What do you assign to Mordor?

[Formendacil]

I send traffic jams to Mordor. I had to get from Whitehall to St Pancras inside 30 minutes this evening and lo and behold, the police had a road closed off so the taxi driver had to get me there on two wheels (which he achieved without major incident ;) ).

Should maybe send those taxi drivers to the Shire, eh? ;)

For myself, I'd also like to send bad traffic to Mordor. I was late for an doctor's appointment this morning, thanks to some bad traffic, and I was already in a less than happy mood about the whole affair thanks to a very early wake-up for it.

I'd also like to send the provincial road planners to Mordor. Why bother re-doing a highway and only widening the shoulders when everyone who drives on it says it needs another lane?

This is Alberta. If we can afford new pavement and wider shoulders, we could afford third lanes on our busiest highway...

Finally, I like to assign any Balrogs with Wings to Mordor simply because they don't belong in Moria or Angband. :D

[Kath]

I would like to send paranoia. Specifically my recently acquired paranoia about people online. One of my friends (who I only know via the net and not at all in real life since she lives in Manchester) wasn't online for a few days and I was just wondering where she was and it got me thinking, how would I know if she was hurt or something? What if she had been run over by a bus and killed? I would never know, all I would know is that she wasn't online anymore so I could surmise that something had happened to her but I would never really know. And then I thought that no, you would never know if someone you only knew via the internet died, because only they know their password to forums and instant messaging systems, and if they died suddenly then they wouldn't be able to tell anyone their password so we'd never know.

So yes I would like to assign that thought process that kept me awake all night and vaguely worried all day until said friend turned up on MSN this evening.

[wilwarin538]

I would like to send paranoia. Specifically my recently acquired paranoia about people online. One of my friends (who I only know via the net and not at all in real life since she lives in Manchester) wasn't online for a few days and I was just wondering where she was and it got me thinking, how would I know if she was hurt or something? What if she had been run over by a bus and killed? I would never know, all I would know is that she wasn't online anymore so I could surmise that something had happened to her but I would never really know. And then I thought that no, you would never know if someone you only knew via the internet died, because only they know their password to forums and instant messaging systems, and if they died suddenly then they wouldn't be able to tell anyone their password so we'd never know.

So yes I would like to assign that thought process that kept me awake all night and vaguely worried all day until said friend turned up on MSN this evening.

Oh but I've thought ahead. ;) I've hidden a little note in my bedroom with my username and password for the 'Downs. That way if anything ever happens to me when whoever cleans out my room finds it they'll know to tell you guys.

But of course if I die because my house burnt down, that might not work. :p

EDIT: Just realised, if something does happen to me, Glirdy will tell you all. So no need for the note. :rolleyes:

And to stay on topic: I assign computer problems to Mordor.

[littlemanpoet]

Finally, I like to assign any Balrogs with Wings to Mordor simply because they don't belong in Moria or Angband. :D

Now you've done it! Just wait till the first Assigned to Mordor rpg starts up, and lo and behold, what do they find in Cirith Ungol, with no Grey Wizard to battle it for them? :eek:

[Encaitare]

Okay, maybe bowling gets to stay. But evil bowling alleys have to go. I swear, they have turned me off the game completely with their malfunctioning computers and unhelpful help.

I had to get from Whitehall to St Pancras

I misread that as "St. Pancreas". :D

[Lhunardawen]

Finally, I like to assign any Balrogs with Wings to Mordor simply because they don't belong in Moria or Angband. :D

I just had a vision of The Saucepan Man, who is already in Mordor, pushing them out of the Black Gate.

I misread that as "St. Pancreas". Great minds think alike. ;)

As for me, I send dying prematurely to Mordor. Not that I can blame the phantom for it; after all, he explicitly mentioned that in the rules. Nor do I blame my church for holding me off from the Downs (far it be from me!). But it seems to me to be for the good of Erbar Telamarth, as I was preparing a case against an ordinary villager before I was killed. :eek:

[littlemanpoet]

The Assigned To Mordor (ATM for short) rpg is now in the planning phase. If you are interested, check this (http://www.forums.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=425253#post425253) out.

If you want to "apply", so to speak, look through this thread and make a list of all the ways you've been "assigned to Mordor", and also make a list of all the things you've assigned to Mordor. Pick from these two lists what you want to have be part of your story. For more information, I direct you to the thread listed above. Hope to see you there! :)

Send a PM to me with your "application". First 4 to 7 approved, and we begin.

Edit: Since there have as of yet been no additional posts, I'll add this, which I forgot to say earlier: This is a Shire rpg; in order to play in any Shire rpg, you need to present a character at The Green Dragon Inn, and you need to read and familiarize yourself with the "Red Book of Westmarch" Shire rpg rules.

If you've already presented a character and read the Red Book, then you can go straight to "applying" to be a character in ATM. (Sure hope this takes off....)

[littlemanpoet]

I assign bad architecture and office rooms full of cubicles that make every worker feel like s/he's a creature in some kind of weird sci fi exhibit, aliens oohing and aahing over this or that example of the human species. (I need these for the rpg too, so there) :p

[Celuien]

Advertisements in general have already been sent to Mordor, but I want to make sure that a few specific pet-peeve commercials don't miss the dump truck heading to the Morannon.


Commercials for weight-loss pills or exercise machines. They always seem to find to world's most obnoxious actors to be on the ads.
Pharmaceutical company ads. You know it's getting ridiculous when someone is advertising a particular type of hip implant on TV.
This commercial I heard on the radio the other day claiming that a certain company's fish oil supplement would cure high blood pressure and high cholesterol. But they didn't stop there. The ad went on to encourage everyone to stop taking their "liver damaging" medications for those conditions and take the all-natural oil instead. This isn't just a phony ad - substitute fish oil for snake oil - but dangerous if someone really decides to replace their meds with this product. Not that fish oil isn't good for you, because it is, but it's not going to fix these particular problems on its own. And all similar ads can go to Mordor along with this one.


*takes a deep breath*

I feel better now.

[Lalwendë]

I send to Mordor seaside rain. I suppose I couldn't guarantee sunshine in Whitby in October, but the minute we got there today it started pouring down, and a gale was whipping in off the North sea so that my hair went right up in the air like a three foot mohican. :mad: And there's only so much time you can spend in the pub/fish and chip restaurant/shops. Then when it cleared up it was so wet everywhere under foot I have salty tide marks on my boots and black feet from where all the water got in. It was also goth weekend, so there were hundreds of wet victorian undertakers about too; I always knew all those PVC coats and elevator boots had a more practical purpose. ;)

It was encouragingly English though. Nobody let the tempest stop them from eating ice cream and little trays of seafood, they just did it huddled in doorways. ;)

[Eonwe]

to build off Celuien:

marketing exectutive the world over. for:

1) selling us things we don't need
2) making things look cooler than they really are (i spent a fortune on toys i thought would be fun, but were really crappy as a kid)
3) getting people to buy things on credit, cuz that's just not smart

us: for being to gulible and stupid to resist buying things we don't need
thinking things are cooler than they really are
buying things on credit. ;)

[the guy who be short]

I send to Mordor people who randomly allocate blame to political correctness or bureaucracy. It's just plain daft when you see newspapers doing it (mind you, they are British tabloids).
E.g. Train prices rising? Bureaucracy gone mad!
Jamie Oliver's new school dinners? Political correctness!

I also assign sudden returns to school. My body won't want to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow. I can't make myself go to sleep at this absurdly early hour either. Sigh.

[Orominuialwen]

I assign people who confuse you so that you can't tell what they mean by their actions. They do something that seems to mean one thing, but then they tell you something completely contradictory the next time you see them. (The best part about this is that I have told this particular friend of mine that he has been assigned to Mordor several times, so he knows it when he bugs me.)

To Mordor with pointless homework assignments. What my social studies teacher could possibly think I'll learn by writing down definitions of terms such as 'density', 'right of way', and 'water table' is beyond me.

Also, classes where homework isn't checked every day, but instead all the assignments for the unit are checked in the form of a quiz at the end of a unit. This can lead to major procrastination and is just a general pain.

The book Ethan frome also belongs in Mordor. **Spoiler** Any book where characters decide to commit suicide by sledding into a tree is just plain dumb.

When you get the vague uncomfortable feeling that your friend's parents see you as rather odd and look down on you because your family isn't quite as 'normal' as theirs is. :( That should never happen outside of Mordor.

Edit: All the people on my robotics team two years ago who didn't want to name our robot Oliphaunt, but then whined that they didn't like the name we ended up with (Epsilon) and complained that nobody had suggested any other names. I'm still annoyed about that more than a year and a half later.

Losing/misplacing things.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

I consign to Mordor people who misuse the work assign.

*Fordim ducks flurry of heavy, pointed, objects *

[Kath]

Ah but Fordim we have already put nitpickers like yourself in Mordor!

I'll send going to the dentist. Especially when you just know the end result of such a trip will be a filling.

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

The book Ethan Frome also belongs in Mordor. **Spoiler** Any book where characters decide to commit suicide by sledding into a tree is just plain
dumb.


Oh, but I liked that book despite the ending. Sometimes things don't end up happily ever after. And besides, I don't think the orcs would get as much out of the story.

I consign building renovation where in cinder block must be sawed through, producing the same particular sound and chilling effect as a dental drill while one is trying to work, to the deepest, deepest depths of Mordor!

[Celebuial]

I'm gonna send grammer packing. English has always been my weak point (at school I did better at French and German), and I don't see why grammer is so important, if someone else understands what you mean surely that's enough for general everyday purposes. Then again it wouldn't do to have a book written with a sloppy use of grammer that would be annoying, and very confusing if english isn't your mother tongue... Ok, I'll refine my statement: I'm sending the overly pedantic use of grammer in eveyday conversation. I mean-you don't use grammer when leaving notes on the fridge, do you?

[the guy who be short]

I mean-you don't use grammer when leaving notes on the fridge, do you?You... don't? :eek:

I assign particularly difficult spellings, especially those which one can easily confuse. the -ent and -ant suffixes belong there, as do -ible and -able.

I also send maths lessons that take away my free periods, meaning I have to work for the whole day on Monday. That's just not a good way to start the week. :(

[Celebuial]

You... don't?
Well no... Normally it's just "get milk, n eggses" or "Who ate my tasty cheesecake that was enclosed yonder?" Though people don't tend to understand me... but that's just because I'm 'weird'

I totally agree with the evil spellings...

[Anguirel]

I'm gonna send grammer packing.

Celebuial, spelling and grammar have clearly formed an alliance against you-the one just saved the other from taking a trip to Mordor!

Pedantic teasing, sorry, had to be done...

[Celebuial]

Uh, huh... I think you're right Anguirel. They always pick on little old me... it's just not fair... my excuse is that I'm a scientist... we use maths to do most things and most mathematicians can't spell!

I think that house mates who won't play LotR Trivial Pursuit with you just because they know you'll win should be sent to Mordor... although maybe only for a short time, and maybe Little Man Poet can help them to get out quickly... but it was an expensive game and it's no fun in the box... mean people!

[littlemanpoet]

I consign to Mordor people who misuse the wor[d] assign.

*Fordim ducks flurry of heavy, pointed, objects *

I assign Fordim Hedgethistle to Mordor. So come and play at the rpg. Hmmmm...... I thought I got the "assign" word from Tolkien. ? ...

Just in case some of you are a mite bit intimidated by what seemed to be my elitist "you can't all play" post earlier on this thread, there's room for at least 4 more, and maybe 5 more players. I'll make it simple what you need to do:

1) make a list of the things you've assigned (consigned if you must) to Mordor.
2) make a list of the ways you've been assigned to Mordor.
3) create a character according to the Shire rpg rules, found in The Red Book of Westmarch (http://www.forums.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=10581) .
4) make a first post according to the Shire rpg rules, based on my first post on the Assigned to Mordor (http://www.forums.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=425858#post425858) planning thread.
5) PM the two lists, the character description, and first post, to littlemanpoet.

6) If you've never posted at the Green Dragon, you need to do that too, and will need to make a character to present there too.

So give it a shot. There's still room.

[Lalwendë]

I assign rubbish English trick or treaters to Mordor. I normally just ignore it all because frankly I don't want to hand all my loose change over to some kids who have made no more effort than to wear a mask from Poundland.

About an hour ago some 12 year olds just smashed off my front door bell (ironically as my TV, on nuclear volume, had just played the first scene of the Wookies roaring in Revenge of the Sith) and I chased after them in the car and shouted at them. davem says you could hear me shouting from right up the street. :eek: Maybe next year I will wear my cloak and get the staff and sword out and really scare them. :D

EDIT Don't I sound just like Victor Meldrew? :D

[Firefoot]

School.

That's probably already been assigned, somewhere, so I'll be a little more specific...

Teachers (that is, my English teacher) who assign huge projects and then don't let you know all the requirements, or change the requirements about three different times between the day the project is assigned and the due date - one of those times being on the due date. Doubly assigned to Mordor when they are excessively unhelpful and unreasonable when they know you've been having a lot of trouble with a part of the project. Triply assigned when the grading is absurdly hard (speaking objectively, here. Not even kidding), and the smallest errors merit monstrous deductions.

All homework, especially when all your teachers assign it on the same day. Especially when it's on the same day as when you have to be finishing (or revising... see above) projects.

Heavy backbacks (see above).

Memory lapses - in other words, forgetting material you need to study in your locker over the weekend.

Group projects - especially big ones.

The "no graphing calculator" rule in my math class. I don't even know how to use most of the capabilities! It's just a more comfortable calculator to use!

My art teacher, for being discriminant and having a very unyielding opinion of what art should be. Hasn't affected me so much, but there are definitely people in my class who should be getting higher grades...

I am not happy with school right now. At all.

[Kath]

No school would be fantastic but it's my own fault I'm going to be in serious amounts of trouble tomorrow with various different teachers. So I will assign procrastination. I have had a week to do, oh, 6 pieces of homework and I have done only the two I knew would take 5 minutes. So, you might be thinking, there's still today, and what am I doing? Anything but.

The moral of this story, anyone who is not yet in 6th form but is planning to go - do not use me as a role model, unless you are very very good at lying to teachers (fortunately I am!).

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I consign to Mordor people who misuse the work assign.
I consign people who misuse the word work. :p

[littlemanpoet]

assign: (1) to transfer (property) to another esp. in trust or for the benefit of creditors (2) a to appoint to a post or duty b prescribe (3) to fix authoritatively : specify (assign a limit) (4) to ascribe with assurance esp. as motive or reason.

consign: (1) to give over to another's care (2) to give, transfer, or deliver into the hands or control of another; also, to assign as a destination or end (3) to send or address to an agent to be cared for or sold.

I assign, and consign and co-sign and ensign and shmensign and when sin and then some, people who use dictionaries as if English is a dead language. This is settled. Both words work. I said so, it's my thread. nya nya nya. :D

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

I consign people who misuse the word work. :p

Fair 'nuf.

Hate to be the one to tell you lmp but English is a dead language: in England it's ossified, in America it's been replaced with something they call English but is really a tortured and brutalised version of the orginal, in Canada it's ignored, in Australia, New Zealand and India it's a museum piece of colonization.

Just about the only place in the world where English has any hold on life is in the West Indies where it's been joined with other languages and become an incredible and wonderful creole in which all rules are broken for the sake of aesthetic pleasure of words...

So I suppose I would conassign to Mordor anyone who thinks that it's incorrect to make up a new word! :D

[littlemanpoet]

Hate to be the one to tell you lmp but English is a dead language: in England it's ossified, in America it's been replaced with something they call English but is really a tortured and brutalised version of the orginal, in Canada it's ignored, in Australia, New Zealand and India it's a museum piece of colonization.

I did notice that in England the language is still very latinized compared to in the U.S. However, what you call tortured and brutalized betrays certain biases against culture groups that don't deserve it, such as Native, and African American. And if you are indeed a proponent of word creation within the English language, I don't know how you can square that with the contention that English is a dead language. It don't make sense! (and if you presume to correct the grammar of that last sentence, it figures, considering that you agitate for English being dead.) :cool:

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

I did notice that in England the language is still very latinized compared to in the U.S. However, what you call tortured and brutalized betrays certain biases against culture groups that don't deserve it, such as Native, and African American. And if you are indeed a proponent of word creation within the English language, I don't know how you can square that with the contention that English is a dead language. It don't make sense! (and if you presume to correct the grammar of that last sentence, it figures, considering that you agitate for English being dead.) :cool:

Au contraire the poet who is little, the destruction of English in the US is not being carried forward by Black American, Latinos or any of the other "minority" groups there -- it is being perpetrated by the oligarchs who run that benighted land. Two examples shall suffice:

1) The tendency to talk about people and human relations in corporate terms -- people "self-actualising" or groups "negotiating their position" relative to each other; "prioritizing" your life and taking your children out to their "play-group" for some "directed quality time", etc...

2) The insistence by government on making up simple terms with which to encapsulate complex ideas and issues: "weapons of mass destruction" (the bad things other people have, unlike the biological/chemical/nuclear arsenal we have); "insurgents" (not rebels); "homeland security"; "the war on terror"; "the war on drugs"; and on and on and on....

