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Old 12-01-2011, 10:18 AM   #29
mark12_30
Stormdancer of Doom
 
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Elvish singing is not a thing to miss, in June under the stars
Posts: 4,349
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Oxygen. IOW time to breathe would be good.

Hey, since you are engaged and ready-- how would you like to write ...And they all took a deep breath and turned to walk downhilll, and-- golly, who is asleep on the moss? MELLONDU...?

All I ask is that Mellondu be dreaming in a deep green bed of lovely moss, on the riverbank. The bed should be cool, but also almost luxurious. Even though Mellondu is still wet and shivering with the cold, he is (for a moment) almost reluctant to leave the lovely moss.

Somehow the cold and the luxurious moss both seem terribly important. George MacDonald's influence, I think, and his cold beautiful sleep of death.

If you want it, it's all yours!
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...down to the water to see the elves dance and sing upon the midsummer's eve.
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