A Downer Dinner Party

[Lalwendë]

I don't 'do' parties, because firstly, my house is far too crowded with books and mathoms and creatures that allowing more than two humans within is a recipe for disaster, and secondly, I am always so aftraid of offending anyone that I would have to invite everyone I knew, so the recipe for disaster would end up being served as a steaming dish. But anyway, 'tis a bit of fun, so here goes:

Lalwende's Breaking the Light Supper Thing

Now I'm not altogether fond of dinner parties, being quite self conscious when eating as I tend to spill food all over the place (and a bag of chips on a wall is much more my 'thing'), but I might hold a special one with the above theme. It would centre around discussion of theories of Light in Arda, and conversation would become very spacey and deep. To that end, I have had to invite those who seem to have an understanding of cosmological concepts and a willingness to risk madness in pursuit of that understanding.

The table will be round, as like King Arthur, I wish all to be considered as equals. And this dinner party will be held in a big old tent thingy (what other people with more posh circles of acquaintance may know as a Marquee) with a hole in the ceiling to let all the smoke out, and allow the night air in to soothe troubled brows.

Saruman - not popular at Downer dinner parties, I should have to hope he could regain his physical form and attend (though if he came in spirit form at least it would leave more food and drink for everyone else), as I am quite desperate to know if he was performing acts of evil, thought he was being a scientist or was some kind of heretic. He can explain that staff and what he was doing with the Palantir too.
Gandalf - as a foil to Saruman, I would want him there to calm the effects of his former leader's voice. But also to give his perspective on what exactly Saruman was doing wrong. I'd hope he'd explain something of the Secret Fire too.
Boromir88 - because he is willing to jump in and tackle the thorny issue of Light, science and cosmology and not afraid to speculate.
davem - because he too is willing to discuss this and he knows all about Fleiger and is very clever, and that last thing will quite go to his head.
Child - she knows about Light, too, and Fleiger. And she also has a calming influence which will stop any potential cross-table bun-throwing.
Galadriel - already very popular at Downer dinner parties I suppose I should have to book her months in advance. But her presence is required as she understands the divinity of Light.
Mark 12_30 - with her different perspective on the matter of Light and Divinity, she will enliven the table by posing questions that the rest of us might not have thought about.
Me - I'm not spending all night in the kitchen though.

Food and drink - the food will be provided by Rick Stein because as we all know, fish is good for the brains and they will be needed. And the grub in his restaurant is splendid. The drinks will consist of strange brews to stimulate the mind almost to the point of madness, and good pure Yorkshire water - my tipple of choice. Large bowls of tobacco will be placed on one of those lazy susan thingys in the middle of the table, and hopefully nobody will grumble about the smoke. I might consider serving a large vat of custard as Boromir88 may show willing to try out the theory that you can walk on it, which will suit the scientific theme of the evening - though he must not stand still as then the custard will act as quicksand and he will be trapped in it forever.

This dinner party will be such an outrageous success that it will be followed on the next day by:

Lalwende's Bun Feight

The table again will be round, as the theme of this dinner party will simply be 'laugh until your sides split', and a round table will facilitate better banter. I think I may again decide to hold it in the tent thingy, as I don't want my house ruined by any chucked food. And of course, I will be keen to get an extra night's usage out of aforementioned marquee, and it would be amusing to have it sent back slightly soiled. Anyone who even attempts to be serious shall be immediately forced to go into the kitchen and wash up. Alas, there is a slight gender imbalance here, as despite having so many marvellously funny ladies on the Downs, they are not quite so common seemingly within Middle Earth.

Mithalwen - because she does not fail to make me laugh and I want to see if she shouts when she's drunk.
Eomer of the Rohirrim - for his witty one-liners, and to keep Mithalwen quiet too.
Bilbo Baggins - because he's Bilbo, and my very favourite Hobbit, and of course he must come because of his way with words, upsetting people with his peculiar sense of humour and all that!
Tom Bombadil - to entertain us with some silly songs, some tall tales and his stomping about.
Davem - he gets another invite, because once he starts laughing, he doesn't stop for hours.
Bethberry - as she is not only frightfully smart, but very witty with it.
Estelyn - for her wonderful gentle humour, and her way with trouble makers; I have no doubt she will prevent any excessive chucking of food.
Heren-Istarion - he has such a strange sense of humour, slightly sarcastic, very clever, but never unpleasant!

