When You Are Oppressed, Or Ten Weighty Reasons for Teenagers and Their Parents

[Thorongil]

I agree that the problem could be the time. My mother thinks I spend too much time on the net, but I don't think she has a problem with this site. I myself can only find positive things about the site. Everyday I learn something new about LotR, I get to test that knowledge in the Quiz Room. I also get to practise my english. Being norwegian, I don't get many chances to do that.

[Mithalwen]

I would say that the trans-age trans-culture communication thing is a big plus... and given that LOTR so often appeals to people who have hit adolescence with an almighty thump...... it might even be a life-saver ..... I might have had a much happier and less isolated time in my teens had the net been around then .... lone geek ....... Teenagers are notorious for not talking to their own parents... I guess it is natural for parents to fear that their kids will get lured by some predatory pervert ... but the net can provide a wonderful outlet for self expression and a source of support.....

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Alas, I know of this parental dislike all too well. My parents fully support most of what I do, but I'm not entirely sure they understand my fascination with Tolkien's world. I'm pretty sure, as well, that they don't exactly like how much time I spend online, but as I spend more time offline and fully in the "real world" with friends, family, and others, they don't complain much.

The way I see it, being an active member on this forum has improved my communication and analytical thinking skills. I am more able to pick up on subtleties in writing and respond accordingly. My thoughts may not be much more organized, but my ways of expressing them are.

Also, being in constant communication from people of all walks (and generations) of life is a very interesting experience. Not many highschoolers get to speak to and create friendships with people from all over the world.

Fea

[The Perky Ent]

Here's one: The Quiz Room teaches sharing and taking turns

Not something to be on the list, but just a kindergarden benefactor for the quiz room. There's a system, and you follow it. And if you do something against the system, you fix it and don't do it again! Teaches responcibility. Yes, most of those things on the list I've benefited. But, my parents don't strike me down about the downs. I have a reason. I get good grades. If anyone here on the downs is getting better grades, especially in English, tell your parents. Say, "I got this because I learned. It's a place where I'm introducted to many intelectual things!" And if they say no, go on anyway However, if you aren't getting good grades, and your parents say it's cause of the downs, just say "I've been getting bad grades because I've been cuttin class to hang out by the (insert local gas/convience store here)" Your parents will be concerned about your cutting class, and won't have time to worry about the Downs

If I'm not beging a good help, I apologize.


Oh, and also, the Downs (especially RPGS) helps spelling!

[HerenIstarion]

Originally Posted by Child of 7th Age

Is the issue really the Downs, or is it "time management"? Sometimes parents will respond positively if you offer to put limits on yourself, e.g., only after homework, or only a one-hour slot or thirty minute slot "X" times per week

My very words:

Just promise to let your eyes rest for ten minutes every hour (to avoid sight damage), and to make some excercise every two (and thus keep away from dangers your backbone is exposed to as a result of constant sitting). Also make sure that homework comes first ... It would be wise to keep said promises too

But the issue is really deeper than it seems at the first glance.

I do believe that if anyone restricted by tutelage of parents not sharing Tolkien addictiveness (and I am grieved to point that all of us are Tolkien addicts to an extent) wishes to spend X hours at the screen, the general strategy is to show people in charge that time spent at the Downs is wholesome in itself, regardless the issues, and more so than merely pleasant.

(- eat the green stuff, its wholesome
- but it is not tasty, I'd rather go for candy
- no candies, they rot your teeth
- why, oh why all the food that is wholesome should be absolutely insipid!)

Your very words:

It's another to have them involved with something unfamiliar to you.

Alas, but the list of unfamiliar things which allegedly are pleasent (at first), and then bring harm may be extended to include drugs, alcohol, smoking and other unhealthy activities. So any activity which is not understood by guardian but is apparently pleasing the ward may be included into the category in one sweep of parental judgement. The logical pair - Drinking/Tolkien fascinates my ward = Drinking/Tolkien is dangerous in the long run (alas, but I've seen real life cases).

