Paper Telephone.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

But ace reporter Loslote gave us the big scoop. She took a photo of the scene which looked like this…

Originally Posted by Loslote

When Oddwen saw it over her morning coffee, she almost choked. Indeed, so outraged was she that the only thing she could do was contact her local MP to complain like this…

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Gandalf threatens to break Faramir and Eowyn's new expensive flatscreentir, while their banana-dressed child has leapt to its doom off the back of the couch.

The MP in question, Eonwe, decided a press conference was in order. All the official documents were sealed with his own drawing. This one, to be exact…

Originally Posted by Eonwe

It was The Might complained about this and wrote a note to his local newspaper, saying…

Originally Posted by The Might

Gandalf is powerless as more and more signs of the apocalypse appear in Middle-earth.

Selling papers in the rush hour traffic, Brinniel came across this statement and decided to hire a child to do some graffiti. This is what she told the brat to draw…

Originally Posted by Brinniel

An enraged Nogrod took issue with this and called up a spirit from the darkness. He used this incantation to do it…

Originally Posted by Nogrod

Gandalf enters Resident Evil forest armed with snowballs and is totally flabbergasted.

To be continued...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The spirit was named Urwen the dreadfully evil. But it manifested as this strange image in the crystal ball…

Originally Posted by Urwen

But because this was illegal, TheGreatElvenWarrior arrived on the scene to arrest them both. She told them…

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

The butter man yelps for help whilst attempting to crawl out of a snow mound.

With that in mind it was up to Laurinquë to sort the mess out at the police station. During the interrogations, she doodled on the prisoners’ faces…

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

Which caused inmate Beregond to file a complaint to the prison guards. He said;

Originally Posted by Beregond

Butterman is eaten by a snow monster during a truly picturesque sunset.

This was to the surprise of the guard, A Little Green, who proceeded to leap from the tallest tower of the prison, leaving a mark on the ground that looked like this…

Originally Posted by A Little Green

When the doctors showed up they were very distraught. One in particular, Isabellkya, told the surgeons that…

Originally Posted by Isabellkya

As the Creeper Sun set behind the hills it spied Reptile Zombie, who was watching the Abominable Worrr Crier munching on a rather resistant Butter Stick.

To be continued...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Which just confused Mnemosyne, who went on to describe the reaction of the head doctors with this picture…

When all of this got back to Pitchwife, the confusion was evident. For the only thing they found left were these words on the walls…

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

Ratatösk the Green and the Earth Mother are dismayed by Lilac Alien's uncanonical appetite for Faramir's little grey cells.

Wilwarin, still dazed and confused from the last time, read this and threw up on a dog. The resultant pattern looked like this…

Originally Posted by Wilwarin

But Aganzir was not fooled by the crude shapes when she wandered by. Indeed, she laughed and told anyone who would listen that…

Originally Posted by Aganzir

The Lime Wizard and Entwife are sorry the purple Alien ate the rotten Faramir potatoes.

Grieved by this message, satasaloser2005 decided to nail her colours to the mast. Much to the disgust of the captain who drew this on her face…

Originally Posted by satasaloser2005

Lommy, faced with these horrors on her morning stroll of the coastline, rushed back to her Pengish home where she wrote an angry message to the national society for the protection of cruelty to boats. This is what she wrote…

Originally Posted by Lommy

When Father Christmas's elves started turning green and potatoes started eating their own children, Treebeard knew Alien had gone too far.

To be continued...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Working for the post office, Legate often stole letters and read them, so he could pretend to his family that he had friends. Upon reading this letter, however, he was so distressed that he painted the side of his house like so…

Originally Posted by Legate

Having just moved next door, Loslote was almost sick with shock at this sight. So, she grabbed her mop and banged on the groundskeeper’s shed and shouted…

Originally Posted by Loslote

Saruman genetically manipulates his genes so that he looks like Alien while The Phantom hides in the basement from Treebeard and his pet monkey-face-eating trash can.

When groundskeeper Oddwen came out to hear this, she threw a tantrum. In her rage, she drew this in the soil…

Originally Posted by Oddwen

The Great beast Eönwë came out of the forest and saw this. Then, in a fit of laughter, shouted this at passers by…

Originally Posted by Eönwë

Saruman uses the potent and noxious "essence of Alien" in order to become the invincible Saruman the Green, while a coniferous Ent who came for the elusive "Phantom" looks in dismay, hypnotised by the green energy source.

When Nogrod was forced to hear this by the police, he was devastated. So, back in his cell, he drew this on his leg…

Originally Posted by Nogrod

So it was Beregond who came to see this drawing while in his malicious tower of dreadful evil where he had a television showing him the prison cells. Amused and cackling with laughter, he fell from his tower, shouting…

Originally Posted by Beregond

Pine Tree is horrified as Saruman gives his best Austin Powers impersonation, exultant in the vapourization of a suspicious green substance that for some reason makes Phantom cry.

To be continued...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Great Elven Warrior tried to save the situation by catching the falling man in a towel that looked like this…

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

Urwen witnessed this by use of magical television bearing squirrels. Outrage was the only reaction and it wasn’t long before Urwen shouted this to the press…

Originally Posted by Urwen

Saruman decided to reconcile with Ents

But the new editor, Isabellkya, took issue with this, but none the less decided to present the story as an advert that looked like this…

Originally Posted by Isabellkya

Laurinque made inquiries about this craziness by calling the helpline. She told the operator that…

Originally Posted by Laurinque

Saruman of the Stylish Cheekbones ponders giving into blackmail as two over-sized vegetables, celery and broccoli respectively, sneer at him over a jar of deadly Ent-draught.

It was Rune who made people’s heads explode with anger as he replied to this phone call by drawing this on his window.

Originally Posted by Rune

A Little Green was a window washer at the time. She almost died of laughter when she saw this picture. As she was taken to the hospital she shouted…

Originally Posted by Greenie

The trees disapprove of a geometry-obsessed Radagast's obscure toxic waste experiments

To be concluded...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Which all lead to a MYSTERY GUEST having a raging fit before leaving an angry drawing on the desk of a newspaper’s reception…

Originally Posted by Weird man

And finally, Mnemosyne went down to the British Museum and scrubbed off the graffiti while singing…

Originally Posted by Mnemosyne

Five huorns misinterpret Radagast the Brown's warning them of environmental hazards in semaphore as a unique rendition of Salome's Dance of the Seven Veils.

And that was the end of it. Nobody ever found out what all the fuss about. It seemed to be a big hoo-hah over nothing.

Anyone up for another round?

[Pitchwife]

*dies*