Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
10-29-2005, 12:43 AM | #241 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish Mount fang had wheels and could race Mount Zoom!
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
10-29-2005, 01:55 AM | #242 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: I don't know. Eastern ME doesn't have maps.
Posts: 527
|
Quote:
Granted. Unfortunately, the tires pop and Mount Fang crashes into our already burnt-down Rivendel. At least it cleared up the landscape. I wish Isildur sliced off Sauron's HAND to take the ring from Sauron.
__________________
"And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that." -A History of Villains |
|
10-29-2005, 09:27 AM | #243 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid
Posts: 2,254
|
Quote:
I wish there were dinosaurs in Middle-Earth.
__________________
I ♣ baby seals. |
|
10-29-2005, 11:12 AM | #244 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish the Balrog had decided to have a lie in on the day that Gandalf and the others escaped from Moria.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
10-29-2005, 09:28 PM | #245 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
|
Quote:
I wish that Turgon had listened to Tuor and evacuated Gondolin
__________________
Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
|
10-29-2005, 09:40 PM | #246 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
|
your wish is granted,
Turgon evacuates Gondolin. Gothmog and the other balrog survive until the war of wrath when Gothmog flees to Moria, having two balrogs infest the area. Turgon remains high king of the Noldor and leads the armies of the last alliance. He barely survives and keeps Vilya, Gil-galad is still slain though. Imladris is run by Turgon instead of elrond and though the council of Turgon is a great success, when the fellowship goes through Moria, Gothmog and his other pal, destroy the fellowship and Gothmog takes the ring becoming the new dark lord. I wish Fingolfin would have defeated Melkor |
10-29-2005, 11:04 PM | #247 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
|
Quote:
I wish that Nienor hadn't commited suicide.
__________________
Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
|
11-01-2005, 12:42 PM | #248 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
|
Quote:
Not only does Nienor give in to personal *cough* demons, no one does, and Middle Earth is chalk full of angsty, depressed, and emotional characters, running a muck and wearing large amounts of runny eyeliner. Also, (again) Zoloft is introduced... and then abandoned. We're all far too depressed to take something advertised by a skipping rock-face...head... thing. The Rohirrim appear to turn to bad, Gothic poetry for comfort. Whereas Gondorians everywhere start wearing black...well...more black and become hermits. The peoples of Middle Earth decide that its all just too much for them to bear and gladdly hand over the Ring to Sauron, Frodo and all, so that he might put an end to it all. sniff. I wish that instead of a "Great Eye", Sauron would have been a giant pair of sparkley disco-britches which shake violently when angered. Grr!
__________________
"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
|
|
11-01-2005, 06:12 PM | #249 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: I don't know. Eastern ME doesn't have maps.
Posts: 527
|
[/QUOTE]I wish that instead of a "Great Eye", Sauron would have been a giant pair of sparkley disco-britches which shake violently when angered. Grr![/QUOTE]
Granted. However, Eru thinks of the children and erases Sauron from existence. I wish Saruman and Sauron didn't have racially different hands.
__________________
"And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that." -A History of Villains |
11-02-2005, 12:38 AM | #250 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish Denethor had gone into acting.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
11-02-2005, 02:14 AM | #251 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: I don't know. Eastern ME doesn't have maps.
Posts: 527
|
Quote:
Granted. Denethor goes into the acting career. Unfortunately, despite his superb roles as insane men, Denethor is torn apart by the tinseltown machine and lives the rest of his days missing the limelight. I wish Sauron scratched his butt with his black hand and set it(his butt) on fire by accident.
__________________
"And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that." -A History of Villains |
|
11-02-2005, 08:17 AM | #252 | |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
|
Quote:
I wish Faramir had gone to with the Fellowship instead of Boromir.
__________________
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
|
11-02-2005, 08:25 AM | #253 | |
Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
|
Quote:
I wish that Maedhros had not lost his hand.
__________________
Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
|
|
11-02-2005, 09:03 AM | #254 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish Shelob had just had a really big pig out on Orcs and so couldn't chase Frodo and Sam.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
11-02-2005, 04:11 PM | #255 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
|
Quote:
I wish that all of the sons of Feanor had been killed trying to take Dior's Silmaril.
__________________
Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
|
11-03-2005, 12:35 PM | #256 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish Deagol had killed Smeagol
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
11-03-2005, 12:49 PM | #257 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
|
Quote:
Deagol kills Smeagol, keeps the ring, and takes a few years in thearpy to boot. After seven progressive years he has a panic attack and runs away from home thinking that all the other hobbits are shaking their heads at him chanting "Shame, shame." He gets up enough nerve to look at that nasty, problem causing ring on his journey to nowhere and becomes instantly enthralled with it. The ring directs him Southeast, toward Mordor, but Deagol gets lost and ends up mucking about in Rivendell where he is thrown into prison for being nothing but a royal pain. Congratulations! The Ring never gets to Mordor, but all of Imaldris is calling for you blood. I wish that instead of Wargs, the Orcs of the White Hand were given large frogs to ride and meet the Rohirrim.
__________________
"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
|
|
11-03-2005, 06:08 PM | #258 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
|
Quote:
I wish that Javert got to enter Middle-earth.
__________________
Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
|
11-04-2005, 12:42 AM | #259 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish we knew what Tom Bombadill and Gandalf talked about when they met.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
11-04-2005, 08:38 AM | #260 | |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
|
Quote:
I wish Legolas had been left in Moria by the Fellowship.
__________________
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
|
11-04-2005, 11:59 AM | #261 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally.
Posts: 500
|
Quote:
Legolas remains in Moria and opens the first Elven Hair Salon for Misunderstood Orcs. With his guidance, the ugly orcs of Moria become beautiful, and everyone realizes that they're not really evil: they just have low self esteem. Cured of this, the orcs become model citizens and eventually open a humane animal shelter for abandoned and injured wargs. I wish Boromir would come back from the dead... as a zombie.
__________________
"Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman. |
|
11-04-2005, 12:07 PM | #262 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish Gandalf would turn some Orcs into spotted toads and fill their gardens with grass snakes, just for a laugh.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
11-04-2005, 12:17 PM | #263 | |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
|
Quote:
I wish Fatty Bolger had been in the movies.
__________________
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
|
11-04-2005, 08:12 PM | #264 | |
Laconic Loreman
|
Quote:
I wish Sauron and Gandalf created a law firm together.
__________________
Fenris Penguin
|
|
11-04-2005, 08:21 PM | #265 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
|
Quote:
Fredegar Bolger corners the camera man during Bilbo's party and tells a whole list of scandlous elf jokes. When Fro-jiah comes to protest Bolger calls him a scene-stealing git and punches him in the mouth. Frodo loses his front teeth during the brawl. And now, instead of the awkward "Galadriel's mirror" scene where Legolas is first in the reflection the movie audience is welcomed by a sight of Fatty Bolger picking his nose and twitching, as it might be an after shock from having tea with that Nazgul. With a gasp of alarm, Frodo loses his balance along with a few more teeth. Upon discovering him, Frodo kills Gollum in a jealous dental-induced rage, and never finds a way into Mordor. I wish, instead of fighting, each confrontation would literally be a "Battle of the Bands"... or Bards for that matter.
__________________
"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
|
|
11-04-2005, 08:44 PM | #266 | ||
Shade of Carn Dûm
|
Quote:
Quote:
I wish that Turin had married Finduilas |
||
11-05-2005, 01:40 AM | #267 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish Beleriand had not been broken in the war of Wrath.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
11-05-2005, 10:02 AM | #268 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
|
Quote:
I wish that Gandalf had turned Grima into a worm.
__________________
Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
|
11-05-2005, 12:13 PM | #269 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish the Witch King's crown was shaped like a hot hat.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
11-05-2005, 01:52 PM | #270 |
Wight
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: the Lepetomaine Gambling Casino For The Insane
Posts: 157
|
zztop
excuse me, I meant zzzap. your wish is granted. the witch-king's crown is now a hot hat. unfortunately, the hat is so hot that whenever he tries to put it on, he drops it on his toes.
I wish that the barrow-downs in the book were replaced by our barrow-downs
__________________
I support...something. |
11-05-2005, 02:09 PM | #271 | |
Energetic Essence
|
Quote:
I wish that the Ring-Wraiths worked for the good guys.
__________________
I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
|
|
11-05-2005, 03:05 PM | #272 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Quote:
I wish Gandalf was not so hated by Denethor.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
11-05-2005, 03:32 PM | #273 | |
Laconic Loreman
|
Quote:
I wish Jackson would have kept Arwen at Helm's Deep
__________________
Fenris Penguin
|
|
11-05-2005, 04:32 PM | #274 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: I don't know. Eastern ME doesn't have maps.
Posts: 527
|
Quote:
Granted. However, to balance this out, Saruman goes to Helm's Deep. Saruman knocks the old man's arrow away from his uruk-hai with staff, like what Gandalf did to Legolas' arrow, and the arrow flies into Arwen's head, killing her. Aragorn is distrought and, unable to lead his forces correctly, Helm's Deep is lost. I wish Legolas got Gimil a box to stand on at Helm's Deep.
__________________
"And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that." -A History of Villains |
|
11-05-2005, 07:53 PM | #275 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 614
|
Quote:
Legolas is a gentle..elf and gives Gimli a box to stand on before the battle of Helms Deep BUT during the intense battle a ladder knocks Gimli off of the box and he suffers from some might Middle Earth back pain. Not only that, but now the invaiding orcs have a cute, bulky-bearded step way down off the wall. Later in the onslaught, the box provided goes flying with explosions (provided) and lands on Snowmane's head and renders the poor Merah unconcious. Snowmane sues Theoden for unsafe working conditions and, with a short but sweet background in how government runs, runs off to Rome (..and Roman times, I guess...)to become Caligua's horse*. *History!: Caligua nearly made his horse a Senator of Rome. (Thankies for the pointer Kitanna!) It is my deepest desire that orcs develop worker unions in the years prior to the War of the Ring.
__________________
"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
Last edited by Valesse; 11-05-2005 at 09:06 PM. |
|
11-05-2005, 09:21 PM | #276 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
|
Quote:
I wish that Sauron was really just an eye.
__________________
Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
|
11-05-2005, 10:44 PM | #277 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: I don't know. Eastern ME doesn't have maps.
Posts: 527
|
Quote:
(Good thing I was wearing my friend's coat) Granted. Eru sees what a wasted creation the eye Sauron is and replaces him with maia named Baal*. Baal* is more effective than Sauron and Morgoth is ruler of Middle-Earth by the time of the War of Wrath. *False god in the Bible. I wish orcs spoke only in Spanish.
__________________
"And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that." -A History of Villains |
|
11-08-2005, 04:48 AM | #278 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
|
Good stuff!
Quote:
I wish Tom Bombadill had a really big hat.
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
11-08-2005, 09:56 AM | #279 | |
Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
|
Quote:
I wish Gimli would seize power and become the king of Gondor.
__________________
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
|
11-08-2005, 02:18 PM | #280 | |
Laconic Loreman
|
Quote:
(sorry couldn't resist the Pythonism) I wish Legolas would share his strawberry scented shampoo.
__________________
Fenris Penguin
|
|
|
|