Be careful what you wish for...

[The Elf-warrior]

I wishDenetor[sic] died at an early ae[sic] and Faramir was raised by gandalf[sic] alone and he still defended ithilien[sic] because gandalf[sic] wanted him too[sic] but because gandalf[sic] was supportive he didnt[sic] mess up out of fear of offending his father...or step father[sic] as it were

Your wish is granted. The flip side of this is that Boromir lived with Saruman until he was 21. Then he assumed the powers of the office of Steward. Before that Imrahil was regent. After Boromir came to Minas Tirith he stayed in touch with Saruman via the palantir. Instead of Boromir Glorfindel was chosen as a member of the Fellowship of the Ring and accompanied Frodo all the way to Mt. Doom and threw him into the volcano when he refused to destroy the Ring. The rest of the Fellowship worked to rouse the Ents to destroy Saruman, save Rohan, and overthrow his puppet Boromir, who had crowned himself King of Gondor. They succeeded but it was years before Aragorn's Kingship was universally acknowledged.

I wish Denethor was a famous charcoal maker.

[arcticstorm]

your wish is granted
Denethor is now the best charcoal maker in middle earth and the most famous one. In fat he developed self-combusting charcoal and used it in Faramir and his pyre, thus Faramir was killed before Gandalf could save him and the line of stewards perished.

I wish Feanor had made a dozen silmarills

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by arcticstorm

I wish Feanor had made a dozen silmarills

Granted. However, when Morgoth steals them he makes a huge iron crown and so has to take on an even larger shape. Thangorodrim is now five times larger and unassailable even by the Valar. So Morgoth is still there in Bilbo's time and Smaug is forced to work for Morgoth instead of treasure hunting. Most of the Hobbits are killed in the seconded battle of sudden flame (shire reckoning 1418). But on the plus side, Sauron does not make the One ring until much, much later on, when Melkor gets bored and goes to Manwe saying, "I'm sorry."

I wish Tom Bombadill spent more time in the Shire after the War of the Ring.

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Tom Bombadill spent more time in the Shire after the War of the Ring.

Sure thing!

Tommy B opens up a health food store, which soon turns into the largest retail chain in all of Middle Earth. Soon his buying power brings all his suppliers to their knees and forces them to outsource most of their capital to "foreign" shores. This in turns lowers the prices at his stores but also lowers the standard of living for most of the inhabitants of Middle Earth. This importing greatly increases the wealth of the foreign nations, which in turn allow them to increase their national budgets on such necessities as "defense". In time these foreign nations grow jealous of Middle Earth and wage war upon it. By now, of course, all "great" warriors have either passed on or out of Middle Earth and Tom - as we know really isn't interested in such turmoil - is "powerless". Middle Earth is destroyed by the overzealous greed of those "executives" in charge by the very entities they were trying to eliminate.


I wish that when Gimli blew the horn of Helm Hammerhand, that the sound would have been the infamous BROWN note.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish that when Gimli blew the horn of Helm Hammerhand, that the sound would have been the infamous BROWN note.

Your wish is granted. The brown note resounds around Helms Deep and all through Rohan! However, as all should know, the Brown note is one of the twelve forbidden notes and when ever anyone hears it, their ears bleed until their brains ooze out of their faces. So all the Orcs are defeated. But so are all the Men of Rohan, including Aragorn Legolas and Gimli. Minas Tirith falls. An Orc wears Denethor's coat.

I wish Bilbo and Gollum had become friends in the Misty Mountains.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Bilbo and Gollum had become friends in the Misty Mountains.

Your wish is granted. What brought them together was Bilbo's love of sushi. After the quest of Erebor they opened up a sushi resturant in Bree. But Bill Ferny was suspicious as to why Smeagol never seemed to get a day older and gave a tip to White Hand Inc. about this mystery. On a hunch Saruman rode to Bree and robbed Smeagol of the One Ring. But he ended up being besieged by Sauron but the Ents and Huorns attacked both Sauron and Saruman. After Saruman refused to surrender Gandalf led an assault through the windows of Orthanc. After they succeeded Frodo was made Ringbearer and with his faithful companion Sam went into Mordor. But at Mt. Doom Frodo claimed the Ring and threw Sam into the volcano and went with the Nazgul to Barad-Dur in imagined triumph. But Sauron snatched the Ring and became the undisputed master of Middle-earth for centuries.

