Be careful what you wish for...

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish a Barrow Wight had decided to be good and helped Frodo out on the adventure.

1-2-3. Granted. A Barrow Wight decides to help Frodo on the adventure. As this is a particularly influential Barrow Wight, all of the other Wights follow to help Frodo. This is quite beneficial for the Hobbits on the Quest; however, since Tom Bombadil no longer has an audience for his poetry with the Downs deserted, he goes insane and rampages through the Shire shouting poems, leading the the discovery that Bombadil was, in fact, e.e. cummings in disguise.

I wish the Ringwraiths had crossed the Bruinen successfully.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Celuien

I wish the Ringwraiths had crossed the Bruinen successfully.

That they do! Unfortunately (for them) they do it five years too late and miss the War of the Ring.

I wish Sauron had a small dog, called Jim.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Sauron had a small dog, called Jim.

Granted. Jim ruins the floor of Barad-Dur and is never quiet. A "mutiny" occurs and the orcs overthrow Sauron simply to get rid of that blasted dog.


I wish that a hurricane hit Middle-Earth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by The 1,000 Reader

I wish that a hurricane hit Middle-Earth.

Andit was so. A hurricane takes a large swing at Middle Earth. But, of course, Orome isn't very happy about this, and so he sounds his horn and hits the hurricane back. There then erupts a huge fight in which all the Valar get involved and confusion mounts when Melko joins in. Even ten hours after the hurricane has departed, the fight continues until the fight causes more devastation than any hurricane could have been.

I wish Gandalf and Radagast had their own spin off show.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Gandalf and Radagast had their own spin off show.

Your wish is granted. The show was called "The Lone Wizard." Radagast played his faithful Druadan companion Targo.

I wish that Ar-Pharazon hadn't taken Sauron to Numenor.

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish that Ar-Pharazon hadn't taken Sauron to Numenor.

1-2-3. Granted. Instead of Numenor, Ar-Pharazon takes Sauron to Disneyland. Sauron dresses up as Mickey Mouse, Ar-Pharazon becomes Donald Duck, and they spend the rest of their lives posing for pictures with their adoring fans.

(And you wondered why Tolkien disliked Disney. )

I wish that Hobbits really did have express trains.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Originally Posted by Celuien

I wish that Hobbits really did have express trains.

The Hobbits now posses the fastest trains in all of Middle Earth, but they dont have any tracks and thats just plain silly!

I wish that Elves and Orcs would meet once a year to tell each other ghost stories

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Sauron wasn't evil.

Your wish is granted. That means the Lord of the Rings was never written. Instead Tolkien wrote The White Hand. It's about a renegade Maia who tries to take over Middle-earth. When PJ turned it into a movie he turned Saruman into a literal white hand.

I wish Tolkien recorded how old Durin the Deathless was when he died.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish Tolkien recorded how old Durin the Deathless was when he died.

Granted, however, becuase this appears to be a contradiction in terms, everyone gets confused and decides to hurl themselves off bridges... erm... onto... your house... or something.

I wish The Argonath had been showing a thumbs up rather than an open palm .

[High King Fingolfin]

Originally posted by Hookbill the Goomba
I wish The Argonath had been showing a thumbs up rather than an open palm.

Granted. But then the Argonath were structurally unstable in their hands which happened to collapse on the Fellowship's boats, causing them all to drown in the Anduin.

I wish that Denethor would not have gone crazy so Gandalf could have saved Theoden from the Witch-King.

[Farael]

Originally Posted by High King Fingolfin

I wish that Denethor would not have gone crazy so Gandalf could have saved Theoden from the Witch-King.

Alakazam! your wish is granted.... sadly, since every good story has an old man that goes crazy, it's Theoden the one who goes cucu and kills Gandalf. Sadly, he does so before Gandalf could give the final stroke to the WK.

Long story short, the Free Peoples of Middle Earth changed their name to Sauron's Minions. Some people think that it has a nicer ring to it anyway.

I wish Theodred had been sent to Rivendell when the council was held

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Theodred had been sent to Rivendell when the council was held

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, without him leading part of Rohan's defenses at that time, Saruman's forces gain land easily in Rohan, causing a victory for the forces of the White Hand.


I wish that Saruman had a landmine defense field around Isengard.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by The 1,000 Reader

I wish that Saruman had a landmine defense field around Isengard.

Granted, yet while marching his army out to helms deep, they all get blown up. Saruman spends the next five years cleaning up the mess.

I wish Turin had a sense of humour.