Tolkien Translated... into Googlese

[Estelyn Telcontar]

It was a hole canon

So the Hobbit is canonical?!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gave this a try. Went through a number of languages (none Latin based ones often produce the best results).

I do not know half of the half, because I wanted to and I like less than half the average, as it deserves.

Funnily enough, it may make more sense than Bilbo's original statement.

[Inziladun]

When I put in Beren's well-known response to Thingol

Death you can give me earned or unearned; but the names I will not take from you of baseborn, nor spy, nor thrall.

I got this:

The death has given me a winner or not work, but not from poachers name or spyware, and slavery.

[mormegil]

You cannot enter here. Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master. Go!

became

You can here. Back to the list of sinks: go! What is the low expectations and an MBA. Go!

4 translations to be on masters degree and on the 5th it was an MBA.

[Thinlómien]

No bubbles!!!

Thanks Pitchie for the wonderful link.

Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.

became

Win it! I will not say anything. Many of those who live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. You are women? And not satisfied with the deal in court for death. Even the wisest knows all the ends.

and

The biter bit, the hawk under eagle's foot, the spider in the steel web!

became

Biter bit by the Eagle and the promotion of the Internet!

Rather interesting, eh?

[Urwen]

5. "Yes, we're happy, I drink blood, so I can use a password trapped in the blood, Mr. President, and the wrong brand of blood. I hunger to death."

It's easy

Yes,gladly I'll drink your blood to avenge blood of you-know-who and unjustful slaying of the Lame.I'll kill you swiftly.

But can you translate this:

Get away from my garden,you giant toad of Mr.Gloomy!

[Nerwen]

1. "Natural brother, brother, my heart is full. Is to manage and continue. I do not agree with the suffering of young people."

2. "Lee Teng-hui is a dangerous road, not a party to a low emissions future, it will be the case. Calm down!"

3. "Aragon remember how to look dead."

4. "There are many opportunities to curious about the world, and to help the poor in the hand tool is often seen as unstable."

5. "Yes, we're happy, I drink blood, so I can use a password trapped in the blood, Mr. President, and the wrong brand of blood. I hunger to death."

[Pitchwife]

Could this be the germ of a new quiz thread?

Originally Posted by Nerwen

1. "Natural brother, brother, my heart is full. Is to manage and continue. I do not agree with the suffering of young people."

Neither do I, but I guess it's Fingolfin to Fëanor: "Your half-brother in blood, but your full brother in heart I will be", etc.

2. "Lee Teng-hui is a dangerous road, not a party to a low emissions future, it will be the case. Calm down!"

Lee Teng-hui? Is that the Chinese name for Lalaith?

3. "Aragon remember how to look dead."

"Aragorn, remember the Paths of the Dead"?

4. "There are many opportunities to curious about the world, and to help the poor in the hand tool is often seen as unstable."

An insight we'd all do well to take to heart. No idea.

5. "Yes, we're happy, I drink blood, so I can use a password trapped in the blood, Mr. President, and the wrong brand of blood. I hunger to death."

Can this be Gandalf to Pippin at the gate of Moria - "Knock on the door with your head, Peregrin Took", etc.? Otherwise, no idea.

Poachers, spyware, holes in the canon and the list of the sinks... Incredible!

EDIT: Of course, Urwen! *slaps forehead* But I wonder where 'password' and 'Mr President' came from...

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Pitch

Neither do I, but I guess it's Fingolfin to Fëanor: "Your half-brother in blood, but your full brother in heart I will be", etc.

That's it.

Lee Teng-hui? Is that the Chinese name for Lalaith?

No. Apparently it's Chinese for "Fool of a Took". This is Gandalf to Pippin after the latter throws a stone into the shaft in Moria.

Originally Posted by Pitch

"Aragorn, remember the Paths of the Dead"?

Yep.

Originally Posted by Pitch

An insight we'd all do well to take to heart. No idea.

Guinevere has it: "Many are the strange chances of the world and helps oft shall come from the hands of the weak when the Wise falter."