Food and drink - now, I think the food should be mainly centred around things like cake - also known as 'buns' in these here parts, hence the 'feight', which suggests a 'fight' but in reality just means a party. Though I might also serve up fish and chips and mushy peas, in newspaper. The drinks served will be ales and lashings of ginger beer. The police will be called at 1am due to all the laughing echoing around the neighbourhood.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Being the glutton that I am for breeding malcontent, I have decided to go out and earn my punishments. My latest dinner gathering will be... eventful.

Guest number one: Durin's Bane. During dinner, we could permanently solve the wing question. I must be certain not to order chicken wings, as I hear that balrogs taste like them (ie: hot and like chicken), and the wing aspect of the appetizer may unshadow his fiery temper. Dessert shall be roasted marshmallows.

Roggie's dinner partner will be Meela. I rather think that she would appreciate his occasional party tricks of spouting flames. Also, her sense of humor might serve to keep my next two guests from annoying each other too much.

On my other side sit Nienna and Tom Bombadil. Her being in a state of constant sorrow and him not particularly understanding what that is should balance out quite nicely. He can cheer her up and she can, perhaps, get him to stop singing.

Further along the table sits Nilpaurion Felagund, arguing merrily with Adam.

Sitting at the far end of my table is Ungoliant, consuming rather more than her own fair share of the meal. Occasionally Roggie ups and flies to her end of the table in order to keep her in line, but when things get out of hand, I have a bucket of water handy to gooify him.

As I said, the meal with include no chicken wings, but perhaps I could serve lembas and such nice things for my "good" guests, and essence of all that is good to those not-so-nice personages.

Fea

[Formendacil]

Okay, this sounds like fun...

Now, I could never host a party in real life, having (for my own physical territory) a bedroom that would not FIT ten people, let alone do it comfortably. Of course, I'm also hampered by a general inability to invite people to things in the first place, but let's assume that's not the case.

Of course, I still have the problem of inviting five Downers. It's like taking five random names out of a phonebook. I hardly know any of you people. The middle-earthians, Valinoreans, and Numenorians are, of course, all dearly-beloved old friends. The question there is not who to invite, but who NOT to invite. Five is a pretty small number after all...

Okay, for starters, there's me, sitting at the head (or is the the foot, I can't tell) of the table, which is conveniently located somewhere in Never-Neverland, where people from Middle-earth and the Downs can easily access it..

Seated to my left is Bombur, who is perhaps the only Dwarf whose personality seems closer to that of a Hobbit. And who will do a fine job of making me look tall and fit (although I'm neither fat, short, nor lazy, I'm not the finest specimen of humankind this side of the South Saskatchewan).

Seated next to Bombur is the second of the obligatory Downers (myself being, of course, the first). Let's hear a big round of applause for the Phantom, invited for his excellent taste in music (Let's hear it for the Phantom of the Opera, perhaps my favourite of music...) The Phantom has also been invited for his general ability to act intelligent and witty (although I am well-possessed of those attributes myself, if I may allow my ego to shine through momentarily...)

Next to the Phantom is another Downer. Please welcome Lalwende, who was actually invited for no other reason than that I wanted to get the Bilbo avatar image out of my head. Although all the indications are that she's another intelligent guest who would actually add to the conversation, and not wear it out. Besides, I had to make sure I got a lady in somehow...

Next to Lalwende is Lord Celeborn, who is currently baching it in the old family home, his wife and daughter having already moved into their new residence in Eressia. Rumour has it he's a charming dinner companion, and he was also willing to bring some miruvor, which he has exclusive access to in Middle-earth since house-sitting for his half-elven son-in-law.

At the foot (or head) of the table is seated, on a booster seat, the physically unimposing, but always very charming, Bilbo Baggins. As the Hobbit who first hooked me on Middle-earth, this is my thank-you (and a concession to Lalwende, to make sure she showed up). Besides, he offered to bring a bottle or four of the Old Winyards.

We now move onto the other side of the table, where we meet another Downer. I don't think it is necessary to introduce him, as I'm sure you all know the one and only (thank goodness!) SaucepanMan. While the invitation will state that he was invited for his wit and good company, the fact is that the caterers (Barliman Butterbur and the staff of the Prancing Pony) forgot about cooking utensils (something about things wanted, always buried...), and as such, we need the SaucepanMan's saucepans. We considered inviting Sam, but then we would have had to invite Rosie, and Sam's pans are only hobbit-sized anyway.

