last days saying that he saw elves and dwarves, and even more strange characters, unheard of, called HOBBITS.

Q:What happened to the ring after Isildur cut it from Sauron's hand?

[ April 07, 2002: Message edited by: Alcarinque ]

[Birdland]

The ring bounced down the mountainside and rolled into a lembas factory. There it disappeared into one of a vast batch of magically delicious Keel-Gilad Elven Cookies. Rather then waste the whole batch, the elves stamped the boxes "Find the Ring and win a prize!" and sent them throughout Middle Earth.

Sadly, this particular recipe was not a hit with the public, and the Ring languished for thousands of years in "infinite shelf-life" oblivion...

'til one day, a particular hobbitish creature name Smeagol, coming down from a 3-day bender and having a really bad case of the munchies, wandered into a Gladden Field convienence store and grabbed the first thing he saw off the shelf...and the rest is history.

-------------------------------------

Question: How did Saruman acquire Orthanc?

[ April 07, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Alcarinque]

He bought it on E-bay... he would have liked to buy something classier, like, you know... a castle in Trannsylvania, but...Orthanc was fine, and the only thing available for $300.00

Q: What does ISTARI mean?

[Nevtalathiel]

ISTARI is like starry, but when talking about personality, so Gandalf's personality is starry, meaning small, white and hot. When lots of istari get together, their meeting is known as a GALAXI.

What happened on Weathertop?

[TheBlackRider]

At WetherTop Frodo was just eatung dinner when a giant bug on a black ladybug came and tried to kill him saying something about some mispriced item on ebay......


My question: Where did Frodo get the ring and where di he have to take it?

[Nevtalathiel]

Bilbo got the ring in a cracker and seeing that it was evil gave it to the Sackville-Bagginses. Lobelia was planning to use it to take over the world, so Frodo was sent on a dangerous mission to recover the ring and assassinate Lobelia. when Lobelia found out what was happening, she gave the ring to Frodo who thought it wasn't worht anyhting and took it to the oxfam shop.

Where does Elrond live?

[Neferchoirwen]

Elrond lives in a virtual world dominated by men in black.

Why is Gandalf wearing a pointed hat and Sauron doesn't have one?

[Rimbaud]

Gandalf has a problem distinguishing between up and down. Therefore he has a hat that points upwards so that he is never confused. Saruman does not have this affliction.

Where did Bilbo get his name?

[Alcarinque]

Bilbo is the combination of William (Bill) and Bottom... those were his long dead brother and sister. His parents wanted to remember them and so they gave Bilbo the name...

Q:Who is the most faithful servant of Saruman?

[Rimbaud]

Bill Gates is clearly a close companion of Saruman, for reasons I will doubtless be sued for going into...

Why is Sauron so grumpy?

[Neferchoirwen]

Sauron is so grumpy because of hat envy!
He doesn't have that hat afflicion thngy that Gandalf has, and the only way he'd get a hat is to get the direction dissilisionment affliction, only he doesn't want to get it.

So he's frustrated. It's his problem.


Why do elves grow their hair long? And what happens if they cut it short?

[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Neferchoirwen ]

[Alcarinque]

Elves have long hair, because otherwise they would look ugly... (j/k)

Elves have long hair, because that's the source of their greatness in archery. The long hair makes them see more precisely, and if they cut their hair, they will end up blind, at least while it grows back. A short haired elf is usually short-sighted as well.

Q: What are the Nazgul?

[Nevtalathiel]

The Nazgul are members of a cult who dress all in black and are forbidden by their religion from walking anywhere. They wander round Middle Earth door to door asking if nayone would like to convert to their religion.

What is special about the inhabitants of Bree?

[TheBlackRider]

The people in Bree are special because they are all drunk. All they do is drink beer and throw apples at bad men. Some dont even rember there daughter's name there so drunk!!!


Who is Ganadalf and why dpes he have a pointy stick?

[Rimbaud]

Gandalf is actually an Avon salesperson. The 'staff' is merely an oversize Middle-Earth mobile phone. This explains his frequent trips to Hobbiton, bringing his wares...

Q: Why did the Balrog cross the road?

[Nevtalathiel]

In the version I heard, the balrog crossed the bridge of Khazad-Dum!

[Alcarinque]

Er..
Q: Why did the Balrog cross the road?

He crossed the road because he was in a non-smoking area, and he needed to light his cigarrette, but he was out of fire...

Q: Who is Tom Bombadill?

[ April 09, 2002: Message edited by: Alcarinque ]

[ April 09, 2002: Message edited by: Alcarinque ]

[TheBlackRider]

Tom Bobilldo is a maker of M-E hot dogs!!!! Bombildo is the next wave of hot dogs!!!!


Ummm this is tricky....

Who isnt(keyword) Treebeard?

[Nevfeniel]

Who isnt(keyword) Treebeard?

A big, tree-like giant thing.
What is Pippin's full name?

[KingCarlton]

Scotty Pippen smilies/eek.gif

Question : What goes on at Isengard ?

Know Peace
smilies/evil.gif

[Nevtalathiel]

Orc IVF! (see "far from the orc I love", not for those of a squeamish disposition)

What happened to the hobbits on the Barrowdowns?

[TheBlackRider]

At the Barrow-Downs the Hobbits saw all the LOTR action figures get prices cut down!!!! Then a rush of drunk fans wanted autographs.


What is the big deal about the Elven Rings?
Who bears them and for what purpose?

[Rimbaud]

The Elven Rings were a misspelling in an other wise respectable broadsheet Englsih newspaper. What was intended was the Eleven Rings and they were given to the members of the victorious England cricket team (I am aware of the oxymoron implicit thereof).

Is Eru by definition erudite?

[ April 10, 2002: Message edited by: Stephanos ]

[Nevtalathiel]

(Which newspaper Stephanos?)

No, Eru is really a music teacher and poor composer who knows nothing about anything, especially not music! His music was so bad that the ainur rebelled and sang Melkor's much better composition.

What happened when the hobbits returned to the shire after the war of the ring?

[ April 10, 2002: Message edited by: Nevtalathiel ]

[Rimbaud]

(Nev - The Independent shall remain nameless...doh.)

When the hobbits returned to the Shire, Frodo realised that he had left one of his favourite pieces of jewellery behind and so had to back-track somewhat.

Are the Black Riders 'brothers'?

[ April 10, 2002: Message edited by: Stephanos ]

[Nevtalathiel]

(Steph, [Do you mind me calling you Steph] Was it them who at the first Christmas had a correction; "The headline which read 'Three Wide Men, what Rich Gifts' should have read 'Three Wise Men, what Rich Gits")

The ringwraiths were brothers, they were the cousins of Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Bashful, Doc, Sneezy, Oin and Gloin. Their parents stole ent-draught to make their sons grow taller. Unfortantely, it also made them evil and invisible!

Who was Sam?

[Rimbaud]

(Nev - lmao! I think it probably was... Steph is perfectly acceptable.)

"Sam" was the unexpected entry in "The World's Shortest Poems That Feature Proper Names" for 1989. It came seventh. It is worth noting the controversy that year however. The winner was actually a poem by the little known Botswanian poet Eric van bon can ban Bottomsworthy with his entry "If I Give You a Tenner Will You Let Me Win?"

The poem contravened most of the rules of the competition yet was an overwhelming victor. The drama continues...

Q: If you took the wings of seven Balrogs and divided them by the number of Entwives, what colour is Legolas' hair?

[Nevtalathiel]

Do you mean african balrogs of asian balrogs? How old are the entwives and how many ents are they each married to? Does it matter (i.e. if one entwife is married to two ents, does it cout as two entwives?) How much hair does Legolas have and how long is it? Does thes question in any way constitute a test,the mark of which will affect the rest of my life? Is it an open book test? Can I have some time to revise?

