The Never Ending Poem...

[littlemanpoet]

When young hobbits are full after the fest
And penguins fly without their heads.
'But that, leaves our story in shreds',
said the lead headless penguin, so they departed

[Gurthang]

'But that, leaves our story in shreds',
said the lead headless penguin, so they departed

And the hobbits found that they were outsmarted,
For the loud sayer of ill omens was also missing.

[elronds_daughter]

And the hobbits found that they were outsmarted,
For the loud sayer of ill omens was also missing.

But the people this ill-omened sayer was dissing
Decided to leave him a fortune in gold,

[littlemanpoet]

But the people this ill-omened sayer was dissing
Decided to leave him a fortune in gold,
He had but to do what he was told
By Lobelia every day for a year

[The Sixth Wizard]

The hobbit said,"Now, look here!
I don't have to do what you say!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The hobbit said,"Now, look here!
I don't have to do what you say!"

And until the end of the day
He repeated this over again

[littlemanpoet]

And until the end of the day
He repeated this over again.
The benefacting Hobbits said to him plain,
"Of course you don't if you don't want the money!"

[elronds_daughter]

The benefacting Hobbits said to him plain,
"Of course you don't if you don't want the money!"
Which he apparently thought was highly funny,
Laughing straight up 'til he busted a gut

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Which he apparently thought was highly funny,
Laughing straight up 'til he busted a gut

he then yelled so loud, he blew up a hut!
But it belonged to an old Troll named Steve

[littlemanpoet]

he then yelled so loud, he blew up a hut!
But it belonged to an old Troll named Steve
Who stood up and yelled at the Hobbit to leave.
Poor Gus, who, gut still busted, sat and cried instead

[Celuien]

Who stood up and yelled at the Hobbit to leave.
Poor Gus, who, gut still busted, sat and cried instead
Tears streamed down his face and his eyes turned red.
"Don't yell at me," he bawled, and he blew his nose.

[littlemanpoet]

Tears streamed down his face and his eyes turned red.
"Don't yell at me," he bawled, and he blew his nose.
Old Troll took pity and said, "Well that just blows,"
And offered glue and plaster to patch Gus up.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Old Troll took pity and said, "Well that just blows,"
And offered glue and plaster to patch Gus up.

So Steve offered them a pipe and some sup,
For Hobbits can never refuse a free meal

[littlemanpoet]

So Steve offered them a pipe and some sup,
For Hobbits can never refuse a free meal.
After he'd et, feeling swell Gus made a deal,
"See here, Steve, 'bout this blowed up 'shaw'*

*Elempi has made up a name for a troll home; take it or leave it. :p

[Celuien]

"'Twasn't no great place as I saw,
Should we find ye find a new spot?"

[Gurthang]

Hence they departed from that trivial lot,
To search out a new and improved shaw for Steve.

[elronds_daughter]

Hence they departed from that trivial lot,
To search out a new and improved shaw for Steve.
"A shaw that I saw three steps back, I believe,
Would be better than this one by far,

[littlemanpoet]

"A shaw that I saw three steps back, I believe,
Would be better than this one by far,"
Said Gus. Said Steve, "By gum and by gar,
Do ye mean three steps as metaforikal?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Said Gus. Said Steve, "By gum and by gar,
Do ye mean three steps as metaforikal?

Or do ye mean you'll be my new pal?"
His drunkenness now made him slur

[littlemanpoet]

Or do ye mean you'll be my new pal?"
His drunkenness now made him slur
as much as his vision did blur;
but Gus threw his arm around Steve's shoulder

[Gurthang]

as much as his vision did blur;
but Gus threw his arm around Steve's shoulder

And lead Steve over to a great boulder.
Then drunken Gus claimed: "This'll be yer home!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

And lead Steve over to a great boulder.
Then drunken Gus claimed: "This'll be yer home!"

But then he stole all of Steve's Jam and Scones
In an attempt to begin a new life on the road

[littlemanpoet]

But then he stole all of Steve's Jam and Scones
In an attempt to begin a new life on the road.
Steve was just a dull enough troll that he knowed
That Gus was the swellest burrahobbit in Middle Earth

[Gurthang]

Steve was just a dull enough troll that he knowed
That Gus was the swellest burrahobbit in Middle Earth

Not to mention that the rising sun gave a new day birth,
And Steve realized... nothing, for he was now made of stone.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Not to mention that the rising sun gave a new day birth,
And Steve realized... nothing, for he was now made of stone.

So for a hundred years he would have to stand alone.
Meanwhile Frodo and Sam were still very confused

[littlemanpoet]

So for a hundred years he would have to stand alone.
Meanwhile Frodo and Sam were still very confused,
No surprise considering the three tankards each had used
To drown their wits and forget this day's anniversary

[Hookbill the Goomba]

No surprise considering the three tankards each had used
To drown their wits and forget this day's anniversary

All the while eating some Hookbill (http://www.arcatapet.com/fullsize/8805.jpg)*, they went to a nursery
To scare the children with their poor juggling and coarse language.

*Scary, no?

[littlemanpoet]

All the while eating some Hookbill, they went to a nursery
To scare the children with their poor juggling and coarse language.
But the children, unscareable, were wreaking carnage
from floor to roof of the erstwhile hobbit hole

[Rimbaud]

But the children, unscareable, were wreaking carnage
from floor to roof of the erstwhile hobbit hole

As children's wont, as children don't, the future's unknown hole
To gleam of eye and gloss of hair the world a puckish fair;

[littlemanpoet]

As children's wont, as children don't, the future's unknown hole
To gleam of eye and gloss of hair the world a puckish fair;
Three sheets to the wind, our two hobbits grinned, and danced a rakish tear,
until they tripped, and their alecups tipped, making the nursery a wreck

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Three sheets to the wind, our two hobbits grinned, and danced a rakish tear,
until they tripped, and their alecups tipped, making the nursery a wreck

This, of course, Made all of the class budgies peck
at the stumbling ones with such madness that...

