If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-28-2005, 02:55 AM

Tell them, in as kindly a voice as I can wield, that they do not exist.

Tuor of Gondolin · 03-29-2005, 02:50 PM

Hmm.

What if 200,00 orcs, after reading a fantasy novel in which they are
negatively stereotyped as evil guys who get killed by the good guys,
become born again proselytizing American Christian fundamentalists
(say, hare krishnas or Mormons). They go back in time to 1950s Oxford
and try to convert to their cause an Oxford don scholar/writer. This
professor becomes so irritated with their constant knocking on his
door and driving past in cars with bad exhausts he decides to put them
in the fantasy novel he is writing as bad guys who get killed by the
good guys, a book which is eventually read by 200,000 orcs who,
after reading this fantasy novel.......

Ainaserkewen · 03-29-2005, 05:40 PM

I'd do what I do with most everyone who comes to my door.

Sign for the package and/or refuse to by the vacuum and/or tell them I'm not interested in converting and/or don't need a home security system and/or not by candy and/or give pop cans and if they don't go away, release my hound.

the guy who be short · 05-16-2005, 12:43 PM

Wander about, looking for female Orcs to determine their existance. At the same time, I would wonder how and army of 200,000 managed to fit on so small a front lawn.

Memory of Trees · 05-19-2005, 01:00 PM

Use my evil Snithy mind powers to convince them that they are my evil minions and must do my bidding. Then I would have them weed my lawn BY HAND!!! MUAHAHAHAHAchoke*cough*ack... and then they would have to watch endless reruns of American Idol with me while drinking cold tea!!!! POWERRRR!!!!

Holbytlass · 05-19-2005, 03:25 PM

being the hobbit that I am, I'd feed them to death. Have a nice day.

the guy who be short · 05-19-2005, 03:33 PM

But Holbytlass... there isn't enough of you to feed 200,000 orcs.

03-28-2005, 02:55 AM	#1
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	The 200,000 Orcs dilemma. Tell them, in as kindly a voice as I can wield, that they do not exist. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

03-29-2005, 02:50 PM	#2
Tuor of Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles) Posts: 1,548	Hmm. What if 200,00 orcs, after reading a fantasy novel in which they are negatively stereotyped as evil guys who get killed by the good guys, become born again proselytizing American Christian fundamentalists (say, hare krishnas or Mormons). They go back in time to 1950s Oxford and try to convert to their cause an Oxford don scholar/writer. This professor becomes so irritated with their constant knocking on his door and driving past in cars with bad exhausts he decides to put them in the fantasy novel he is writing as bad guys who get killed by the good guys, a book which is eventually read by 200,000 orcs who, after reading this fantasy novel....... __________________ Aure Entuluva!

03-29-2005, 05:40 PM	#3
Ainaserkewen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A cosmic waiting room Posts: 651	I'd do what I do with most everyone who comes to my door. Sign for the package and/or refuse to by the vacuum and/or tell them I'm not interested in converting and/or don't need a home security system and/or not by candy and/or give pop cans and if they don't go away, release my hound. __________________ Solus... I'm eating chicken again. I ate chicken yesterday and the day before... will I be eating chicken again tomorrow? Why am I always eating chicken?

05-19-2005, 01:00 PM	#5
Memory of Trees Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Here! Over here!!! Behind that rock. Yes, that is I... Posts: 84	Use my evil Snithy mind powers to convince them that they are my evil minions and must do my bidding. Then I would have them weed my lawn BY HAND!!! MUAHAHAHAHAchokecoughack... and then they would have to watch endless reruns of American Idol with me while drinking cold tea!!!! POWERRRR!!!! __________________ .~Mem~. "This is work, not Super-Happy-Fun time!"

05-19-2005, 03:25 PM	#6
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	being the hobbit that I am, I'd feed them to death. Have a nice day. __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

05-16-2005, 12:43 PM	#4
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	Wander about, looking for female Orcs to determine their existance. At the same time, I would wonder how and army of 200,000 managed to fit on so small a front lawn.

05-19-2005, 03:33 PM	#7
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	A vital flaw... But Holbytlass... there isn't enough of you to feed 200,000 orcs.