Of course, SpM may well have use of his pans in other areas, considering that the person next to him is none other than the Mouth of Sauron. Quite apart from possessing horrid table manners which will require repeated banging with pans, he seems the sort of person that is fun to bang around in any case. Actually, the invitation was sent to OCCUPANT, Gorgoroth Lane, Mordor, as a diversion to get Sauron out of the house while a couple of pranksters snuck in and put some explosives in his decorative volcano out back. Sauron declined the invitation, more or less as expected, citing something about being incorporeal, but sent his Mouth in his place. This caught us off guard, and we were forced to forget about inviting Tom Bombadil. As of yet, no one has complained that strenuously...

To counterbalance the gloominess of the Mouth, it was decided to seat our last Downer, Boromir88 to his other side. This guest seems capable of providing enough levity to counterbalance the Mouth, and is tactful enough not to comment too harshly on his right-hand seating partner.

Lastly, on Boromir88's left hand, we have our final guest. Serving as bouncer-cum-dessert baker, we have Grimbeorn the Old. Grimbeorn wasn't invited so much for his conversational or social skills (how much does a bear have, anyway?), but he's said to bake the meanest honey-cake in the Wilderland, and we have it on the highest word (that of the redoubtable Samwise Gamgee) that Lembas gets old really fast.

Well, there you have it. My dinner party. Precisely what dinner will be I can't say. That's up to the caterers. Fortunately, with Old Vinyards, honeycakes, and miruvor, even if Butterbur and crew can't turn out anything edibile with SpM's saucepans, it should still be a memorable party.

Here's hoping that it's enough of a success that I am able to invite people to another, knowing that they'll come.

*Raises glass. Drains glass. Looks for Old Vinyards bottle...*

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

My what an interesting thread, Fordim .

I will be hosting an informal sort of dinner party for mutual mental acrobatics, since I've been in Quiz Room heaven recently. The guests will be as follows (starting from the head and then back and forth across the table):

1. At the head of the table, Squatter of Amon Rudh . Yes, I'm giving up my place of honor at my own party, but I feel like Squatter is much better prepared to lead the fun and games.

2. On Squatter's right, Me . It is my party. I want to be near all the clever people.

3. Across the table from me, Estelyn Telcontar. The mind that invented REB certainly has a place at this gathering. Plus I suspect she's got a host of little known facts just waiting to be tested.

4. On my right, Feanor. That's right.

5. Across the table from the son of Miriel, Celebrimbor. We'll just have an epic matchup between the creators of the two most disruptive artifacts in ME history. It's like Celebrity Jeopardy.

6. On the right hand of Feanor, Nienna. Partly because I suspect she and Feanor are now well acquainted, partly because I hope she'll bring her yards of tapestry which we can use as a reference when we're too far from the bookshelf or the Encyclopedia of Arda .

7. Across from Nienna, Alaklondewen. Not only has she stumped me a good time or two, she secretly misses the agony of staring at a blank screen trying to come up with an anagram.

8. At the right hand of Nienna, The Saucepan Man. I think Saucy wrote the book on all things cryptic. If he hasn't yet, he should.

9. Across from the good PanMan, Nilpaurion Felagund. A worthy addition to any party of this sort and as an added bonus, it's like getting two guests for the price of one.

10. Last but not least, the counterpart to the noble Squatter at the foot of the table, Bilbo Baggins. One can't have a riddle party without inviting the master himself, of course.

For the menu we'll be having sandwiches, of the kind that come wrapped in white paper. Once the sandwiches are unwrapped the paper will come in extremely handy for scratching down clues and unscrambling words. There will be something tasty in spillproof bottles for beverages, mine will be Diet Coke, but the drink of each guest's preference will be provided.

Cheers.
Sophia

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

I

Mithalwen - because she does not fail to make me laugh and I want to see if she shouts when she's drunk.

Hmm, I haven't been drunk for a long time and when I was I was more of a maudlin drunk - but a glass or three does tend to loosen the tongue - if I get going on something I care about, alcohol is irrelevant. I do try not to shout because it is not a substitute for backing up the argument - ... but since I am not so good at thinking on the hoof, if I get angry I tend to go very quiet, and the tic starts up....

However, assuming Iwasn't driving there would be a chance that I might tell Bombadil just how annoying he was...

