What do you assign to Mordor?

[Firefoot]

Isaiah? I rather like the book, myself... :(

Let's see... something to assign to Mordor. The book Catch-22, for being rather redundant and exceedingly difficult to follow and finish. It's humorous, I suppose, but it's not making a lot of sense (I know, it's probably not supposed to) and I really want to have it read by Christmas break (ha! yeah...).

And also Napoleon Dynamite, for being just about the dumbest movie ever.

[mormegil]

I hereby send myself to dwell in Mordor and think about what I have done in this post (http://www.forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=434798#post434798) and in this post (http://www.forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=434830#post434830).

[the guy who be short]

When, in any Real Time Strategy Game, such as Medieval Total War, the existance of your kingdom depends on the whims of the Megalomaniac Emperor to the North. What's the point in existing only as a puppet empire in all but name?

[Amanaduial the archer]

The hot water in the shower running out when you have your hair still full of shampoo.

Rather soggily,
Aman

;)

[Kath]

I assign idiot chavs who think it's so funny to run up behind you and throw jam at you so you have it on your coat and scarf and it's in your hair. However, the feeling that comes from turning around and hitting the chav with the corner of your sledge very, very hard in the shins and erm, shall we say vulnerable bits, is worthy of the Shire :D

Even so, trying to get the jam out was a painful process for my poor head.

[the guy who be short]

throw jam at you so you have it on your coat and scarf and it's in your hair.Am I the only one who thinks this sounds incredibly tasty?

I'll assign being without peers on New Year's Eve.

I'll assign train services on New Year's Eve and Day.

I'll assign having to commute to a different town for education, thus generally cutting me off from my friends a lot.

I'll assign the difference in education that exists between different areas that force me to commute.

I'll assign governments that throw money at good schools. At least, that's how I understand our government works. If not, I'm assigning it anyway. Everybody deserves not just an education, but a good education

[Lhunardawen]

I conassign all the smoke generated by the firecrackers on New Year's Day. Well, at least the odor is not as bad as that of a Chem lab while performing experiments using The Saucepan...I mean, sulfur. ;)

[the guy who be short]

Shows overlapping on TV. I don't even watch T.V. often, but still... 20,000 Leagues under the Sea and Gandhi overlapping is just sad. And their overlapping by 20 minutes is just infuriating...

I mean, Christmas and New Year are meant to be fun, after all. Surely the channels could choreograph their shows? Or something? Sigh.

[Farael]

Shows overlapping on TV. I don't even watch T.V. often, but still... 20,000 Leagues under the Sea and Gandhi overlapping is just sad. And their overlapping by 20 minutes is just infuriating...

I mean, Christmas and New Year are meant to be fun, after all. Surely the channels could choreograph their shows? Or something? Sigh.

You know, I once had this crazy idea in which movie channels started their movies at 15 minutes intervals... so the first channel would start, 15 minutes later (long enough to know if the movie is worth it or not I guess) the second one would start and so on.... the only problem is, TV channels want you to watch THEIR channel only, not others and so they will not help you choose the best program but rather try to force their content on to you

AND THAT I ASSIGN TO MORDOR

As well, I assign the last day of Winter/Summer/Spring break.... it's just not cool when you know University is coming back

[Parmawen]

Fizzix. :(

No, even worse is physics teachers. One day, after writing a completely insane diagram/formula thing on the board, my teacher leans back, throws down the marker and says, "This is one of those days where I am so glad I am not in your seats. I dont' get a thing I just wrote up there." :rolleyes:

I vote we send physics teachers to mordor.

[Celuien]

Amen to that. And you can throw the M25 Motorway and the London Underground in for good measure. In fact, the whole darn London public transport system, which I have to use every day, and which is teetering dangerously on the edge of complete and utter collapse. :mad:

Well... Having just used the London Underground frequently for the past week (had to get my use out of that Oyster Card), I have to say that while it gets very crowded, it's sheer bliss compared to the SEPTA system around here because:

1. You can actually tell where you're going on the Underground. The directions are great. Unlike here, where I wind up counting stops from where I boarded and hoping for the best.

2. It's clean! Trust me on this one. For the Philly equivalents, imagine the oldest, worst train on the District line, then add several layers of dirt, grime, dust, trash and graffiti. Hmm. Maybe I need to pick up the subway in a better neighborhood. :rolleyes:

3. You don't have to wait 15-30 minutes for your train.
3a. Trains come on time.

Don't even get me started about the bus.

SEPTA should definitely go to Mordor before the Underground.

[Lhunardawen]

Excitement. It is a rather uncomfortable state, and I especially dislike how it robs one of much-desired and needed sleep. Not like melancholy, which is generally pleasant, albeit also a bit of a slumber stealer.

[The Saucepan Man]

Well... Having just used the London Underground frequently for the past week (had to get my use out of that Oyster Card), I have to say that while it gets very crowded, it's sheer bliss compared to the SEPTA system around here ...Oh Lordy! Now you have got me going ... :eek:

It appears that you were using the Underground over the period between Christmas and New Year, probably (along with July/August) its least busy period. For a significant portion of Tube-users flee London over this period and few are using it for the purpose of getting to and from work as probably less than half of all office workers are actually working over these few days.

And even then, as you state, it was crowded.

Imagine what it is like at peak periods (ie rush-hours) which are generally those times when I have the misfortune of using the infernal thing.


You can actually tell where you're going on the Underground. The directions are great. Unlike here, where I wind up counting stops from where I boarded and hoping for the best.Yes, the directions are OK, and the Tube Map itself is (admittedly) a masterpiece of design. But if you happen to be stuck in a carriage that is more reminiscent of a cattle-truck run by animal-hating hauliers than a system of public transport, the condensation and the overcrowding on the platforms combine to make it practically impossible to tell which stop you are at. Occasionally, the driver may announce the stop over the tannoy or, if you are really lucky, an automated announcement may assist you. But since, more often than not this will be malfunctioning in some way, you generally need the aural perception of an exceptionally sharp- (and pointy-) eared Elf to tell what it is that is being said.


It's clean!Here is something that did the rounds on e-mail a while back which you may find interesting. (http://www.funjunkie.co.uk/comments.cfm/article=16b15aa9-0f4f-11d6-9ba4-00902742f7ae) (Warning - not for the faint hearted or the easily offended.)

Actually, it has since been proven to be an Urban Myth. :D

But, even accepting that the system is comparatively clean, I would rather use something that actually gets me where I want to go in relative comfort than something that I can eat me dinner off.


You don't have to wait 15-30 minutes for your train … Trains come on time.Not if you happen to be waiting at Wimbledon for a District Line City train between 7am and 8.30am on a weekday, when unfeasibly frequent occurrences of signalling failure somewhere along the line mean that it is often a lottery whether a train will turn up at all (or at least one which will get you to work at something approximating the time that you are meant to be there).

And, even when the trains are running on a regular basis during the rush hour, the sheer volume of people that use it means that platforms are already 4 or 5 deep when you arrive, so you have to stare blankly at 3 or 4 unimaginably crowded trains (from which no one ever seems to disembark at the station you are waiting at) before managing finally to cram yourself into a gap 2 foot by two foot when you get fed up of waiting. If you are at all like me, this is generally the point at which you start muttering bitterly under your breath and people start looking at you as if you are mad. For most have already grimly resigned themselves to the misery of the system and, as any British commuter knows, talking on a tube train, particularly to oneself, is completely taboo (speaking loudly and irritatingly into a mobile phone, so that everyone is able to hear every detail of the speaker‘s conversation, is of course a special exception to this rule).

I suppose that, outside the rush hour and barring the frequent equipment malfunctions, there are limited periods where, according to the intermittently functioning LCD display, you only have to wait a few minutes for a train …

… or so you are led to believe. But, when you enter a London Underground Station, you enter a curious world where time seems to pass in a manner quite different from anywhere else. The display may say that the next train is due to arrive in 1 minute. But in real time (as opposed to “Tube time”), it won’t arrive for another 5 minutes at least.

Hmm. I have run out of points to respond to. Just when I was getting into full swing. Oh well, nothing for it but to continue. :rolleyes:

I cannot finish without mentioning the frequent announcements telling you that the X and Y lines are experiencing delays, but that a good service is operating on all other lines. How nice of them to keep their customers informed, you may think. Well, no. Actually. First off, as the line experiencing the delays is generally the one that you are travelling on, it is somewhat galling to be told what you already know - namely that you are going nowhere. Moreover, they seem to use some strange definition of the word “good” which I had not previously come across. For I have rarely (at the times I travel) experienced what I would regard as a “good” service anywhere on the Tube. Perhaps if they were to announce that a “barely adequate” service is operating on those lines which are not undergoing the habitual litany of delays, malfunctions, failures and malingering staff, they might be speaking closer to the truth.

Oh, and then there’s the amount that one has to pay for the “privilege” of using the “service”. This only really dawned upon me today, with the expiry of my Travelcard. It cost me £6 (US$10.5 on current rates) to purchase a return ticket for Zone 1. That’s £6 to travel two stops! £6!! OK, so you can get Travelcards, Oyster Cards and the like. But they only benefit those who travel on a regular basis.

And they want to dissuade people from using their cars??? Incroyable!

OK. Rant over.

Have I convinced you that it is a system most deserving of con(as)signation to the deepest Pits of the Plains of Gorgoroth, or perhaps even to Udun itself? It most certainly feels like one is there already when one is using it ...

[Formendacil]

I must admit that I don't regularly rant on this thread, but events over the past 12 hours have conspired to leave me with a sense of... imminent poverty... that I feel the need to rage about.

Therefore, I consign to Mordor not having enough money, or not likely having enough money to both travel during the summer and go to school the year after without a loan.

Okay, a probably common dilemma, I admit, but one that should still be sent to Mordor.

On the other hand, I assign to the Shire the hope and likelihood that I will, in fact, be able to swing it. :smokin:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I will take the Ring to Mordor . . .

. . . although I get easily confused with directions.

This nonsensical post is brought to you by your friendly neighbourhood nonsense.

[Noxomanus]

I send to Mordor...

Giant Pandas: because they are creatures eating things they can't even properly digest when plenty more digestable food is around, because they manage to be critically endangered for ages without going extinct and because any other bear should be ashamed of counting a black-and-white couch potatoe among their family members. I hope for them that Mordor's got bamboo.

People that think they pay their dog tax so that the government can do nice things for their dogs,while the true reason is that these taxes are there to limit the number and thereby the nuisance of dogs.

Religious fundamentalists.

Drug-addicts.

Child Molesters.

50 Cent and other rappers that can't really rap and have horrible personalities to boot.

Commercialism.

People that can only answer questions by saying 'yes', 'no' and 'I don't know'

People that don't use proper or close-to-proper spelling in messages and chatrooms.

People in chatrooms with names like 'webcamguy16wantstits'

Ignorant people.

Stupid people that walk off with girls that I would like to walk off with myself.

People that don't understand introverts like me.

War.

Black Eyed Peas

Politically correct people.

People that think they are so great and so funny while they aren't.

Glorification of drinking and being drunk.

Any piercings other then earrings.

[Celuien]

Have I convinced you that it is a system most deserving of con(as)signation to the deepest Pits of the Plains of Gorgoroth, or perhaps even to Udun itself? It most certainly feels like one is there already when one is using it ...

Well, I'll defer to your greater experience with the Underground since I was in fact, only on board from Dec 24 to Jan 2 (even with the strike!). However, should you ever happen to visit the lovely City of Philadelphia, the challenge to ride our so-called public transportation system stands. :)

[Elonve]

I send holiday reading that one must journal to Mordor. Journaling reading spoils everything.

Unrespectable Christmas Trees go to Mordor (i.e. Plastic with fake snow and excesive ornaments)
________
DEPAKOTE PROBLEMS (http://www.classactionsettlements.org/lawsuit/depakote/)

[Glirdan]

I agree with you on the journaling Elonve. It rather take the whole reading enjoyment out of reading. But hey, not when you get to read Lord of the Rings for it!!! :D

I'm sending fish who snap fising lines and take both hook and bait. The crazy little guys are just to greedy.

[the guy who be short]

Stepping. Bucket of Paint. Best suit. Sigh.

[Laitoste]

The Aeneid, which is the first book I really struggled with in a long, long time, and I didn't even enjoy it. That may be because I had to read it in two days due to the nature of my course. But still, most of the "villains" are women!