Ok, I'm revising for GSCEs at the moment, so I'm getting kind of paranoid since my revision so far has consisted of visiting the Barrowdowns and watcvhing TV! Back to the point though, if the number of balrog wings is greater than the number of entwives, the colour of Legolas's ahir is equal to the sum of the number of surviving Istari and the smell of Sauron's feet. If however, the number of balrog wings is less than the number of entwives, Legolas's hair colour can be calculated using the number visions of Galadreil's mirror minus the age of Elrond. If the number of balrog wings equals the number of entwives, Legolas's hair could either be stripy or dotted, but the colour is impossible to determine.

*Phew*

Who is the ruler of the people of Rohan?

[AnnúnwenOfRivendell]

My daddy!


Where is Tom Bombadil from?

[Nevtalathiel]

Tom Bombadil was found in a cupboard by Frodo when he was clearing out Bag End after Bilbo left. It appears that Bilbo left an egg sandwich in the cupboard with his magical ring for a rather long time. The lifeforms that evolved inside this cupboard included entwives (which Frodo accidentally trod on) oliphaunts (which when released into the wild grew to enormous sizes because their food supply was no longer limited) and Tom Bombadil.

Who was the creator of the one ring?

[Rimbaud]

A very short-lived ring maker.

What is your favourite colour?

[Sam Gamgee]

The answer to the greatest question of all life and exsistance: 42
And that, I'm going to say, is my favourite colour.

[Sam Gamgee]

Otay, how old is Aragorn? (as a non-wrong answer, this kind of thing would surprise you)

[Manwe]

[boring scientist voice]Well, this question were brought up way back in the bigining when Eru was trying to make the incompetent Ainur making at least one singel sound that didn't gave him headaches. Then, that very moment I remember well, Aragorn sneak up behind Eru and said 'Boo!'. This didn't just get the efect that Eru had to change trouses, but also the famous word:'What the CENSUR are you doing your little, little ... little, Dunadein. I want you all to notice that that word was at first a insult, and it sounds like something you find under a rock with very many or no legs, yes? However Aragorn thought that Eru was very unfriendly and dissapeard eith 'pop!'. But the effect was also that all of the Ainur laught at Eru and Melkor made a not-so-nice song about the event, of course that was erased in the official version.

Later on Sauron made a ring that, if it were placed on the exactly rihgt place, at the exactly right time, would reveal the the answer. But Aragorn was able to fool many people, Gandlf, Elrond, Bilbo, Denethor, Galadriel and Gimli are only few of them.

But now, Manwe inc. (R), proudly presents the answer. The fact is that Aragorn, when he first stepped in to the univers, decided to be 2,54 +- 0,00033148 years. Which isn't a very good age for a king. No one should be able to see him in the eyes, yes, but not because the was frightned, but because they were laughting their heads of. He also signed the no-aging-contract, so he's still about 2,5 years.[/boring scientist voice]

And now we need YOUR help on the next mysterium: What is Lembas?

(did you know that Arwen is Aragorns grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-cousin, or something like that, it's not a joke)

[KingCarlton]

Lembas is a rare breed of mountain goat found high in the mountains of New Zealand, they were accidently discovered by the fellowship on their journey to Mordor. If you were to believe Legolas and Gimli, lembas are quite a delicacy.

---------------

Why did Sauron make 20 rings and then give 19 of them away?

Know Peace !
smilies/evil.gif

[Nevtalathiel]

Sauron was not a very good ring-maker. The first 19 rings were trial ones while he perfected his art. The first 3 were made of the wrong stuff, which burned away people's fingers when they put them one. The next 5 were slighty large, so he gave them away as necklaces. He learned his lesson after that and consequently made the next 2 far too small and had to give them to a couple of ants who happened to be passing by. The next one he acidentally trod on while it was hot, so it was a bit of a funny shape. By this time it was nearly Christmas, and being of a stingy disposition, Sauron decided to make presents instead of buying them. so, that year, his mum, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, 2 cousins, sister and wife all got cheap poor quality rings for Christmas. By now Sauron was tired of making rings, but still needed one for himself, so he just used the next one he made, despite the fact that it had the annoying habit of changing size!

Wat happened to Denethor 2?

[TheBlackRider]

Denethor 2 was blown up like Denethor 1. When the first robot dies they made another one that didnt work as well.


What is an elf?

[Lindolirian]

An elf is a short hairy creature that makes toys and feeds reindeer. other times it might make shoes for poor shoe makers and do other stuff...


yeah other that that they might kill Santa clause while they're at it....

What is an Oliphaut... really heh heh heh

[ April 11, 2002: Message edited by: Lindolirian ]

[TheBlackRider]

Well a you know that soup with the lstters in it? The letter o in letter soup if eaten by a pants bacomes a oliphants


What is a Istari

[Watcher in the Water]

An Istari is a horrible crawling insect that feeds of bad puns...

Who was Finduilas?

[KingCarlton]

Finduilas, the son of Oliver Twist and Mary Poppins was the inventor of the fifth wheel.
By this invention he made a fortune and decided to buy some real estate, which happened to be Hobbiton. He then proceeded to evict all the inhabitabts of this place and then build the largest golf course in ME.
He hasn't been heard of since he started playing golf there since last December.

******

Who is Elrond ?

Know Thus !

[Nevtalathiel]

Elrond is a little old man who lives at the top of a very big tower and controls the weather. No one quite knows how he got there, as there are no stairs and the tower if impossible to climb, but it is rumoured that he used the hot air spewing out of his mouth to fill a balloon which carried him up there.

Where is Minas Tirith?

[TheBlackRider]

Minas Tirith is locaed right by McDoandals on Main Street ME.


Who is Eru?

[Rimbaud]

Eru is the hitherto unexpected and unexplained 'Great Emu' of Middle-Earth. He was named for his piercing call, that wakes a thousand babies. Most of those babies cry on the train, whenever I catch one...

Are the Valar a hideous form of offspring of the American 'actor' Val Kilmer?

[pippin_took0]

Who is Val Kilmer?

[Birdland]

It's actually "Valkilmer", a mid-level Dúnedain. He was also known as "Val the Unlucky" for his unfortunate career choices, or "Valkilmer the Wanker" for his propensity for drinking too much ale and getting into drunken rows in Bree.

It is said that when Aragorn called for the Dúnedain to join him on the Paths of the Dead, he specifically stated "But don't tell Valkilmer. He's best left at home."

Question: Who was Malbeth the Seer, and what exactly did he see?

[Rimbaud]

Malbeth the Seer is actually a misspelling. The uncorrupted from of his name was Malbeth the Deer. He was a deer. Oh dear.

How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?

[ April 12, 2002: Message edited by: Stephanos ]

[Nevtalathiel]

Hobbits, standing at only about 4 feet tall, are incapable of changing light bulbs. Instead they must await the yearly visits of Gandalf, the all hailled ligth bulb changer, who will change their lightbulbs for them if they agree to go on a dangerous quest. If the quest involves the fate of the world, they even get thier own free ligthbulb to take home!

What languages were spoken by the people of ME?

[Rimbaud]

The people of YOU? Nev, it seems the therapy's not working! Your rampant schizophrenia has reached new levels. The only person who can read the languages of YOU is you, yourself. Now put down the oil and the frog and calm down.

What does JRRT stand for? smilies/wink.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/tongue.gif

[KingCarlton]

JACK RABBIT RUNIC TALESPINNER !

Who was Queen Beruthiel? smilies/eek.gif

[Sindalómiel]

She was the evil twin sister of Denethor and the reason that Minas Morgul was taken over by Sauron.

Why did Boromir want to take the Ring?

[Birdland]

It is a little known, and seamy, fact that Boromir was not actually the son of Denethor, but was the product of a one night stand between his mother, Finduilas, and Röac, the raven of the Lonely Mountains.

Now we all know that ravens like to collect shiny things, and Boromir was merely giving in to his "raven nature". He was going to keep the Ring with his collection of broken glass, tin foil, marbles and chewing gum wrappers that he kept back in Minas Tirith.