I wish that Saruman was a TV infomercal titan.

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish that Saruman was a TV infomercal titan.

... zap ... <----- it's done!
Going by his alias "Saruman", Ron Popeil starts out selling the lowly Vegomatic, which turns into a cultural sensation. He follows this up with other fantastic ideas such as the Pocket Fisherman, Mr. Microphone and the Smokeless Ashtray. Of Course these minor inventions were just a stepping-stone on his way to total domination on Middle Earth. The Vegomatic he turns into a machine to convert trees into steel for weapons. The Pocket Fisherman morphs into the great phalanx his orcs use against the Cavalry. Mr. Microphone becomes the standard equipment carried by all the Nazgul. And the Smokeless Ashtray is used to imprison the Army of the Dead!

I wish that Ghan-Buri-Ghan would have spoken with an asian accent!

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

I wish that Ghan-Buri-Ghan would have spoken with an asian accent!

If that's what you really want, so be it. But now, Theoden could not understand what Ghan-Buri-Ghan was saying and instead of getting Ghan-Buri-Ghan's help, Theoden looses his patience and spends the rest of the day chasing the wild men rather than rushing into battle. By the time he gets to Gondor, the city has been taken by Sauron and now it's called Mordor Jr.

I wish the hobbits were even more furry than what they already are

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish the hobbits were even more furry than what they already are

Granted. They become huge balls of fur that go around Middle Earth eating things. Including Orcs. So the Gondorians try to use them to defeat Mordor, but the Hobbits Eat the Gondorians instead. Strange.

I wish Gandalf had found the two blue Wizards and forced them to come back and help out.

[Morsul the Dark]

Oh those two blue wizards come back to help unfortunateky we relize why they left in the first place they are overly weak and cowardly and in an effort to sve themselves kill frodo then take the ring to sauron and sauron rules the world.




I wish that Boromir had lived and helped fight in minas tirith and therefore won and faramir was not forced to almost commit suicide and that denetor loved them bot equally and that he perished in his fire once he relized ow he had wasted his life.

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Morsul the Dark

I wish that Boromir had lived and helped fight in minas tirith and therefore won and faramir was not forced to almost commit suicide and that denetor loved them bot equally and that he perished in his fire once he relized ow he had wasted his life.

Remember that coupon in your back pocket? Yeah, well guess what its good for?

Boromir did not die near Rauros, but went on fighting and being brave and the such. Nothing much more interesting about him happens until the posse gets to Minas Tirith unless you count those bothersome arrows sticking out of him, Treebeard mistaking him for an enting and that fiasco involving him falling face down in mud at Helms Deep.

Denethor was upset and weepy about the Horn of Gondor being broken, so Faramir was in the same boat, nearly being burned alive by a hysterical father with an inexplicible love for woodwinds. Boromir, not Pippin, bravely storms in the moment that the blaze is set and rushes to free Faramir from his flame-broiled fate only to be caught in an explosive burst issued from Denethor when he suddenly reliezed that he had wasted his life. Thus catching those pesky arrows sticking out of Boromir on fire and then later killing him for good.

I wish dwarves were very deeply interested and a part of the art of interperative dance.

[Morsul the Dark]

Originally Posted by Valesse

I wish dwarves were very deeply interested and a part of the art of interperative dance.

So Gimli is the most prominent of these dancers whck makes him a nimble and strong fighter and he destroys the orcs at Helm's deep unfortunately he is also very very snobbish and when he catches legolas lkaughing at his interpretive dance move he intreprets what would happen if he killed an elf...so legolas goes bye-bye

I wish that Sam lived in Japan and became the Iron Chef Shire but the quest was still completed and sam cooked at aragorn's wedding and everyone loved the food(that wasn't posionous).

[Farael]

I wish that Sam lived in Japan and became the Iron Chef Shire but the quest was still completed and sam cooked at aragorn's wedding and everyone loved the food(that wasn't posionous).

And that's exactly what happened. The only little sidenote I'm afraid I'll have to add is that they loved it SO MUCH that they started fighting over who loved it more. One of this arguments involved Aragorn and his new wife, who decided to fill for a divorce, getting half of Gondor for herself in the process. Yet all the men of Gondor, faithful to their king decide to move to Aragorn's city, while all the women decide to follow their queen into her own city. As men and women loose contact they can't have any Gondorian kids and as men are mortal, even the men of Gondor, sooner or later they become extint because of lack of reproduction.

