The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-16-2008, 05:38 PM

As Big Ben rings out to annoy the people in close vicinity, I see that it's technically Monday here in Blighty. So, without further delay, here is the real news that is real.

This week, The Phantom goes solo. Oh how his ego will grow. Just like the plot in a pot of quick grow cement... Wait... Does cement grow? I don't care, I'm going with that.

Comic Archive

If you have any suggestions for a P&A or general Downer christmas antics, please let us know. We want this to be an extravaganza of special magnificence!

Why am I saying 'we' as if there's a team of people working on this paper? Why do I keep asking myself these questions that make me look stupid? And Why do I publish them on the Internet for all to see? I think it must be the poisoned horse I met today.

Morthoron · 11-16-2008, 08:19 PM

LETTER TO THE EDITOR (Sung to the tune of 'Thick as a Brick')

Dear Downer Staff:

I hope you don't mind this editorial roast,
But your eyelids might blister while you're reading this post.
I oft' times do wonder if your writers can think --
Your grammar's atrocious and your spelling, it stinks.
But no news is good news on the Downs,
With the Barrow Wight making his rounds,
And Phantom and Alien are profound --
If you're dead in the head.

And this journalistic nightmare just won't go away,
Like a tidal wave of gravy that Oddwen has sprayed.
The sadists are typing with tongues in their cheeks
For the next edition due at the start of the week.
But the Downer is getting surreal,
Like Salvador Dali in high heels,
Whose fishnet stockings only appeal --
When you're dead in the head.

And the nausea I feel
Is welling today.
The Downer's a bad dream
I have every Sunday!
And I look with dread
(But I look just the same).

Bring me down some more beer, get me dazed till I puke.
I need to get wasted, to tell you the truth;
In order to read anymore of this tripe.

Sincerely,
Jethro Tull
Agronomist, Inventor of the Seed Drill
Shalbourne, Berkshire, England

Oddwen · 11-16-2008, 10:33 PM

...

Wow, that gravy...looks gross. Green, even.

THE Ka · 11-16-2008, 11:54 PM

The white room is probably the phantom's equilvalent of white noise, I'm guessing?

~ white walls and rooms are sad, poor things Ka

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-20-2008, 03:03 AM

Lal and Alien continue their adventure. But, as usual, Alien's grasp on the situation is some what tenuous. As is, it seems, my ability to draw explosions...

COMIC ARCHIVE

Lalwendë · 11-21-2008, 08:17 AM

OK, who has been feeding the birds oats soaked in petrol? Tut tut.

Legate of Amon Lanc · 11-21-2008, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

OK, who has been feeding the birds oats soaked in petrol? Tut tut.

I see our Inspector Lalwendë is getting into the job

11-16-2008, 05:38 PM	#1
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Week 123 (4567789?) As Big Ben rings out to annoy the people in close vicinity, I see that it's technically Monday here in Blighty. So, without further delay, here is the real news that is real. This week, The Phantom goes solo. Oh how his ego will grow. Just like the plot in a pot of quick grow cement... Wait... Does cement grow? I don't care, I'm going with that. Comic Archive If you have any suggestions for a P&A or general Downer christmas antics, please let us know. We want this to be an extravaganza of special magnificence! Why am I saying 'we' as if there's a team of people working on this paper? Why do I keep asking myself these questions that make me look stupid? And Why do I publish them on the Internet for all to see? I think it must be the poisoned horse I met today. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

11-16-2008, 08:19 PM	#2
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	LETTER TO THE EDITOR (Sung to the tune of 'Thick as a Brick') Dear Downer Staff: I hope you don't mind this editorial roast, But your eyelids might blister while you're reading this post. I oft' times do wonder if your writers can think -- Your grammar's atrocious and your spelling, it stinks. But no news is good news on the Downs, With the Barrow Wight making his rounds, And Phantom and Alien are profound -- If you're dead in the head. And this journalistic nightmare just won't go away, Like a tidal wave of gravy that Oddwen has sprayed. The sadists are typing with tongues in their cheeks For the next edition due at the start of the week. But the Downer is getting surreal, Like Salvador Dali in high heels, Whose fishnet stockings only appeal -- When you're dead in the head. And the nausea I feel Is welling today. The Downer's a bad dream I have every Sunday! And I look with dread (But I look just the same). Bring me down some more beer, get me dazed till I puke. I need to get wasted, to tell you the truth; In order to read anymore of this tripe. Sincerely, Jethro Tull Agronomist, Inventor of the Seed Drill Shalbourne, Berkshire, England __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

11-16-2008, 10:33 PM	#3
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	... Wow, that gravy...looks gross. Green, even. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

11-16-2008, 11:54 PM	#4
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	The white room is probably the phantom's equilvalent of white noise, I'm guessing? ~ white walls and rooms are sad, poor things Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

11-20-2008, 03:03 AM	#5
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Lal and Alien continue their adventure. But, as usual, Alien's grasp on the situation is some what tenuous. As is, it seems, my ability to draw explosions... COMIC ARCHIVE __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

11-21-2008, 08:17 AM	#6
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	OK, who has been feeding the birds oats soaked in petrol? Tut tut. __________________ Gordon's alive!