Originally Posted by Pitch

Can this be Gandalf to Pippin at the gate of Moria - "Knock on the door with your head, Peregrin Took", etc.? Otherwise, no idea.

Of course, Urwen! *slaps forehead* But I wonder where 'password' and 'Mr President' came from...

Yes, Urwen's right, it's the sword Gurthang. "Mr President" starts out as "master" and morphs gradually by way of "sir" and "Chairman". "Password" is more mysterious. It appears right after the first (Afrikaans) translation: "Yes, I will gladly drink your blood, that I may the blood of the siege of my master password, and the blood of slain Brandir unfair. I will fast to death."

"Beleg" becomes "seige" at the same point, but after a while that disappears.

[Pitchwife]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

"Password" is more mysterious. It appears right after the first (Afrikaans) translation: "Yes, I will gladly drink your blood, that I may the blood of the siege of my master password, and the blood of slain Brandir unfair. I will fast to death."
"Beleg" becomes "seige" at the same point, but after a while that disappears.

It just hits me that "password" may actually come from "Beleg" via German Beleg (pronounced roughly 'balague', as in 'plague') = 'proof, voucher, receipt'. The poor guy - wasn't being slain by his best friend hard enough on him?

[Morthoron]

What an odd site. I put in this:

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

And the eighth translation (from Chinese) gave me the strangest return:

Living in the ground a short hole. This is a dirty, dirty hole, wet, damp cave completely worms and smell the end, but no nudity, dry, nothing I heard him sand: This is a troll-hole, which means comfort.

Thank goodness 'no nudity'. It was all beginning to sound vaguely indecent.

[Aiwendil]

This is most amusing.

I tried:

There was Iluvatar, the All-father, and he made first the Ainur, the holy ones, who were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made.

Result:

I am the Earth, God, it's just Ainur and the saints who from their ideas, do not do anything.

Those lousy Ainur (and saints), why don't they ever do anything with their ideas?

Curiously, the first iteration (to Afrikaans and back to English) transformed 'Iluvatar' into 'Eru Iluvatar'. So apparently the dictionaries include the names of some Tolkien characters.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

It just hits me that "password" may actually come from "Beleg" via German Beleg (pronounced roughly 'balague', as in 'plague') = 'proof, voucher, receipt'. The poor guy - wasn't being slain by his best friend hard enough on him?

Ah, you must be right. But then I don't know where "seige" comes from.

Ja, Ek sal graag jou bloed drink nie, dat daar so ek kan die bloed van die beleg van my heer vergeet, en die bloed van Brandir verslaan is onregverdig. Ek sal jou vinnig doodmaak

Any clues?

Anyway, Beleg's not so badly off, just being turned into a password*. The equally unfortunate Brandir eventually becomes, "the wrong brand of blood".





*Next time I need a password, I'll know what to pick.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

Anyway, Beleg's not so badly off, just being turned into a password*. The equally unfortunate Brandir eventually becomes, "the wrong brand of blood".

As in: "What kind of cheap rubbish are you drinking, Dracula?"

But, look at this:

"Lord Black, who left the country! This is very unfair. The illegal seizure of their countries' struggle. Therefore, the king must be wrong battle, he should buy, so it will always exist."

Aww, poor them. This is very unfair.
The last sentence, however, seems like having some deeper idea behind it, probably some "Capitalist metaphysics".

[Pitchwife]

After a quick search of some Afrikaans online dictionaries, it looks like we could both be right, Nerwen: Afr beleg (noun)= Engl siege (cf. German Belagerung siege, belagern to lay siege on). On the other hand, Afr beleg (verb) = Gm belegen = Engl to proove. So my best guess at the moment is that Beleg got split into 'siege' and 'password', while forget seems to have been... well, forgotten. But maybe some Dutch Downer could shed some more light on this?
Anyway, it's all quite fascinating, once you dig into it - even more if you happen to understand two or three of the languages involved, I suppose.