I wish The Ring had actually been a Silmaril

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish The Ring had actually been a Silmaril

** TADA **

When the One-Ring was "lost" in the river Anduin it called out to the other great jewel which was "lost" in the waters of Middle Earth. Out from the sea and up from the Bay of Belfalas the Silmaril that Maglor cast away made it's way up the river like a salmon (albeit a salmon that takes thousands of years to spawn!). By the time Deagol found it the two had melded into one.

For the next couple hundred of years Earendil is forced to helplessly watch as these "buffoons" (his words not mine) possess the most wonderous of any object. The Silmaril/One-Ring or "Knuckle Duster" as it was known would be in the keep of some most unusual creatures, but Kadie was always her own master.

Most events went to plan until the day she realized that the furballs were going to throw her into the pit of despair. With this she musters all her malice and calls upon the only person capable of saving her. MacGyver shows up at the cracks of doom and uses bubble gum and a paper clip to foil the hairballs plan and claims Kadie as his own!

At this very moment she unleashes her most terrible plan. She warps Mac into a withering old man with her stories of her childhood and how much her gout hurts and why does he wheeze at night when he sleeps and nag nag nag blah blah blah.

To stop the endless blather, Mac does the only thing a reasonable man of his ability would do - he blows up Middle Earth!!

I wish the "heat-mizer" and "cold-mizer" were characters in middle earth

[Ordimor]

Bogus! I'd hate to think I killed this thread

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

Bogus! I'd hate to think I killed this thread

Well, I'm still checking it out from time to time, but I have no idea how to grant your wish as I don't know what the heat/cold-mizer are! Perhaps you could consider wishing something else?

[arcticstorm]

your wish is granted, heat-mizer and cold-mizer are now middle earthen, Cold-mizser moved to mordor and froze Mt. Doom making the destruction of the ring impossible.

[Kitanna]

And your wish arcticstorm?

[arcticstorm]

oops, every time I post here I forget and usually edit before someone catches.
I wish that the Uruks captured Frodo, Grishnakh found the ring, and became the new Dark Lord

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Farael

Well, I'm still checking it out from time to time, but I have no idea how to grant your wish as I don't know what the heat/cold-mizer are! Perhaps you could consider wishing something else?

Farael, they are cartoon characters from the mid 70's American Christmas movie "The Year Without A Santa Claus". It's truly a classic done in the Rankin/Bass tradition.

Synopsis IMDB - "Mrs. Claus tells us about the time Santa had a bad cold and decided to take a vacation from Christmas. Two of his elves, Jingle Bells and Jangle Bells decided to go out (with Vixen) to find children to convince Santa that the Christmas spirit is still important to everybody else. But they have to get past Heat Miser and Snow Miser, first, before they land in Southtown, USA, where it never snows for Christmas. But the Miser Brothers can't agree to let it snow in Southtown. But Mrs. Santa knows their mom--Mother Nature."

The two characters are quite outrageous. I'd recommend it to anyone.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by arcticstorm

I wish that the Uruks captured Frodo, Grishnakh found the ring, and became the new Dark Lord

POOF! Grishnakh is the new Dark Lord. And what a Dark Lord he is. He makes Gollum his second in command, but this doesn't going over well because Gollum is always trying to cut off Grishnakh's hand while he's sleeping. So sick of it Grishnakh feeds Gollum to a pack of wild Hobbits.

I wish Tom Bombadil had kept the Ring when Frodo offered it.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Tom Bombadil had kept the Ring when Frodo offered it.

Your wish is granted. However, he doesn’t think it’s a very good ring and one day sells it to some passing Black Riders. Middle Earth falls in a bout of flame and Tom is the only survivor and wanders the desolate globe alone. He eventually goes Mad and by the modern era has written a book called "The Lord of the Rings" under a different name, of course.

I wish Gondolin had not been destroyed.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Gondolin had not been destroyed.

Your wish is granted. Instead it was turned into a gigantic Orc nursery.

I wish that Samwise Gamgee had killed Shelob instead of just wounding her.

[Farael]

I wish that Samwise Gamgee had killed Shelob instead of just wounding her.

So be it. What Tolkien forgot to mention in LoTR is that Mordor was full of spiders, relatives to Shelob. Even though they weren't as related to mind if someone hurt her a little but, they did mind someone killing Shelob and they attacked Frodo and Sam, got the Ring and one of them became the new Dark Lord and covered the Middle Earth with.... grose spider webs.

