The Bad LotR Fan Fic Drinking Game

[Kitanna]

Hero/Heroine is a wielder of magic in a Harry Potter, we can all be wizards, sort of way - take a shot
Frodo has a half-elf, half-hobbit child* - Take two shots
Fellowship reunites - take a shot
There's another dragon to kill or it'll ruin everyone's life for realz - Take a shot
Author admits to never having read the books and based it on the movies - take three shots and cry

* Found this one floating about and I laughed quite hard.

[Thenamir]

You know, I might take it on as a personal challenge to write every one of these items into a single story (minus the slash/sexual parts) and thus create some kind of mass-comatose binge.

It'll have to wait until I can get the next post for REB III up...which has been in the works for, what, 10 months now?

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Thenamir

You know, I might take it on as a personal challenge to write every one of these items into a single story (minus the slash/sexual parts) and thus create some kind of mass-comatose binge.

It'll have to wait until I can get the next post for REB III up...which has been in the works for, what, 10 months now?

If you would care to have an accomplice, I would love to add a character to the mayhem. Perhaps a few roleplayers could make the most wretched "Mary-Sue and the Middle-earth High School Massacre, Part IV: The Seduction of Arwen's Blind Sister" ever created.

I even have the perfect starting sentence:

"It was a dark, stormy night."

*The Dark Elf takes a shot for even thinking of something so diabolical*

[Gwathagor]

Wormwood liquor...is that the same thing as absinthe?

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Gwathagor

Wormwood liquor...is that the same thing as absinthe?

Yes, it is. Yet in context with Elves in trees and branches, I went with the 'wormwood' connotation instead. But as they say, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder."

[Lush]

A so-called friend sent me a link to a blog which hosted a story with the following elements:

Arwen is really Aragorn's long lost mother... somehow.

They enter into a romantic relationship anyway.

But then Aragorn falls in love with a magical woman with "amber eyes."

Magical woman with amber eyes kills Arwen in some sort of... duel.

Then random hilarity ensues when Thranduil shows up and claims magical woman with amber eyes. And Legolas gets involved on both sides. Somehow.

Oh,and Aragorn just sort of cowers and mopes through it all, and composes bad poetry that sounds kind of like a Nickelback rip-off.

Seemed like a trollfic, but author was defending it rather viciously in the comments. Then it was deleted.

So if you're wondering where I've been, the short answer is "in alcoholic stupor."

[Nerwen]

Link, please?

*is a masochist*

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Thenamir

You know, I might take it on as a personal challenge to write every one of these items into a single story (minus the slash/sexual parts) and thus create some kind of mass-comatose binge.

It'll have to wait until I can get the next post for REB III up...which has been in the works for, what, 10 months now?

Originally Posted by Morthoron

If you would care to have an accomplice, I would love to add a character to the mayhem. Perhaps a few roleplayers could make the most wretched "Mary-Sue and the Middle-earth High School Massacre, Part IV: The Seduction of Arwen's Blind Sister" ever created.

I even have the perfect starting sentence:

"It was a dark, stormy night."

*The Dark Elf takes a shot for even thinking of something so diabolical*

I repeat my offer to anyone who is interested in writing the most dreadful RP ever created. I am in the process of having the dwarves create a prosthetic finger for Frodo so that he won't be so melancholy, and be whole, and find the Hobbit boy of his dreams.

[Nerwen]

Me! Me!

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

Me! Me!

*The Dark Elf smirks*

Nerwen, somehow I knew you'd want to be in on this conspiracy. So, what do you think, a true epic farce with stunningly bad elements, or just a stunningly bad epic drama? Or is the line between the two so thin it doesn't matter?

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

So, what do you think, a true epic farce with stunningly bad elements, or just a stunningly bad epic drama? Or is the line between the two so thin it doesn't matter?

Not really... a stunningly bad epic drama is a farce. We must have angst!

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

Me! Me!

Please sir!!! Me too Sir!!

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

I repeat my offer to anyone who is interested in writing the most dreadful RP ever created. I am in the process of having the dwarves create a prosthetic finger for Frodo so that he won't be so melancholy, and be whole, and find the Hobbit boy of his dreams.

Me sir!

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

Me sir!

Great! Nerwen, Mithalwen, Kitanna...we have the makings of a wondrously...ummm...banal...classic! I should think a few more contributors (roleplays tend to get rather muddied and confusing if there are more than 6 or 7 full-time characters ), and we can start planning.

I'm thinking of creating a half-elven character -- with a twist. You see, my mother, an elf of Doriath, was raped by a dwarf in the sack of Menegroth. Growing up a short elf has been rather hard on me, and the fact that I have to shave every day to look like the other Elves is quite grating. The other elven children used to taunt me and call me "Perenaug". Naturally, I have grown up to be an embittered elf with an axe to grind (quite literally).

[Nerwen]

Hmmn... perhaps I could take up your suggestion from a few posts back? My character is Arwen's blind sister. I have the Mary Sue version of blindness– meaning it causes me deep anguish, but no practical inconvenience whatever. In fact, I'm a much better archer than Legolas.