Tolkien Translated... into Googlese

[Pitchwife]

Sorry for double-posting on my own thread, but this random quote from the upper left corner cried out to be translated, and the results were remarkably coherent, if somewhat surrealistic.

Old fool! Why there is a large patch in the hollow of his left breast as bare as a snail out of its shell.

(Bilbo after discovering Smaug's weak spot in The Hobbit)
became after 10 translations (sorry if this isn't exactly family-friendly):

Life is a lie! Why is it very convenient, the famine, and a turtle in a container, such as bare breasts.

after 25:

Life is good! Since this is so simple, thirst for container and turtle on his chest.

after maximum of translations:

Life is beautiful! One reason for this is simple: the heart, courage and adventure in sea.

I'm sure Horatio Hornblower would have agreed.