Originally Posted by Legate

"Lord Black, who left the country! This is very unfair. The illegal seizure of their countries' struggle. Therefore, the king must be wrong battle, he should buy, so it will always exist."

*input error*input error*input error*input error*input error*(insert smilie with smoke coming out of its ears)*

[Guinevere]

Well, in Dutch "Beleg" does mean "siege". (in German "siege" is "Belagerung" , I can see the relationship.)
When I fetch money at the cash machine they always ask "Wünschen Sie einen Beleg?" (Do you wish a Beleg (receipt)?
Makes me always think of poor Cuthalion!

Edit:Oops, cross-posted with Pitchwife!

[Guinevere]

*wipes tears of mirth*

At least I recognize this one:

Originally Posted by Nerwen

4. "There are many opportunities to curious about the world, and to help the poor in the hand tool is often seen as unstable."

"Many are the strange chances of the world and help oft shall come from the hands of the weak when the Wise falter."

[Oddwen]

Ships and High King 33rd. Why land flowing sea monster? Seven, seven white stones and trees

Cook, cook better than me, if you know what I mean.

He was a sailor Arverni. Earendil left the ship, in order to reduce Nimbrethil trees

That one made me chortle.

Good and evil are not to change things, past, or elves, dwarves and another man. These are to make a different timber, gold, and his family.

Since, you know...if you need new timber, gold and families, good and evil won't help you.

[Loslote]

The first couple lines of Galadriel's Lament (

"I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew; of wind I sang, a wind there came, and in the branches blew."

), ten translations later, turns out to be:

"I sing in the leaves and gold leaves and rose gold there, the wind, the wind, a broken branch."

And then, the description of Vana:

All flowers spring as she passes and open if she glances upon them; and all birds sing at her coming.

becomes:

"Some of the flowers in the spring in your eyes, open them and all the birds sing next."

And, my personal favorite middling translation:

Part of the spring flowers are in his eyes, open them and all the birds are singing next.

Let's just say if I were Orome, I wouldn't be too excited about this...

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Oh my, these are all so hilarious

"Some of the flowers in the spring in your eyes, open them and all the birds sing next" - that's quite a cool advice, isn't it?

How about this one:

"When you speak the language of toxic tell you, Snake youth?"

I can't speak the language of toxic, but I assume "Snake Youth" is a Middle-Earth equivalent to the Scout movement...

And this is a piece of dialogue between friends who are fed up with Microsoft:

"In a few minutes! Year! Beaten and cursed. I hate you how to install! "Then give it away!" - Gandalf said.

I have this quite clear picture of Gandalf and Gríma (yes, he's the other one) sitting by the computer and watching the screen saying something like "installation will be complete in a few minutes" and it's there for several hours...

Although I cracked up also at some of the transitional stages:

Year minute! Few years! Ever beaten and cursed. How do you hate I would like to ride it! "And then give it!" Said Gandalf.

That just sounds to me like something from a Phantom and Alien comic strip (Gandalf's "addendum" sounds just like something Alien could say in the last frame).

[Guinevere]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

2. "Lee Teng-hui is a dangerous road, not a party to a low emissions future, it will be the case. Calm down!"

Could this perhaps be:
"Fool of a Took!" "This is a serious journey, not a hobbit walking-party.Throw yourself in next time, and then you will be no further nuisance Now be quiet!"

or am I mistaken?

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Guinevere

Originally Posted by Nerwen
2. "Lee Teng-hui is a dangerous road, not a party to a low emissions future, it will be the case. Calm down!"Could this perhaps be:
"Fool of a Took!" "This is a serious journey, not a hobbit walking-party.Throw yourself in next time, and then you will be no further nuisance Now be quiet!"

or am I mistaken?

No, you're not mistaken. How on Middle-earth did you work that one out?

[Eönwë]

Originally Posted by Estelyn Telcontar

It was a hole canon
So the Hobbit is canonical?!

Actually, I think it's suggesting that it's a hole in the canon, and so uncanonical.