Be careful what you wish for...

[Farael]

I wish that Samwise Gamgee had killed Shelob instead of just wounding her.

So be it. What Tolkien forgot to mention in LoTR is that Mordor was full of spiders, relatives to Shelob. Even though they weren't as related to mind if someone hurt her a little but, they did mind someone killing Shelob and they attacked Frodo and Sam, got the Ring and one of them became the new Dark Lord and covered the Middle Earth with.... grose spider webs.

I wish Mt. Doom was a huge slurpee machine

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Mt. Doom was a huge slurpee machine

DONE .. and more! When Sauron forges the One ring his is dismayed that he can't take it out for fear of it melting. To fix this he enlist the services of the Cold-miser. All goes well until Isildur shows up with a Super-Soaker filled with hot chocolate.

After dispatching Sauron and claiming his weregild, Isildur is urged by Elrond to travel to the "Mountain of Icy Goodness". At the Sprinkles of Slush, Isildur decides not to throw the ring in and throws Elrond in instead.


I wish that Eowyn would have jumped on the Witch Kings flying steed on stole it from under his nose.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

I wish that Eowyn would have jumped on the Witch Kings flying steed on stole it from under his nose.

Pop! Look there! A hedgehog! And what's more, your wish has been granted!

Eowyn jumps on the fell beast. But then remembers that she had already cut it's head off and therefore it was rather useless. While she messes around with the beast, Merry crawls up behind the witch King and stabs him repeatedly with five different swords, all of which burn. The W-K falls to the ground and even after perishing, Merry continues to stab it.
Merry is taken to an insane asylum and Eowyn dose not lose her blood lust and eventually kills Aragorn.

I wish there were lots of Dwarves at the Battle at the Black Gate.

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish there were lots of Dwarves at the Battle at the Black Gate.

A poem for dear Hookbill:
Several faeries have gotten the flu
Unfortunately they're all sneezing on you.

So there are THOUSANDS of dwarves at the Black Gate now joinning in on that magnificent battle... but the orcs start humming "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho Its off to work we go" and the dwarves start going crazy. Not only is it degrading to them, but it is their song! ...Well, not technically, but it still makes them pretty mad.

So the dwarves go on a rampage and trample Legolas a few times... I'm still debating if that were good or bad, but what is bad is that some of the dwarves can't handle the physical strain that is rampaging. Bombur keels over ontop of several smaller dwarves and they are trapped!

Inadvertantly dwarves are dropping dead all over the place, orcs are singing "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho!" and people are getting squashed by the oliphants that Leg-o-lamb was supposily was suppose to take down. Gandalf trips on a battle ax, Pippin is overwhelmed by shiney objects, and Aragorn has (luckily) found a niche in some rocks where he quivers in the fetal position chanting "Why, Eru? Why?"

I wish Eowyn was a librarian.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Valesse

I wish Eowyn was a librarian.

Grrranted! Eowyn is now a librarian! And when you return a book late she smites you! Little Frodo once returned Dick and Jane two days late and Eowyn strung him up by his pants on a flagpole as an example to others.

I wish Bombur wasn't fat, but a male model.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Bombur wasn't fat, but a male model.

Quoth the raven, "Granted!"
Boromir is a male model. Yep, made of 100% plastic and standing in a rather unflattering pose. He is now a plastic man. Now everyone sings this little song;

Plastic man got no brain,
Plastic man don’t feel no pain,
Plastic people look the same,

Kick his shin or tread on his face,
Pull his nose all over the place,
He can’t disfigure, or disgrace,
Plastic man!

I wish Hobbits were common throughout Middle Earth during the war of the Jewels.

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Hobbits were common throughout Middle Earth during the war of the Jewels.

It's a bird ... It's a plane ... NO It's a ------ WISH!!!

Hobbit's are not only common, they are absolutely everywhere! One cannot throw a rock down - well anywhere without hitting a Hobbit. But I digress ... After the many years of captivity in Angband the people of Brethil begin to feel a great weight of turmoil being levied against them. Much to the dismay of Morgoth's followers, no pressure seems too great. Unbeknownst to them, the Hobbits - with their great numbers - are capable of countering any evil placed upon the descendants of Hurin and Morwen. As such Sauron never forges his One-ring and JRRT has nothing to write about. ..sad ...


I wish ... Godzilla was a character in ME