It would be so refreshing, and more than a little honest, to see President Bush stand up in front of the microphone and declare, "Me and my dogs is gonna pop a cap up the *** of any ******-****** who comes rock our crib! Gonna air out their *** with some kick-*** hardware, y'hear!"

Oh...to get back on topic:

I conassign to Mordor anyone who uses more than two acronyms in the same sentence.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Because I'm Fea and that means that I can do anything, I'm going to remove my beloved Americanized English from Mordor and pack it in bubble paper to be Fed-Ex'ed at first chance to the Shire. Though I feel that I must leave the phrase "bust a cap" in the Dark Land... it's just too funny not to incorporate into AtM.

[Oddwen]

I would like to see the following annoyances and perturbances Sent to Mordor:

The gunk left in the sink when you're done washing dishes.

The gunk that you find in the sink while you're washing dishes.

The gunk people leave on their plates when it's your turn to do the dishes.

When you're washing dishes and you have to leave off suddenly, and the nasty cold water drips down your elbows.

The job of dishes in general.

Plain potato chips. I can't live without my flavas.

The "ghetto" or "gangsta" look. Sorry, but it's just silly looking...

Mike's costume this year. C'mon man, you weren't even trying!

Stalling a standard car in the middle of an intersection...yeah, embarassing.

And waiting rooms (or lack therof) inside car repair shops.

[Lalwendë]

Hate to be the one to tell you lmp but English is a dead language: in England it's ossified,

Maybe ye olde British Daily Mail reader would argue with that. The new developments in our language as demonstrated in the OED Language Report (http://www.askoxford.com/pressroom/archive/thelanguagereport/) are usually held up as some kind of example of the decline of the UK, just one more step to having us all happyslapped in our beds by chavs and pikeys. :eek:

I'd agree with this:

1) The tendency to talk about people and human relations in corporate terms -- people "self-actualising" or groups "negotiating their position" relative to each other; "prioritizing" your life and taking your children out to their "play-group" for some "directed quality time", etc...

2) The insistence by government on making up simple terms with which to encapsulate complex ideas and issues: "weapons of mass destruction" (the bad things other people have, unlike the biological/chemical/nuclear arsenal we have); "insurgents" (not rebels); "homeland security"; "the war on terror"; "the war on drugs"; and on and on and on....

But this kind of 'language' is dreamed up by committees of middle class, frustrated graduates who found that their dreams of being the next editor of the Observer were all to end in civil servitude. It is then perpetuated by their underlings who are too afraid to challenge the notion that they are no longer a person, nor even personnel, but simply, and sadly, a 'resource', like a ream of paper or perhaps a box of buff envelopes. :(

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

But this kind of 'language' is dreamed up by committees of middle class, frustrated graduates who found that their dreams of being the next editor of the Observer were all to end in civil servitude. It is then perpetuated by their underlings who are too afraid to challenge the notion that they are no longer a person, nor even personnel, but simply, and sadly, a 'resource', like a ream of paper or perhaps a box of buff envelopes. :(

Hey Mithalwen, is this true....? :p :D

[littlemanpoet]

Au contraire the poet who is little, the destruction of English in the US is not being carried forward by Black American, Latinos or any of the other "minority" groups there -- it is being perpetrated by the oligarchs who run that benighted land. Two examples shall suffice:

1) The tendency to talk about people and human relations in corporate terms -- people "self-actualising" or groups "negotiating their position" relative to each other; "prioritizing" your life and taking your children out to their "play-group" for some "directed quality time", etc...

2) The insistence by government on making up simple terms with which to encapsulate complex ideas and issues: "weapons of mass destruction" (the bad things other people have, unlike the biological/chemical/nuclear arsenal we have); "insurgents" (not rebels); "homeland security"; "the war on terror"; "the war on drugs"; and on and on and on....

It would be so refreshing, and more than a little honest, to see President Bush stand up in front of the microphone and declare, "Me and my dogs is gonna pop a cap up the *** of any ******-****** who comes rock our crib! Gonna air out their *** with some kick-*** hardware, y'hear!"

Oh...to get back on topic:

I conassign to Mordor anyone who uses more than two acronyms in the same sentence.

Ah! So you're talking about political-ese. I quite agree. Euphemism to sell something hard to stomach. Lor' please bring back the rhetoric of a Winston Churchill (we shall stand on the beaches, in the cities, etc.) or at least a Roosevelt (nothing to fear but fear itself), or at the very least a Reagan (make my day).

But don't blame all Americans for this guy in the White House who doesn't know how to talk! :eek:

Edit: And I hereby conassign the above italicized terms and what they mean to Mordor.

[Mithalwen]

Hey Mithalwen, is this true....?


Which bit?

I hate the term Human resources certainly. At least "Personnel" emphasised the person. Human resources make me think of that Dilbert cartoon which says that "we were wrong all the time we said that our employees were our most important resource... paperclips are our most important resource. .."

I suppose to quote the title of one of those books I should have read for my degree "Language change - process or decay?". I would lean to the decay side. I find soundbite politics depressing. I have sat in at a meeting this week contucted almost entirely in cliche. Can someone explain what an "iterative" (?) process is? On second thoughts, please don't. Meanwhile, I received an e-mail from someone who said "I have got round the problem by frigging my sheet". Either that has homophonous/polysemic aspects of which I was previously unaware or it was random information that caused me to choke on the completely foul coffee.

I would admit to being part of the decline. I have been fascinated by language as long as I can remember. I have a couple of degrees in English and yet, I have wobbly spelling and a fairly hazy grasp of the finer points of punctuation. My writing style is generally stream of consciousness.

Even bearing this in mind, I am shocked by the level of literacy and knowledge displayed by many youngsters who are clearly intelligent (not the ones I meet on the downs) and occasionally by the inability of people earning about four times what I do to write a coherent letter.

Language is the thing that distinguishes us as a species. It is a powerful force for political control. Synchronic and diachronic linguistics mirror the history of the world.

I live in a society where, to speak english correctly opens you up to ridicule, where we are governed by a man who, despite a privileged education, cannot articulate the word "government", where the education system has been debased and tinkered with ..... Soon English will be preserved by highly literate foreigners while the natives regress to communicate in grunts.

Yet there are a few bright spots - maybe all is not lost when cockney slang can contrive "Listerine" mean anti-american. There are some glorious neologisms like "chuddies". Otherwise, I might join with my old lecturer's campaign to revive what he termed "perfectly good words that have fallen out of use". I am possibly a hopeless case, having had an upbringing in the " A lounge is something they have in hotels, darling" mould :D and consequently a rather miserable time at the rather rough comprehensive school I attended. I learnt too late the need to be bilingual in myown language.... :rolleyes:

Ah well..... what was the question...?

[Gothmog]

Speaking of language, I'd like to send the english-latin mumbojumbo I have to read every day to Mordor. Words like Oligodendrogliocyt, adrenocorticotropic hormone, schlerenchyma, morphogenesis or phytoremediation... Does that sound sane to you?

And to all of you english speaking persons sending grammar or spelling to this and that dark place, think of us non-native english speakers. We've got to learn at least two languages to manage in this world: our own and yours. Not that I try to imply that you have an easy time in school or that we are so much brighter than you (that's up to each and everybody to decide ;) ). I guess I'm just looking for some sympathy :) . I don't want to send learning english to the Land of Shadows, but I agree in sending spelling, english or whatever language, and grammar to Mordor.

Not much of a consistent or coherent post this, is it? Halfway I started to wonder what it was I thought of in the beginning :(

[Eonwe]

well, i send irregular verbs in whatever language (if they're not there already) to mordor. what good is grammar (rules!) if you can disregard them sometimes! :p

[littlemanpoet]

Here's an alphabetical list of what was assigned to Mordor on the first 5 pages of this thread. Enjoy the review, or skip it if you prefer.

alarm clocks
algebra
American spelling
apostrophe mis-users
ATMs
authors of 'bad-ism' allegories
bad weather
'Big Brother' television
black licorice
boredom
British spelling
British television miniseries
British transportation system
Britney Spears
budget cuts
busy-work
CAPs lockers
'Caucasian' used to categorize or describe white people
celebrity magazines
cell phones
chapped lips
'chavs'
chewing gum spat out, covering pavement
cigarettes
cigarette smokers
cold viruses
comic sans font
computer viruses
conjunctivitis
corsets
country music
dangling prepositions
deadlines
diamonds
drivers who ignore pedestrians
empty tubes of chap stick
dentists
depression
dirty dishes
Disney
dog clothes
dogs that can't be housebroken
door to door sales people
double negatives
early classes
emergency rooms
English
fan fiction
final exams
fish
flash software
flat tires
food poisoning
frat parties
frog ring tones
fume and stench
furry animals
geometry
German
getting up early
government trying to improve people
ground spitters
guys who think pretty girls are always dumb
'have got'
heavy traffic
hot weather
i.b. exam (?)
ignorant fools
inability to turn down food dares
inconsiderate customers
incorrect written use of your and you're
incorrect written use of its and it's
intolerant people
Jamesian English speakers
know nothing nurses
lack of published Quenya
lawn mowing
lemmings
liability paranoids
library freeloaders
lima beans
long road trips
Mary Sues
math
men who proposition random girls
mice
mobile phones
'my bad'
'myself and ______'
nagging mothers
news report sound bites
nightmares
nonstandard word users
nuclear bombs
'nuculer'
'official Wendy's guy'
off-topic posts
overzealous political correctness
parents who name their kids badly
people always in a rush
people who are easily offended
people who are horrified by 'weird' food combinations
people who are overly worried about offending others
people who hate white chocolate
people who pay with change
people who say 'it's not rocket science'
people with gender double standards
perverts
political correctness
political correctness ignoramuses
politicians
Portuguese men of war
possums
pretentious pronunciations
pretentious silent letters
pretentious pronunciation of foreign words and phrases
PT Cruisers
purple ketchup
queue cutters
rabbit bites
raccoons
racism
rap music
reality television
red food coloring
religious fundamentalist terrorists
rising gas prices
road rage
SAT supporters
scary professors
shrieking early birds
slugs
snorers
snotty Sarumans
snotty upperclassmen
soap operas
soccer
spell checkers
spider bites
spyware
squirrels
standard English
stupid people
summer reading books
tax code writers
tax collectors
thongs
tomato hornworms
unfriendly computers
unpredictable kilns
vectors
vomit
war
watered down drinks
Wednesdays
white chocolate
Yankees announcers
year-long redundant teachers
Yoda


--------um, that tomato one is something I'll need to go back and figure out, because I couldn't read my own writing ..... unless one of you remembers and can tell me. :p

So just to keep this in the spirit of the thread, I assign to Mordor my own sloppy writing that I can't read later. :D

[radagastly]

I did a search. I think it was Tomato Hornworms posted by Oddwen. I'm not sure what tomato hornworms are, but they sound like they belong in Mordor.

[Oddwen]

They're big, waxy, green, horrid, fat, ugly caterpillars (http://www.colostate.edu/Depts/CoopExt/4DMG/Pests/tomato.htm) that can bite. Oh gross, I just found a recipe (http://www.olympus.net/dggordon/EatASample.htm)...bring the Mordor-bound truck around, there's another shipment ready...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I hereby officially and very pointedly assign:

Skwerls and Deus Ex Machina.

See AtM Planning Thread for an explanation. :D

[Lalwendë]

I'm sending excessively stupid people to Mordor, or more specifically, excessively stupid people who earn far higher wages than I do.

Yesterday I got to work and found an e-mail from someone who earns approximately 3.5 times more salary than I do. It was in response to an e-mail inviting said person to a meeting and furnishing them with all necessary details and papers. The instructions could not have been more clear had I gone and gently led them by the hand to the meeting themselves. The reply I received simply said "whens the meetin" (sic). If I could get approximately 3.5 times my salary for sitting behind a desk and going "nurrrrrr" while drooling then I would. However, said e-mail was sent at 6.40am, so clearly being willing (or stupid enough) to get up and get to work before the milkman has even started his rounds negates any lack of brain cells.

I am not sending to Mordor my excess of sarcasm. ;)

[littlemanpoet]

...so I'm adding this handy list, compliments of the phantom:

* People who "don't get" Strong Bad.
* People who "don't get" fantasy or sci-fi.
* People who drive really slow and stop at corners that don't have stop signs and generally act lost.
* Pedestrians who walk in the street when there is a perfectly good sidewalk ten feet away.
* All cats, except ones with no claws that can play without biting and come when you call them.
* People who think popularity equals quality.
* People who think everyone should get out and vote, even the people (about 40% of voters) who couldn't tell you who's running for what office, who the current vice president is, or what the capital of their state is.
* And yes, all you Brits, I just insinuated that soccer is the official sport of Mordor.
* I declare that all people who think Republicans should go to Mordor should go to Mordor themselves.
* I imagine Mordor's official television station runs nothing but soaps.
* People who are easily offended should go to Mordor.
* And also, people who are constantly worried about offending someone should go to Mordor, too.
* I believe I will send going to work on Saturday to Mordor.
* Anyway, off to Mordor with all teens who don't understand that parents see their children as extensions of their own bodies and souls, and are just as interested in and worried about their children as they are themselves, and want to spare their children as many bumps and bruises, physical and emotional, as possible, and help their children be better at everything than they were when they were young.
* But, people who tailgate when you are going the speed limit or above... yes, indeed, they should go to Mordor.
* So I say, off to Mordor with easy driving tests!
* I send working any time before noon to Mordor!!

[the guy who be short]

I'm sending excessively stupid people to Mordor, or more specifically, excessively stupid people who earn far higher wages than I do.I send to Mordor discrimination against the stupid. :p Nobody chooses their intellect, or we'd all be geniuses, with the possible exception of chavs.

[littlemanpoet]

I did a search. I think it was Tomato Hornworms posted by Oddwen. I'm not sure what tomato hornworms are, but they sound like they belong in Mordor.
Thanks for the assist, radagastly! :) (forgot to say that earlier, sorry)

[Glirdan]

I send siblings who get up at aproximately 6:30am in the morning. GRR!!! I swear, my sister got up that early just to anger me and if that's what her plan was, then she acheved it. :mad:

Edit: I noticed what I said earlier and decided to change it seeing as there are young ones around. Sorry to everyone for that.

[Lalwendë]

I send to Mordor discrimination against the stupid. Nobody chooses their intellect, or we'd all be geniuses, with the possible exception of chavs.

I believe there was no excuse in this case - as said person was in a position of responsibility. I'm much lower in the pecking order, so I'm the one allowed to be stupid. :p

[the guy who be short]

I believe there was no excuse in this case - as said person was in a position of responsibility. I'm much lower in the pecking order, so I'm the one allowed to be stupid.Why not compromise and send the system that allows less intelligent people into positions of authority to Mordor? I mean, surely we should have a strictly Feudal society, based on intelligence according to tests taken at birth, with the phantom as our leader? :p

[The Only Real Estel]

Being told that I have to do something.

I might have actually wanted to do that thing, I might've already been heading off to do it; but nine times out of ten, as soon as you tell me I have to do it I really don't want to.

[Kath]

I might have actually wanted to do that thing, I might've already been heading off to do it; but nine times out of ten, as soon as you tell me I have to do it I really don't want to.
Yes TORE that's it exactly! Like if a parent tells you to go do your homework when you were planning on doing just that in about 5 minutes, you immediately feel put upon and don't do it.

[Celuien]

I send siblings who get up at aproximately 6:30am in the morning. GRR!!! I swear, my sister got up that early just to p0iss me off and if that's what her plan was, then she acheved it. :mad:

Looks like I'm in Mordor...again. 6:30 is sleeping in for me.

I assign dirty bathrooms, especially when I have to clean them.

[Orominuialwen]

Sexist radio hosts who assume that you don't know anything about sports or talk radio just because you're young and female. (I do know much less about sports than the average listener of that show, but still a lot more than the average girl my age.)



Having to get up early on weekends.

[the guy who be short]

Computers that keep breaking down.

The fact that Britain has no decent festival to celebrate with fireworks, so we instead celebrate the fact that, 400 years ago, a man failed to blow up a monarch so that said monarch was able to continue his horrendous persecution of Catholics. :rolleyes: Makes so much sense, celebrating that, you know. I feel like partying just mentioning it.

[Bêthberry]

Computers that keep breaking down.

The fact that Britain has no decent festival to celebrate with fireworks, so we instead celebrate the fact that, 400 years ago, a man failed to blow up a monarch so that said monarch . . . .

You know, I've always thought of Guy Fawke's Day as a very clever bit of nose-thumbing at a thoroughly entrenched monarchial system, similar to the telling and preservation of the Robin Hood legends. Or the Carnival that has almost died out in Europe. Events that aren't dogmatically enfranchised by some ideology or political celebration, like our Thanksgiving or national birthdays--a teensy bit anarchic. But then, I've never participated in such events.

I suppose I must keep this on-topic, though, eh?

To Mordor, to Mordor, I send irresponsible pet owners over. People who walk their dogs without 'stooping and scooping.' People who let said dogs defile sandboxes in children's playgrounds. People who turn the entire country into dog runs. People who... oh, alright. I guess you get the idea.