Not being able to refrain from sarcasm, cynicism, or snide comments for more than 2 1/2 hours. The plan was for my roommate and I to be "sweet" for 12 hours in a row. She only succeeded because she didn't have class today and hasn't seen anyone. I now have to literally remain silent until 3:00 this morning. :rolleyes:

[Roa_Aoife]

I send the first week of school. (It's too early to start!)
Also, computer viruses that make it impossible to get on-line for long periods of time.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I'm not assigning anything. It's just to inform you that, if you ever see my morning of 10 January 2006 in Mordor, do not be surprised. It went quickly to Mordor.

[Elonve]

I am assigning the first day of school to Mordor! Especially when teachers assing lots and lots of work! And when you go home your brother (whose finished a semester of college) can watch all the tv and eat all the cheesecake he wants...
Yeesh!
________
Kitchen Measures (http://kitchenmeasures.com/)

[Lhunardawen]

The use of Filipino as the medium of instruction in my Archaeology class. Don't get me wrong; I love my language (well, most of the time) and I especially love the fact that I'm bilingual. It's just that there are some words that just CANNOT be translated to Filipino and if they try to, they look very distasteful. Try the words mitochondrial DNA, for example. Doesn't mitokondriyang DNA just look sooo weird?

Plus, Filipino words are usually longer compared to their English counterparts, and it's hard enough that my Archaeo prof switches slides very quickly. I normally have to mentally translate the Filipino words to English before writing them down, and that takes more time than I have during the lectures. And it usually takes longer than that to write down the Filipino words.

*exasperated sigh*

Can't the academia just acknowledge the fact that we're better off using English as the primary medium of instruction (except in Filipino classes, for one, of course)?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The O.C. What an awful show. Rich, physically perfect American teenagers living out their boring, pretentious lives. A show designed for the stuck-up. Let the Orcs have it.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

And, even when the trains are running on a regular basis during the rush hour, the sheer volume of people that use it means that platforms are already 4 or 5 deep when you arrive, so you have to stare blankly at 3 or 4 unimaginably crowded trains (from which no one ever seems to disembark at the station you are waiting at) before managing finally to cram yourself into a gap 2 foot by two foot when you get fed up of waiting.
And here I thought that the Boston underground was... fun. If your idea of fun is being packed tighter than if you'd been tossed into a heap and gravity was allowed to condense you. I remember being wedged between three guys... two friends and a stranger. One friend had his arm around me to keep me from falling, as he had a decent hold on something solid, but I still lost balance a lot and seem to remember the stranger getting to know me better than I'd have hoped for. :rolleyes: At least it's pretty clean though.

Conassignation: having your personal space bubble desecrated underground.

Therefore, I consign to Mordor not having enough money, or not likely having enough money to both travel during the summer and go to school the year after without a loan.

Okay, a probably common dilemma, I admit, but one that should still be sent to Mordor.
Common enough that it's shared with me, m'dear.

Conassignation: being a poor college kid (my wallet is empty save a few pennies, nickels, and several forms of ID); being unable to travel because of it; the over-priced everything of Connecticut and the suburbanites that often hail from there; loving friends that are unintentionally clueless about things like money (only to be sent long enough for them to get a picture of what it's like to know that you could never have afforded your dream school if they hadn't given you a colossal scholarship to attend... and even then, it's a stretch... instead of "Oh, my daddy's paying for it.").

[the guy who be short]

For ease, I will now send bigots and close-minded people. As well as confusing somebody's sexuality, most embarassing, I assure you.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Come now, TGWBS, are you really annoyed, or do you have less legitimate plans for making use of this wonderful thread?

By the way, I assign llamas.

[the guy who be short]

Come now. While I may have ulterior motives, bigots and close-minded people should really learn their lesson. If you don't agree with somebody's views, fair enough. But there is no argument for imposing your will on somebody else.

And, for your information, confusing people's sexuality is rather awkward and embarassing. And thus goes to Mordor.

Now what reason could you possibly have for sending cute, fluffy llamas to the Black Land?

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Because, dear boy, I absolutely hate llamas. They serve no practical purpose good enough to convince me that their horrible eyes (there are no whites to them!) are not glaring at me, getting ready to hawk a huge loogie (another thing that should be assigned... that sound is the skeeviest thing in the history of the world) at me, don't deserve Mordorian Assignation. They are always watching you. They are stupid looking. They spit. They step on you for the fun of it. They're creepy, huge, and their only redeeming quality is that they inspired the Song.

I'm surprised I've never assigned them before. Llamas simply annoy me. And skeeve me out. They're worse than chickens.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Losing a long post as you click Reply because your Downs connection goes awry. What a horrible feeling. Twenty minutes wasted.

[Kath]

I'll second Eomer's assignation, but just mention that the countermeasure (write it in Word first and copy and paste) should be sent to the Shire as it has saved many an RPG post in recent months!

I'll also send the school computer system. It no longer lets me on here! For years I've managed to get round the censors but no more. Apparently this site isn't educational enough. Pshaw.

Oh, and my Psychology teacher again (just in case she managed to break out somehow). The woman is just :mad: "I will not carry other subjects" she says, meaning that she will give us 4 huge homeworks to finish in the week we have major exams. I mean real ones not mocks. Anyone would think she didn't want us getting good grades :rolleyes:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign the sort of disgruntlement that makes you want to write an Assignation post the length of the Declaration of Independence that would surely cause The Saucepan Man to comment obscurely about how the forum is not a blog.

Stupid disgruntlement. Making one question everything. Making everything annoy you. Making me want to blow off classes tomorrow because I'm in a bad mood and feel like expressing it somehow in a way that isn't yelling at my friends, since it's not their fault.

And llamas really do belong in Mordor. I thought about it for a while and didn't change my mind.

[Bêthberry]

By the way, I assign llamas.


Because, dear boy, I absolutely hate llamas. They serve no practical purpose good enough to convince me that their horrible eyes (there are no whites to them!) are not glaring at me, getting ready to hawk a huge loogie (another thing that should be assigned... that sound is the skeeviest thing in the history of the world) at me, don't deserve Mordorian Assignation. They are always watching you. They are stupid looking. They spit. They step on you for the fun of it. They're creepy, huge, and their only redeeming quality is that they inspired the Song.

I'm surprised I've never assigned them before. Llamas simply annoy me. And skeeve me out. They're worse than chickens.


And llamas really do belong in Mordor. I thought about it for a while and didn't change my mind.


Oh, Fea, really. You are so transparent. We all know you are desperately trying to include a certain chat mod's theme song in your game posts and you need to justify it somehow.

Of course, if you want to go all po-mo revisionist on us, what better place than here? :D

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'll admit to it, love, if you tell me which chat mod's song it is. I've been away from the chatroom for so long... I totally missed out on any llama references. Alda's a turtle, of course... Ulmo is Elmo, whether he wills it or no. Surely you aren't speaking of your illustrious self?

[Bêthberry]

I'll admit to it, love, if you tell me which chat mod's song it is. I've been away from the chatroom for so long... I totally missed out on any llama references. Alda's a turtle, of course... Ulmo is Elmo, whether he wills it or no. Surely you aren't speaking of your illustrious self?

Oh my, dearie. It's a pity you have forgotten so swiftly some of Alda's hijinks in chat. And a greater pity that I haven't kept logs. :p ;)

And my own contribution to Mordor: income tax forms and private medical insurance/ pharmaceuticals. "Well, if we haven't seen any improvement, maybe we should just stop the drug. It's so expensive and the drug company is giving it to us for free for this trial and does she have drug coverage on her medical insurance?" Honestly, I think I could have heard that line on St. Elsewhere.

And for extra measure, campaign electioneering telephone calls and TV adverts. Hard to tell which offer the greatest 'stretchers', company advertising or political parties.

[Laitoste]

Email. I just humiliated myself by sending an email meant for my mother to the entire language faculty at my school. I don't know how it happened either! I know I didn't type in the address of my school...and the address it went to isn't even near how my last name is spelled... :confused:

[Lalwendë]

Flourescent lights, especially the one above my head. This is a different one to the one I've moaned about before. It's extra bright and extra-evil and headachey and was on for all of five minutes which put me in a foul mood all day. Which then brings me on to the second thing to go to Mordor - people who spread stupid tales around the workplace, prompting you to write long and indignant e-mail messages and have meetings with your trade union rep, only to find that said tale was a big alarmist lie. That's exactly how an Orc would behave. :(

[Orominuialwen]

Nightmares. I had a terrifying and very sad one a few nights ago that my brother had gone missing and was most likely dead. What's even worse is waking up from a nightmare only to find that you've slept late and have to be out of the house in five minutes if you don't want to be late for somewhere you have to be.

[Amanaduial the archer]

Which then brings me on to the second thing to go to Mordor - people who spread stupid tales around the workplace, prompting you to write long and indignant e-mail messages and have meetings with your trade union rep, only to find that said tale was a big alarmist lie. I sense an interesting story behind this one, but I shall refrain from asking for fear of drowning on the potential torrent of rage this could unleash ;)

AS Levels. Yes, the material covered in some subjects is more interesting, allegedly, than in the 2 year A Level course of old. But currently, this is not helping me with the fact that I have public exams really rather soon and am slowly drowning in the sheer volume of work....et que je ne suis pas assez bien a la francais, malheureusement...Je suis trop paresseuse pour le system scholaire...

Also, the fact that there are only twenty four hours in a seven day week. Certainly, this is a flaw in the system: I suspect that there were meant to be eight days each of 25.75 hours, but that somewhere a programmer got it wrong when he was originally writing it in, and, realising that he'd get fired if he pointed it out, quietly continued while the rest of the Universe started to work around the 25.75/8 system in a rather too short day, causing the whole direction of the world to be drastically altered, spinning us into chaos and causing the minds of a generation of British private school sixth formers to explode...

...as seen by this rather disjointed pointed. Shut up, Amana :rolleyes:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign Boys and all complications in life and friendship that arise with, because, and about them. Perhaps, though, it would be more prudent to assign Girls, since there wouldn't be any of these complications if Girls weren't around doing all of the complicating.

And llamas. Have I yet mentioned how dumb looking llamas are? I'm very prejudiced against them. What practical purpose could they possibly serve that couldn't be better served by a pez dispenser?

[Lhunardawen]

I conassign to Mordor people who conassign things to Mordor just because...they know why. They know who they are.

:p :p :p

[Cailín]

I assign my Medieval Irish literature project to Mordor. Even though I knew it was doomed before I even began, I had not thought it to be doomed quite so... permanently.

Also, all kinds of mermaids. Let them take their flashy fins and show em somewhere else.

Finally, with no offence intended to a certain Downer, the entire city of Aberdeen and definitely including its university (though with a slight possibility yet to redeem itself).

There.

[the guy who be short]

I assign aching muscles after trying a new exercise routine. Stretch... silly boy. :rolleyes:

Also, distraction due to hot guys/girls/food resulting in forgetting what you're doing. In general, distraction.

Also, people stepping on your feet.

Finally, incompetency.

[Thinlómien]

Saturday schooldays.
It's just horrible and unfair.

[Celuien]

Have I mentioned that I am deeply, deeply bitter over SEPTA (http://septa.org)? I just spent an hour trying to figure out this map (http://www.septa.org/maps/click_map.html), an impossible endeavor without matching each station to each line's schedule. No transfers shown, no indication of what line is what, nothing. And unless you're going to Center City, and only Center City, they don't tell you what the fare is. But what if you aren't going to Center City? What if you want to go from, oh I don't know, Manayunk to Cynwyd? Didn't think of that, now did they? No, they didn't. Then you have to go back to the schedules, figure out what station is in what zone, how many zones you have to cross through to get back to the zone you started in because that's where your transfer is placed since the lines don't necessarily follow any logical geography - check the R7 for instance - and then go to the fares page and try to calculate the expense (and it won't be cheap) from the wonderfully detailed information "Varies by Zone and by peak/off-peak hours."


:mad:

[Orominuialwen]

My inability to take showers that take less than half an hour. It means that no matter what, I have ice water coming down on me by the end. Also, I often have to skip showering when I'm in a hurry because it takes so long.


The person who most likely stole my final project from jewelry making class, along with several other people's. What's the point of taking other people's artwork to try to turn in? The teacher's going to know where it came from, and it's really frustrating to lose the only glass beads I made that didn't break or explode.