But ravens are also honest creatures, and will leave something in place of the shiny object they take. Boromir intended to justify the taking of the Ring by giving Frodo a bottle cap.

-----------------
Oooops, forgot a question.

Why was Denethor mad at Faramir?

[ April 14, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[The Half-Hobbit]

Denethor was mad becuae Faramir gets all the sexy chicks and all Denethor has is a lousy palantir.

Where is Frodo going?

[Alcarinque]

Frodo is going to the Super Bowl, to see if a certain ring works for making him invisible

Q: What is Sauron's favourite hobbie?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

Sauron's favorite hobby is knitting. He enjoy's making tapestrys of buunies and flowers to decorate Barad Dur.

Q: What is Mithril?

[ April 14, 2002: Message edited by: Anarya SilverBranch ]

[Sindalómiel]

Mithril is a type of seasoning Sam uses in his rabbit stews.

Why did the Fellowship go to Lothlorien?

[ April 15, 2002: Message edited by: Sindalómiel ]

[Nevtalathiel]

Smaug was Bilbo's childhood friend, they played together in the Shire until the sad day when Smaug's parents decided to mave to Dale. Smaug was so traumatised, he took to hording gold to save up for the air fare to go back to the Shire.

What did Sam and Frodo see in the mirror of Galadriel?

Oh, and from earlier, the balrog did not cross the road, it flew, with its wings, muahahah!! smilies/evil.gif

[Sindalómiel]

Sorry, changed my question when I realised the topic was about the FOTR movie...

[Nevtalathiel]

To get a lembas take-away!

Question as above

[Sindalómiel]

They saw the first McDonalds being built in the Shire, and lost the will to live.

Why did they send Boromir over the waterfall when he died?

[Nevtalathiel]

Well, actually, the chronology of the story is slightly wrong and Boromir was still alive when he went over the falls of the Rauros. Aragorn and Legolas wanted to start a water park and convinced Boromir ro be the first to try out the "Rauraos Rapids". Unfortuately, they were slightly more scary than Aragorn and Legolas expected and Boromir was killed.

What is special about Aragorn's sword?

[Sindalómiel]

Not only is it good for killing orcs and things, but it doubles as a handy-dandy letter opener for all his fanmail, saving him many a papercut.

Why did Elrond wear that tiara thing?

[Nevtalathiel]

Well, Elrond has yet to tell anyone, but he recently had a rather *cough* serious operation and is now known by those close to him as Elronda.

What did Isuldur do when he took Sauron's ring?

[Sindalómiel]

He balanced it on his nose, did the chicken dance and then spent the rest of his life in a padded room in Gondor's highest tower.

Where did Faramir take the Hobbits?

[Nevtalathiel]

Well, faramir was actually a misspelling of farmer, so farmer took the hobbits to his farm where he fed them to his pigs (yes you heard me right!)

Who was Arwen?

[Vinyamarien]

Arwen was the murderer of Glorfindel.

Where did Frodo and Sam go after leaving the fellowship?

[ April 15, 2002: Message edited by: Vinyamarien ]

[KingCarlton]

After leaving the Fellowship, Frodo and Sam arrived at Brunswick, in Germany. There they met up with some fellow midgets and formed a Pop band, naming themselves the "Flaming Shires" and have this hit song to their immense credit...

Seek for the Sword that was broken:
In Imladris it dwells;
There shall be counsels taken
Stronger than Morgul-spells.
There shall be shown a token
That Doom is near at hand,
For Isildur's Bane shall waken,
And the Halfling forth shall stand.

Halfling, Halfling, Baby !
Halfling, Halfling, Baby !
Halfling, Halfling, Baby !
Halfling, Halfling, Baby !


Sung to the tune of "Cherie Cherie Lady "
Which they plagarised off another group of midgets.

Having made quite a fortune from this venture, the two of them retired. But owing to their nature as adventurers they set off on another quest about a Lady of the Lamp, this time to places over the sea and were never heard of again to this hour.


**********

What does Saruman need the Uruk Hai for?

[Nevtalathiel]

They are the only people who have a strong enough will to give him pedacures and spongebaths! smilies/eek.gif

What happened to Eowyn?

[Birdland]

"What happened to Éowyn?" indeed! This is the question that Theoden King would ask constantly as she galloped happily through the fields of Rohan, bringing home orc heads, practicing her swordsmanship on the local peasants, and learning to spit accurately.

"She takes after Éomund, dear", said his long-suffering wife, Elfhild.

Sadly, Éowyn came to a poor end because of her "un-maidenly" ways. Once the novelty of being married to a shield-maiden wore off, Faramir soon tired of the the headstrong Éowyn and shipped her off to the Sisters of Varda convent, kicking and screaming.

She didn't last long there.

-------

Whatever DID happen to that Oliphaunt?

[ April 15, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Nevtalathiel]

It was seen in someone's garden and lured into a very large cage using peanuts. It was then exhibited for a while before it escaped and followed a crowd of entwives off into the sunset.

What was Treebeard's reaction when he saw Merry and Pippin?

[The Half-Hobbit]

When Treebeard first saw Merry and Pippin, he was drunk from too much Ent-draught, and he thought Merry was a beautiful Entwife. Driven mad by the thought of such a sexy female Ent with Pippin (whom Treebeard thought was a very strange type orc/shrew crossbreed devised by saruman), he challenged Pippin to a duel, the winner of which would have Merry's hand in marriage. Of course Pippin agreed to this, because he is a fool of a Took. However, in a surprising turn of events, Grishnack (spelling?) arrived, miraculously alive despite having been killed by riders of Rohan not too many pages ago, and defeated both Pippin and Treebeard. He and Merry now have a lovely home by the Dead marshes where they will soon be having their third anniversary party.

Who or what is Grima the Wormtongue?

[Nevtalathiel]

Grima Wormtongue is a horrible disease where the victim's tongue becomes long, thin, pink and generally wormy until it detaches itself and burrows into the ground. It is only marginally better then having tapeworm.

What do orcs do?

[Nari]

Every one knows that orcs used to be dancers at the local Chippendale's in Rohan. That is why they look like Chippenmunks. They got fired though, after crying too much about tips. They then went on to aid Saruman in his carwash service, as noted in The Two Towers.

[Nari]

My next question (which i forgot to add) is: What happened to Gimli when he was going into Lothlorien Forest? (did somebody already ask this one?)

[Anarya SilverBranch]

A:He was attacked by a rabid oliphaunt that happened to be Galadriel's pet smilies/eek.gif
(No seriously!)

Q:Who did Sam dance with at Bilbo's party?

[Nuranar]

The Mouth of Sauron...

What was Eregion?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

The local gas station in Hobbiton.

Who was Celeborn?

[Manwe]

He was Sauron's personal window-cleaner. Much windows in Barad-dûr I'll tell ya.

And now for a bit of music, this is Tolkien, right? What song did Frodo sing on 'The prancing pony'? (I want the text)

[Nari]

Frodo wooed the crowds at the Prancing Pony with his rendition of "I've got a Golden Ticket."

"Cause I've got a golden ticket,
I've got a golden ticket,
I've got a golden chance to make my way.
And with a golden ticket its
A golden day...."

[Nari]

next question is: What did Gandalf say to the balrog?

[Nevfeniel]

"Got a light?"
I know, this response is totally overrated, but it was the best I could come up with.
Who ended up with the ring at the end of the story?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

George Bush (The second that is)

What is Frodo's last name?

[Birdland]

Hobbit children can be cruel, particularly when they are in their "tweens". Frodo was born a Baggins, but this of course quickly led to such nicknames as "Baggy Pants" and "*** End", followed by excruciating wedgies. Gym class was hell.

So Frodo decided to take the last name of an obscure branch of his family tree and declared he was not, in fact, a Baggins, but an Underhill. "Underwear" and "Underarm" quickly followed.

By the time Frodo had come of age the subject of a last name had become too painful to deal with, and he decided that from now on he would be know only as Frodo. (That's Mr. Frodo to you!) After the events of the War of the Rings, he was known affectionatly as THE Frodo.

