Be careful what you wish for...

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Théoden's horse, Snowmane, had eaten the Witch King's steed.

It had been a harsh Winter in Rohan, no food for the people, much less for the horses... yet they rode off to battle and to the aid of their allies. The Witch King appears in front of Theoden King and Snowmane seizes the oportunity. While being starved by the famine, the horses of Rohan had learned to eat birds and such little animals, so finding the HUGE animal the Witch King was riding on Snowmane could not stop himself from taking a bite. Then another. Then the other horses came in.... by the end of the day, it was actually Snowmane who defeated the Witch King (not a man, so it's still possible). Unfortunately for Theoden, Snowmane then decided to roll over and lay on his back as he was pretty satisfied and crushed the King under him.

I wish Legolas had been named High King because of a mistake by Gandalf

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Legolas had been named High King because of a mistake by Gandalf

Your wish is granted. But when he announced that he was engaged to Mary-Sue his royal council gave him an ultimatum: either cancel his engagement or abdicate. Legolas abdicated and moved back to Mirkwood with his bride. Aragorn became the new High King. But King Thranduil disinherited Legolas, who moved to Ithilien. He sailed to the Lonely Isle twenty years later after Mary-Sue was killed by a hunter who thought she was a wild cow.

I wish that Turin hadn't married his sister.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish that Turin hadn't married his sister.

Your wish is Richard E Granted.
Instead of marrying his sister, Turin marries himself. This bizarre relationship goes to the extreme when he confronts Glarung and speaks as if he is two people. It goes something like this:

Glaurung: Hail Turin, son of Hurin.

Turin: I'll kill you, wym! Yeah, me too! And then you'll be sorry.

Glaurung: ...

Tutin: Don’t try anything funny, or I'll gut you! He'll do it! He's insane. Don't call me insane! Just try and stop me! All right, that's it! Go on then, see if I care!

Only, slightly worse.

I wish there were Hobbit Tramps in Hobbiton.

[Valesse]

I wish there were Hobbit Tramps in Hobbiton.

I don't even want to know why.

So Hobbiton becomes Harleton and all of a sudden that One hundred and eleventh birthday becomes a -little- bit more exciting. Considering his age and obvious pending heart conditions once Bilbo gives up the ring he drops dead at his little round door (much to the horror of Frodo.)

A huge contravercy starts up about "who murdered Old man Baggins" when the question is raised why Gandalf even goes there in the first place. After a bit of stammering (and giggles from the less desirable crowd) Gandalf explains that he is the Middle Earth version of an anthropologist (not in his words) and even though he was alone with Mr. Baggins had no affect on his untimely end.

Uh-huh. Riiiight.

Of course... with no more Bilbo Frodo feels no need to travel with him and remains in Bag End growing fat and old to the glee of his neighbors. That is... until Gandalf returns to throw the ring into the fire. Now the time has come for Frodo to leave Hobbiton and move to Cricket Hallow.

"B-but what about my one hundred and eleventh birthday!" squeaked the corpulent Frodo Baggins.

Peeking over the hedge Sam hissed back in "Get Rosie to dance!"

I wish Elladan and Elrohir were avid wrestlers with a very poor sense of timing.

[Farael]

I wish Elladan and Elrohir were avid wrestlers with a very poor sense of timing.

1...2...3... Granted!! Although it only works in the movie version of what I am about to tell.
The army of the free people of Middle Earth was outside the Black Gates, facing an army that overwhelmed them in sheer numbers. Everything seemed lost when, with a loud "pufft" the ring fell into the fires of Mt. Doom and everything done by Sauron collapsed. The Black Gates caved in and fell into a huge, bottomless pit that had just formed, along with half of the now defeated Sauron's army. For some odd reason the Gondorian army was spared... most of it anyway.
Elladan and Elohir, feeling dissapointed that the battle lasted such little time decided to start one of their random wrestling bouts. At the same time, Aragorn was walking over to the bottomless pit to see what had happened. Elladan grabbed Elohir on a head-lock, Elohir kicked hard and accidentally tripped Aragorn into the bottomless pit. He has not reached the bottom yet. Odds are, he never will. Bottomless, y'know

I wish Sauron had another weakness besides destroying the ring.... I wish he had been terribly alergic to starfish

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Sauron had another weakness besides destroying the ring.... I wish he had been terribly alergic to starfish

Granted, but what a pity there are so few starfish in Mordor. But when the free peoples heard of this they spent all their time trying to find just one starfish. Once they did they had the eagles drop it off on the step of Barad-Dur, thus evil was defeated and a starfish feast ensued.

I wish Gandalf had a split-personality.

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Gandalf had a split-personality.

oh fo' sho.

To the simpathetic Istari Gandalf might be called either Gandalf the Grey.. Gandalf the White.. or Brandon the slightly Desert-Sage.

His many travels into the land of the Shire were riddled with mystery, as he was, quite mysterious personality-wise. None of the hobbits were able to quite pin down what the Big person meant when he would mutter "toddle off and scent your own tea!" for instance... or "Confounded fool! you misplaced my rune-stamp again!" as there was very obviously no one there that he was speaking to.

Being perticularly dominate, Gandalf held his own during Bilbo's adventures and retreated into the Wilder Country when, much to his shame, Brandon decided to act up. In Rivendell Elrond expelled Brandon (and in affect Gandalf) from the Council many a time for loudly humming showtunes to himself.

It was, however, in Moria Brandon and Gandalf were to make their mark on history. Brandon the slightly Desert-Sage, it seemed, had an obsession with collecting antiques and just who would he be without an heirloom from the Second Age? In an act of desperation he pulled Frodo away from the rest of the company by the chain around his neck but tripped over an ill-placed dwarvian flute.

The Fellowship, now hopelessly lost, were overcome by an onslaught of orcs and loud, lingering "Eeeeee!" and pathetic whimpering sounds coming from a very deep ravine.

I wish the Fellowship members were all on a strictly sushi diet.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish the three Troll's mothers had appeared in The Lord of the Rings for revenge!

Your wish is granted. They came to the Barrow-downs but the Barrow-wight sent them away because he hated Trolls.

I wish that Pippin was an inveterate practical joker.

[Legolas in spandex]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

Your wish is granted. They came to the Barrow-downs but the Barrow-wight sent them away because he hated Trolls.

I wish that Pippin was an inveterate practical joker.

Your wish is granted, but he put a banana peel beneath you as you travel on the mountains of Mirkwood and you slip off and fall to your death.

I wish that there would be a section of LotR where the lady elves dance to R&B

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Legolas in spandex

I wish that there would be a section of LotR where the lady elves dance to R&B

Granted. But no one in the whole of middle Earth likes "R&B" and so all the armies in the whole realm attack them. Sauron decides to join forces with Elrond and Galadriel so that they can flatten them all with a thousand million Orcs with earplugs. Unfortunately, after the music is stopped and the elves destroyed, Sauron turns of the other armies and slaughters them all.
Woe!

I wish Sauron had gone on holiday when Melkor wanted to turn him to his will.

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Sauron had gone on holiday when Melkor wanted to turn him to his will.

Going once... going twice... it's... granted!!
Melkor, Morgoth or however you fancy calling him was trying to gather all those who could be bent towards evil around him. His first choice for a second in command was this Maiar who went by the name of Sauron. He was mighty among Maiar yet weaker than Morgoth himself.

When Melkor went looking for him, he found that Sauron had gone for a fishing trip with his friend Varda . With his incredible cunning, Melkor decided to try to make Manwe jealous and convince him to join the dark side to "show them all"

And indeed, the Melkor-Manwe duo did show them all. All of them. Even Eru himself.

I wish Balrogs had spikes like a porcupine

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I wish Balrogs had spikes like a porcupine (Farael)

Wish No. 419 is approved. Morgoth hated what they look like, so much that he smote them all to the ground, and built Enigmas on hang-gliders instead.

The captain of this new force, is of course, Tom Bombadil.

Their singing drove everyone mad. The Music that built the World was irretrievably altered. Eru intervened and destroyed everything, and forgot to exempt himself from his act of destruction.

NOTHING WINS!

I wish Eärnil did not take the challenge of the Witch-King.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I wish Eärnil did not take the challenge of the Witch-King.

He did not accept the challenge. Instead he stayed home and wached how his kingdom declined, the other kings of Middle-Earth started calling him names and teasing him. Not only because he was a chiken and his kingdom was on the brink of destruction, but allso did not get any "action". At one point he could not take it anymore and threw him self in the Anduin.


I wish that Finwe was the greatest tap-dancer ever.