[the guy who be short]

The French phrase "Qu'est-ce que c'est que ca?" Why do they have to say What is this that this is that this? instead of a simple, concise, What's that?

[littlemanpoet]

I conassign to Mordor people who conassign things to Mordor just because...they know why. They know who they are.Let me guess.....

Nah, I think I'll leave you all to ponder, if you need to.

By the way, are you interested in playing next time? I'll bet you end up doing the same. ;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign that point slightly beyond hunger where you stop being hungry. You know that you should eat something, but you're just not hungry any more. Oh, and oranges with too much pith.

[the guy who be short]

I conassign to Mordor people who conassign things to Mordor just because...they know why. They know who they are.
Bah! I assign people who don't read what's already been assigned. :p

I assign to Mordor people who assign people to Mordor simply because they want the people assigned to Mordor in the Assigned to Mordor thread.
By the way, are you interested in playing next time? I'll bet you end up doing the same. There's going to be a next time? And I thought I was part of something special... :( In any case, I can't wait that long.

++Lhunardawen for lack of reading what's been said and for potential future hypocrisy, should she ever be part of an ATM RPG. And also because we killed her brother. Come avenge him! And also because she lives in a very difficult timezone for PMing or WWing.

[Roa_Aoife]

I assign taxes. *grumblegrumble*

[the guy who be short]

I assign people mixing politicians' political life and personal life. Each time I see a politician's private life hit the headlines, I fume. It's nobody's business. Why do people care what politicians do in their spare time? It doesn't affect their ability as a politician at all. :mad:

[Lhunardawen]

Bah! I assign people who don't read what's already been assigned. :p How do you know if I'm assigning it for an entirely different reason? I didn't exactly say anything specific, did I? :p


++Lhunardawen for lack of reading what's been said and for potential future hypocrisy, should she ever be part of an ATM RPG. And also because we killed her brother. Come avenge him! And also because she lives in a very difficult timezone for PMing or WWing.I've been sent to Mordor? Ouch!

Seriously, tgwbs, can't you come up with more reasonable, uh, reasons? :p

[Kath]

I assign having two big exams on the same day. In my case it is the largest unit of biology and then the really enormous geography unit that took us a full 6 months to learn! Now it's partly due to the way I revise but basically it means I only have the time (and ability) to properly revise for one of them. Since biology is technically more important I'm going to have to concentrate on that and just hope I fluke the geography like I did last year.

So, yes, there's my life story! Wish me luck for tomorrow :(

[Lhunardawen]

My own lack of creativity, or so it seems to me. It's scary how one acquires writer's block after only a few hours of deciding to be a writer! :eek:

[Orominuialwen]

My english teacher, for telling me right before finals that I had an A in the class, then telling me the other day that I'd had a B all along and that he hadn't changed the grades since he last showed them to me. He just sat there telling me "I have no way to respond to that," as if I were lying to him about the grade he showed me. It makes me so angry not only to have my GPA dragged down by having a B where I thought I had an A, but to have my teacher insinuate that I'm not being honest.

My e-mail, for refusing to move any of the messages out of the inbox and into my folders. It's so frustrating!

[Valier]

I assign Peas....Yes that's right peas,the little green ones.I hope they burn quickly because the stench would definately make me girf :p

[Farael]

My own lack of creativity, or so it seems to me. It's scary how one acquires writer's block after only a few hours of deciding to be a writer! :eek:
Thats the trick Lhuna... you have to convince yourself that you are NOT a writer and then start writing anyway... you like Biology, right? just tell yourself enough times for you to believe that you are "writing this story to explain some strange biological phenomena to children" or something like that...

I hereby assign exams and lab-notebooks to Mordor... as well as Lab Reports. It gets so hard to report on something you did not discover, but rather followed clearly outlined instructions to get the expected results (or as it seems to be the case with me, to get a really good example of some odd experimental error that hardly ever happens... but it did happen to my sample)

[Lhunardawen]

Thats the trick Lhuna... you have to convince yourself that you are NOT a writer and then start writing anyway... you like Biology, right? just tell yourself enough times for you to believe that you are "writing this story to explain some strange biological phenomena to children" or something like that...

I hereby assign exams and lab-notebooks to Mordor... as well as Lab Reports. It gets so hard to report on something you did not discover, but rather followed clearly outlined instructions to get the expected results (or as it seems to be the case with me, to get a really good example of some odd experimental error that hardly ever happens... but it did happen to my sample)For that entire post, Farael, I send you to the Shire. :)

But I have to admit that I'll have to figure out how to incorporate Biology as I write...oh wait. I guess I'll have to explain a strange biological phenomenon involving an enormous green reptile. ;)

And lab reps definitely belong to Mordor. *thanks goodness that the days of lab reports are long gone* And lab notebooks...geesh, why in Arda do they ask us to purchase a Chem lab manual at the start of the term, then require a schematic diagram of every experiment before we do them? :rolleyes:

Now, to conassign something to Mordor for myself...hmm...

Breaking test tubes, stirring rods, and other glassware in Chem lab. I don't know what it is with me and them, but somehow they manage to slip from my hands and succumb to the force of gravity and undergo an irreversible process that involves the fission of some glass particles.

Oh, I guess the stupid faulty test tube rack deserves to be in their company, too.

[the guy who be short]

I know I've already sent the tabloids to Mordor, but I will not specifically send The Sun to Mordor for its recent abhorrent attack on personal privacy. Nothing would please me more than a few lawsuits against that paper... :mad:

[littlemanpoet]

:mad:

The term 'raise awareness' can go straight to Mordor, and never come back, and never appear in an ATM rpg, for that matter; also, the over-psychologized person who came up with such a sniveling piece of weak-speak when there are at least three, count 'em, three different and better ways to say the same thing:

'get the word out'
'spread the word'
'let people know'

Join me in removing this and other such sniveling pieces of weak-speak from our working vocabularies! Let's spread the word that there are a lot of good old ways of saying things and the latest bureaucrateze is NOT better. Hah!!!

[the guy who be short]

I assign when LMP goes nuts. It's scary.

Also, having to wait for somebody else to post something on this thread so I don't appear to be a grumpy old donkey.

[Thinlómien]

I assign people who are logged in but don't do anything. (Sorry...) The 'Downs are so quiet *sniff*...

[Lalwendë]

I assign people who are logged in but don't do anything. (Sorry...) The 'Downs are so quiet *sniff*...

I sometimes leave myself logged in while I do other stuff and wait to see if anyone posts anything! Yeah, we need a good bout of verbal fisticuffs I think - shall I tempt davem by creating a Hobbit/Legendarium baiting post? :p

Anyway to Mordor with:

Flu - which davem gave me last weekend and I'm still sat at home with a real barking cough and no voice at all. I am now on antibiotics too, as it is on my chest. :(

My neighbours' keep-fit video - I'm sitting here today and the ornaments on the mantlepiece kept jiggling all over the place. I thought there was an earthquake, it was that bad! Then it started again, and again.... Listening at the wall, I could hear they were doing some kind of fitness video, leaping around the living room with all the grace of a troll operating a piledriver. :mad:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Hm... I fear Thinlo's just Assigned me. You see, I'm not used to being visible any more. Generally, in invisible mode, I'd be in the middle of something and have to take off. Window still open, I'd be there... just not doing a blessed thing. Now, visible, I'm afraid I still do it. Now people can simply see Feanor of the Peredhil checking out her User CP for four hours straight on occasion. :p

I assign tempermental seniors. They're such hypocrites, it drives me nuts. Like they've never complained about school policies. :rolleyes:

[Durelin]

I have but one name: Kohlberg. That is who I assign to Mordor.

Why? Well, for teaching the first (or perhaps not) ever 'How to Make People Suddenly Two Dimensional 101.'

[The Saucepan Man]

The term 'raise awareness' can go straight to Mordor, and never come back ...Gah! Not content with me having been assigned to Mordor on numerous counts, you have to go and assign a signifigant part of my job too! :eek:

Actually, it involves enhancing awareness, which you would no doubt consider to be doubly bad ... :D

So, I suppose I had better assign some things to Mordor myself, then ...

OK, I assign to Mordor the escalators at Waterloo tube station (yes, the tube remains the bane of my life). Having been out of service for the best part of last year, they were up and running for a grand total of 3 weeks in December/January before breaking down again. They're working again now, but it's only a matter of time ...

I also assign my new commute to work, which takes a grand total of one hour and a half (at least) every morning and every evening. That, however, is counterbalanced by our new place, which is undoubtedly deserving of assignation to the Shire.

Oh, and while I am here, I shall gratuitously assign to Mordor middle-lane hogs and people who dawdle around in front of me when I am in a hurry (whether I am driving or on foot), in case they have not already been assigned (I forget).

And people who spit their chewing gum out on the pavement, where it seems to lurk just waiting for the moment when it can attach itself to the bottom of my shoe.

I assign people mixing politicians' political life and personal life.Which I would counter by assigning those politicians who lie when questioned about their personal life in a misguided attempt to maintain their political careers when it would have been so much easier (and wiser) simply to admit the truth. Particularly those who belong to a party which seeks to portray itself as "whiter than white" and has made political capital from seeking to expose similar lies told by their political opponenets, and those who have in the past been involved in a political campaign based on condemning those who were open about that which they were seeking to conceal.

And, finally, I hereby condemn Tony Blair to Mordor because I cannot stand the odious man.

Well, that feels better. :D

[the guy who be short]

Which I would counter by assigning those politicians who lie when questioned about their personal life in a misguided attempt to maintain their political careers when it would have been so much easier (and wiser) simply to admit the truth. Particularly those who belong to a party which seeks to portray itself as "whiter than white" and has made political capital from seeking to expose similar lies told by their political opponenets, and those who have in the past been involved in a political campaign based on condemning those who were open about that which they were seeking to conceal.Well then...

I assign societies and cultures than persecute people simply for being who they are, forcing them to conceal their true nature.

I assign being unable to not have the last word. :D

[The Saucepan Man]

I assign societies and cultures than persecute people simply for being who they are, forcing them to conceal their true nature.And I assign, in return, those who are so weak as to feel constrained by such (mild, in this case - certainly now) societal pressures and, at the same time, so desperate to grasp and cling on to power, that they feel it necessary to deny their true (personal) nature and then lie when questioned about it. :p

I assign being unable to not have the last word.Ditto. :D

[Mithalwen]

Well said, SpM...

and since you haven't done so .... I will :D

I hereby consign Tax Returns and misinformation to Mordor.

[Kath]

I assign people who think they know a lot about a subject when they in fact know next to nothing and still insist on being involved in every part of the decision making process.

(I would just have assigned my father but I think I did that already!)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign being unable to not have the last word. :D
I assign split infinitives and double negatives. :cool:

And totally mysterious illnesses that crop up when least expected and don't have you feeling sick, exactly, but you know that there's something wrong.

[Anguirel]

I assign the Valley of Lost Things.

Why does it have to steal the most vital little red bits of paper?

[Lhunardawen]

I assign crazy pop-up windows in this computer I'm *closes pop-up window* currently using that I have to close *closes pop-up window* every so often.

But wait...there's more!

I assign the computer itself, for logging me out of MSN Messenger while I speak, so to speak, with someone. Grrr! :mad:

And I assign having to say goodbye to things you've somehow become attached to. And the people who are responsible for such things happening. *gives Nilp a big :p*

[Lhunardawen]

Show-offs, know-it-alls, and people who butt in in conversations with a show of either of those two are without a doubt worthy of Mordor.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Biting into a soft tomato. You can't get the taste out of your mouth, you can't get the feeling out of that dull squish and it ruins the entire rest of the salad for you. :(

[the phantom]

...and it ruins the entire rest of the salad for you.
Serves you right for eating a salad in the first place. Anything that isn't fried, filled with meat, or bursting with sugar is not fit to be eaten.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Serves you right for eating a salad in the first place. Anything that isn't fried, filled with meat, or bursting with sugar is not fit to be eaten.
Meat? Eew. :p I assign meat to Mordor. Ha. Take that, le fantom.

[the guy who be short]

Meat? Eew. :p I assign meat to Mordor. Ha. Take that, le fantom.In which case I shall assign hypocrisy. ;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

In which case I shall assign hypocrisy.
While I certainly agree that hypocrisy belongs in Mordor, I'm not certain how my assignation of meat pertains. Do tell, ol' boy.