I wish Mt. Doom was a huge slurpee machine

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish that Samwise Gamgee had killed Shelob instead of just wounding her.

ALAKAZAM! With Shelobs' death, the moth population in Mirkwood begins to explode. The moths begin to form such large flocks that they begin to migrate. During one of these migrations, a flock is flying over the Misty Mountains at the same time as a group of Crebain. A bolt of lightning later and Middle Earth is facing one the most devious beings ever conceived, MOTHRA!!!

I wish that Elrond would have pushed Isildur into Mount Doom!


DUH< UH Nevermind!!!

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Mt. Doom was a huge slurpee machine

DONE .. and more! When Sauron forges the One ring his is dismayed that he can't take it out for fear of it melting. To fix this he enlist the services of the Cold-miser. All goes well until Isildur shows up with a Super-Soaker filled with hot chocolate.

After dispatching Sauron and claiming his weregild, Isildur is urged by Elrond to travel to the "Mountain of Icy Goodness". At the Sprinkles of Slush, Isildur decides not to throw the ring in and throws Elrond in instead.


I wish that Eowyn would have jumped on the Witch Kings flying steed on stole it from under his nose.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

I wish that Eowyn would have jumped on the Witch Kings flying steed on stole it from under his nose.

Pop! Look there! A hedgehog! And what's more, your wish has been granted!

Eowyn jumps on the fell beast. But then remembers that she had already cut it's head off and therefore it was rather useless. While she messes around with the beast, Merry crawls up behind the witch King and stabs him repeatedly with five different swords, all of which burn. The W-K falls to the ground and even after perishing, Merry continues to stab it.
Merry is taken to an insane asylum and Eowyn dose not lose her blood lust and eventually kills Aragorn.

I wish there were lots of Dwarves at the Battle at the Black Gate.

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish there were lots of Dwarves at the Battle at the Black Gate.

A poem for dear Hookbill:
Several faeries have gotten the flu
Unfortunately they're all sneezing on you.

So there are THOUSANDS of dwarves at the Black Gate now joinning in on that magnificent battle... but the orcs start humming "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho Its off to work we go" and the dwarves start going crazy. Not only is it degrading to them, but it is their song! ...Well, not technically, but it still makes them pretty mad.

So the dwarves go on a rampage and trample Legolas a few times... I'm still debating if that were good or bad, but what is bad is that some of the dwarves can't handle the physical strain that is rampaging. Bombur keels over ontop of several smaller dwarves and they are trapped!

Inadvertantly dwarves are dropping dead all over the place, orcs are singing "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho!" and people are getting squashed by the oliphants that Leg-o-lamb was supposily was suppose to take down. Gandalf trips on a battle ax, Pippin is overwhelmed by shiney objects, and Aragorn has (luckily) found a niche in some rocks where he quivers in the fetal position chanting "Why, Eru? Why?"

I wish Eowyn was a librarian.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Valesse

I wish Eowyn was a librarian.

Grrranted! Eowyn is now a librarian! And when you return a book late she smites you! Little Frodo once returned Dick and Jane two days late and Eowyn strung him up by his pants on a flagpole as an example to others.

I wish Bombur wasn't fat, but a male model.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Bombur wasn't fat, but a male model.

Quoth the raven, "Granted!"
Boromir is a male model. Yep, made of 100% plastic and standing in a rather unflattering pose. He is now a plastic man. Now everyone sings this little song;

Plastic man got no brain,
Plastic man don’t feel no pain,
Plastic people look the same,

Kick his shin or tread on his face,
Pull his nose all over the place,
He can’t disfigure, or disgrace,
Plastic man!

I wish Hobbits were common throughout Middle Earth during the war of the Jewels.

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Hobbits were common throughout Middle Earth during the war of the Jewels.

It's a bird ... It's a plane ... NO It's a ------ WISH!!!

Hobbit's are not only common, they are absolutely everywhere! One cannot throw a rock down - well anywhere without hitting a Hobbit. But I digress ... After the many years of captivity in Angband the people of Brethil begin to feel a great weight of turmoil being levied against them. Much to the dismay of Morgoth's followers, no pressure seems too great. Unbeknownst to them, the Hobbits - with their great numbers - are capable of countering any evil placed upon the descendants of Hurin and Morwen. As such Sauron never forges his One-ring and JRRT has nothing to write about. ..sad ...


