Be careful what you wish for...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Legolas in spandex

I wish that there would be a section of LotR where the lady elves dance to R&B

Granted. But no one in the whole of middle Earth likes "R&B" and so all the armies in the whole realm attack them. Sauron decides to join forces with Elrond and Galadriel so that they can flatten them all with a thousand million Orcs with earplugs. Unfortunately, after the music is stopped and the elves destroyed, Sauron turns of the other armies and slaughters them all.
Woe!

I wish Sauron had gone on holiday when Melkor wanted to turn him to his will.

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Sauron had gone on holiday when Melkor wanted to turn him to his will.

Going once... going twice... it's... granted!!
Melkor, Morgoth or however you fancy calling him was trying to gather all those who could be bent towards evil around him. His first choice for a second in command was this Maiar who went by the name of Sauron. He was mighty among Maiar yet weaker than Morgoth himself.

When Melkor went looking for him, he found that Sauron had gone for a fishing trip with his friend Varda . With his incredible cunning, Melkor decided to try to make Manwe jealous and convince him to join the dark side to "show them all"

And indeed, the Melkor-Manwe duo did show them all. All of them. Even Eru himself.

I wish Balrogs had spikes like a porcupine

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I wish Balrogs had spikes like a porcupine (Farael)

Wish No. 419 is approved. Morgoth hated what they look like, so much that he smote them all to the ground, and built Enigmas on hang-gliders instead.

The captain of this new force, is of course, Tom Bombadil.

Their singing drove everyone mad. The Music that built the World was irretrievably altered. Eru intervened and destroyed everything, and forgot to exempt himself from his act of destruction.

NOTHING WINS!

I wish Eärnil did not take the challenge of the Witch-King.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I wish Eärnil did not take the challenge of the Witch-King.

He did not accept the challenge. Instead he stayed home and wached how his kingdom declined, the other kings of Middle-Earth started calling him names and teasing him. Not only because he was a chiken and his kingdom was on the brink of destruction, but allso did not get any "action". At one point he could not take it anymore and threw him self in the Anduin.


I wish that Finwe was the greatest tap-dancer ever.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

I wish that Finwe was the greatest tap-dancer ever.

Granted. He tap-dances his way into the hearts of all of Middle Earth. Even old Morgoth decides to come and watch him. However, one of the Balrogs gets a little over excited and tries to join him, but only ends up falling on top of him. The Elves get rather annoyed and try to fight Morgoth off. But he consumes them all in fire! Oh dear!

I wish Frodo had found a working London Bus in Mordor.

[JennyHallu]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Frodo had found a working London Bus in Mordor.

Well...I think we could manage that one...

Frodo and Sam are almost run over on their way to Mount Doom by the bus. They decide to take the upper story for novelty and the view, and ride on to Mount Doom in comfort. Unfortunately, they were not the only ones on the bus, and are eaten by some tourist-wargs from the Grey Mountains, who incidentally, went home with some very interesting souvenirs to show their neighbors, as well as a lot of photos of boring flatlands and smokey stuff.

Incidentally, the bus arrived at Mount Doom late.


I wish that Hobbits loved swimming.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I wish that Hobbits loved swimming. (JennyHallu)

Going . . . going . . . granted! Hobbits loved swimming so much, they left their hobbit-holes and built houses on rafts. The sea level rose considerably due to the number of (rotund) Hobbits dwelling on the coast of Middle-earth, and many major ports were inundated.

I wish Balrogs had . . . yellow boots.

(Got ya there for a moment, didn't ya? )