[Lathriel]

Its about time that I send something to Mordor because it has bee irking me for quite some time now.
MY FRENCH TEXBOOK!!!!!!!!! :mad: :mad:
There are lots of shiny pictures and "cultural explanations" but where are the verbs? Where is the grammar? It is pushed somewhere in the back of the book and just to make it worse it is unclear what they mean!!!!

[the guy who be short]

While I certainly agree that hypocrisy belongs in Mordor, I'm not certain how my assignation of meat pertains. Do tell, ol' boy.Why, what are you made of, silly? :p :D

I'll assign getting muddled up too, for good measure.

[Encaitare]

I assign my biased AP American Government textbook. It tells us foolish things such as that the causes of the American Revolution were entirely idealogical and not economic. Yeah. Because the Founding Fathers and Patriots woke up one day and said,

American 1: "Gosh, we're so rich and peachy keen and life is pretty good, but we're just a bunch of colonies, which bites."
American 2: "Now I feel a pout coming on. Hey, let's annoy the heck out of the most powerful nation in the world."
American 3: "But how are we going to do that?"
American 2: "Well, we could not buy stuff."
American 1: "And chuck a load of tea in the harbor."
American 3: "Can I wear this Indian costume I bought for last Halloween?"
Americans 1 & 2: "Sure!"
American 3: "Sa-weet!"

:p

Additionally, it contains the following sentence: "Political candidacies, like people, are not the products of a virgin birth." What. The. Fork. Perhaps I should write an irate letter demanding that in the next edition they include a footnote that says, "except for Jesus". :rolleyes:

Thirdly, they made a special "Post 9/11 Edition" which some people in my class have. It declares itself to be this edition right on the cover with a cloudburst or star or something, which I think is pretty tasteless.

Meet my friend Nicole, who clearly doesn't like the textbook either. (http://photobucket.com/albums/y2/ElvenPirate41/Random%20Stuff/th_nicole.jpg)

So off to Mordor with you, textbook -- nay, straight into Mount Doom to BURN.

[Roa_Aoife]

Meat? Eew. I assign meat to Mordor. Ha. Take that, le fantom.

I assign vegitarians to Mordor. Silly herbivores, carnivores rule!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Hm... if we're assigning what people eat, may I assign anybody in the world that actually thinks pickled cow tongue sounds appealing?

Dave Barry once described it as something someone would nail to a door to ward off demons. I can't say I disagree.

[Lalwendë]

Biting into a soft tomato. You can't get the taste out of your mouth, you can't get the feeling out of that dull squish and it ruins the entire rest of the salad for you. :(

Eyuw! I assign to Mordor any food related disappointment. I cooked some lovely haddock fillets last night and for some reason they smelled of ammonia so they had to be chucked away. :(

But while we're on the subject of meat and carnivores, I assign to Mordor something very peculiar, animal instinct. My cats sat in the kitchen for the whole day today and this evening I heard a noise and went in there to find they'd killed a little mouse. Obviously I don't want mice in my house and my cats were pleased with having made their first kill, but the poor little thing still had its eyes open and looked untouched. :(

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign professors that give you bad grades for inexplicable reasons.

[Kath]

I assign friends who seem to be deliberately messing things up. Who have known for weeks that an interview will fall on the same day as my birthday and so will be unable to come to the celebrations, but didn't bother telling me until 2 days ago, leading to more complications than I can count.

*sigh* And it's supposed to be such a happy day :(

[Lhunardawen]

I assign unexpected problems that turn out in phone companies that cause a third of a country to have to go without internet connections for the rest of the day. One of the unfortunate victims happened to be a young lady of seventeen who was wondering why she can't send a PM or open a thread, and as a result she wasn't able to reply to some PMs nor clear her PM box enough to let other PMs in. :rolleyes:

And on a less self-centered note, I assign utterly nonsensical catastrophes, such as stampedes, that claim as much as 72 lives - most if not all of whom were among the less fortunate - and occur right before a supposedly joyful event. :(

[Mithalwen]

I assign to Mordor anyone who expects me to take an interest in football just because of the World Cup. I feel about football the way a vegan feels about steak. It could come from the finest cow, be cooked and served by Jean-Claude Novelli and they still wouldn't want to eat it. So watch it if you want, stick a hideous, tacky and probably inaccurate, plastic flag on your car if you really must, just don't expect me to give a toss...

I am hoping to find a part of the globe whare I will be safe but since someone felt oblige to inform me of scores last time even when I was flying over SE Asia ..I am not hopeful :(

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'll agree on sports obsessiveness, Mith, but the thing on my mind right now is prank phone calls.

While I can appreciate the classic runnng refrigerator gags, my friend and I got a call last night that scared us into going from barefoot and relaxed in my top floor room to boot-clad and jacketed, half way across campus running, in less than a minute. It was the biggest relief of my recent life to get the call back half way to our destination saying "What did she just say to you? No, I haven't even left yet."

Prank phone calls aren't always funny!

PS: I'm pretty sure I sound like a parent at the moment.

[Kath]

I assign pop ups windows that appear and then, whether you click on them or not, take you to another site and won't let you return. When this happens in the middle of a long PM, well :mad: So sorry Nilp but that's where your reply just went - oblivion!

Oh, and suddenly finding out you have a rather large piece of coursework due in on Friday only two days ago. Bah.

Also being unable to find a screencap because the one episode you want apparently doesn't exist in screencapping-land.

[Mithalwen]

I assign to Mordor:

"Baby on Board"/"Child on Board" labels on cars. So what? I wasn't actually planning to ram your car ...

Tights that despite costing £5 a pair, ladder as you put them on for the first time or decide to roll down at the worst possible moments.

The magnetic force that white shirts exert on coffee and new clothes exert on any indelible substance that happens to be in the vicinity.

[JennyHallu]

Brand-new internet connections that like to flash in and out, just to see if you're still paying attention. Sorry Farael but that's why I disappeared last night.

[JennyHallu]

..but I simply must add dumb people who put the heater and the thermostat on the upper floor of my apartment...

And workplaces where the heat isn't working right.



I just moved to the deep South! It's 50-60 degrees outside every day in FEBRUARY, for goodness' sake! Why, oh why, must I freeze???

That's all for now...signing off,

Icicle-Jen

[Cailín]

The expression: "it's a guy-thing."

What is a guy thing? What does it mean? Isn't it just some weak excuse not to have to explain disturbing decisions and actions? Is it a secret conspiracy? Blah - it's just so unfair.

[Enedhilion]

I assign Ignorant people to Mordor.
Dislike 'em.
=]

[Roa_Aoife]

I assign Ignorant people to Mordor.

Well, that's a whole lot of people in Mordor. I assign this week. This week has simply been the worst week I've had in a long time, and it can go straight to Mordor.

Also, I assign people who post more on this thread than on the Shire thread. Pessimists.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Also, I assign people who post more on this thread than on the Shire thread. Pessimists.
Ah, but my Shire posts are longer and better written... that must count for something. :p

I assign professors that don't check their e-mail. If I'm on the 'Downs after 11:30, it means I got kicked out of class. Again.

[Lalwendë]

I assign workplace pedants and all such people who have the tendency to micromanage and bring out their inner teacher. When you ask a colleague if they will check over something you have written to see that they understand it and they feel the need to stand over you suggesting where commas and capital letters ought to go. And you get one in every single place that you work, that's the worst thing about it. You cannot argue with them despite the fact that your blood is boiling and you just want to leap up and go "I didn't ask you to get a mental red pen out on my work! Clear off, you patronising %$*!". The only way you can fight back is with equal pedantry, witness my come back comment today after such an event: "Oh, I've reformatted all your papers as they were in size 11 font and size 12 is the standard." *insert evil smiley*

:D

[Cailín]

Finally, with no offence intended to a certain Downer, the entire city of Aberdeen and definitely including its university (though with a slight possibility yet to redeem itself).

I never thought I'd say this... but I take it back! Woohoo. :D

Oh right, I'm supposed to be sending things to Mordor huh? Err... having to sing in front of an enormous audience when you have a soar throat and don't know if you remember the lyrics? No, who am I kidding, it was wonderful! Err... being unjustly suspected in werewolf games? Nah, I'm over it.

I shall just have to settle for assigning leprechauns. They are scary. Garden gnomes, too. :eek:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign never getting mail that you want. Junk mail and bills aren't welcome!

[Caunwaithon]

Well, when I think of mordor, I think of Orcs. Thousands of them.

And when I think of orcs, I think of my friend carl.

Not because he looks like one, but because if he was a character, he would be one. He's utterly insane, and funny to boot.

Also, I think of the space needle. I forgot exactly where it is (Toronto, I want to say?)
, but it always reminds me of the tower of Barad-dur, lol.

[Lhunardawen]

Headaches.

Waking up one morning to find that you are too weak to get up.

Whatever causes those two things.

[Celuien]

The snow plow driver on my street. Now, when there's a foot of snow on the groud, the roads need to be cleared. This driver does that and I appreciate it, but he also has some issues. Like pushing snow back into the nice driveway that I've just been helping to clear while I'm standing right there watching with a shovel in my hand, even though we've made the requested extra cleared area for the plows to use. I shouldn't complain, I guess. A few years back we had someone who was a 'reckless' plow driver in addition to the driveway re-covering. Used to speed down the narrow, winding street that even I, Celuien, ATMed for speeding, won't go above the speed limit on, while plowing snow in the pre-dawn hours. He used to knock down all of the mailboxes around the curves in the street every time the road was cleared until there was an acutal township government meeting about reckless snow plow drivers. Seriously.

Oh well. At least the road and driveway are clear now. And the snow is pretty.

[Encaitare]

When you ask a colleague if they will check over something you have written to see that they understand it and they feel the need to stand over you suggesting where commas and capital letters ought to go.

Uh-oh... that sounds a lot like me. :eek: *hides under table with red pen*

And I think I am not alone when I say that Valentine's Day is worthy of Mordorian exile.

[Firefoot]

Speaking of snow plow drivers, how about all the ones in my town? It's not like we live in some southern place where snow is unheard of and we have no idea what to do with it - or at least we should know what to do with it. :rolleyes: It's pretty sad when, after it's been snowing pretty heavily since 4:00 yesterday evening to find that there is still about a foot of snow on all the roads except the most main ones, and even those are pretty pathetically done. So maybe it's more of the town than the snow plow drivers themselves.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

No, 'Cai, you aren't alone. I co-assign Valentine's Day and all related activities, such as expected smooches, giving gifts, spending loads of money you don't have on people you should be appreciating year round, the fact that it's loosely translated to Singles Awareness Day and even though I'm not single, it's that much worse because of it.

You know why it's that much worse? Because you're apparently not allowed to loathe the romance holiday as passionately as I do when you have A Boy. You know why? Because your single friends (all of whom apparently love the lame teddy bears, chocolates, and flowers I'm allergic to anyhow) get mad at you.

I assign every person who asked me what I bought my guy for Valentine's Day and told me I was a bad girlfriend for refusing to participate in the stupid tradition. It's not even a sweet cuddly holiday in the first place. Saint Valentine + really violent death does NOT = ooh, let's cuddle.

No, 'Cai, you aren't alone.

[Celuien]

And I think I am not alone when I say that Valentine's Day is worthy of Mordorian exile.

Nomination thirded. Valentine's Day is not a real holiday, just another reason to go out and spend money on silly greeting cards. And the Singles Awareness Day aspect of the whole irritating spectacle definitely makes it worse for me. :rolleyes:

[Lathriel]

I will fourth that since it always makes me so aware of being single and because it is so materialistic.

[littlemanpoet]

I think I am not alone when I say that Valentine's Day is worthy of Mordorian exile.
No, 'Cai, you aren't alone.Nomination thirded.I will fourth that since it always makes me so aware of being single and because it is so materialistic.
Hmmm..... it appears we have a prime candidate for inclusion in ATM2.

Oh! I'm posting! :eek: Quick, something to assign! Umm....... how about ...... high gas bills. Best I can come up with.

[Oddwen]

I want to see assigned...the Beach Boys. I hate their music. Hatehatehate. My brother likes them. He plays them. All. The. Time. I would also like to send people who play/sing music just because they know you hate it. There ya go, Sam, have fun. *punt*

Also, the other bands I can't stand, if I haven't mentioned them already.