His true last name eventually became lost in the mists of time. Which suited him just fine.

--------------------------

When Bilbo left the Shire for the first time, he forgot his handkerchief. Why was this such an important item to him?

[ April 16, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[KingCarlton]

The hanky was a gift from Sauron, it was small and dainty, embroidered with beautiful little Nazgul riders on ponies wearing pink frilly tutus prancing about, this was a very precious and sentimental piece for him for wherever he went and displayed this item he was received with warm smiles and hugs for he bore the friendship and protection of Sauron, grand mother of the holy Nazgul brotherhood, bearers of good fatih and fortune.
Without this hanky life on the road would be hell for poor Bilbo, he was open to attack from all kinds of pestilences and decay such as the dreaded Istari without it.

How fared Gandalf's visit to Saruman at Isengard?

[ April 17, 2002: Message edited by: KingCarlton ]

[KingCarlton]

Hey Birdie..this quiz is about the movie, isn't it?

[Birdland]

Eh, that went by the wayside two pages ago.

Let's have a HoME question!

Ay! An HoME question! smilies/evil.gif

[Anarya SilverBranch]

How fared Gandalf's visit to Saruman at Isengard?

They ended up having a tea party with all their dollies, using the palantri as a chair for Barbie. auuhhhhh, how cute! smilies/biggrin.gif

What was the name of the city that King Theoden lived in?

[Nevtalathiel]

Theoden lived in Washington DC, where he worked as an intern in the Whitehouse and was known to mast people as Monica Lewinskey.

What did Gandalf wear?

[Nuranar]

A holocaust cloak, stolen from Miracle Max.

Who was Faramir?

[Nevfeniel]

Faramir is the real Slim Shady.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why did Sam hate Gollum so much? (And I don't want an answer like "Sam thought that Gollum was hitting on Frodo" or anything like that.)

[Birdland]

Sam subconciously hated Gollum because Gollum reminded him of his father, the "Gaffer".

I mean, let's look at this. Both Gollum and Gaffer were masters at whining and passive aggressiveness. Both were prone to heaping verbal abuse on Sam., "Nasty" may have sounded very like "Ninnyhammer" to poor Sam.

This abuse seemed to be offered particularly whenever Sam was trying to be nice or do something for Gollum. This is a favorite tactic of the aging parent against a child acting as caregiver.

Let's face it. Hamfast was probably no day at the beach, parentally speaking. Consider that Sam's two older brother's got out of the house as soon as they could, leaving Sam holding the "Bag End", so to speak. Sam even suggests in FOTR that he would have preferred to go into the rope making business, but probably became a gardener out of a misplaced sense of guilt.

So Sam's rage at Gollum was actually his rage at his own father, redirected at a more socially acceptable target. When Sam drew his sword and threatened to kill Gollum, it was the face of the Gaffer that he was seeing. And it wasn't just pity that stayed his hand, but a deeply buried fear that he would be commiting patricide.

(Hmmmmm, I wonder if this is actually a "wrong" answer? smilies/evil.gif )

-----------------------------------

When Sam released Bill at the Gates of Moria, did he go straight home to Bree?

[Susan Delgado]

No. he got lost on the way and ended up in Las Vegas where he became a can-can dancer and watched the progress of the Quest through one of the lost Palantir, which had been found by the casino owner. Along about the time the quest was over, Bill decided he just wasn't making enough money as a can-can dancer and left Las Vegas. He was able to backtrack to where he got lost and found his way back to Bree just in time to meet the returning Hobbits.
----------------------
What happened when the Fellowship tried to cross Caradhras?

[ April 17, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[KingCarlton]

They couldn't, for it was Hobbit season in them those hills, everyone there was hunting hobbits led by Elmer, not of the elves.
They had to turn back in haste.

What's the big deal about Mordor?

[Sindalómiel]

Mordor was a huge theme park, which the hobbits were always nagging the rest of the Fellowship to take them to. The poor Fellowship had to put up with months of "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?". No wonder Gandalf stayed behind to battle the Balrog, he just wanted to escape the nagging.

Why do the elves in Lothlorien live in the trees?

[Susan Delgado]

Because if they walk on the ground, they'll get their wittle feet dirty, and this way they can drop things on their unsuspecting guests.
-----------------------
Why is Shadowfax important?

[ April 19, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[Anarya SilverBranch]

Because Shadowfax is really a sun block used by Gandalf to keep his dainty pale white skin from getting burnt. They just got mixed up because, well I don't know why because I can't think of anything clever right now so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to slink out of the room embarresed.

Q:Who were the riders of Rohan?

[Susan Delgado]

The Riders of Rohan are a circus attraction. They ride around in huge circles playing leapfrog on horsback (that is, with the horses leaping, not the riders) Every once in a while one of the riders gets kicked in passing and they have to stop the whole, entire, show while they find a replacement. It's really a huge inconvenience, but there's no way to prevent it from happening. Not that they can come up with at least...I could probably think of a way.
-----------------------
What did the Hobbits find when they returned to the Shire?

[ April 19, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[KingCarlton]

They found it transformed into a golf course and hunting ground by Finduilas and there were no hobbits in sight due to Elmer(who was not of the elves), the hobbit slaying Fudd's declaration of Hobbit Season on all of Middle Earth.

====

What was Boromir's riddle?

[Susan Delgado]

What's green and if it falls out of a tree will kill you?
-----------------------
What's so special about Aragorn's sword, Narsil?

Yes! I am a Wight! smilies/eek.gif

[KingCarlton]

Narsil was made of honey and sugar. When ever Strider felt tired or was wounded he would give it a few long licks of his tongue and get instantly energized.

Are There Any Balrogs Left in Middle-earth?

Congratulations on your Wightness, Susan. BOO !

[Sindalómiel]

Yes, but they all got sick of their fiery, evil behaviour and have been seeing a psychiatrist for the last age.

What gifts did Galadriel give the Fellowship?

[Susan Delgado]

She gave them all tickets to see her and the rest the the Lorien Players in their debut performance of "Oklahoma"
------------------------
Why did Frodo want to leave the Fellowship and hie off into the wilderness alone?

[Nevtalathiel]

Frodo, being a more gebnteel hobbit was not used to the lack of hygene pracised by the "real men" Aragorn and Boromir. When he was in Lothlorien, he very nearly dived into the mirror of Galadriel to have a bath and by the time they reached Amon Hen, he was so sick of the smell of feet that he couldn't stay any longer!

What happened at the Council of Elrond?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

Elrond and Aragorn ended up in a fist fight, with the hobbits working bets on who was going to win. Winning Victor: Elrond

Q: Who was the Watcher at the Gate

[Susan Delgado]

The Watcher at the Gate always insisted on asking three questions before allowing anyone to go across his bridge. Oh, wait...wrong fantasy.
The Watcher at the Gate was really Frodo's other uncle, Herman (the black sheep of the Baggins family). One day, Uncle Herman decided he'd had it with The Shire and went off to see what he could see in the wide world. He ended up as a double agent between Sauron and the Men of Dale, but he ended up being a really poor spy, and everybosy found out what he was doing fairly quickly. Sauron's minions and the King of Dale's council got together and discussed the whole Herman-double-agent thing and decided he was just too incompetant to bother killing, so they agreed to send him off to a remote post in the middle of nowhere (sort of like a soldier being assigned to Alaska) where he wouldn't be able to do any harm.
------------------------------
How did Bilbo get in to *ahem* observe Smaug, and what did he take out to prove that he had done so?

[ April 19, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[ElanorGamgee]

Bilbo took the elevator just like everyone else. Reaching the floor of Smaug's department store, he browsed a while and bought a nice foot hair trimmer (half price!) to prove he'd been there.

----------

Why do hobbits give away presents on their own birthdays?

[TheBlackRider]

Why else would ny one give presents on their birthday? To get more presents oin return!!! The more you give the more you get or something like that?