[Morsul the Dark]

I don't know what complement the table means so this may not seem too good...

Ok..

First off I shall sit at the head of the table facing away from thhe window
secondly to my right will be Encantaire to her right will be Grima Wortounge we know she likes the guy Next to him will be Rosey because... HMM.. so anyway next to her is of course Sam since husband and wife must sit together next to him will be Firefoot. at the opposite head of the table is H-I cause hes very polite well mannered and I consider him a good friend.next to him is Arwen and next to her Aragorn and then Child of the Seventh Age because she is also quite nice and polite and considered a good friend...the other seats are vacant so there is room for the food
down below is a nifty diagram ok I made the diagram as well as I could it came out bad I know but I tried


Morsul
-----------/IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII\
-----------IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEnca
-----------IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
-----------IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGrima
-----------IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
--Child-----IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRosey
-----------IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Aragorn---IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISam
-----------IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
---Arwen--IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFirefoot
-----------\IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII/
---------------------H-I

[Encaitare]

First off I shall sit at the head of the table facing away from thhe window
secondly to my right will be Encantaire to her right will be Grima Wortounge we know she likes the guy

Aw, how sweet of you. And how... remarkably perceptive.

[Lindolirian]

...so this'll be a Quizzer's party!
The Saucepan Man: Who could leave him out; our most cryptic clatterer? Not to mention a wonderful mod and leader.
Nilpaurion Felagund: Always a jolly good time with these two!
Gandalf: The Wisest Maia of all, certainly to know a good deal of trivia.
Firefoot: What's the Quiz Room with out 20 Questions and what's 20 Questions with out Firefoot?
NightKnight: Our resident Swede, with good sense of humor... here's to hoping he'll return.
Bilbo Baggins: Goodness, he translated all those Elvish tales, he must have a few whiz-bangers up his sleeve!
Heren-Istarion: Mostly quotes, but that "Another Way Around" is quite the toughie! Besides, who could leave him out?
The Perky Ent: Again, hoping this Bregalad-ish fellow would peek in now and then.
Sophia the Thunder Mistress: Returning from a long absence; I missed her stumpers!
And from waaay back in the day...
Bruce MacCulloch and Mat-Heathertoes/Russandol: A long time ago when our flesh was not fully rotted, these two would engage in unbreakable quizzing sprees with questions that made (and still make) my head spin!
Eru Iluvatar: Gotta have that omniscient fella to confirm our answers so we don't have to spend valuble eating time looking them up in the books!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Lindo, you left yourself and Vairë out!

Wrong Lindo, wise guy.

Oh.

~*~

NightKnight: Our resident Swede, with good sense of humor... here's to hoping he'll return.
. . .
The Perky Ent: Again, hoping this Bregalad-ish fellow would peek in now and then. (Lindo)

I agree. I hope those two would be back permanently in the Quiz Room.

Although, Bruce MacCulloch does peek every now and then.

~*~

Being an avid fan of asocialism, I am not trained in the art of Hosting Parties. But after receiving a string of invitations (Thank you very much, Fea, Sophia, and Lindo! ), I felt it my duty to reciprocate. Problem is, I have made so much acquaintances in so many areas of the Downs that it would be hard to find just ten people.

I guess I’ll have to do it thematically.

But I can’t post now. I still have to make my guest lists. Plus find caterers. Food is always the diadem of my party.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Honored guests, I welcome you, to movie night. The meal, if it can truly be called that, is popcorn, Ben and Jerry's, and soda. And Fea's [in]famous pizza dip (made with cream cheese, chile sauce, peppers, onions, pepperoni, and cheese). The movie shall be [the cartoon version of] The Return of the King, and the featured guests shall be:

Samwise Gamgee, to explain to us what he was really doing behind that bush. "I was just digging for taters, Gandalf, sir... not droppin' no eaves."

Elrond Peredhil, to explain the existence of his beard and halo. "Artistic license goes such a long way."

That Gondorian Minstrel for live performance of each song, followed by an emergency binding, gagging, and stuffing in a sound-proofed room.

Myself, of course.

And to finish it off, Encaitare and Child of the Seventh Age, both of whom are recorded as having not liked the movie whatsoever. Mwahahaha. *evil smilie*.

Finishing off the night's activities will be a non-ceremonial burning of all traces of that film. *shudder*.

Fea [wanders away singing "where there's a whip [crack] there's a way."]