Weezer
Green Day
Blink182
Creed/Scott Staph
Starland Vocal Band
The Rolling Stones
AC/DC
Dream Academy
English Tea Set
Foo Fighters
Fall Out Boy
Go Fish
Michael W. Smith
Mark Heard/Ideola

I hope y'all in Mordor have a nice concert.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Hmmm..... it appears we have a prime candidate for inclusion in ATM2.
So it does. I'll ponder a bit while I should be doing homework.

Speaking of that, I assign homework. College would be a lot more fun without it.

[Lhunardawen]

Oh, geesh. I knew I should have sent Valentine's Day earlier. But thanks, Enca. ;)

Anyone with me (and whoever I got this idea from :p) wearing black on February 14, and laughing at those wearing red? Should be fun.

Hmm...I also conassign losing the food you just bought to the force of gravity, and when you buy the same thing again, you get it in a lesser quality. Bleh.

[Lalwendë]

You should all get yourselves to Asda, the UK supermarket selling the 8p Valentine's day card (and it's a pretty dull kind of greeting card, let me tell you) . I bet they sell out in Yorkshire... :D They also do £60 wedding dresses. Wonder if they'll start to make £9.99 wedding rings that make your finger turn green too? Love on the Dole, eh? ;)

Oddwen, I like some of those bands, so I'll have to go to Mordor too then..... But on a 'musical' theme I assign to Mordor the UK pap pop band Girls Aloud. I see one of them has been saying she will not attend the Brit awards as their group was not nominated but Madonna was. Oh dear. Sour grapes. In fact I send to Mordor any pop music which comes off the back of these horrible 'talent shows'. And I also send to Mordor shops which blast it out of their speakers making you not want to shop there any longer. Why can't shops just be quiet?

[JennyHallu]

Oh, come now, children. Don't get petty about Valentine's day...

I will come right out and say it, this is the second perfect Valentine's day I have ever had. Or so I anticipate it being...but then, even this one may have a hard time beating last year's...Last year, my boyfriend proposed at a party on the 12th (which is what happened to be a Saturday) and sent a dozen red roses to my home on the actual day.

So sorry, guys, but I feel I must assign to Mordor those bitter people who take satisfaction in being bitter about the happiness of others on Valentine's Day.

Besides, keep the glass half-ful....a friend of mine takes herself and other single friends out to eat and to a movie every February 14th, no couples allowed, in celebration of National Singles Awareness Day.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'll be petty if I want to be. :p The day was a lot cooler when it was still centered on Lupercalia... before the Church got involved... and then before capitalism took its toll. Just like Halloween. :rolleyes:

I assign cost differences in camera models. The film camera I want? About $200. The digital version of the same model? Closer to $1000. And I need both. I assign the fiasco it's going to be trying to convince my parents that I actually need them too... :rolleyes: I'm sure that'll go over well. "Hey M&D, I'm transferring colleges to one that's probably going to cost more and I'm doing it because I'm switching to a major that has a lot less likelihood of securing a career right after college, oh, and I need to spend a few grand on photography stuff." Assign, assign, assign.

[Mithalwen]

Oh, come now, children. Don't get petty about Valentine's day...

I will come right out and say it, this is the second perfect Valentine's day I have ever had. Or so I anticipate it being...but then, even this one may have a hard time beating last year's...Last year, my boyfriend proposed at a party on the 12th (which is what happened to be a Saturday) and sent a dozen red roses to my home on the actual day.

So sorry, guys, but I feel I must assign to Mordor those bitter people who take satisfaction in being bitter about the happiness of others on Valentine's Day.

[/B].

Get thee to the Shire and let us Bridget Jones be bitter in peace then you smug married person :p I have just discovered that the Valentine I spent all weekend crafting in certainty that the recipient would find it amusing will in fact be completely insensitive and unwelcome ... so I happily assign the wretched festival and quite possibly the object of my affection to Mordor...but I thnk he would like it there :(

[JennyHallu]

I have just discovered that the Valentine I spent all weekend crafting in certainty that the recipient would find it amusing will in fact be completely insensitive and unwelcome


Blegh...that sounds awful. My suggestion? Go get him candy. Sweets for the sweet...always has the power to make him feel just a little better, if he's going through a tough time. (And your phrasing made it sound like he might be.)

And because it is important to ensure you single people remember I'm human...

I assign to Mordor all the retarded state governments that can't figure out how to put the license plate and the driver's license bureaus in the SAME BUILDING with the SAME HOURS. Hail, to thee, my homeland! May I soon enjoy the sight of thy beauteous hills! (Yes, it's a little weird to refer to Indiana quite so romantically, but deal with it. They're saner there. Marginally.)

I also assign to Mordor the company my husband works for. Their payroll changes mean we don't get a paycheck this week, and this week is when we're likely to need it more than a little.

While we're at it, I would also like to assign the hamburger I had for lunch. It was tasty, fresh, and inexpensive, but it dribbled ketchup down the front of my blouse. Some receptionist I am...I have a big red splotch on my chest.

[Formendacil]

Your Honour,

I would like to assign Valentine's Day to Mordor, being fully aware that it is already serving an extended sentence there. I should however, like to prosecute it under new charges, and see it serve a sentence for them seperately.

I would like assign Valentine's Day to Mordor as one of the foulest examples of the perversion of an originally Christian holy day to a foul example of modern crass consumerism, rife with stench of physical gratuity, modern concepts of romance, and all sorts of ethical thoughts concerning the relationship of a man and a woman that run completely counter to the religion that the man for whom the holdiday is named believed in. If the proponents of modern lust gratification and the infatuation equals love movement wish to celebrate a day with a disgusting display of pink, red, and shapes roughly resembling a woman's bosom, I would ask them not to pick a day named for a Christian, indeed a Catholic, martyr.

The prosecution rests, Your Honour.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I would like assign Valentine's Day to Mordor as one of the foulest examples of the perversion of an originally Christian holy day
And I would like to assign Valentine's Day to Mordor as one of the foulest examples of the perversion of an originally Roman festival (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupercalia).

[Formendacil]

Well, I guess I'm specifically assigning the use of a martyr's name for the purposes of promoting fornification and licentiousness to Mordor... but anything maligning the Romans Anciens can go to Mordor as well.

[Holbytlass]

I assign to Mordor the weirdest (probably only in the U.S.-which explains alot) tradition of having elementary school children (ages 5-10ish) send their classmates little love cards. A time when most children and especially boys don't like-like each other nor should they.

I also nominate myself to Mordor for the ridiculous idea of handmaking about 90 of these little love cards with my 3 girls instead of going to Walmart and buying 3 packs of cheap cards and just sign their name! I am my own worst enemy!!

[JennyHallu]

We always got little "friend" cards. And I think making them is really cool. ;-) Good luck with that.

I assign this sinking suspicion I have that I am living proof of the validity of Murphy's Law. Well, not the suspicion. The evidence.

Oh, and my bank. They say we have 300 dollars in our account but they also say we're 500 in the red and have stopped our debit cards.

*facedesk*

[Thinlómien]

I assign my little sister and patting on the head. The combination is aggravating.

[Eonwe]

The sound of the dentists picks scraping and scraching against your enamel. :shutters:

[Oddwen]

Or even worse...the sound of a dentist's drill making that horrible "hvfweeeeee" noise, and the feel of it encountering resistance from your teeth and moving your entire head with it...*shudders*

Or when they give you the shot to numb your jaw, after the topical application. That horrid pushing feeling in that sensitive spot where your jaws hinge.

[Eonwe]

Yes, yes!! ARRR I hate that! Even worse is them cutting into your jaw to remove your wisdom teeth, when you are still semi conscious. All i could feel was really strong pressure. I knew what was coming, and was just conscious enough to think that I had to fight it, and just concious enough to know that there was nothing I could do. Semi concious panic is really bad.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign the idiocy of popping pills with no water. I was sitting in the middle of class with a splitting headache and one of the pills caught in my throat mid-quiz. I mean... seriously, it's hard enough writing a mini-paper comparing Odysseus to Dante while trying to remember if you got the seven deadly sins right on question one and wondering what the heck Filippo Argenti actually did without an Advil liqui-gel stuck somewhere near your collar-bone. :rolleyes:

Really, I should just assign the headaches that have plagued me for the past few weeks. They really ought to go away and leave me be. When you're swearing at the moon for being too bright, there's a slight problem. :(

[Oddwen]

I assign the idiocy of popping pills with no water.
Do you mean the necessity? Or the people who can do it and flaunt it?

The necessity is a horrid thing, but consider the case of my brother Sam who can and does swallow upwards of seven huge horsepills daily sans liquid. And then smiles at me chugging away.

And on behalf of my sister, I shall assign having a mouth so small that you can't swallow pills and so small that the dentist is impeded and complains.

[Kath]

I assign being ill on holiday and on your birthday :( Celebrating is no fun when you can't breathe.

[Nerindel]

I assign the irratation of finally finding the time to fill my long over due save only to have my success thwarted by error 502 :mad:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Do you mean the necessity? Or the people who can do it and flaunt it?
I mean the necessity. I was in the middle of a quiz in the middle of class and I'm currently mysteriously ill, so I didn't want to borrow a friend's water. Usually I can swallow even the largest pills without water, but I should have known better than to try two at once with a sore throat.

I also assign the sheer annoyance of finding little chunks of meat in your "meatless" spaghetti sauce. If I'd wanted meat sauce, I'd have taken it from the kind labelled as such!

[Farael]

I assign the fact that you need to rep 10 other people before you can rep someone you've repped before. Now I owe Nilp TWO reps and I made the big mistake of letting him know through PM, which means that now he'll be stalking me until I fulfil my promise

On that note, I assign Nilp for being so rep-thirsty.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

On that note, I assign Nilp for being so rep-thirsty. (Farael)Won't work. I'm already here. Made a cameo, even. (That was loads of fun. :D )

Besides, I'll be reminding you through reps. Don't you like reps? ;)

[the guy who be short]

I assign the way the gasman always comes when I'm in the bath.

Also, Kath leaving for extended periods of time. It makes MSN boring.

[Kath]

Ah but Kath always comes back!

I assign computer programs that won't set up for no apparent reason! I mean, one did, but one won't - why!

[the guy who be short]

Once again, A Medieval Total War related assignment.

I was quite pleased with myself and my empire stretching from the Balkans to the North Sea, not to mention my Crusader holdings, when three - yes THREE - different nations attacked me within the space of three years. One of them was the Pope.

Anywho, because of this, I would like to send ganging up on others to Mordor. Those countries have no right to behave in a co-ordinated, united manner when I could devour them piecemeal! Oh, wait...

[Lathriel]

These past three days can go to Mordor.On wednesday I found out that the essay I thought was due in another weeks time was due on Friday. Plus I had a midterm to study for. Basically I had no life for two and a half days!!!!

[Kath]

To Mordor with people who cancel on you at the last minute. As in, half an hour before they're supposed to be somewhere, and in doing so really bleeping you off so that it becomes a real effort to enjoy yourself.

[Encaitare]

1. Economics class. I thought I was done with math, but noooooo, here comes big nasty AP Macroeconomics to devour my soul and make me feel dumb.
2. Friends who become very full of themselves and act mean.
3. The bookstores never having the graphic novel you need to complete the collection.
4. When you are about to do someone a favor and he suddenly says something stupid and you think "what a jerk" instead.
5. Having to sing pieces in chorus which are not only religious in nature, but also devoid of anything melodically or harmonically interesting.

[the guy who be short]

The way all the people I consider to be my Barrow-peers are 18 or older. I feel so... I don't know. Not small, I'm that already. Sort of lonely.

Why? Why must you all be grown ups?! Stupid aging process.

[Lhunardawen]

I conassign gravity to Mordor, for having a large hand in breaking my beloved mug that has faithfully served me for nearly a quarter of my life. :(

And idiotic fastfood cashiers who don't place "Next Counter Please" signs on supposedly closed counters. I've been waiting in front of one, impatiently tapping my long nails for several minutes, then this female who's previously been "playing" with the microphone looked at me and asked, in this condescending "Hey kid, have you lost your mom?" voice: "Are you going to order something?"

Geesh. I had to do my best to keep from replying "Naw, I lost my mom. Can you help me find her?" :rolleyes:

Apparently my annoyance was too clearly noticeable in my expression that the male cashier who finally took my order screwed up somewhere in his cashier- litany. Hah.

[Lalwendë]

I assign when days out go wrong.