[the phantom]

Sexist radio hosts who assume that you don't know anything about sports or talk radio just because you're young and female.
:p
Though I'm not a radio host, I am guilty of the same thing.

But really, can you blame me? The fact is, a majority of the young ladies I know roll their eyes at sports. The only reason they would ever open a sports page is to see if there are any "cute guys" in it.

And so, since that is what I am used to, you can't accuse me of being unfair when I assume a young lady doesn't know anything about sports. That's the way the world works, m'dear.

If you get slow service at a certain restaurant 75% of the time, it is logical to walk into the restaurant expecting slow service. That's not an unreasonable expectation, nor is the expectation of girls not being sports savvy unreasonable.

You just have to prove that the expectation is wrong in your case. Personally, I love bumping into a girl who disproves the sports stereotype. I wish there were more of you.

[Kath]

Or the Carnival that has almost died out in Europe.
We still have it! And it's great fun. A procession all round the town followed by a fair and fireworks. I used to be in it pretty much every year but no longer :( And speaking of the Carnival I assign being too ill to walk because I missed it this year due to that! I meant to post that long ago but I think I forgot.

[the guy who be short]

I know politicians have already been sent to Mordor (by myself, nonetheless! [or should that be me?]) but I really must send in particular the much-overused Tory phrase "cutting red tape." What exactly does red tape mean? Free transport services for the elderly? Free milk for schoolchildren? The NHS?!

Gah. I feel like attacking David Cameron. With something blunt.

[The Only Real Estel]

Hearing "because you don't need to."

If I want to go to a movie or something and the only reason against it is "you don't need to" my blood pressure rises really quickly. Whether I need to or not is completely relative. "You don't need to" is not a reason & therefore shouldn't be offered as one.

Heck, I didn't need to go on this mini rant here. But it sure felt good...;)

[littlemanpoet]

I know politicians have already been sent to Mordor (by myself, nonetheless! [or should that be me?]) but I really must send in particular the much-overused Tory phrase "cutting red tape." What exactly does red tape mean? Free transport services for the elderly? Free milk for schoolchildren? The NHS?!

A few years ago I toured the American Revolution Barracks in Trenton, New Jersey, where a heck of a history buff of a tour guide revealed that Official Documents, such as orders from a military superior, were placed in envelopes, then wrapped with red tape to distinguish them from other missives. So a humble army officer had to 'cut the red tape' in order to read the important official missive. I suppose the same practice was used across the sea.

To Mordor: too much to do and not enough time to do it.

[Anguirel]

Partly to irritate tgwbs a wee bit, and partly to fly my true political colours, I send David Davis to Mordor, reassign David Cameron to Minas Tirith and firmly place Boris Johnson on Taniquetil...

[Lalaith]

I assign to Mordor that running-fingernails-down- the- blackboard rhetorical question, "How xxxx is that?" For years I've been waiting for it to die a death but still it flourishes. Even some of my best and most well-educated friends have been infected. Arrgh......How annoying is that? ;)

[Lhunardawen]

Speaking of language, I'd like to send the english-latin mumbojumbo I have to read every day to Mordor. Words like Oligodendrogliocyt, adrenocorticotropic hormone, schlerenchyma, morphogenesis or phytoremediation... Does that sound sane to you? Of course, they do. Celuien, push them out of Mordor, will you? :D

[Celuien]

Of course, they do. Celuien, push them out of Mordor, will you? :D


Sure thing. But those words weigh a ton. I'll have to spend some time working on inducing hypertrophy of my upper extremity rhabdomyocytes before I can manage it. :D

Mismatched socks and socks with holes in the toe belong in Mordor.

[littlemanpoet]

Here's the list from pages 6 through 10. Sheesh! You guys were busy over these five pages :eek: ...as if I had nothing to do with it! :rolleyes:

6 am flights
6th Form
ache that comes from flossing after a long hiatus
acute paranoia
adjectives used in place of adverbs
adults who do not remember how it is to be young
adults who think moody teenagers care about the difficulties of being a parent
adults who think teens' negative thought are due to hormones and moodiness alone
Adware
after-date paranoia
airports
allergic conjunctivitis
allergies and all of their varied symptoms
annoying English teachers
annoying guys who provide the voiceovers at the end of infomercials and commercials
anything boring
anything that keeps one from playing WW games
apathetic English teachers
attempting to accomplish Orkish havoc characterized as "doing nothing"
attendance office at school with wrong information
Axe-murderers (in a soon to be released ATM near you....)
bad email software
bad habits
bad thinking behind banning computer access while allowing long phone calls
bad translations
Bags of candy that come to an end too soon
Balrog Wingers
banning of the internet
Bar chords...hardest notes to play on the guitar
being bashful around people you know you'll get on excellent with
being introverted
Being left at school because answering machine didn't work right
Being Forbidden from entering The Barrowdowns
being out of clean clothes
being too sick to flirt (watch out, ATM ladies - 'she was just about to flirt with the cute boy when suddenly she felt sick enough to puke')
Biology Lab partner who looks down your blouse
black flies
blisters from unbroken argyle flats
blisters from unbroken flip flops
blisters from wearing huge boots
Books that look interesting on the covers but are not inside.
books written by Roald Dahl
boring English teachers
Braces
Breast cancer
bugs
Bullies
bus drills in gym class where they make you jump off the back of the bus
canonicity
CaptainofDespair (cameo role?)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (book & movies)
children who cannot see how much they mean to their parents
classes where everybody's opinion is different from yours
classes you hate but still do well in
"classy heels" required for business attire
Coke
colds
Cold snaps
college applications
college applications as more important than wreaking Orkish havoc in an RPG
college dorm parties
college placement tests
Collegiate insomnia
computer game which does not let you save your progress whenever you want
computers that screw up while using them
constipation
'cope'
Creepy teachers
criticism about, not to, a person
crystal clear bad memories
customer service departments that keep you on hold a little bit longer than forever
Customs checks
Declaring feelings to somebody and them not returning them
democracy
Department of Motor Vehicles
diarrea (you ATM players are really in for it!)
difference between English and American spelling
distributors of speed cameras
dog bites
dogs that bite (mean, nasty, clothes wearing dogs that bite in ATM)
Dread Backspace Button Of Doom ... which works like internet 'back' command
dread from finding a check you thought you mailed to pay a bill
drivers who drive through a flood at top speed
elastic bands in braces
English classes
Eomer of the Rohirrim (cameo role?)
errant pronunciations of the name "Bach"
ex-boyfriends
excess mucous
Excess phlegm (and I mean, really in for it!)
extroverts who try to make conversation when you are not in the mood
evil, sarcastic, sadistic teachers
facial spots
fathers who think they know everything about computers & delete your programs
Films based on books that radically alter storylines
finding a whole chick pea lurking in your braces 6 hours after your last meal
- (what's a british youth doing with braces? has there been a dental revolution in England?)
Flies
flight delays
forgetting how to draw
Forgetting what you wanted to post
French teacher
Frodo and Sam with cameo roles in LMP's Mordor RP
fruitcakes
general heat
Generic, uninventive Tolkien fanfiction
geography teachers
getting a paragraph in reply to a five page letter
getting lynched on the first Day of Werewolf
girls that claim to be LOTR fans because of Legolas
going to bed when it's light out
going to work on Saturday
halitosis (bad breath caused by gingivitis)
having no common language
having the wrong textbook with a looming test
having to share a laundry facility with 140 women
havng to wait until LMP says so to watch that madly fun sounding RP unfold
hayfever
headaches
Heatwaves
history of language
Hollywood
Hollywood and its fruitcakes
Homework
hovering parents
huge workloads
human tongue
hundred degree greenhouse
Hurricanes
hurting knees
hypocritical parents
Idiotic bees
inability to breathe
institutional food
inventor of shoes that are loose around the ankles but tight on the toes
irrational fear of phone calls
Johnny Depp (cameo?)
JK Rowling (cameo?)
'kotex fits. period' (billboards in ATM)
lack of the Assigned to Mordor RPG (now that would be weird!)
leaches
Level 81 in the Pit of 100 Trials in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
lima beans
litter
litterbugs
local press
Locker combinations that get stuck
Lord of the Rings note books ... sold out
mandatory meeting right after sweaty excerise
Mario
medication tolerance
men who hit women
Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones (is there an intelligent way of doing it?)
migraines
misused homophones
modern world's way of taking all the fun out of life
monosodium glutimate
Mosquitos
Multiple lynching in Werewolf (need to work this into ATM somehow...)
nagging parents
nagging thoughts you realize you should have listened to
neighbours who put up large aluminum sheds which block all sun from your garden
New computers
nights when there is a full moon (so it's always a full moon in Mordor)
noisy air conditioners
not being in the same class with your friends
Not having enough time for PMs
offspring who don't understand the difficulties of being a parent
Once respectable people who sell their soul by acting in lousy commercials
online college application forms
osteopaths who try to crush you
Overplayed songs
Packing
pain from first ever dance class
papercuts
parents
parents and their children
parents who think that you're nervous about leaving for college in the morning when you're not
Parents who abuse their children
parents who brag about their children
parents who cannot understand their children
People on IM who sign in and out repeatedly
People who believe that they are the only important beings in the universe
people who claim that the advert breaks are no louder than the programmes
people who don't turn up for meetings they set
People who don't understand introverts
people who repeatedly don't show up when you invite them
people who give away spoilers to books and movies without warning
people who have no regard for others
People who litter instead of using a trash can 15 feet away
people who make fun of people with asthma
people who pronounce it Ray-min noodles
people who spill liquor wantonly
people who spit gum out on to the pavement
people who think that a Straight Edge lifestyle means you've got a gang mentality
people who use personal grief as an excuse to treat other peple badly
people who wearing sockless sandals bring small space heaters to warm up the space under their desks
people you thought were your friends stabbing you in the back
permanent paranoia of law enforcement officers
Personal statements on college applications
Phonetics
Phys. Ed. teachers who ignore the fact of your asthma
piles of wet tissues that come with allergies
pimples
Pineapple
political correctness
pop drinkers
pop-up ads
Practice job interviews with your parents
pretentious use of silent letters
process by which one's wisdom teeth are removed
procrastination
Psychics
pushy and angsty cousins
Quadratic Function
rabbits
Rap music
really heavy textbooks
repair shops that are behind schedule
ridiculous conspiracy theories
ridiculous conspiracy theorists
Road Construction during the worst time of the year
Roald Dahl
role of Ranger in werewolf
Rumor-mongering
rumors that idiots spread
'sanguine'
Saturday morning classes
Sauron's finger and its army
SAVEs
school districts that separate best friends to different schools
school uniform
school when it is absolutely pointless
Screwing up a simple drawing
skinned knees
Slipping on garbage left by others in streets
slivers
social conventions of enduring arrogant people with politeness
Soda & coke drinkers
Sore throats
SPAM
Speed cameras
splinters
spoilt kids that howl on the street
sports physicals
Standard Of Learning tests that force teachers to teach "to the test"
stereotypers
strip searches at airports
stubbed toes
students who insist on coming to school when they are sick
summer air conditioning that is set far, far too cold
sunburn
sweat patches
Teachers who don't make maths interesting and explain it properly
teenagers
teens who don't understand that parents see their children as extensions of themselves
Telemarketers who switch the long-distance service you've told them you're happy with
telemarketing companies
telephones
terrorists
text books that cost over a hundred bucks a piece and that they have no used versions of
The Saucepan Man (cameo role?)
thieves
thoughts that won't get properly organized to post a serious post to a Books thread
Tooth fillings that begin to peel off
traveling
trying to figure out where to go to University
UCAS applications
unidentified phone caller
unnecessary aspects of plot
used Handkerchiefs
vacation being over
VIRUSES
Warranties that expire right before something breaks down
water that accidentally gets inhaled
wet used handkerchief in your pocket
When you really like a thread but can't think of anything to say
whoever decided to make Lucius Malfoy so attractive in the Harry Potter films
windshield wiper blades that always streak in the line of vision (the orcs behind the wheel driving cars - with flat tires - too fast in Mordor should love this)
'witch' at the other end of the office
worries that pick at the mind whether traveling will be safe
worst subjects all in the same semester
Yellow cars (and all PT Cruisers at that!)
"You are judged by the company you keep." (to be on billboards in Mordor)

[Kath]

:D Obviously we just like complaining.

I want to add pens that don't work. Or better actually ones that look like they're going to work long enough to let you write 20 words or so and then run out halfway through so you have to start again because it's some form that demands it all be written in black. So, of course, you also have to raid the house for another black pen!

[the guy who be short]

(what's a british youth doing with braces? has there been a dental revolution in England?)What's that meant to me, good sir? :eek: We do have dental care you know. And it's free*.

Minor point: I sent improper Jamesian English to Mordor, not correct Jamesian English. Unless missed somthing and somebody else sent it.

*Well... you know what I mean. Other people pay for it, not me. :D

[Lalwendë]

A few years ago I toured the American Revolution Barracks in Trenton, New Jersey, where a heck of a history buff of a tour guide revealed that Official Documents, such as orders from a military superior, were placed in envelopes, then wrapped with red tape to distinguish them from other missives. So a humble army officer had to 'cut the red tape' in order to read the important official missive. I suppose the same practice was used across the sea.

Nowadays we have no actual red tape (the stationery budget will not stretch to this, though it sounds quite pretty and reminiscent of a bygone era :( ) but we do have the ominous and intangible 'red box'. This is a yawning virtual receptacle, much like the Void, which must be filled, via e-mail, with papers for the weekend; said papers always seem to be requested at 2pm on a Friday afternoon. To Mordor with the Red Box!

How to be a civil servant (http://www.civilservant.org.uk/) may not sound like an exciting read (understatement of the year), but it explains everything in all its behemothic glory, and has a particularly nice (and extremely accurate) humour section about jargon and corporate English. :D

I know politicians have already been sent to Mordor (by myself, nonetheless! [or should that be me?]) but I really must send in particular the much-overused Tory phrase "cutting red tape." What exactly does red tape mean? Free transport services for the elderly? Free milk for schoolchildren? The NHS?!

I second that this ought to go to Mordor. What this actually means is that all junior staff who do the leg work (i.e. answering your queries and processing your forms) get brigaded into agencies which are then privatised - it appears that numbers have been cut back drastically, but who is paying the newly privatised agencies for the work? Hmmm, it does not take a genius to work that one out (which is possibly a good thing considering my post yesterday :D ). Sadly, costs are then cut by paying already low paid staff even less, and there is less control over quality and service.

Outsourcing belongs in Mordor.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Oooh, you just wait for this new piece of disgruntlement. And it's not even for the RP, it's because I'm actually disgruntled! Our showers were perfect! Blasting hot with the kind of pressure that could relax the knotted muscles of a gorilla. And yet, mysteriously, our water pressure has disappeared. When it takes at least ten minutes to rinse shoulder length hair, and that's with conscious effort involved... and when, completely inexplicably, your shower turns cold half way through it and then mysteriously turns burning hot... way to start the day. I assign mysteriously tempermental, though once perfect, showers.

[littlemanpoet]

What's that meant to me, good sir? :eek: We do have dental care you know. And it's free*.

Minor point: I sent improper Jamesian English to Mordor, not correct Jamesian English. Unless missed somthing and somebody else sent it.

*Well... you know what I mean. Other people pay for it, not me. :D

Ah, but you're the first English individual I ever heard of actual using the free dental service.

[Kath]

Ah, but you're the first English individual I ever heard of actual using the free dental service.
I used it! I had braces! But I won't assign them because they made my teeth nice and straight.

I will assign printers that have been working perfectly all day and then refuse to print out the bit of work you desperately need for tomorrow! Argh!

[Celebuial]

(what's a british youth doing with braces? has there been a dental revolution in England?)
My ex boyfreind wore braces and so did his sister... but they paid for them (one parent was a nurse and the other in charge of a whole hospital). However I do know lots of people who have or have had braces...

Us brits do use the free dental care we get; we're just not overly obsessive with it unlike our friends across the pond it would seem!!!

I'm going to send having to wait weeks for an apointment at the hospital to Mordor.My doc has no-idea whats wrong with me so he refered me to a specialist. I'm still waiting to be seen... I mean I'm ill and in serious amounts of pain a lot of the time and I've missed lots of lectures and failed to hand in assignments that count towards my final grade and I still haven't got an appointment!!!!

[Orominuialwen]

:p
Though I'm not a radio host, I am guilty of the same thing.

But really, can you blame me? The fact is, a majority of the young ladies I know roll their eyes at sports. The only reason they would ever open a sports page is to see if there are any "cute guys" in it.

And so, since that is what I am used to, you can't accuse me of being unfair when I assume a young lady doesn't know anything about sports. That's the way the world works, m'dear.

If you get slow service at a certain restaurant 75% of the time, it is logical to walk into the restaurant expecting slow service. That's not an unreasonable expectation, nor is the expectation of girls not being sports savvy unreasonable.