[littlemanpoet]

This, of course, Made all of the class budgies peck
at the stumbling ones with such madness that...
Everybody fell down flat.
Sam asked, "Where's my shoe?"

[Celuien]

Everybody fell down flat.
Sam asked, "Where's my shoe?"
Replied Frodo, "I don't know. But don't feel blue.
We still have some pipeweed and ale."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Replied Frodo, "I don't know. But don't feel blue.
We still have some pipeweed and ale."

This plan, it would soon fail,
For the Dragon came and said,

[littlemanpoet]

This plan, it would soon fail,
For the Dragon came and said,
"Anybody seen my cousin Fred?"
All the Hobbits said "Nope!" Even though...

[Celuien]

"Anybody seen my cousin Fred?"
All the Hobbits said "Nope!" Even though...
...It wasn't long ago
When Fred the Friendly Dragon flew to...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

...It wasn't long ago
When Fred the Friendly Dragon flew to...

Hobbiton with a steaming hot stew
Which he fed to them swiftly until...

[littlemanpoet]

Hobbiton with a steaming hot stew
Which he fed to them swiftly until...
They'd all had their fill,
after which Fred, feeling lonesome,

[Celuien]

They'd all had their fill,
after which Fred, feeling lonesome,
Decided to throw a party most frolicsome.
Hobbits came from miles around, singing and dancing,

[littlemanpoet]

Decided to throw a party most frolicsome.
Hobbits came from miles around, singing and dancing,
And a cat fiddled and the cows took to prancing,
And an old man showed up saying he lived on the moon,

[Hookbill the Goomba]

And a cat fiddled and the cows took to prancing,
And an old man showed up saying he lived on the moon,

But they told him he was just an old buffoon
Before rolling him up to the top of a hill

[littlemanpoet]

But they told him he was just an old buffoon
Before rolling him up to the top of a hill
Where Fred the dragon picked up pad and quill
And wrote down the old man's rants in rhyme

[Celuien]

Where Fred the dragon picked up pad and quill
And wrote down the old man's rants in rhyme
Busy writing, he knew not that he sat in a patch of thyme.
That made him sneeze, and his snout spouted flame

[littlemanpoet]

Busy writing, he knew not that he sat in a patch of thyme.
That made him sneeze, and his snout spouted flame;
So it was Fred the dragon that was to blame
For the scorch down the middle of Sam's garden

[Hookbill the Goomba]

So it was Fred the dragon that was to blame
For the scorch down the middle of Sam's garden

So he then flew away, his teeth to sharpen
Before the Hobbits rose up against him...

[littlemanpoet]

So he then flew away, his teeth to sharpen
Before the Hobbits rose up against him.
Now the Dragon's view was dim
on Hobbits lying about his friend Fred

[Precioussss]

Now the Dragon's view was dim
on Hobbits lying about his friend Fred


"What's going on?" The dragon said
I think this thread should be revived

[Gil-Galad]

"What's going on?" The dragon said
I think this thread should be revived


And with that note he dived,
straight into the abyss

[Meneltarmacil]

Where a gaint snake ate him with a hiss.
And when the snake had had its fill,

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Where a gaint snake ate him with a hiss.
And when the snake had had its fill,

He then became suddenly ill
And so called Gandalf to help

[Precioussss]

He then became suddenly ill
And so called Gandalf to help

And Gandalf let out a yelp
For he is afraid of snakes

[littlemanpoet]

And Gandalf let out a yelp
For he was afraid of snakes
for he was powerful allergic to the flakes
that came from their shedding skins

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

for he was powerful allergic to the flakes
that came from their shedding skins

They swelled his shins
And he found walking rather difficult for days

[Thinlómien]

They swelled his shins
And he found walking rather difficult for days
Thus he laid in his bed, reading the lost lays,
the tales of Valinor, Beleriand and Middle-Earth

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Thus he laid in his bed, reading the lost lays,
the tales of Valinor, Beleriand and Middle-Earth

Until he found a page of mirth
that made him laugh fall from bed

[Thinlómien]

Until he found a page of mirth
that made him laugh fall from bed

and cry till his eyes were red.
For that was a very funny page,

[Eönwë]

and cry till his eyes were red.
For that was a very funny page,

But it made Elrond cry out in rage,
That he hated Gandalf's laugh on the floor,

[Hookbill the Goomba]

But it made Elrond cry out in rage,
That he hated Gandalf's laugh on the floor,

So he slammed his head in a door,
until the Wizard began to moan;

[Morthoron]

So he slammed his head in a door,
until the Wizard began to moan;

Dizzily, he vomited as he groaned,
As concussives are wont to do;

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Dizzily, he vomited as he groaned,
As concussives are wont to do;

So he threw up in Saruman's shoe,
but the many coloured fellow frowned,

[Eönwë]

So he threw up in Saruman's shoe,
but the many coloured fellow frowned,

And started spinning round and round,
Then he climbed up a yellow tree,

[Thinlómien]

And started spinning round and round,
Then he climbed up a yellow tree,

with a ferocious spree.
He did not look down

[Eönwë]

with a ferocious spree.
He did not look down

As he was a wearing a red gown
But he looked up the tree and saw,

[Galadriel55]

As he was a wearing a red gown
But he looked up the tree and saw,

..., without a scratch, a dent, a flaw,
a shiny diamond sticking out...