So we wanted to go to Haworth but the car was encased in perma-frost. We decided to go to Hebden Bridge on the train instead. First of all, we got on the slow train to Leeds and almost died of tedium. Then we get to Hebden Bridge and decide to walk up to Heptonstall, abandoning this half way as it was like climbing Everest; on the way down we see that there were regular buses up there anyway, but have spent so long talking to a rather handsome ginger cat that it was now a little late. Then we go and have something to eat only to be entertained by a loud conversation at the next table going into intimate detail about everything her friends ever ate for every meal and the calorie content of said foods. I then enter a bookshop and hold a door open for an old lady who does nothing to thank me but pass wind loudly in my direction. We later attempt to get on a train which is jammed to the rafters with idiots and get tutted at as we get off this cattle truck and go instead for the quieter local train. :rolleyes:

Still, we did make friends with a nice cat, and I got some nice books. ;)

[Kath]

I assign Fea for liking both Dr Pepper and marmite - what is wrong with your taste buds! :eek:

Also, dozing off 4 minutes before the programme you need to tape starts so that you wake up 10 minutes in and leap off the sofa to press the record button, forgetting you're still wrapped in a blanket and so making an oh so hilarious face first dive onto the carpet.

[Eonwe]

I assign chemsitry class and spesifically the type of online problems we have to do. OWL just SUCKS! It makes it, by my estimates, at least 40 times harder... :mad:

[Firefoot]

Waking up five minutes after you should have left for school... I'm still not really sure whether I actually slept that long or whether I woke up at the normal time, thought, "Oh, it's Saturday," and rolled over and went back to sleep. It seems that I remember doing so, but I'm not sure. Yeah, I was tired.Originally posted by Oddwen
Also, the other bands I can't stand, if I haven't mentioned them already.
...
Michael W. Smith Now come on, he's one of my favorites. I assign Oddwen to Mordor for that. :p

I also assign Kath for assigning Fea for liking Dr. Pepper. There goes one of my favorite pops...

[Eonwe]

Walking and people that make walking a general pain: Trying to maneuver you way into a classroom when someone is walking on the LEFT side of the hall (their left, that is! :mad: ) and is coming right at you. People that enter a building using the LEFT door, which, as everyone knows, is meant strictly for exiting. People that walk into an elevator the instant the door opens, no matter if four people are disembarking. That kind of thing...

[Lhunardawen]

Long nails. Nilp scratched me (accidentally? hmmm...) with his the other day, and now I have a disturbing little wound at the back of my left hand.

[Lhunardawen]

I conassign to Mordor my complete inability to draw, and the occasional circumstances that slam it in my face.

And very easy exams, the kind that make you paranoid that somehow, somewhere, there's a catch. More so when the exam is Calculus. :eek:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I've never done this for personal benefit, but this one is really called for.

I would like to give timezones a very uncomfy permanent spot in Mordor. The worst one anyone could find, if possible. Maybe they could scrub the toilets of trolls of Gorgoroth.

I have little inclination to ponder the effects of my deed, so I'll just leave now.

[piosenniel]

. . . the number of years I have left to work before I can retire . . .

[Bêthberry]

Snow.

The dense, hard-packed ice cairn variety, that doesn't go crunch. The kind that has to be chistled off sidewalks and steps. The kind that won't melt away quickly. The kind that hangs around and hangs around and hangs around. The kind that gets black and grey and gritty with detritus.

;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Snow.

The unexpected blizzard-conditions and icy roads variety, that doesn't let you drive safely. The kind that pulls your car off of the road and into a rather large ditch (by way of a small tree) somewhere around midnight in the middle of Vermont. The kind that gets into your practical and normally warm and comfy boots and soaks your pants up to your knees as you climb out of said car and try to make your way back to the road (which at this point is pretty far away from the car). The kind that freezes your feet and hands and nose as you wait for the "wrecker." Because every group of college girls that just put a car in a Vermont ditch around midnight wants to hear that a contraption called the "wrecker" is on its way to take care of the car.

[JennyHallu]

Not having any snow. Trying to get used to a winter in a strange place, when nothing at all feels like home. So :P to all you people whining about the chance to throw snowballs at people.

Oh, and bickering over absolutely nothing with the person you love more than anything. So frustrating.

[Lalaith]

Domain registrars who don't update their records for three years and then penalise you both in time and money when you try to transfer your domains in a perfectly legitimate way. Oh, and clearly sell all your details to spam merchants because the only domains registered with them are the ones that get all the spam.
Also the new registrar who you thought might be better but they charge you 50p a minute to lie to you and know absolutely nothing.

HATEHATEHATE
(sorry, it's been a bad day hanging on the helplines)

[littlemanpoet]

Power outages. At work. It mucks up the whole morning. Can't get the orders the usual way, can't process them the usual way, exponentially increasing the risk of errors. A lot more work too. Heck, power outages belong in Mordor anyway, even if I didn't like 'em. It'd be interesting to see how Lord Roggie would cope. :p

[Kath]

Laziness.

Well, less laziness and more knowing that you're being lazy and just not having the energy to do anything about it, so that even when the teacher whose work you are supposed to be doing comes in, you don't at least pretend to be doing something constructive, but simply sit there reading.

Course, the ability to then think up some excuse of the top of the head to get out of this mess should be assigned to the Shire, except that it's such a bad example to set!

[Celuien]

I conassign the following conversation to Mordor:

I was sitting in the lounge on a break to read the Downs when the other student on my team walked in. He looked over my shoulder and said, "The Barrow-Downs! Cool!"

At first I was delighted. Had I unexpectedly found another Downer in my class? Alas, it was not to be. He went on.

"Yeah. That's great. Isn't that the place where Dwarves live under the ground and have mines in this video game?" (I forget the game he named.)

I paused a moment, a little surpirsed, and explained the origins of the Downs, even pulling up the BD theme from the main page for more information. My classmate's eyes glazed over.

"You've got to be kidding me. The Barrow-Downs." He had a superior sniff in his voice. "It's something else they stole from the video game for that Lord of the Rings stuff."

At this point, my jaw is on the floor. The first thought I had was he must be joking. There was that parody news article about how Tolkien stole storylines from Dungeons and Dragonsm after all. So I sort of laughed and asked him if it was a joke. But he was serious. Completely serious. And went on to spend a good half hour trying to convince me that the LOTR is a "Hollywood sanitized-for-movie-audiences by Tolkien, less violent and less thematically complex" version of Heroes of Might and Magic.

I was in shock. "You do realize, of course, that Tolkien wrote the books a few decades before video games were invented."

"But this is a really old video game," he replied.

Which led to my pulling out publishing dates for the LOTR, draft dates for the Silmarillion and the attempting to find an approximate origin of this Heroes and Might and Magic business. The conversation ended with his capitulating that maybe, just maybe the LOTR came first. But he continued to state that the video game had the better story because "things aren't so black and white in the video game and they have better battles."

I groaned and buried myself in reading Werewolf.

[littlemanpoet]

I conassign the following conversation to Mordor: ....

"You've got to be kidding me. The Barrow-Downs." He had a superior sniff in his voice. "It's something else they stole from the video game for that Lord of the Rings stuff."

... "things aren't so black and white in the video game and they have better battles."

I groaned and buried myself in reading Werewolf.
You have apparently met a modern day orc; a most appropriate assignation to Mordor.

[Celuien]

You have apparently met a modern day orc; a most appropriate assignation to Mordor.
Heh. The thing I really don't get is that he's actually a nice, intelligent person when not commenting on Tolkien.

Oh well. I guess we'll keep future conversations limited to schizophrenia treatments or other related topics.

[Lhunardawen]

Heh. The thing I really don't get is that he's actually a nice, intelligent person when not commenting on Tolkien.

Oh well. I guess we'll keep future conversations limited to schizophrenia treatments or other related topics.
An associate of Doctor Hookbill's perchance? :D

[Anguirel]

Late-mid-life-crises.

Mothers who've already fled from the father of your siblings and your father and who now choose to break from their...partner (shudder) of almost ten years, leaving you feeling guilty because for the last decade you've schemed with your father, undermined and intellectually bullied the unfortunate man who's superseded him, and now realise that though weak and not very bright he was harmless, stable, fond of your mother and really pretty nice to you.

Unless it's him breaking from her, in which case I'll kill him. But it seems so unlikely.

Urgh.

[JennyHallu]

*hugs* Who knows? Sounds terribly stressful on you though.



I'm assigning something far more prosaic. You know when the air in your bedroom is chilly, and you're all wrapped up so toasty and warm in some blanket, with every muscle relaxed, in absolute and all-too-rare comfort?

Yes, I'm assigning getting out of bed. I didn't want to...

[Lhunardawen]

Quite in relation to that, Jenny, I conassign sleepiness. It's so...so overpowering. I wonder how long it will take me to be completely overcome by it.

Escalators that don't work. Because seriously, what's the point? :rolleyes:

Standing in the express train (or whatever they call it) with a whole row of men - adults, mind - sitting right in front of you. I don't really mind standing, but that is just irksome. One would expect even a little bit of chivalry left in the world.

And at the risk of turning this into a blog post, I conassign those circumstances that make you think "If only...". Like this morning. If only I left for school at the time I initially intended to, I would have missed that whatever train that was detained at one station because some poor woman apparently had had enough of life and climbed to the topmost part of a bridge fronting the station. Then I wouldn't have had to wait for more than half an hour until the suicidal woman is rescued (how ironic), and I wouldn't have been late for my make-up class in Calculus. I'll hold from conassigning integrals to Mordor because they kept me company as I waited.

So, I'll just conassign hyperbolic functions and inverse hyperbolic functions. As if trigonometric functions their inverses aren't complicated enough.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Parents! I assign parents once more. More specifically, fathers who don't get it, have never gotten it, and I suspect never will get it.

[littlemanpoet]

People who don't want to be held to the (very reasonable!) standards of the organization, and can't take correction when their unnecessary mistakes are causing problems for others .... ought to be assigned to Mordor, somewhere deep and dark where their defensiveness can do somebody some good, maybe. :mad:

Snicker..... I was wondering if I'd ever find reason to do one of these rant posts. There you have it.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

To be mugged in what was suposed to be the most safe part of a safe town.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign the bitter realization that The Perfect Man really is gay... and has a mad crush on one of your best guy friends.

[Lhunardawen]

Biting your tongue, literally. Chewing on something with much gusto when suddenly your cannibalistic tendencies overcome you, and you end up with a bothersome wound on your tongue and a bit of its skin scraped off.

[Naria]

Ha ha....that was a good one, Lhuna!! So true!

I would like to assign, Allergies to Mordor....I'm allergic to everything summer and it sucks!! :( :)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Shredded lettuce. Does anybody really need their vegetation in microscopic pieces? And if it's iceberg lettuce... ooh, don't even get me started on iceberg lettuce.

[Lhunardawen]

Cramming, but with the knowledge that everything's under control. It feels so...liberating.Realizing the next day that things aren't quite under control, after all.

Also, I send Frodo and Sam to Mordor - right at Sammath Naur - , so they wouldn't have to travel far. A deus ex machina if you ever saw one. Who needs Gollum? :p

Of course, it's still up to Frodo if he'll throw the Ring. If he won't, then I'll relocate him to right inside Mount Doom.

[Eonwe]

Ripped contacts and smarting eyes...they hurt.

[Thinlómien]

That you're having a Silmarillion-obsession (that is more serious than the one you're having all the time), but you don't have time because you are in a help leader training or on the 'downs :rolleyes: or you have schoolwork to do. That's just awful.

[Lalwendë]

I assign another weekend from Hell. It begins when a normal eye examination turns into a two hour horror akin to something from Marathon Man but with eyes and bright lights instead of teeth and drills, and then the optician finds something dodgy in one eye. So now I have to wait until the hospital can look at it to tell me if it's bad and if they have a glass eye and a patch on ice for me. *shudder*

Then I get up on Saturday morning and find we cannot get into the front room as the door catch was jammed (this is where the computers and the telly are, so it was doubly horrific) so davem had to kick the door down like in a scene from the Professionals. Despite this being funny, it split apart an original door frame and the blast knocked the pictures off the walls!

Then we stayed in all day expecting snow and there was nothing! to top this off, one of the cats had an 'accident' in the laundry pile at bedtime on Sunday. And today you realise that your job is possibly the most boring job going. :mad:

I hope chocolate has not been sent to Mordor...