You just have to prove that the expectation is wrong in your case. Personally, I love bumping into a girl who disproves the sports stereotype. I wish there were more of you. Yes, but I know you can't possibly be as bad as this guy was. I was a regular caller to the show long before that host came along (the previous ones were much cooler) and I even won prizes for my sports-related song parodies. (I once wrote a particularly good one about Randy Moss to the tune of Bad moon on the Rise. :p ) It's pretty funny, since I know/care more about sports than any of my male friends.

And as for being into sports for the 'cute guys,' let's just say that being hit on by UW football players back when I was only 14 (I look older than I really am) has completely put me off of that. :eek: Of course, my mother still entertains hopes that I will one day marry one of her students. (She's a tutor for the UW athletic department.)


To keep this from being off topic, I assign:

People who can't comprehend that two people of opposite genders can be friends with out being romantically interested in each other. If I had a dollar for every time somebody asked if one of my male friends was my boyfriend, I'd be a very rich girl.

People who make out in the hallways at school between classes. It's just disgusting and they block traffic in the already overcrowded halls, making the rest of us late for class. The five minutes we get in between each period in school are not the proper time or place to exchange saliva. Do it on your own time someplace where the rest of us aren't forced to see it.

[Celebuial]

I assign long distance relationships whilst the two people concerned are also busy university students to Mordor.

You never spend enough time studying because you're busy making four hour phone calls. You spend more than your entire food budget on said phone calls. And then when things don't work out you still never spend enough time studying because you're upset, pinning and your head is all ****** up.

University is just the wrong time to fall in love. Especially when the other person is back at home. I think that all the pain and suffering this causes is greater than any dealt out in a torture scene in a particularly vicious Uruk's dreams. There's only one place for this kind of misery...

[littlemanpoet]

I assign long distance relationships whilst the two people concerned are also busy university students to Mordor.

You never spend enough time studying because you're busy making four hour phone calls. You spend more than your entire food budget on said phone calls. And then when things don't work out you still never spend enough time studying because you're upset, pinning and your head is all ****** up.

University is just the wrong time to fall in love. Especially when the other person is back at home. I think that all the pain and suffering this causes is greater than any dealt out in a torture scene in a particularly vicious Uruk's dreams. There's only one place for this kind of misery...
"Being in love", eh? Now you've gone and done it. ATM, here we go! :p

[Cailín]

People who can't comprehend that two people of opposite genders can be friends with out being romantically interested in each other. If I had a dollar for every time somebody asked if one of my male friends was my boyfriend, I'd be a very rich girl.

Yes, yes, I second that. Likewise, I would like to assign that particular friend of the opposite gender who just cannot seem to perceive what being in a platonic relationship entails. Just for a short, educational period that is.

And I would like to assign plumbers who have no idea what they're doing and make giant holes in your floor and ceiling for no apparent reason. :rolleyes:

University is just the wrong time to fall in love.

But how could you last through all those years without falling in love? :eek:

[Formendacil]

But how could you last through all those years without falling in love? :eek:

If you only define "falling in love" as being romantically in love with another person, then my answer is "easy".

On the same topic, my own disgruntlement leads me to assign those people to Mordor who assume that to live a life with no romantic interests must be the greatest of hardships and they "really don't see how you'll be able to do it". (No, not talking about you, Cailin, just people I know in 'real life'...)

[littlemanpoet]

I'm sure I've seen something to this effect posted onto this thread before, but I want to make sure, just for the record: crass commercialism may go straight to Mordor, do not pass go, do not collect your ill-gotten gains. And while you're at it, off to Mordor dungeons with you and yours!

[the phantom]

University is just the wrong time to fall in love.
But how could you last through all those years without falling in love?
It's easy if you try. Everyone has a romance-hormones-emotions on/off switch- it's just that a lot of people don't use it. I can flip the switch with about 99% success. When the switch doesn't work- well, that's when you just make sure you're really busy with a lot of other stuff.

Learn to flip the switch. It's an invaluable asset. I was in this marketing class and I got put in a group with these three girls with jaw-dropping looks and pretty good brains. If I wouldn't have been able to flip the romance-hormones-emotions switch to the off position, I never would've been able to get an ounce of work done.
On the same topic, my own disgruntlement leads me to assign those people to Mordor who assume that to live a life with no romantic interests must be the greatest of hardships
Ha ha! That sounds like some of my friends.

But it's not that hard at all. I get to spend all of my time and money on me and me alone. I can go where I want to, when I want to, and how I want to- things you can't do (or shouldn't do) when you have a girlfriend.

Though I'm not proud of it, I am rather immature for my age and still have some of the self-centered thought processes of a child, so being single suits me quite well.

(how much you wanna bet that quote makes it into TORE's sig :p )
"Being in love", eh? Now you've gone and done it. ATM, here we go!
So, I guess that means that two of the ATM participants are going to have to fall in love at some point in the rpg, eh lmp?

Or perhaps one of us can fall in love with one of the anakronisms, like Britney Spears. :p

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

So, I guess that means that two of the ATM participants are going to have to fall in love at some point in the rpg, eh lmp?

Or perhaps one of us can fall in love with one of the anakronisms, like Britney Spears. :p
Go read the game thread. I already claimed it. :p

I'd like to assign a modern world where a five year old is so accustomed to certain situations that she would ask me without second thought if another five year old I was talking to at her school was my daughter.

[littlemanpoet]

I'd like to assign a modern world where a five year old is so accustomed to certain situations that she would ask me without second thought if another five year old I was talking to at her school was my daughter. Perhaps what you're dealing with here is the guilelessness of a five-year old who considers anybody who looks like an adult to be "old", and therefore you look as much like a 29 year old (or 49 year old) as a 19 year old to her. Just a thought.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Perhaps what you're dealing with here is the guilelessness of a five-year old who considers anybody who looks like an adult to be "old", and therefore you look as much like a 29 year old (or 49 year old) as a 19 year old to her. Just a thought.
Perhaps, though the idea of procreating at age thirteen (the age necessary for me to currently have a child of primary school age) was certainly one that slipped my mind at the time. I was a kid still! Heck, I still am. I'm not even mature enough to say the word "pianist" with a straight face.

Therefore I assign the word "pianist". *snicker*

[Eonwe]

ha ha. i don't think you ever get to the point where you can say pianist with absolute stone-facedness. even when your ninety, there must be something that giggles in the back of you mind. :p :D

anyway, i assign that period of time when it should be winter adn snowing, but its not. hurry up, for goodness sake!

[Formendacil]

On a similar topic, I assign to Mordor anybody who think that families of more than two children are "huge" and a "potential threat of overpopulation". In Canada, at least, the only reason the population is growing is immigrants. Having a family of seven is not going to overstrain the world's resources...

Furthermore, it's a lot cooler being the oldest of seven than being "the older of two".

~An oldest of seven, and proud of it~

[Cailín]

On the same topic, my own disgruntlement leads me to assign those people to Mordor who assume that to live a life with no romantic interests must be the greatest of hardships and they "really don't see how you'll be able to do it". (No, not talking about you, Cailin, just people I know in 'real life'...)

Not talking about me, eh? Well, sir, you have just brutally assigned me to the most foul and evil place that ever existed. Though I am not one of those people who need to be romantically involved to survive (on the contrary), that giddy feeling of being in love, or rather having a crush, works like a drug for me.

Learn to flip the switch. It's an invaluable asset.

Ay, it is the sensible thing, but I never liked being a sensible person. Don’t worry though, I am quite familiar with this switch thing you speak of and whenever necessary, I shall use it. Fortunately, this is not very often.

--

To stay on topic, even though this has already been a busy irritation day for me: I should like to assign crossovers in fanfiction to Mordor. I wasn’t really aware of them before this day, seeing that I don’t spend a whole lot of time in fandoms, but I accidentally came across one today and was instantly horrified. I’m talking about a Harry Potter – Lord of the Rings crossover here, and by all accounts, these are not as rare as they should be. Authors of such an abomination must have a warped mind indeed. I shall not go into details about what I’ve read, but the Wormtail – Wormtongue jokes were among the better ones.

After reading the story, I could not help my mind thinking of other frightful possibilities for crossovers… We might have an Alice in Wonderland version (in which Aragorn and his army of the dead unexpectedly tumble down a rabbit’s hole) or a Little Mermaid one (where the fellowship suddenly finds themselves accompanied by a red haired girl with a pretty voice, swimming up and down the Anduin) or a Lord of the Rings – Pokemon crossover (better not imagine the possible horrors that might entail).

Anyway, this sacrilegious act should be abolished and never seen on the Internet again, before someone writes the extremely obvious Phantom of the Opera – Lord of the Rings songfic featuring Frodo and the Ring.

Actually, it might be better to assign all forms of fanfiction to Mordor. But I am quite sure not everybody here would appreciate that so much.

ha ha. i don't think you ever get to the point where you can say pianist with absolute stone-facedness.

Why do I really not get this? :o

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Why do I really not get this? :o
Say it aloud a few times, dear.

[Cailín]

Say it aloud a few times, dear.

:eek:

*giggles*

[Orominuialwen]

I'd like to assign a modern world where a five year old is so accustomed to certain situations that she would ask me without second thought if another five year old I was talking to at her school was my daughter.
What's even worse is that when I was in 9th grade I had a 4th grader ask me if my brother (who was in 6th grade at the time) was my son! :eek: I know I look older than I am and he looks younger than he is, but not by that much. it was even creepier when a year or so later an adult thought the same thing!


On a similar topic, I assign to Mordor anybody who think that families of more than two children are "huge" and a "potential threat of overpopulation". In Canada, at least, the only reason the population is growing is immigrants. Having a family of seven is not going to overstrain the world's resources... Furthermore, it's a lot cooler being the oldest of seven than being "the older of two". ~An oldest of seven, and proud of it~
I've always wished I had more than just one sibiling. Let that be a lesson to all of you--don't do what my parents did and not start having kids until your late 30's (granted, they didn't even meet until they were in their mid 30's). Your family will end up very small, and sibilings are a wonderful thing to have when growing up!


I assign dandruff to Mordor. It makes you feel all dirty and unwashed even when you've just taken a shower earlier in the day.

Patina that doesn't work should also go to Mordor. It was supposed to turn my piece for jewelry class black, but instead it worked less and less each time I tried it. The only parts it turned properly black were the ones I was going to have to sand anyway because I didn't want them to be black. Very, very frustrating.

[Kath]

Therefore I assign the word "pianist". *snicker*
Watch out Fea or TGWBS will be on here sending denial about 'pianist' envy to Mordor!

[Lhunardawen]

If you only define "falling in love" as being romantically in love with another person, then my answer is "easy".

On the same topic, my own disgruntlement leads me to assign those people to Mordor who assume that to live a life with no romantic interests must be the greatest of hardships and they "really don't see how you'll be able to do it". (No, not talking about you, Cailin, just people I know in 'real life'...) Hear, hear!

[Lalaith]

I assign to Mordor people who make jokes about pianists which I *still* don't get. *blush*

[Celebuial]

Don't worry Lalaith it's not that funny. If you say the word aloud to your self you should realise it sounds a lot like another word that has nothing to do with playing piano. I can't say I've found the likness amusing though or that I even think of it/realise when I use the word pianist, because I'm just thinking about piano's and musicians... I guess some people have a different sense of humour... Again, don't worry you're not missing much!

I assign people who act knowing that their actions are going to hurt/upset/offend or otherwise make miserable, one or more persons.

For example: The housemate who defaced my LotR cardboard cut-out knowing that I'd had it for years and that it was a gift for my 16th birthday and knowing how much LotR and Tolkien means to me (ok, so a minor example... but still vallid, I think)

[Lalaith]

Ah, yes, I think I understand now.
It's a question of accent....I blame my own Lady-Bracknellish R.P.....kept saying pee-ah-nistt to myself and wondering what on earth was funny.... :rolleyes:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Watch out Fea or TGWBS will be on here sending denial about 'pianist' envy to Mordor!
In this case, I'll head off the problem before it arrives by sending Sigmund Freud. Oedipus and Electra complexes my foot.

[Lalaith]

ah, I missed Kath's post. That would have solved my quandry....

[the guy who be short]

In this case, I'll head off the problem before it arrives by sending Sigmund Freud. Oedipus and Electra complexes my foot.I've only been studying Psych for a few months, but didn't Freud more or less invent the entire concept of psychology? Which means that, by sending him to Mordor, you also send psychiatrists, psychiatric wards, and mental care, as well as indirect effects of the discovery of psychology, such as maternity leave and parents being allowed to visit hospitals with children?

Just a thought.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I've only been studying Psych for a few months, but didn't Freud more or less invent the entire concept of psychology?
No, no, no... You're thinking of fantastic people like Plato (with his concept that knowledge is innate and that reality is what you think it is), Aristotle (with his idea that knowledge can only be gained through experience and that the only true reality is that which is concrete in our world), Descartes (cogito, ergo sum), Hobbes (monoism), Lock (agreed with Aristotle)... And in the 18th century, people like Hume and Kant. Then you had guys like Wundt and James, and then finally you get Freud, who was the father of psychoanalysis and his work was sort of the turning point in psychology that made it what it is today, but his fascination with psychosexual everything has been challenged or changed by so many people that it's annoying. Even my professor told us that we're only learning about him because we have to and that we'll hear far more about him in writing courses discussing psychoanalytic theory. A literary theory I also send to Mordor. Basically, the only Freudian concept still commonly in use, as explained to me by my professor, is that early experiences mold who you become later in life.

So by sending Freud to Mordor, I'm sending only his crackpot theories with him. The good ones can stay. :D

[Estelyn Telcontar]

As a pianist, I'm not quite sure - is it only the word that gets sent to Mordor, or pianists in general? I don't think I want to play there...

[Bêthberry]

As a pianist, I'm not quite sure - is it only the word that gets sent to Mordor, or pianists in general? I don't think I want to play there...


You're a brave woman, Estelyn Telcontar, who admits she plays such things. Time was women who did so were sent to Mordor. ;)

[Orominuialwen]

The stupid education system around here that thinks it's okay to not start teaching kids a foreign language until they're 12, and then not even require that they take one in high school. You learn languages best when you're young and 12 is really much later than schools should start teaching them. I keep thinking how good I could be at French by now if I'd had it since elementary school.


Cameras that don't have flashes. There's almost no point in having a camera at all if it only works outside in sunny weather.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Cameras that don't have flashes. There's almost no point in having a camera at all if it only works outside in sunny weather.
People who flash-blind people with their photography. :p

[Celuien]

I've only been studying Psych for a few months, but didn't Freud more or less invent the entire concept of psychology? Which means that, by sending him to Mordor, you also send psychiatrists, psychiatric wards, and mental care, as well as indirect effects of the discovery of psychology, such as maternity leave and parents being allowed to visit hospitals with children?

Just a thought.

Hmm. Psychiatrists, psychiatric wards and bureaucratic hospitals all together in Mordor. I think I like the potential complications of this scene. :D

[Lhunardawen]

Alternating sun and rain within a day. Mordor residents should love playing in the rain and chasing frogs one moment then sunbathing and sipping iced tea the next.

No, I'm not sending frogs and iced tea to Mordor. They'll have to buy them from a stand that I'll be putting up near the Black Gate. :D

[VanimaEdhel]

When it snows and gets you all excited for winter and then goes back up to around seventy degrees farenheit the next day. That's wrong, I tell you.

[The Only Real Estel]

People who flash-blind people with their photography.

People who blind me with their brights after I flashed my brights at them to warn them of a speed trap. See if I save them a ticket again! :mad: :rolleyes:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign recurring nightmares that mean that even with a full eight hours sleep, you wake up feeling less rested than if you'd only gotten your usual four or five. When you spend the day paranoid because you can't shake the horror that was with you when you woke up... When you know that it was only a dream, and that even though in the dream, you triumphed, you still can't get it out of your head and randomly shudder when the images invade your thoughts again... And when this whole stupid dream puts you in such a mood that even rain, which you really like, is just making it worse, because it should be snowing right now, not raining, and you only got a B on a paper, which is made worse by the fact that you deserved that B, or, more likely, a B- or Eru forbid, a C. When this bad dream and the mood it put you in means that if you don't get that test back today... it's been a week, after all, and the stress that comes with knowing that if you fail this test, your chances of passing Psych this term are so minimal that you're seriously considering withdrawing from the course if you bombed it, but you don't think you did, but the more time goes by, the less confident you are... when this bad mood makes you really want to go back to bed, only you can't because you've still got two classes, a bout of servicing the community, and a really important meeting to go to before you can settle down to do the homework you probably should have done yesterday...

Ugh. I think I just assigned nightmares, bad moods, the lack of snow, getting a grade I probably didn't deserve, stressful exams, and procrastination. Who thinks that I need to get over myself? *raises hand*

[Bêthberry]

I assign to Mordor those who would deprive us of story, who do not understand the need for representation, and who do not understand the satisfaction of a half-formed desire.

There now, there's something for LMP to use! ;)

[Celebuial]

Alternating sun and rain within a day. Mordor residents should love playing in the rain and chasing frogs one moment then sunbathing and sipping iced tea the next.

You just assigned Cardiff to Mordor! That's all it does here! You have to take an umbrella everywhere with you even if it's really hot and sunny, because sooner or later it satrt to rain. It normally does this several times a day. Also, I'm told it only snows about once a year here! There was me thinking the wheather in central England was bad enough!

I assign worrying and stress to Mordor. Especially when you have a plethora of thing to be worried about. For example: you're really ill but still don't have an appointment from the hospital; because of said illness you're missing a lot of work and assignments and compulsory lab sessions not just lectures; which makes you really stressed; then you actually manage to attend a few and realise that you can't do the work anyway; and then start worrying that you'll have to re-take the year. All this worrying makes you stressed and then you get even more worried because you're so stressed! Then you become even more ill because of all the stress! The situation is far to cyclical for my liking so it should be banished to the noisome pits somewhere in Mordor-where it belongs!

[Kath]

I would like to assign my psychology teacher to Mordor. Not all psychology teachers, I'm sure some of them are lovely but mine is not. (This is quite a long rant so you have my permission to skip it!).

Ok first she is such a hypocrite! If anyone comes into her lesson the slightest bit late as in more than 30 seconds she has a major stress about it and yells at them for ages going '"I have no respect for people who cannot be punctual to lessons, they don't deserve my respect" with no consideration as to why this person is late. And when they try to explain why with perfectly reasonable excuses such as another teacher caught them in the corridor and they couldn't get away (seriously in our school if one of a few certain teachers gets you for a chat you have to resign yourself to being at least 5 minutes late!) she says that you should say you have to go or you'll be late for her lesson because of course they will understand. Now that is fair enough but then at the end of the lesson after the pips go she keeps us behind for ages still talking to us. Of course we say sorry but we have to go and she throws a wobbly! She decides that we are obviously not interested in learning anything and we shouldn't bother turning up to the lessons since we don't want to learn. Argh! So we explain that we will be late for assembly and she sulks, literally sulks.

Then we have the daily gripe that we are three weeks behind schedule and that is of course our fault because we all turn up late to lessons and muck about through them. So, nothing to do with the fact that she frequently keeps us waiting outside the room for the first ten minutes because she is chatting to someone about what they are planning on doing at university? I thought not. And nothing to do with her going on and on about the school she used to teach at and how they were all stupid lower-class people who couldn't even manage writing let alone GCSE's (not kidding, those are paraphrased words not changed ones) and yet they were better than us because we are middle-class and lazy and think we need do no work to pass, helpfully missing the fact that we are all sitting there writing notes or doing example questions. Oh and of course her constant talking about how wonderful she is and how her sons are all geniuses and she was some kind of queen in South Africa because none of the black people there know how raise children properly (again not kidding, she said that). None of that could possibly have anything to do with our being behind schedule.

Hmm, lets see, what else. Oh yeah her inability to control a class. I mean, ok we muck about a bit but we settle down to work as soon as asked, but she doesn't ask, she sulks! I have never known a teacher so bad for that. We don't actually know she wants our attention because there is no difference between her attitude when we come in and are allowed to talk and when she expects us to settle down to work. So, we keep talking and suddenly she bursts out with 'If you want to talk go and have your conversations outside!' or she threatens to send people back to the subject they dropped, though I'm not quite sure why on that one. Of course everyone feels hard done by having not known she was even starting the lesson and mess around in grieved retaliation.

And she is such a bad teacher just in general! I don't learn from her, I learn from the textbook, because she doesn't give us the information we need to pass the exams. She goes on and on about the pHD she's doing in 'how to teach teenagers' but I swear if anyone actually came in and observed her she'd fail on the spot!

Then she always talks about how her class last year all got A's except the person who had a baby on the day of the exam but even she got a B and we're all thinking so, if we don't all get A's we're all failures? We say this to her and a get 'well, if you don't want to get A's then of course I'll stop teaching you' - that's not what we said!

*sigh* that's not even all of it but I think I shoould stop now before I bore you all to death.

[Plastic_Panda]

hehe ive played this "game" before....wot would u throw into Mt. Doom i think it was called

shoes
and
things that make shoes needed :-P
also
cigarretes, biases
definently not
off topic posts

so ya...

[Alcarillo]

I have one teacher, who I must absolutely send to Mordor. He is more interested in his elaborate points system than in teaching. I would expect a points system to be used in elementary school, but not at my age! Each day, he tallies up these immature little points, which make up practically more than half of one's grade. And he'll take them away for the most ridiculous reasons. The entire class could be talking, and one student might ask him a question without raising a hand, and he'll call it a class disruption and take away a point, even if said student is two feet away. And even if that sudent is raising his hand, my teacher wil refuse to acknowledge it until the "class leader" calls upon her. Even if you mutter quietly to yourself, he'll take points. And next class, we'll be getting "group points". *groan* :rolleyes:

I mentioned our "class leaders". In a nutshell, this student's job is to do the teacher's for him. The "class leader" does all the talking, choosing students as volunteers, etc. And then there is the next level in my teacher's twisted little empire of a classroom: the "group leaders". Their job is to keep the others quiet and grab the books, but they never do. It's not that they boss others into doing such, it's just that there are students who do so even when not "group leader". It's a rather pointless job.

And my teacher's whole idea of teaching bothers me to the core. He, rather than telling us the answer, tells us to look it up. This is understandable when the question is "When was the Boston Tea Party?", but certainly not when one just wants to know what the weather is. He also poses the most ridiculous questions during discussions, like what might happen if the moon explodes. Totally irrelevant to the topic of lunar phases.

Also, when one has been absent for a class, rather than telling you what you have missed, he'll just tell you to look at another student's agenda. Nobody uses their agendas (I confess that I use mine for drawing ships and swords, actually)! Is he too lazy? Does he just not care? Grrrrrr. . . off to Mordor with 'im!

[Thinlómien]

When it's too quiet in the 'Downs and nothing happens...

[Himilsillion]

Leaders that use their powers to lead for evil and not for good.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Having a dancer's feet when you really are only pretending to be a dancer, whether the leg muscles and better posture you've mysteriously developed call lie to that or not. Blisters, scars, and oozing floorburns from when your instructor says "Now slide into a split" and your foot doesn't feel like sliding appropriately... So unfair.

[Baranithil]

My whole town, because we have tainted river, ground poioning, acid air, strange animals running around and angry people who answer: "hrummmph" when you ask them for something...
I think all people here wuoldn't notice if we were put into Mordor now...

[Thinlómien]

My geography presentation on "tourism in Lapland". It's so boring and surprisingly difficult to find info about.

[Dimturiel]

I want to assign fog to Mordor. I mean, imagine waking up in the morning, knowing there should be some trees and a house in front of your window, but when you open your eyes you see nothing. Also imagine having to walk the dog in the evenings in such conditions.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

People who use the phrase "My philosophy is..." before going on to talk about some totally mundane thing that only they care about. You know, like: "My philosophy is that a good wine is like a good family" or some other such gibberish.

It doesn't make you sound more clever; it makes you sound like an egotistical wannabe who's desperate to seem important.

To Mordor, to Mordor I send you!

[the guy who be short]

My infuriating internet connection that randomly takes it upon itself to commit suicide every so often.

[Gurthang]

This is probably already on here, but:

Homework to Mordor! :mad:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Spandex. It doesn't look good on anybody. Mixed with 97% denim, sure. That makes really comfy jeans. But... a purple spandex jumpsuit? *shudder*

[Firefoot]

People who stand in the middle of a crowded hallway. Especially when they stand in clumps, and especially when those clumps stand right at the entrance to the cafeteria during lunch periods.

People right in front of you who randomly stop in the middle of a crowded hallway. Hello! People are actually trying to walk here, and when there are people on both sides of you, it's rather hard to avoid running into you.

Groups of people who walk four across in a hallway only four people wide. Maybe you don't have anywhere to go and can afford to walk with the relative pace of a snail on sandpaper, but the rest of us actually don't want to be late!

Just people in general who walk slowly and you can't get around them. I don't walk particularly fast, but I do appreciate actually being able to walk at a normal pace.

The girl whose locker is next to mine because she always opens the door all the way, even though I come to my locker just about every passing period. And not only does she open it all the way, she doesn't move it when I come to mine, so I always have to move it out of my way just so I can get into my locker.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Show nights! When you remember/find out that your term paper is due tomorrow just an hour before you have to go and be in a show! My term paper is a twenty-page research paper/schpeal on literary theory and I have to edit fifteen of those pages and write the last five of them some time tonight, but I'm going to be cloistered in a dance studio (and on stage) for the next four hours! Eek. The concept of not stressing nearly as much as I should over my paper while listening to tempermental dancers on a performance night is not appealing to me right now. Wish me luck!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

loosing elections again and again and. . .

and then when you it looks like you actuall are going to win, the Social Democrats backstab you ! :mad:

[Lhunardawen]

Those weird feelings of selective meanness. Like, you're nice to everybody except to this one person who, in your eyes, is just plain annoying, whatever he does. And worse, you don't even completely understand why.

I don't want to be an unreasonable meanie, so off to Mordor you go.

[Oddwen]

Michigan winters I would like to send.

Sometimes the snow doesn't come 'til Christmas.

Sometimes it starts in October.

And sometimes it comes in one flippin' day, a foot and a half of snow literally in 24 hours, completely wrecking duck pens that your Dad and your siblings and yourself has been working on for weeks, covering the roads, somehow keeping the plows off the roads, making work incredibly slow, and making it necessary to clean off cars ensuing in pants that are wet up to the knee, and speech impediments due to frozen cheeks, lips and chins. And run-on sentences too.

Maybe this happens in other places also, but dangit, I have to live here, and I don't want to have to endure snow and ice until June snarkin' drat it!!

Grr.

Sorry. Now back to your regularly scheduled amusements.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Smut writers. It's bad enough with all the smut in movies but at least there is a limit to that. Smut writers go way too far in their twisted works. The first paragraph is enough to drive you away. What makes it even worse is that many of them use animal people, or "anthros" in their works, making them even more disgusting and ruining the names of humans and animals alike.

[Lalaith]

I recently found out that something I have long loathed actually has a name, which makes it much neater and easier to consign to Mordor.
What I am talking about is what, in US sitcom script meetings, they apparently call "Hugs 'n' Learning."
The pernicious phenomenon can be seen in all kinds of places, and I blame it for some of the unnecessary changes in the LotR movies.

Oh and while I'm at it, the little pillocks who broke into my car this week can also go and spend some time with Sauron. Instead of breaking the window to steal my stereo, like normal well-brought up little hoodlums, they pulled off the door handle and jemmied the lock, destroying the driver door and thereby consigning the car to a week in the garage.
Oh, and Disc 14 of my 18-cd set of the narrated Fellowship of the Ring was in the stolen cd player, rendering the whole, extremely expensive set useless. :mad:

[littlemanpoet]

What I am talking about is what, in US sitcom script meetings, they apparently call "Hugs 'n' Learning."
The pernicious phenomenon can be seen in all kinds of places, and I blame it for some of the unnecessary changes in the LotR movies.

"Hugs 'n' Learning"? I don't know what it means, not being big into US sitcoms. Nor, therefore, how it affects the LotR movies. Care to explain, please? (see, I can be really courteous away from werewolf.;))

[Lalaith]

I can be really courteous away from werewolf.
Oh, me too. :)

Even if you don't watch US sitcoms you'd recognise the phenomenon, I think, as it is endemic these days.
Hugs 'n' Learning is a point in any given drama when someone learns that they've been making mistakes or behaving unreasonably, and becomes reconciled (usually emotionally) to their situation/fellow cast members. Often accompanied by hamfisted clumsy "the moral of the story is..."
The "arc of personal development" belongs to the same breed of cheesy nonsense.
Off the top of my head, various non-canonical Hugs 'n' Learning moments in LotR:
Theoden, really grumpy sulking in the bowels of Helms Deep, then persuaded by Aragorn to "draw swords together".
The elves deciding to help men after all by coming to Helms Deep.
Aragorn not wanting to be King but gradually getting talked into it, finally having Elrond pop up with Anduril in the middle of Rohan.
Elrond in his turn seeing the error of his ways vis a vis Arwen.
I could go on.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign today's psych class. When your attention span is already questionable and the very room itself seems to be warring against it, trying to concentrate in your hardest class becomes all the harder. Imagine, if you will, all of the sights and sounds that could make a very random girl like myself lose total sight of the lecture itself (about four pages worth of material on psychotherapy that I really needed to be learning and totally missed out on). The droning, ever droning sounds of a movie from across the hall, first filtered by distance, but also by two walls, until the only things you hear are the tones of voices, if that, and much though you strain to understand even only one word, you can't, and it just continues like an inaudible murmer or a swarm of bees mid-summer. Next add drums. The class on the other side of the other wall is listening to music from another culture. So now you have bees droning about to the sounds of a dozen drums beating in time. You professor continues talking, but your attention is so compromised already that when the light starts to randomly flicker, like lightening on drugs, not only do you entirely give up on lobotomies, but when the vzvzvzving sound of the projector fan meets your ears, and you know that this is your last class before you go home on break...

That class was torture. By the time it was finally over, I was so paranoid of what the class was thinking of me, what with the way that my body had taken to flinching slightly whenever the lights flickered, as well as my nervous habit of toying with my pen. I must have looked like a drug-addict who desparately needed a fix. And then the teacher started talking about the way that lobotomies used to be performed. The "ice pick method". And she described it... in detail. As somebody with a distinct fear of puncture wounds (just think of my assignation of needles), I was having serious issues with the fact that I'd finally been able to listen to what my teacher was saying just in time for my face to blanch from it. :rolleyes:

[The Saucepan Man]

Hugs 'n' Learning is a point in any given drama when someone learns that they've been making mistakes or behaving unreasonably, and becomes reconciled (usually emotionally) to their situation/fellow cast members.But aren't there many aspects of this in Tolkien's original tale also? Characters developing morally, spiritually or mentally as a result of their experience? Surely the Scouring of the Shire is a Hugs 'n' Learning epsisode - the culmination of the younger Hobbits' "arc of development"?

[littlemanpoet]

Off the top of my head, various non-canonical Hugs 'n' Learning moments in LotR:
Theoden, really grumpy sulking in the bowels of Helms Deep, then persuaded by Aragorn to "draw swords together".
The elves deciding to help men after all by coming to Helms Deep.
Aragorn not wanting to be King but gradually getting talked into it, finally having Elrond pop up with Anduril in the middle of Rohan.
Elrond in his turn seeing the error of his ways vis a vis Arwen.
I could go on.
Ah. I understand. Yes, all those ridiculous character conflicts for no reason having to do with Tolkien's story. Hence, I assign to Mordor character development for the sake of character development when it ought to be character development for the sake of the story. Oh, and DON'T expect to find this in "ATM".

Edit: I just noticed SPM's pertinent questions. I hope my assignation to Mordor signifies the distinction that your questions imply that you are asking for (ick what a terrible sentence!). Tolkien's characters mature in ways that make sense within the context of the story; the story is never wrestled into the shape needed for character development.

[Bêthberry]

Surely the Scouring of the Shire is a Hugs 'n' Learning epsisode - the culmination of the younger Hobbits' "arc of development"?

Well, I'm not going to assign anything to Mordor this post but I do want to ask Sauce something.

Why have you used the expression "Hugs 'n' Learning episode" for the Scouring of the Shire? How do you think it is--our favourite word here on the Downs--'applicable'? :)

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

The Canonicity Thread (in case it's not been conassigned already)

[Roa_Aoife]

I've only been studying Psych for a few months, but didn't Freud more or less invent the entire concept of psychology? Which means that, by sending him to Mordor, you also send psychiatrists, psychiatric wards, and mental care, as well as indirect effects of the discovery of psychology, such as maternity leave and parents being allowed to visit hospitals with children?

Actually, that's a common misconception. Freud was considered the father of psycho-analysis, which is only a branch on psychology as a whole. However, he got his ideas from a colleage, who gave him help with some clients. Basically, Freud is all hype, and should be thrown into Mordor with all the other hype.

Also, and I'm sure this has been mentioned, POLITICIANS. All of them, no exceptions. I don't care what they're political leaning is, toss 'em in. I think I'll also throw in people who drive exactly the speed limit in the fast lane, diplomats, and research papers. And Microsoft.


Well, on second thought, nevermind. I shudder to think what Bill Gates would do there. Probably come up with the one OS of Power.

[littlemanpoet]

Basically, Freud is all hype, and should be thrown into Mordor with all the other hype. ... Also, and I'm sure this has been mentioned, POLITICIANS. All of them, no exceptions.... I shudder to think what Bill Gates would do there. Probably come up with the one OS of Power.

Well, there you go, a bunch of new ideas for ATM. Sigmund Freud (as a pretentious politican), and Bill Gates as, well, we'll just have to see. Thanks for the assignments, RA. :)

[the guy who be short]

When I have a second, I'll make a list of all the Real People who have been conassigned to Mordor. If BDer-cameos aren't a possibilty, I'm sure it would still be amusing to encounter all of the much hated figures of public life. :)

[Lalaith]

I agree, Bethberry, I wouldn't apply Hugs N Learning to the Scouring. The hobbits encounter an unexpectedly unpleasant situation which, thanks to their experiences, they are able to deal with effectively.
There are no hugs - except perhaps off-stage between Rosie and Sam ;) - and they have already done their learning. As for Frodo, he is not reconciled at all and ends up leaving for the West.

The most annoying Hugs N Learning scenes take place outside, in a rainstorm, with both protagonists weeping and drenched, and finally falling into a sodden hug.
I have seen this very scene played out in a dozen or more films, nobody ever has a row during breakfast or in the car, it all has to be conducted while being battered by the elements.
Oh, and I understand that the current film version of Pride and Prejudice contains an extra six minutes of solid Hugs N Learning for American audiences only.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I understand that the current film version of Pride and Prejudice contains an extra six minutes of solid Hugs N Learning for American audiences only. Yes, I heard that the European version is not thought sappy or sweet enough for the American audience, so a passionate kiss, at least, has been added. :rolleyes: To Mordor with film producers' preconceived notions on the taste of their audience!

[Lathriel]

Bad scripts should be send to Mordor. Right now the most common complaint I read in the newspaper movie reviews is that the acting is good but that the scripts are terrible. I agree, the scripts aren't intelligent and they are usually too safe and therefore bring.

[Orominuialwen]

Whoever thought it was a good idea to make the Packer game and the UW men's basketball game on at the exact same time needs to take a trip to Mordor. That was not a smart idea on their part.

Also, whoever was behind the decision to move Monday Night Football to ESPN next year should go to Mordor. Not all of us have cable, you know.

And finally, my beloved Green Bay Packers should at least temporarily go to Mordor for managing to lose to the Vikings despite leading for a good portion of the game. They can come back from Mordor once they finally win some games!

[Laitoste]

They can come back from Mordor once they finally win some games!

And when will this be, Oromin? Next season? Next decade? :D

I want to send whoever thought it was a good idea to raise our county sales tax to pay for the new stadium for the Packers. Also annoying people who care too much about pro football and thus are willing to physically attack anyone wearing Viking colors. And my family members who try to make me interested...

Also history seminars about subjects you THOUGHT you were interested in but really aren't and now have to write a 10 page paper about (I don't care about the Albigensian Crusade, I really don't). There goes the history major (maybe, unlikely...). :rolleyes:

EDIT: On that note, also send bad attitudes and exhaustion to Mordor! But wait, it already has a copious amount of both of those...

[the guy who be short]

You may remember my rant about the pervasive media and how they had now reached the point of advertising on stairs - on the actually steps themselves, those things you walk on to move up or down. It is with immense glee that I report to you all that they are now covered in mud and grime. :D

[Lhunardawen]

The dark circles under my eyes <-- Less than six hours of sleep <-- Having to do homework late at night <-- Procrastination <-- The Downs :D

[Cailín]

My argumentation teacher has officially earned an uncomfortable home in Mordor yesterday... I cannot believe he seriously failed me. I’ve never failed anything in my life. Also, not really sure whether I find his grading strategy of ‘everything over a B is for fellow teachers and an A is for God alone’ at all acceptable. Quite discouraging, come to think of it.

Also, I’d like to assign

- People who do not believe in the philosophy that when something is boring you make it fun, and when it’s still not fun after you tried, you drink lots of tequilas and dance on the bar.

- People who think that - just because you dance with someone in a flirty manner - you are in love and destined to be married and have many babies.

- People who find love no proper motivation to move to Scotland.

all to Mordor. Blah. :rolleyes:

[Nerindel]

Summarily banished to Mordor by me are:

- Annoying telesales people who do not seem to understand the meaning of the polietly phrased no thanks! :mad:

- British telecom for refusing to update our exchange so that our village can finally get broadband like the rest of the World!!!! :(

- And stupid ignorant people who think writing is a waste of time and effort!!! :eek:

[Glirdan]

I'm sending the dance/drama teacher to join Cailín's teacher in the uncomfortable house. Before she started teaching, she was a proffesional in what she teaches and she expects that everyone in the musical has to be perfect to. It makes me so mad!!! :mad: I mean come on!! We're only in high school!!!

And going along those lines, I'd like to send people who talk during performances to Mordor. I swer I was this close -----><------- to getting up and smacking them across the head.

Another thing I'm sending are long rehersall hours. The drain you so much. I just want to go to bed. But I won't. :rolleyes:

[The Only Real Estel]

Michael Moore.

[Kath]

Michael Moore.
Ooh I don't know. For some things yes but we watched a film of his the other day, Roger and Me, and it was really very informative and good.

For me, I'll send mixed messages. Oh so confusing! Especially when they're from people you thought you at least mostly understood.

[Lhunardawen]

Accidentally deleting your veeery long reply to a PM. Argh! :mad:

And electronic mice that have lives of their own, clicking on things that you didn't tell them to click and not clicking on those you did. If it comes to worst, I might have to look for an electronic cat to get rid of them.

[littlemanpoet]

- People who do not believe in the philosophy that when something is boring you make it fun, and when it’s still not fun after you tried, you drink lots of tequilas and dance on the bar.

- People who think that - just because you dance with someone in a flirty manner - you are in love and destined to be married and have many babies.

- People who find love no proper motivation to move to Scotland.

Now now now. There are stories to be told here. Out with 'em! ;)

[Kath]

Wimpy snow! I mean come on! If it's going to snow then do it properly, not for 3 minutes in the middle of break when it doesn't even settle. If it's going to be so cold it snows then we should at least get the day off school, but for that we need snowdrifts! Hmm, or the heating has to be broken - that has possibilities ;)

[Farael]

CALCULUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most abhorrid of subjects! It's more letters than numbers. And the only numbers involved are 0, 1, and 2, and on rare occusasions 3. That's the worst of it; you work for 10 mintues on a single problem, retrace your steps every other step because you forgot the chain rule or some other little oddment, and finally arrive at the answer: 1. (the loneliness number...)



Sorry, this is my first post in this section and I should start by saying new, but.... I read this and I agree with a small ammendment.

Send Newton to Mordor!! I know he's long dead but bring him back to life and send him there. I'm on my second year university, taking a Bachelor in BioChemistry and I've studied A LOT of boring stuff.... yet there's nothing I despised more than Calculus last year and now Physics... and guess what? yes, Newton is one of the most important names in Physics and he laid out the fundamentals of Calculus..... I'm starting to believe that Newton was Morgoth in a clever disguise.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

I'm on my second year university, taking a Bachelor in BioChemistry and I've studied A LOT of boring stuff.... yet there's nothing I despised more than Calculus last year and now Physics... and guess what?

Ever thought about changing your major to something where you won't have to use the words "boring" and "despised" in the same sentence to describe it?

Oh, keeping this on point:

I conassign to Mordor anyone who offers unsolicited academic advice.

[Farael]

Ever thought about changing your major to something where you won't have to use the words "boring" and "despised" in the same sentence to describe it?

Oh, keeping this on point:

I conassign to Mordor anyone who offers unsolicited academic advice.

Funny, but actually I'm taking BSc in Biochemistry because it's pretty much a requirement to get into Med School which is what I REALLY want to do.

Back on topic, I'll also send snowy stairs to Mordor... It's been a week since I slipped on some steps covered by snow and my back is still hurting

[Lalwendë]

Ever thought about changing your major to something where you won't have to use the words "boring" and "despised" in the same sentence to describe it?

Oh, keeping this on point:

I conassign to Mordor anyone who offers unsolicited academic advice.

That's me in Mordor then. :p Not only have I given lots of unsolicited advice when I was training other trainers, but I have also endured academic torment without changing my subject. :( I decided to do Economics A Level and about a month into it I realised it was the most boring thing in the world ever, but the teacher wouldn't let me drop it and do Geography instead. Most of the class thought it was boring too, and despite the best efforts of the teacher (who was a very nice man) to liven things up by provoking us about Margaret Thatcher, it remained boring for the whole two years. Many lessons would simply be shunned in favour of hanging out in the woods or maybe retiring to the library to indulge in a few illicit games of poker if it was raining.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

That's me in Mordor then. :p Not only have I given lots of unsolicited advice when I was training other trainers, but I have also endured academic torment without changing my subject. :( I decided to do Economics A Level and about a month into it I realised it was the most boring thing in the world ever, but the teacher wouldn't let me drop it and do Geography instead. Most of the class thought it was boring too, and despite the best efforts of the teacher (who was a very nice man) to liven things up by provoking us about Margaret Thatcher, it remained boring for the whole two years. Many lessons would simply be shunned in favour of hanging out in the woods or maybe retiring to the library to indulge in a few illicit games of poker if it was raining.

You should have done what I did -- I registered as a History/Archaeology major and proceeded to take almost exclusively English credits. By the time I was entering my final quarter I had exactly three Ancient History credits, no Archaeology credits and about a dozen English credits. This happened because the History courses were boring and the English courses were fascinating.

Following the advice of a wise academic advisor I changed my major to English in that quarter, registered for an entire year of English courses (to make up the requirements I had missed) and proceeded with the busiest and most enjoyable year of my academic life...

(It was in that quarter, incidentally, that I took an Honours Seminar on Tolkien.)

Oh yeah, the topic....

I conassign to Mordor people who chat in-thread.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I conassign to Mordor anyone who offers unsolicited academic advice.
But... but that's how I've gotten to know so many fascinating people! And also... I do it fairly regularly. And I'm barely qualified to be doing it in the first place. :D

I assign any injury that has to do with finger or toenails. My thumbnail is supposed to remain firmly attached to the nail bed at all times.

I also assign shin splints. :rolleyes:

I could just assign myself as one of those hopeless case klutzes. That way every time I get hurt, it's already conveniently in Mordor.

[Farael]

Now I think I'll ship to Mordor lazyness. Wouldn't the world be a much better place if we never felt lazy? and even more importantly, wouldnt Sauron and company be easyer to defeat if they just got veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery lazy all of a sudden?

Now that I think about it, I also assign people who only complain about bad things but never comment on the good things of life! (for example, myself assigning a couple of things to Mordor yet nothing to The Shire!)

[Roa_Aoife]

By the time I was entering my final quarter I had exactly three Ancient History credits, no Archaeology credits and about a dozen English credits. This happened because the History courses were boring and the English courses were fascinating.

First, History is one of the coolest subjects ever. Second, how could you only have that many credits? I've been pulling 17 a semmester!



I hereby assign anyone who thinks that something is intrinsically wrong with a girl who has no interest in fashion, looking "pretty," marriage, or even dating. And with them, anyone who dares to suggest that not having a significant other lowers your value as a human being.

And my sister, for trying to cut my hair this week in attempt to make me "prettier."

Completely unrelated, anyone who doesn't understand the concept of personal space.

[Farael]

Completely unrelated, anyone who doesn't understand the concept of personal space.

Oh, darned... I'm off to Mordor. Yet, so that I don't get so lonely, I'll assign anyone who does not understand that the north american concept of "personal space" is what in south america is considered the most acceptable distance to be from other people when you want to talk to them.

[Cailín]

Now now now. There are stories to be told here. Out with 'em! ;)

Hey, I'm trying to be nice and family friendly here. ;)

--

I would love to stay on topic but don't have anything to send to Mordor today. I'm in one of those strange, unusual and unnatural happy moods that are actually solely suited for toddler-television shows.

Edit: Oh, I did think of something! I send house mice to Mordor. I really do not understand why they would all come to my house for shelter this winter. Normally, I’d just get a cat, but my roommate’s allergic... Any other ideas as to how to drive out mice? Cause frankly, I’m close to the point where I give up, start taming them, dolling them up in cute little outfits and sing to them in a Cinderella-like manner.

[Lalwendë]

You should have done what I did -- I registered as a History/Archaeology major and proceeded to take almost exclusively English credits. By the time I was entering my final quarter I had exactly three Ancient History credits, no Archaeology credits and about a dozen English credits. This happened because the History courses were boring and the English courses were fascinating.

Sadly that's not how it works here as students specialise early. Upon entering sixth form the student chooses a few subjects, sits exams at the end of the year and then chooses the four they want to do for the final year A level exams- and in my time you could only choose to do the four subjects for the whole two years. It's not much better at University; you choose a subject, and stick with it, though some may do dual honours and you often take options from similar subjects in the faculty. Sadly, English & History weren't in the same faculty at my Uni or I'd have gladly broadened my options.... Though this did lead me to do an Art History unit and learn from an Art student how to get the lids off beer bottles using only my bare hands and a wall, which has been useful. :D

Keeping on topic.... :p ...... I send to Mordor the most important of all the great Christmas traditions, yes, checking that all the bulbs are working in your light sets! We sat this afternoon checking bulbs in a set of lights that wasn't working and what a surprise, it was the final bulb checked which was the broken one! Now that this task is accomplished I will soon have the second greatest Christmas tradition to look forwards to, and that is trying to get the things to stay fixed to the window frame when I put them up! :mad:

[the guy who be short]

May I send horrendously early Christmas preparations to Mordor? You still have four weeks Lal. Four weeks of non-Christmas. Why torment yourself more than you have to? ;)

[Lalwendë]

I am Christmas-aholic. :D I bought my Christmas puddings in September so I could get the ones I liked before they sold out, telling the cats to behave or else Father Christmas won't be leaving them any treats, and I've been thinking about what decorations are going where for weeks. I shall have regressed to the mental state of a four year old by the time Christmas Eve arrives because I'll be so excited. I've even added some Christmas music (including Slade and Wizzard) to my MP3 player...

:eek: :D

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I assign all of the christmas advertisment, besides bothering me in general it allso forces me not to take ant work as a postman as it is to hard a job (and cold) compared to what they pay.

I guess I could just assign christmas. Luckely christmas in Denmark is called jul (yule), a name that is the same as the viking word for a tradition that lay around the same time as our christmas. This means I can just pretent I am selebrating somthing else and thereby enjoy it.

[Farael]

Well, Rune... if you don't ship Christmas to Mordor I guess I'll have to.
I must admit I Come from a country in where Christmas is not nearly as big a celebration as it is over here, yet THIS IS INSANITY! Still almost a month until christmas and you can't go to a shopping mall without hearing at least ten different christmas songs! GIVE ME A BREAK!!! At least they should mix in some Hanuka songs... like Adam Sandler's, that's a funny song =)

I also send my beard to Mordor... I still remember when shaving was fun... but then, I would shave once a week and it would take five minutes... darned, I wish I was a young kid again. So I'm also sending old age to Mordor! (although I'm not that old myself)

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I will allso like to assign NOT beeing a teenager to Mordor.

You lucky, lucky b....... what I would not give to be a teenager! (I feel so old :( )

[Farael]

I will allso like to assign NOT beeing a teenager to Mordor.

You lucky, lucky b....... what I would not give to be a teenager! (I feel so old :( )

Don't get me started on that.... I'll leave my teen years in 3 months and 19 days!!! But what really bugs me is that most people think I'm 25.... which brings me to my next point

I assign to Mordor the ages of 20 and 25.

[Lhunardawen]

I assign to Mordor the ages of 20 and 25.Be glad, Rune...you're now ageless!

I conassign to Mordor forgetting my ideas for this reaction paper I had to do on a play because I did it two days after watching.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I conassign my own conscience. One lie, and not even an important one, which makes it that much worse, is going to ruin my day. I could have just told my professor the truth, which would have made for a more interesting story, but seriously, what do you do when the truth is less believable than the subtle untruth? *sigh*

Kids, lying is BAD. Even if you get away with it, which I'm quite sure I will, your conscience will haunt you, if your parents did a good enough job instilling a mean and nasty one in you. :(

PS: I also assign my parents for molding my conscience. I blame them for this. :p

[Farael]

On the next boat to Mordor I will send "doing things the right way".

I have to talk to my Physics prof. and also I have to come to the computer lab (where I'm at right now) to do some research for a paper (yes, I know, but I promised myself I'd be good if I just posted a little tiny bit on the 'downs).

Now, the first thing I wanted to do is come over here so that I'd get a computer right away. But talking to my Physics prof is more important and therefore I decided to go over to her office, even when I knew that she would probably not be there.

And she wasn't

But then when i came to the computer labs I had to stand in line for the best part of 10 minutes while waiting for someone to leave.

From now on, I will do things the "lazy" way not the "Right" way...

[Orominuialwen]

I conassign extremely common names. You have no idea how confusing things can get when you know four or five people with the same name and you have to resort to saying things like "French Daniel, not Daniel who wears black" in conversations just so people know who you're talking about. It's no wonder that half the people I know with really common names try to go either by their last name or a nickname.


Edit: I also conassign having to go back to school and get up early after a long weekend. It's so hard to drag yourself out of bed!

[Roa_Aoife]

I conassign extremely common names. You have no idea how confusing things can get when you know four or five people with the same name

AMEN!! Finally someone who understands this plight! I have counted, and I personally know 32 other people who share my name. You have know idea how confusing it is. Both of my roommates share my name! Phonecalls are impossible to answer, becuase we always have to specify which one, and sometimes the person calling doesn't know!

On topic, I assign to Mordor tests that are entirelly essay questions that no human being alive could possibly finish on time.

[Encaitare]

To Mordor with coming up with really cool ideas and then... wait, what was I saying?

