The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Gil-Galad · 07-26-2006, 09:42 PM

My day with a misunderstood Balrog, and exclusvie interview by Gil-Galad

Gil-Galad: We have here today one Johnny the Stinky Balrog, now mr.balrog, how did you come by this name?

Johnny: well when i was a kid, there was this tar pit near by filled with all these things that fell into it from above, my mommy always told me not to go near but i was hungry... and i fell in...and i basically never got the stench out

GG: terrible, so now you wander around Middle-Earth *looks at paper* helping strangers with their problems and rasing a Penguin army.

JB: ah yes, i mainly travel around now, setting fire to this and eating that guys horse, but i often enjoy sailing

GG: oh really? how does a Balrog sail?

JB:by not telling the crew theres a Balrog onboard! ha ha ha!

GG: Hilaurious, now Mr.Joh-

JB:hey can you get some special effect guy to make a picture of that?

GG: we can try, but now Johnny, about this latest thing, where you burned down a local make-up store because of being turned down by a lady, do you care to explain?

JB: well it wan't one of my proud moments... but she broke my heart and now i'm miserable...er...but thats the past

GG:indeed...do you have any plans for the future?

JB: of course i do and thanks for asking, i will plan on joining a wandering minstrel group and see how that works out...Lovely Spam...

GG: excuse me? did you just say lovely spam?

JB: maybe...maybe...no *eats spider*

GG:woah... now did you just eat that spider?

JB: i have no idea at what your talking about

GG: you just ate that spider!

JB:i did not

GG: i swear i just saw you eat that spider!

JB:i did not, now if you continue this rabling i might as well just leave

GG: your the one rambling! you ate that spider!

JB:i did not... wait... didn't you get killed off or something?

GG:...no now i think thats all the time we have

JB: hey yeah you did get killed off!

GG: hey look an eagle! *runs off*

After report: i never heard from him again, he was an interesting fellow and i would love to do more interviews of certain downers if one Goomba that may or may not have a bill that may or may not be hooked allows me to. Tune into more of my awesomeness and a PM may be coming to you soon!

Naria · 07-28-2006, 07:49 PM

The Red Planet Approaches Earth!!
by Naria Stargazer

Yes, that's right people! Mars is coming to Earth. Within the month of August Mars will get ever closer to Earth; finally being seen by the naked eye on the night of August 27th, 2006. This will NOT happen again for another 60,000 years...so grab your friends and family and be a witness to this awesome spectacle.

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-29-2006, 11:29 AM

Letters to the Editor...

These were not made up... much...

Quote:

Dear sir,

I want to thank you for doing such an excellent job on this publication. I enjoy all aspects of it and the £1.20 price tag is incredibly modest.
Please keep up the good work!

Mrs. J. Jekkaalg

Dear Mrs. Jekkaalg,

Thank you for your letter regarding The Downer. You will receive a packet of floss.

The price tag was a popular subject this week...

Quote:

Dear sir,

I think the £1.20 price tag is very good value! No other 1,000 page newspaper can boast as much as The Downer.

Mr. H. Haych.

Dear Mr. Haych,

Thank you for you comments. You will receive two balls of glue.

And again, the price was the subject of the next letter...

Quote:

Dear sir,

I think the price of £1.20 is far too low! I would gladly sell my house and all my possessions to help The Downer.

Mr. Jeremy Mister

Dear Mr. Mister,

Thank you for your input. You get a table made of cheese.

But the letters weren’t all full of praise.

Quote:

Dear sir,

I think The Downer is a load of old dwarf droppings!

Mr. Notthebarrowwighthonest

Dear Mr. Notthebarrowwighthonest,

I think you're a load of old Dwarf Droppings.

07-26-2006, 09:42 PM	#1
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	My day with a misunderstood Balrog, and exclusvie interview by Gil-Galad Gil-Galad: We have here today one Johnny the Stinky Balrog, now mr.balrog, how did you come by this name? Johnny: well when i was a kid, there was this tar pit near by filled with all these things that fell into it from above, my mommy always told me not to go near but i was hungry... and i fell in...and i basically never got the stench out GG: terrible, so now you wander around Middle-Earth looks at paper helping strangers with their problems and rasing a Penguin army. JB: ah yes, i mainly travel around now, setting fire to this and eating that guys horse, but i often enjoy sailing GG: oh really? how does a Balrog sail? JB:by not telling the crew theres a Balrog onboard! ha ha ha! GG: Hilaurious, now Mr.Joh- JB:hey can you get some special effect guy to make a picture of that? GG: we can try, but now Johnny, about this latest thing, where you burned down a local make-up store because of being turned down by a lady, do you care to explain? JB: well it wan't one of my proud moments... but she broke my heart and now i'm miserable...er...but thats the past GG:indeed...do you have any plans for the future? JB: of course i do and thanks for asking, i will plan on joining a wandering minstrel group and see how that works out...Lovely Spam... GG: excuse me? did you just say lovely spam? JB: maybe...maybe...no eats spider GG:woah... now did you just eat that spider? JB: i have no idea at what your talking about GG: you just ate that spider! JB:i did not GG: i swear i just saw you eat that spider! JB:i did not, now if you continue this rabling i might as well just leave GG: your the one rambling! you ate that spider! JB:i did not... wait... didn't you get killed off or something? GG:...no now i think thats all the time we have JB: hey yeah you did get killed off! GG: hey look an eagle! runs off After report: i never heard from him again, he was an interesting fellow and i would love to do more interviews of certain downers if one Goomba that may or may not have a bill that may or may not be hooked allows me to. Tune into more of my awesomeness and a PM may be coming to you soon! __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

07-28-2006, 07:49 PM	#2
Naria Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 500	The Red Planet Approaches Earth!! by Naria Stargazer Yes, that's right people! Mars is coming to Earth. Within the month of August Mars will get ever closer to Earth; finally being seen by the naked eye on the night of August 27th, 2006. This will NOT happen again for another 60,000 years...so grab your friends and family and be a witness to this awesome spectacle. __________________ MONEY Anyone who says it doesn't buy happiness.....is probably broke.