[Lalaith]

Everything I said in post 908. To the power of 10.

And my own stubborness - for continuing to vent my frustration at some support centre incompetent, telling him exactly what I thought of him and his cowboy employers, even though I knew it was costing me 50p a minute for the pleasure, and that I also knew that was the only reason he was putting up with it and not putting the phone down on me.

[Bêthberry]

Tree roots! Yes, that's right, tree roots. Tree roots that grow into underground water pipes, and slowly block the pipes, making the sewers back up. EEEWWWW. :(

[Laitoste]

Snow. Especially nine inches of it coming off a 60 degree Fahrenheit weekend. What is this stupid weather trying to do to me? I hate March. :mad:

[JennyHallu]

People coming to visit for a few days with very little notice, and going to the beach while you're at work. Can't concentrate...grrr...

I'm glad they're visiting...but why can't they, oh, clean my room for me? or do dishes? (scratch that, they did the dishes last night...)

Drat. No real grounds to complain...but I do wish I were on the beach with them.

[Lhunardawen]

Those irritating tiny red things that pop out of your face to inform you that you're not getting enough sleep or you're worrying too much. Hello?! Finals week is coming up quick and I don't need anything to remind me of that, thank you very much. Get out of my face and stick yourself onto the nearest Nazgûl, will ya?

And forgetting things. You're talking animatedly with someone and you give him/her a chance to speak and come up with something different to say while he/she's speaking, then when it's your turn to talk you forget all about it. And what's worse is that it gets lodged in your mind and nags you let it out but you don't even know what it is. Frustrating.

[Lalaith]

I've assigned my own stubborness to Mordor, now I'd like to add vanity and poor sense of time.
Twenty four minutes left on the parking meter? Easily enough time to go to the bank and the fishmonger...oh and of course to pop into the shoe shop to try on a couple of pairs of boots in the sale, and that dress they had in the window of the designer shop, I wonder if I could get away with the smaller size...try on both to make sure....
Result = Parking Ticket, Cost £40. Thoroughly deserved.
At least I didn't buy anything other than fish, in the end, so I can afford to pay for the ticket.... :rolleyes:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Snow! It was nearly 70* two days ago. I wore a skirt and a light shirt. And last night there was snow! Grr to spring. It should be consistently warmer and warmer, not temptingly beautiful changing quickly to cold. The crocuses will die. :(

[JennyHallu]

Lalaith...please don't tell me you walked through these boutiques carrying a package of fish...

Thank goodness for good, old-fashioned American supermarkets.

But I'm going to assign them to Mordor anyway. Meijer, at least.

There is a product manufactured by Heinz 57 called "Salad Cream" that is only marketed and sold in Europe. (Europeans, do you know what I'm talking about?) Meijer has several aisles of imported food products, and you can get the most delightful things, including this product, which is delicious. I love the international foods aisles, and every time I have ever been in a Meijer I walk through and always find some interesting and unusual thing I'm excited to try.

Now I have moved to a new city, and guess what? No Meijers, and none of the supermarkets or grocery stores here have any international foods beyond a small section of hispanic foods. So naturally, and logically, I am assigning Meijer Corporation to Mordor for not anticipating my move and adjusting their long term plans to fit the details of my life.

[Lalaith]

Yes, I know all about salad cream...and I'm sorry to say I loathe it. But my brothers loved it and missed it dreadfully after moving abroad....it's one of those Shire/Mordor things, like Marmite (another AtM for me, but I know it has its passionate fans here on the Downs...)

And no, I didn't take the fish into the boutiques...like a true girl, I did shoes first, fish later.

[Valier]

I hereby send ALL ESSAY'S to Mordor! They are dreadful and horrid! Why? Oh why? must there be SO MANY!!!:mad:

[Kath]

I assign my printer, who for some unknown reason decided that it would be really fun to print my entire essay out in yellow. :mad:

[Celuien]

Snow! It was nearly 70* two days ago. I wore a skirt and a light shirt. And last night there was snow! Grr to spring. It should be consistently warmer and warmer, not temptingly beautiful changing quickly to cold. The crocuses will die. :(

It was 78 here the day before yesterday. And it snowed this morning, but nothing stayed. It was sunny again (but cold) by late afternoon.

Stupid weather shifts. The poor flowers and budding trees don't need to be confused.

[Lhunardawen]

The combination of an oil-slicked floor, slippery-soled shoes, and the force of gravity. And public transport. :o

[Cailín]

*whimpers* Alcohol. :o

And exams. Especially the combination of those two evils, I suppose.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Truthfulness. It always gets you in trouble. Especially if you tell people you're a werewolf. :D

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Antidisestablishmentarianism

[Formendacil]

Sleeping in until 1:30 pm...

No, seriously, I mean it. Okay, sure I don't have to do anything until 5:30, and okay, it's true that I only got to bed at around 3:00 am thanks to the 'Downs, and yes, it was blissful while it lasted...

However, when you were planning to get up at 10:30, or before noon anyway, to find that you pretty much lost half your pre-work day isn't fun.

Especially when you're having a near-hypoglycemic episode.

And, by the way, I am sending hypoglycemia to Mordor. Let's see the orks deal with diabetes.

[Eonwe]

Poeple who don't use their turn signals. or even worse, turn them on in their turn. That is not helpful. At all.

[Lalwendë]

I send to Mordor useless workplace events. The kind of thing where everyone is brought together and made to go to a hotel and do activities and listen to dull talks and 'network'. Bah Humbug. The same old things turn up as 'moans' at every single one, which suggests that all this 'feedback' never gets acted upon anyway, and they take you away from all that work that's just poling up on your desk and you know the next week is going to be more busy than ever. :mad:

Still, it's always enlivened by a little subversive activity. Such as during a session using art and crafts to express what our work 'means', making pink hearts with "I Luv Work" written on them in gold glitter and sticking them on the 'group collage'. Meh. ;)

[Shelob]

I would like to take a moment and assign the idiotic behavour of my school peers to Mordor. For four years now they have lost us one privilage after another and not only did their actions recently lose us all non-stictly-supervised computer use but they have not ceased to behave like the most baseborn of all idiotic creatures ever to exist. Just once I'd like to have a situation where our grades are called together for some purpose other than being lectured at. Failing that I wish that the administration would at least do something. Seriously, if they can take the effort to regularly lecture us and restrict those scant privilages we have remaining you'd think they could exert a little mental thought, or even just look around, and punish just one of the failures.

Gah, thank you.

[Laitoste]

Scheduling. That most evil time of year in which you are required to plan out the rest of your life and made to believe you have absolutely no time to do anything you actually WANT to do just because you have a riduculous amount of General Education requirements left to fulfill and then you won't be able to study abroad and you are going to be a failure at life and so on and so forth. It sucks. I ought to have it easy for next semester, because I already know three of the classes that I have to take. And yet, I don't know whether to take my theology or my math credit and then where am I going to get my physical activity credits and do you see what I mean? And then, the administration thought it would be a good idea to schedule room draw for the same week! So people are not only going to be stressed out about classes, but also who they want to live with next year and how to avoid living in the "bad" dorms. So, in other words, I'm sending the administration of my school. The Board of Regents, too. I like the president we have, thank you. We don't need a new one. :rolleyes:

[Lathriel]

My French prof. can be sent to Mordor cause he is the most horrible teacher I have ever had. He expects us to know all these different things that he has never taught us the verbs or he has only spent like one class on them!!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: Aren't verbs some of the most important things you have to learn when you learn a different language!!!!!!
Ok. That feels better, this is such a good threat to rant on.

[Cailín]

Scary, mouldy French cheeses. Ew, nasty.

[Kath]

Ears that are still thawing half an hour after you've come in from the cold - it hurts!

Oh and the library not having the books you wanted so you have to stand there for half an hour while the nice librarian lady finds them on the catalogue and orders them in for you.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Learning that the school library has none of the items that you need. Getting an extension on your paper so that you have time to track them down, and learning that the public library hasn't got them either. The draft is due today and I don't actually have over half of my sources in hand. I'm going to have to wing it and edit later. :rolleyes:

[Mithalwen]

Cheap nylon carpets.

I couldn't understand why my hair had become so ridiculously full of static electricity. I haven't had this problem since I left school. Then I realised that it is my new assignment in a hospital - traipsing endless corridors on institution carpet has left me crackling and looking like I have been attached to a van de Graaff generator.

[piosenniel]

Death and his attendants, come too soon . . .

[Laitoste]

Wireless internet. See my post (http://www.forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=454612&postcount=333) in the What do you "assign" to the Shire? (http://www.forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=11905) thread.

[Elu Ancalime]

I would assign Communists. Every orc is equal, they all are labors (class struggle) but theres really a dictator controlling it all.
________
Justin bieber fan (http://justinbieberfan.info/)

[Alcarillo]

Better hope Rune doesn't hear that . . .

And, um, I would like to assign to Mordor whenever people mispronounce my last name. Maybe I should move to Germany or Switzerland, where everybody would pronounce it correctly.

[the guy who be short]

I would assign Communists. Every orc is equal, they all are labors (class struggle) but theres really a dictator controlling it all.Sadly, the perfect world has already been assigned.

I'll assign the exploitation of the workers. ;)

On a serious note, I want to assign the confusion of communism with such notions as Stalinism, armed revolution and fascism.

[Cailín]

Procrastinating - though it may already be there.

I have perfected the art thus that I started making lists of what I still have to do before tomorrow, blink at the screen, feel nauseous, panic slightly and then go back to pointlessly refreshing the Downs index page.

I feel I am doomed.

[Kath]

The American spelling of 'favourite' or 'favour'. I don't know why, I can usually handle the changes, but for some reason that one has just started to really bug me.

[littlemanpoet]

The American spelling of 'favourite' or 'favour'. I don't know why, I can usually handle the changes, but for some reason that one has just started to really bug me.
Okay, I ask you Brits: do you pronounce it fay-voor and fay-voor-it?
Or is it fay-vore and fay-vore-it?
Or worse yet, is it something like fay-ver and fay-ver-it?
Or can we hope that Brits actually pronounce it like their French cousins over the channel, something like feh-vwaar and feh-vwaar-eet? :p
Or is it somewhere between the Brit and American spelling, like 'soot' instead of 'boot'?

Oh, and I assign the annoyance people get over differences in the language when they are in fact fascinating developments that reveal much about the nature of speech and language.

[Lalwendë]

Okay, I ask you Brits: do you pronounce it fay-voor and fay-voor-it?
Or is it fay-vore and fay-vore-it?
Or worse yet, is it something like fay-ver and fay-ver-it?


Hehe! Being Northern, the final option! In fact, it's fay-vret.
:p

[Cailín]

Brits don't pronounce the 'r' in favour. :)

Oh, and I assign the annoyance people get over differences in the language when they are in fact fascinating developments that reveal much about the nature of speech and language.

Ever were forced to listen to tapes for hours on end to learn the exact phonetical difference between various dialects of English? :o Fun!

[littlemanpoet]

Then there's American southern: fie-vrit. :p Or maybe that should 'fie-vree-it' :rolleyes:

[Kath]

Brits don't pronounce the 'r' in favour.
Yes we do!

And lmp I'm not sure which of your options describes how we say it, plus as Lal pointed out it's different depending on what part of the country you're from.

[Cailín]

Yes we do!

And lmp I'm not sure which of your options describes how we say it, plus as Lal pointed out it's different depending on what part of the country you're from.

*argues* Not in RP you don't. :p

[Kath]

Rp?

[Cailín]

Rp?

Received Pronunciation... also known as BBC English. ;)

[Kath]

Well, some people may not pronounce them, but I do!

[Lalaith]

I'm as pure RP as they come (I've been officially told by a linguistic-type person...very typical of someone who has been reared in a middle-class English environment with non-native-English speaking parents) and I say fay-vuh.
And fay-v'rt.

But luckily you still get different answers when you ask Brits how "they" pronounce things because different regional accents still exist.
Although they are in danger of being swamped by "telly English", aka "estuary English", or "mockney", which has already taken over most of the regional variations that once existed in southern England - and has been found as far north as Edinburgh.

So I thereby assign the ersatz monstrosity that is estuary English to Mordor.

[littlemanpoet]

In the American mid-west it's fayverit.

