The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 07-20-2008, 07:50 PM

Hmm... Volume 2, week 1... My brother didn't laugh as much as last time... I did though! So it means that it was good!

Morthoron · 07-20-2008, 09:05 PM

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Dear Sirs:

Having read your latest edition, I must say I am replying now with great consternation and concern. I combed each article, thumbed through the advertisements, and rummaged about in the classifieds...and I couldn't really find anything to complain about! I must say this is a first for me, and I am utterly at a loss as to whether or not I shall henceforth purchase your paper. You, sirs, have eliminated my God-given right to complain; therefore, I am mad as Hades, and I am not going to take it anymore!

Too long have responsible government officials tried to make things easier for me, too long has the road been made smooth where once lay potholes, too often have clerks in sales establishments tried to be pleasant. I want my misery! I want to be angry for no apparent reason, and you've taken that away from me! Without being able to criticize, complain and otherwise harbor irrational bitterness, I'll have nothing left but happiness. This is wrong on so many levels, I feel that this must be some sort of sinister plot promulgated by unknown high-placed insiders to make everyone merry. Tra-la-la, tripping through the daisies, peace and love and puppy dog entrails...BAH!

You have just one week to return to your horrid and distorted editorial pieces, terrible grammar and otherwise substandard reporting, or I shall be forced to cancel my subscription.

Sincerely,
Mr. Peevish Whinge-Carp
Old Grumbley Rd, Nagshead

Groin Redbeard · 07-24-2008, 09:25 PM

It's an honor of a lifetime to on the cover of the Downer (which goes to show how sad my life really is

). Though I must ask: how did the Downer know that I collect brains? That's the reason that I'm stalking Legate right now!

Of course the government has lied to the people more than three times Hookbill! I'd even say that they've lied as many as ten times!

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 07-25-2008, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Groin Redbeard

It's an honor of a lifetime to on the cover of the Downer (which goes to show how sad my life really is

). Though I must ask: how did the Downer know that I collect brains? That's the reason that I'm stalking Legate right now!

YOU STALK PEOPLE?!?!?

... well, who doesn't?

Anyway, having your face on the cover of the Downer means your life has meaning... My life obviously doesn't have any meaning...

Eönwë · 07-25-2008, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

My life obviously doesn't have any meaning...

Aha! I foiled your cunning plan. You are just saying that to get you own face on the Downer. What crude, underhand tactics.

Joking, joking.

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 07-25-2008, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eönwë

Aha! I foiled your cunning plan. You are just saying that to get you own face on the Downer. What crude, underhand tactics.

Joking, joking.

My cunning plan? What? I was just stating the truth! Anyway, if I was trying to get my face on the Downer, then I could just ask Mr. Goomba. But anyway, I don't try to get my way by bragging about my meaningless life.

EDIT: I thought that John Fillis was a dog, not a giant monster. Alien said so himself!

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-27-2008, 05:01 PM

With just enough time to steal your wallet...

Special thanks and a large oyster to Formendacil for his amusing story about Manwe!

The continuing saga continues! Lets check in on Alien, shall we?

07-20-2008, 07:50 PM	#1
TheGreatElvenWarrior Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America Posts: 2,230	Hmm... Volume 2, week 1... My brother didn't laugh as much as last time... I did though! So it means that it was good! __________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.

07-20-2008, 09:05 PM	#2
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Sirs: Having read your latest edition, I must say I am replying now with great consternation and concern. I combed each article, thumbed through the advertisements, and rummaged about in the classifieds...and I couldn't really find anything to complain about! I must say this is a first for me, and I am utterly at a loss as to whether or not I shall henceforth purchase your paper. You, sirs, have eliminated my God-given right to complain; therefore, I am mad as Hades, and I am not going to take it anymore! Too long have responsible government officials tried to make things easier for me, too long has the road been made smooth where once lay potholes, too often have clerks in sales establishments tried to be pleasant. I want my misery! I want to be angry for no apparent reason, and you've taken that away from me! Without being able to criticize, complain and otherwise harbor irrational bitterness, I'll have nothing left but happiness. This is wrong on so many levels, I feel that this must be some sort of sinister plot promulgated by unknown high-placed insiders to make everyone merry. Tra-la-la, tripping through the daisies, peace and love and puppy dog entrails...BAH! You have just one week to return to your horrid and distorted editorial pieces, terrible grammar and otherwise substandard reporting, or I shall be forced to cancel my subscription. Sincerely, Mr. Peevish Whinge-Carp Old Grumbley Rd, Nagshead __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

07-24-2008, 09:25 PM	#3
Groin Redbeard Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope! Posts: 1,635	It's an honor of a lifetime to on the cover of the Downer (which goes to show how sad my life really is). Though I must ask: how did the Downer know that I collect brains? That's the reason that I'm stalking Legate right now! Of course the government has lied to the people more than three times Hookbill! I'd even say that they've lied as many as ten times! __________________ I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

07-27-2008, 05:01 PM	#7
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Getting into your house With just enough time to steal your wallet... Special thanks and a large oyster to Formendacil for his amusing story about Manwe! The continuing saga continues! Lets check in on Alien, shall we? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

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