I wish ... Godzilla was a character in ME

[Farael]

I wish ... Godzilla was a character in ME

*Godzila (the movie) theme song starts playing*
And so it was, that somewhere around the year 1300 (SR) a new creature appeared out of the blue. This creature was to be the first of the youngest children of Eru. Yes you heard me right. First came the elves, with their eternal life and beauty. Then came the men with the gift from Eru. But what very few of us know is that then came Godzila. Yet, just like what happened with Men and Morgoth, Sauron was the first to find these new creatures and quickly realized the were even better than Dragons. He promised them the one thing they didn't have (good looks) and soon, countless armies of Godzileren (plural of Godzila) were sent out to conquer Middle Earth. Surely enough the combined armies of Gondor, Rohan, Lothlorien, Mirkwood and even The Shire (with their batallions of excesively furry hobbits) were defeated and a new blackness covered the world.

I wish.... I wish Frodo had had a cellular phone when he went into Mordor

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Frodo had had a cellular phone when he went into Mordor

Dun-dun-DONE!!!! It is done.
He has a cellular (or mobile) telephone in Mordor. Unfortunately, as the Orcs are searching him in Cirath Ungol, it goes off and they stamp on it. The sparks that fly from it hit a curtain that starts to burn, so the Orcs tear it down to try and put it out. One Orc catches fire and runs screaming out of the tower window and lands on a passing Nazgûl. The Nazgûl then sets on fire and starts screeching which brings all the others to the area. Soon they all catch fire and speed off in random directions. The Witch King falls in Minas Morgul that then burns to the ground damming the water. The water eventually bursts through the ruins of Morgul and floods most of Ithilian. It so happened that the missing Oliphant was swept up and fell in Osgiliath where it went on a rampage and ran to Pelenor fields and then on to Minas Tirith where it broke the walls and ate most of the inhabitants.
While in Minas Tirith, Pippin saw the Oliphant and warned Gandalf who decided to fit rockets to the tower of Ecthelion and when the beast arrived, many were blasted off towards the safety of the Shire. Unfortunately, again, the tower blew up the Shire and everyone in it.
And by the way, Frodo destroyed the ring but found that the rest of Middle Earth was destroyed already...

I wish Bombadill had given all the Hobbits Yellow boots!

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Bombadill had given all the Hobbits Yellow boots!

Your completely fashionable wish has been granted!

Good old Tom gives the four Hobbits their very own yellow boots! What a pity the fashion conscious Eye of Barad-Dur sees all that mismatches. Seeing the yellow boots that clash horribly with Frodo's cloak. So the Nazgul swoop in and flog the offenders and the Ring is taken where it matches perfectly with the Eye's monocle.

I wish Eomer was a famous composer and wrote an Opera entitled "The Thing I Found in my Boot"

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Eomer was a famous composer and wrote an Opera entitled "The Thing I Found in my Boot"

Your Faerie Godmother is very pleased that you helped remind those Kappas of their place... you know... "Sleeping with the fishies" so she has agreed to grant your request.

Eomer becomes a famous composer because of his -spectacular- "The Thing I Found in my Boot". Turns out, funny enough, it was a stick of dynamite which was planted there by a perticularlly cunning orc.

As it is important to give details about said opera, I will not leave you hanging. In all it is a love story between Eomer and Nazzog, a lonely yet lovely orkish wench with nothing but the clothes on her back, her back, her extentive collection of scalps and her broken heart. They meet after a battle on the Westfold and it's love at first battle-cry. Toward the end of the play you learn that her brother, Kurumkush, was responsible for the murder of Eomer's best friend and their beautiful relationship falls to pieces... falls to pieces when one of the Orkish warriors (who Nazzog rejected for Eomer) puts dynamite in Eomer's boot.

Not only does this story bring a tear to the eyes of some wishy-washy goblins; it confuses the heck out of the orcs.. (Orkish women..?) but probably worst of all... it was a real bit of dynamite... and it was live.

I wish that orcs were employed as security guards at "Arda Airlines"

[Farael]

I wish that orcs were employed as security guards at "Arda Airlines"

Be careful with what you say because I saw Melkor around here and.... oh, no... it's too late now!

