Be careful what you wish for...

[JennyHallu]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Wormtoung had been REALY FAT!

Well I suppose I may be alone in this, but I thought both the idea of Elvish microtext, and "Have a nice day" being written on a sword WAS comic and ironic.

Oh well, I'll grant your wish anyway. *POOF*

Wormtongue was a large beach ball of a man, and resembled nothing so much as a Weeble. Instead of throwing the Palantir out of Orthanc, he threw himself, bouncing cheerfully down the stairs, squishing Gandalf and the company, and floating merrily away upon the waters released by the Ents. Saruman gave him a promotion, and Gandalf&Co. were reinflated only after intensive research and development.

I wish Legolas had been a girl.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

I wish Legolas had been a girl.

Granted. Pity no one could tell the difference.

I wish Galadriel had left Celeborn for Gimli.

[JennyHallu]

I wish Galadriel had left Celeborn for Gimli.

Granted...why else did you think they let Gimli go to Valinor, while poor Celly stayed behind and took care of Lothlorien? Incidentally, Celeborn, in revenge, had a wild fling with Legolass when he finally did catch up with the duo.

I wish Sauron's forces were defeated by Eskimos.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

I wish Sauron's forces were defeated by Eskimos.

Granted. But when it is reported in "The Gondorian Herald" they state; "Eskimos see off Sauron!" But, as we all know, Eskimos prefer to be called 'Inuits' (is that how you spell it?). And so they lay siege to Gondor and leave it in ruins and so take over Middle Earth in the fashion.

I wish Tom Bombadill had a large collection of wigs that he showed to everyone he met.

[JennyHallu]

I wish Tom Bombadill had a large collection of wigs that he showed to everyone he met.

Oh...okay!

Bombadil was so excited about his wig collection, that he enlisted Goldberry as his lovely model, and toured ME in a wagon (painted purple). His proudest sale was a wig based on the luscious locks of Galadrilyn Monroe to Saruman himself, who wore it every day. He looked so ridiculous his orcs deserted him to form a travelling circus and comedy troupe (as they'd always wanted to), and most of the War of the Rings involved waiting around for Frodo to finish up so life wouldn't be so BORING!

I wish the orcs were all armed with...BANANAS! (Do you know what to do when an orc attacks you with a banana?)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

I wish the orcs were all armed with...BANANAS! (Do you know what to do when an orc attacks you with a banana?)

Granted and a half.

The Orcs come charging at the armies of Gondor with great bananas. The Gondorians find this terrible amusing and start rolling around on the floor, laughing themselves into comas. The Orcs get so angry that they begin exploding with rage... literally. The explosion takes out most of south Middle Earth and the north is out of balance and sinks. The Valar plan a party.

I wish Sam had found some taters in Ithilian.

[Celuien]

I wish Sam had found some taters in Ithilian.

Granted. Sam finds taters in Ithilien. Loads of taters, all nice and golden, juicy and crispy. In fact, the best taters ever seen. Even Gollum likes them. He decides to set up shop in Ithilien with a fish 'n chips stand and stays there with Gollum as head waiter. In time, even Sauron hears of Sam's legendary taters and comes to visit. He is so entranced by the flavor that he renounces Dark Lording and nastiness in favor of nice crispy chips, ushering in a new era of peace and prosperity for Middle-earth.

I wish Morgoth had turned out to be a tree-hugging hippy.