Worst Middle Earth Occupations - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Morgoth's Apprentice · 05-14-2008, 10:53 PM

- moving target practice for Elven archers
- the messenger that told Morgoth the Valar were coming
- a defender of Osgiliath
-an Elf set to guard Gollum

Morthoron · 05-15-2008, 01:13 AM

Hmmmm....worst professions?

1) Hobbit podiatrist ('Well, I wouldn't be very proud of those feet, Mr. Proudfoot.')
2) Dwarvish matchmaker ('Oh, you'll love her beard, Mr. Stonehelm, it's...ummm...just like yours!')
3) Arborist in Fangorn ('I was just trying to prune some dead branches. How did I know he was an Ent?')
4) Hospitality Director at Mordor's Center for Tourism
5) Gollum's psychoanalyst

mormegil · 05-15-2008, 09:28 PM

The poor wretch that puts on armor, loin cloth, whatever on the the troll

kementari · 05-22-2008, 05:54 AM

having to take the inner leg measurements from under his cloak...eww

Hakon · 06-08-2009, 04:33 PM

Sauron's Interior Designer

Dwarf Barber

Orc Chef

Feanor's Lawyer

Boromir's Private Doctor

Tuor in Gondolin · 06-08-2009, 05:28 PM

- Turin's anger management councillor

- vegan shopowner in the Shire

- Gollum's dentist (and that's without even getting
into making Smeagol a set of dentures)

Lindale · 06-10-2009, 03:44 AM

- shoemakers in the Shire
- Denethor's therapist
- Smeagol's grandmother... having to tell the kids to not fight over rings.

I fancy Denethor's cook to have not a very bad time though, and so do Thranduil's wine tasters.

05-15-2008, 01:13 AM	#2
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	Hmmmm....worst professions? 1) Hobbit podiatrist ('Well, I wouldn't be very proud of those feet, Mr. Proudfoot.') 2) Dwarvish matchmaker ('Oh, you'll love her beard, Mr. Stonehelm, it's...ummm...just like yours!') 3) Arborist in Fangorn ('I was just trying to prune some dead branches. How did I know he was an Ent?') 4) Hospitality Director at Mordor's Center for Tourism 5) Gollum's psychoanalyst __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

05-15-2008, 09:28 PM	#3
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,651	The poor wretch that puts on armor, loin cloth, whatever on the the troll __________________ “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

05-22-2008, 05:54 AM	#4
kementari Haunting Spirit Join Date: May 2003 Location: Amongst the Ferns: New Zealand Posts: 56	Sauron's Tailor having to take the inner leg measurements from under his cloak...eww __________________ ~ Kementari ~ Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo.

06-08-2009, 04:33 PM	#5
Hakon Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2009 Location: The Twilight Zone Posts: 736	Sauron's Interior Designer Dwarf Barber Orc Chef Feanor's Lawyer Boromir's Private Doctor __________________ Medicine for the soul. ~Inscription over the door of the Library at Thebes

06-08-2009, 05:28 PM	#6
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	- Turin's anger management councillor - vegan shopowner in the Shire - Gollum's dentist (and that's without even getting into making Smeagol a set of dentures) __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

05-14-2008, 10:53 PM	#1
Morgoth's Apprentice Animated Skeleton Join Date: May 2008 Location: In Angband, chillin with Morgoth and learning how to take over the world Posts: 38	- moving target practice for Elven archers - the messenger that told Morgoth the Valar were coming - a defender of Osgiliath -an Elf set to guard Gollum

06-10-2009, 03:44 AM	#7
Lindale Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: midway upon... in a forest dark Posts: 975	- shoemakers in the Shire - Denethor's therapist - Smeagol's grandmother... having to tell the kids to not fight over rings. I fancy Denethor's cook to have not a very bad time though, and so do Thranduil's wine tasters. __________________ The heart does things for reasons Reason itself cannot comprehend. - Blaise Pascal Legal Madness.