And so it was that Morgoth had his newest idea. Not only he created airports, but also delayed flights, cheap seats in which you cannot sleep and turbulences. Yet the final touch was still missing. When the free people of the Middle Earth were already getting used to the inconveniences of flight, Morgoth unveiled his latest evil. Orkish security guards! Relentless and naturaly violent, orks were just about the perfect match for the job. They enjoyed displeasing passangers in any way possible, whether that may be checking their bags.... or the dreaded cavity search (and I'm not talking about people's teeth)

I wish Feanor had named Melkor with a more cheerful name... something like "butterfly"

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Feanor had named Melkor with a more cheerful name... something like "butterfly"

When this wish hits 88 mph, you're going to see some serious ...... woooosh .... GRANTED!


When the first dark lord, Melkor, slew Finwe and took the Silmarils, Feanor petitioned the Valar to make war. The Valar would not allow this and refused to budge from there position. Feanor then "challenged" the Valar to a contest. If he should win, then the Valar would not stop him and his followers in pursuit. If he lost, then it was over. Morgoth - as Feanor now called Melkor - was his blood enemy and he must have his revenge!

The contest was one never heard of before. Feanor would go head - to - head against any one Valar of their choosing, but they must choose before hearing what the contest was. They choose Tulkas. For the contest, the combatants would have to sit across from each other and make no emotional gestures. If you did, you lost. During this time they were allowed to say anything they wanted.

Tulkas was allowed to go first. He questioned Feanor about his family. He asked if his people were so great, then why weren't they able to drive Morgoth back as he did. Feanor was ready to bust inside but remained poised in appearance. He answered that all things happen for some reason.

Now it was Feanor's turn. He first glared intently at Tulkas, and then whispered into his ear.
Do you know what I think of Morgoth? Feanor asked.
No Tulkas replied.
Butterfly!

Tulkas laughed!!!

Feanor won and was allowed to pursue Morgoth.

His little name for Morgoth would always be his and Tulkas' little joke.


I wish that the Entwives would have been at the battle of Isengard.

[Gil-Galad]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

I wish that the Entwives would have been at the battle of Isengard.

Your wish is granted, but alas, the Entwives mocked how the Ents did the battle and they loss, and Saruman regained power and destroyed Rohan



I wish that The Evil Men were more victorious

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Gil-Galad

I wish that The Evil Men were more victorious

This time I shall grant your wish myself.
When the soon to be King Eleassar approached the fleet of Evil Men that was heading to Minas Ithil thorugh the river, followed by the army of the dead he was surprised to find that all the Evil Men had bought replicas of his sword on E-Bay. Using such powerful swords they were not afraid of the army of the dead nor the now-never-to-be-king Eleassar and defeated them. Later they reached Minas Ithil and destroyed it to the last hut.

I wish Theoden had survived the battle and lived a long and prosperous life

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Theoden had survived the battle and lived a long and prosperous life

<<< It is done! >>>

In the Druadan Forest, Ghan-Buri-Ghan reveals the great secret of the Woses to Theoden: the Adamantium Fern. Found growing on ancient stone statues and woven into cloth, the material is similar to mithril - except it's pink.

The crafty Theoden trades some shiny beads for a set of Adamantium Fern underwear.

During the battle of the Pelennor Fields, the Witch-king of Angmar assails Theoden. His steed, Snowmane, rears and is struck by a dart. Snowmane falls to the ground, crushing Theoden underneath him. With the weight of his now dead horse holding him down, it would take quick thinking or great chance to survive.

Possessing both qualities enables Theoden to wield Herugrim and slay the Fell-beast and buck its master when it, carelessly believing that Theoden was fatally crushed, moves in for the final kill. In happy disbelief, Eowyn and Merry realize that the King is not dead and help him out from under his steed.

By now, the Witch-king has regained himself and moved in to attack. Theoden holds his ground in defiance which surprises the Lord of the Nazgul. His blows bounce off the wily King as if they're whispers. The Witch-king then pronounces to the Lord of the Mark that no Man may kill him.

Theoden then announces that he is no man. With this he uncloaks to reveal his underwear and proclaims that "I am no man, I am a fancy lad!" With this, the Witch-kings head explodes and is completely vanquished.

After this battle concludes and Sauron is defeated at the Battle of the Morannon, Theoden abdicates his throne to Eomer. He then turns his talents to his newest passion - lavish theatrical productions. With his signature pink overtones, Theoden becomes the embodiment of a kinder, gentler Middle Earth.