Head of the family? Earendil or Luthien? Dark or Golden?

[Galadriel]

[QUOTE]

Originally Posted by cellurdur

Finwe, Elwe, Ingwe and Olwe gained their royal status, because they were brave enough to make the journey to Valinor. The Noldor did seem to only pass the High Kingship through the male line and to males, but that is not true with the Sindar. Dior is Thingol's heir/

So did all the Elves, actually, save the Teleri. They weren't the only ones brave enough to make the journey. Dior is a male, by the way, so I have no idea what you're talking about when you say he's Thingol's heir. You're just proving my point.

As for other matriarchs there is Haleth, the head of her family.

If I remember correctly, that is only because the patriarch died, not because she was first choice.

Lastly the reason queens are not mentioned, because Tolkien is focusing on the ruling monarch.

That's no excuse. Unless the queens had absolutely no say in ruling the kingdom, that is, and even then it's a really dubious reason. I don't know if there's any country in which queens are not mentioned for generations on end. Even in a strictly patriarchal dynasty, such as that of the Mughals, in which emperors had several wives who most certainly were not rulers or rarely even unofficial advisers, they are all mentioned. You seem to be defending the sexist/misogynistic procedure of omitting female names entirely, just because they weren't the 'ruling monarchs'. They provided the heirs, at the very least, which I'm pretty sure these monarchs couldn't do unless they were amoebas or something. I'm sorry, but Tolkien's ME is quite sexist, and there's little you can say to contradict that.