The rulin *Item* what was it and how was it used?
(no it wasnt a dounot!!!)

[KingCarlton]

It was a piece of junk that Elrond kept in his treasure room and was used to fool people into thinking that Rivendell was a prosperous place to live in.

What made Arwen rescue Frodo from the Nazgul at the ford?

[Nevfeniel]

Little does Frodo know, but Arwen is actually a robot who was designed to keep him alive at all costs. (sorry, my brother is watching T2:JD) smilies/cool.gif
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
What does Galadriel do in her spare time?

[ April 20, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Belin]

Posts to the Barrow-downs, of course!
-------------------------------------------
Why do the Orcs kidnap Merry and Pippin?

--Belin Ibaimendi

[Anarya SilverBranch]

The orcs capture Merrry and Pippin because they wanted Billy Boyd and Dominic Mohanagan's autographs!! (Personally though, I'd go for Legolas!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Who was Aragorn the son of?

[Birdland]

Well, that really depends on who you talk to, and how mad they were at Aragorn at the moment.

"Son of a Nazgûl!" - Lugdush

"Son of an Elf-Lover!" - Gimli, at the end of a bad day.

"Son of a Hobbit!" - Barliman, when Strider skips out on the tab.

"Son of a Breelander!" - After Strider leads the hobbits through the Midgewater Marshes

"Son of a dead mother!" - Birdland (see her last thread.)

Of course, all of this just rolls of Aragorn's back. He doesn't need to be loved, just respected.

[Susan Delgado]

Birdland didn't ask a new one, so I will.

What does Bilbo do when he gets lost in the goblin cave?

[Belegfanaion]

When Bilbo gets lost in the Goblin Cave, he sits down and does what any respectable hobbit would do in that situation - he began to bawl, hoping that Gandalf would come and find him. Too bad for him that a frogman in a black wetsuit finds him first and tells him he is from the Marines. He gave Bilbo a new secret government technology permitting him to become invisible in the form of a ring. Then he gets taken aboard the Marines' helicopter to the awaiting President Reagan who commends him for being so respectable and bawling at the appropriate time so that JRR could get his fairy tale a new twist. smilies/tongue.gif

[Belegfanaion]

How does Gandalf escape Saruman and reach Rivendell?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

Being a good english man, the UK government sends in their best to save Gandalf. Bond, James Bond. *dah dah dah*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What kind of race is Gandalf?

[Belegfanaion]

Gandalf is of the race of Crotchety Old Folks, more commonly known as the Geezers. They are characterized by long canes which look like walking sticks, long beards for stability in walking, and long cloaks which later became the basis for Scottish kilts and ladies dresses, combined with their uncanny ability to continuously infuriate all other races of M-E by never going more than 35 MPH in a 50 MPH zone!

Who is Sauron, and why did he become evil?

[Susan Delgado]

Sauron is a little boy who got really cranky when his mommy took away his teddy bear and then left him with a babysitter. He really likes his teddy bear, so when he got wind of it living with someone else who didn't do anything with it but leave it in a corner all the time, He got really mad and decided that he just had to get it back, no matter what!
------------------------------
What did Bilbo give to Frodo in Rivendell?

their uncanny ability to continuously infuriate all other races of M-E by never going more than 35 MPH in a 50 MPH zone!
I've actually experienced this, except the elderly chap was going 20 in a 35 smilies/smile.gif

[ April 20, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[Belegfanaion]

In Rivendell, Bilbo gave Frodo two of his most treasured possessions:

1. A teddy bear to be "a hug in dark places when you're scared and need your mommy,"

and 2. 50 boxes of Cracker Jacks each with "Free Ring with Elvin Writing" stamped on the side to give out to the Nazgul so EVERYBODY would FINALLY be happy!

[Belegfanaion]

Who is Nob?

[Susan Delgado]

Nob is that thing at the bottom of a staircase that you grab when you're going down at 50 miles an hour so you don't land on your face.
---------------
What does Gaffer Gamgee do with his spare time?

[ElanorGamgee]

The Gaffer writes books on parenting advice, including the hits Raising Ninnyhammers for Dummies and 101 Ways to Tell Your Good-for-Nothing Son You Care.

-----

How did Goldberry meet Tom Bombadil?

[Nuranar]

At Ring Dance!

No, Goldberry met Tom in darkest Africa. She was visiting her granduncle, the spirit of the Nile River, and rescued Tom when he was wrestling a crocodile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If ale doesn't come in pints in the Shire, was does it come in?

[KingCarlton]

Ale comes in buckets in the shire, down from the skies as blessings from the Lord of the Tipsy Dances. It's an annual event taking place every day of the year at midnight.


Who the heck were the Sackville-Baggins?

[Mr. Frodo]

Who were the Sackville Baggins?
Sackville Baggins was the guy who told Saruman to send screaming fangirls to get the hobbits instead of Uruk hai, because teenage girls can smell hot guys from 20 miles away.
(Yeah, my answer was kinda stupid, I know)
Why did the Black Riders want the Ring?

[ElanorGamgee]

The poor Black Riders had gone about in nothing but dark robes for centuries and longed for some jewlery to brighten their look.

---

What was Ted Sandyman's problem?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Poor Ted Sandyman was really just a misunderstood young hobbit who's family was in dire need of money and was forever being bullied by mean ol' Sam who always beat him up and stole his lunch money.

Why did Eowyn and Merry kill the Witch-King?

[Belegfanaion]

Eowyn and Merry killed the Witch-King beacause he stole their Ale boxes (like juice boxes, but with ale) and drank them all for himself - and of course everyone knows that Merry don't take NO crap from anybody stealing his ale boxes!

What shows up on the One Ring when Gandalf puts it in the fire?

[KingCarlton]

Bake for 20 minutes, serve hot.

-----

What is The White Council?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

The White Council is the group of Istari (that is, fashion models) who decide what clothing, jewelry, and hair styles are *in* this age. It was the former head of the Council, Saruman, who suggested the extremely tacky gold rings to the Black Riders. This horrible choice (it *so* did not go with their outfits) led him to be kicked from the council. Gandalf is now head of the council.

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

The White Council is the group of Istari (fashion models) who decide what clothing, jewelry, and hair styles are *in* this age. It was the former head of the Council, Saruman, who suggested the extremely tacky gold rings to the Black Riders. This mistake (it *so* did not go with their outfits) led him to be kicked from the council. Gandalf is now head of the Council.

[Nevtalathiel]

Nob is that thing at the bottom of a staircase that you grab when you're going down at 50 miles an hour so you don't land on your face.

Or hurt something else if you're male smilies/rolleyes.gif

Ok,we need a question, what is a palantir and what does it do?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Duh, don't you get it?!? The Palantir is simply a *very* advanced DVD player with 3-D imaging that makes you feel like you're in the movie!

Q:Who does Sam marry?

[Susan Delgado]

Sam ran away and eloped with Eowyn after she finally realized that A) Faramir was just too into his work to pay enough attention to her, and B) Aragorn was NOT going to leave Arwen, as she (Eowyn) had originally hoped he would. They had two children: Syn and Eosia. Rosie was a bit put out, though.
--------------------------------------
What happened after Merry and Pippen were kidnapped by the Orcs?

[KingCarlton]

The Orcs didn’t realize that the two hobbits had sneaked along with their party, which the hobbits thought was going to the wonderful theme park, Mordor..…but they were much dismayed to find that the orcs were heading for Isengard, the famous temple to the Valar(a group of rock musicians).
When finally discovered by the Orcs, the hobbits were treated to a feast fit for kings but were tricked into converting into Jehovah’s witlesses…er..witnesses.


What was the Ents' Marching Song?

[Birdland]

What was the Ents' Marching Song?
Ha! I bet you thought I was going to say "The Ents Go Marching", didn't you? Well, that's just too obvious, too corny...and...and...

Arrrghhh! I have the "Ants Go Marching" Song stuck in my head now! Help! Get it out! Get it out!

