Chapter 1: Of the Beginning of Time

[Aiwendil]

I like that solution a lot. I think my concerns about the passage are all addressed with Findegil's last post.

[ArcusCalion]

I have a minor point: Should the term Outer Lands be used? or should it not be changed to Middle-earth, to avoid the confusion of what is meant?

also I think Fin's "were" addition in the 15b sentence should be "where" and should come before the comma. Aside from that, I think it looks great!

[Aiwendil]

Originally Posted by ArcusCalion

also I think Fin's "were" addition in the 15b sentence should be "where" and should come before the comma.

Yes, I missed that typo.

Originally Posted by ArcusCalion

I have a minor point: Should the term Outer Lands be used? or should it not be changed to Middle-earth, to avoid the confusion of what is meant?

Good point. I think it must be changed. In 'The Coming of the Valar', the Outer Lands are defined as the Twilit Isles, Eruman, and Valinor; but in later writings the Outer Lands are all the lands east of Valinor (including Middle-earth). Perhaps it would be safest to simply remove "that were set beyond the Outer Lands". So:

... where the light of both the Lamps met and blended. BoT-13.7 <LT {Rather}[Now] was it {his}[some of the Valar’s] counsel that each of {the Valar}them should now depart and dwell amid those things that he loved upon Earth, nor should any seek to extend his sway beyond its just boundaries.{ In this there was some covert reflection upon Manwe and Ulmo, but}But of the {Gods}[Valar] some {took his words in faith and} would use {his}[this] advice, but others {distrusted}[dissented]; and in the midst of their debate Ulmo arose and went to the Outermost Seas {that were set beyond the Outer Lands}. He loved not high words nor concourse of folk, and in those deep waters moveless and empty he purposed to dwell, leaving the governance of the Great and lesser seas to Ossë and {Onen}[Uinen] his vassals. Yet ever of his magic deep in his outermost sea-halls of Ulmonan he controlled the faint stirrings of the{ Shadowy} Seas, and ruled the lakes and springs and rivers of the world.>BoT-13.8 <LT It was the rede of Aulë and of his wife {Palurien}[Kementári], for they were the most grieved by the mischief of {Melko}[Melkor]'s turmoils{ and trusted his promises not at all}, that the {Gods}[Valar] should not separate{ as he bid}, lest {he}[Melkor] take it into his heart perchance to attack them singly or do hurt to their possessions. "Is he not," said they, "more powerful than any one of us{ save Manwe only}? Rather let us build a dwelling wherein we may abide in joy together, faring only at need to the care and survey of our goods and fiefs. There even such as be of other mind may dwell at times, and find rest and pleasance after labours in the world." Now Aulë's mind and fingers itched already to be making things, and he urged this matter the more for that; and to most of the {Gods}[Valar] it seemed a good counsel, and they fared about the world seeking a place to dwell in.> And{ there} upon the Isle of Almaren in the Great Lake was made the first dwelling of the {gods}[Valar] when all things were young, and new-made green was yet a marvel in the eyes of the makers{; and they were long content}.>BoT-15b<AAm {and}And that lake was between Illuin and Ormal in the midmost of Arda where, because of the blending of the lights, all things were richest in growth an fairest of hue. But the Valar were seldom there gathered in company, for ever they would fare abroad in Arda, each in his own business.

Originally Posted by gondowe

Perhaps now in this time Manwë and Melkor were equal and the Valar knew It?

I don't think this can be the case, since after this Melkor manages to destroy the Lamps and the Valar cannot overcome him. In any case, we know that the conception of Melkor's power is much greater in the later Legendarium than in the Lost Tales, so I think we should delete the phrase for safety.

[ArcusCalion]

It looks to me that we have resolved all of our points of contention for this chapter. Should we label it as semi-finished?

[gondowe]

I agree with the solution of Findegil in15b. For me thats well.
Greetings

[Findegil]

I see as well no open points any longer. But I have again found something that might be added:
- We missed the information which colure was used for which Lamp so fare. We could add it in this way:

BoT-13b <AAm Now the Valar began their labours anew; and when the lands and the waters were ordered the Valar had need of light, that the seeds of Yavanna's devising might grow and have life. BoT-14b <LQ, Of Valinor and the two Trees But since Melkor had perverted light to a destroying flame, when he was gone and his fires were subdued or buried beneath the primeval hills, there was need of light>. Aulë therefore wrought two great lamps, as it were of silver and of gold and yet translucent, and Varda filled them with hallowed fire, to give light to the Earth.> BoT-13.5 <Ainulindalë D {and}And the Valar set them upon high pillars, more lofty far than are any mountains of the later days. One lamp BoT-13.6 <editorial addition based on LT of silver >they raised near to the North of Middle-earth, and it was named {[Forontë >]} Illuin; and the otherBoT-13.7 <editorial addition based on LT of gold > was raised in the South, and it was named {[Hyarantë >]} Ormal; and the light of the Lamps of the Valar flowed out over the Earth, so that all was lit as it were in a changeless Day.

And a snippet to add again at the ofthrough of the Lamps:

BoT-21 <AAm But Melkor, trusting in the strength of Utumno and the might of his servants, came forth suddenly to war, and struck the first blow, ere the Valar were prepared. {And}<AAm* He came down like a black storm from the North, and> he assailed the lights of Illuin and Ormal, and he cast down their pillars, and broke their lamps, BoT-21.5 <Q30 and in the confusion of darkness he roused the seas against {their}the island[u[ of the Valar[/b].>. Then in the overthrow of the mighty pillars lands were broken and seas arose in tumult; and when the lamps were spilled destroying flame was poured out over the Earth. And the shape of Arda and the symmetry of its waters and its lands was marred in that time, so that the first designs of the Valar were never after restored.
In the confusion and the darkness Melkor escaped, though fear fell upon him; …

It might sound a bit redundant but it is the only clear statement that I could find of a direct attack of Melkor upon the Island of Almaren. That such an attack occurred is clear from the fact, that the dwelling of the Valar was “utterly destroyed".

Respectfully
Findegil

P.S.: If we all agree on this, the chapter would be finished instead of semi-finished.

[ArcusCalion]

I like both of these additions.