By the way, I'm sure you Brits aren't getting that southern American accent right because you say almost everything in front of your molars and you open your mouth tall by comparison. Southern Americans bite everything they say, and say anything they can be said behind the molars. And when more space is needed for a given sound, they go wide instead of tall. Try it.

Makes me wonder if socio-economics has an effect on linguistics, seeing as most southerners come from stock that was once poor and desperate (after all, they were desperate enough to leave merry England).

Ummmm...... I assign ....... um ..... weird (for me) timezones for playing werewolf. :p

[Lhunardawen]

Ummmm...... I assign ....... um ..... weird (for me) timezones for playing werewolf. :pYou people from far away can't have all the fun, you know. :p

And...uh...I assign my weird timezones for playing Werewolf. If I haven't already. :rolleyes:

[The Saucepan Man]

Today I shall be mostly assigning to Mordor:
A government which came into power on the back of promises to be “whiter than white” in comparison with its predecessor and to clean up the system by which political parties are funded, which purports to do so, but then sets about in earnest seeking to circumvent the rules which it introduced by procuring million pound loans which do not require to be publicly disclosed from individuals who are then “coincidentally” offered peerages and/or whose companies are awarded numerous lucrative government contracts.


Increasing state interference in the lives of individuals, such that we will soon only be allowed to eat, drink, smoke, hunt, speak out etc when, where and what the state tells us we can (if at all).


The growing tendency of people to insist on their rights without acknowledging that, with those rights, also come responsibilities, such that the state then considers itself justified in bluntly interfering as described above through increasing regulation and legislation, thus restricting all of our rights, rather than (as they should be) addressing issues through targeted initiatives and education.


Proposed legislation which allows the government to amend existing legislation and to introduce new legislation with limited parliamentary scrutiny.


Generally, the seemingly ever encroaching power and influence of the state (often ineptly and inappropriately exercised), such that it raises in my mind the frightening spectre of a prospective police state.
Just a few things I needed to get off my chest … :rolleyes:

[the guy who be short]

I assign discovering prejudices within oneself. It's saddening to discover how my subconscious makes me a hypocrite.

Then again, perhaps this belongs properly in the Shire. Without knowing one's subconscious narrow-minded nature, how can one combat it? Hmm.

Okay, I will alter this. I send to Mordor the existence of prejudices rather than their discovery.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign trying to teach a class that is unprepared and otherwise mentally absent. You ask questions and don't even receive the courtesy of a blank stare... rather, they stare past you, making a conscious effort to avoid eye contact. Because if the teachers catch your eye, they'll know you don't know the answer because you didn't do the reading. Because we really couldn't tell by the distinct lack of communication or even curious attention.

What's the point of being there? I could understand the desire to continue the lesson if they were at least somewhat conscious, taking notes, or appearing to care even a little that you're in front of them attempting to discuss creation myths. But what is the friggin point of talking at a bunch of students that don't care? I could have had more success teaching a concrete block.

[Kath]

I assign hotmail when it won't let me on the site. The 'Search web, page not found' screen gets really annoying after a while!

Also, silly rules, such as the one that demands you sign out with a teacher and then have to write in the sign out book. Apparently this is in case of a fire drill as you might have signed out with a teacher but not gone straight home. Uh, well, ever think we could have signed out in the book and not gone straight home? Hmm, thought not :rolleyes:

[Lalwendë]

And just to add to SpM's post, I also assign Governments which make a big noise about how many staff they have got rid of when the truth is different. They may have got rid of lots of staff but these are the low paid, junior staff who do all the work. They have not reduced the actual work. And they have since had massive recruitment and promotion drives to the most senior levels.

And on a rather girly (and some may say more important) note, I assign when you buy things at full price and then find them in the sales just a week later!

:mad:

[Lalaith]

And to add again to SpM's post (but not perhaps in a way that he would like... ;) )

- thinking that you only had 3 more months to wait before you could eat a meal or go out drinking with friends without having to wash your hair, dry-clean and/or launder all your clothes and suffer headaches and other allergy symptoms afterwards - and then realising that it was June 2007, not June 2006, that the government was planning to ban smoking from restaurants and other public places...

[The Saucepan Man]

Don't start me on that one ... :rolleyes:

Whoops! Now you have done it ...

I assign to Mordor politicians who grab at any opportunity to exercise their power to restrict individual liberties, wholly ignoring common sense options which accomodate all concerned.

Oh, and the fact that I only have 18 months before such social life as I currently have becomes wholly non-existant ... :(

:p

[Lhunardawen]

"Sorry." :D

Having to write extensively in Filipino. Yes, I know it's my native language - but I just can't. It's such a torment.

Things that remind you that summer's about to start. I don't have anything against them, but how can you enjoy them when you're still stuck in school and will remain stuck through most of summer? Then again, it was my choice, anyway, so I don't really have room to complain. :rolleyes:

[Formendacil]

Oh, and the fact that I only have 18 months before such social life as I currently have becomes wholly non-existant ...

You're in the top ten of 'Downers rep-wise. How can you even claim to HAVE a social life? :p

Having to write extensively in Filipino. Yes, I know it's my native language - but I just can't. It's such a torment.

Me neither. Not the native language part- just the rest of it. :p

Things that remind you that summer's about to start. I don't have anything against them, but how can you enjoy them when you're still stuck in school and will remain stuck through most of summer? Then again, it was my choice, anyway, so I don't really have room to complain.

I assign the groundhogs being wrong. It's over six weeks now, and no end of winter in sight. Oh, and with Easter coming up, we're guaranteed a dump or two yet.

What kind of a country is it that has barren Christmases and snowy Easters?

[Lhunardawen]

Me neither. Not the native language part- just the rest of it. :p I'll be very surprised if you know of another Filipino word other than daga.


I assign the groundhogs being wrong. It's over six weeks now, and no end of winter in sight. Oh, and with Easter coming up, we're guaranteed a dump or two yet.

What kind of a country is it that has barren Christmases and snowy Easters?Ground...hogs? *scratches head* No such thing here in the tropics. Therefore, they don't exist. :p

[Farael]

Ground...hogs? *scratches head* No such thing here in the tropics. Therefore, they don't exist. :p
I assign the fact that no hints of summer have appeared over here.... I mean, hints of melting are everywhere (namely, the suddenly swamped streets of Winterpeg) yet summer? HA! I won't get hints of that 'till late April

[Lhunardawen]

*gloat gloat gloat*

:p

[JennyHallu]

*gloat gloat gloat*

May not be tropics...but we've hit eighty degrees and there are flowers everywhere...

[Eonwe]

This will be one of the only times you will hear this from me, but I assign snow. It snowed a couple inches yesterday morning. It seems like a great waste. It closed the roads, but since I didn't have classes anyway, it didn't help me any. It was really just an inconvenience, because it didn't even cover all the grass. Not to mention the dead flowers.

Old Man Winter, you've had your time, now lay down and die!

[Formendacil]

I'll be very surprised if you know of another Filipino word other than daga.

{My words}

Ground...hogs? *scratches head* No such thing here in the tropics. Therefore, they don't exist. :p

Actually, I think dagas and groundhogs are probably related...

Meanwhile, I'd like to assign cellphones to Mordor- though I think they're already there. I don't have one, and I'd like to keep it that way. No ball-and-chain, internet-accessible, picture-taking, accident-causing expensive little piece of technology with too-small buttons.

Give me a rotary dial telephone weighing twenty pounds any day.

[Lhunardawen]

No ball-and-chain, internet-accessible, picture-taking, accident-causing expensive little piece of technology with too-small buttons.

Hey, not all cellphones are built with those functions. There are some of us sensible people who know what a cellphone really is for, and stick to it.

Why am I defending cellphones? I must be a werephone.

[Celuien]

I assign the groundhogs being wrong. It's over six weeks now, and no end of winter in sight. Oh, and with Easter coming up, we're guaranteed a dump or two yet.

But Punxsutawney Phil is never wrong. His website says so. (http://www.groundhog.org/faq/) :p

Meanwhile, I'd like to assign cellphones to Mordor- though I think they're already there. I don't have one, and I'd like to keep it that way. No ball-and-chain, internet-accessible, picture-taking, accident-causing expensive little piece of technology with too-small buttons.


Now don't get me started again on this. My phone is very, very basic. None of those Internet or camera functions. And I feel much, much better having it when I go to the part of town where I work. Because my car did break down there once. And it happens to be the neighborhood that's chronically in competition for the Most Dangerous Area award. The one that it's competing with for that dubious distinction is the other place I get sent all the time.

I'll happily reassign rude cell phone users.

An associate of Doctor Hookbill's perchance?
:D Of Dr. Sigmund's actually. In about 14 months...

[Mithalwen]

Hehe! Being Northern, the final option! In fact, it's fay-vret.
:p
I couldn't be more southern and I tend to agree... but with the French I would go for Fah-voor and pray-fer-ray!

But the american pronunciation that makes me laugh is saying route as we say rout. I remember being told when I was trying to get in to the centre of Chigago from the youth hostel that the "bus had been re-routed because it was Labour day". It took a moment to realise that this wasn't some kind of historical reenactment...

[JennyHallu]

Mithalwen, honey, if you were in America then it was Labor Day. Gee...get it right...;)

Y'all pronounce everything weird over there. We make sense.

The Brit-speak that makes me giggle is "Aluminium" rather than simply "Aluminum"

[Lalwendë]

Oh, and the fact that I only have 18 months before such social life as I currently have becomes wholly non-existant ...

Do I detect that you are a smoker...? :smokin: Careful, such behaviour will have you arrested by the thought police these days, along with drinking anything stronger than tap water (which also must be filtered), eating anything which is not muesli and thinking about using a car... I think using the Internet 'to excess' will be next on the hitlist of deviant behaviour. :rolleyes:

[Lalaith]

Oh come on you two, do cheer up. What about extended drinking hours?

[The Saucepan Man]

You're in the top ten of 'Downers rep-wise. How can you even claim to HAVE a social life?Not to mention being a father of young children. That's rather the point. The pitiful social life that I have at present is rather preciousss to me, and I resent having it taken away from me. :(

Do I detect that you are a smoker...?That's not the half of it. I am a smoker who likes the odd drink, eats the wrong kind of food and enjoys driving. That just about makes me public enemy number one. Luckily, I don't hunt. Otherwise I would have been quietly taken away in the middle of the night by now ... :rolleyes:

Surely there are more important things to legislate about? So I assign the misplaced priorities of governments and politicians generally to Mordor.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Cars! I send cars and their various malfunctions to Mordor. This the fourth time my plans have been shot to pieces by cars that don't work. And this time is the mechanics' fault!

When you bring a car in for part replacements and it comes out with the alignment off, that's one annoyance. But when you bring it back in to get it to drive straight, it shouldn't come out even more crooked with screwed up brakes!

And you can't blame your professor for being uncomfortable with the idea of driving, with a student, three hours to an event on unfamiliar roads at night with a car that doesn't stop and veers to the right.

And these were really good plans. :(

[Mithalwen]

Mithalwen, honey, if you were in America then it was Labor Day. Gee...get it right...;)

Y'all pronounce everything weird over there. We make sense.

The Brit-speak that makes me giggle is "Aluminium" rather than simply "Aluminum"

Jenny, sweetie ... may I remind you that the name of the language is English, and we had be using long before Mr Webster started omitting letters in a inconsistent fashion. I refuse to start spelling even worse than usual to pacify the natives - it was bad enough to be forced by necessity to ask for the bathroom in places where patently I would have no desire to have a bath... :p

[Kath]

But the american pronunciation that makes me laugh is saying route as we say rout.
Agreed Mith! It was said on some TV programme we watch and it took us a good minute or so to work out what the guy had meant!

The Brit-speak that makes me giggle is "Aluminium" rather than simply "Aluminum"
Oh yes Jenny, we're the weird ones :rolleyes:


I assign nice teachers going away because they're ill :( The woman who pulled my mark up by an entire grade last year won't be teaching us again this year, I'm worried!

[Mithalwen]

Oh come on you two, do cheer up. What about extended drinking hours?

Oh you can blame me partly for those - I spent all last summer working on Licence (and that is Licence with 2 'c's Miss Hallu :D) applications. It was quite fun being villified by the Daily Mail on an almost daily basis :rolleyes: .

[Lalaith]

Oh, I wasn't assigning them to Mordor, Mith, au contraire.


I just wish they'd extended them a few years ago when I had the time and energy to enjoy them.
But well done, anyway. :cool: