Middle-Earth Football Tournament

[Sleepy Ranger]

SaucepanMan says too much, and really has no idea what he's doing.

I feel inclined to post that.
I didn't make the squads because most teams wouldn't have enough players. Besides all the players from the actual team are give a Tolkien character at the start of the match (some people are featured more than once to make it 11). And to answer your question here is the Barrow-Downs squad-

--------------------BW---------------------------
--Glirdan----Rune-----Arctic------Firefoot---

-------Fea----------Gil-------------Hiriel-------
------------------Phantom----------------------

----------Sleepy------------Saucepanman---
Its a 4-3-1-2 formation.
Phantom takes free-kicks and left corners, Hiriel takes right corners.
Sleepy takes penalties and Barrow-Wight is the captain.

And of course all the pre and post match things are strictly cannonical. You needn't worry about that.
And I believe you shall find a lot of good humour in some of the writings people have submitted to me. Hats off to everyone who has.

[wilwarin538]

Nice idea Sleepy. When I first saw the title I wasn't to excited, not being a fan of football. But I then realised that for you football is soccer. I love soccer! So ya, I love this idea.

Keep it up!

By the way, Glirdan(in real life) isn't the best at soccer. But Wayne is very good at soccer. You might want to replace Glirdan(for the treams sake of course) with Wayne. (just kidding, I'm just teasing Glirdy)

[Bergil]

I note I'm not on the team, dispite all the "offensive" posts I make.
Where can I find a big-pointing-hand-thingy.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by Bergil

I note I'm not on the team, dispite all the "offensive" posts I make.
Where can I find a big-pointing-hand-thingy.

Offensive posts? O_o
Anyway you can be on the bench and drink tea with dear Fainu!

[Firefoot]

Apparently my virtual left foot is better than my real life one, or else I wouldn't be playing on the left side...

Hopefully the BD team actually gets pretty far in this. That would be exciting.

And kudos to Sleepy for organizing this whole thing. I'll admit, I was a little skeptical at first that this would actually go anywhere, but it's really shaping up.

[Glirdan]

Wow!! This is awsome!! I'm of course rooting for the home team, being a player and all. Wilwa, no offence taken. This is really cool!!! Great idea Sleepy!!

[the phantom]

Nice stuff, Sleepy.

I'm going to give my take on the different groups.

GROUP A

This group looks fairly strong. Mordor would seem to be the favorite. The Dark Lord is an excellent team leader- the rest of the team (Nine Nazgul and The Mouth of Sauron) follow his every command as if they were all one joint body. Sauron and his Nazgul have a nearly psychic connection, which leads to some of the most outstanding passing the world has ever seen. And in goal, they have "The Mouth"- named for his ability to swallow up about any shot attempt at his goal.

Rohan certainly has athleticism and grit, but they can't really stack up against Mordor.

Moria has a dangerous captain (Durin's Bane), but his supporting cast doesn't give him that much help.

The Old Forest has the lightning fast Tom, who no one has ever caught, but his teammates just stand there rooted in the ground leaving him to do everything himself. Against a weaker team Tom can carry the load, but not against the likes of Mordor.

Chances of Winning Group-
Mordor- 91%
Moria- 6%
Rohan- 2%
Old Forest- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- Mordor
Might make semis- Moria
Won't advance any further- Rohan, Old Forest

GROUP B

Rivendell is the obvious pick in this group. Elrond leads a team of powerful elves, including Glorfindel, Elladan, Elrohir, and Erestor.

Vinyamar might be able to stay with Rivendell early, but as we all know, it doesn't take members of the Vinyamar team long to lose interest and desert the team to go someplace like Gondolin.

Arnor has the same problem. They tend to start strong, but then sort of fade away.

The Shire, if it is able to survive the early onslaught, is capable of beating both Vinyamar and Arnor, but I don't think the hobbits can keep up with the elven lords of Rivendell.

Chances of Winning Group-
Rivendell- 92%
Shire- 5%
Vinyamar- 2%
Arnor- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- Rivendell
Might make semis-
Won't advance any further- Shire, Vinyamar, Arnor


GROUP C

In my opinion, The Barrow-Downs will own this group. First, they hold a huge advantage in the realm of strategic thinking. Many of their players have honed this skill by participating in Werewolf games. The Downs also has incredible depth- a roster of several thousand. In addition, many of the Downers will be able to distract opponents with their extreme attractiveness. The Barrow-Downs also can fall back on its fabulous goal keeper, The Barrow-Wight, whose hands are four feet long and four feet wide, and positioned at the end of ten foot arms. It takes some serious work to get something past him. Also, the phantom is nearly always able to win the crowd over to side with the Downs- even if the game is in the other team's stadium.

Valimar and Valmar both have great talent (the Valar), however, their rosters are identical, meaning that the players will have to play twice as many games as everyone else. I can see them being strong for a couple of games, but the teams will really start to go downhill after that. However, if by some miracle either Valmar or Valimar advance out of this group, they will suddenly be very dangerous as they will no longer be pulling double duty.

And Woodhall- do they even deserve discussion? They were only allowed into the tournament out of pity.

Chances of Winning Group-
The Barrow-Downs- 89.5%
Valmar- 5%
Valimar- 5%
Woodhall- 0.5%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- The Barrow-Downs, Valmar, Valimar
Might make semis-
Won't advance any further- Woodhall

GROUP D

Nargothrond has to be the favorite in this division. Before the rosters were announced, I wasn't sure who to pick, Ephel Brandir or Nargothrond, but now that it has been announced that Turin will play for Nargothrond rather than Ephel Brandir, I have to give the elven realm the advantage.

I know Erebor may seem like a great pick because of Smaug, but Turin, who slew the father of dragons, will defeat Smaug head-to-head every time. Also, Smaug tends to get ejected from a lot of games for his horribly mean behavior.

So, while I believe that the Smaug-led Erebor team will roast Mirkwood and Ephel Brandir more handily than Nargothrond will defeat them, I can't see Erebor defeating Turin and Nargothrond.

Chances of Winning Group-
Nargothrond- 81%
Erebor- 15%
Mirkwood- 2%
Ephel Brandir- 2%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- Nargothrond
Might make semis- Erebor
Won't advance any further- Mirkwood, Ephel Brandir

GROUP E

Bree is horribly outmatched in this division. Dale isn't much better off. Belegost is better offensively and defensively than both. And then Numenor- they are as far above Belegost as Belegost is above the other two teams.

The Numenorians are stronger than the dwarves of Belegost and wiser too, but it is their huge height advantage that will seal the deal. The players from Numenor will all have an unobstructed view of the field, and they will be able to head-strike any ball in the air without interference. The Numenorians should be able to use their heads to take the ball all the way down the field, where they can then pop the ball over the dwarvish goal keeper, who is unable to guard the upper portion of the goal.

I definitely think Numenor has a clear path to win their group, however, I don't think Numenor has any chance of going all the way to the championship. There are several teams with better talent than them, and they won't stand a chance if matched against either Mordor or Tol-In-Gauroth, who are both likely to advance out of their groups. They don't stand a chance against those two teams because of the Sauron factor. He has the Numenorian's number.

Chances of Winning Group-
Numenor- 86%
Belegost- 8%
Dale- 5%
Bree- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way-
Might make semis- Numenor
Won't advance any further- Belegost, Dale, Bree

GROUP F

Goblin-town is sure to lose all of its day games. This is too great a disadvantage to overcome. You can write them off.

Isengard's orcs don't have this problem, and with Saruman leading them they are certainly formidable. But I think Doriath, led by King Thingol and the fine goal-scoring duo of Mablung and Beleg, is a bit better than Isengard.

But my pick to win this group is Tol-In-Gauroth. Sauron is one of the best players in the tournament, and his strong and agile werewolves have not only excellent physical skills, but also an intimidation factor that simply cannot be overlooked. Tol-In-Gauroth will win their group.

That said, I wouldn't pick Tol-In-Gauroth to advance farther than the semis in the overall tournament- not unless it picks up another star player. Sauron tried his best to convince the phantom to defect, but Phantom chose to stick with his fellow downers.

However, if for some reason team chemistry is destroyed and there is a falling out between the phantom and the managers of the Downs team, expect Phantom to switch over to the Tol-In-Gaurhoth team- a move that might make the Gauroth team the favorite to win the title. But at this point, I can't see that happening.

Chances of Winning Group-
Tol-In-Gauroth- 80%
Doriath- 12%
Isengard- 7%
Goblin-Town- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way-
Might make semis- Tol-In-Gauroth, Doriath
Won't advance any further- Isengard, Goblin-Town

GROUP G

This group is a very very weak group. There are several teams in other groups that will not win their group but would've won this group had they been placed here. In my opinion it is rather unfair that one of these four teams will get a spot in the final eight while other more worthy teams sit out.

Lothlorien has Galadriel, but as people will soon find out she is mostly hype. And even was she as good as she wishes she was, she doesn't have much help.

Crickhollow's team is laughable. Most of their players are overweight and timid.

Alqualonde is a somewhat solid team. They are probably better at most positions than Lothlorien, so I can see them winning that match up. However, if they advance out of this group, don't expect them to go any further, especially if they run into a team with a Noldor or two playing for them.

Fangorn is the only somewhat dangerous team in this group. If they get "roused", they can play an awfully good game, but the problem is I don't imagine they will be able to rouse themselves in time to avoid elimination. And even if they do manage to get charged up and advance out of this group, you know they'll probably just go back to sleep in the next round.

Chances of Winning Group-
Alqualonde- 50%
Lothlorien- 30%
Fangorn- 19%
Crickhollow- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way-
Might make semis-
Won't advance any further- Alqualonde, Lothlorien, Fangorn, Crickhollow

GROUP H

Group H is an extremely competitive group. The Grey Havens isn't particularly good, but the other three teams all have a shot.

Gondolin has an amazing offense. Turgon takes the center, and Glorfindel and Ecthelion take the flanks. Maeglin and Tuor are aggressive mid-fielders and often come all the way up with Turgon to put pressure on the goal.

Gondor also has an aggressive offense. Providing the firepower is Aragorn, Faramir, Boromir, and Imrahil.

In my opinion, Gondolin has the edge over Gondor.

But the favorite would have to be Angband. Morgoth is a clever strategist, and his balrogs and dragons carry out his designs with ruthless efficiency. Their game one loss to Gondor was a fluke. I can't see them getting shut out in any more games.

Chances of Winning Group-
Angband- 71%
Gondolin- 17%
Gondor- 11%
Grey Havens- 1%

If they win their group, they...
Could go all the way- Angband
Might make semis- Gondolin, Gondor
Won't advance any further- Grey Havens

[Orominuialwen]

Even if they had nothing else on their side, the Barrow-Downs team would always have their extremely stylish and attractive jerseys. (Please note that I didn't draw the jersey, just photoshopped the logo on to a picture I found.)

[Sleepy Ranger]

Art-strip for the World-Cup - Drawn and written by Valesse
Rohan vs. Moria - Drawn and written by Valesse

Riots in Angaband
-Arcticstorm

Riots erupted in the forums today after Angband was soundly defeated by the virtually unknown team from Gondor. Five fans were killed in the riots immediately after the game. The Center Referree, Boromir88, recieved many death threats from irate fans who are angry over the red carding of their best player. Boromir told us that this does not suprise him much, as he has gotten these threats before and nothing usually materializes, but he said he was a little worried about the arrows being shot at him by the Angband fans during the game. One fan when asked about his reaction to the red card told us that he does not know who they will turn to now. "Perhaps Gothmog," he said, "will fill Melkor's cleats in the next game." But the ref was not the only one recieving the agressions of the fans. The Angband keeper, Glaurung, had to be escorted out of the stadium for his own safety. It has also been said that the Gondor team bus had been completely vandalized and had various orcish writings on them. It has also been said that Faramir, the Gondorian forward who scored the winner, has been poisoned but the coach has denied the claims and said Faramir is in perfect health. The fans though are not willing to believe this since Faramir has not been seen since the match. In Northern Beleriand, the gondorian diplomats had to leave the area under assumed identities for their own safety. We even have reports that the embassy was completely destroyed.

Exclusive Interview with Turgon
Reporter- Rune son of Bjarne

Your Nation highly values your talent, so what do you think of playing for a team with such great cup traditions? Do you feel a lot of pressure each week?

There are only a handful of Nations who is good enough to compete for the title every world cup and Vinyamar is one of them. So I’m proud to be playing at this team. Having this pressure week in week out is a thrill.

Your next game is against Rivendell captained by Elrond, what do you make of his team?

Sure they are talented, no doubt about it, but overall they are just a bit to inexperienced to play at this level.

What do you see as the main difference between your teams?

As I said the experience will be the main factor, lets face it Elrond and his “baby’s” have only really been in this game since the second age. Where as all of my team learned all we know in the first age were there was “real” competition.

How have you prepared for this world cup?

Well as all know started of with a real hard pre-season at the training camp of Helcaraxë, witch really helped us getting close to each other. This was mostly because of the extreme cold, but it really helped us find the right players as those not fit for the game perished. It was however quite disturbing with all the attention from scouts and the media, so we decided to move our practise Nevrast where there are extreme good facilities. Especially our great hall in Vinyamar is good for indoors training and it allow us to train without being watched by spies from other teams.

Could you tell our readers what kind of games they should expect.

Vinyamar always has to win, so it will properly be an aggressive game, but the key to be consistent is a great defence witch the opponent will have difficult braking down. We have different solutions, it depends on the opponent. We can play with a taller central defender like Tuor of Vinyamar with my self and Glorfindel of Vinyamar on the sides. We can play just as well with me or Glorfindel in the central position, or also with the four-man defence.

Is it true you've got a footballing family as your sister plays for Gondolin?

Yes, she's a goalkeeper and she plays for Gondolin’s national team and has done so ever since she was picked for the Gondolin Under-1900 team. She's doing well and I'm proud of her.

Besides your selves who do you see as favourites to lift the cup?

I don’t see anyone beat us, but if I have to choose then it must be Gondolin

Thank you for your time Turgon and best of luck for your match.

Tensions Run High as Rohan, Moria Prepare
-Firefoot

The upcoming game between Rohan and Moria is shaping up to be well-matched game of great interest. Rohan is coming off a strong winning season while Moria, one of the most controversial teams in the tournament, has apparently put its rocky start behind it to take some major wins.

Théoden, Rohan’s captain, seemed confident of his team’s abilities. “We have a good team this year, and we’ve been getting better all season. I don’t see any reason why we can’t win this game. We all have high hopes for this tournament.” Éomer, a Rohan midfielder, seconded Théoden’s statement: “There’s nothing that the Moria team has that we can’t beat. It should be a good game.”

Of more public interest, however, has been the Moria team, an interesting mix of Dwarves, Orcs, and a Balrog. Many sports analysts have agreed that this combination was a large contributor to the team’s poor start this season. Nor is it an issue that has been wholly resolved, as evidenced in an interview.

Moria’s captain, Balin, denied that problems still existed. “We were having a tough time coming together as a team, but we’ve put that behind us and begun winning some games. There’s a lot of talent on this team, and we’re finally putting it all together.” He declined further comment.

Bill, Moria’s Balrog defender, had more to say on the matter, however. “The Dwarves are the ones who always get the credit on this team. It wouldn’t matter if I could play three times as well as the best of the Dwarves on this team; the only reason that I and the couple of Orcs are able to play is because of the fan following; the team wouldn’t be making any revenue if not for the populous Orcs of Moria.” No follow up was able to be gotten from Bill, as he was then needed by a pair of Dwarvish teammates.

Azog, one of the team’s Orcs, seemed reluctant to give any comment, though his disgusted attitude with the Dwarves could not be mistaken. “We’re finally coming together – the Dwarves are finally starting to realize that not all Orcs are just interested in killing each other or aimless pastimes like killing rats for fun. We’re avid strategists and athletes as well – not that many people remember our role in inventing the game of golf. The point is, we should be able to grind the Rohan team into the ground.”

Both teams’ attitudes can accurately be described with Éomer’s closing words: “Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a victorious goal scoring!”

The Result, The Reaction
-Hiriel

Fans across the whole of Middle Earth, Beleriand, and the Undying Lands have been chomping at the bit (some mearas quite literally so) for the first-ever middle-earth football tournament, and now that the first match results are in, it appears as if the excitement is just going to continue to build faster and hotter than an explosion of lava flying out of Mount Doom.