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

To help our friend with the song stuck in his head, I'll ask a question:

How many people were there in the Fellowship? Bonus points for describing them all!

[Susan Delgado]

Frodo, who was was conned into taking Bilbo's teddy bear and taking it to Mordor by Gandalf's tales of the wonders of the South of Middle Earth and the promise of vast riches.

Sam, a Capt Kirk like person who's always looking for adventure and is always interested in "cruising for Hobbit lasses", but who became tired of Hobbit lasses and decided to go for something different. Gandalf told him about Frodo's journey and about all the "hot chicks" in Gondor and Sam decided Frodo's quest was just the thing.

Merry, an otherwise respectible Hobbit who only agreed to come along because he wanted to escape his creditors.
Pippen, one of those creditors who managed to latch on to Merry just before he escaped and was constantly badgering him about his financial situation.

Aragorn, a power-hungry man who desires dictatorship but just can't find it in the wilderness of Eriador. So, after speaking with Gandalf, he decided Gondor was the place for him.

Boromir is another man whose father became so annoyed by his sons' constant bickering that he would latch onto just about any pretext to send one or both of them away. He Sent Boromir to Imladris, which is about as far as he could think of, and told him some story about the elves and Faramir's dreaming so he wouldn't guess he was really being sent away, and that Denethor was really hoping he would never come back. And, look! He didn't!

Legolas and Gimli are long lost twin brothers- the undesired offspring of a tryst between a trolling elf maiden and a somewhat confused dwarf. Since one resembled an elf and the other a dwarf, each was left with his corresponding race to be raised in respect. They finally found each other after countless years of searching, and, despite their very different backgrounds, they find that they really have a lot in common. They don't know what ever became of their parents, but can only assume the embarrasment of what happened was too much for them, which is why they did what they did.

and, Gandalf. Gandalf is a prestidigitator extraordinaire and a con man as well. He arranged for all the members of the Fellowship to go on this little quest for his own reasons, though no one knows what those reasons are. He not only told Frodo, Sam, and Aragorn about the richness of Gondor, he also ruined Merry's credit and told Pippen where he could meet them, and who do you think told Legolas and Gimli they weren't what they seemed to be? The only person he had nothing to do with was Boromir, but he managed to get rid of him fairly quickly.
------------------------- whew!
What special item did Boromir carry out of Gondor and on his journey?

[The Half-Hobbit]

Despite his assertion at the Council of Elrond that "Gondor needs no king!" Boromir obviously felt differently than he led the others to believe. He always carried with him a ceramic bust of Elvis, and wept like a child if it was taken from his sight.
He could be heard singing Elvis songs sometimes..."You ain't nothin' but a Hobbit, Eatin' all the time" and so on. Quite touching, really, how devoted he was to his King.

What was the name of Aragorn's love, and what does the name mean?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

The name of Aragorn's love is Pamela Anderson
and how am I supposed to know what Pamela means!

[Nevtalathiel]

Is that the next question, what does Pamela mean?

Or is this the next question?

Or this?

Ok, the next question is...How were Arwen and Elrond related?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Arwen and Elrond were not related at all. Elrond was mayor of Rivendell, and as a part of his "clean up our streets" campaign, took in a hapless down-on-her-luck elven maiden named Arwen, whom he grew to love. But Arwen jilted the handsome Elrond to marry Aragorn, who considered himself Elvis incarnate. Ungrateful wench.

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Hey wait! forgot question!
Who is Tom Bombadil? details, my friends!

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

looking back, 'Pamela' means 'All-honey'. I doubt that's the answer you're were looking for... now someone answer my question!
Please?

[Birdland]

Tom Bombadil is a horrid, shrunken, mishapen wretch who lurks in the Old Forest, after being driven out of the Shire for wearing footwear and singing off-key.

Hobbit mothers would frighten their children into good behavior by telling them to "behave, or ol' Bombadil will get ye!"

If anything goes wrong in the Farthings, it is blamed on Tom Bombadil. He is known to lead strangers into Barrow-Wight mounds and to feed them to trees.

He's Evil, I tells ye...E-VILLLLL!!!!

What part did the little fox in the woods play in FoTR? Was he evil, too?

[ April 24, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[KingCarlton]

fOX ? wHAT fOX..was there a fox...in Fotr
Fox on the run..
Fox On The Run?

Birdie - go ' Hurrah Hurrah !

Aosama(bl) - you multi posting junkie, you can always edit your posts for adding wht you leave out the first time....and spare us some space and bandwidth.

Susan - You're one of the best.

Question : Why did Sauron create the One Ring and What Were Its Powers?

[Sindalómiel]

Sauron originally specialised in making tiaras, but eventually got sick of headwear and decided to move on to rings. The One Ring was his first, and only, experiment in ring-making before he changed his mind again and starting creating necklaces.

The Ring's powers include giving the wearer X-ray vision, and the ability to shapeshift.


Why is it so important that Aragorn is Isildur's heir?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

It isn't. Aragorn just calls himself that all the time to make sure that everyone knows he had cool ancestors. He thought that if he told them enough, people would think he was cool too and they would let him be king.

What species was Gollum?

[Nevtalathiel]

Gollum was a distant relative of the "Fox on the Run", although he has as much claim to say he is Isildur's heir as Aragorn does, after a drunken night out on Isildur's part. smilies/evil.gif Gollum doesn't mention this however, as Aragorn promised that if he didn't, Gollum could be President of Gondor when Aragorn became king.

What is the food the elves are famous for?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn-on-the-cob, and apple pie.

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Who killed Boromir?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Well, as the story goes, he and Aragorn got into a bit of a fight about who really should rule Gondor... they started waving their swords around, and y'know, just like their mommys had warned them, Boromir got hurt. But Aragorn never mentioned this to anyone, as it would make him look bad in his campaign to be king.

What habit are hobbits famous for?

[ElanorGamgee]

They are famous for both their clumsiness and their love of rogain. All hobbits are born bald, and they used rogain by the bulk load to maintain their heads of curly hair. However, their clumsiness causes them to always spill rogain onto their feet while applying it to their heads, resulting in the hairly feet they are well known for.

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What possessed Pippin to drop a stone down the well in Moria?

[ April 24, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[Birdland]

Pippin was a stooly, a sell-out, a nefarious double-agent of the worst kind. "Accident", my eye! He was signaling the orcs after waiting days for them to clue into the fact that the Fellowship was stumbling around Moria, ripe for the picking.

Pippin knew that he was risking being exposed for the black-hearted traitor he was, if he dropped that stone down the well, but he had to do SOMETHING, or the Fellowship would get away. Fortunately, he played his role of the lovable bumbler so well that no one suspected his true motives.

Don't believe me? Saying "Oh no, not our Pippin!"? Well, how else can you explain that episode with the Palantir? Saruman actually threw the deadly orb to Pippin, so he could contact his Fearless Leader and clue him in to what was going on. Agent Pippin pulled that one off, too.

Oh, BTW: The mysterious figure on the grassy knoll in Dallas? That was Pippin.

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What effect did the Ent Draught have on Merry?

[ April 25, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Ent draught did what it did to all Hobbits: made his foot-fur fall out. Poor Merry returned to the Shire in disgrace, and after many sessions with a psychiatrist about self-esteem problems, he finally worked up the courage to ask his friend's sister, Estella Bolger, to marry him. A sad but true story with a sappy happy ending... coming soon on the made-for-t.v. movie channel!

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Ent draught did what it did to all Hobbits: made his foot-fur fall out. Poor Merry returned to the Shire in disgrace, and after many sessions with a psychiatrist about self-esteem problems, he finally worked up the courage to ask his friend's sister, Estella Bolger, to marry him. A sad but true story with a sappy happy ending... coming soon on the made-for-t.v. movie channel!
next question: where is Valinor?

[KingCarlton]

Valinor is a fancy name given to that itch which is always so hard to reach.

Question : What is a Sheildmaiden's purpose in life?

Optional question : Why do these numbskulls
double post?

[ April 25, 2002: Message edited by: KingCarlton ]

[Susan Delgado]

A shieldmaiden's purpose is to run around looking really big and scary (and "dealing with" any random Witchkings she happens to stumble across) so she can impress all the poor lost Vikings wandering around Middle Earth and maybe find herself a husband. They like their women tough, right?
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Speaking of which, what was that Witchking doing wandering in the vicinity of one too many shieldmaidens? By which I mean, who was he, what was he doing at Minas Tirith,and what did he do when he met Eowyn?

Oh, and regarding question 2: I assume they do that to pad the post count. Annoying, yes, and not entirely "honest", if you know what I mean, but there's not much we can do about it, unfortunately.

Ah, thanks, KC. That was a really nice thing to say. smilies/smile.gif

[ April 25, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[KingCarlton]

The witch king, a farmer of repute for his famed pipeweed plantations, was minding his own business. Which happened to be harvesting his yearly crop of thistles and greenleaves, when he was suddenly ambushed by Eowyn, a very buff battle crazed shieldmaiden.. As they fell to the floor and lay on one another, their eyes met and each fell in love with the other.
According to the accounts of One Meriadoc Brandybuck, they were last seen heading for the caves of Moria, hand in hand.

Question : Why has Aragorn so many names, what does each mean?

Observation : The lure of chilling titles is indeed too great to resist for some of the weak willed.

[Nevtalathiel]

Aragorn has lots of names:
Fatty
Sword-breaker
Oi you stealing the crown!
and some which I couldn't write down here! Though no one calls him any of these to his name. the meaning of these names is basically that no one really likes him, though they're all so scared they'l make him cry that no one tells him. fortunately, Aragorn's hearing is not very good and he's never noyiced all the people making faces at him or throwing things!

What did the members of the Fellowhip do after the war of the ring?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

When Aragorn got married, he gave it to Arwen on his wedding.
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Who is sauron's best friend in he Shire

[Nevfeniel]

Optional question : Why do these numbskulls
double post?
Sometimes it's an accident.

Who is sauron's best friend in he Shire?
Sauron's best friend is Pippin!
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What happened to Sam after he returned to the Shire?

[ April 25, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Belegfanaion]

When Sam returned to the Shire, the very first thing he did was take up parasailing because, "As my ol' Gaffer used to say to me: 'Life t'a'int worth livin' till ya learn three things. One, dedication to yer ring-bearing, hairy-footed Baggins friends; two, make a LONG journeny to a really big, boiling volcano and almost get killed 60 gajillion times along the way; and three, take up the grand sport of parasailing!'" Eventually though, about seventeen years later, he and Lobelia S-B FINALLY settled down (like I always knew would happen - I mean, what's up with the whole Frodo-and-Sam-are-gay thing???) and they had fourteen children. Names: "Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Thorin....." etc.

What does Frodo find in Lobelia's umbrella when he searches it?

smilies/wink.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/cool.gif

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

The teddy bear Bilbo gave him in Rivendell. Frodo is very upset, and claimed "Mr. Hugs" was traumatized by the ugliness and darkness inside Lobelia's umbrella, and demanded that she pay for his therapy bills. Lobelia, of course, complied, seeing as how Frodo was her favourite nephew.

What is cram?

[Birdland]

Cram is a well-guarded secret in the Shire, being the magical ointment that Hobbits applied liberally to their feet. It toughened and waterproofed the soles, so that they never had to wear shoes.

The elves bought the recipe for cram from the Sandyman family long ago, and immediately locked it away for all eternity, since the Elves' entire economy is based around the making and selling of footwear throughout Middle Earth. (See the fairy tale "The Shoemaker and the Elves" for more info.)

Unfortunately, the recipe for cram has been lost forever, which means we are condemned to wearing overpriced Nikes throughout the 7th Age.

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What did Elrond do to Sam when he found he attended the secret Council uninvited?

[Sindalómiel]

He forced him to sit in a dark room and watch constant reruns of Barney the Dinosaur until Sam repented or went insane, whichever happened first.

Why do Hobbits like to eat so much?

[KingCarlton]

Because they have no other proof to validate their existence.

Question : What's the real reason for Gollum's part in the story?

Sometimes it's an accident.

Not if it is repeated thrice on the same page. Besides there is always the option to delete the mistakes.

[ April 26, 2002: Message edited by: KingCarlton ]

[Birdland]

Gollum's part of the story was to throttle nasty little posters who start fights over bandwidth.

"Nasssssty posterssssss...yessssss...upset the pressciousss Board, they do...yessssss".

Why did Merry say to Theoden, "As a father you will be to me."?

[KingCarlton]

Merry Brandybuck was a simple soul and he put too much stock in the gossips of the Took women who were quite jealous of the Bucks provenance, and spread malicious rumours about his mother. Merry was trying to find out the truth for himself though after much persuasion of one Bilbo Baggins.

What manner of relationship did Uglúk and Grishnákh share?


*sets a trap for the rare
Ne smilies/eek.gif rBr smilies/eek.gifer bird.
smilies/eek.gif

[Susan Delgado]

They're just two guys who can't agree on who gets to dress-up their new Hobbits first.
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By what method did Gandalf discover that it was the One Ring in question?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

He mailed it to Sauron and asked him to send it back if it was the One Ring.
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Why did Sam leave his master in Shelob's Lair?

[ElanorGamgee]

Well, Sam knew all along that Frodo was only drugged, not dead. He wanted to escape from his cruel master, who had forced him on the mission against his will and beat him daily, before he could wake up.

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How did Pippin and Merry escape from the orc camp?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

They pretended they were magicians and put on a 'magic show' for the Orcs. They then 'disappeared' before the Orcs could figure out what had happened. Orcs aren't too bright.

Why did Bard the Bowman kill Smaug?
(sorry about doble posting. It was an accident, and I know better now) smilies/smile.gif

[ April 27, 2002: Message edited by: Aosama, the Wandering Star ]

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Bard the Bowman kill Smog because smog is bad for the enviorment.
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How did Merry get to Gondor from Rohan when Theoden wouldn't let him go?

[Nevfeniel]

Gandalf gave him a ride. smilies/smile.gif
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Did Frodo have any children? If so, how many?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Frodo had a lot of children, sauron was his eldest son. The Sauron who forged the ring was Frodo's grandfather. smilies/evil.gif
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Did gandalf ever get married?

[ April 28, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Sindalómiel]

Yes. Once Arwen decided that marriage to a Gondorian king wasn't all it was cracked up to be, she divorced Aragorn and moved to Moria to be with Gandalf.

How did Glorfindel help the Fellowship?

[ElanorGamgee]

Glorfindel was the excellent Elvish chef of Rivendell. He served the Fellowship lembas like no one had even tasted before. Unfortunately, Arwen got jealous of him and slipped a bit of arsenic in his wine. He survived but was never quite the same, as he developed a fear of wine that prevented him from cooking up to his superb standards. He resigned in shame. Arwen then took his place, but could never quite duplicate the lembas that the citizens of Rivendell had come to love so.

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What is a burrahobbit and what has it got to do with anyone's pockets?

[ April 28, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

A buurahobbit is a cross between a burro and a hobbit, and it eats people's pockets.
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Who killed Boromir?

[Susan Delgado]

Boromir killed himself when he learned that the Fellowship had not been formed for the express purpose of going to a mall and buying him (Boromir) lots and lots of shoes. At the prospect of inadvertantly commiting the fashion "don't" of having only one pair of clunky old boots to go with every outfit he owned, he just couldn't take it anymore.
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Where did Bilbo and the Dwarves go and what was their purpose in going?

[Cimmerian]

Their purpose was to find Saruman, but somewhere along the way....the lost their tracks and got split up.
Bilbo dissapeared, and half of the dwarves went to Waters Deep and the other half of the dwarves went along and found Snow White.
Snow Whyte, Saruman ...what's the difference waw their observation.


Who is Farmer mAggots wife and what does she do in the shire?


[ April 29, 2002: Message edited by: Cimmerian ]

[Birdland]

Fly control. Someone had to keep the upper hand on all those little Maggots. (Maggot? Geez, what a name! What was Tolkien thinking?)
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Why did Frodo wait until his birthday to leave the Shire? (No, seriously: Why DID he wait until his birthday?)

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Cause he wanted to get presents before he left.(the real answer is because he didn't want to leave Bag End so he delayed as much as possible.)
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What happened to Faramir after the Battle of Pelennor Fields?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

After the Battle of Pellenor Fields Faramir said "the heck with this ring thing, I'm not doing this anymore!" So he booked a trip to Disneyland and he and Eowyn eloped.
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What was Sauron's middle name?

[Nevfeniel]

Phil
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Who exactly is Eowyn, anyways?

[Cimmerian]

Eowyn is a frustrated Rapunzel wannabe but her hair just would not grow long enough to let anyone climb up into her tower. Poor Thing smilies/frown.gif

What are the Stewards of Gondor?

[ April 30, 2002: Message edited by: Cimmerian ]

[Birdland]

Keeping with the "no women in LoTR unless absolutely necessary" theme, there were no stewardesses in Middle-earth. Only stewards.

The Stewards of Gondor were the friendly hosts for Eagle Air, the only transcontinental airline of Middle-earth. Their slogan was, "Ent-draught, mead, or me?"

They did look very fetching in their uniforms, but the heels just killed them.

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When Gandalf fell in Khazad-Dun, where did he go?

[ April 30, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

He landed in a portal and came to our Earth. Being parrelel universes, he came during the seventys. He spent a month or two as a hippie, but got bored. So he went back to ME, unfortunetly, he wouldn't tell us how.
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How did Denethor die?

[Susan Delgado]

He was so obsessed with that stupid Palantir that he forgot he left the stove on. When he smelled the smoke, he ran out to turn it off, but he tripped on the bottom of his robe and somersaulted all the way down the stairs of Ecthelion, and by the time he got to the bottom, someone else had already found the stove and turned it off.
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In what way did Bombadil help the Hobbits on their way out of the Shire?

[Birdland]

He escorted them to the borders of the Old Forest at knifepoint, and made it very clear that if they showed their furry feet around there again he'd see that "Old Man Willow finishes the job." He then went merrily dancing back among the trees, muttering something about "incompetent twits"..."learn to read a map"..."they really ARE a virus"...etc.

Later, when the Barrow Wights contacted him about their home invasion problem, the whole sorry scene had to be repeated.

Where are those Bounders when you REALLY need them?

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How did Bilbo spend his time in Rivendell?

[Nevtalathiel]

Bilbo spent his time at Rivendell knitting swesters for Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin, as well as Aragorn. They all had initials on the front and Frodo's had a special poccket for the ring. When the Fellowship arrived, Bilbo sewed up Frodo's wound and crocheted Aragorn's sword back together.

How did the sword that was broken get broken?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

After the battle, Isildur was so tired when he got home he just threw all his stuff on the couch and went to sleep. His wife was having a tea-party that day, and one of his wife's friends sat on it...
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Who was Faramir's uncle and what was he famous for?

[Cimmerian]

Faramir’s uncle was a travelling salesman for a Jeweller and he always seemed to have a collection if exquisite inscribed rings for sale. However with Sauron’s ring being lost and all, this old guy had to bear the brunt every time he tried to make a sale. This constant persecution made his tale known all over ME and he eventually gained fame and some fortune.


Why was it decided at the council of Elrond to destroy the One ring, what reason did each speaker give?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

Boromir said "EEEEWWWW!! Its evil! Icky icky evil, get it away!!"

Frodo Said "Its gotta go, but I'm not doing it! Make Bilbo go, hes gonna die soon anyway."

Aragorn said "I'll destroy it and look all heroic and will have women throwing themselves at my feet!" at that comment smiles a wide fake grin, all mirrors nearby break.

Legolas said, "Ohmigod! That is so like tacky! Gold? Yuck! Thats like soo eighties! What was sauron thinking?
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What was gollum's favorite phrase?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Gollum's favorite phrase was, "You stupid, smelly, poop-reeking, disease-carrying, plague-ridden, hunk of dog crap!!"
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Why did Denethor want to burn his own son, Faramir?

[Nevfeniel]

He was hungry? smilies/evil.gif
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Where did Merry and Pippin go after they escaped from the orcs?

[ElanorGamgee]

Merry and Pippin promptly went to the nearest salon for their manicures, pedicures, and hair styles. Those nasty orcs made them miss their appointments.

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Why did Lobelia hate Frodo?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

Lobielia hated Frodo because he stole her curling iron! The nerve of that half baggins, smilies/rolleyes.gif
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What were Boromir's last words?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Tell my people, I have died for my country...
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Who killed the Witch King?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Its a long story.
Just outside Orthanc, as he was getting ready to attack, Treebeard tripped on his shoelace and soon began an Ent domino effect, each Ent falling over and bringing another down with it. The last Ent opened a cage of Saruman's 'special' pets, Orcs bred with rats who had rabies, who scurried around and bit Saruman. Saruman then bit the Witch-King, the beloved ruler of Gonder. Both Treebeard and Saruman were held responsible, though the Ents still maintain that it was all Saruman's fault.

[Nevtalathiel]

Questions people!!!

What did Sam do with Bill the pony when the Fellowship arrived at the gates of Moria?

[Susan Delgado]

Sam didn't want the bother of using his own feet, so he rode through Moria on Bill's back, despite the strenuous objections of every other member of the Fellowship. Bill had some troubles with the steep staircases and that bridge was a mite narrow for a pony, but he managed to make it all the way out to the other side. However, after their first night in Lothlorien, Bill had mysteriously disappeared and none of the elves would say why. Sam was always suspicious though, and never ever trusted another Elf as long as he lived.
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How did Bilbo and the Dwarves escape from the Green-Elves of Mirkwood?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

With the help of.... SUPERMAN!!! da da da!! smilies/biggrin.gif
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What color is Legolas's hair?

[Belegfanaion]

Legolas' hair changes colors like the seasons, as par for the course wih elves. In spring, his hair takes on a greenish tint due to the dye he soaks it in 'cuz everyone knows Elves are like rebellious teens in the spring!). In Summer, his hair returns to a brown like the dry dust of the desert. In Autumn, he dyes his hair again in streaks - some red here, brown there, black in between, yellow roots... - and in late October it all falls out to be regrown in Spring. Meanwhile, in winter, as he has no hair, the only thing to do is polish his head, making any sunlight coming off it reflect as white. Thus, when he is up in the trees of Lorien, he is camoflagued to all the men and dwarves below - they think he's a bald eagle! smilies/tongue.gif

Why are Hobbits so short?

[Lómelindi]

Hobbits were originally normal height, but when all the wars were going on (come on, there’s always a battle or war going on) the air became poisoned. The poisoned air became infused in fog, and this tainted fog drifted into the Shire where the hobbits breathed it, and the poisoned fog stunted their growth to exactly half their original height, hence their “alternate” tag of halflings. The hobbits never trusted the “Big People” ever again, because they blamed this occurrence on the Men.
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Why are Merry’s nose and chin crooked? (Anyone who saw FOTR more than once will have noticed this.)

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Because he was a crook, so he was crooked.
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How/was Sam related to Frodo(blood)?

[ May 03, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Hanna_Gamgee]

Sam and Frodo are brothers.

Who attacked Frodo in Mordor?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

His elementary teacher. On the last day of school Frodo put a whoopee cushion on his teacher's chair. He escaped his paddling. His teacher finally found him and gave him the spanking in wait for him.
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What was the mission of the Fellowship of the Ring?

[Lómelindi]

His agent, because after glowing critical reviews for Frodo's perfomance he's wondering why he isn't getting better movie roles.
(Sorry, Elijah.)
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Why does Aragorn have so many different names?