Besides, with all this media talk about nerds, weirds and maniac - worshippers who over-read Tolkien, dressed up as elves (dwarves, 15 foot rabbits) and did horrid things make parents who never read Tolkien uneasy. So the strategic battle of 'bring your parent to Professor's altar' may be seen by parent in question as highly suspicious, and may make them stress on the 'altar' in particular (though we do not have altars, don't we?), and if started from advertising Tolkien as Tolkien. That is the second step, I believe

But first step must be (I believe) letting guardian see that activity which is pleasant is also wholesome. After letting them grow accustomed with the idea, one may come out with - 'and that's not just because, but for the Professor', or with 'Now as we all know how much do I get from this site, do you mind we all read the Books?'

But all of the above is for the people who are banned from the site. If you already have mutual admiration society to support you, no need to make 'buy this hoover for only 99.99 and you'll get...' type of fool of yourself

(- hey, mom (dad, uncle, yer honour, reverend Brown), I've found the candy which is tasty and wholesome!
- Can't be, there is no wholesome candies!
- But look, here, look at the list of its properties which are good for you
- What list? Lemme see, um, er, yes, but is it, really?
- And the list is approved of by Co7A, who is parent and teacher herself, and this H-I chap who made it is only 31.3% geek and works in a bank, and is a swimmer and has a Master's degree (I know I'm vain, but it for the sake of the Case ) And I've already done my homework, made 10 pull-ups on the bar out there and focused on Mr Grey's car, which is 200 yards away for the whole of ten minutes!
- Allright, since it is so wholesome, er, um, I suppose you may have it...)

It was all advertisement, after all. (and yet, advertisements are not convincing if there is less than 80% truth to them )

Some time thence:

(- Um, kid, you are eating those candies all the time, and it does you good - you seem more litarate, and homework is always done, and biceps are growing, as you exercise - would you let us have some too?)

[Mithalwen]

Well I guess I spent too much time in Middle Earth but since I had my nose in a book all the time they assumed it was ok......... lol ...strange they didn't really look into what I was reading and somethings were way more unsuitable than Tolkien... just somehow reading = good computer = bad........

Actually I studied linguistics because of Tolkien...... and if you want to add to the list of responsible adults I have a couple of degrees in literature and a post-grad teaching cert, and taught in a university .... however some might think my drinking habits leave something to be desired ..... but a glass of red a day is more or less compulsory these days.....

Actually show your parents some of the discussion threads.... I bet they will be impressed even if they haven't read Tolkien ... I mean despite the lit. degrees I was completely awestruck by the level of some of the threads here.... they will probably make the downs compulsory!!!

Oh I only ranked 21% geek .... but then there were a lot questions only applicable/understandable to Americans..

[Diamond18]

I conveniently avoided most parental problems by joining the Barrow Downs three days before my 18th birthday. I had not spent much time online prior to that. Now I am a part of email lists, post regularly here, have sampled other forums, surf using Google, and instant message with YIM, all on a daily basis. (And that's in addition to burying myself in Word for hours on end, writing fiction.) The 'Downs was my first real internet addiction, and therefore the one most logically to blame for all following ones. If you kiddies want to scare your parents, tell them that Tolkien can lead to a life of staying on the computer till 6 in the morning, rather than out partying till 6! Oh wait, I'm the only one who is scared by that....

To be serious, I suspect the most postive aspect of the 'Downs from a parental perspective would be the communicative and debating skills. You don't need the internet to become proficient in writing skills such as grammar and spelling, but to be able to put these skills to such regular use is invaluable. Forums in general, and high standard forums such as the BD in particular, present a great challenge to express, explain, and debate opinions and ideas. Daily exercise.

I only scored 15.77909% on that Geek test, incidentally. In my opinion it was too computer and Sci Fi based. I am sure I'd score much higher on a more literature/fantasy based geek test.