The kickoff match between The Barrow-Downs and Woodhall met with an almost unprecedented sight. The young eagle Landroval reported to us that on his way from the match, “The Downs looked positively radioactive. All the bonfires and unearthly shrieks (I suppose of joy) and such gave it this undulating glow. I mean, you’d of thought there was a bunch of pyro-crazed Brandybucks with lots of dry ice playing tag with banshees down there. I’m glad they won, but when you can hear the after-parties at ten-thousand feet, it’s really a bit much, you know.” The wights at the downs were unavailable or just too spooky for comment, but it’s generally assumed that they’re ecstatic about the end of the match, especially the phenomenal (ph)free kick made by Phantom in second half.

Across Middle-Earth in Gondor, celebrations got a little out of hand after the huge upset over Angband. The city guard reports, upon mustering to combat wonton tee-peeing of statues of Isildur in the first-circle, that one fourth of its reserves had been lost to the massive festivities. At least one suicide is reported in Minas Tirith by an Angbandian supporter, who, in utter despair, lit himself on fire and threw himself off the peak of Mindolluin. However, in Dol Amroth and Emyn Arnen the victory bashes were a little more sedate, though no less joyful. At the latter, huge green banners which read, “Show YOUR Quality”, in honor of the goal scored by town favorite Faramir, could be seen strung from wall to wall as people danced in the streets.

At Lothlorien, many mournful lays could be heard sung over the surprise defeat delt by Crickethollow. Lord Celeborn of Lorien, however, bore the loss with philosophy. “We have all eternity to analyse this one, learn from it, and come back. The hobbits? At the rate they eat, I doubt they have a fortnight. How long do those woodchucks live, anyway?” Supports of Crickethollow seemed unconcerned for their mortality, however, as drinking and dancing reached a peak sometime in the wee hours of the morning, when barmen had to call into Hobbiton for fresh supplies of spirits.

The festivities caused by Mordor’s pull-out victory over the Old Forest became so racous that it caused a company of Rangers to panic and mobilize at the crossroads. Mount Doom erupted in flame, and huge explosions of Orthanc fire could be seen being shot off from Minas Morgul as orcs and Olog-Hai celebrated. “We were very concerned,” Captain Malblung of the ranger company in question said. “We saw all that fire and heard so much screaming that we thought that it alone would rattle the black gate off its hinges. Some folk might poke fun at us marshalling over football results, but what if a company of drunken orcs decided to enjoy the win by beheading some tarks? It’s our job to be prepared for any type of violence and we take this sort of thing seriously.”

And in places bordering Tol-en-Gauroth, in the space of an hour earplugs became a hot commodity. A least four unfortunate villages have been completely wiped out due to post-match jubilation, reports indicate, and no one has any idea how many others have been damaged by the noise pollution from all the howling. The Tol-en-Gauroth team, lead by captain Sauron, were heard rile up the crowd exiting the stadium with the chant, “Takin’ it to the Misty Mountains, mortals!”, and lead to many rock piles being built up and subsequently smashed wherever supports of this wildly popular (and fast growing) club were celebrating.

Today's Fixtures

Game 1 - Moria vs. Rohan
Game 2 - Rivendell vs. Vinyamar
Game 3 - Valmar vs. Valimar
Game 4 - Mikrwoord vs. Erebor
Game 5 - Bree vs. Numenor
Game 6 - Doriath vs. Isengard
Game 7 - Fangorn vs. Alqualondë
Game 8 - Gondolin vs. Grey Havens

Tournament Happenings

Injuries - Thankfully none this week.

Cards -
Melkor (Angaband) recieved a red card and a 2 match suspension.
Dark Lord (Mordor) was given a yellow card.

Most Promising Player - Pippin (Shire) looked solid in the field and never failed to impress once he found his rhythm. After a shaky start he managed to find some motivation and propel his team to the lead.

Most Impressive Team - Both Gondor and Barrow-Downs have shown an excessive sense of team-work and both are in high spirits after their results of yesterdays matches. Though the chances of Gondor going through are minimal their win has definately left them with a feeling that they can go all the way. As for the home team, they were always a favorite.

Reader Response
We encourage our readers to send us letters about their favorite teams, players, matches, goals, referees or whatever else they think of.
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The results shall be up soon. Good job Valesse, Arctic, Rune, Firefoot and Hiriel, hope to see more from you. And if anybody else wishes to write for ME Footy Daily send me a message. Or you could always post random thoughts like the Phantom did.