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

On topic, I assign to Mordor tests that are entirelly essay questions that no human being alive could possibly finish on time.
Ah, I see you're also in my psych class. ;) I often think that her tests are less on psychology than on time management. Seriously, who puts two essays in one test that also includes ten short answers, eight compare/contrasts, and the occasional section of matching? Who does that?

I agree with the name thing too. There's a girl I hang out with who not only shares my first name, but my middle as well! I blame my parents for this. If only they'd been more original.

[Celuien]

Being called to do something at the end of the day, then finding out that this vital assignment consists of watching the person who called you watch someone else do something (you're not sure exactly what) for an hour without even being spoken to. Only if you'd left earlier, this person couldn't have added on to your workload for the next day and cut half an hour off of your time to do it in after letting you stand around and watch the lack of activity for an hour. This especially belongs in Mordor when said behavior is a continuing pattern and you have to work with the person who did it all day and all night the following day, which means that you'll be up until 2-3 AM for no particularly good reason. And he steals my pens too. :mad:

Tomorrow through Wednesday morning is not going to be pretty. Not a thing I can do about it without risking getting demolished when grades come around.

[Kal-el]

all terrorists

[Formendacil]

I am most distressed... my name has been sent to Mordor, and I want it back!

The plethora of Michaels in this world has never bothered me, despite being known in early school years as "Michael J", or in church as "Michael Joosten Jr." (to differentiate from my grandfather), or simply jumping everytime someone says Mike...

Meanwhile, it is 1:30 in the morning here, and I am haranguing about my name...

I assign to Mordor (that is correct, linguistics masters, I am giving this ugly thing an assignment to the land of Mordor) having to work until 12:30, 1:00, or 2:00 in the morning.

I don't care if those drunk college kids are hungry or not! Let them eat cake!

I also assign those chronically drunk college kids...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Everything currently wrong with my term paper.

Passive voice. This kills me. For years my teachers have harangued me for use of passive voice and I haven't got the faintest idea of what they're talking about. They mark me off for it without properly explaining what it is.

Apparently one small error of MLA format (a double space in one place that should be single) can get 1/4 of the Grammar grade cut.

Use of acedemic language. The expletive was part of a quote, and the quote was to show how stories are perceived differently based on words chosen to tell them.

Citations. I could easily find some person somewhere that's said everything I've said before and cite them to augment my sources, but if I add more citing then it ceases to be my paper and becomes a jigsaw puzzle of other people's words taken from context and made to seem like they're all talking about the same thing.

Theses. Yes... my thesis has an issue: when the professor said that "the thesis on a research paper is found at the conclusion of the introduction," I totally missed out on the "of the introduction" part of the statement. My paper's official conclusion is currently playing host to my thesis and my professor thinks it's non-existent because it's not on one of the first two pages of my paper.

My professor's issue with my friend's paper can also go to Mordor. I can assign this issue because it's because of me that she's got the issue, and I don't find it to be an issue at all. In her term paper, she discusses linguistic taboos. She uses profanity, but she uses it acedemically in terms of why these expletives are considered taboo. Our professor wants her to bleep out the words, or at least most of the words. It's not like she's randomly swearing for the heck of it, she uses curse words in terms of "And in England, 'X' means something entirely different than it does in the States." How lame is that? I want to go argue my friend's case to the professor to convince her to let the words stay in all of their naughty splendor. Besides... it's not like we can't use words like "transubstantiation" and "cannibalism" and "bubble" and "acetone" and "rhetoric". Words are words. Anybody who has an issue with a certain word can go become a Knight of Ni and hang out in Mordor.

So there.

[Gurthang]

Agreed, Fea, agreed. I can't stand all this MLA or APA or whatever they want us to do. I'd like to toss them into Mount Doom.

I'd like to add portfolio projects to the general homework hate pile.

[Cailín]

And Fea just listed all the reasons why I failed argumentation. :rolleyes: Silly stylesheets.

Also, to Mordor with Alexander Pope's entire oeuvre. Endlessly dull.

[Roa_Aoife]

Passive voice. This kills me. For years my teachers have harangued me for use of passive voice and I haven't got the faintest idea of what they're talking about. They mark me off for it without properly explaining what it is.

I'm a little rusty, but I believe passive voice is when something is being done to the subject rather than subject doing an action.
Passive voice: "The bag was carried along by the little girl." (something done to the subject (the bag))
Active voice: "The little girl carried along the bag." (The subject (the little girl) doing something.)

Passive is acceptable in small doses just to change the tone when necessary, and to add a little variety, but it's not supposed to be used to excess. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.

Back on topic, to Mordor with PC. Merry Christmas.

[Lalaith]

PC?
Personal computers? Police Constables?

[Kath]

Political Correctness.

There is this thing at the moment about not calling the winter celebration Christmas because it is insulting to other religions. To me this seems the tiniest bit insane, but then I already assigned overzealous political correctness so I can ignore it :D

[Farael]

Oh Fea, I hear you!! but I think we should cast all essays to Mordor. Specially for us, science students. I know, I have to learn how to comunicate but.... do I REALLY have to write an essay on something I don't care about written by someone who is not really THAT relevant?

Also, I'll cast essay writers who try to sound really smart and use big words to say simple things. For example "the subconscious tendency of the main character in this segment of the plot..." to say "What Frodo really thinks...


Edit, posted at the same time than Kath

Politically Correct speech should skip the Mordor stage and be sent right to heck!! (see? I should have said hell yet I'm censoring myself because someone might find it offensive) The "Winter Celebration" is obviously Christmas... and hey, Jewish people have Hanukah usually around the same time of the year (and it really upsets me that Hanukah has become a Jewish Christmas) and I don't really think other religions would find it offensive. If anything, they'll enjoy the day off work!!

Or for example, a topic I always struggle with. A person with black skin is called an "African American" yet what if they are from the Middle East? or if they came from Europe? furthermore, what do you call an "african american" who does not live in America? African? so you'd have an European African woman or an Asiatic African man? I mean, I honestly don't know if being called "black" can be found offensive but at least, find a different word to replace it for!!

[/End_rant]

[the guy who be short]

Teachers who memorise long words to sound intelligent, and use them repeatedly or out of context. E.g. "My notes today aren't very expletive."

Teachers who manage to bring their children into every single cursed topic. Sigh.

[Firefoot]

English teachers who do not understand the English language. The sentence was something like "During the Revolutionary War, some colonists wanted to break away from England, while others did not." My English teacher was trying to tell us that the dependent clause "while others did not" was also an adjective clause modifying the infinitive "to break" - no! Dependent clauses don't modify anything! And when I tried to explain this to her, she basically told me I was wrong and that she could understand why I was confused. :rolleyes:

[littlemanpoet]

Oh, darned... I'm off to Mordor. Yet, so that I don't get so lonely, I'll assign anyone who does not understand that the north american concept of "personal space" is what in south america is considered the most acceptable distance to be from other people when you want to talk to them.
This is known as "in your face" up here in the N.A. :D

Well now, that will be handy to have in Mordor. Check out ATM, coming soon to a BD Thread near you! :p

[Durelin]

Not being able to turn down a good RPG. Ever. Even if you're missing all your fingers, or, worse yet, your creativity.

;)

[Kath]

Teachers who memorise long words to sound intelligent, and use them repeatedly or out of context. E.g. "My notes today aren't very expletive."
Yes! Yes, yes, yes. Also those who don't actually know the phrase they are trying to use. It's 'the be all and end all' not the 'end be all' - what kind of sense does that make! The explanation? I'm Northern therefore it's dialect. Oh no it isn't! My mother comes from the same place as you oh wise one and she knows how to say it!

Ahem, apologies. I had psychology today.

[littlemanpoet]

May I send horrendously early Christmas preparations to Mordor? You still have four weeks Lal. Four weeks of non-Christmas. Why torment yourself more than you have to? ;)
I love Christmas! But I don't like the radio coming out with Christmas music, and Christmas sales, on November 14. That's ridiculous. Off to Mordor with early Christmas for the sake of the almighty (name your currency here).

[Lalwendë]

Passive voice. This kills me. For years my teachers have harangued me for use of passive voice and I haven't got the faintest idea of what they're talking about. They mark me off for it without properly explaining what it is.

Argh! Passive English! The bane of my life. When I write up minutes I have to try and put them in as passive a voice as possible and when you've got to five or six pages it becomes nigh on impossible to sustain it. What really gets to me is that if I don't use it then someone higher up will 'have words' but there on our Intranet is a link to the Plain English Society (who we are meant to emulate in our writing), an organisation which deplores the use of passive English!

I love Christmas! But I don't like the radio coming out with Christmas music, and Christmas sales, on November 14. That's ridiculous. Off to Mordor with early Christmas for the sake of the almighty (name your currency here).

Ah well, while you're all out battling the hordes on Christmas Eve in Argos for the last packet of batteries and standing in a two hour queue in Tesco then I shall be sat at home, feet up, feasting on chocolate liquers and smoked salmon whilst enjoying a few festive films on the box, knowing I've got everything done early. :p

There is this thing at the moment about not calling the winter celebration Christmas because it is insulting to other religions. To me this seems the tiniest bit insane, but then I already assigned overzealous political correctness so I can ignore it

I'm sending to Mordor the newspapers that always exaggerate these stories about political correctness! The infamous tale of the local authority diktat that said Christmas Lights were to be known as Winter Lights turned out to be written by a junior official and was not actual policy. I bet the poor beggar thought he (or she, let's not be gender exclusive ;) ) was doing 'the right thing' after being sent on endless Equal Opps Awareness courses and then got a real drubbing off the boss! Sometimes you just can't win... :(

[littlemanpoet]

Ah well, while you're all out battling the hordes on Christmas Eve in Argos for the last packet of batteries and standing in a two hour queue in Tesco then I shall be sat at home, feet up, feasting on chocolate liquers and smoked salmon whilst enjoying a few festive films on the box, knowing I've got everything done early.Au contraire! I'll have it all done a good week before. It's the crass commercialism again, deadening the spirit of the thing for the sake of the almighty (here) dollar.

[Encaitare]

Teachers who manage to bring their children into every single cursed topic. Sigh.

My English teacher does that. I really don't like her. Hey, while we're on the topic of English and those who teach it, I'll send her right off to Mordor, along with all the irritating things she's done.

English teachers should not misspell things. Everyone makes mistakes, but those who nitpick about their students' spelling have absolutely no right to make any.

Additionally, they should not make things up, nor should they think that they can get away with making things up because we're ignorant teenagers. They should not claim that a character in Canterbury Tales is practicing necromancy, and then they should not try to make excuses when a certain student (*coughmecough*) asks them to show where it refers even remotely to necromancy and they cannot provide a satisfactory answer. How one gets necromancy from astrology I shall never know. (Oh, that was a fun day... I was the hero of the class for that one. :cool: )

Teachers who memorise long words to sound intelligent, and use them repeatedly or out of context. E.g. "My notes today aren't very expletive."

Yes, she does this too. Once she meant to say "picturesque" but she said "picaresque" instead... and did either one of two things: 1) failed to notice, or 2) assumed, again wrongly, that we, the ignorant teenagers, would not know what the word means. Describing tranquil scenery as picaresque somehow creates a very unusual image in my mind. :rolleyes:

Plus, English teachers should not spend a good month discussing a novella, nor should they take up an entire class period discussing the symbolism of rotting hippo meat. (So Heart of Darkness can go off to Mordor, too.)

And lastly, all English teachers ought to read Tolkien so they understand that "worm" can be used in place of "dragon" if you really need the "w" sound for alliterative purposes, or just want to fit in with the style of Beowulf (and sound really awesome at the same time).

(Somehow my teacher reports that I have an "above average attitude" and gave me an A... I have no idea how that happened. :D )

[Farael]

I won't comment on Christmas as I've had a friend pretty much yell out loud on a lecture in which there are at least another hundred people "WHY DO YOU HATE CHRISTMAS?" and I actually had to explain to the very friendly girl sitting right in front of me that no, I don't HATE Christmas, I just hate chirstmas music and commercials as they start mid-november and by the time Christmas is really around, they became dull and repetitive!!!!!

Plus, Santa never brings me anything.... =(

But I'm not sending Santa to Mordor, this time I'll go off a tangent and send people who won't go to the back of the Bus when it starts to fill up. I mean, why do I have to be squished between the fat guy and the girl who glares at me as if I was actually trying to squish her for some weird sexual pleasure? (I mean, by literally pressing my body against hers having about three layers of clothing in between us trust me, I don't get the least bit exited)

Edit: posted at the same time as Encantaire.... and yes, I agree, I'm sure that Sauron reads Heart of Darkness every night before going to bed.... my that's a torture.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Plus, English teachers should not spend a good month discussing a novella, nor should they take up an entire class period discussing the symbolism of rotting hippo meat. (So Heart of Darkness can go off to Mordor, too.)
Hey, I'm supposed to have half of that read for tomorrow's class! Guess how many pages I've currently completed? Yeah... not half, that's for sure. But black hens, right 'Cai? ;)

I assign... um... when you cough up too much money for a peach smoothie from Starbucks and it wasn't even that good. I could have grabbed an Odwalla smoothie for less and been healthier and happier about it. :cool:

[Cailín]

Teachers who manage to bring their children into every single cursed topic. Sigh.

My Phonetics teacher does that and I actually love it. Anything not directly related to phonetics is a most welcome relief during those lectures...

To Mordor with my vocal coach (though just for a day, I suppose). Even after casting him several wounded looks and sniffing desperately, he still insisted I should be able to produce a clear high 'C', which is hard enough as it is and becomes quite impossible when you have such a bad cold you can only speak in a whisper.

Also, my pronunciation teacher who turns out to be quite an evil dictator. His teaching methods seem to be taken straight out of My Fair Lady, he looks at you as if he will smash your head in when you accidentally say laft instead of left or fail to voice your final d-s and called me 'silly' and said I sounded like 'a valley girl'. I'm not quite certain what a valley girl is, but I don't think I should feel flattered.

I seem to be sending a lot of people to Mordor lately. Perhaps I should try meditation. :rolleyes:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'm not quite certain what a valley girl is, but I don't think I should feel flattered.
I'm not certain what it is either, but my dad has told me that I sound like one occasionally... usually if I'm annoyed about something. So I'm willing to assume that it's not a compliment.

I assign active and passive voices. Yes, I know I already did it once, but now I actually know they are and can conassign them in all of their illogical glory. Who in the world writes about a dead person like he's still up and doing things in the present tense? Of course Homer was worriedabout his repressed libido*. He isn't still worried about it! He's dead! Of course he doesn't "say" things, he "said" them a long time ago! Argh.

*my research paper deals with psychoanalytic theory and Homer's "potentially repressed libido" cameos in it. :D

[Firefoot]

Valley girls are, like, you know, this! That guy was, like, soo annoying!

Think stereotypical blonde California girls. (No offense to anyone from California.)

[Celuien]

Also, my pronunciation teacher who turns out to be quite an evil dictator. His teaching methods seem to be taken straight out of My Fair Lady, he looks at you as if he will smash your head in when you accidentally say laft instead of left or fail to voice your final d-s and called me 'silly' and said I sounded like 'a valley girl'. I'm not quite certain what a valley girl is, but I don't think I should feel flattered.


The "valley girl" is basically a caricature of the 80s San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles, who like, totally, you know, talks like this, like every other word is like, like. And like, it's totally, like, awesome, to have blonde hair. ;)

This Wiki article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valley_girl)sums it up pretty well.

Ah, I see I cross-posted with Firefoot.

[Cailín]

The "valley girl" is basically a caricature of the 80s San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles, who like, totally, you know, talks like this, like every other word is like, like. And like, it's totally, like, awesome, to have blonde hair.

This Wiki article sums it up pretty well.

Okay, now I feel not merely puzzled but actually insulted.

I'm not even a blonde. You know. Ugh, he's so annoying. :o

[Celuien]

Okay, now I feel not merely puzzled but actually insulted.

I'm not even a blonde. You know. Ugh, he's so annoying. :o

I know the feeling, having been teased about potentially turning into a valley girl when I lived there a few years ago. No offense intended to anyone from LA, of course. It's just the annoying sterotype that I'm talking about. In fact, let's send it to Mordor with all the other sterotypes. :D

I assign my grumpy attitude that comes with being tired at the end of the day. The person I was ranting about Monday was so nice to me yesterday that I feel guilty about assigning his past behavior to Mordor, even though it was completely exasperating at the time. Honestly, I almost started to think that he saw the post and knew I was talking about him, even though I know that's not particularly likely.

I suppose I should send my conscience to Mordor to join Fea's.

[Orominuialwen]

I am most distressed... my name has been sent to Mordor, and I want it back!

The plethora of Michaels in this world has never bothered me, despite being known in early school years as "Michael J", or in church as "Michael Joosten Jr." (to differentiate from my grandfather), or simply jumping everytime someone says Mike...
Perhaps I've just been spoiled by the fact that my first name is so unusual I've never met anyone else with it and only one other person in the world (my brother) has the same last name as me. (It's hyphenated, so even our parents don't have it.)


Back on topic, I conassign excessively hard math tests. I didn't even answer two of the questions and there were several ones I did answer that I know couldn't possibly have been right. I thought that was really bad, until I talked to someone else after class, and he said he didn't get to seven questions! That test was just was too hard and long to do in 48 minutes, especially with the very distracting smell of ham cooking throughout most of the period.

[Lhunardawen]

Significant figures in solving Chem problems (especially stoichiometry).

Seriously! Why can't they just be contented with two decimal places?

[Farael]

Significant figures in solving Chem problems (especially stoichiometry).

Seriously! Why can't they just be contented with two decimal places?

How about calculating the standard deviation for chemistry? I mean COME ON, IT'S A TITRATION NOT A STATS PROBLEM.

Also, to Mordor with the profs who will give you four answers in the multiple choice varying only on the sig. figs.... I mean, COME ON... my answer is 0.856 and the options are
0.85
8.5X10^-1
0.855
0.856

Is it not all the same????

[the guy who be short]

Is it not all the same????Only the first two, so you know it's not them. And seeing as you got 8.56, that would have to be the answer.

Hmm, I have nothing I'm angry about... How about sending teachers' timekeeping to Mordor?

[Farael]

Ahhh The Guy Who Be Short!!! you need to review those sig figs!
-0.85 - two sig figs
-8.5x10-1 = .850 -- three sig figs
-0.855 perhaps I made a rounding error?
-0.856

[Orominuialwen]

Ahhh The Guy Who Be Short!!! you need to review those sig figs!
-0.85 - two sig figs
-8.5x10-1 = .850 -- three sig figs
-0.855 perhaps I made a rounding error?
-0.856
Actually the second one is only two sig figs. 8.5*10^-1=0.85


I conassign getting yourself all worked up and angry at somebody, only to find when you go to yell at them that they haven't behaved nearly as badly as you thought they did. You have no way to release all that pent up energy and you feel more than slightly foolish for getting all worked up when the person didn't even really do anything wrong.


I also conassign the City of Madison, for never, ever plowing my street when it snows. We got somewhere between 2 and 3 inches last night, and as of right now (5 pm) the street has yet to be plowed. If they ever do get around to doing it (which isn't very likely), it won't make a difference, becaus the snow's already been driven over and packed down so much that the plow won't move it, so it all just turns into a two-inch layer of ice on the street for the whole winter. For the first 5 years or so that we lived in our house our street was always one of the first to be plowed because a member of the City Council lived in our house before we did and it took the city a long time to figure out that he'd moved. Once they finally realized that, they stopped plowing our street! (Suck ups!)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I conassign Hookbill the Goomba. I might need him in AT-- Er, I mean... because I don't like the way that "hook" and "goom" have the same "oo" sound, but it's pronounced entirely differently. There... *wipes brow* found an excuse.

I also assign my latest tragedy: I went to have a bowl of cereal and when I pulled my soymilk out of the fridge, guess what... yeah... it was frozen solid. So now I'm having a dry bowl of Apple Jacks. And that just ruins my night. :cool:

[Farael]

Actually the second one is only two sig figs. 8.5*10^-1=0.85
I'm almost possitive that 8.5*10^-1 indicates that you are certain up to the 5 and therefore you have a third decimal place of which you are not completely certain (namely the 0)

And two inches of snow? last winter, right before New Year we got two feet!!

Gotta love Canada =D

[Oddwen]

I'd like to see Wedgies and other assorted Creeping Underpants in Mordor.

Also, those dumb vinyl gloves we have to wear in my food service job, that have a cornstarch powder inside them that stays on your hands and everything you touch.

Also, the thought of both of those combined.

I live my life in constant paranoia, friends.

[littlemanpoet]

I (con)assign to Mordor any usage of numbers outside of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. I swear, all these (cough) problems showing up on this thread must be some kind of evil code! :eek:

[Lhunardawen]

COME ON, IT'S A TITRATION NOT A STATS PROBLEM.Did you say titration? Yes, I send that to Mordor as well. That's the third lab experiment we'll be doing and we've just finished the second, so maybe we won't have to do it anymore. :D

And if Farael, tgwbs, and Oromin don't stop that nonsense they're doing, they'll soon be following it to Mordor. :p

Dry coughs belong to Sauron and his minions.

You know what else I conassign to Mordor? The fact that this thread is longer than that other one over there, outside. *points somewhere to the N&N*

[Roa_Aoife]

You know what else I conassign to Mordor? The fact that this thread is longer than that other one over there, outside. *points somewhere to the N&N*

Now, now, it will always be easier to find things to complain about.

I assign disputes with long time friends that could possiblyend the friendship if either party gets overly emotional while trying to talk it out.

I also assign people who get overly emotional over the littlest things.

And, completely unrelated, I assign people who keep promising to call at a certain time, and then forget.

[Farael]

I assign people who keep promising to call at a certain time, and then forget

Why do I keep on being sent to Mordor? =S

On a personal note, I send dust to Mordor... yes, dust.... it is most definetly an invention of Sauron or maybe Morgoth himself.

[the guy who be short]

I conassign Hookbill the Goomba. I might need him in AT-- Er, I mean... because I don't like the way that "hook" and "goom" have the same "oo" sound, but it's pronounced entirely differently. There... *wipes brow* found an excuse.I assign to Mordor people who assign people to Mordor simply because they want the people assigned to Mordor in the Assigned to Mordor thread. :D

[Orominuialwen]

I'm almost possitive that 8.5*10^-1 indicates that you are certain up to the 5 and therefore you have a third decimal place of which you are not completely certain (namely the 0)

And two inches of snow? last winter, right before New Year we got two feet!!

Gotta love Canada =D
No, the 5 is the digit that's uncertain. And the two inches of snow is only because winter's just beginning. Snow can be funny here. Some years we hardly get any, some years it does nothing but snow. It is really cold here, though. Just as cold as many parts of Canada, I'd warrant. After all, you're not that far north of us! :p

I conassign people who try to do things you really should be involved in behind your back in order to cheat you out of things that should be yours. Especially when they're members of your own family.

[Lathriel]

Well, its certainly cold in Alberta! I would like to send that all to Mordor because it is just way to cold. You just have to be outside for a minute and your thighs are frozen. Plus I look like the Michelin Man in my big wintercoat. That can all go to Mordor with the fast express.

[Farael]

Well, its certainly cold in Alberta! I would like to send that all to Mordor because it is just way to cold. You just have to be outside for a minute and your thighs are frozen. Plus I look like the Michelin Man in my big wintercoat. That can all go to Mordor with the fast express.
I most definetly agree, off with cold to Mordor! Although I still want some snow, because if not we won't be able to play snowfootball.... hmmm what a dilemma

[the guy who be short]

People who don't know directions, but are too proud to admit so and end up giving you false directions. I seriously don't like them. It's complete coincidence that they will soon be featuring in ATM.

[Dimturiel]

Long and frequent comercial breaks during a movie especially if the movie happens to be TTT. I mean how can you watch a movie when every twenty minutes there is a ten minutes comercial break? I also send slippery roads and the people who should put salt or sand on the ice. It truly is a dangerous business going out these days.

[Lalwendë]

I send to Mordor Brand Snobs.

I got an i-Pod ages ago and I just did not like it so exchanged it for the MP3 player I have now. I won't list why the i-Pod was not for me and why my current player is so flippin' brilliant, as I get sick of having to justify my choice, that's what I'm ranting about, having to justify it! I'm fed up with people saying "Oh if you had the money you'd have a i-Pod", because I did have one, and I just didn't like it! Likewise people who think that if you drive an old car you automatically can't afford a new, flashy one. They can't take the argument that I'd rather spend £20k on something sensible (or preferably not spend it at all ;) ) than on a BMW that's going to devalue the moment I drive it. And while we're at it, what about those kinds of people who look down on you for not having designer gear? Big deal. At least I'm not in hock to my credit card company.

Rant. Rant. Rant.

In fact, let's just send Flash Harrys to Mordor. :rolleyes:

Oh, and I'm also sending to Mordor people who bring smelly food into the cinema with them.

And the horrible feeling you get from having ate too much for your tea.

And Sky putting a rubbish film on for their big Saturday 'premiere'. :(

[Lhunardawen]

Now, now, it will always be easier to find things to complain about.I conassign that fact to Mordor, too.

I assign to Mordor people who assign people to Mordor simply because they want the people assigned to Mordor in the Assigned to Mordor thread. :DThat would present a problem...Fea's been assigned to the Shire already. We certainly can't have her in two different places at once, can we?

To be more on topic, I conassign to Mordor this keyboard I'm using becauseits space bar doesn'twork very well.

See what I mean?

[Farael]

That would present a problem...Fea's been assigned to the Shire already. We certainly can't have her in two different places at once, can we?


As far as I know, there's only one person from The Shire who went to Mordor as well.... and Fea seems to have been assigned to both The Shire (first) and Mordor after... therefore I must conclude, Fea is Frodo!!

no? well, at least I tried =)

Back on topic, I assign Organic Chemistry to Mordor and the fires of Mount Doom. I do not understand exactly why I'm supposed to memorize all those chemical reactions... THEY ARE ON THE BOOK FOR G'DS SAKE, IF I NEED THEM I WILL LOOK THEM UP RATHER THAN MEMORIZE THEM ALONG WITH EVERYTHING ELSE!!

And on that note, I assign memorizing lists of things to Mordor. Any kind of list.

[Lhunardawen]

As far as I know, there's only one person from The Shire who went to Mordor as well.... and Fea seems to have been assigned to both The Shire (first) and Mordor after... therefore I must conclude, Fea is Frodo!!So Frodo's a female? That explains all that clingy-ness to Sam... :D


Back on topic, I assign Organic Chemistry to Mordor and the fires of Mount Doom. I do not understand exactly why I'm supposed to memorize all those chemical reactions... THEY ARE ON THE BOOK FOR G'DS SAKE, IF I NEED THEM I WILL LOOK THEM UP RATHER THAN MEMORIZE THEM ALONG WITH EVERYTHING ELSE!!As well as those tests for determining unknown cations and anions...uh-huh.


And on that note, I assign memorizing lists of things to Mordor. Any kind of list.Oh, darn. Goodbye, (most of) Biology. What do I have to do in my life now?

I conassign the unwanted and unexpected flying action of time to Mordor. I can't believe I've been sitting here for two hours already!

[the guy who be short]

That would present a problem...Fea's been assigned to the Shire already. We certainly can't have her in two different places at once, can we?

*Sharpens knife* We can't? ;)

Oh dear, now I've entered this thread. Whatever to send... hmmm...

Fires. :D

[Celuien]

I conassign/assign/send/banish the following to Mordor:

Banjos.
Guitars.
60's folk music groups.

I actually like the preceding items to some extent, although they become annoying in excess.

And finally:

Musicians' managers.
Being gullible.

Now those last two are things which definitely belong in Mordor in all circumstances. ;)

[Firefoot]

The flu. :(

And make-up work for school as a result of said flu.

[Kath]

I assign going to a panto rehearsal only to find that the people who were supposed to have been setting up the sound system in their free and had instead been lazing around the common room so that nothing was ready. It therefore took another half an hour to get to the only bit my friend and I needed to be in so it was pitch dark and freezing cold by the time we walked home.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign the soon-to-be fourth draft of my research paper. I've impressed doctors before with my illnesses and I've impressed parents with my responsibility, but I've never before completely confounded two writing lecturers as to how a student can write both informally and formally at the same exact time. Apparently I have rewrite the paper again, but before I can do it, my professor and a few other lecturers in the writing department have to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be fixing it.

How did I manage that?!?? It's so frustrating...

I also assign being cold.

[The Saucepan Man]

I consign to Mordor anyone who uses the Assigned to Mordor thread as a multi-user blog-spot ... :p

Oh, and the little toe-rag who nicked my mobile-phone when he and his friends came round to visit the girl who was baby-sitting for us. :mad:

Hmm, I believe that I just managed to consign myself to Mordor in the space of a single post. :rolleyes:

[Roa_Aoife]

I assign to Mordor the week before finals week- you know, when everything is due, all at the same time, leaving you weak and unable to focus for finals week.

[Kath]

I assign leaving the long post you wrote on the computer at school because you happen to have no brain, and then spending the next 3 hours diligently (if illegally) trying to hack into the school network from home to get hold of it again.

However, I'll assign succeeding to the Shire!

[the guy who be short]

Fizzix. :(

Me: "Sir... instead of creating a complex circuit using multimeters, variable resistors and potential dividers, why not just stick an Ohmmeter in there?"

Physics teacher: "It doesn't display a grasp of complex physics."

So it is that I am utterly failing my needlessly complex physics coursework, which could very easily be replaced by something a five year old could do, for the sole purpose of displaying my knowledge of the complex physics...


Casual discrimination from "anti-discriminatory" people. Just because you detest sexism and racism doesn't make you anti-discrimination - it really angers me when governments, of all things, attack the rights of minorities. If somebody suggested that Asians should be denied the right to marry, or that women shouldn't be allowed free surgery on the NHS... I need not finish that sentence. Yet, apparently, gays and obese people don't matter.


Also, time being snatched away.

And, in addition, BD breaking when you want to post on the ATM thread.

[Elonve]

Parents (who aren't yours) who don't like tounge peircings!!!!!
________
LIST OF GM ENGINES HISTORY (http://www.chevy-wiki.com/wiki/List_of_GM_engines)

[Lhunardawen]

Ammonia. Especially when you've been assigned that chemical for a class lab experiment. It just reeks of Mordor.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign sleeping at inappropriate times no matter how warm and cozy your bed is or how late it was that you made it there because waking up in time for class is one of those semi-important things of pre-finals life.

[Firefoot]

There are these beings who have an amazing coagulating property of being able to clump together and block up hallways wherever there are more than about five of them. Many hallways are crowded, yes, but in most of them you can actually move at a reasonable speed. Stick these ones in, and all of a sudden - you can't. By themselves, they are bad enough (although exceptions can be and are made), but when they're all together, watch out. I hereby assign highschool freshmen to one year in Mordor.

[Roa_Aoife]

I assign to Mordor people who use others as a dumping ground for all their "problems" with out ever asking if the other people have problems of their own to deal with.

[Eonwe]

the researchers are going crazy in mordor. Their latest success is this:

That subtle 'Christmas Spirit' that is in fact a cheap imitation that is bent on subverting teh real Christmas Spirit. It manifests itself in such things as:

Fake Chirstmas trees.

Christmas sweaters with pom-poms sewn on the front.

Fake powdered Christmas drinks.

Blow up Christmas things for your yard. how tacky can you get. (it's even worse because they deflate every night, turning into a blob of colored plastic on front laws)

Far overdone Christmas decorations. These include large signs, too many, too flashing lights, randomly flashing lights, sleighs on the roof, etc.

Not related to Christmas is snow that is threatening to snow you in when you paid 30 bucks for a Trans-Syberian Orgestra ticket, but wouldn't show up a week earlier. :mad:

[piosenniel]

ATM'd:

The concert goer who insists on tapping out the beat to the music, even if quietly done, and who is always . . . always . . . at least a half beat behind the band. :eek:

And the unrepentant, desafinado hummer :rolleyes:

I am bringing a squirt gun next time . . .

[Celuien]

People who constantly, aggrevatingly and exacerbatingly give you directions on how to drive your car when you're doing very well on your own, thank you, and the instructions are only a distraction that increase your probability of having an accident.

[the guy who be short]

People who randomly distribute tacks over pavements, continually deflating my bike tyres.

Edit: Also, opponents to the metric system. Vive le metre! I demand a metric clock.

[Lhunardawen]

Having to travel two hours to go to school tomorrow for a SINGLE class, when I could have started my Christmas break today. Especially when all I'll be doing in that class is listen to my World Lit prof talk about "Antigone" and butt in (at her insistence) every now and then.

[Laitoste]

My neighbors when they sit up until 1:00 in the morning laughing loudly over who knows what when 23-hour quiet hours for finals week started 2 hours before and I want to sleep. The same people who play music loudly while I'm trying to sleep in and my roommate is trying to study. Other than that, I love them...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

My neighbors when they sit up until 1:00 in the morning laughing loudly over who knows what when 23-hour quiet hours for finals week started 2 hours before and I want to sleep. The same people who play music loudly while I'm trying to sleep in and my roommate is trying to study. Other than that, I love them...
Even better... 24-hour quiet hours. A whole week of having to whisper in halls and play music with headphones on. A whole dratted week of hearing people make more noise saying "Shh! Quiet hours." than you were making speaking in a low murmer.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I assign loosing ones wallet in the bus. . . It is not just a pice of leather you are loosing but a whole lot more:

Visa Card
Health Care Card
Drivers Licens
Liverpool FC Support Danish Branch Membership Card
Libary Card
Card to Publick Transportation
and a whole lot of cash. (this is really annoying as I allmost never have any cash on me)

This may not seem like a big deal, but it is hell getting them replaced and I could not get home as I had no acces to money and my Card to Public Transportation.

[Laitoste]

I send Isaiah and Aristotle...that's all I have to catch up on for my first exam, and I find Isaiah exceedingly dull and Aristotle nearly incomprehensible, PLUS we have a confusing translation. It's miserable! Then I have to memorize a timeline of Greek and Hebrew events. Yuck.