Be careful what you wish for...

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish that when Arwen goes to Gondor after the end of the war of the Ring, she has gained LOTS of weight

Lots of weight, you say?

Does a tonne sound about right?

So Arwen shows up in Gondor with an extra tonne. However, Elves don't getter fatter when they get heavier, merely denser. Therefore, Arwen LOOKED the same, so Aragorn didn't notice anything- until their wedding day, when she jumped into his arms for him to carry across the threshold of the citadel.

It was a disaster. Aragorn broke both arms, as well as his back, rendering him a paraplegic- thus leaving the care of the realm to Faramir. Arwen was too embarrassed to ever appear in public again. Elrond and the other Elves were mortally embarrassed as well, disappearing in the night, and thus not allowing Elrond and Arwen to have their poignant good-bye.

I wish Galadriel had a mustache....

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Formendacil

I wish Galadriel had a mustache....

Grossly granted.

The Lady Galadriel now has a mustache and upon seeing her the Hobbits have the great idea of starting a Middle-Earth Freak show, including the bearded elf, the greasy king, and Gimli. Of course with the Lady's facial hair, Gimli falls even more in love with her. They run away from the freak show together and elope, one moving to Bree where they can live in peace.

I wish Thorin hadn't died in battle.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Thorin hadn't died in battle.

Woosh! Your wish is granted! Thorin doesn’t die in battle. Instead, he dies of alcohol poisoning at the party the next day. Bilbo is told he died in battle.

I wish Théoden's horse, Snowmane, had eaten the Witch King's steed.

[narfforc]

I wish it was real, apart from the Elves, the filthy Tarks, oh and them tree thingies, and that damn meddling wizard, not forgetting them little rat-men from the north. But above all, I wish that the nice Mr Sauron was still alive

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Théoden's horse, Snowmane, had eaten the Witch King's steed.

It had been a harsh Winter in Rohan, no food for the people, much less for the horses... yet they rode off to battle and to the aid of their allies. The Witch King appears in front of Theoden King and Snowmane seizes the oportunity. While being starved by the famine, the horses of Rohan had learned to eat birds and such little animals, so finding the HUGE animal the Witch King was riding on Snowmane could not stop himself from taking a bite. Then another. Then the other horses came in.... by the end of the day, it was actually Snowmane who defeated the Witch King (not a man, so it's still possible). Unfortunately for Theoden, Snowmane then decided to roll over and lay on his back as he was pretty satisfied and crushed the King under him.

I wish Legolas had been named High King because of a mistake by Gandalf

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Legolas had been named High King because of a mistake by Gandalf

Your wish is granted. But when he announced that he was engaged to Mary-Sue his royal council gave him an ultimatum: either cancel his engagement or abdicate. Legolas abdicated and moved back to Mirkwood with his bride. Aragorn became the new High King. But King Thranduil disinherited Legolas, who moved to Ithilien. He sailed to the Lonely Isle twenty years later after Mary-Sue was killed by a hunter who thought she was a wild cow.

I wish that Turin hadn't married his sister.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish that Turin hadn't married his sister.

Your wish is Richard E Granted.
Instead of marrying his sister, Turin marries himself. This bizarre relationship goes to the extreme when he confronts Glarung and speaks as if he is two people. It goes something like this:

Glaurung: Hail Turin, son of Hurin.

Turin: I'll kill you, wym! Yeah, me too! And then you'll be sorry.

Glaurung: ...

Tutin: Don’t try anything funny, or I'll gut you! He'll do it! He's insane. Don't call me insane! Just try and stop me! All right, that's it! Go on then, see if I care!

Only, slightly worse.

I wish there were Hobbit Tramps in Hobbiton.

[Valesse]

I wish there were Hobbit Tramps in Hobbiton.

I don't even want to know why.

So Hobbiton becomes Harleton and all of a sudden that One hundred and eleventh birthday becomes a -little- bit more exciting. Considering his age and obvious pending heart conditions once Bilbo gives up the ring he drops dead at his little round door (much to the horror of Frodo.)

A huge contravercy starts up about "who murdered Old man Baggins" when the question is raised why Gandalf even goes there in the first place. After a bit of stammering (and giggles from the less desirable crowd) Gandalf explains that he is the Middle Earth version of an anthropologist (not in his words) and even though he was alone with Mr. Baggins had no affect on his untimely end.

Uh-huh. Riiiight.

Of course... with no more Bilbo Frodo feels no need to travel with him and remains in Bag End growing fat and old to the glee of his neighbors. That is... until Gandalf returns to throw the ring into the fire. Now the time has come for Frodo to leave Hobbiton and move to Cricket Hallow.

"B-but what about my one hundred and eleventh birthday!" squeaked the corpulent Frodo Baggins.

Peeking over the hedge Sam hissed back in "Get Rosie to dance!"

I wish Elladan and Elrohir were avid wrestlers with a very poor sense of timing.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish the three Troll's mothers had appeared in The Lord of the Rings for revenge!

Your wish is granted. They came to the Barrow-downs but the Barrow-wight sent them away because he hated Trolls.

I wish that Pippin was an inveterate practical joker.

[Legolas in spandex]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

Your wish is granted. They came to the Barrow-downs but the Barrow-wight sent them away because he hated Trolls.

I wish that Pippin was an inveterate practical joker.

Your wish is granted, but he put a banana peel beneath you as you travel on the mountains of Mirkwood and you slip off and fall to your death.

I wish that there would be a section of LotR where the lady elves dance to R&B

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Legolas in spandex

I wish that there would be a section of LotR where the lady elves dance to R&B

Granted. But no one in the whole of middle Earth likes "R&B" and so all the armies in the whole realm attack them. Sauron decides to join forces with Elrond and Galadriel so that they can flatten them all with a thousand million Orcs with earplugs. Unfortunately, after the music is stopped and the elves destroyed, Sauron turns of the other armies and slaughters them all.
Woe!

I wish Sauron had gone on holiday when Melkor wanted to turn him to his will.